Calvin and Hobbes: The Series SEASON THREE
by Swing123
Summary: Co written with Garfieldodie. The third season of the Calvin and Hobbes TV show. Includes TV movies, holiday specials and and gripping season finale. Complete. PLEASE R&R!
1. Dr BrainChill P1

**Summary: **Rupert Chill and Earl team up with Dr Brainstorm after they find out he's after Calvin.

* * *

_And now the Calvin and Hobbes: The Series Season three premiere!  
part one written by Swing123_

The episode begins with a shot of Calvin's house.

It lingers for a second, then slowly, it begins to zoom out.

Then, it begins going faster, zooming out of Calvin's neighborhood, then his city, then his entire state.

The camera zooms completely out of the Earth, still moving back.

The moon flies by and disappears, along with the Earth.

As the camera flies over the top of Mars, words fade up onto the screen.

_Swing123 and Garfieldodie present..._

The words vanish, and the camera zips past Saturn and Jupiter.

As we enter the asteroid belt, a meteor flies by revealing more words.

_Calvin and Hobbes in..._

The words vanish, again, as the camera flies by Neptune, Uranus and Pluto, and finally out of our galaxy.

More galaxies fly by, and eventually vanish, with the camera still picking up speed.

_Starring Pamela Segal Adlon..._

Finally, the camera begins entering another galaxy, and more planets and stars zoom by.

_Tom Hanks..._

The camera then bursts right through a red giant, and continues zooming out.

The red gas from the star swirls around the camera and forms more words.

_Ryan Stiles  
Andrew Lawrence  
Colin Mochrie  
Eric Roberts  
Tom Kenny  
Michael Brandon  
and Neil Crone_...

The words then disperse into gas, again, and vanish from then screen.

The camera continues picking up speed.

A large white comet crashes across the screen, and vanishes from sight.

The ice from it freezes onto the screen into the title.

**Dr BrainChill**

The title lingers for a second, then, with a blast of fire, and the title immediately melts from the screen.

A large red planet with volcanoes visibly erupting from it, appeared on screen.

The camera suddenly stops its progress, then slowly began zooming in on the planet.

The camera zooms right up to a gigantic black spaceship with a "Z" logo on it, and zooms in on one of the windows.

A tall chrome alien stood in the window, staring out into the black regions of space.

He had a crescent moon shaped head, with yellow compound eyes. Instead of arms, he had two tentacles, as well several tentacles instead of legs. He had a red uniform on with a yellow belt, which had a black "Z" logo on it.

His name was Earl, and he was captain of The Offical Royal Zokian Army Crew. AKA, Lenny, Alex, Dave, and all those other morons.

Earl turned around, and faced his crew, who at the moment were sitting in their chairs at the control panels, operating the buttons and switches.

Or at least they were _pretending _to.

Earl slithered past them, and up to a door on the other side of the room.

_ZIIIIIP_

The door electronically shot upward, and Earl walked through it.

_ZIIIIIIP!!_

The door then flew back down the ground.

The entire crew turned and stared at the door.

There was a moment of silence.

"He's gone!" Erne shouted.

"WHOO HOO!!!!" Everyone screamed, throwing their tentacles into the air.

Zack reached forward, and pushed a button on the panel.

The various screens above them, which were showing X-rays of Zok, its moons, and various direct-cam videos of Calvin and Hobbes went blank.

In its place, every screen acquired a different episode of _Seinfeld_.

The aliens all slipped on their headphones, and plugged them into the panel.

* * *

Earl walked through a dark hallway, and found Rupert Chill, in his human disguise, sitting in a chair, operating some more controls, and staring at a screen in front of him.

"OK." Earl said, walking up to the king. "Earth's current position in its orbit has been locked."

"Excellent." Rupert said. "You set Alfred in charge of tracking the Earth Potentate's location. Has he done that?"

"Supposedly." Earl said. "He says he's at his house. Nothing new, in other words."

"Good." Rupert said.

He stood up from his seat.

"Then if everything is ready tell the crew to start the five minute countdown." He said.

"Very well."

Earl turned around, and slithered back through the door.

Rupert grinned, evilly.

* * *

"TURN THAT SCREEN BACK, RIGHT NOW!!!" Earl screamed, narrowing his eyes at the crew.

Frantically, the crew began pushing buttons and taking their headphones off.

"You morons!" Earl shouted. "You haven't been watching the radar, have you?!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Well... maybe."

Earl heaved a deep sigh.

"Bill, turn the radar on, right now." He said, through gritted teeth.

"Sure." Bill said, dully, reaching forward, and pushing a button the panel.

Suddenly, the screen which had Zok on it blanked out and changed.

The screen turned a bright shade of green, and white circles appeared around a small white square in the center.

Earl studied the radar for a second.

"Good then," He said, straightening up. "Alex, is the ship's hyperdrive turned on?"

Alex's eyes blanked out.

"Uhhh... Sure... Why not?" He said, turning around.

"Fine. Start the five minute countdown, and aim us for Earth's orbital position."

"OK!" Alex said, goofily, pushing some buttons on the panel. "five minute countdown is on!!!"

"Activated." Earl said.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Suddenly, the red lights on the control panel began flashing.

Earl looked over at them.

"What's that?" he demanded.

Alfred turned and stared at the controls.

"Oh, those are lights." He grinned.

"I _KNOW _what they are!!" Earl growled. "The radar is picking something up! Bring it back on screen!"

Alfred and Bill began pushing some buttons on the panel.

The radar screen came back up.

But all of a sudden, there was a difference in it.

There was at least fifty white dots surrounding the ship.

Earl squinted his eyes at the screen.

There was a large circle around the ship, and it was closing inward.

Earl's eyes popped open.

He stared at the screen with wide eyes

"Erne," He said, calmly.

"Yeah, boss?!" Erne said, cheerfully.

"Turn the electricity on to full power." Earl said. "And turn all the lights on."

There was a pause.

"Why?" Alex asked.

"We're under attack by a pack of Shadowfax." Earl said.

"Hey, that's good!" Dave yelled. "You could write a poem!"

"_TURN THE LIGHTS ON!!!!_" Earl screamed, at the top of his lungs. Not out of panic or fear, but more out of anger and exhaustion.

The alien crew began pushing buttons on the control panel, again.

Suddenly, all the lights around the ship began coming on, one at a time.

The lights throughout the ship switched on, and shown brightly.

Suddenly, Rupert came into the room.

"Earl, the lights are coming on, what's going on?" He demanded, shielding his eyes.

"We're under attack." Earl said. "Shadowfax. They're right on top of us."

Rupert stared at him.

"What?" He demanded.

"_SCREEEEEEECH!!!!_"

Rupert, Earl, and the alien crew all looked up, and stared out the window.

"Wow..." Alex breathed.

The only way the aliens could see the Shadowfax against the background of space, was from the fact that they were blocking out the stars around them.

There was a large blob of pure black around the ship, screeching.

The light was holding them at bay, but they were eyeing the ship, hungrily.

Rupert growled.

"We can't let this happen!" He growled. "We're using too much power on the lights! We're never going to be able to clear our galaxy!"

Earl turned around.

"Dave, get the main weapons ready. Alex, how much time do we have left?"

"Three dot on top of a dot "o" four." Alex said, slowly, squinting at the screen.

"We have three minutes." Earl said, expressionlessly.

Dave turned and stared at the panel.

"Uh... how do we get the weapons ready, again?" He asked, looking up.

Rupert and Earl stared at Dave.

Earl's eyes slammed shut.

For ten seconds, he stood there, gritting his teeth, trying to calm down.

Then his eyes popped open, and he turned to Dave.

He shoved him out of the way, and began pushing some buttons.

The front part of the ship, turned, and faced the group of Shadowfax.

A large laser cannon flipped into sight on the bottom of the ship.

Earl hit a large red button.

The end of the cannon began glowing bright red.

Then, a blast of light shot out, and hurled for the group.

_BLAST!!!!_

"_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!_"

Rupert and Earl grinned, wickedly, as at least fifty of the shadowfax burst into flames.

The remaining shadowfax, however, did want to take that.

They turned to the ship, opened their mouths, revealing glistening sharp teeth, and screeched.

Then, suddenly they scattered.

Considering they were completely black, they quickly vanished from the sights of the aliens.

Rupert and Earl looked around outside.

"Where did they go?" Rupert demanded.

"They left." Earl said. "That's weird. They don't usually give up that easily."

He turned to the timer on the wall.

"Doesn't matter. We're going to be off to Earth at light speed in less than one min..."

_CRASH!!!!!_

Suddenly the ship lurched to the right, throwing Rupert, Earl, and several of the crew members flying from their feet, and into the wall.

"HEY!!!!" Rupert screamed.

"_SCREEEEEEEEECH!!!!_"

Earl looked up.

"They're on top of the ship." He said, quietly.

"_SCREEEECH!!!_"

Suddenly the unmistakable sound of claws scraping against metal rang out through the ship.

"TURN THE LIGHTS OFF!!" Rupert screamed.

Earl stared at his king in shock.

"Rupert, if we do that, we won't have any protection against these things!" He yelled.

"So," Dave said, turning to Erne. "Is something important happening?"

Erne shrugged.

"It doesn't matter!" Rupert yelled standing up. "We're not going to have enough power to get out of this. Lenny turn the lights off!!"

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the shadowfax's screeches and claw scratches.

Lenny and Rupert stared at each other.

"Uuuhh... now?" He asked.

Rupert and Earl stared at Lenny for a long throbbing moment.

"No, you moron, tomorrow. _NOW!!!!_" Earl shrieked.

Lenny's eyes popped open, he spun around, and started pushing buttons on the panel.

One by one, the lights around the outside of the ship died and the lights inside switched off.

The alien's eyes glowed in the darkness.

Earl turned and stared at one of the screens.

"Twenty seconds." He said.

Trying to ignore the Shadowfax's screeches and attempts to get inside, Rupert and Earl took their seats at the front of the ship, and strapped themselves in.

The crew followed suit.

Outside, the Shadowfax were all piling on top of the ship, scraping their claws against the metal, and trying to get in.

Behind the ship, a hatch opened up, and five steel rockets extended out.

Slowly the engine's humming began getting faster and louder.

The ends of the rockets began glowing bright red.

Rupert looked behind his chair.

The screen started beeping as the timer hit five seconds.

BEEP... BEEP... BEEP... BEEP... BEEP...

_**BOOOOM!!!**_

There was a loud explosion of fire behind the ship, and a mighty lurch, the ship roared forward.

Several shadowfax were thrown off with the explosion, and while others hung on, they were soon thrown off as well as the ship began to go faster.

Slowly all the space creatures were tossed off of the ship, as it approached light speed.

Earl turned and looked at a screen before him.

"The ship is cleared. The Shadowfax are gone." he said. "Now setting a one way course to planet Earth."

The ship roared past Zok's moons, and headed off towards the Milky Way.

The camera, positioned in front of the moon, Creak, began moving forward after the ship, picking up speed, once again.

The camera went right over the space ship, and flew forward, passing up planet after planet and star after star, still going even faster.

There was a blast of blue, and suddenly everything fell into darkness, as the camera exited Rupert and Earl's galaxy.

Galaxy after galaxy flew by, until it finally entered the Milky Way.

It passed up Pluto, Uranus and Neptune, went right through the gas planet Jupiter, passed up Saturn, zoomed through the asteroid belt, flew past Mars, and came right up to the planet Earth.

Still going faster, the camera zoomed in on Earth, in on Calvin's state, into Calvin's neighborhood, and finally up to Calvin's house, where it stopped in front of his window, where he was sitting on his bed with Hobbes, reading a comic book.

Calvin looked up, and stared around the room.

"What is it, Calvin?" Hobbes asked, looking up.

"Oh nothing. I just feel like we just missed out on a big action sequence for some reason." He said, turning back to his comic book.

"Huh." Hobbes said.

Suddenly, Socrates ran inside.

"Calvin, Hobbes, Camera that likes zooming in and out of things!!!"

"What do you want, cat?" Calvin demanded, setting his comic book down. "I have better things to do than hide you from whoever you conned, this time."

"No, I haven't done anything!" Socrates yelled, frantically, pointing at the door, and hopping up and down. "It's Andy and Sherman!!!! They're in big trouble!!! Come on!! HURRY!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances, then, with a tremendous leap, they both rushed off the bed.

The trio ran downstairs, and came to the door.

Socrates silently stepped aside.

Neither Calvin nor Hobbes noticed that he was grinning.

Calvin ripped the door open.

"DON'T WORRY ANDY!!! WE'RE COMING!!!"

_SPLOOOSH!!!_

Socrates stood in the doorway, grinning from ear to ear, and staring at Calvin, who was now on the front porch.

He was covered in creamed corn.

Hobbes, however, had managed to vanish into thin air, so nothing came to him.

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin stood on the doorstep, glaring straight ahead with yellow dripping off his face.

"If it will make you feel better, some experts believe that creamed corn can cure runny noses!" Socrates said.

"No, they don't." Calvin growled, through gritted teeth.

At that very moment, Andy and Sherman came walking down the sidewalk.

They spotted Calvin and Socrates standing there at Calvin's doorstep.

Socrates waved to them.

"Hi, Andy!" He yelled.

"THAT DOES IT!!!"

Calvin leaped from his position, and pinned Socrates to the floor.

Andy rolled his eyes, as he and Sherman came up.

"Hello, Calvin. Socrates." Andy said. "Normal day?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" Calvin asked, pausing from attacking Socrates.

Socrates leaped to his feet, and pounced.

_POW!!!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!"

_CRASH!!!_

Andy peeked inside the house.

"Uhh... Calvin?" He asked.

"Just come on in, Andy." Calvin's muffled reply came.

Andy walked into the house.

"Uh, Sherman and I wanted to know..."

"_You_ wanted to know." Sherman growled. "I was perfectly happy in my lab."

"Right." Andy said. "I wanted to know if you, Hobbes, and Socrates wanted to go down to the museum. They were supposed to have this new American Indian stand, that was supposed to be interesting. Where is Hobbes, anyway?"

"You're guess is as good as mine." Calvin grumbled, standing up, and brushing himself off.

"I'm here." Came a voice.

Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked up, and watched Hobbes walking down the stairs.

Calvin glared at him.

"Congrats, Hobbes! You've managed, once again, to sneak off to save your own unworthy skin. What do you have to say for yourself?!"

There was a moment of silence.

"No, I don't really have anything." He said, finally.

Calvin growled.

"Anyway..." Andy said. "Are you interested in going?"

"Going?" Hobbes asked. "Where are we going?"

"To the museum." Andy said. "They have some new displays up that might be interesting."

Calvin glared at the two tigers before him.

"Fine, I'll go." He growled. "But I'd like to see these two go, too."

"Sure, that might be fun." Socrates grinned.

"Uhhh... OK..." Hobbes began.

"Great, let's go." Sherman said, impatiently. "I have things to do, ya know!"

"Be quiet, Shermie." Andy said.

"Whatever..." Sherman growled.

Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates stared at Andy for a moment.

"How do you _DO _that?!" Socrates demanded.

Andy rolled his eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile, several hundred miles away, in Yellowstone, another important event was occurring.

"I'VE DONE IT!!!" Brainstorm yelled, leaping from his seat. "I'VE FINALLY DONE IT!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! JACK, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!?"

Brainstorm turned and looked around.

Jack was nowhere in sight.

Brainstorm's eyes narrowed to slits.

"JACK!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!! GET HERE SO I CAN BRAG!!!"

There was a moment of silence, then one of the doors opened, and a tall silver robot walked inside, carrying a Pepsi in his hand.

"Yes, Frank?" He said, sitting down in a chair.

"_DR BRAINSTORM!!!!_ And I wanted to tell you that I've discovered the discovery of the year! Get rid of that soda, and listen to me! Don't you know that stuff is bad for you?!"

"It would only be bad for me if I was a human." Jack yawned, setting the bottle down. "I don't have a stomach for it to burn a hole through."

"Whatever." Brainstorm turned back to the screen before him. "Jack, I've been monitoring our galaxy for some form of intelligent alien life form that can help me take over the world!!"

"Uh huh." Jack replied, yawning.

"Just a few minutes ago, my amazing technology picked up signs of some alien presence entering our galaxy from BEYOND!!!"

"Sure." Jack said. "What is this, the fifth or sixth time today you've said that? It's not another asteroid?"

"Of course it's not an asteroid!!" Brainstorm shouted. "I'm positive I'm right this time! This UFO is making a straight B-line to Earth as fast as the speed of light! _IF NOT FASTER!!!_"

"Faster than the speed of light, huh?" Jack said, skeptically. "When did this show move to the Scifi Channel?"

"Oh, shut up!!" Brainstorm spat. "I'm telling you aliens are coming!! And with each passing second they're getting even closer!! And as soon as they get in range, I'm sending them my auto transmission to see if they respond!! _THIS COULD FINALLY BE MY CHANCE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!_"

"Uh huh." Jack said, dully, losing interest in Brainstorm's speech. "And the chances are is that you're going to be sending it to another giant asteroid."

"You're just jealous of my genius!!!!" Brainstorm screamed, frantically. "Now..."

He turned and looked down at the screen on his panel.

"They're in range now, go send the auto transmission!!!"

"Right. Another goofy greeting being sent off to another big rock."

"SHUT UP!!!"

Jack stood up, and walked over to the control panel.

He started pushing buttons, pausing to taking sips from his soda.

Finally, he pushed a button marked SEND, and a envelope popped up on screen.

"YOUR MESSAGE HAS BE SENT." An electronic voice said.

"EXCELLENT!!!" Brainstorm yelled, throwing his arms to the sky. "Now all that's left is to wait for their response!!!"

"Sure."

* * *

"Earl!!!" Zack whined, rushing into the main room. "Dave won't give me my VVV player back! Tell him it's _MY _turn!!!"

"Beat it." Earl growled.

Zack whined and cried, but ended up leaving all the same.

"Well, another day another dollar." Rupert said, leaning back into his chair. "What should we do to attempt to get rid of Calvin, today?"

"I dunno." Earl said. "Let's wing it. What's the worse that can happen?"

At that very moment, that same red light began flashing on Earl's keyboard and beeper went off.

Rupert and Earl looked up.

"What's that?" Rupert asked.

"Somebody's sending us a transmission." Earl said, raising an eyebrow. "Who the heck would be sending us a transmission in the middle our important errand?"

"It better not be another one of those salespeople." Rupert grumbled. "I'll scream."

"On screen." Earl said.

Suddenly, Jupiter, which was right in front of them, disappeared, and in its place, was a giant white... well, blankness.

Rupert and Earl stared at it, blankly.

Suddenly, words appeared on the white screen.

**A Dr Brainstorm presentation...**

Rupert and Earl stared.

"Right." Earl said.

Suddenly, Brainstorm's face appeared on screen.

"GREETINGS ALIEN LIFEFORMS!!!" He screamed. "My name is Dr Brainstorm!!! And this is my robot assistant, JACK!!!"

Brainstorm stepped aside, and revealed Jack.

He was sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.

"Yo," he said, holding a hand up.

Rupert blinked.

Brainstorm then stepped back in front of him.

"Anyway, I suppose you want to know why I'm sending you this prerecorded message!!! _DON'T YOU!!!!!_" he shouted

"No." Rupert said.

"Of course you do!!!" Brainstorm shouted. "I'm contacting you to recruit you to my cause!!! I am on a mission determined by fate to _TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!_"

He threw his head back and laughed, insanely.

"Well, he's not as bad as the crew." Earl said.

Brainstorm stopped laughing, and suddenly acquired a serious face.

"However, I can't do it without _YOUR_ help! That's right, even as much as a genius I am, I can not defeat my greatest enemies!!"

Earl yawned, and Rupert's attention began to wander

"That's right, already I have acquired enemies to rule the world! One is out to overthrow me and the other is a robot!! _A ROBOT!!!!_"

"He's not a robot!!!" Jack shouted, off screen.

"Whatever." Brainstorm said. "Anyway, their names are Calvin and Hobbes, and I need help defeating them."

Suddenly, Rupert's head jerked back to the screen and Earl snapped to attention.

"_CALVIN AND HOBBES?!?!?_" They both screamed.

"If you are interested in teaming up, please contact me, immediately!!" Brainstorm yelled.

There was a pause.

"OK, I think I've covered everything. Hope to hear from you soon!"

"Real smooth, Frank."

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!!!!!**_"

The screen then went blank.

Rupert and Earl sat in their seats, staring at the monitor with wide, unblinking eyes.

"Wow, Planet Potentates sure do make a lot of enemies, don't they?" Earl asked.

"Oh, that's common among them." Rupert nodded.

There was a pause.

"Shall we contact him?" Earl asked.

"Let's."

Rupert and Earl began laughing evilly, and Earl started pushing some buttons.

* * *

Brainstorm paced back and forth across his lab from one end to the other.

Jack was sitting in his chair, reading his magazine, and not paying attention to him.

"When are they going to call!!" Brainstorm demanded. "I've been waiting for _minutes_ now!!!"

"Frank when are you going to accept that even if there were any aliens coming to Earth, they would ignore anything _you'd_ send them?"

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!!!!**_" Brainstorm shouted. "And I'll have you know that aliens _are_ coming to Earth!! My radar picked it up, and if you don't want to believe me then you can just...

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Brainstorm and Jack turned and stared at the panel.

Brainstorm grinned, widely.

"Guess who!!!" He screamed.

He rushed over, and pushed the button.

However, instead of Rupert and Earl appearing, only text revealed itself before Brainstorm and Jack on the screen.

_Meet us in the forest in Yellowstone. Away from all the tourists._

There was a moment of silence.

Then, Brainstorm grinned from ear to ear.

"Look at that, Jack! They want to _meet us!!!_ Isn't that great?"

"Oh sure. Don't suspect anything, now." Jack said.

"You're just upset because you were wrong!" Brainstorm sniffed. "I told you aliens are here, and now they want to meet us!! Calvin and his robot are GOING DOWN!!!!"

"Uh huh." Jack said, standing up. "Well, I suppose you're gonna want me to come, now, right?"

"Get in the rocket." Brainstorm ordered.

"I knew it."

* * *

"And here we see Old Faithful." A tour guide said, leading a group to the edge of the pavement, where it was fenced off. "One of our most famous attractions. And in fact, the geyser is predicted to blow any second, now."

The tour guide and the group turned and stared at the geyser.

There was a moment of silence.

Then, suddenly.

_BOOM!!_

Suddenly, a boulder next to Old Faithful crashed onto its side, and a rocket exploded out.

"AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" Brainstorm screamed, as the rocket flew straight upward, and behind the clouds.

There was a moment of silence.

Everyone stared at the geyser with wide eyes.

"Uhhhhh... right. Well, moving on, we have the gift shop." The tour guide said, turning around.

* * *

Brainstorm looked over his shoulder, and peered through the clouds down to the ground.

"Nobody saw me, right?!" He yelled, frantically.

"Oh no, we left totally unnoticeably." Jack said, sarcastically.

"Good!" Brainstorm yelled, whirling back around. "NEXT STOP: _THE FOREST!!!!_"

"Uh huh."

Brainstorm pulled a lever on his jet, and they roared off, to wait _patiently_ for Rupert and Earl's arrival.

* * *

"WHERE ARE THEY!!!!" Brainstorm screamed, hysterically, as he and Jack entered their third hour of waiting. 

Jack, who had been sleeping on a rock for a while, sat up at Brainstorm's outburst, stretched his arms, and yawned.

"Are we starting to get a little impatient?" He asked, turning around.

"Oh be quiet!!!" Brainstorm shouted. "I'll have you know I'm the _**PICTURE OF PATIENCE!!!!**_"

Brainstorm threw his arms upwards, and his eye twitched.

Jack stared at him.

"Right." He said, rolling his eyes. "How do you know they're even coming? They could have just sent that back to get rid of you."

"Aliens don't lie!" Brainstorm shouted.

There was a pause.

"I don't think."

Jack heaved a sigh.

"Look, Frank, why don't we just go back to the lab, and you can continue messing up. How does that sound?"

Brainstorm glared at him.

"No, I am not going back to the lab!! I am waiting _RIGHT _here until the aliens find me!!" He shrieked.

There was another pause.

"_AND IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!!!_"

Jack sighed.

"Well, if it's all the same to you, I'm just going to take the rocket back to the lab. I'll come check in on you in late January."

Just as Jack was standing up, he and Brainstorm noticed that the wind was starting to pick up.

Brainstorm looked upward, his hair being blown to one side.

A wide grin spread across his face.

Jack squinted his eyes into the sunlight and watched as the clouds started getting darker.

"They're here!!" He yelled. "Finally! Someone who will OBEY everything I tell him to do!! LIFE ROCKS!!!!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

Then, the clouds all parted as a gigantic black spaceship cut through them, and prepared for a landing.

Brainstorm and Jack took some steps back.

Except Jack was just backing up so he'd have a tree to lean into.

_BOOM!!!_

The ground shook as the space ship and the Earth made contact.

Gee, you'd think someone would investigate this, wouldn't you?

Brainstorm grinned, insanely, and started jumping up and down.

"This is it, Jack! The moment of truth!! Behind those doors lurks the key to me _TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!_"

He threw his head back and laughed like a lunatic.

"Right, except you'll be sharing it with an entire alien race." Jack said, expressionlessly.

Brainstorm apparently didn't hear him, because he turned back to the ship, and grinned, again.

_HISSSSSSSS_

_CREEEEEEEEEAK_

Suddenly, a grey cloud hissed out of the ships engines, then, the door slid open.

A long escalator slid out of the ship, and hit the ground.

Brainstorm's eyes widened with glee.

Jack yawned.

Rupert and Earl were coming out.

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Dr BrainChill P2

_Part two written by garfieldodie_

Rupert and Earl stared at Dr Brainstorm and Jack.

Dr Brainstorm was bubbling with excitement.

"YES!" he shouted. "ALIENS FROM A DISTANT WORLD! OH, I'M SO _HAPPY! _THIS IS WONDERFUL! _**I NEVER GET TO BE HAPPY!!!**_"

Jack simply looked at the aliens.

Rupert and Earl looked at each other.

"Uh…," Jack said, for once having nothing to say to someone. "I'm Jack. He's Frank."

"_**DOCTOR FREAKIN' BRAINSTORM!!!**_" Brainstorm shouted, whirling around at him.

Then he addressed the aliens.

"Don't mind Jack. He's useless. And I, aliens, am Dr Brainstorm," he said, bowing.

Rupert looked unsure.

"Er, I am Rupert Chill, king of Planet Zok. This is Earl," he said.

Earl nodded.

Brainstorm looked up.

"NO WAY!" he shouted. "_The_ Rupert and Earl of Zok?!"

"You've heard of us?"

"Oh, you bet! Calvin's _always_ talking about you!" said Brainstorm. "And everybody's always picking on him and not believing him for it!"

"Ah, then you are _acquainted_ with the Earth Potentate," Rupert said, eyeing him closely.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack looked at each other, now both clearly confused.

"Huh?" asked Jack.

Brainstorm backed away from the aliens and approached Jack.

"What are they talking about?" he whispered.

"Uh, they must think Calvin's the ruler of Earth, and therefore, the need for them to be after him," Jack suggested.

Brainstorm nodded and then approached the aliens again.

"_Yes_, we are in fact _acquainted _with the…_Earth Potentate_," Brainstorm said.

Jack rolled his eyes.

Rupert and Earl now looked nervous.

"Umm…," Earl said. "You're not…insane, are you?"

Brainstorm stared at him with a goofy grin.

"I think that answers your question," Jack said, now feeling bored again.

Rupert and Earl slowly began to back away.

"You know, on second thought…," Rupert said, "…we, um, left the, er, iron on. We've gotta go!"

Rupert and Earl tried to run away, but Brainstorm jumped them.

_**WHUMP!**_

"NO! PLEASE!" Brainstorm wailed. "You two must assist me in destroying Calvin and Hobbes! Please! PLEASE! _**PLEASE!**_"

Earl shouted into the ship.

"HELP US OUT, YOU MORONS!"

Lenny stood at the top of the escalator.

"What? And ruin the floor show?" he asked.

Rupert and Earl growled.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise from inside the ship.

_**BLAM! KABOOM!**_

Rupert, Earl, Brainstorm and Jack looked up.

Lenny looked behind himself.

"Uh, bad news, boss!" he shouted. "It would appear that Dave blew up the navigation console."

_**BASH!**_

"And Biff knocked off the steering wheel."

_**TINKLE!**_

"And Jeff just broke a window!"

Rupert and Earl stared in a stupor at him.

Lenny chuckled nervously.

"Should I get the insurance guys on the phone?" he asked.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Rupert shouted.

"Thank you, sir!" Lenny whimpered, and he scurried away.

Dr Brainstorm finally got off of Rupert and Earl.

"So…," he said awkwardly.

Rupert and Earl groaned.

"Great," said Earl. "Without the navigation console, the steering wheel and the window, we're marooned here."

"How do we fix the ship?" Rupert asked. "We came here to capture Calvin! We'll never find the time!"

Brainstorm then grinned madly.

Rupert and Earl noticed.

"Umm…what do you want?" Earl asked.

"WE COULD FIX YOUR SHIP!!" Brainstorm shouted happily.

Rupert arched an eyebrow…I think.

"Could you?"

"For a price."

Rupert glared.

"Name it."

"You let me help you destroy Calvin and help me rule the world!"

Earl went to object, but Rupert stopped him.

"Deal," Rupert said.

Brainstorm clapped.

"_Ex_cellent!" he cheered. "Jack! Activate the towing cables in our rocket! We've gotta get this thing into the shop!"

"Whatever," said Jack, following him.

As they got back into their rocket, Earl pulled Rupert aside.

"And why, pray tell, do we need his help?!" Earl demanded. "He's just going to slow us down!"

"Nonsense," said Rupert. "With _his_ help, the Earth Potentate shall be captured, and we'll get the ship fixed for free!"

"How?!"

"We'll use the doctor as bait to lure him out, and then _WHAM!_ We have him!"

Earl considered.

"But what do we do with him when we're done?" he asked.

"Who, Brainstorm? Eh, we'll chuck him aside once he's done his job. Simple as that," Rupert said.

Earl grinned evilly.

"Brilliant!" he said.

"Go tell the crew."

"I'll try," Earl sighed.

Earl went up the escalator.

Dr Brainstorm approached Rupert again.

"Okay, Rupert! We're ready to hook up the ships! Where's your towing hook?"

Rupert looked confused.

"I'm…not sure we have one," he said, frowning up at the ship.

"Oh. Well, no matter! We'll improvise!"

Rupert grinned.

"Oh, Earl?" he shouted up the ship. "Send Lenny down here!"

* * *

A little later, Dr Brainstorm and Jack were flying the rocket to a giant field, towing the spaceship behind them. 

Between the two crafts were a bunch of towing cables…and Lenny, who was holding them all together.

"MOTHER!" he shrieked.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman were looking through the museum. 

They seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Calvin was walking around and imitating the dinosaurs.

"_**RRAAAAWWLL!!!**_" Calvin growled at someone.

"EEK!" a woman shrieked, and she ran away.

Needless to say, Hobbes and the others kept their distance from him.

Hobbes and Socrates were observing the prehistoric saber-toothed tigers.

Socrates looked a little bored.

"Well, this is fascinating, Hobbo," Socrates said, "but I really want to break something and blame it on Calvin. Can we move on?"

"You take no pride in your heritage," said Hobbes, looking at a plaque with information on it.

"Hobbes, you have been reading the same plaque for an hour!"

"It's interesting stuff!" Hobbes said. "It says here that—ACK!"

Socrates grabbed Hobbes and dragged him away.

* * *

Andy and Sherman were looking at the new American Indian exhibit. 

It was mildly interesting.

Andy was walking around it while Sherman napped on his shoulder.

Andy was annoyed.

"Shermie, if you don't want to stay, why don't you go look at something else?" he sighed.

"Yes! Thank you!" Sherman said.

Sherman leapt from Andy's shoulder and scurried away.

On the way, he heard Calvin.

"_**GGRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWLLL!!**_"

"HEY! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" a man shouted.

Sherman rolled his eyes and carried on.

* * *

Back at Yellowstone, Dr Brainstorm and Jack were overseeing the giant spaceship. 

"Well, Jack, what do you think?" Brainstorm asked.

Jack looked at it.

"Well…I could have the window fixed in fifteen minutes," he said.

"Good."

"And the steering wheel probably just needs a new bolt. That should take me about another fifteen minutes."

"Good."

"And the navigation console might take a little longer. It'll need a new set of wires. We probably have some lying around here. Then it'll need new radar. I think we could give them one of our spares."

"Excellent. We're counting on you, Jack. _DON'T SCREW IT UP!_" Brainstorm shouted.

Jack simply waved him off and pulled out a pair of wire cutters and set to work.

As he left, Brainstorm turned to the alien crew.

"You have open access to nothing. If you touch any of my stuff, you shall be injured by either it or me when I find out. You are to stay in the garage with Jack. Understand?"

The aliens all nodded.

Rupert and Earl were confused.

"Wait, why do you listen to _him?_" Earl demanded.

"He understands us!" Biff said simply.

Rupert and Earl looked at Dr Brainstorm, who simply grinned and shrugged.

The aliens marched into the garage.

"Jack, keep an eye on them!" Dr Brainstorm ordered.

"Whatever," Jack replied, climbing into the ship.

Brainstorm closed the door and locked, and he led Rupert and Earl to the main lab.

"Okay, what do we do?" he asked. "What's the _GENIUS PLAN _that you two have?!"

"Well, first, we should locate Calvin," said Rupert.

"_GENIUS_, indeed," Dr Brainstorm shouted.

Rupert sighed.

Brainstorm ran to his giant computer and typed a few things.

After a few beeps and whirrs, a picture of the museum appeared on the screen.

"Ah, their local museum!" said Brainstorm triumphantly. "The place where the _mind _is _fed!_"

"Then we'd better get _him_ over there in a hurry," Earl muttered.

"INDEED!" Brainstorm suddenly exclaimed, misunderstanding. "Now then, what's the plan?"

"Well," said Rupert, "since the Earth Potentate is more aware of you, I think you should go first after him. You can lure him out of the museum for us to capture, and then, we'll bring him back here."

"Hmmm," said Brainstorm, thinking carefully.

Rupert and Earl watched him.

"So simple…," he said.

There was another pause.

"…and yet, _SO BRILLIANT!_" Brainstorm suddenly shouted, sticking his arms in the air.

Rupert and Earl jumped back in surprise.

"I'm in! Let's rock this puppy!" Brainstorm shouted, heading for the rocket.

Rupert and Earl watched him, and then quickly slithered after him.

* * *

Back at the museum, Sherman was hustling around the museum looking at the giant dinosaur skeletons. 

As he walked, he heard a noise come from nearby.

_**WHAM!**_

"ALL RIGHT! WHERE'S THE KID?!" a familiar voice shouted.

Sherman's eyes bugged open.

"Wait…," he said. "Is that…?"

Sherman quickly scurried around a corner and looked at the front entrance.

It was Dr Brainstorm. He had his usual angry look on his face, and in his arms was a…leaf blower?

"Sir?" asked the attendant. "You're going to have to pay for your entry to our museum."

Dr Brainstorm stared at her for a moment.

Then he angrily fished through his pockets and pulled out some money.

He angrily handed it to her.

She gave him a ticket.

"There you go, sir. Have a nice day," she said, returning to her desk.

Dr Brainstorm jammed the ticket in his pocket and then started his search.

Sherman immediately ducked behind the corner and began to scurry across the floor.

Hobbes, Socrates and Andy were walking down a hallway when Sherman came pelting up behind them.

"Andy! Andy!" Sherman cried.

They turned around.

"Oh, there you are, Shermie! We were looking for you," said Andy, bending down to pick him up.

"We were?" asked Hobbes.

Sherman quickly leapt into Andy's hands.

"Gentlemen," he whispered. "We have a Brainstorm situation!"

They all looked surprised.

"Dr Brainstorm is here?!" Socrates asked.

Sherman nodded.

"But this isn't his style!" said Hobbes. "Usually he lures us to him! He doesn't just come barging in!"

"Well, you know Dr Brainstorm," said Andy, placing Sherman on his shoulder. "He _loves_ to experiment."

"We have to find Calvin!" said Sherman.

"Why?" asked Hobbes.

"Well, isn't he usually the one Brainstorm is after? We usually just get snagged into this."

"True," said Andy.

"Well then, let's just leave him be," said Hobbes walking away.

But Socrates stopped him.

"You'd desert your best friend?" he asked.

"To keep myself safe? You bet. See ya later," said Hobbes.

But Andy stopped him.

"Now Hobbes, I know you don't mean that," he said.

Hobbes sighed.

"But…I'm just not in the mood," he whined.

"It'll be okay," said Socrates. "I mean, it's just Dr B! It's not like he's threatening or anything!"

Hobbes considered this.

"All right, let's find him," he said at last.

"OW!"

They looked down at the dinosaurs in the next hallway.

"Oh, there he is," said Socrates. "He's biting someone."

They quickly ran over as Calvin was berated by the woman he'd bitten.

Andy grabbed Calvin and started to drag him away.

"Ma'am, please excuse our friend. He has Senior Winces Disease," he said, dragging Calvin away.

Once they were in another hallway, Andy let go of him.

"Hey! I was having fun!" Calvin cried.

"Well, we have bigger problems," said Hobbes. "Brainstorm showed up!"

Calvin was surprised.

"Dr _Frank_ Brainstorm?" Calvin asked.

They nodded.

"But what's he doing in a museum?!"

"Looking for you, obviously," said Sherman.

"Well, I'll go see what he wants," Calvin decided. "You guys wait here."

"No need, Cally!" said an insane voice.

They looked up.

Dr Brainstorm, with his strange-looking device, stood over them.

"Oh, hey there, Frank!" said Calvin.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_" he shouted.

"SSSSHHH!" someone hissed.

Dr Brainstorm whipped around.

"_Sorry!_" he hissed back.

Then he whipped back.

"Anyway, you're all coming with me!" he said in a quieter voice.

"Give us one reason to listen to you," said Calvin, folding his arms.

"Or else you get a taste of this!" said Brainstorm, holding the giant device up at Calvin's head.

Calvin stared at it.

"Why are you aiming a leaf-blower at my head?" he asked.

There was an awkward silence as Dr Brainstorm stared at it.

"Drat!" he said in a loud whisper. "The fake weapon didn't fool you!"

"Well, it's a bit obvious, you have to admit," said Sherman.

"I suppose I could've disguised it, but I was sort of rushed."

"By what?" Calvin asked.

"Oh…_nothing!_" Brainstorm said, failing at being mysterious.

There was a pause.

Then he lifted up the leaf-blower.

"Well, I suppose I can still smack you around with this," he said.

He prepared to bring it down on them when they immediately got out of the way.

Calvin and Hobbes ran behind him while Andy, Sherman and Socrates stood behind them.

"Why did you bring a fake weapon anyway?" Calvin demanded.

"To trick you, of course!" Brainstorm said, whirling around.

Calvin and Hobbes jumped back to avoid being hit by the leaf blower.

"Let's just get out of here," Socrates whispered.

"Agreed," said Hobbes.

They immediately turned around and headed for the entrance.

"Thank you for coming to the museum and please come again!" the attendant called.

But as Calvin, Hobbes and company got further away from the building, something happened.

_**ZZAP!**_

Immediately they were stuck in midair.

"What the heck…?" asked Hobbes.

"What hit us?" asked Andy.

"We did," said a dark voice.

They gasped and looked up.

"RUPERT!" Calvin shrieked.

"EARL!" Hobbes gasped.

"CALVIN!" Rupert growled.

"HOBBES!" Earl added.

There was a silence.

"Oh, and what are we? Nothing?" asked Andy impatiently.

"No, it's just we can't remember your names," said Rupert.

Just then, Brainstorm ran up.

"Ha! You did it!" he cheered. "We have them in our clutches!"

Calvin stared.

"Wait, you're in cahoots with _Brainstorm?!_" he cried.

Rupert and Earl simply rolled their eyes.

"YES! YES, THEY ARE!" Brainstorm shouted. "THEY HAVE JOINED ME IN MY QUEST TO DESTROY YOU AND _TAKE OVER THE WORLD!_ HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!"

"Does he _ever_ turn off?" Earl muttered.

"I blame his parents," said Sherman.

"But why _Brainstorm?!_" Calvin asked.

"Well, he agreed to fix our ship," Rupert said.

"Yes, Jack and the alien crew are repairing it even as we stand!" said Dr Brainstorm.

"And we shall now be taking you back to them," said Earl.

Dr Brainstorm took out a rope and looped the beam that had frozen Calvin and the gang, and they began to tow them away.

"This is humiliating," Hobbes hissed.

* * *

Back at the lab, Jack was having a heck of a time with the aliens. 

He was actually trying to fix the spaceship. He'd repaired the window and steering wheel. Now all that was left was the navigation console.

But the aliens were proving to be a handful.

"Mr Jack, sir?" asked Dave.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Can I have a cookie?"

"No."

Dave left, and then Carl popped up.

"Jack, can I have some cash?"

"No."

Carl left, and Lenny appeared.

"Jack, can I get an electric scooter?"

"No!"

Lenny left, and then Jay came up.

"Jack, can I—?"

"SHUT UP!" Jack shouted.

Everyone stopped, surprised by Jack's sudden outburst.

"Now, I did not have you so that you could all change my name to 'Jack, can I'," Jack announced.

Then Jack rethought what he'd just said.

"Uh…," he said. "How about you all just watch TV?"

"YAY!" they all said.

Jack pulled out a small TV and set it up in the corner.

All the aliens jumped in and started watching it.

Jack rolled his eyes and got back to work.

At that moment, Dr Brainstorm entered.

"Jack!" he called. "How's it going?"

"Well, the aliens finally shut up long enough for me to fully examine what wire I'll need for the navigation console. I fixed everything else, though."

"Good, good," said Brainstorm. "Anyway, we've CAPTURED CALVIN!"

Jack looked up.

"Seriously?" he asked.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"Just get back to work," he ordered.

And he left to rejoin Rupert and Earl.

Jack started to reconnect some wires when he noticed a shadow.

He looked up.

Erne was looking at him.

"What now?" he asked.

"Er, can I use your restroom?" he whispered.

Jack stared at him.

"Uh, just use the one on your ship," he said. "It should work."

"Thank you! You know, you and the human are so nice! It's a shame we're going to betray you in the end," he said, walking away.

Jack looked up again.

"Huh?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh, it's just that when you're done fixing our ship, Rupert and Earl are going to double-cross that Brainstorm dude and take you over with the rest of the world," Erne said, disappearing into the ship.

Jack watched him leave.

Then he looked at the navigation console he was fixing.

* * *

Dr Brainstorm reentered the lab. 

Rupert and Earl were opening some strange chambers.

Calvin and company were still floating in the air and frozen in the green beam.

"So what do we do now?" asked Dr Brainstorm.

"Well, we're going to put the Earth Potentate and his friends in stasis until we know what to do with them," said Earl.

Dr Brainstorm saw five chambers sitting before him.

"Ooh, stasis! To freeze someone into nonexistence in a field of nonmoving time!" he said. "Very sleek!"

Rupert and Earl looked surprised by his sudden burst of knowledge.

"What?"

Rupert waved it off.

Earl then grabbed Andy and Sherman.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates watched.

Earl stepped on two peddles on the stasis chambers, and the tops popped open like trashcans.

Andy and Sherman were plopped inside separate chambers.

Once the stasis chamber was locked, the field was activated, and Andy and Sherman froze in their current position.

"Whoa!" said Calvin.

Socrates attempted to run, but Brainstorm grabbed him by the tail.

Then he swung him into the air.

"OW!" Socrates shouted. "Gentle!"

He landed in the chamber, and Rupert trapped him inside, immediately halting him.

"Huh," said Calvin. "For a while, Socrates will no longer exist."

"Try not to make fun of him," said Hobbes.

Rupert immediately plucked Calvin and Hobbes out of the beam, making it disappear.

"Well, Earth Potentate," said Rupert with a slimy smile. "It looks like you've finally met your end."

Brainstorm spoke up.

"Uh…yeah. Same here," he said trying to agree.

Calvin and Hobbes gulped as they were dropped into the chambers and were trapped.

Brainstorm stared at them.

Then he got down on his knees and cheered.

"_**YES!**_" he shouted. "_FINALLY, AFTER ALL THIS WORK,__THE STRANGE-LOOKING CHILD AND HIS ROBOTIC TIGER ARE DEFEATED!!!__"_

"SHUT UP!" Rupert and Earl shouted.

Dr Brainstorm immediately clammed up.

"Sorry! Got a little excited."

"Now then, how's our ship coming?" Rupert demanded.

"Uh, Jack's still finishing the navigation console," he said.

Rupert and Earl continued to watch him.

"Uh, I'll go check for progress," he said nervously.

"You do that," said Rupert. "We're going to get something out of the ship."

Jack was just welding the navigation console back into place when Brainstorm ran in.

"WE'VE DONE IT, JACK! THE WORLD SHALL BE OURS IN A FEW SHORT HOURS!!" he shouted.

There was a pause as Jack put his welder away.

Dr Brainstorm stood there for a while.

"I WANT IT TO COME NOW!" he whined.

Jack sighed.

"To be honest, Frank, I don't think it's ever going to come for you."

Brainstorm scoffed.

"That's just like you, Jack! So _negative! _Never any hope."

"Uh, Frank, remember how earlier today, you said aliens don't lie?"

"Yes, vividly," said Brainstorm.

"Well, evidently, you were wrong, because Rupert and Earl are planning to betray us later on," said Jack.

Dr Brainstorm looked stunned.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Bah!" said Brainstorm. "I can't believe it! I can't! I shan't…because it isn't true!"

Jack looked at him solemnly.

Brainstorm looked distressed.

"But it is, isn't it?" he asked sadly.

Jack, for possibly the first time in his life, felt sorry for Dr Brainstorm.

"Oh, this sucks!" Brainstorm groaned, sitting down in a chair and holding his head.

There was an awkward pause.

"How did you acquire your data?" he asked quietly.

"One of the aliens from the crew told me," said Jack, looking at him. "They're not very bright, so they probably forgot not to tell me."

Then Dr Brainstorm's expression darkened.

"Well, they won't get away with it!" he said, standing up again. "I'll show them! Those two double-crossing backstabbers won't make a complete fool out of me!"

Jack decided it best not to say anything.

"I'll teach them what happens when you backstab Dr Brainstorm!" he continued.

"How do we do that?" Jack asked.

* * *

Steam poured from the stasis chambers as Jack pressed the button on the side. 

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman slowly came back into existence and emerged from them.

"Ooh," they moaned.

"Good morning, Calvin," Jack said. "You have now been released from stasis."

"Haven't we only just gone in?" asked Calvin, rubbing his eyes.

Then he noticed that Rupert and Earl were gone.

"Where is everybody, Jack?" he asked.

"They're dead, Calvin," Jack said.

"Who is?!?" Hobbes asked.

"Everybody, Hobbes," said Jack.

"How long were we in stasis?" Socrates asked, climbing out.

"About three million years," Jack said, pulling out a calendar.

Andy's eyes shot open.

"THREE MILLION YEARS?!?" he cried. "Have I still got that library book?!"

Brainstorm pushed Jack aside.

"Okay, Jack, enough is enough," he grumbled.

"I was just having fun," Jack said.

Everyone glared at him.

"Sorry," Jack muttered.

"So what's really going on?" Hobbes demanded.

"I'm releasing you," Dr Brainstorm said.

"What do you plan to do with us?" Calvin demanded.

"Letting you go free."

There was a long pause.

"Huh?" asked Calvin at last.

"Don't you know an offer of freedom when you hear it?" Brainstorm asked. "Get out of my lab!"

"What?!" asked Calvin.

Andy stepped forward.

"I'm sorry, I'm not buying this," he said. "You finally capture us and get us out of the way, and now suddenly, you're letting us go?!"

"Well, if you think for one second that I'm going to let those aliens double-cross me, you've got another thing coming," he said sternly.

Now Calvin looked even more surprised.

"Wait, Rupert and Earl tricked you?" he asked.

"I know it's a shocker, but yes, they did," Brainstorm said. "Even a genius like me can be tricked once in a while."

Everyone rolled their eyes at him.

"What do you plan to do?" asked Socrates.

"I'm going to let you defeat them," said Brainstorm. "You can do whatever you want with them. They're in the garage."

Everyone exchanged glances.

"Do you think we can?" asked Hobbes.

"We've done it a few times before," said Calvin.

"LET'S DO IT!" said Socrates excitedly.

They ran to the garage.

"Hey, Calvin!" Brainstorm shouted.

Calvin skidded to a halt and looked back.

Something landed in his hands.

It was the MTM.

Calvin grinned at Brainstorm.

"Thanks, Frank," he said.

"Whatever," said Brainstorm, grumbling.

Calvin ran off.

"_**AND ITS DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!!**_" he shouted.

He sat down in a chair.

Jack was leaning against the wall, sipping some lemonade.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked.

"WHAT TH—?! HOW'D YOU GET OUT?!?" they heard Rupert scream.

"Oh, I'm fine," said Dr Brainstorm, not noticing.

"EAT LASER, CHILL!" Calvin shouted.

"I guess it just wasn't meant to be," he continued.

_**BRZAP!**_

_**BOOM!**_

"Hey, don't feel bad," Jack said encouragingly. "Just chalk this up to experience."

"EARL! GRAB THEM! QUICKLY!" Rupert yelled.

"PUT THE HAMSTER DOWN!" Andy shouted.

"Besides, you wouldn't want to share the glory with aliens anyway," Jack continued.

"HEY, ALIEN CREW! THERE'S FREE MILKSHAKES ON THE SHIP!!" Socrates shouted.

_**ZOOM!**_

"GET BACK HERE!" Earl yelled.

"True," said Brainstorm. "It wasn't exactly my style, was it?"

"HOBBES, LOOK OUT!" Calvin shouted.

_**BLAM!**_

"WHOA!" Hobbes shouted.

"Oh well. After today, I'll get back to work on some better plans," he said.

"'Atta boy," said Jack, patting him on the back.

_**KABOOM!**_

"QUICK! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" Rupert screamed.

"Uh, you'd better open the doors so they can leave," said Brainstorm.

"Right."

Jack pushed a few buttons on the console.

_**VOOOM**_

The sound of the doors to the garage opening.

_**SHWOOM!**_

The sound of the aliens leaving.

There was a pause.

Then, Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman reentered the lab.

"Well, that's done," said Calvin, dusting himself off. "We'd better head for home."

"Okay," said Jack. "Your box is parked outside."

"Thanks," said Hobbes.

_**BEEP! BEEP!**_

"Oop, getting a call," said Jack, pressing a button.

Rupert and Earl appeared on the screen.

"YOU DOUBLE-CROSSED US!!" Rupert shouted angrily.

Brainstorm stood up and glared at him.

"Yes, I did," he said. "I happen to know _you_ were just using me."

Rupert and Earl then exchanged glances.

"Well, we didn't get a chance to, so _you're_ the bad guy in this one," Earl said angrily.

Just then, Lenny ran up.

"Uh, sirs? We've got a slight problem with the navigation console. It's caused us to set the wrong course, and we're headed for a two week vacation to the asteroid belt!" he said.

"Well, get us out off the course!" Rupert ordered.

"We can't! We've been locked out of the program!"

Rupert and Earl looked at each other before looking at Brainstorm.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack were grinning back at them, Jack still holding his wrench.

"Nice to know our lion still has its teeth," Brainstorm grinned, turning off the screen.

Then they turned back to face Calvin and Hobbes.

"Now then," he said, "you all get going on home so that we can prepare to destroy you some other time."

Calvin and Hobbes looked at him unsurely.

"Uh…sure, whatever," said Calvin.

And they left the lab.

Once they were alone again, Dr B turned to Jack.

"Come on, Jack. I'll order pizza," he said.

"Good idea, Frank."

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!!!**_"

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon **Calvin  
**Tom Hanks **Hobbes / Erne the alien / Alex the alien  
**Ryan Stiles **Socrates / Carl the alien  
**Andrew Lawrence **Andy  
**Colin Mochrie **Sherman / Alfred the alien  
**Bill Murray **Biff the alien  
**Tom Kenny **Earl / Lenny the alien / Jay the alien  
**Eric Roberts **Rupert Chill  
**Neil Crone **Dr Brainstorm  
**Michael Brandon **Jack  
**Jim Carrey **Dave the alien

* * *

**Coming up next: **Department Store Horrors 


	3. Department Store Horrors

**Summary: **Calvin and Hobbes get trapped in the mall when the time lock goes off at closing time.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**Department Store Horrors**

Calvin was working feverishly on the MTM one afternoon. There was a glitch in the software, and it was starting to annoy him.

Hobbes entered the bedroom and saw what was happening.

The MTM was making strange whirring noises and was vibrating loudly.

"Say, Calvin," he said, looking over Calvin's shoulder. "What's it mean when the MTM does that?"

Calvin tried frantically to fix the MTM with a screwdriver, but the noises started to get worse.

Finally, Calvin hit it with the hammer.

_**FOOOM!**_

A plume of smoke spurted from the MTM and nailed Calvin square in the face.

With a dull expression, Calvin replied, "I believe it means the MTM is broken, Hobbes."

Hobbes nodded and went back to the bed to read a comic book.

"This is getting ridiculous," Calvin muttered, dusting himself off.

"What's the trouble?" Hobbes asked, not looking up.

"The MTM is still suffering some glitches in its software," Calvin said. "This is odd. It must be a virus or something."

"Uh-huh," Hobbes said. "I say chuck it."

"I couldn't do that!" Calvin exclaimed. "I've come to think of the MTM as my son!"

There was a pause.

"Well, maybe not. Maybe it's more like a cousin."

Another pause ensued.

"Okay, not that either. Perhaps like my grandfather."

"I prefer to think of it as your zany uncle from Bermuda," Hobbes replied.

Calvin sighed and continued to tinker with it for a few moments.

Just then, Mom entered.

"Calvin, come on!" she said. "We're going to get you some new clothes."

Calvin looked up from his work, annoyed.

"Why?!" he asked. "I've got enough clothes right now!"

"Yes, and they're all red shirts and black pants. Come _on!_ We need to get going!" Mom said, tapping her foot.

Calvin glared at her.

"This is just an excuse to take me shopping, isn't it?!" he accused. "You don't want Dad to think you're spending his money on something frivolous, so you pretend you're just going to buy me a few clothes, and those other things you buy were things you 'saw on the way'! Well, I refuse to be taken in by you! I shan't be moved!"

Mom grabbed Calvin's arm and started to drag him out.

Calvin quickly grabbed onto the chair, and he dragged it behind them.

"NO! PLEASE! I'VE STILL GOT TO FIX MY MTM! IT'S MY CHILD…or my cousin…or grandfather…or—"

"Come on!" Mom ordered, releasing Calvin's arm.

Calvin quickly ran back to the MTM.

"If I leave it here unattended, who _knows _what could happen?!" he cried.

Mom rolled her eyes.

"Fine, fine, you can bring it with you. Now let's go!" she grumbled.

Calvin glared at her.

"Just for that, I'll do that!" he yelled.

Calvin grabbed Hobbes and the MTM and stormed out of the house with Mom following close behind.

Soon, they had arrived at the department store.

As they walked through the doors, Calvin continued to try and work on the MTM.

"This is ridiculous," Calvin complained. "The holographic menu's stuck, the phone isn't working, the button commands are mixed up, and somehow the music is all country and western!"

Hobbes looked at it.

"Maybe it needs a spanking," he said.

"No, it doesn't," Calvin snorted. "You're just looking for a reason to 'accidentally' break it."

Hobbes rolled his eyes around innocently.

Mom grabbed Calvin's arm.

"Come on, I've found the clothes department," she said, pulling him into a store.

"Good eye, Mom," Calvin sighed. "It's nice to know your sight has yet to have departed you."

"Calvin, just work with me here," she said. "I'm sure we can find you some cute outfits."

"There! See? That's your first mistake right there! I don't wanna look _cute!_ That can only lead to embarrassment!"

"It won't embarrass me," Mom said.

"I'M TALKING ABOUT ME, WOMAN!" Calvin roared.

Mom quickly grabbed an outfit off the rack.

"Here, try this on," she ordered.

Calvin stared at it.

It was a cowboy outfit.

"Oh, that's not even _cute_," he grumbled. "What are we doing now? Dipping into Ryan Stiles' wardrobe?"

"Just put it on," Mom sighed.

Calvin glared.

"I refuse!"

* * *

Calvin emerged from the dressing room in the cowboy outfit.

Hobbes was biting his tongue to avoid laughing.

"Oh, you look so cute!" Mom cooed.

"You shall pay dearly for this," Calvin muttered.

* * *

Next, he came out in a white tux and black pants.

"Ooh, that's very smooth," Mom said. "Now we just need to do something about the hair…"

Calvin immediately yanked the tux off of himself.

Then he threw a shoe at Hobbes to get him to shut up.

Then he came out in a little boy outfit with one of those helicopter hats.

"Oh, I need a camera!" Mom cried, running off to find one.

"I need a vomit bag," Calvin muttered, ducking back into the dressing room.

"I think you need a big lollipop," Hobbes called, still laughing.

* * *

Calvin then emerged wearing a set of blue footsie pajamas and a red cape.

"Why do I suddenly feel a sense of nostalgia?" he asked.

"Here, let me help," said Hobbes.

Hobbes reached into the hypercube and pulled out a red lunchbox and a flashlight and had Calvin hold them. Then he sprayed Calvin's hair with a spray bottle, and then shifted it until the spikes curved to the right.

There was a pause as they looked at him in the mirror.

"I don't get it," Calvin said at last.

"Yeah, me neither. I'm gonna get some carrots," Hobbes said.

* * *

Finally, Calvin emerged from the dressing room in his normal attire.

"There's only so much I can take," Calvin sighed. "I need to escape for a while."

He reached into his pocket and discovered something.

It was an unsharpened pencil.

"Yes!" he cried.

Calvin looked for Hobbes.

He was looking at some sunglasses.

Deciding that he could never convince Hobbes to be duplicated willingly, he decided to do it without asking first.

Aiming carefully, Calvin managed to get the Mini-Duplicator to scope out Hobbes, and then he pressed the pink button.

_**BOINK!**_

Hobbes at first didn't notice. He was wearing a pair of green sunglasses.

Then suddenly, he noticed his reflection in the mirror.

Grinning, Hobbes went into a laidback position.

The reflection did the same.

Then, Hobbes gave himself rabbit ears.

So did his reflection.

Next, Hobbes did a handstand.

The reflection reflected it.

Then Hobbes started spinning.

So did the reflection.

Then finally, Hobbes got dizzy and stumbled around.

The reflection _didn't._

Hobbes stopped to regain his bearings, and then, hunched over, glanced at his reflection.

His reflection was staring back at him through his green sunglasses, standing up straight and with his hands innocently behind his back.

Then Hobbes finally put two and two together.

"Oh great," he muttered.

"Hello," Hobbesclone said.

Hobbes glanced at him.

"Well, they look nice on us, but I think you should put them back," he said, referring to the sunglasses.

Calvin ran up to him.

"Okay, Hobbes. I'm going to leave duplicates of us behind so that we can have time to fix the MTM. The duplicates will be staying with Mom, okay?"

"Why do you need me?" Hobbes asked.

"Because your name is in the title too," Calvin replied.

"True."

Calvin then aimed the Mini-Duplicator at himself.

_**BOINK!**_

A second Calvin appeared next to him.

"You," he said, pointing to Hobbesclone, "Tell him what's going on."

Calvin grabbed Hobbes and the MTM and ran off.

Calvin and Hobbes ended up in the elevator.

"We'll just stay here for a little while," Calvin decided, pulling out some tools.

"This should go nicely," Hobbes sighed, pulling out a magazine and resting in the corner.

Calvin, annoyed by the elevator music, reached into the hypercube and pulled out some headphones.

"Thank goodness I had the good sense to make the MTM out of a CD player," he muttered.

He quickly turned on some loud music, and he then set to work.

Hobbes tuned out the world, reading his magazine.

People would enter the elevator every once in a while.

They found a six-year-old boy sticking a screwdriver into a CD player and a stuffed tiger with a magazine sitting in the corner.

They chose not to do anything about it.

As the elevator went up and down, Calvin got closer and closer to fixing the MTM.

Hobbes eventually dozed off.

This went on for three hours.

Neither of them knew that Mom, Calvinclone and Hobbesclone had gone home long ago.

Soon, a voice went out over the intercom system.

"Attention, shoppers," it said. "The department store with no name is now closing. "Please take your purchases to the check-out and get the heck out of my store."

Calvin was so involved in listening to music and fixing the MTM that he didn't notice.

Hobbes slept right through the announcement.

Neither of them really noticed when the crowds left the stores.

Neither of them really noticed when the doors were all locked.

They didn't even notice that the store was now completely empty.

However, they did notice when the lights turned off into the elevator.

Calvin suddenly couldn't see what he was doing.

Quickly, Calvin activated they hypercube's special glow-in-the-dark feature.

The small cube suddenly gave off a blue glow in the elevator.

Calvin looked around.

"This could be bad," he muttered.

Then he noticed Hobbes was asleep.

"Hobbes, wake up," he ordered.

Hobbes began to roll around in his sleep.

"Zzzz…Calvin…zzzz…why yes, I'm quite fond of Calvin…zzzz…pass me the gravy, please…zzzz…," Hobbes said.

Calvin glared at him.

"WAKE UP, YOU WEASEL!" he shouted.

"AAAAHH!" Hobbes cried.

Then, furious at having such a lovely dream interrupted, Hobbes immediately attacked Calvin.

They rolled around on the floor of the elevator for a long time until Calvin was able to slam him into the wall.

"What'd you wake me up for?!" Hobbes demanded, standing up.

"Someone's turned off the lights in the store!" Calvin shouted.

Hobbes finally realized that they were standing in the blue glow of the hypercube.

"Oh," he said. "Well, let's _leave_ the elevator then, huh?"

Hobbes pressed the OPEN DOORS button, and Calvin and Hobbes left the elevator.

However, they soon found that the entire building was empty and dark.

"That's weird," said Calvin.

Hobbes gulped.

"Oh no," he muttered.

"You don't think that…?" Calvin asked.

They quickly ran to the doors that stood between them and freedom.

They were locked.

"Let us out!" Hobbes screamed. "I don't deserve this fate! I'm too pretty!"

"Shut up!" Calvin hissed. "We don't want anyone to find us!"

"Why not? Then they could help us!"

"Well, I…"

Before Calvin could give an explanation, the MTM made a strange grinding noise.

_**WHIRR! WHIRR! WHIRR! CHK! CHK! CHK! CHK! WHIRRRRR!**_

Calvin pulled it out and shook it.

"Drat! The thing's _still_ malfunctioning! If it was working, it could help us escape!"

Hobbes sighed.

"Great," he muttered, sitting on the floor. "We're stuck here!"

"Well, Mom and Dad shouldn't worry. We left duplicates of ourselves with them. I'm more worried about the MTM. I can't figure out what's wrong!"

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG! WE'RE TRAPPED IN A MALL, AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS TALK ABOUT YOUR CD PLAYER!!" Hobbes roared.

"Hobbes, voice volume!" Calvin said calmly.

_**WHAM!**_

They both looked up.

"What was that?" Hobbes asked nervously.

"I don't know," Calvin replied.

_**CRASH!**_

"Oh, I'm sure it's just nothing," Calvin said unsurely.

_**SLAM!**_

"Ack! That nothing was something!" Hobbes yelped.

_**WHAM!**_

Calvin looked ahead.

There was a toy store just ahead.

"I think it's come from in there," he whispered. "Come on, Hobbes."

There was no reply.

Hobbes was gone.

Calvin sighed.

"Of course," he said. "Hobbes, as we all know, is a craven coward who worries more about saving his own sorry skin rather than helping the one person who gave him a home!"

No reply.

Calvin rolled his eyes and approached the toy store.

"Fine. I'll show him. You only get things done when you're brave."

He opened the door to the toy store and went inside.

"Hello?" he called. "Anybody there?"

_**RUSTLE!**_

Calvin jumped.

"H-hello?" he asked, a little more meekly.

_**RUSTLE!**_

Calvin then looked around the aisles.

For the first three, he saw nothing out of the ordinary.

But when he got to the fourth, he saw something weird.

There was a small door on the top of the ceiling.

It had been flung wide open, and was swaying back and forth making a creaking noise with each swing.

The rustling he and Hobbes had heard were several action figure packages falling onto the ground at once.

Calvin eyes went from the door to the toys on the ground, then back to the door.

There was a long pause.

Suddenly, another sound reached Calvin's ears. This one coming a couple of isles down.

_**CRASH!!!! TWAAAAANG!!!**_

Calvin jumped.

Very slowly, he started out of the isle, and started looking down the next one.

His eyes popped open.

There was a man standing in the isle, holding his foot in pain, and hopping around in circles. In front of him was a large, green metal frog grinning straight ahead like toys usually do.

The man was dressed entirely in black.

Black long sleeve shirt, black sweat pants, black gloves, black snow hat, black shoes, black socks, everything.

Calvin stared at him for a long moment as he limped around in circles, muttering to himself.

Then, he looked up, and saw Calvin.

He growled, dangerously, and whipped a silver gun from his pocket.

He began aiming it at Calvin.

Calvin stared at him for a moment.

Then, he acted.

"AAAAUGH!!!" Calvin screamed, at the top of his lungs reeling back in sheer terror, and rushing off in the other direction.

The man glared after him for a minute, slipped his gun back into his pocket, then started walking off.

Calvin raced through the departments, screaming his head off.

He grabbed the MTM off the floor, and raced down through the electronics isle.

Guess where Hobbes was?

He was hiding under the table displaying the plasma screen TVs, shivering.

Calvin glared at Hobbes.

"Hobbes, look at you!" He panted. "Have you no pride?"

Huh boy...

"Ok, Calvin, what _was _that?" Hobbes demanded, looking over his shoulder.

"Huh?" Calvin asked, tearing his attention away from the Mini DVD players hanging on the shelves. "Oh, it was just a burglar breaking in through the attic. Nothing major. I could use these things for an invention."

Calvin picked the mini DVD player up, and examined it.

Hobbes stared at Calvin for a long throbbing moment.

Calvin looked up.

"What?" He demanded.

"It was only a flesh ripping, cross eyed cannibal, nothing major." Hobbes said, glaring at his associate.

"Oh come on, Hobbes," Calvin said. "When you compare a burglar to everything _else_ that we've been through, don't you think he doesn't even hit the top ten list?"

"Oh, so what, you're going to ignore him?" Hobbes demanded, glaring at him.

"Well what did you have in mind?" Calvin asked. "This is a eight story building, Hobbes. I think we'll be able to hide from one man."

He put the DVD player back.

"Just as long as nothing else goes wrong in this place, we'll be just fine." Calvin said.

_**BZZZZZT!! BZZZZT!! BZZZZT!! BZZZZT!!!**_

Suddenly, sparks of electricity began shooting from the tip of the MTM.

Calvin and Hobbes turned and stared at it.

A holographic message shot out.

_MTM malfunction. Electro attack activated.  
And by the way, bite me._

"Hey!" Calvin shouted.

Suddenly, a bolt of electricity blasted out of the tip of the MTM, causing it to fall out of Calvin's hands.

The CD player fell onto the floor, and began firing wild shots in every direction, twirling around on the floor.

"AAAAUGH!!" Calvin and Hobbes screamed, leaping from the way, as the MTM blasted a hole through the shelf.

Several packages fell off the shelves, and came crashing to the ground, on top of the MTM.

The red power light began flashing, and the CD player started buzzing again.

Calvin and Hobbes looked out from behind the DVD stand.

The MTM was spinning around in circles, firing wildly in every direction.

"Hope these people have insurance." Hobbes commented, ducking a blast of electricity.

He and Calvin began backing away from the electronics aisle.

Just then, Calvin and Hobbes backed into something.

Something alive.

"AAAUGH!!!" Calvin and Hobbes both screamed, wheeling around, and facing the burglar.

He was glaring at Calvin and Hobbes, dangerously, and was holding up that same metal gun.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEELLP!!!" The duo screamed, rushing off in the other direction.

The burglar glared after them, growling.

Just then, somebody else walked into the picture.

It was a tall silver robot, holding a Pepsi in his hand.

"Hey, Frank," He yawned. "Found the soda machine. How's the being a criminal thing working out?"

The burglar swung around and faced the robot.

"JACK!!" He screamed. "IT'S DR BRAINSTORM!! And thanks a lot for giving our cover away!!"

"Cover?" Jack said, taking a sip from the bottle in his hands.

"Here I am being a creepy burglar and keeping the audience in the dark about who I am, and then _YOU_ walk up and ruin everything!"

"I think the audience has long since figured out, Frank."

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!! **_And never mind! Those two brat punks are here!!"

"Calvin and Hobbes?" Jack yawned.

"Whatever. They've followed me to me to this place and they're trying to _stop_ me!!!"

"Uh huh." Jack replied.

Suddenly, The MTM wheeled to the left, and shot a blast of lightning at Brainstorm.

Brainstorm whipped around.

"AAA!! JACK! SHIELD ME!!" He screamed, holding his arms over his face.

"I'm _drinking_ my Pepsi." Jack said, annoyed.

_BLASTT!!!_

Jack watched, blankly, as the blast threw Brainstorm across the room, and into shelf.

_CRASH!!!_

The shelf tipped over, and hit another shelf, causing that shelf to tilt, hitting another shelf, and so on.

_CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!! CRASH!!!!_

Jack walked up to him.

"Do you suppose _you'll _have to pay for that?" He asked, taking a sip.

"Jack, I am going to _DESTROY_ you!" Brainstorm shouted.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes stood behind a giant card stand, panting.

"Great." Hobbes grumbled. "Here we are, trapped in a mall, we have one of your inventions out there trying to kill us, again, and there's a crazed lunatic wandering around this store."

"Well, look at the bright side." Calvin said.

Hobbes turned and gave him a look.

"Ummm... well..." Calvin paused. "OK, so there's no bright side. Sue me."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"OK, Hobbes, new plan of action." Calvin said, turning to the tiger. "If we both split up and go in different directions, the burglar won't be able to follow us both."

"OK," Hobbes began unsurely. "Which one of us will he follow?"

"Whoever it is he sees first," Calvin replied. "Now, I'll head off upstairs towards the clothes department and such and you head on in that direction."

Calvin pointed to the left.

"Move out!"

And with Calvin rushed off towards the escalator which was currently off, climbed up them, and came to the clothes department.

Hobbes hesitated, then rushed off towards the toy's department.

* * *

Meanwhile, Brainstorm had just picked himself up, had screamed at Jack, and then decided to go back to their mission. Or _his _mission to be more precise. Jack was probably just dragged along with him.

"OK, Jack!" Brainstorm said, cutting his eyes from side to side. "We need to find that small jerk and the tall robot and destroy them!"

"He's not a robot." Jack groaned.

"Shut up," Brainstorm snapped. "Now, where is he?"

Brainstorm peeked out from behind the pharmacy desk, and looked around.

Then, his eyes fell on Calvin, who was rushing up the stairs towards the clothes.

"Target detected!" Brainstorm shouted. "Jack, put on your disguise!!"

Jack sighed.

He pushed a button on his arm.

Suddenly the Jack's metal skin opened up, and a black suit similar to Brainstorm's came out.

A black shirt, a black pair of pants, and black gloves.

And then, the screws in the top part of Jack's head, loosened, and suddenly the top part flipped over, revealing a black snow hat.

"Excellent!" Brainstorm grinned, rubbing his hands together. "Let's go destroy him! _AND THEN HE'LL STOP TRYING TO OVER THROW ME!!!_"

Jack rolled his eyes as Brainstorm whipped out that same metal gun.

"Servant Ray in hand. _LET'S GO!!!!_"

And with that, Brainstorm leaped up, and raced off towards the stairs.

Jack stood up, yawned, stretched, picked his Pepsi up off the desk, took another sip from it, then began following Brainstorm at a leisurely pace.

* * *

Meanwhile, The MTM was still hopping up and down on the ground, buzzing and throwing sparks everywhere.

Suddenly, it turned, and faced the toy department.

_ZZZZZT!!!!_

Another blast of lightning shot from the tip, and struck the shelves.

* * *

Hobbes slowly made his way through the toy department, shivering, and casting nervous glances over his shoulder.

Suddenly, he thought he saw a small spark in one of the toys. It was a Captain America action figure.

Hobbes turned, and stared at it.

It remained motionless.

Hobbes stared at it, cautiously, then, slowly, continued.

Just then, he saw it, again, in another toy. This time it was one of those toy monkeys with cymbals.

Hobbes whipped around, and stared, wide eyed.

The toy was still.

Hobbes began backing away from it.

Just then, he saw it yet again!

Another spark of electricity flew from a Barbie doll on the shelf.

Hobbes' eyes cut from side to side.

The shelves on both sides of Hobbes were suddenly engulfed in electricity.

Slowly, the toys started moving, as the crackling lightning flowed right through them.

Hobbes started backing up, looking from side to side.

Suddenly, another action figure moved forward and began punching at the plastic packaging.

Hobbes whipped around to it.

"Uh, your not supposed to do that..." He began.

The toy ripped out of the packaging, and stepped out.

"Nobody's really bought you yet..." Hobbes said.

The toy held up its hands, which electricity was flowing from.

"You _reeeeeeeally_ shouldn't do that." Hobbes pointed out.

The figure turned and stared at Hobbes.

There was a pause.

"...Hello?" He guessed.

The toy pointed a finger at the tiger.

_ZZZZT!!_

"YIPES!!!"

Hobbes leaped into the air, barely avoiding an electrical blast, then rushed off down the isle.

The other toys began ripping through their boxes, looking around, and firing lightning everywhere through their finger tips.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin was upstairs in the clothes department, hiding in the dresser room.

He heard the sounds of Brainstorm knocking stands over, ripping clothes out of his way, and growling to himself.

Calvin gulped.

Jack followed Brainstorm around, still sipping on his soda while Brainstorm rampaged through the store, knocking everything over as he went.

"I can't believe this!" The mad scientist growled. "These pants are seventy five dollars?! What kind of idiot would pay that much for a pair of pants!"

"Well, you for instance." Jack said.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"What are you talking about?!" He demanded.

"Your pointing at the price tag on the pants your wearing right now." Jack replied.

Brainstorm stared at him.

"Well who asked your opinion?" He demanded, finally.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Now then, where could that little spike haired punk be?" Brainstorm hissed, returning to knocking everything over.

Suddenly, the scientist whipped his head around to the dresser room.

He saw Calvin's feet under the door.

A wide, evil grin spread across his face.

"There we go!" He chuckled.

"Isn't this called 'invading someone's privacy'?" Jack inquired, taking a sip from his Pepsi.

Brainstorm ignored him, and whipped his Servant Ray out.

"Servant Ray!" He commanded. "Fling that door open and kill Calvin!"

There was a moment of silence.

"You don't have any accumulated knowledge at _all, _do you?" Jack said, sipping the rest out of the bottle.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"OK, then," He grumbled. "_DO NOT_ do what it was that I just said."

The Servant Ray began glowing, brightly.

Suddenly, the door flung open, and revealed Calvin. As terrified as he could be.

Then, a blast of red shot from the Servant Ray, and headed towards Calvin.

Calvin screamed, and ducked, as the blast flew through the door, and blew a hole into the wall behind him.

"Nice aiming, Frank." Jack said.

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!!!!!**_" Brainstorm shrieked.

Calvin's head came up.

"What?" he demanded. "Brainstorm? Oh..."

Calvin stood up and wiped some sweat from his brow.

"It's only you..." He sighed.

"_ONLY _ME?!?" Brainstorm demanded. "I'D THINK TWICE ABOUT THAT SENTENCE FOR A MOMENT!!"

"Uuuh, no." Calvin replied.

"SERVANT RAY!! MAKE HIM TAKE IT BACK!!!"

The gun didn't do anything.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" He demanded, walking up to him.

"He came here to buy some miscellaneous stuff for some other invention he was going to use to rule the world with."

"Huh," Calvin said. "And... uh, why here?"

"BECAUSE THIS IS ONLY STORE THAT HAS EVERYTHING I NEED!! THAT'S WHY!!!" Brainstorm screeched. "NOW STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND LET ME DESTROY YOU!!!!"

"Why did you break in?" Calvin asked.

Jack shrugged.

"The store was closed and he didn't want to wait." He said.

"JACK!!!" Brainstorm screamed, whirling around to the robot. "I COMMAND YOU TO SHUT UP!! AND THIS IS ALL GOING INTO MY REPORT!! _STOP GIVING INFORMATION AWAY TO THE __**ENEMY!!!**_"

Calvin and Jack rolled their eyes.

"And as for you!!!" Brainstorm whipped back to Calvin. "I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!! _YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT!!!!!_"

Calvin looked at Brainstorm, unsurely.

"Uh, OK..." He began.

Brainstorm whipped his Servant Ray out and aimed it at Calvin.

"SERVANT RAY!!" he commanded. "DO NOT ATTACK!!!!"

A blast of electricity suddenly blasted from the gun.

Calvin screamed, and leaped from the way as it blasted a hole into the carpet.

"Hope these guys have insurance." Jack observed.

* * *

Hobbes ran screaming through the store, holding his head.

There were several toy airplanes flying above him in a "V", firing electricity blasts at the tiger, and there were several other toys rushing after him, too, on the ground, shooting lightning at him.

Hobbes ducked behind a shelf, and the airplanes flew over him.

Unfortunately, upon trying to turn, they flew over the electronics section.

_**BLAST!! BOOM!! CRASH!! ZZAAP! ZZZZZZT!!**_

Suddenly, the MTM, fired its defense feature at the airplanes, blowing them to bits with a single blast.

Hobbes stood behind the shelf, panting.

There was still lightning flying from every angle around random parts of the store.

Suddenly, another sound reached Hobbes' ears.

The sound of marching.

Hobbes turned, and stared down at the floor.

There was a small army of toy soldiers marching up to Hobbes.

They held their rifles up and pointed them at Hobbes.

"Listen, what do you have against _me?_"Hobbes demanded, hurtfully.

The soldiers fired.

Hobbes gasped, and ducked, as the electric blast cut through the air, and blasted a hole in the ceiling.

"HEELP!!" He screamed, rushing off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin had rushed back downstairs, and was examining the damage.

"Hooo boy." He sighed.

Everything was destroyed.

Lightning was crackling everywhere, there were toys running around, shooing even more lightning, all the shelves had been knocked over, and Hobbes was in the middle of it.

Brainstorm came rushing down the escalator, laughing insanely.

"HA HA!!" He screamed, holding his Servant Ray up. "NOW YOU WILL..."

The doctor paused, and looked around the room.

"Wow, what happened here?" He asked, shocked.

Suddenly, Hobbes came rushing up.

"Calvin!" he panted. "The MTM! It's brought everything to life! The toys the machines, the books! _And they're all attacking me!!!_"

Calvin stared at him.

"Well, what did you _say_ to them?" He demanded.

Hobbes stared at Calvin for a long moment.

Then, his eyes came up to Brainstorm, who was looking around, confused.

"Oh, hi, Frank." He said. "What's up?"

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!!!**_" Brainstorm shrieked, whipping back to the duo. "You dare ask _me _what's up?!? PREPARE TO _DIEEEEEE!!!!_"

"That's nice." Hobbes grinned. "Now, Calvin, what do we do?"

"Well, the MTM has apparently reached a critical malfunction." Calvin said, rubbing his chin. "The only way to stop it is through another electrical source powerful enough to set it into a five minute state of calm. Then, I can have one more look at it, and see what's wrong."

Calvin and Hobbes turned to Brainstorm.

He was hopping around in circles, screaming, and yelling, and trying to get his Servant Ray out of his boot.

They exchanged unsure glances.

Then, they looked up at the top of the escalator.

They grinned, widely.

"Yo." Jack said, climbing down the stairs. "Have I missed much?"

"Jack!" Calvin said, excitedly. "You're just the robot we need to save us! ...From Mom and Dad when they find out how much they have to pay for the repairs!"

"I see," Jack said, rubbing his chin. "And what would Frank have to say about this?"

"He'd hate it." Hobbes grinned.

"I'm in." Jack said.

"_**JACK!!!!**_" Brainstorm screeched.

Calvin checked his watch.

Jack had now taken off the black burglar outfit, and was in his usual attire: Nothing. He's a metal robot.

"OK, Jack," Calvin said. "While Hobbes keeps Frank over there busy, you and I will stop the MTM from sucking us all into a time vortex."

"Uh huh," Jack yawned.

"Now, the MTM is going to send a Time Blast over here in about sixty five seconds."

"How do you know that?" Jack inquired.

"Because it's been doing it for the last few minutes." Calvin said. "Now, Jack, I need you to stand right over..."

He looked around.

"...HERE!"

Jack took two steps to the left.

"Good, right there!" Calvin grinned. "Now, do you have an energy absorber?"

"No," Jack replied.

"Energy catcher?"

"No,"

"Lightning rod?"

"No,"

"Anything close to that?"

Jack thought for a moment.

"I do have this," He reached into a small compartment, and took out a small box.

"What's that?" Calvin asked.

"One of Frank's inventions." Jack replied. "It's supposed to engulf entire cities into fire or something like that. All it does though is put out fires."

"Good old Frank." Calvin grinned. "OK, Jack hold that directly out in front of you!"

Jack did so.

Calvin looked at his watch.

"And five... four... three... two... one..."

_BRAAA-ZAAP!!_

Suddenly, the MTM wheeled around, and shot a blast of lightning at Jack.

It struck the box, which immediately lit up with energy and began humming.

Jack didn't even blink.

The Time Blast then shot out of the box, and headed back to the MTM.

_BLASST!!_

Suddenly, the MTM froze.

It began glowing yellow, and finally dropped to the ground, motionless.

Calvin grinned, and ran up to it.

"OK, MTM, let's check out your main software, here."

He pushed the EJECT button.

The top of the MTM came up, revealing several wires, machinery, and the regular spinner you'd expect to find in any CD player.

Calvin squinted his eyes, and stared intently at the MTM.

Then, suddenly, his eyes popped open.

"Wait a minute..." He began.

He reached into the MTM, and began fishing through some of the wires and such.

Then, he pulled something out, which had been jammed in between the holographic projector and the defense mechanism.

"_HERE'S _the problem!"

Hobbes turned away from dodging Brainstorm's blasts, and looked at Calvin.

His mouth dropped open.

Jack sighed, and shook his head.

It was a hair pin.

Calvin threw the pin over his shoulder, and closed the MTM back up.

He pressed a few buttons on it, and suddenly, the yellow glow vanished.

Slowly, the machine started humming, signaling its activation.

_...working..._

"There we go!!" Calvin shouted, triumphantly. "I have _fixed _the Mini Time Machine!!"

"Calvin, how did a hair pin get stuck in that thing?" Hobbes demanded.

"How am I supposed to know?" Calvin shrugged. "I'll check out its security footage later on, I have sorting out to do."

Brainstorm had had quite enough of all of this.

"OK!! THAT'S IT!!!" He screamed, holding his Servant Ray up. "SERVANT RAY!! DO NOT DESTROY CALVIN AND HIS ROBOTIC FRIEND!!!"

"I'm not a robot!" Hobbes snapped.

"Whatever." Brainstorm mumbled.

Suddenly a blast of light exploded from the tip of the Servant Ray.

The first shot went for Calvin.

He grinned, and held the MTM up.

_SHOOOOOOOM!!_

There was a blast of light, and the CD player absorbed the energy blast.

"Yeah, it's working, again." Calvin grinned.

He pressed the PLAY button.

_BLAAAAASTT!!!_

That same blast exploded from the MTM, and shot for Brainstorm.

"AAAAUGH!!" Brainstorm screeched, leaping from the way, as the blast hit the ground with an explosion. "JACK!! THEY'RE TAKING COUNTER MEASURES!!! _THIS IS WAR!!!!_"

"Have fun." Jack said, turning, and walking away.

"GET BACK HERE!!!" Brainstorm screeched. "JACK!!! I COMMAND YOU!! GET OVER HERE AND FIGHT!!"

There was a moment of silence.

_FOOOOOOOOM..._

_Click._

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

Suddenly, Jack came back into the electronics department, holding another Pepsi.

"Hmmm?" He asked, turning to Brainstorm.

"RRRRRRRRRGH!!!" Brainstorm growled, holding his had.

Calvin rolled his eyes, and turned around.

There were still hundreds of toys walking around the department store, shooting lightning at everything in their paths.

"So, MTM? How ya feeling?" Calvin asked, turning to the CD player.

A hologram popped out of the CD player.

_Fine. Whatever. I suppose you want me to activate the Energy Absorber?_

"Please do so." Calvin nodded.

_Oh, very well._

Suddenly, the end of the MTM began glowing, brightly.

Hobbes turned around.

The MTM started humming loudly as Calvin pointed it at the army of toys approaching.

_ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!!!_

Suddenly, all the electrical currents flowing through the shelves shot towards the MTM, and were absorbed into its hypercube.

The several toys marching around the store suddenly stopped, as the electricity was pulled from them, and straight into the MTM.

There was a small clatter, and they all fell to the ground, motionless.

Calvin then, pointed the MTM at the ceiling.

The lightning which was streaking across the air suddenly all focused onto the MTM, and soon, it all stopped.

Calvin grinned.

A holographic message popped out of the MTM

_All electrical disturbances have been pulled from the room, thank you for using the MTM._

"There!" Calvin grinned, looking around the trashed department store. "We're totally _dead!_"

"OH, I'LL SAY YOU ARE!!" Brainstorm screeched, holding his Servant Ray up.

Calvin and Hobbes turned around.

"MTM?" He asked, his eyebrows raising.

_Sure._

Suddenly electrical currents exploded out of the Servant Ray, and shot into the MTM's hypercube.

"SERVANT RAY!!" Brainstorm ordered. "DESTROY CALVIN AND HOBBES!!!!"

There was a moment of silence.

"OK, then, DO NOT DESTROY CALVIN AND HOBBES!!!"

There was another moment of silence.

Brainstorm frowned, and stared at the ray.

"What the..."

"Energy absorber, Brainstorm." Calvin said, grinning, smugly. "The MTM has just consumed all of your Servant Ray's battery power!"

Hobbes chuckled.

Brainstorm blinked.

"WELL GIVE IT BACK!!!" He ordered.

"No, you go back to Yellowstone and change the batteries." Hobbes said.

Brainstorm growled, dangerously.

"OK, fine! You've won this round. But I shall be back!! TO KILL YOU AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! BWA HA HA HA!! I'M THE GOD!! _I'M THE GOD!!_"

Calvin, Hobbes and Jack rolled their eyes.

Brainstorm turned to Jack.

"Okay, Jack! GET OVER HERE!! We need to refuel!! BEFORE WE LOOSE MORE MEN!!!"

"Whatever," Jack yawned.

Brainstorm pushed a button on his sleeve.

Suddenly, the wall next to them exploded outward, the Brainstorm rocket appeared in the mall.

Brainstorm hopped inside.

"Jack, _**GET IN HERE!!**_" Brainstorm ordered.

"See ya, Calvin, Hobbes." Jack said, walking towards the rocket. "Glad I could help."

"Uh, thanks... I guess..." Calvin said.

Jack waved goodbye, and stepped into the rocket.

_**BLASST!!**_

Suddenly, the rocket lurched forward, and blasted out another wall.

Calvin and Hobbes watched them go.

There was a moment of silence.

"Brainstorm doing that set off a silent alarm, didn't it?" Hobbes asked.

"Ah-yep." Calvin nodded.

"Of course."

"However, I know a good way out of this." Calvin grinned.

Hobbes looked up.

Calvin patted the CD player in his hands.

"My good old son / cousin / grandfather, MTM!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Calvin, I don't think even the MTM can clean this place up in time." Hobbes sighed.

"Oh do you?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

He opened up the holographic Main Menu, and began pushing some buttons.

_Concentrated Time Vortex activated_

Hobbes stared at the message.

"Concentrated Time... huh?" Hobbes demanded, looking over at Calvin.

Suddenly, a large funnel like light burst from the tip of the machine, and hit the destroyed wall.

_CRAAAACK!!_

Hobbes blinked.

All the bricks suddenly reassembled themselves onto the wall, and fixed itself.

Calvin turned the MTM onto the other wall.

The same thing happened.

Calvin then turned to the broken and fallen shelves and the toys littering the ground everywhere.

_ZZZZZZZIP!!_

Suddenly, all the shelves repaired themselves, and stood up straight on the floor.

All the toys lifted off the ground, and flew into to their appropriate packages which immediately sealed back up, and lined up on the shelves.

Calvin then turned the MTM to the clothes department upstairs.

The stands suddenly all flew back up straight, and the clothes lined back up on the racks.

"There." Calvin said, pushing the STOP button the MTM. "Everything is as it should be."

Hobbes looked around in awe.

"How... how..." He stuttered.

"Concentrated Time Vortex." Calvin replied. "The MTM just reversed everything and put it back to the way it was, exactly fifteen minutes ago."

"Amazing," Hobbes said. "Could you tell the MTM I'm sorry for doubting it?"

"Sure, why not?"

Calvin typed something into the MTM.

There was a pause.

A hologram shot out.

_Bite me._

Hobbes glared at it and began growling.

"Oh... oh... I'm sure he was just joking..." Calvin said, quickly closing the message down.

"Well, it doesn't matter." Hobbes said, glaring at the CD player. "We're still trapped in this place and now the police are coming."

"Trapped?" Calvin grinned. "Why, Hobbes, we are not trapped at all!"

Calvin turned to the locked doors, and pushed a button on the MTM.

_CLICK!!_

Suddenly, the doors flung wide open, revealing freedom.

Hobbes stared at them.

"Ooh..." he said.

"Now all we have to do is use the MTM to put ourselves in an invisibility force field, and we can just walk home." Calvin grinned. "Then we can delete those stupid duplicates and get back to our lives."

Hobbes looked at Calvin, nervously.

"Calvin you don't seem that worried that the MTM is going to malfunction, again." He began.

"Oh, it's not." Calvin said. "I checked the security footage."

Hobbes stared at him.

"When did you do that?" He asked.

"While I was cleaning the place. The point is I know how the pin got there."

"Really? How?" Hobbes asked.

"Just promise me something, Hobbes," Calvin said, as he and Hobbes walked out of the stores. "Just one thing."

"What?" Hobbes asked.

"Remind me to destroy Socrates the next time we see him." Calvin growled.

He pushed a button on the MTM, and the duo vanished into thin air.

**The End**

**Voice Work**

**Pamela Segell Adlon** Calvin  
**Tom Hanks** Hobbes / Hobbesclone  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt** Mom  
**Bill Murray: **Department store announcer  
**Neil Crone** Dr Brainstorm  
**Michael Brandon** Jack

* * *

**Coming up Next:** That's MISTER Sherman to You! 


	4. That's MISTER Sherman to You!

**Summary: **When Sherman is invited to a genius convention, he forces Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Andy to come with him.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie_

**That's MISTER Sherman to You!**

It started out as a regular day in the Andy and Sherman household.

"Andy, would you get the mail, please?" Andy's Dad asked from another room.

Andy looked up from his video game, and stared into the kitchen.

"Sure, Dad," He said, standing up, and pushing 'pause' on the joystick he was using.

Andy walked over to the front door, and opened it.

First thing he saw as he left the house was Socrates running down the street.

He was laughing his head off, and holding his arms out in front of him as he ran.

Socrates disappeared behind a fence corner, and kept running.

Followed soon after Socrates was Calvin.

He was covered in taco sauce and was screaming unkind things to the tiger.

Andy rolled his eyes.

He stepped off his porch, and walked down his walk towards his mailbox.

He opened it up, and picked up the several envelopes and catalogues inside.

He stood at the street corner, and filed through it all.

Then, he turned around, and walked back to the house.

He walked inside, went into the kitchen, and placed the mail on the counter.

Then, he walked back into the living room, picked his joystick back up and sat back down.

Just then, Sherman emerged from his lab.

"Andy, is the mail here?" He asked.

"Yep." Andy said. "It's on the counter."

"Thanks."

Sherman took his goggles off, and walked into the kitchen.

He walked over to the base of the counter.

There, the hamster reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small remote control.

He pushed a button on it.

Suddenly, tiny shoes that Sherman was wearing lit up, and slowly began lifting off the ground.

Sherman twisted a knob on the remote, and rose up to the level of the counter.

There, he hopped onto it, pushed the button, again, and the light in his shoes died.

He walked over to the pile of mail, and began reading the return addresses.

He picked one envelope up, and held it over his head, and continued reading.

This his eyes lit up.

"YES!!" He yelled, pumping his arm to the sky.

Andy looked up. He pushed 'pause' again on his game, stood up, and walked over to Sherman.

"What is it, Shermie?" He asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Andy get this letter, would you please?" Sherman asked, pointing at one of the envelopes under his feet.

Andy reached forward, and pulled it out from under the pile.

He read the return address.

"TGS?" He asked. "What does that stand for?"

"The Genius Society." Sherman said. "It's a club for the gifted, so to speak. They're having a meeting, tonight, and if I'm not mistaken, they're inviting me to come."

Andy opened the envelope, and pulled out a piece of paper.

He unfolded it, and began reading.

"Greetings Mr Sherman J. Hamster," He read. "You have been invited to tonight's meeting for The Genius Society (TGS), if you are to attend, please bring an invention of yours to introduce during the presentation. Refreshments will be provided. Sincerely, The President of the TGS."

"Great!" Sherman said, excitedly. "I have just the invention I can use!"

Sherman hopped down from the counter, and rushed into his laboratory.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin had given up his chase after Socrates, had cleaned the taco sauce off himself, and was currently working on the main components to his Time Machine.

In other words, he was drawing more buttons on the front panel inside the box.

He was covered in black marker, and he was squinting at the box as he wrote down the labels for the buttons.

Suddenly, Hobbes stepped into the room.

"Hey, Calvin, I got Andy on the phone." He said, holding up a cordless telephone. "He says Sherman's going to a genius convention, and he wants to know if you want to come."

"No." Calvin said, blankly, without any hesitation whatsoever.

"No." Hobbes said holding the phone back up to his ears.

There was a moment of silence.

Hobbes placed his paw on the speaker, and turned back to Calvin.

"He says there'll be refreshments." He said.

"I'm in," Calvin said, stepping out of the Time Machine. "Just as long as..."

"Oh, and Socrates is coming, too," Hobbes said.

Calvin stared at him.

"_**RRRRRRRRRRRRRGHH!!!!**_" He screamed, holding his head.

* * *

"So why exactly do we have to come?" Calvin demanded, as he, Hobbes and Socrates stood in Andy's living room while Sherman rushed around, trying to get ready.

"Calvin, come on!" Socrates said. "We're _going_ because there will be _refreshments!_"

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, though, Vermin, why _did _you invite us to this thing?" Hobbes asked.

"Because I still have hope that you can be civilize you people." Sherman said.

There was a moment of silence.

"So... refreshments, then!" Socrates grinned.

Calvin, Hobbes, and Sherman rolled their eyes.

"Well, if those geniuses are going to be showing off inventions I have a few things to introduce." Calvin chuckled, reaching into his pocket.

Sherman looked over at him, nervously as Calvin pulled out his hypercube.

"Let's see, I have my MTM, The Time Pauser, The Scream Horn, heh, that will be a riot, The Mega-Shrinker 5000..."

"Actually, Calvin..." Sherman said, running up to Calvin. "Maybe it would be better if you _didn't_ show them your inventions..."

Calvin scowled.

"Why?" He asked. "These inventions could revolutionize the planet!"

There was a pause.

"Don't let him do it!" Hobbes hissed at Sherman.

"For the love of humanity _don't let him do it!!_" Socrates added. "By the way, do you know what _kind _of refreshments will be there? Burgers? Pasta? Mexican?"

Calvin glared at them.

"The point is that this club will only be interested in more... sophisticated inventions." Sherman said, crossing his arms.

"_Sophicticated?_" Calvin demanded. "What do you _mean _sophisticated? I could out-invent you, any day!"

"Your inventions are made from CD players, microphones, megaphones and little toys you got at Burger King." Sherman said, crossing his arms.

"Point being?" Calvin asked, raising his eyebrow.

Sherman sighed.

"Hey, if I had access to hunks of metal, and plastic and all that, I could make my inventions look like anything I wanted!" Calvin shouted.

Just then, Andy walked into the living room.

"I'm ready to go. What are you guys arguing about, now?" He demanded.

"Something about the refreshments that are going to be served." Socrates said, turning a grin onto Andy.

"Whatever." Andy said. "Anyway, are you guys ready to go?"

"Yes, I... Andy, I told you to dress up!" Sherman yelled.

"I changed my shirt." Andy said, defensively.

"He's got you there, Sherman." Calvin grinned, turning to him.

Hobbes and Socrates nodded.

Sherman rolled his eyes.

"Fine, whatever. Let's just go." He sighed.

Andy walked over, and picked Sherman up.

Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates followed Andy to the door.

"REFRESHMENTS!!!" Socrates shouted, suddenly, his arms going to the air.

"SHUT UP!!" Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all screamed.

And with that, the five struck out for the library at the end of town, where the meeting was going to be held.

Socrates spent the whole time talking about the refreshments.

Of course.

At last they came to the library.

"OK," Sherman said. "The meeting is at seven thirty sharp. Calvin, what time is it?"

Calvin checked his watch.

"Seven thirty-one." He said, dully.

There was a pause.

"That figures." Sherman sighed.

They walked inside.

"Ah, I can smell the refreshments already!" Socrates sighed.

"Socrates," Hobbes began, irritably.

"Wait!" Socrates yelled, holding a hand out. "I think I can identify the foods! I picking up some deviled eggs, a strawberry cheese cake, some pasta... sniff, sniff, Yes, definitely some pasta! And.."

"Would you please shut up, now?" Calvin demanded.

"Well excuse me!" Socrates sniffed, crossing his arms.

Andy walked into a small meeting room.

They were at the bottom floor, you see, so there weren't any books. They were upstairs.

Andy and Sherman looked around the room.

"Huh." Sherman said, blankly.

Apparently, Sherman had not been the _only_ genius animal invited to the meeting.

There were several other hamsters on some of the desks, some bird cages holding various parrots and cockatoos, a few dogs were sitting at some of the desks, wearing glasses, as well as some house cats, a boy with a small stuffed lion, and a few people.

Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates walked inside, and stared into the room.

"Pumping intellect into animals must be a popular sport at the universities, now." Socrates commented.

Hobbes' eyes fell onto the lion, which was standing next to the small boy.

The boy had messy brown hair, was wearing glasses, and holding a clipboard. He was apparently the genius.

The lion was standing on his hind legs, looking around with a smug expression on his face. His arms were crossed, and he grinning at the other people and animals as if he was their ruler or something.

"Oh boy, one of those." Hobbes sighed. "The so called 'Kings of the Jungle'."

"They really have let that title go to their heads." Socrates nodded. "Now then, where's the refreshments?"

"Look," Sherman said, turning a glare onto Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Andy. "Would you all please just settle down and try to act half way civilized? If I make a good enough impression they might let me into the club."

"What?" Hobbes asked, turning to Sherman. "Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever. I'm going to have a little chat with _the king_ over there."

"Hobbes, don't pick fights with any lions." Calvin said, rooting through his hypercube.

"Watch me," Hobbes said, marching over to the lion.

"He's really got something against those guys, doesn't he?" Socrates asked.

"Yeah, he claims that a bunch of lions kicked him out of some Big Cats club."

"Uh huh. HEY! Refreshments!" Socrates rushed off to a table a few feet away.

* * *

"Hello," Hobbes said, walking up to the lion. "My name is Hobbes, have we ever met before?"

The lion turned and stared at him.

"Ah," He said, raising his eyebrows. "You're a tiger?"

"Yes, last time I checked." Hobbes said.

"The _lower_ breed, I see." The lion nodded.

Hobbes' eyes narrowed.

_And the game is on_. He thought to himself.

* * *

Andy casually walked around the room, nodding at people and animals and looking casual. He grinned when he saw someone carrying drinks around on a tray.

A man walked up to him as well.

"I'll have a chardonnay," he said, taking a glass off the tray.

"And I'll have a Hawaiian Punch," Andy said.

The man with the tray nodded and disappeared.

The man in the suit looked down at Andy.

"Don't believe we've met. I'm Edgar Sinclair," he said, shaking Andy's hand.

"Don't believe we've yet met Edgar Allen Poe," Andy replied, casually. "But I'm Andy."

Edgar looked at Andy unsurely.

"What do you do, Mr Andrew?" he asked.

Andy, trying to mock the guy's sophisticated voice, replied, "Video games, Mr Sinclair."

"Ah, I've always thought that if I didn't go into business, I'd go into computer programming," Edgar said.

"Yes, and if you had wheels, you'd be a bus," Andy replied.

"Actually, I happen to own several bus lines."

"Really? Then all you need now is a chassis!"

And they both laughed that sophisticated laugh.

"You know, you're a stitch. Maybe you should come by the club. We'd like to give you a kick."

"May I _kick back?_" Andy replied.

They both laughed again.

* * *

Calvin and Socrates were standing at the refreshments table.

Calvin was rooting through his hypercube and Socrates was eating.

"So, Sherman doesn't think my inventions are _sophisticated _enough, does he?" he snorted.

"Uh-huh. What is this?" Socrates asked, showing something to him.

Calvin glanced at it.

"It's caviar," he said.

Socrates ate it.

"Well, I'll show that stuck-up gerbil who's more of a _genius!_"

"That's nice, and this?" Socrates said, showing him something else.

"Squid."

Socrates ate it.

"It's quality that counts in any good invention!" Calvin continued.

"Lovely and this?" Socrates asked.

"Cocktail Wiener."

"Ah, now I've seen these before. They should be _bigger!_" Socrates said, plopping it in his mouth.

"Socrates, will you give it a rest?!" Calvin ordered. "We're supposed to hobnobbing with these people!"

Socrates thought for a moment.

"Well, I'm okay hob-wise," he said. "It's the nob-part I don't get."

Calvin sighed.

Just then, a duck wearing a tie waddled up.

"Hello," he said.

Calvin looked down at him.

"Hi," he said, and he resumed looking through his hypercube.

"I see you have a hypercube as well," the duck said.

"Yeah. I'm just looking for the really good inventions," Calvin replied, not really caring.

"Interesting. Who are you here with?"

"Oh, I'm with the hamster."

"Uh-huh."

The duck waddled away.

Calvin rolled his eyes and began to search some more.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hobbes and the lion, whose name was Caesar, were in a heated debate.

"Oh please!" Hobbes snorted. "That whole fire thing is fake! The Disney Corporation discriminates tigers!"

"Yes, and they clearly adore _us,_" Caesar retorted. "They made _three _Lion King Movies!"

"Bah! That proves only one thing!"

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

"That a lion can't be brought up without the assistance of a meerkat and a warthog!"

* * *

Socrates continued stand at the table with a glass of water. Right now, he was stirring it full of sugar.

A man in a tux was standing next to him.

"You know, if you put enough sugar in this stuff, it tastes just like ginger," Socrates said.

He wasn't really noticed.

Socrates shrugged and gulped down the sugary water.

* * *

Sherman was talking to a boy and a dog.

"As you can see," he said, holding up a small machine, "it has the ability to determine the mood frequencies from anyone's parents when they sense they are in trouble."

The boy and the dog stared at him, confused.

Sherman sighed.

"I live with an eight-year-old boy," he explained.

"Ah," said the boy. "Quite interesting."

"Indeed. Quite," said the dog, nodding his head.

Sherman smiled and walked away.

"Ick," the dog muttered. "He _reeks_ of desperation."

* * *

Calvin finally pulled out his Transmogrifier Gun.

"_Here_ we go!" he said triumphantly. "I was wondering where this was."

Then he turned to a bowl of shrimp.

_**BRZAP!**_

Everyone whipped around.

Calvin had turned the bowl of shrimp into a bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.

Calvin ate for a while before he noticed their stares.

"What?" he asked. "I'm six! What do you want?"

A cat approached him.

"Excuse me, but what form of technology do you use for your transmogrification?" she asked.

Calvin was delighted at the prospect of showing off.

"Oh, I use telepathy," he replied.

"Really?" the cat asked. She sounded impressed. "How did you achieve it?"

Calvin paused.

"I just…programmed it into the gun, and there we go," he said at last.

The cat was really impressed now.

"Fascinating," she said.

"Yes, it was no real attempt on my part. I just wanted it, and in it went!"

"This is interesting," she said.

"What is?" a man asked.

"This boy has achieved a telepathically-powered gun that changes the molecular structure of an object," the cat said.

Calvin stared for a while.

"Uh, I just call it a Transmogrifier Gun," he said casually.

* * *

Andy was walking around the room, trying to act smooth. He found Sherman over by the books.

"Hey, Shermie, baby! How ya been?" Andy said, winking at him.

Sherman grumbled.

"So far, things haven't been going very well," he said. "How're the others doing?"

"Well, last I saw, Hobbes was getting into a fight with a lion, Socrates was making a pig of himself, and Calvin was looking for an invention to show off," Andy replied, looking around.

Sherman sighed.

"They would do this," he grunted. "They're doing this deliberately."

"Oh, relax, Shermie," Andy replied, sipping his Hawaiian Punch. "Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates wouldn't _deliberately_ try to embarrass you!"

Sherman glared at him.

Andy rethought his statement.

"Calvin wouldn't _deliberately _try to embarrass you," he said.

Sherman nodded and looked around.

"Well, just as long as he keeps quiet, I'm sure this should go alright."

Just then, a duck flew in low.

"Have you seen it?" he asked.

"Seen what?" Sherman asked.

"There's a boy with a water pistol changing things into other things!"

The duck flew away excitedly.

"Oh no," Sherman moaned.

"Cheers," Andy replied, downing his drink.

* * *

"So just because you've got this big thing of hair around your head, you naturally assume it gives you 'authority'?" Hobbes demanded.

"As such, and it's called a _mane_, you cretin," Caesar retorted.

"No, it's called a sideways Mohawk! All it means you're a reject from some '80s punk band!"

"Well, at least I have a sense of style!"

"Oh, please! You've just got that plain old yellow fur! It lacks the style my strips give me, and you _clearly_ lack panache!"

"_You_ clearly lack _brains!_"

"Bah! That was a cheap shot, and it missed as well!"

* * *

Socrates was rooting through Calvin's hypercube until he found a really long straw.

Then he glanced over at someone who was drinking some punch.

Grinning mischievously, Socrates managed to dip the straw into the glass without anyone noticing.

_**SLURP!**_

He gulped the whole thing down in one swallow.

"Ah, cherry," he said, taking the straw back.

Then he tossed the straw aside and picked up the whole bowl of punch and began to slurp it down.

* * *

Andy was carrying Sherman over towards Calvin, who was surrounded by a group of people.

"What's he doing?" Sherman grumbled.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Calvin said proudly, holding up the MTM, "I shall reverse this milk's age all the way back before it expired…_five months ago!_"

Everyone oohed.

Then Calvin looked confused.

"Just checking, but why would anyone _keep_ milk that long?" he asked.

Shrugging it off, Calvin pressed a button on the MTM.

_**BRZAP!**_

Calvin began to rewind the milk backwards.

Immediately, the terrible smell began to disappear, and the milk began to become a liquid again.

After a few seconds, Calvin hit STOP and presented the milk carton to someone in the crowd.

The cat took it and drunk from it.

"Ooh, it works," she said.

Everyone clapped.

Sherman stared.

"Huh, what do you know?" Andy commented. "He seems to be doing alright for himself."

Sherman scowled.

"Oh, that figures!" he complained. "I've been working my _butt_ off for these people, and he whips out a CD player and a water pistol and wows them all! Typical!"

Sherman angrily scurried away.

* * *

Calvin waved at all the clapping people, but then he saw Sherman out of the corner of his eye.

Worried, Calvin quickly packed up his things and hastily said, "Uh, I'll be right back. I've gotta do something." And with that, he made an exit from the crowd.

Calvin approached Andy.

"What's wrong with Sherman?" he asked.

"He's just disappointed because you're doing a better job than he is," Andy said. "I'm gonna go talk to him."

"No, why don't I try," said Calvin. "I know it's not like me, but it's just my love of animals that gets me going on things like this."

Andy simply nodded and went to try the refreshments.

When he got there, he saw Socrates had found the plates and was currently recreating the food pyramid with whatever food he could find.

"Hey, Socrates, how're you doing over here?" he asked.

"Eh, I'm okay," Socrates replied, tossing a piece of cake on the top of the pyramid of food. "Yourself?"

"Meh, I've been better. I've spoken in a fake voice for the past half hour. I wanna gouge my eyes out with an ice pick after talking to these people!" Andy complained.

Socrates simply nodded.

"Uh-huh. Hmmm…I need more grains for the bottom," he said, searching the table.

Andy rolled his eyes.

"These people act so jerky!" he continued. "They behave as though anyone with one notch below their IQ is a babbling fool!"

"That's nice," Socrates said, piling some french bread under his pyramid. "I guess I should include more vegetables to balance it out."

"Socrates, will you stop obsessing over food for just a minute and speak to me?!" Andy complained.

Socrates rolled his eyes as he threw some sliced carrots into the pile.

"Fine, fine. I think you should stop acting like these people before you _become_ one!" he said.

Andy looked confused.

"Huh?"

"Well, think about it. You're going around with a fake voice giving fake details about yourself… Let's face it. That's what _these_ people are! And you know what? If they don't like you, that's _their_ problem!"

Andy stared at him.

"Socrates, I've never heard you talk like this before!" he said.

"Yeah, I like to keep a stalk of wisdom in my brain and release it every ten years. This should tide me over until 2017," Socrates replied. "Now then, where's the fried squid…?"

* * *

Sherman sat and pouted over by a plant.

Calvin saw him sitting there by himself.

"Hey, Sherman," he said. "How're you doing?"

Sherman glared at him.

"Oh, I see you were able to pull yourself away from your fame and fortune to talk to me."

"What fame and fortune, Sherman? I only showed them a few things! It's not like I plan to take the high road with this, you know?" Calvin said.

Sherman stared at him.

"What…?"

"I mean, I'm not going to let this go to my head. I'm just going to enjoy this little bit of fame and enjoy having people _like_ my inventions instead of running from them, and then go back to having them be despised by everyone like they always are."

Sherman paused.

"You mean…you only show them off because you want people to appreciate the work you put into them?" he asked.

"Yeah!" said Calvin. "I mean, to hear Hobbes talk, you'd think I'd have blown up the entire Earth five times over, when the reality is that they've barely done a thing! Very few people actually know they _exist!_"

Sherman thought for a bit.

"So…you weren't trying to prove me wrong?"

"About the sophisticated thing? Nah… I was a little mad at first, but then I got over it. Besides, this is a party, and I don't get invited to many parties, so I was just trying to fit in like you said to."

Sherman sat there for a while, pondering.

It was weird. Sometimes, Calvin seemed like a crazed lunatic bent on destroying the world, but at moments like this…it was clear Calvin was just like any other kid…

…to a point.

Just then, someone approached Calvin.

"Excuse me!" a dog said. "We've wanted to know more about this Duplicator!"

Calvin glanced at Sherman, and then looked at the dog.

"Uh, sure," he said. "What do you want?"

"We want to know how to design one!"

Calvin simply reached into the hypercube and pulled out a cardboard box.

"Uh, well, that's pretty much it."

"Interesting," said Edgar Sinclair. "It's designed to look like a cardboard box!"

Calvin arched an eyebrow.

"Actually, it _is_ a cardboard box," he said.

There was a pause.

"Here, look," said Calvin.

Calvin took a leaf off the plant and tossed it into the box once it was on its side. Then he tossed it inside.

_**BOINK!**_

Calvin opened the flaps on the box and revealed there were now two leaves in it.

"There," he said. "No voodoo mumbo-jumbo. Just a simple box."

Everyone stared at him.

"You're kidding, right?" Edgar asked.

"No, really," Calvin said.

"Well, what's the technology?" the dog asked.

"Technology?"

"Yes, what makes it work?" the duck asked.

Calvin pulled out a black marker.

"Magic marker," he said simply.

The silence was deafening.

"And…?"

"And nothing!" Calvin insisted. "Look, one day I decided I wanted a Duplicator, so I took this box, wrote _Duplicator _on the side, and lo, I had a Duplicator!"

Everyone looked at him disbelievingly.

"That's it?" the cat asked.

"Well, I _am_ six!" Calvin replied, crossing his arms.

Edgar spoke up.

"I'm sorry, but unless you can somehow give us blueprints for this, I'm afraid we can't market this," he said.

"Market?" Calvin asked.

"Yes, that's the whole purpose of inventing!"

"Well, not for me! I mean, sure, it sort of was at first, but now I just do it because it's fun!"

Everyone snorted snootily.

"Oh, really?" Edgar said, disgusted. "How childish!"

Sherman finally decided to say something.

"Well, what do you expect?" he said. "He's a _kid!_ He's all _about _having fun!"

"Well, that's as may be," Edgar replied, "but that's not what TGS is looking for!"

Sherman looked at all the creatures in the crowd.

"Is this what club did all you people? Inventing isn't fun for you anymore! It's all about money now, isn't it?"

"Well…yes," Edgar said, as if it were obvious.

Sherman glared at them.

"Calvin, I think it's time we went home," he said.

"Agreed," Calvin said, mocking Edgar's voice. "Cheerio! Toodle-pip and all that! Taa!"

"Okay, don't over do it," Sherman muttered.

* * *

They met up with Andy and Socrates at the refreshment table.

"Come on, guys. We'll take it home with us," Calvin said, referring to Socrates' every-growing food pyramid.

"Check," Socrates said. "Andy, give me a hand here!"

Socrates and Andy quickly picked up the plate and hauled it away over their heads and out the door.

On the way out, Calvin saw that Hobbes was still in his debate with Caesar.

"Oh, so that's how it is gonna be, huh?" Hobbes snorted. "We've resorted to insults about the family?!"

"It would explain a thing or two," Caesar retorted.

"Okay, buddy! That's it! It's game time!"

Hobbes went to punch the lion, but Calvin grabbed him.

"Come on, Hobbes. It's time to go home."

"But…! But…! But he…and I!" Hobbes complained.

"Ha!" Caesar shouted. "Victory for the lions, the _true_ King of the Jungle!"

Calvin suddenly doubled back and kicked Caesar in the leg.

"OW!" he howled.

Then, once he was down, Calvin punched him in the head.

"OUCH!"

Calvin glared at him.

"Just so you know, _I'm_ King of the Jungle," he growled.

And he left Caesar in heap on the ground.

* * *

Later, they were all sitting on the sidewalk outside of Andy and Sherman's house.

Socrates had decided to share his pile of food with them, and they were eating it right now.

"It's so weird how we all feel the need to fit in with certain people," Sherman sighed. "I guess I worked so hard at trying to impress them that I didn't realize they weren't worth impressing."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"This is gonna be one of those moral shows, isn't it?" he sighed.

"Eh, we gotta have a few every once in a while," Calvin relied, shrugging.

"Don't feel bad," said Andy. "We still took half their buffet, and I made off with some guy's Rolex."

"A successful night overall," Calvin agreed. "It's refreshing for people to be impressed by my inventions for awhile instead of setting up barricades in absolute terror like a bunch of overreacting tigers who can't pass a lion without arguing with it."

Hobbes simply jammed some more shrimp into his mouth.

"I don't see why so many people are so intent on being with each other in a club," Calvin continued. "The only club that makes any sense is _Chewing Magazines_ Bubble Gum Club."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"I never got gum," said Socrates between bites. "You can't swallow it. You're just gonna spit it out anyway. What's the point?"

Calvin glared at him.

"I refuse to dignify such a ludicrous question with an answer!" he grumbled.

Sherman sighed contentedly.

"Ah, my people," he said wistfully.

"Yesh," said Socrates. "Caviar Nibbler?"

"Ooh, nice!" said Sherman, taking it.

Socrates suddenly paused.

"Oop! It's the big one!" he said. "_**BELCH!**_"

Everyone started laughing.

**The End**

**Voice Actors:**

**Pamela Segall Adlon: **Calvin / Genius Cat  
**Tom Hanks: **Hobbes / Caesar / Andy's Dad  
**Ryan Stiles:** Socrates / Genius Dog  
**Andrew Lawrence: **Andy / Genius Boy  
**Colin Mochrie: **Sherman / Random Genius  
**Norman Lovett: **Random Genius  
**Robert Llewellyn:** Edgar Sinclair / Genius Duck

* * *

**Coming up next:** Chains 


	5. Chains

**Summary: **Calvin and Susie receive chain letters in the mail.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie_

**Chains**

It was a bright day in early August.

Everything was peaceful in the neighborhood of Calvin and Hobbes.

For the time being.

"Calvin, would you go get the mail for me, please?" Mom asked, looking up from a book she was reading.

Calvin, who was sitting on the couch next to her watching TV, looked up.

"Why?" He asked. "I'm not expecting anything in the mail."

Mom rolled her eyes.

"Just go, please." She sighed. "The mail truck is pulling up to our mailbox."

Calvin sighed.

He stood up from his chair, grumbling to himself, and grabbed Hobbes off the seat next to him.

"Wait no! The tiger's getting ready to pounce!!" Hobbes yelled, trying to get back to his seat, his eyes fixed on the TV.

"Come on," Calvin growled.

Just as the truck pulled away, Calvin and Hobbes stepped out on the front porch.

At that particular moment, Susie also stepped out of her house, next door.

Calvin ignored her as he walked forward with Hobbes draped around his shoulder, towards the mailbox.

Susie went to her mailbox, too.

"Hi, Calvin," She said, cheerfully.

Calvin ignored her, and opened the mailbox up.

Susie glared at him.

"I see your in a real good mood." She said, reaching into her box, and pulling out the mail.

"Yes, and your putting me in an even _better_ mood." Calvin grumbled.

Susie glared at him as she shifted through the mail.

Calvin did also.

"Bills, bills, magazine, catalogue, advertisement..." Susie listed to herself filing through it.

"Not for me, not for me, not for me, not for me..." Calvin listed to himself, also filing through the mail.

"Huh, this is odd." Susie said, suddenly, holding up an envelope. "This one's addressed to me."

"Not for me... not for me... not for me..." Calvin paused. "Hey! This one's for me!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Calvin and Susie began opening the envelopes.

Calvin took out a small piece of paper, and started reading it. Susie did also.

"Dear Calvin," He read to himself. "The following is a true story. Do you buy that?"

"...Five years ago, a man in eastern Colorado received this same letter and promptly misplaced it." Susie read to herself the same letter.

"...Unfortunately, this caused a chain reaction, and lead to him having devastatingly bad luck for the rest of his miserable little life." Calvin read.

"...He eventually went insane, and began investing in peanut butter mines." Susie read.

"...Don't let this happen to you." Calvin continued. "Forward this letter to ten people you know within 24 hours, and you will have happy, leprechaun goody-goody luck for the rest of your meaningless existence. Or for a while, at least."

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin and Susie stared at the letter for a long time.

Hobbes sat beside Calvin, quietly, waiting for someone to say something.

Finally, Susie spoke.

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life." She said, glaring at the letter.

Calvin looked up.

"You're not going to forward it?" He asked.

"Of course not!" Susie said. "Chain letters are just gimmicks from the freaks who made them, so they can see if their letters ever get back to them. It's bunch of junk!"

"Well..." Calvin said, quietly. "Bad luck, forever... That's a long time..."

"Well, here's how much I believe it." Susie said.

_RIIIIIIIIIP!!_

Calvin and Hobbes looked around.

Susie had ripped the letter right down the middle.

She then proceeded to rip up the rest of it, and threw it back into the mailbox.

"That's what I have to say about chain letters."

Calvin blinked.

Susie was getting ready to turn around to go back to the house, when suddenly...

_VROOOM!!!_

_SPLASH!!!_

"AAAUGH!!"

A large truck roared by, the wheels striking a mud puddle, and sending it flying up at Susie.

Calvin jumped.

Susie was now covered in mud.

"Ooooh!" She moaned, throwing some mud off her hands. "It's going to take me _hours_ to get all this out of my hair..."

Calvin's mouth dropped open.

Susie noticed.

"That doesn't have anything to do with the letter." She said, pulling some mud out of her hair. "That was a coincidence."

"Big coincidence." Calvin commented.

Susie ignored him.

"I'm not going to have bad luck, just because I didn't forward a stupid letter. I'm fine."

And with that, Susie turned around, and started walking back towards her house.

Suddenly, her foot struck a rock on the sidewalk.

"AAAUGGH!!" Susie screamed in alarm, tripping, and falling forward.

Calvin eyes popped open and his teeth gritted.

Susie lay there for a moment, muttering, then slowly began to get up.

"That had nothing to do with the letter," she said, sternly.

And with that, she walked back into her house, slamming the door behind her.

There was a pause.

Calvin turned to Hobbes.

"Uuuuuuh..." He began.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Oh come on, Calvin, don't tell me you're going to believe this stuff?" He demanded.

"You don't believe in it, either?" Calvin asked.

"No," Hobbes shook his head. "It's all just a bunch of junk. I say you should ignore it."

"But... what about what just happened to Susie...?" Calvin demanded. "She ripped her letter up and..."

"Calvin, call me a skeptic, but I seriously doubt it had anything to do with the letter." Hobbes said.

Calvin paused.

"I dunno..." He began, looking around, nervously. "Maybe I should ask someone."

"What? _I'm_ not someone?" Hobbes demanded.

"You know what I mean," Calvin said, rolling his eyes. "Someone highly intelligent. Someone who would know how to handle this situation."

Calvin eyes fell on a house several blocks down with a fancy satellite dish on it.

"Someone... LIKE SHERMAN!!" He shouted, suddenly.

Hobbes groaned.

"Oh come on, Hobbes!" Calvin said, enthusiastically. "Sherman's logical! The little rodent is bursting with knowledge!"

Hobbes crossed his arms, and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, very well," He grumbled.

"Oh man, my problems are solved!" Calvin said, grabbing Hobbes' arm, and rushing down the sidewalk with him. "Precious Hamster will defiantly know what to do!"

* * *

"I don't know." Sherman said.

Calvin stared at him.

"What do you _mean_, you don't know?" He demanded.

Sherman set the letter down on his desk, and turned to Calvin and Hobbes, who were standing in front of him in his lab.

"I mean I don't know." The hamster said. "I don't know what to think about chain letters."

"Why?" Calvin asked.

"Well, a lot of weird things have happened with them in the past." Sherman said. "Some of them, I know are just stupid prank letters that people mail for fun, yes, but then there are some that actually stay to their word."

"You mean..." Hobbes began.

"Yeah, there have been a few people have been experiencing bad luck when not forwarding the letters." Sherman nodded. "It's basically a 50 / 50 chance, so I suggest you do what it says."

"You think I should forward it to ten people?" Calvin demanded.

"I wasn't aware Calvin even _knew _that many people." Hobbes commented.

"I wouldn't take any chances." Sherman said.

"Oh come on," Hobbes scoffed. "You can't tell me that you believe this,"

"I don't," Sherman said. "I only go with what I see happening. Now get out of my lab!"

The hamster pointed at the EXIT door.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

Then, Calvin heaved a sigh, and started towards the door.

Hobbes glared at Sherman, and followed him.

"Come on, Calvin, you can't believe Vermin!" The tiger assured Calvin as they walked out. "The rat can't even keep track of his own inventions!"

"You're only saying this for the sake of disagreeing with him, aren't you?" Calvin growled, turning to Hobbes.

Hobbes blinked.

Before he could answer, Andy came walking up.

"Hi Calvin," He said. "Hobbes. How did your meeting with Sherman go?"

"Fine," Calvin said, quickly. "Andy, quick! If you got a chain letter mailed to you saying you were going die a horrible death if you didn't forward it, _WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!?!_"

Andy stared at Calvin, and Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Uuuuuh..." Andy began.

"Hypothetically, of course!" Calvin added, quickly.

Andy stared at the boy in confusion.

Calvin's eye twitched.

"I... don't really know, Calvin," Andy said, finally. "I've never really gotten a chain letter, before."

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

"Well, I don't know... I guess I'd forward it if I had too much time on my hands." Andy shrugged.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

Andy sighed.

"Look, I don't believe in them, if that's what your asking."

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

"Why are you staring at me?" Andy asked, unsurely.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

"OK, I wouldn't know what to do if I got a chain letter! I don't know!" Andy said.

Calvin blinked.

"Uh... thanks, Andy..." He said, slowly.

"Sure," Andy said. "Do you want to stick around? Mom's fixing dinner up in a minute."

"No, no, we had better get going." Calvin sighed. "Besides, I have some thinking to do."

There was a pause.

"You got a chain letter?" Andy asked.

Calvin glared at him.

"Who have you been talking to!" He demanded.

Andy rolled his eyes.

* * *

"Oooh man!" Calvin groaned, as he and Hobbes walked down the sidewalk. "What am I supposed to do? If I don't forward that letter before time's up, I _might_ have bad luck for the rest of my life!"

"I'm telling you, you should ignore it!" Hobbes said, sternly. "None of its true!"

"How do you know?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes paused.

"Well..." He began.

Just then, they walked up to Socrates' mansion.

Hobbes' eyes lit up.

"Here, why don't you ask Socrates!" He urged. "Being a master on pranks and hoaxes, he should know all about chain letters!"

Calvin pondered that for a moment.

"Alright," He decided. "Let's go see what Socrates has to say about it."

And so, very carefully, as to not set off one of Socrates' booby traps, Calvin and Hobbes made their way across the walk, towards Socrates' house.

Hobbes walked up to the door, checked for traps, and pushed his finger into the doorbell.

_DING, DING, DING, DING... DING... _DING..._**DONG!!**_

A musical, novelty, door bell ring rang out through the mansion

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"I can't stand that..." He growled.

There was a pause, in which Calvin and Hobbes waited behind the door.

Then, suddenly it swung wide open, revealing Socrates' grinning face.

"Cally! Hobbo! What a pleasure it is to see you on this wonderful day!" He shouted, cheerfully.

He stepped aside.

"_PLEASE, _come in!" He urged.

"Uh, we can't stay, Socrates," Hobbes said. "Calvin just wanted to ask your opinion."

"Very well!" Socrates said. "Shoot!"

"Socrates, when you receive chain letters in the mail," Calvin began. "What do you do with them?"

"You mean those pieces of paper threatening to produce bad luck to me and or my family if I don't forward it to ten people in a day?" Socrates asked, that same grin still plastered all over his face.

"Yeah." Calvin said, blandly.

"I copy them on my computer and send them off to about forty or fifty people!" The red tailed tiger announced.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

Hobbes groaned.

"Oh, Socrates! Don't tell me _you,_ of all people, believe in that stuff!" He moaned.

Socrates grinned.

"Who says I believe in it?" He questioned. "I only forward them for the sole purpose of driving people mad!!"

There was a pause.

Calvin and Hobbes sighed, heavily.

"Socrates, you're crazy," Calvin sighed.

Socrates grinned back at them.

"Yes, I know!" He said. "Anything else I can assist you with?"

"Socrates, have you _received _any chain letters, recently?" Calvin demanded. "And did you, by chance, send one copy off to _me?!_"

"No, actually, I haven't gotten a chain letter in little over a month, now," Socrates sighed. "Things have been pretty boring, without them."

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

"Socrates, you're _never _bored." Hobbes said.

"True!" Socrates grinned. "Well, I'm sure I've covered everything! Good luck with whatever it was you were doing!"

And with that, Socrates slammed the door in Calvin and Hobbes' faces.

_SLAAAMMM!!!_

Calvin glared after him.

"I don't trust him," He growled.

"Socrates didn't send the letter, Calvin," Hobbes sighed.

They stepped off the porch, and started back towards the sidewalk.

"I still think you should just get rid of it." Hobbes said. "Nothings going to come from it. It's just..."

Just then, Susie came walking up.

As she did, Hobbes quickly shut up.

Because, she looked really beat up.

Calvin stared at her.

Her hair was all messed up, there were rips in her clothes, she was missing one of her shoes, and she had a bad limp in her right leg.

"Uh... Susie?" He began.

Susie glared at him.

"What do you want, Calvin!" She demanded, angrily.

Calvin reeled back.

"Whoa! She's insane, again!!" He shouted in horror.

Hobbes and Susie rolled their eyes.

Susie sighed.

"I'm sorry, Calvin, I'm just not in a very good mood." She explained.

"Cool, I don't want to hear about it!" Calvin said.

Susie glared at him.

"Yes, you do!" She growled, dangerously.

"Let's hear your problems, Susie!" Calvin shouted, happily. "Nothing I love better, than people whining about their lives!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Susie sighed.

"Well, first I got chased by a bunch of stray dogs in town, then, right after escaping from them, I fell down into the sewer, then, when I got out, I realized the library was closed, so now I have an overdue book, then I got lost on my way home, somehow, and got stuck in some thorn bushes on the way, and I just realized that I'm late for dinner." She said.

Calvin stared at her.

"...The letter..." He said, quietly, his eyes growing wide.

Susie's eyes came up.

"Calvin, it was _not_ the letter! I'm _not_ having bad luck!" She said.

"Seems pretty bad, to me." Calvin said. "Would you call it, _good_ luck?"

"I don't call it luck at all!" Susie shouted.

"Right. Absolutely no luck, whatsoever." Calvin said.

"Get out of my way," Susie growled.

She pushed past Calvin, and stormed off towards her house.

Just as she rounded the corner, a wild teenager sped across the road in a red sedan, hitting another mud puddle.

_SPLASH!!!_

"AAAAUGH!!!!" Susie screamed.

Calvin stood in the sidewalk, staring ahead in sheer terror.

"Hobbes..." He began. "What do I do?"

"Throw the letter out!" Hobbes urged. "Susie's misfortunes have nothing to do with that chain letter."

Calvin's eyes went back and forth between Hobbes and then to the letter in his shaking hands.

He was totally stumped. Sherman suggested he forwarded it, Andy didn't know what to do with it, Socrates forwarded his just for the annoying purposes, Hobbes told him _not_ to forward it, and Susie was experiencing extreme bad luck, starting at when she ripped the letter up.

Calvin had no idea what he was going to do.

* * *

Calvin sat in his room at his desk. Hobbes was napping on the bed. Calvin was staring at the chain letter that sat before him.

"It's mocking me…," he whispered. "It's_ mocking_ me… It's _mocking…ME!_"

Dad entered.

"Hey, Calvin, have you—?"

"MOCKING, I TELL YOU!" Calvin screamed.

Dad stared at him for a moment.

"Uh…that's too bad," Dad said unsurely.

Calvin finally noticed him.

"Oh, hi, Dad," he said. "Sorry, I've just been flipping out over this chain letter. If I don't send it out by tomorrow, then I'll have bad luck and get killed!"

Dad snorted.

"Oh, Calvin, there's nothing to worry about," he said, placing a reassuring hand on Calvin's shoulder. "Chain letters are just harmless pranks! Only an immature jerk would send one out."

Calvin sighed.

"That's another problem. I don't know who sent it to me! Susie got one too, and she's been having a bad luck rain storm poured on her…and pummeling her and spitting on her and kicking her and throwing her off a cliff…"

"Look, Calvin, I'm sure it's just coincidence," Dad said. "It's nothing. Chain letters are just harmless pieces of paper!"

"Oh, are they?" Mom asked, coming up from behind. "Do you remember what happened to my cousin?"

"Dear…," Dad sighed, holding his forehead.

"What happened to your cousin?" Calvin asked.

"She got a chain letter. She promptly threw it away, and the very next day, she had a near-death experience with a juicer," Mom said, her arms folded.

Calvin stared at her.

Dad snorted. "That's just because she didn't read the label on the side about plungers."

"Calvin," Mom said, "you just fill it out, send it to ten people and be done with it, alright?"

"No, just throw it away," Dad said sternly.

"Dear, are you trying to kill our son?" Mom asked angrily.

"Don't do it, Calvin!"

"DO IT!"

"DON'T!"

"DO!"

"DON'T!"

"DO!"

"DON'T!"

"_STOP!_" Calvin screamed, jumping to the floor. "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART!"

And with that, he ran out the door.

There was a pause.

"I'm throwing out the juicer just in case," Mom said.

"Honey…," Dad sighed.

* * *

Calvin ran outside the house and looked around frantically.

"HELP ME!" he screamed. "VICTIM OF BAD KARMA OVER HERE! I NEED A PSYCHIC! I NEED A DECK OF CARDS! _I NEED A MAGIC EIGHT BALL!!_"

Scared out of his mind, Calvin ran down the sidewalk.

"HELP ME! HELP ME! I DON'T WANNA BE ATTACKED BY THIRTEEN BLACK CATS! I DON'T WANNA GET EATEN BY A JUICER! HELP!!"

Finally, Calvin crashed into a Stop Sign.

_WHAM!_

He got up off the ground.

"Oh no!" he wailed. "I'M GETTING A SNEAK PREVIEW!"

Then he remembered.

"But wait! I still have a chance! I must find ten people I know right away! _But how?!?_"

Then he spotted a phone booth. He immediately ducked inside and pulled out the phone book. As he flipped through the pages he frowned.

"Huh," he said. "Most of these people live trailer parks. Oh, the bad luck gets worse! I LIVE IN REDNECK COUNTY!!"

* * *

Hobbes paced back and forth behind Calvin at his desk.

"So…you've decided to send out to ten people?" he asked.

"Yeah. It's a shame that cop pulled me out of that phone booth. This is gonna be harder than I thought. Do you know how many people I actually know?"

Hobbes started to answer, but Calvin stopped him.

"How many actually have an address?"

Hobbes then stopped to think about it.

"Uh…," he said, unsurely.

Calvin put his head in his hands and sighed.

"I'm dead meat," he moaned.

Hobbes got up and looked at the list.

"Well, let's see what you have here," he said. He began reading it. "Calvin." He stared back at Calvin. "You could only come up with yourself?"

Calvin grinned sheepishly. "Mine's the only address I can ever remember. We live in a very ambiguous neighborhood. The phone book was practically worthless."

"Can you think of anyone else? Maybe we can find some stuff out later."

Calvin thought for a moment.

"Well, I could always send one to Andy. He's my friend. He'd understand," Calvin said, writing his name down.

Hobbes nodded.

"Who else?"

"Hmmm… There are always Mom and Dad," Calvin said, continuing to write. "I already know _their_ addresses."

"Good, good."

Then Calvin realized something.

"Hobbes! I think this could work! I mean, let's say that the superstitions are true! This is a chance for some world-class revenge!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Calvin, it's ridiculous! There's no such thing as bad luck _or_ good luck!"

"Well, we'll soon find out!" Calvin said, grinning evilly. "I'm sending one to Miss Wormwood. We'll know for sure if there's no class on Friday. Three day weekend!"

Hobbes sighed.

"Alright, who else?"

"Well, Moe, obviously, so that makes five… Rosalyn makes six… Hmmm…who else do I hate?"

"Why not send one to that weird kid with the buck teeth?" Hobbes asked.

"What for?"

"For being so vague!"

Calvin shrugged, and he added "Weird buck-toothed kid" to the list.

"Okay, that's seven. I could have eight if I send one to Uncle Max. I'll just ask Dad for his address."

"You don't hate Uncle Max," Hobbes reminded him.

"Yeah, but I'm running low on ideas."

Then Calvin turned back to his sheet of paper.

"Two more, two more…," he mumbled. "Hmmm… Oh! Mr Spittle! That's nine!"

"Who's going to be number ten?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin paused to think for a moment.

Then he got an evil grin.

* * *

Later that day, Calvin pulled out the Mini-Duplicator and aimed it at the letter.

_**BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK!**_

"There!" he said. "Ten copies, all set for action! Now I just have to mail them! Hobbes? Bring me the phone book!"

There was a pause.

Hobbes didn't move from the bed.

"Hobbes? Bring me the phone book!" Calvin repeated.

Still no movement.

"Hobbes…?" Calvin asked, finally looking at him.

Hobbes had fallen asleep.

Calvin grumbled.

"Fine, don't serve me! See if I care!"

Grumbling, Calvin finally had the good sense to pick up the MTM and open up all the files.

"Pull up all the files on the following people," Calvin ordered, pulling out the sheet of paper with the list of people on it.

A hologram shot out of the MTM.

_Access denied._

Calvin stared at it.

"What? What are you talking about?"

_What are you, blind? Access denied. Or do you need the brail hologram?_

Calvin glared at it.

"Don't give me that!" he grumbled. "You know it's me! I'm Calvin! _Give me access!_"

_Access denied._

"GIVE ME ACCESS!!"

_Access denied. Go away and don't come back._

Calvin growled angrily and shoved the MTM aside.

"Why's it doing this?!" he grumbled.

Then he began to worry again.

"Oh no!" he gasped. "What if it means that the bad luck is setting in? They fates must have decided that I won't make it in time, and so, they're bombarding me with bad luck!"

Then he had a look of determination.

"Ha!" he cried. "The fates don't frighten me! I'll rescue my good luck, or get a lot of paper cuts trying! In fact, this looks like a job for…"

Calvin ducked into the closet.

After a moment, he jumped back out.

"STUPENDOUS MAN!!" he cheered.

Calvin shot out of the house, his cape blowing in the wind.

Well, not really wind. More like fast-moving air.

Calvin ran out of the house and looked around with his hands on his hips.

"The ever heroic Stupendous Man has been trapped in the evil clutches of The Fate Groups! They have a hypnotic power over our hero that _must_ be broken! Our hero must find all ten members of the Group in order to restore order to him and then return to the job of defending the galaxies!"

Calvin ran off into the evening.

* * *

Hobbes was in the middle of a nice long nap. As he slept, he started to roll around in his dream, purring and sniffing.

At that moment, he heard a low rumbling sound coming from outside that woke him up.

"Zzzz… Huh? Is Calvin's Dad using the toilet again?" he mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

Then he looked outside.

Susie was walking down the sidewalk.

Well, walking wouldn't exactly describe it properly. It was more of a limp. Plus, she was added by a crutch.

Right now, her hair was a mess, her clothes were ripped, she was wearing an eye patch, and her left arm was in a sling.

As she was limping, Candace walked up.

"Susie, are you okay?" she asked.

"Oh…I'm fine…," she moaned. "I just slipped on a freshly waxed floor, part of the ceiling fell on me, I got smacked in the eye by a runaway hockey puck, I got hit in the face by a falling branch, and my bicycle got smashed by a giant rock!"

"Wow…," said Candace. "Are you okay?"

Susie glared at her.

"Ask me that again. I dare you," she growled.

Candace backed away.

"I'm sorry! I was just checking!"

Susie grumbled.

"I can't believe the day I've had," she muttered.

"Well, what'd you do? Throw out a chain letter?"

Susie's eye popped open and stared at her.

"IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!" she insisted. "IT'S JUST COINCIDENCE! THERE'S _NO SUCH THING AS LUCK!!_"

Candace began to back away.

"Susie, you're scaring me," she whimpered.

"_I'M FINE! SHUT UP!!_"

Just then, a truck drove by.

_VROOOOMM!!_

_SPLASH!_

"AUGH!" Susie screamed.

When the truck disappeared, Candace was nice and dry, but Susie was drenched.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" Susie shrieked.

"Me neither," said Candace. "There wasn't a puddle there."

Susie growled and screamed and limped slowly home.

Candace shook her head and walked in the opposite direction.

Back at the window, Hobbes just stared, having watched the whole thing.

Then he glanced at the chain letter sitting on the desk.

"It's just a letter, right?" he gulped. "I mean, it's not like its _evil_ or anything, right? Heh, heh."

He continued to stare at the letter.

"You're not convincing anyone, you know?" he continued, now talking to the letter. "You're just playing with peoples' emotions! You tug and pull at our superstitions until we suddenly find ourselves wrapped in them, unable to escape!"

Then he realized what he was doing.

"I'm talking to a piece of paper!" he cried. "Is this what a chain letter does? It drives people insane?! I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

Hobbes exploded from the house and shot down the street as fast as he could.

He finally reached Socrates' mansion.

_DING, DING, DING, DING... DING..._ DING... _**DONG!!**_

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

After a brief pause, Socrates finally opened the door.

"Hey, Hobbo," he said cheerfully. "What's going—?"

Hobbes immediately grabbed Socrates.

"EVIL CHAIN LETTER!" he shouted.

Socrates stood there for a moment.

"So, how was your day?" he asked casually.

"It's the chain letter!" Hobbes wailed. "It's caused me to go insane! I actually _talked_ to it!"

Socrates finally pried Hobbes off of him.

"Hobbo, relax," he said, patting his shoulder. "It's just a piece of paper! It's not like it's going to suddenly spring to life and attack you."

Hobbes nodded nervously.

"But…but what if it… What if it's true? What if a chain letter really_ can _cause bad luck?!"

Socrates simply grinned.

"Well, we'll soon find out, now won't we?" he said. "Calvin should have until mail time tomorrow to get it sent out."

"Do you think he'll make it?" Hobbes asked.

"STUPENDOUS MAN, AWAY!!"

They both looked up and saw Calvin run past.

"OUR STUPENDOUS HERO HAS ATTACKED HALF OF THE FATE GROUP! ONLY FIVE MORE TO GO! UP, UP AND _AWAY!!_"

Calvin disappeared down the street.

There was a long pause.

"Huh," said Socrates. "I'd stock up on lucky charms, if I were you."

Hobbes continued to watch Calvin run.

* * *

That night, Hobbes was sitting in bed, waiting for Calvin to get back.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and Calvin ran inside.

"Our hero is triumphant!" he announced. "With the Fate Group finally identified, our stupendous hero may now change back to his alter-ego, mild-mannered Calvin!"

Calvin ducked into the closet, and then came back out in his normal attire.

"How'd it go?" Hobbes asked.

"Didn't you just hear Stupendous Man?!" Calvin demanded.

Hobbes glared at him.

"Oh. Well, it went okay. I think Rosalyn was mad when I destroyed her mom's rose garden," he said.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Okay," said Calvin. "Let's get started! I got all the envelopes I need! Let's get a jump on this."

Hobbes picked up a pencil and started writing out the addresses Calvin had gathered.

* * *

Late in the night, Calvin and Hobbes snuck out of the house with the ten envelopes.

"Okay, hopefully, we can put an end to this madness," he said.

"Yeah," Hobbes agreed. "Who would've thought that a letter would cause this much trouble."

As they were putting the chain letters in the mailbox, they noticed something in the sky.

"What's that?" Calvin asked.

"Looks like a shooting star!" said Hobbes. "Make a wish!"

Calvin immediately started wishing.

Then they noticed something odd.

"That's odd," said Hobbes. "It seems to be coming closer."

Calvin then began to realize something.

"It's not a shooting star! It's a meteor!" he wailed.

"RUN!" Hobbes shrieked.

They both ran towards the house.

But as they ran, the meteor suddenly struck…

…the house next door.

They stared at it in shock.

"Isn't that Susie's room?" Hobbes asked.

"AAAAAUUUUUGGGHHH!!!" they heard Susie scream.

"Evidently," said Calvin.

* * *

A few days later, Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were fooling around in the front yard.

Next door at the Derkins house, construction workers were trying to repair the hole in the house.

Just then Andy walked up with Sherman on his shoulder.

"Say, Calvin," he said, glaring at him.

"Yes?" Calvin asked innocently.

"Care to explain this?" he asked, holding up the chain letter.

Calvin grinned.

"Eh, don't worry about it," he said. "Just send it to ten relatives you can't stand and be done with it! You'll benefit from it!"

"Yeah," said Hobbes. "Ever since Calvin sent out that chain letter, he's been benefitting like crazy."

"Yep," said Socrates. "Just yesterday, I pulled a prank on him, and he landed in the back of a truck."

"How's that good luck?" asked Sherman.

"It was the ice cream truck!" said Calvin.

Andy sighed and looked at the letter.

"Well, I guess I can finally get some revenge on my little sister," he sighed.

"_There_ you go!" said Calvin.

Just then, the door next door swung open.

Susie came staggering out.

Calvin and Andy stared at her.

She looked about the same as before, but now she also had a bandaged head.

"Uh, Susie…?" Calvin asked.

"I FIGURED IT OUT!" she shouted.

"Figured what out?" asked Andy.

"I have an inner-ear infection!" she cried. "It threw me off-balance!"

Calvin and Andy exchanged glances.

"It had nothing to do with the letter!" she continued, opening the mailbox.

But when she pulled out her mail, she immediately found another chain letter.

"What the…?" she asked. She looked up at Calvin.

Calvin simply grinned.

"I'm giving you another chance, Susie," he explained. "I figured after all you've been through, you deserve it."

Susie stared at the letter. Then she glared at him.

"I'll think about it," she grumbled, sticking it in her pocket.

Calvin could only chuckle.

"So how're the repairs to your house coming?" Andy asked.

"It's fine," Susie said, walking away. "I just can't believe some kid throwing a rock at it could do so much damage."

Calvin stared.

"Susie, it was a meteor," he said.

"THEY CAN'T PROVE THAT!" she shouted. "NASA IS STILL RUNNING TESTS ON IT!"

And she staggered away.

Calvin simply rolled his eyes.

**The End**

**Voice Work:**

**Pamela Segall Adlon: **Calvin  
**Tom Hanks: **Hobbes  
**Dakota Fanning: **Susie  
**Bill Murray: **Dad  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt: **Mom  
**Ryan Stiles: **Socrates  
**Andrew Lawrence: **Andy  
**Colin Mochrie: **Sherman  
**Lauren Tom: **Candace

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Mirror rorriM 


	6. Mirror rorriM

**Summary: **After an invention accident, Calvin and Hobbes and their interdimensional counterparts get switched.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by 321gniws and Eidodleifrag_

**Mirror rorriM**

"HA HA!!!" Brainstorm screeched, jumping forward towards Calvin. "SURRENDER, CALVIN!!! _YOU CAN NOT POSSIBLY DEFEAT ME!!!_"

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Frank, he's been beating you up for the last fifteen minutes," Jack said, who was leaning against Calvin's closet, drinking a Sprite.

"SHUT UP, JACK!!" Brainstorm spat. "AND MY NAME IS _**DR BRAINSTORM!!!**_ BRAINSTORM, DANG IT!! _BRAINSTORM!!_"

Jack rolled his eyes.

Calvin and Dr Brainstorm were engaged in another battle for the world. Sort of. Brainstorm had supposedly invaded Calvin's house, while his parents weren't there, and was currently attempting to kill Calvin and Hobbes inside their bedroom, so that they would stop 'trying to overthrow him'.

So far, he had accomplished none of that.

"SERVANT RAY!! DEFEAT THEM!!!" Brainstorm screamed at the top of his lungs, whipping his Servant Ray out.

The gun remained silent.

Calvin heaved a deep sigh, and Hobbes, who was sitting on Calvin's bed, rolled his eyes.

Brainstorm blinked.

"OK, then, DO NOT defeat them!!" He shouted.

_ZAAAAAAP!!_

Calvin took one step to his right, and the blast hit the carpet, instead.

Brainstorm growled, and his eyes narrowed.

"WOULD YOU QUIT DOING THAT!!!!" He screamed. "JACK!! MAKE HIM STOP DOING THAT!!!!"

"Stop doing that." Jack said, not even looking up.

"RRRRRRRRGH!!!!" Brainstorm shouted, holding his head in frustration.

He turned back around, and prepared to shoot another blast at Calvin.

His eyes popped open.

They had vanished.

"They're gone!!" Brainstorm shouted.

"Uh huh." Jack said.

The mad scientist whirled around to Jack.

"QUICK!!! JACK!!! USE YOUR DNA TRACKING DEVICE TO LOCATE THEM!!! _AND HURRY, FIRST CHANCE YOU GET!!!!!_"

Jack placed the straw into his mouth, and took another sip.

He pointed at Calvin's door, without even looking at Brainstorm.

"_EX_CELLENT!!! PREPARE TO DIE SHARP HEADED CHILD!!!!"

Brainstorm then rushed out of Calvin's bedroom, laughing like a lunatic.

There was a pause.

Calvin crawled out from under his bed, followed shortly by Hobbes.

"Thanks, Jack." Calvin grinned.

"Mmm-hmm," Jack yawned, checking his watch. "Why don't you just go beat him, now? I have a show coming on in ten minutes."

"Can do." Hobbes nodded.

Calvin pulled his Transmogrifier Gun out of his pocket, and he and Hobbes rushed out of the bedroom.

Jack took another sip from his Sprite.

"This is the worst lemonade I've ever tasted in my life," He commented, looking at the cup.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes looked over the balcony, by the stairs.

Brainstorm was in the living room, holding his Servant Ray out in front of him, and searching the place.

Oh, and he was screaming, too.

"COME OUT, CALVIN!! WHERE ARE YOU!!! GET OUT HERE SO I CAN DESTROY YOU!! THAT'S AN ORDER!!! WHERE ARE YOU?! _I DEMAND TO KNOW!!!!!!_"

"Oh, Fraaaaaaaaank!" Calvin shouted, waving his hand at the scientist.

Brainstorm looked up.

"THERE YOU ARE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!" He shouted, angrily. "DOESN'T MATTER THOUGH, BECAUSE NOW YOU WILL BE DESTROYED!!! " There was a pause. "_**AND IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!!!**_"

Calvin and Hobbes rolled their eyes.

Brainstorm took his Servant Ray, and pulled the trigger.

_KA-BOOM!!!_

Calvin and Hobbes jumped backwards as the blast hit the ceiling.

"STAY RIGHT THERE!" Brainstorm ordered. "I'll be right up. THEN YOU WILL DIEEEEEE!!!!"

He rushed over to stairs, and began running up them.

"OK," Calvin said, setting the Transmogrifier Gun to the laser setting. "I'll take care of Frank, here. You tell Jack to get the Brainstorm Rocket up here, and we'll blast these two back to Yellowstone." 

"Gotchya!" Hobbes said, doing a solute.

He leaped to his feet, and ran towards Calvin's bedroom door.

At that moment, Brainstorm reached the top step.

"HEY!!" He screamed. "STAY WHERE YOU ARE!!! STOP!!! HALT!!!"

He held his Servant Ray up, and began firing wild shots at the tiger.

Hobbes dove into Calvin's bedroom, and the door slammed behind him.

Brainstorm growled, and turned to Calvin, who was still setting everything up on the Transmogrifier Gun.

"THERE YOU ARE!!!" He screamed, jabbing a finger at Calvin. "I'LL TEACH YOU TO TRY AND OVERTHROW ME!!!!"

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Overthrow you from what?" He demanded.

Brainstorm ignored him, and whipped his Servant Ray up.

"SERVANT RAY!!! _DO NOT_ DESTROY CALVIN!!!" He screeched.

A blast of electricity exploded from the tip of Brainstorm's gun, and shot for Calvin.

At the same time, Calvin leaped to his feet and pulled the trigger on his Transmogrifier Gun.

A burst of red exploded from the tip of the water pistol, and shot for Brainstorm.

The two blasts met each other.

_**BOOOOM!!!!**_

Calvin and Brainstorm were both blasted off their feet, as the two energy rays exploded outward.

The explosion however did more than just that.

The two blasts had mixed together, and were now heading in one direction.

The bathroom.

The blast shot right through the door, and collided with the mirror inside.

The mirror seemed to absorb the blast, and then suddenly, as if it been turned to water, it began rippling.

This caused a chain reaction.

Suddenly, all the mirrors in the bathroom began rippling.

Hobbes was standing at Calvin's window, watching Jack start the Brainstorm rocket up.

Suddenly, the mirror above Calvin's bed began shuddering ever so slightly.

Hobbes didn't notice, however.

Just then, Brainstorm burst out of Calvin's house.

He was covered in ash and soot, and his lab coat was ripped.

"JACK! OPEN UP THE ROCKET!!! THEY'RE FORCES ARE TOO POWERFUL!!!! WE HAVE TO BACK TO THE LAB AND DEVELOP A NEW PLAN OF ACTION!!!!" He shrieked, his arms flailing everywhere.

"Whatever." Jack said, pushing a button, and allowing the beat up scientist in.

There was a loud humming noise, and dust began going everywhere, and suddenly Brainstorm's rocket lifted off the ground, rose above Calvin's house, then blasted off at light speed towards Yellowstone.

Hobbes watched them go.

There was a pause.

Calvin walked inside.

"Nothing like a good Brainstorm battle to really get our day going." Calvin grinned, sitting down on his bed.

"Yeah, I don't know what we'd do without the guy." Hobbes nodded.

"Well, I don't know about you, but some of that dust got in my mouth from that fight." Calvin said, standing up. "So, I'm going to wash my mouth out in the bathroom."

"Very well." Hobbes yawned

Calvin walked out of his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Neither he nor Hobbes noticed that there was a face peeking out from Calvin's mirror.

Oops.

* * *

Calvin poured some alcohol-free Listerine into its bottle cap, and put the bottle down.

He poured the bottle cap into his mouth, threw his head back, and began gargling with it.

He did this for about twenty seconds.

Then, he spat the Listernine down the drain.

He stood up, and grinned at himself in the mirror.

"There," He said. "My substitute for brushing my teeth,"

Huh boy...

Calvin put the bottle away and prepared to leave when he noticed something odd.

Odd in fact that his reflection had wide, blood shot eyes.

Calvin put the bottle back, and examined his reflection up and down.

He squinted his eyes.

The reflection didn't.

Calvin held his hand up over his head.

The reflection didn't.

It just stood there in the mirror, motionless, staring at Calvin with its wide unblinking red eyes.

Calvin stared back at it.

Then, he chuckled.

"I get it." He said.

He turned around, as if he was going to leave.

Then, he quickly spun back around to it, and stuck his tongue out at it, and rolled one eye into the back of his head.

Then, he flung his arms over his head, and began waving them, frantically.

Then, he began hopping around in circles.

Then, he used his fingers to draw his eyelids back, and he grinned at the reflection.

Then, he placed his hands to his cheeks, and brought them downward, causing his eyelids to go over his eyes.

The reflection remained motionless.

Calvin glared at it.

"Well, your no fun," He growled.

The reflection stared at him.

Then, suddenly, it lunged forward.

It reached right through the mirror, and grabbed Calvin's head.

"AAAAAUGH!!!!" Calvin screamed, as he was yanked head first into the mirror.

* * *

Hobbes looked up from the comic book he was reading.

He was sitting on Calvin's bed, right under the mirror.

"Calvin?" He asked, putting the book down.

There was no reply.

"Calvin was that you?"

Nothing.

Hobbes cut his eyes from side to side.

Then, he jumped off the bed, and started towards the door.

He peeked into the hallway, and looked around.

Then, he stepped forward, and moved towards the bathroom.

Very slowly, he opened the door, and looked inside.

"Calvin...?" He asked, looking around.

There was nobody in the bathroom.

Hobbes scanned the room.

Suddenly, all the mirrors began rattling, wildly, and ripples spread out from them.

Hobbes stared at them in total shock.

Then, he started backing away.

He rushed out into the hallway, then back into Calvin's room.

He looked, around frantically, then dove into the bed.

There, he spun around, and faced Calvin's door.

The sound of footsteps reached Hobbes' ears.

Hobbes began backing up into the very back of the bed, and against the mirror above it.

Suddenly, a shadow loomed over the bedroom door, and the footsteps got louder.

Hobbes' eyes grew wider with every step.

Whatever it was that had attacked Calvin was now coming towards Hobbes.

Hobbes began shivering.

Suddenly, the footsteps stopped.

There was a long moment of silence.

Hobbes cut his eyes from side to side.

The shadow over Calvin's door had vanished.

Hobbes heaved a sigh of relief.

Suddenly, something orange with wide, unblinking red eyes burst from the mirror Hobbes was leaning against, and grabbed Hobbes' head.

Hobbes' eyes burst open. He opened his mouth to scream, but it just died in his throat.

The creature then retracted back inside the mirror.

Hobbes flipped over the bedframe, and fell inside with it.

"PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!!" Hobbes begged. He had slammed his eyes shut, and was currently curled up in a ball, shaking. "I'M VERY HIGH IN CHOLESTEROL!!!"

"Come on, I'm not going to eat you. That's disgusting. I hate meat!" Came a voice.

Slowly, Hobbes' eyes came open, and he looked around.

He was sitting in the exact same place he was at before on Calvin's bed. Except for two small differences. Everything in the room had been reversed. Whatever had been on the right side of the room before was now on the left side. It was really weird. AND, there was another Hobbes standing over the real Hobbes.

This new Hobbes had only one physical difference between him and the real Hobbes: He had bloodshot eyes.

Hobbes stared at him with wide eyes.

"Wh–who are you?" He squeaked, shaking.

"I am Sebboh." The red eyed tiger said, proudly. "I have brought you from your world to mine."

Hobbes stared at him.

"Why?" He asked.

"I'll get to that, later," Sebboh said, turning around, and jumping off the bed. "Nivlac, where are you?"

"I'm here," Came Calvin's voice.

Hobbes looked up.

"Well get in here! I got Hobbes!"

There was a moment of silence, then in walked two Calvins.

One of them had wide bloodshot eyes.

Calvin was still a little shaken from being yanked inside a mirror, but otherwise, looked fine.

"There you are." Sebboh said. "And you have the Calvin fellow with you?"

"Yes, as far as I can tell." Nivlac said, turning to Calvin.

"OK, I think an explanation is in order!" Calvin demanded, glaring at Nivlac and Sebboh. "Who the heck _are_ you people and where are we?!"

Sebboh chuckled, evilly.

"You see, that's the difference between you and Nivlac." He said. "That dumb kid would never demand for that!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Since you asked so, ruthlessly, I suppose we can spare a couple minutes to explain." Sebboh pointed at the mirror before him. "That blast combined from you and that Brainstorm fellow hit your mirror in the bathroom, correct?"

Calvin blinked.

"Uh, well, I guess so. I didn't really pay much attention to it." He considered.

"Well, that's not _all_ it did," Nivlac growled.

Calvin looked at his interdimensional counterpart, nervously.

"That blast forced a portal from our universe to yours open!" Sebboh said, dangerously.

Calvin turned to Sebboh.

"Uh, you guys aren't... evil, are you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Evil is such a strong word," Nivlac said, patting Calvin's shoulders. "We prefer the term _dark._"

Calvin and Hobbes stared at them.

"So, _yes_, then." Hobbes said.

Nivlac and Sebboh rolled their eyes.

Just then, the sound of a door opening and closing emitted from the mirror above Nivlac and Sebboh's bed.

"CALVIN, WE'RE HOME!" Mom called from the mirror. "COME HELP US WITH THE GROCERIES!!"

"Oops, there's our cue." Sebboh said, turning to the mirror.

"Wait a minute...," Calvin began. "_What?_"

"We're going to your world," Sebboh grinned, evilly.

"Why?" Hobbes asked. "What are you going to do?"

"We're _evil_, what do you think we're going to do?" Nivlac demanded, shrugging.

"Oh," Hobbes nodded.

There was a pause.

"So.." Calvin said. "Red eyes?"

Sebboh and Nivlac nodded.

"We got soap in them during our showers." Sebboh said.

"Ah," Calvin nodded.

"It's still burning," Nivlac whined, rubbing his eyes.

And with that, Sebboh turned and started for the mirror.

"Hold on a minute!" Calvin yelled, holding a hand out. "What about us?"

"You wait here." Sebboh said.

"Oh come on!" Calvin said, rolling his eyes. "If that mirror's been turned into a portal, then we're just going to crawl back through it when your in."

"How very untrue," Sebboh said, turning around, and facing Calvin. "You see, that blast wasn't powerful enough. This portal, as well in the one in the bathroom, are closing in twenty seconds."

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged nervous glances.

"Then... How are we supposed to get back?" Hobbes asked, nervously.

"Who says your getting back?" Sebboh laughed, evilly.

And with that, he dove through the mirror.

Nivlac stood by the mirror for a second.

Then, turned around, and began walking in the other direction.

Sebboh burst back inside, and grabbed Nivlac's shirt.

"Get in here." He growled.

"OK," Nivlac sighed.

He muttered to himself, then leaped through the mirror.

Just as the portal was closed up.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged terrified glances.

Ho boy...

* * *

Nivlac and Sebboh observed their surroundings.

"It reminds me of home," Nivlac said.

Sebboh rolled his eyes.

"Well, this _is_ our home now," he said. "We'll just have to get used to it."

"CALVIN! WE NEED HELP WITH THE GROCERIES!" Mom shouted.

There was a pause.

Sebboh nudged Nivlac.

"Oh! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" Nivlac shouted.

"Okay, while we wait for all that soap to get out of our eyes, we need to wear these to disguise them," Sebboh said, pulling out to small items.

"What are they?" asked Nivlac.

"Contact lenses, they'll reduce the swelling."

Nivlac took the contacts and carefully put them in his eyes.

Then he cautiously walked downstairs.

Mom and Dad were putting groceries away.

"_There_ you are," Dad said. "We need you to get the remaining groceries out the car."

"Yes, Dad," Nivlac replied, and he quickly ran outside.

Mom and Dad were surprised.

"What, no argument?" Dad asked. "I was prepared to give the speech about building character."

Nivlac then reentered, carrying the groceries with no problem.

"Thank you, Calvin," Dad said. "You're really building character!"

Nivlac smiled.

"Ah, character is really good for me," he said.

Dad rolled his eyes.

"Oh sure, bombard me with sarcasm," Dad muttered.

"But I wasn't! I believe in taking the safe way and building character always helps that!"

Mom and Dad stared at him.

"Uh…sure," said Mom. "Now go do your homework."

"Right away, Mom!" Nivlac replied, and he ran upstairs.

There was an awkward pause in the kitchen.

"I'm going to get out the child psychology books," Mom said.

"Oh, sure, like those actually _help,_" Dad replied.

* * *

Back in the mirror universe, Calvin and Hobbes were pacing around the room.

"We've gotta think of something!" Calvin complained. "Who _knows _what it's like over here?!"

"Actually, we should," Hobbes said. "Everyone and everything is backwards."

Calvin thought for a bit.

"Come on. We're going downstairs."

"Why?"

"Well, since our parents are essentially useless in our universe, the parents in this universe should be able to help us," Calvin explained.

"Sounds logical," said Hobbes.

Calvin and Hobbes quickly scurried downstairs.

They emerged in a backwards version of their living room.

Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch watching television. Dad was flicking through the channels.

"Man, this is boring!" he said. "There is nothing _good_ on! I wish Nivlac would buy us a new TV!"

"I wonder what's for dinner," Mom added. "I'm going to try and steal some more cookies before Nivlac and Sebboh get back from their room."

Mom quietly tiptoed out of the living room.

Calvin and Hobbes stared.

"Well, that was weird," Hobbes said.

"Not in _this_ universe," said Calvin.

Calvin quietly approached Dad.

"Excuse me, Dad?" he asked.

Dad looked down at him.

"Nivlac, we _need_ a new TV!" he complained. "Why can't you buy us a new one?! And don't say because watching reruns builds character! It doesn't! It just builds up frustration!"

Calvin stared at him.

"_Me_ buy a new TV?" he asked.

"Well, sure, _you're_ the one with a job!"

Calvin looked back at Hobbes.

Hobbes motioned for him to continue.

Calvin looked back at Dad.

"Uh… Don't talk like that, Dad!" Calvin said, trying to imitate his father. "It's bad enough to have _one_ TV! The Stone Age is a far more appropriate age to live in! You know why? Because cavemen were out there everyday, getting their own food and living off the land!"

Dad moaned.

"Let's not start this again, Nivlac! I'm sorry I even bothered with you," he said, sinking lower into the seat.

Calvin simply grinned at his handling of the situation.

"That's better. And sit up straight! You'll ruin your posture!"

And he walked away to find Hobbes.

Hobbes was in the kitchen, trying to see what they had to eat. It was all basically a mirror version of their kitchen. Everything was the same, just reversed.

Then he caught a glimpse of Mom eating a giant pile of cookies very sloppily.

Hobbes stared at her.

"Mirror Universe…," he reminded himself.

Hobbes approached her.

"_**BELCH!**_" Mom said, patting her belly.

Hobbes glared.

"Excuse me, but what do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

Mom jumped.

"Oh! Sebboh! I didn't hear you coming! I mean, I was just in here with Dad, and he said he wanted the cookies, so I had to stop him, and I—"

"Save it!" Hobbes said, holding a hand up. "I don't want those cookies eaten by anyone! They are there for display purposes only!"

"But Sebboh—"

"No buts!" Hobbes said, trying to get into character. "You go and wait for dinner! We're having eggplant casserole again!"

"Ew!" Mom gagged. "That stuff looks like compost!"

"Don't talk to me like that! Get out!" Hobbes said.

Mom rolled her eyes and left.

Hobbes watched her leave, and then began to clean up the mess just in case someone was watching.

"That little brat…," he muttered.

Calvin entered.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Apparently, our roles have been switched in this household," Hobbes said. "In this house, _we're_ the parents, and _they're _a combination of you."

Calvin sighed.

"Hobbes, we can't stay here. We've got to find a way back into our universe!"

"How do we do that?"

"Well, we got in because of the Transmogrifier Gun and the Servant Ray, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, it should work the same way here! We have the Transmogrifier Gun that Sebboh made in _this_ universe. We just have to find Dr Brainstorm's opposite and get his Servant Ray!"

"How do we do that?"

Calvin immediately pulled out a map of the Mirror Earth he had found.

"We go to Krap Lanoitan Enotswolley," Calvin said. "Or, the Mirror Yellowstone National Park!"

"I see," Hobbes said.

They raced back upstairs to their room and immediately found the box.

"You know, the box works perfectly in _our_ universe," Calvin commented. "I just hope it works in this one."

Hobbes immediately backed away from the box.

Calvin sighed.

"It's our only chance," he said. "We have to at least _try_."

Hobbes glanced at the box nervously, and then put his goggles on.

Once they were in the box, Calvin activated the engines, and flew the box out the window.

"So far, so good," Hobbes said, looking over the edge.

* * *

Nivlac was busily doing homework while Sebboh was working on Calvin's inventions.

"So, are you happy now?" Sebboh asked, fiddling with the Transmogrifier Gun.

"Oh, yes!" Nivlac said happily. "We finally have lives that suit us! I can finally go to school like a normal adult! I can have an easier life and go on more camping trips! It's so refreshing to have a father who likes the same things I do! I just feel so—"

"_**SHUT UP!**_" Sebboh shouted.

Nivlac gulped and sat down.

"Yes, sir," he muttered.

Sebboh leaned back tossed Calvin's inventions aside.

"This is the life," he sighed. "All the tuna in the world I can eat, a life of no responsibilities, no more making sure your parents behave themselves, and my plans to dominate a planet just got easier!"

Nivlac glanced at him.

"You're still gonna share your wealth with me, right?" he asked.

"Oh, sure, whatever," Sebboh said, waving him off.

Nivlac then returned to the homework.

Sebboh rolled his eyes.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes landed the box in a field at Mirror Yellowstone.

"Okay," said Calvin. "This may prove to be an actual challenge. While the lab in our universe is easy to find, this one might be a bit more difficult."

"Uh, actually…," Hobbes said, tapping him on the shoulder.

"Huh?"

Calvin looked in the way he was looking.

It was the same lab that was poorly hidden, just reversed.

"Oh."

Calvin and Hobbes approached the lab door and carefully opened it. As they entered, they searched for Dr Brainstorm.

They were surprised at how easy it was.

They found him in an easy chair watching stuff on a giant TV. He was eating popcorn and drinking soda pop.

"Huh," he said, sipping his Sprite. "This is the worst tasting lemonade I've ever had."

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Uh…excuse me?" Calvin called.

Brainstorm looked up.

"Oh, hi," he said. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Actually, we're not Nivlac and Sebboh," said Hobbes.

Mirror Brainstorm stared at them for a while.

"Oh, I take it you would be mirror versions of them?"

Calvin was surprised.

"How'd you now that?" he asked.

"Well, it's something they've been trying to do for years now. I take it they finally cracked."

"Yeah, sure," Calvin snorted. "Actually, _we_ cracked it, and _they _mooched off of us, and are now living in our universe living our lives!"

"I see," Mirror Brainstorm said. "Well, I suppose that introductions are in order. I'll go first. My name is Dr Mrotsniarb Kranf, and you?"

"We're Calvin and Hobbes," said Calvin, shaking his hand. "So, I take it this version of you is sane and not evil."

"Pretty much," said Mrotsniarb.

"So why were Nivlac and Sebboh always trying to get into our universe?" Calvin asked.

"They were tired of the responsibilities they had in this universe. They were constantly distracted from Sebboh's plans for world domination by the mundane everyday lives of normal people."

"So how did they get to be friends?" asked Calvin.

"Well, Sebboh needed a place to stay, so he scared the cowardly Nivlac into letting him live in his house where the authorities wouldn't find him. He agreed to give Nivlac access to power whenever Sebboh got around to actually taking over the world. That's why they're working together."

"Huh," said Calvin. "So, what do _you_ do?"

"I work under my ruler, Kcaj."

There was a pause.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"…_Kcaj?_"

"Yeah, my evil robot ruler."

"YES I AM!" a voice shouted. "AND BY THE WAY, IT'S DR TOBOR!!!"

Calvin and Hobbes whipped around.

They saw Jack, or should I say Kcaj, wearing a lab coat and rather than his bored look, he had an angry look.

"…Jack?"

"DON'T SPEAK TO YOUR MORTAL ENEMY LIKE THAT!!" Kcaj said angrily. "I SHALL NOW DESTROY THE THREATS TO HUMANITY!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"What's he talking about?" Hobbes whispered to Mrotsniarb.

"He's out to take over the world, but you two are always in the way," Mrotsniarb replied.

"Wow," said Calvin. "This is probably a bad time to say I didn't bring any inventions."

"Good," Hobbes replied.

Kcaj suddenly whipped out a familiar device.

"It's the Servant Ray!" Hobbes cried.

"Yeah, we need to borrow that!" Calvin added.

"Bah! You think I'd give up my most valuable invention?" Kcaj roared. "I think _not!_"

"Hobbes?"

"Sure."

Hobbes immediately pounced Kcaj to the ground, causing the Servant Ray to fly through the air and into Calvin's hands.

"Thanks!" Calvin said. "We'll return it when we're done with it!"

They waved goodbye to Mrotsniarb and hurried out and ran to the box again.

* * *

Back in our universe, Nivlac was just finishing the homework.

Mom stuck her head in.

"Calvin, it's time for your bath, and I don't want any trouble this time!" she said sternly.

"Why yes, Mom! Thanks for telling me!" Nivlac said, leaving for the bathroom.

Mom stared in horror.

"What is _with_ him?!" she cried.

Sebboh watched from the bed in annoyance.

"Honestly, some people…," he muttered. "It's getting to the point where I can't tell if this world's worth taking over!"

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes landed the box back at the house.

"Okay, let's go," said Hobbes.

As they started running up the walk, they were stopped by the Mirror-Susie.

"Hi, Nivlac!" she said happily. "You look nice today!"

Calvin stopped to reply.

"Uh…thank you," he said, not wanting to pronounce her name. "…uh…Nusas."

Mirror-Susie giggled girlishly.

"Oh, you can just call me Eisus," she said, twirling her hair.

Calvin suddenly felt at unease.

"Uh, right," he said, backing away slowly. "I'll do that."

"You wanna do something later?" Eisus said flirtingly.

Hobbes tried _very_ hard not to laugh.

Calvin suddenly found himself feeling very warm.

"Uh…I'm sorry, Eisus," he said nervously. "I, er, have something to with Sebboh tonight that we've been planning for a while, but…um…maybe…some other time?"

Eisus giggled again.

"Okay," she said.

And she skipped away.

Calvin watched her go.

Hobbes was covering his mouth and vibrating slightly.

Calvin glared at him.

"That…_does not…_leave this universe!" he said angrily.

"Oh, you little charmer, you!" Hobbes said, punching his shoulder. "Are you gonna _keep_ this date?"

"SHUT UP!!" Calvin roared, pulling the Servant Ray out of his pocket. "We still have to get back to our universe and get Nivlac and Sebboh back here!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure," Hobbes chuckled. "Still, I'm never gonna let you live this one down."

Calvin rolled his eyes and ran into the house.

However, when they got there, they saw Mom and Dad sprawled on the floor. They buried in candy wrappers, jars of peanut butter and DVDs. There was a DVD player as well. Mom and Dad had fallen asleep, apparently stuffed from junk food and bored from so many movies.

"This actually makes sense," Calvin said. "We'd probably do this exact same thing."

"Yup," said Hobbes.

They left Mom and Dad on the floor and ran up to the bathroom. When they got there, they immediately pulled out Sebboh's Transmogrifier Gun and Kcaj's Servant Ray. Calvin took the Gun, Hobbes took the Ray.

"Ready?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah, hold on," said Hobbes.

He held up the Servant Ray.

"Servant Ray, do not attack Calvin," he said.

Nothing happened.

"Mirror universe, Hobbes," said Calvin. "It actually works over here."

"Well, I'm sorry, but the logic in this universe is really sloppy!" Hobbes complained.

They aimed at each other.

"Servant Ray, attack Calvin!" Hobbes said.

_**BRZAP!**_

Calvin and Hobbes both fired at the exact same time.

_**BOOM!**_

They watched as the two blasts hit each other, mixed together, and fired at the mirror.

_**ZAP!**_

They waited for an intense moment.

"What if it doesn't work?" Hobbes asked.

"Hobbes, it's only natural that it _will_ work," Calvin reassured him.

"How can you be sure?"

"Simple! Nivlac and Sebboh have been trying to reach our universe for years and always failed no matter how hard they tried. We weren't even _trying _and yet we _still _made it into the mirror universe. It's that kind of logic that _proves_ it!"

Almost on cue, the mirror became a jiggling substance.

The same thing happened to _all_ the mirrors.

"YES!" Calvin cheered.

They immediately dove through the mirror…

* * *

…and reappeared their own universe.

"YES!" Calvin cheered.

"Hey!" Nivlac shouted.

Calvin and Hobbes looked down.

Nivlac was in the middle of his bath.

"What are you guys doing here?!" Nivlac shouted. "Get back in there!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances, and then glared at Nivlac.

Nivlac gulped.

"Please…?" he asked hopefully.

They immediately grabbed him and hurled him back into his own universe.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!" he screamed.

And he was gone.

"That was easy," Calvin grinned.

"Let's hurry and get Sebboh!" said Hobbes. "We only have so much time!"

They quickly ran from the bathroom and into the bedroom.

They found Sebboh on the bed writing on something. He looked up and saw them.

"Aw, shoot," he muttered. "Ah well, this shouldn't be too hard. After all, I know exactly what you two are like."

"Oh, do you?" Calvin snorted, glaring at him.

"Why, yes I do," Sebboh growled. "I just have to take who Nivlac and I are and reverse it!"

"Well, do you know how to work any of my inventions?"

"Of course! I'm the one who made them in _my_ universe!"

"Good! Then you should know how _this_ works!"

Calvin tossed him the Servant Ray from the Mirror Universe.

Sebboh looked it over.

"It's from _our_ universe," Calvin lied.

Sebboh grinned.

"You think you can fool _me?_" Sebboh snorted. "I know that the inventor is an idiot in this universe!"

Calvin acted fast. He quickly somersaulted over Sebboh and landed on the bed, facing the mirror. Sebboh jumped on the bed, facing away from the mirror.

"Take this!" Sebboh shouted. "Servant Ray, do not destroy Calvin!"

There was a pause.

Nothing happened.

Hobbes grinned as he watched the two.

Sebboh stood there, confused.

Then he glared at Calvin.

"Oh, that was—"

Calvin quickly fired the Transmogrifier Gun.

_**BRZAP!**_

"OUCH!" Sebboh screamed.

The force was so strong that it sent him hurtling through the mirror and into the mirror universe.

Calvin leaned his head into the mirror.

"Be sure to return the Servant Ray!" he called.

Then, Calvin fired the Transmogrifier Gun again at the mirror, and when the beam hit, all the rippling on the mirrors disappeared.

"YES!" Calvin cheered. "WE DID IT!"

"Whoo!" Hobbes whooped.

Just then, Mom entered.

"Calvin?! What are _you_ doing here? You're supposed to be taking your bath!" she cried.

"Huh? But Mom, I don't wanna!" Calvin whined.

"Oh, so _now_ you don't wanna take a bath?" Mom snorted. "That figures. You start to behave, and just when I'm getting used to the idea, you decide to change back to normal. Get in the tub!"

She grabbed Calvin and carried him out of the room.

Minutes later, Calvin was grumbling in the bathtub, and Hobbes was sitting at his side.

"Yeah, you need to get clean for your date with _Susie_ tomorrow," Hobbes teased.

"SHUT UP!" Calvin yelled, splashing the laughing tiger.

**Dne Eht**

**Voice Work:**

**Pamela Segall Adlon: **Calvin / Nivlac  
**Tom Hanks: **Hobbes / Sebboh  
**Bill Murray: **Dad / Dad  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt: **Mom / Mom  
**Dakota Fanning: **Snikred Eisus  
**Neil Crone: **Dr Brainstorm / Mrotsniarb Kranf  
**Michael Brandon: **Jack / Dr Tobor T Kcaj

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Tracer BulletIn Color! 


	7. Tracer Bullet in Color!

**Summary: **Tracer Bullet and Tiger Eye try to solve a murder case.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Garfieldodie_

**Tracer Bullet in Color!**

_Starring Bill Murray _(Tracer Bullet fires his gun)

_Also starring Tom Hanks _(Tiger Eye is in an office when rapid gunfire goes off. He promptly fires back)

_And Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln _(Abraham Lincoln is shot at, but Lincoln fires back)

_Tonight's Special Guest Star: John Lithgow _(John Lithgow is crushed by a safe)

_Tonight's episode: A Dangerous Assignment_

* * *

A security guard was walking down the hallway towards his desk. He promptly sat down upon arrival and pulled out a magazine. 

Further down the hallway, a door opened. A pair of shiny shoes was all that could be seen in the light. They walked for a few steps before stopping to push the pedal down on a water fountain, therefore giving the owner a drink, and then they continued onwards down the hall.

The person stopped at a wall that had a directory on it. A leather-gloved hand slid down the wall, accidentally knocking a few letters off, before reaching the words it wanted to see: Judge J Oliver Maxwell 112. The person walked in that direction.

The security guard could now hear the footsteps, and he glanced up from his magazine. He had the good sense to put it down and get up from his desk to investigate.

Whoever was walking must have sensed him, because he instantly jumped back into the shadows.

The security guard went around the corner and saw…

…the janitor was using the floor buffer.

"Oh, it's only you, Ralph," said the security guard. "How's it going?"

"Good," Ralph replied,

The security guard went back to his desk.

Ralph floor-buffed for a bit before him and his buffer were promptly yanked into the next hallway.

After this happened, the black shiny shoes resumed their walking.

The security guard went back to his magazine.

The person in the shoes walked down the hallway until the little sign at the bottom of a door appeared that had 112 at the bottom. The person went inside, walked over tables and chairs, and arrived at the judge's stand. Very quietly, he switched the gavels, and then mysteriously left the room.

* * *

The next day, in the same courtroom, a bailiff stood before the jury. 

"The State and the County of Boredom is now in session," he announced. "The honorable Judge Maxwell is presiding."

Judge Maxwell entered and went to his chair behind his podium.

"You may be seated," he announced.

The jury sat down and disappeared out of view, due to the fact there were no chairs.

Judge Maxwell put his glasses and on and reached for the gavel.

"The court will come to order," he said.

He slammed the gavel.

_**KABLAM!**_

It had exploded.

The bailiff stared at the now dead Judge Maxwell.

"Uh…," he said, waving the smoke away. "There will now be a five minute recess."

* * *

A car drove down the roads of the city. A man in a trench coat and hat was driving it, and in the backseat was some teenager who was washing the inside of the car. 

_My name is Tracer Bullet. I'm a private in the city. I was having my car washed when I received an urgent call from downtown. There'd been a bombing down at the courthouse. I got to the police headquarters where my young assistant, Tiger Eye would be waiting._

Tracer arrived at the police station a few minutes later. He paid the kid for washing his car and marched up into the main office where Tiger Eye was reading over some reports.

"Tiger Eye?" Tracer asked.

Tiger Eye looked up.

"Tracer, glad you're here," he said. "There was a sizeable explosion at the courthouse. The poor judge never stood a chance. Coffee?"

"Please."

Tiger Eye began pouring two cups of coffee.

"Anyone else hurt?" Tracer asked.

"Eh, some minor injuries, but nothing too serious."

"Good."

Tracer took his cup of coffee, and they resumed walking.

"Doughnut?" Tiger Eye asked.

"Sure."

Tiger Eye handed Tracer a doughnut, and Tracer put it on a tray.

They both grabbed trays and headed for the lunch line that was in the middle of the office.

"Sounds like the judge was a target," Tracer commented. "What do we know about him?"

"Well, his name was J Oliver Maxwell. He'd been on the bench of twelve years," Tiger Eye explained, taking some Jell-O. "He had a reputation for harsh sentences."

"A revenge killing, do you suppose?" Tracer suggested, taking some salad.

"Well, that was my original thought, yes," Tiger Eye replied, taking some peas and steak from the lunch lady. "I've had the boys go through the records of recently released prisoners. It turns out that seven of them were set up by Judge Maxwell himself."

After Tracer took his peas and steak, they sat down at the work desk and looked at some papers while they ate.

Tiger Eye handed Tracer a piece of paper.

"Here, I made a list for you," he said.

Tracer looked it over.

"Let's see…," he said, reading the names. "Huh, here's one: Casabas."

Just then, an egg timer went off.

_DING!_

Tracer looked up.

"Wait a minute, that name rings a bell," he said.

Tiger Eye looked at him.

"Casabas?" he asked.

The egg timer went off again.

_DING!_

"Casabas?" he said again, stroking his chin.

The fire alarm went off.

_BRRRRRING!_

"Casabas?" he continued, still thinking.

A doorbell was heard.

_**DING-DONG!**_

"Casabas…," he said, continuing to think.

Big Ben was heard.

_**DONG!**_

Then Tiger Eye looked up.

"Say, wasn't he the guy who was convicted of bombing about six or seven years ago?"

"Right!" said Tracer, snapping his fingers. "I remember him! He was a tough cookie."

"Yeah!" said Tiger Eye. He leaned over his shoulder. "Hey, Zack, do we have the papers on Andrew Casabas?"

A gray robot wearing trousers and a white button down shirt arrived, but his legs were extended, so he couldn't be seen on camera.

"Yeah, I got it right here," said Zack, handing Tiger Eye a portfolio.

"Thanks. Oh, Zack, you've got something on your face," Tiger Eye said, taking it.

"Where?" Zack asked, feeling around on his unseen face.

"You almost got it…," Tiger Eye said.

_POP!_

"There ya go."

Zack lowered his hand to reveal a trout.

"Huh," said Zack. "I must have left it there from lunch."

He walked away.

Tiger Eye flipped through the portfolio.

"Let's see," he said. "Andrew Casabas, age eight, sentenced to twelve years in prison for two counts of willful destruction of property and possession of explosives without a license. No previous felonies. Parole officer died after service for seven years. According to this here, he was a model prisoner."

He handed Tracer a picture.

It was a picture of Andrew Casabas modeling his jail suit.

"He ain't bad," Tracer said. "Pity about his situation."

"Well, it's as good a place as any to start," said Tiger Eye, putting the portfolio away, but still holding a small piece of paper, which he handed to Tracer. "Here's his last known address. His ex-wife still lives there."

Tracer stood up.

"Well, let's go check it out," he said.

Tiger Eye nodded and followed him.

* * *

_Our file on Casabas had pointed out the fact that he had divorced while in prison. Her wife buried herself in charity work to ease the pain._

* * *

A young girl was putting objects into a box that read ORPHANS RELIEF FUND when the doorbell rang. She went to answer the door. 

Tracer and Tiger Eye were behind it.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Are you Lana Casabas?" Tracer asked.

"Yes."

"Tracer Bullet and Tiger Eye: Private Eyes," he said, showing her his badge.

"May we ask you some questions?" Tiger Eye asked.

"Yes, come in."

Tracer and Tiger Eye entered the apartment.

"I hope you'll excuse the mess," Lana said. "I've been picking up a few things for charity. May I take your coats?"

"Thank you," said Tracer as he and Tiger Eye took off their trench coats and handed them to her.

Lana put them in the box for charity.

"Does this have anything to do with Andrew?" she asked.

"I'm afraid so," said Tracer, who sat down on the couch.

"It has to do with the courthouse bombing, doesn't it?"

Tracer nodded.

"Have you seen or heard anything from Andrew since he's been released?" Tiger Eye asked, taking out a notepad and pencil.

Lana shook her head sadly.

"We haven't spoken much since the divorce," she sighed. "It's just as well."

"Do you know where Andrew is right now?" Tracer asked.

"You might try the Flamingo Club," Lana said, her voice breaking. "He hangs out there with one of the dancers, some floozy named Mimi Dejour."

"Dejour," said Tiger Eye, writing it down. "Is she French?"

"That's just her stage name," Lana whimpered, putting things into the box. "Her real name is Mimi Coffee."

"Coffee?" asked Tiger Eye.

"No thank you."

She took Tracer and Tiger Eye's hats and put them in the box.

Neither one seemed to care.

* * *

_It seemed Lana was welcoming the moment the let her heart out. She and Andrew had had regular jobs, close friends, a dentist… She thought it would last forever. Slowly, he began to change. When Andrew's crimes came out, they were chased out of town. We waited until she had finished her story, and then left for what we hoped would be a rendezvous with Andrew Casabas._

* * *

Lana had finished filling the box with clothes, so Tracer and Tiger Eye left. Tracer was now down to his undershirt and boxers, and Tiger Eye only had a pencil in his ear and held a notepad. 

Once they had redressed at the office, they set off.

* * *

_We caught Mimi Dejour's show at Club Flamingo. We hoped our discussion with her would be just as revealing as her act._

* * *

They walked into the backstage room of the club, where they could hear men cheering and sleazy music. 

They knocked on the door that said 'Mimi'.

"Come in," a voice said.

They opened the door and saw a girl wearing a sparkling outfit with feathers on it.

Tracer and Tiger Eye stared at her.

"Tracer Eye and Tiger Bullet," Tracer said. "Eyes Private. Ask to questions like we'd you."

The girl looked up and looked at them, wide-eyed.

"Is this some kind of bust?" she asked.

"Yes, it's very impressive, but we'd just like to ask some questions," said Tracer.

"Well, come on in."

They entered.

"Thank you. We'll try not to take up too much of your time," said Tiger Eye.

"Do you mind if I change?"

"No, not at all," said Tracer.

Mimi disappeared behind the changing curtain.

Tiger Eye flipped through his notes.

"I understand you're associated with a certain Andrew Casaba," he said.

"That's right. Why?"

"We just want to ask him some questions."

"He's not in any trouble, is he?"

"Well, we're not sure," said Tracer. "Do you know where we can find him?"

"Nope," said Mimi quickly.

Before they could prod further, a man with glasses and thinning hair entered.

"You're on in a few minutes," he said to Tracer and Tiger Eye.

Tracer waved him off.

"You've got the wrong guys," he said. "We're private eyes."

"Oh," said the man.

He pulled out some police uniforms.

"Again, five minutes."

And he left.

Tracer and Tiger Eye ignored him.

"Do you know where Andrew was last night?" Tiger Eye asked.

"Oh yes, he was with me," said Mimi, looking over at them. "We went to the movies on the waterfront."

Tracer sighed.

"There are no movie theaters on the waterfront," he said.

Just then, someone entered.

"Mimi," he said. "Ready?"

"Andrew!" Mimi gasped.

Tracer and Tiger Eye stared at him.

Andrew glared.

"Beat it, creeps," he said. "I'm taking the lady home."

Mimi whispered, "They're cops."

Andrew stared at them.

"That's right," said Tracer. "We'd like to ask you a few questions."

Just then, the same man with glasses reentered.

"Two minutes," he informed Tracer and Tiger Eye. Then he noticed Andrew. "You! Are you a private eye too?"

"No, I'm an ex-con," Andrew replied.

"Oh."

The man pulled out a prison's uniform.

"Two minutes."

And he left.

"What were you doing on the waterfront last night, Andrew?" Tracer asked.

"I wasn't _on_ the waterfront," Andrew replied. "I was at the movies."

"That's not what _she_says," said Tiger Eye, nodding towards Mimi.

Andrew grunted.

"Now look," he said. "I know why you guys are here. You're trying to pin that court bombing on me!"

"We were getting around to that," said Tracer, nodding.

"Well, a lot of guys could've done it! You cops never give an ex-con a break! I try to put my past behind me, but then there's always somebody there to remind of who I am or where I've been. It's like I'm branded for life!" Andrew said, getting angrier.

"We're sorry about that, Andrew," Tracer said. "But don't plan on leaving town. We might wanna talk to you again."

Tracer and Tiger Eye left the room.

Andrew glared at Mimi.

"Did you tell them I was at the movies?" he demanded.

"Sure!" said Mimi. "Just like you said, Andrew! I'd never cross you!"

Andrew smirked and playfully punched her jaw.

"Good girl," he said, walking away.

Mimi smiled, but then frowned as she touched the spot where Andrew had tapped her. She spit out a tooth.

* * *

The next day, a man with goggles and crazy red hair was standing next to a girl with glasses. The girl was sitting on the counter in the man's lab. They were watching fur fly all around them as a cat howled. 

"As you can see, young lady," the scientist said, "fish have gills which allows them breathe in the water, but mammals like this cat have lungs which are equipped to only accept oxygen, and then only in it's natural state, and that's why most mammals must live on land."

He picked up the cat, which was completely drenched, and handed it to the girl who toweled it off.

"Wow, that's neat," she said.

The scientist looked up and saw Tracer entering.

"Oh, good day, Tracer," he said, and then turned back to the girl. "Would you like to keep him?" he asked, motioning to the cat.

"Gee, can I? Thanks, Mr Olsen!" said the girl, taking the cat and walking away.

"No problem, kid," said Professor Olsen. "And next week, I'll teach you why women can't play professional football."

"Bye!"

The girl ran out the door with the cat.

Tracer looked up at Professor Olsen.

"Any progress, Ted?" Tracer asked.

"_**IT'S PROFESSOR OLSEN!**_" he shouted. "And some. Take a look at this."

Professor Olsen walked through a door into another room, while Tracer walked around the edge of the set and came back to his side.

"We've been sorting through the fragments left by the bombing," Professor Olson explained, motioning to a box of sawdust.

"What was the bomb made of?" asked Tracer.

"Well, we analyzed the fragments. There are seven common household chemicals. When mixed together in the proper ratio, they can be highly unstable."

Tracer thought about this.

"So what you're saying is that anyone with high school knowledge of chemistry could've made the bomb?" he asked.

"Exactly," Professor Olsen confirmed. "It's a very crude explosive and not the work of a professional."

Tracer pondered this.

* * *

That night, someone with dark shoes was walking around a car. They opened up the hood and placed a ticking bomb inside. After carefully closing the hood of the car, they walked away into the night.

* * *

The next morning, a man came walking down from his house and headed towards his car. He got inside and started the car. 

_**KABOOM!**_

* * *

**ACT II**

**RICHARD III**

Tracer Bullet drove his car to the scene of the crime the following day, promptly crashing into some trashcans.

_CRASH!_

He quickly got out and looked at the blown up car.

A police officer was talking through a megaphone at two people, telling them to go away.

Other police officers were inspecting the car.

Tiger Eye was amongst them.

"Glad you're here, Tracer," he said.

"What've you got?" Tracer asked, overseeing everything.

"Victim's name was James Samuelson. He was a trial lawyer. Oh, and this'll interest you: he used to be an assistant DA, and seven years ago he prosecuted Andrew Casaba."

Tracer raised an eyebrow.

One of the cops, a tiger like Tiger Eye, approached and overlooked the destroyed car.

"I can't believe anybody would do something so cruel," he sighed.

Tracer and Tiger Eye nodded in agreement.

"Senseless brutality," Tracer said. "Senseless waste."

"Cut down in the prime of life," Tiger Eye added.

"That car was a classic," the tiger cop said. "It was a '68! You think the widow would take fifteen hundred for it?"

Tracer and Tiger Eye exchanged glances and then looked up when they heard the sound of an engine.

"Oh, the Toe Truck's arrived," said Tiger Eye, getting out of the way.

Everyone cleared the path as a truck shaped like a giant toe came up behind the wrecked car and took it away.

Tracer and Tiger Eye stood under a tree nearby.

"What do you think, Tiger Eye?" Tracer asked.

"Well, my guess is that it was the same sort of a bomb," Tiger Eye replied. "The strange thing is we were unable to find the body!"

Tracer watched the wreck being taken away.

"That was quite an explosion," he commented.

"Well, our job's done here."

"Yeah, we'd better head back to the office. What time is it?"

An arm suddenly dangled from the tree there were under.

Tiger Eye glanced at the watch that was on it.

"Wow!" he said. "It's later than I thought."

The tiger cop came up.

"Excuse me, Tracer," he said, handing him something. "I found this on the curb."

Tracer took it and looked at it.

It was a book of matches, and it said something on it.

"Club Flamingo…," he read.

Tracer glanced at Tiger Eye.

"I think we oughta have a little chat with Andrew Casabas," he said.

Tiger Eye nodded in agreement and they set off.

After they all left, a dead body fell out of the tree.

* * *

Andrew Casabas was sitting under a pair of lamps as Tracer and Tiger Eye drilled him. 

"I'm telling ya!" he said frantically. "You got nothing on me! You're wasting your time!"

Tracer walked around him.

"Alright, Andrew, let's go over it again," he said impatiently. "Where were you last night?"

"I told you a dozen times! I was at the movies!"

Just then, Crateso the tiger cop came in carrying a box.

"I got the sandwiches," he said.

"Alright, Andrew, you went to the movies," said Tiger Eye. "You went to the movies. What did you see?"

"I told you, I don't remember!" Andrew insisted.

"Who had the egg salad?" asked Crateso.

"I don't remember," Tiger Eye mocked.

"Well, somebody ordered it!" Crateso said.

"You can't expect us to buy that!" Tracer said.

"But I already paid for it!" said Crateso, annoyed.

"Why don't you give a guy a break!" said Andrew.

"Thank you!" said Crateso.

"What's the charge anyway?" Andrew continued.

"About $4.58," said Crateso.

"What are you trying to do? Insult us?" Tiger Eye growled.

"Okay, $3.50! Coffee's on me!" Crateso said, getting frustrated.

"I told you! I went to the movies, I fell asleep, I don't remember!" Andrew wailed.

"You don't expect us to swallow that!" Tracer snorted.

"Alright,_I'll_ eat it," Crateso grumbled. "But I don't think its fair that I should have to pay for it!"

And with that, he stormed out.

"Alright, Andrew, let's say you _did_go to the movies," Tiger Eye said, getting close to him.

"Okay," Andrew sighed.

They all looked ahead.

"You_did_ go to the movies," they all said together.

"And let's say you were nowhere _near_the Club Flamingo," Tracer said.

They all looked ahead.

"You were nowhere _near_the Club Flamingo," they all said.

"Then explain _this!_" said Tracer, slamming the match book down on the desk.

Andrew picked it up and looked at it.

"Well, you take this little cardboard stick out with sulfur on the end, and you rub it on the edges, and it makes fire," he explained.

"Don't play dumb with _me_, Andrew!" Tracer said angrily. "You spent a lot of time at the Club Flamingo."

"Yeah, and so did a lot of guys! It was a popular club!"

"Why don't you make it easier on yourself?! Tell us the truth!"

"I AIN'T LYIN'! YOU GOT NOTHIN' ON ME! YOU GOT NOTHIN' TA BOOKS ME ON!" Andrew shouted.

Tiger Eye paused.

"Tracer, come here," he said.

Tracer and Tiger Eye walked away from him.

"I'm afraid he's right," Tiger Eye sighed. "We're gonna have to let him go. All the evidence we have is purely circumstantial."

Tracer sighed.

"Yeah, you're right," he sighed.

Tracer and Tiger Eye turned and started to leave the police station.

"Tell the bomber to take off," Tracer ordered as they left.

One of the policemen stood up and went over to the window and stuck his arm out of it, giving someone outside a thumb up.

The sound of an airplane taking off could be heard.

* * *

_That night, when I got home, I received a call from Mimi Dejour. She said she wanted to meet me at the club right away. Since I had no idea where the Club Right Away was, I suggested the Club Flamingo. She agreed._

* * *

Tracer got to the Club Flamingo close to its closing time. That didn't stop the service from being polite. 

"May I check your coat?" an employee asked.

"Please," Tracer said.

She pulled out a marker and drew a checkmark on Tracer's jacket.

Tracer nodded in thanks and continued onwards until he found a booth where Mimi was sitting by herself.

"Ah, Mimi Dejour," he said, sitting down next to her.

"Oh, Mr Bullet, thank you for coming," she said happily.

Tracer reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes.

"Cigarette?" he asked.

"Yes, it is," Mimi replied.

Tracer put them away.

"Well, what can I do for you?" he asked.

"It's about Andrew," she said. "I can't cover for him anymore." Then she called the waiter. "Two more, please!" she called.

"What do you mean?" Tracer asked.

"I lied," she explained. "He never took me to the movies."

"What?" Tracer asked, pretending to be surprised.

"I said, I lied, he never took me to the movies," Mimi replied, a little bit louder.

The waiter brought them their drinks.

The cups were so decked up in umbrellas and straws there was barely any room for a beverage.

"Where did you go?" Tracer asked.

"Out somewhere," Mimi replied. "He told me it was best if I didn't know anything. If he's mixed up in all this trouble, I don't wanna be a part of it."

Tracer took a sip from his drink.

"I understand," he said.

"No, you don't! You don't know how hard it is ratting on the guy you love! I've been getting higher hopes since he divorced his wife!"

Tracer looked up.

"Wait a minute," he said. "I thought Lana left him."

"No," said Mimi, tearing up. "And now he has good reason to dump me too. Maybe I should've just kept my big mouth shut."

And she started to whimper.

Tracer quickly gave her a tissue to wipe her eyes.

* * *

_Mimi had done the right thing. She had given me some useful answers. But now I needed more. There was only place I could get them from._

* * *

The next morning, Tracer went to get his shoes shined by Jerry the Shoe-Shining Hamster. The little hamster was wearing a cap on his head. 

"Morning, Jerry," Tracer said, sitting on one of his seats.

"Morning, Tracer," Jerry replied, getting out his shoe polish. He began to shine Tracer's shoes.

"I need some information on a certain parolee," Tracer whispered.

Jerry simply shrugged.

Tracer pulled out a dollar bill and handed it to him.

Jerry took it.

"You mean Andrew Casaba?" he asked.

Tracer nodded.

"What do you know about him?"

Jerry checked around him and spoke very quietly.

"Convicted bomber, released a month ago…," he began.

"No, no, no, I know all that. I need something more personal. What occupies his time?" he asked, handing Jerry a second dollar bill.

"Mimi Dejour and the Milwaukee Brewers."

Tracer looked up.

"Does he see many games?" he asked, handing him another dollar bill.

"Season tickets," replied Jerry, taking it, and then handing him a little ticket stub. "That's all I have on him."

Tracer pondered this and got up to leave.

"Thanks, Jerry," he said, walking away.

Jerry simply nodded in reply and waited for his next customer.

Next walked in an old lady wearing a polka dotted dress. She sat in one of Jerry's chairs. Jerry started to shine her shoes.

"Jerry, I've heard of something called the Cinderella Complex," she said.

"So?" Jerry asked.

The woman handed him a dollar bill.

Jerry checked around him and replied, "Women's success has left many of them confused about their wants and needs. Consequently, stress related burnout has driven many women from feminist to aggression to female passivity, making them dependent on their partner for vicarious fulfillment."

"What do I tell them?" the woman asked, handing him another dollar bill.

Taking it, Jerry replied, "Tell them to get in touch with their partner about their unconscious feelings, and then they can join in the growth process with their partner."

The woman smiled.

"Thanks, Jerry," she said, and she got down and left.

Jerry simply waited for another customer.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Tracer was back in his office and on the phone. 

Tiger Eye was playing darts.

"Hello, Lana?" Tracer said. "Tracer Bullet here. We picked up Andrew, but we had to release him. We don't have enough to hold him on."

He heard Lana sigh over the phone.

"He's such a vindictive man," she said. "What will it take to put him behind bars for good?"

"Well, we're missing that one bit of evidence that would make this an airtight case," he said, opening the file cabinet marked MUG FILES. "In the mean time, Lana, we're worried about you and Mimi."

"Mimi?!" asked Lana, surprised.

"Yeah, Mimi blew his alibi," Tracer replied. "He knows that one of you told on him to the police, and he's mad. There's no predicting what he might do." He pulled a coffee mug out of the file cabinet and went to fill it with coffee. "We sent some cops over to Mimi's, but she's gotten tired having the cops around."

"I see."

"We're prepared to offer you the same police protection."

"Well, that's nice of you, Mr Bullet, but that won't be necessary. I'm leaving town tonight."

"Oh, I see. Well, in the long run, it might be just as well," he said. "Now listen, Lana, in the meantime, be careful."

He hung up.

* * *

_Lana's attitude seemed confusing. She was almost hostile towards Andrew, and yet she felt no threat from him. Now she was suddenly leaving town. Mimi was scared. She had to be. She was a sitting duck. She loved Andrew, that was clear, but if he was the bomber, it that there could be no future. There was nothing we could do but wait until the bomber made his next move, and then hopefully stop him before he struck again._

* * *

Tracer and Tiger Eye were staked not too far way from Mimi's apartment building in their car. To keep themselves occupied, they were loudly munching on doughnuts and slurping their coffee. 

"Is she still there?" asked Tiger Eye.

Tracer looked up at the apartment window.

They could see Mimi pacing back and forth in her room.

"Mm-hmm," Tracer replied, taking another doughnut. "You gotta hand it to Mimi. Her life's in danger, but she won't run away."

Tiger Eye nodded in agreement.

While they were noisily eating, a pair of shiny black shoes walked down the sidewalk. The footsteps could be heard from up to…around the sidewalk, actually. They walked up to Mimi's apartment building, and stopped directly beneath her window. He placed a bomb in the spot under the window. Then he began to let out a long length of cable connecting from the bomb to the plunger he was carrying.

Tracer and Tiger Eye were still munching and slurping.

Mimi continued to pace at her window.

The bomber started to connect the cable to the plunger.

Tracer and Tiger Eye continued their loud dining.

By now, the bomb was almost set.

Tracer casually glanced outside the car and in that particular direction. He quickly stopped Tiger Eye in mid-slurp.

"Hold it," he said. "There's someone over there. Let's go."

Tiger Eye nodded and they both began to get out of the car. Tiger Eye pulled out a communicator.

"We've spotted the suspect and we're moving in!" he whispered.

"ROGER! WE COPY!" a loud voice said.

"Shhh!" Tiger Eye hissed. "Be quiet!"

"SORRY! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT!"

"Will you be quiet?!"

"ROGER! READY TO ASSIST!"

By some miracle, the bomber didn't hear them, and prepared to push down the plunger.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, LANA! THE GAME'S OVER!" Tracer shouted.

Lana looked up in surprise from her plunger.

"Stand back!" she ordered.

"Now just make it easy for yourself," said Tracer, holding up his gun. "We know you did those other bombings!"

"I'm warning you!" Lana retorted. "One wrong move and I'll blow this whole neighborhood up!"

By now, a crowd had formed.

"Everyone get back!" Tiger Eye ordered. "You're all in danger! Run to safety!"

The crowd immediately ran to the safety of the road, where they were immediately creamed by an oncoming truck.

Tracer, Tiger Eye and Lana were showered by several possessions as they continued the standoff.

"Get away from that detonator!" Tracer ordered.

"Forget it, Bullet," Lana growled. "You set me up! If I can't have Andrew back, I'll make sure Mimi can't either!"

She slammed the plunger down.

"NO!" cried Tracer.

But something strange happened.

Or should I say, _didn't_ happen?

There was no explosion.

Lana was confused, so she tried again and again.

"I don't understand!" she wailed.

Then they saw someone approaching.

"Andrew!" Lana cried.

Andrew was holding the bomb. He handed it to Tracer.

"Just in time, Andrew," Tracer grinned.

"Piece of cake, Tracer," Andrew replied.

"No thanks, I just ate."

Lana stared at them.

The sirens of police cars were heard.

Crateso and a few others came up. They immediately cuffed up Lana.

"Well, I see you didn't leave town tonight," Tracer said coyly, "but you're leaving soon for the State Bill Prison."

"Okay, boys," said Tiger Eye. "Run her in."

The cops immediately led Lana to a starting line. Once there, Crateso fired his starting gun, and Lana and the cops raced to prison.

* * *

The next day, Tracer and Tiger Eye were sitting in the office having coffee. 

"You know, there's still one thing that baffles me about this case," Tiger Eye said. "You said Andrew lied about his alibi?"

"Yeah, he wasn't at the movie," Tracer explained. "He was watching a baseball game over in Milwaukee. He was afraid to tell anyone because going over the state line is a violation of parole."

"Parole violation? What are we gonna do about that?"

"Eh, forget it. There are some things you can't deprive a man of."

"Well, I'll drink to that, Tracer," said Tiger Eye, clinking his mug with Tracer's.

Then they tried to hold that position while the credits rolled, but you could still see them blinking under the names as they wobbled.

**Case Closed**

**Voice Work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon: **Calvin_(Narrator)_  
**Bill Murray: **Tracer Bullet / Dad (Guy at the Club Flamingo)  
**Tom Hanks: **Hobbes (Tiger Eye) / Bailiff  
**Ryan Stiles: **Socrates (Crateso)  
**Andrew Lawrence: **Andy (Andrew Casabas)  
**Colin Mochrie: **Sherman (Jerry) / Judge J Oliver Maxwell  
**Dakota Fanning: **Susie (Mimi) / Little Girl with Cat  
**Daveigh Chase: **Rosalyn (Lana)  
**Neil Crone: **Dr Brainstorm (Professor Olsen)  
**Michael Brandon: **Jack (Zack)  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt: **Mom (Coat Checker)

* * *

**Coming up Next: **A Calvin and Hobbes: The Series Double-Halloween Feature, _**RIP Calvin**_ and _**Pranking the Ghosts**_


	8. RIP Calvin

**Summary: **When Calvin creates a more sophisticated Time Machine, it results in a visit from Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman from fifteen years in the future.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie_

**R.I.P. Calvin**

"Ah what a lovely spring day." Hobbes sighed, walking across a small field. "The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, Baby sparrows are flying through the breeze, staring at me curiously, and Calvin hasn't invented anything in over a month! Yes, life is good."

Hobbes sat down at the base of a tree, and leaned back, the shade covering him.

He took an apple out of his pocket, and began chewing on it, admiring the field around him.

Just then, he spotted something.

His eyes burst open.

Calvin was walking towards him.

He had a wild grin on his face, and he was holding what looked like a small silver stop watch, which was gleaming in the sunlight.

_ZOOOM!!!_

Suddenly, Hobbes vanished into thin air.

Calvin stopped, and looked around.

He scowled, and started back towards the house, muttering to himself.

* * *

Hobbes raced upstairs, into Calvin's room, and dove underneath the bed.

He grabbed a small remote control, and hit a big red button in the middle.

* * *

Socrates was laying on his bed, on his stomach, and mapping out another prank onto a large blueprint.

"OK," he said, chewing on his pencil eraser. "If I can lure him onto the platform with a comic book or something... I'll have to work on that, then the water balloon trap may..."

Suddenly, a siren began going off, ringing throughout the mansion, and a red light on Socrates' ceiling began flashing.

Socrates' head came up.

"Uh oh," He began. "It's the 'Calvin's made another invention' alarm!"

He leaped to his feet, and grabbed an army helmet and a gag Civil War rifle off his dresser.

"Prepare for the battle for the Earth!" He said, holding the plastic rifle up, and acquiring a serious expression.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sherman was in his lab, operating a tiny wrench against a large machine.

Everything was going normal for him until suddenly, a loud siren went off, and a red light on Sherman's ceiling lit up.

Sherman looked up.

He groaned.

Andy came in.

"Shermie, what is it?" He asked, looking around.

"That dumb Socrates installed an alarm in here." Sherman growled. "It goes off whenever Calvin's made anything."

"Calvin's made a invention?" Andy gasped. "We have to hurry and get to his house!"

Sherman stared at him.

"Why?" He demanded.

"Help destroy it, of course." Andy replied, picking a protesting Sherman off his desk, and walking out.

* * *

Calvin walked up the driveway towards his house, still holding the stopwatch.

Just then, he stopped.

Socrates was already over at Calvin's house, and he had already thrown up a barb wire fence around the house, and he and Hobbes were currently crouching behind a line of flour bags, glaring at Calvin. They were both wearing war helmets.

"The way you two act whenever I make something, you'd think the apocalypse is coming or something." Calvin complained at them.

"It is." Hobbes said. "The apocalypse has happened several times, now."

"How many?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

There was a pause.

"How many inventions have you made, now?" Socrates asked, rubbing his chin.

Calvin glared at them.

"You don't even know what this one does, either, do you?" He demanded, holding up the invention, and pointing at it.

"OK, I'm going to guess it's a mass disintegrator that could wipe humanity off the map with a single button push." Hobbes said.

"Yeah, I'm going to go with Hobbes' guess." Socrates said. "We're not that far off, are we?"

Calvin scowled.

At that very moment, Andy came running up, Sherman in his pocket.

"What I miss?" He panted, looking around. "Humans aren't extinct, yet, right? Is there still _hope?!_"

"Oh for crying out loud!!" Calvin shouted, throwing his hands to the sky. "This invention is totally harmless!! What the heck is _wrong_ with you people?! It's a stopwatch for Pete's sake!!!"

There was a long moment of silence.

Hobbes and Socrates exchanged nervous glances.

"OK, we'll bite." Socrates said, standing up, and stretching. "What does_ this_ one do?"

"Well come into the house, and I'll show you." Calvin said, proudly. "And Socrates?"

"Hmm, yes?" Socrates asked, taking his helmet off.

"If you don't take this barb wire fence down, and get those bags out of my way, I am going to crush you to a fine powder." Calvin said, casually.

"Oh, very well," Socrates yawned.

* * *

"I call it _The Time Plucker!_" Calvin said, holding his invention out for everyone to see.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman were sitting on the couch in the living room, and Calvin was standing in front of them.

"What it does, is that it can take anything and everything out of any point in time and space, and bring it here to me!"

Hobbes and Socrates looked at each other nervously.

"Allow me to demonstrate." Calvin said.

He pulled up a stool, and placed it front of the couch.

Everyone remained silent.

Calvin stepped back, and held the stopwatch out.

He pushed the silver timer button on top.

Suddenly, the timer's arm began moving.

Very slowly, it turned around the screen.

Then it began picking up speed.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched as the timer flew around in circles, making a loud buzzing noise, then suddenly the machine began glowing white.

_KA-ZAAAAP!!_

Suddenly, there was a blast of light, and a suddenly, a DVD appeared on the stool.

There was a moment of silence.

Andy reached forward, and picked it up.

His eyes popped open.

"No... way..." He said.

"Yes way, my dear Andrew." Calvin chuckled.

"This movie has been out of print for over ten years!" Andy said. "This is brand new! It's still in its wrapping!"

"Yep. You can keep it." Calvin nodded. "Anyway, with this device, we can bring _anything_back from the past, and _anything_ from the future!"

"How does it work?" Sherman asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I used the same telepathy technology that The Transmogrifier Gun uses." Calvin said. "All I have to do is keep the image of what I want in my head, and push the button. It will then appear on whatever surface is available. In this case, the kitchen stool, which I borrowed from Mom."

"What if someone is using what your transporting when you transport it?" Hobbes asked.

"I thought of that, too!" Calvin grinned. "The Time Plucker doesn't bring the actual item here to us. It brings a duplicate of it! A complete mirror image."

"Huh." Socrates said. "And, uh, what exactly did you have in mind for this Time Plucker?"

Calvin paused.

Then, a wide grin spread across his face.

* * *

"HEEEEEEELLP!!!" Hobbes screamed, as Calvin dragged him outside by the tail.

He had his claws hooked into the carpet, and it was being ripped totally apart, as Calvin dragged him out of the house.

Andy, Sherman, and Socrates were standing outside, staring at Calvin dully, as he walked up to them.

"Come on, Hobbes, this will be fun!" Calvin said, as Hobbes tore up a line of sod, while Calvin dragged him along. "Here, hold this."

Calvin handed Socrates Hobbes' tail.

Socrates uncrossed his arms, and took hold of it, staring at Calvin, expressionlessly.

"Now, here's the plan," Calvin said, taking a few steps back. "I'm going to use the Time Plucker to produce a futuristic space ship, which can cruise the various galaxies in our universe! Exploring the deepest regions of space! Cool, huh?"

"Why do you do want to do that?" Andy asked.

"Because it is now possible for me to do so." Calvin said, holding the stop watch up.

"Why do we have to take part in it?" Socrates demanded holding his chest.

"Because I want you to." Calvin said plainly.

Everyone groaned.

Slowly, Hobbes stood up.

Calvin reached into his pocket.

Then, he pulled out three silver discs.

He threw one to Andy, Hobbes, and Socrates.

"What are these?" Andy asked.

"Time discs." Calvin replied. "You're weren't here, when I made those, Andy. They're designed to bring you into Time Stop along with whoever's using the Time Pauser. In this case, me. I don't want multiple people gripping my head every single time I pause time."

"Oh." Andy said, examining the disc.

Calvin pulled his Time Pauser out of his pocket.

"OK, this is to keep people from noticing the sudden appearance of a space craft in my back yard." He said, pushing the button.

_**BOOM!!**_

A white, spiraling shockwave exploded from the sides of the yellow device, engulfing everything in its path, and causing it to freeze in place.

At the same time the Time Pauser was activated, the Time Discs Hobbes, Socrates, and Andy were holding began humming loudly, and glowing a bright yellow.

As the shockwave neared the four it split in two, went past them, reconnected, then continued on it's light speed path across the Earth, causing time to come to a sudden stop.

Calvin grinned, and slipped the Time Pauser back into his pocket, and at the same time pulled his Time Plucker out of the other.

"You may want to step back." He chuckled.

Hobbes, Socrates, and Andy all began backing up.

They backed into the fence, and waited.

Calvin pushed the button on the Time Plucker.

The one hand on the timer began spinning. Slowly at first, and then picking up speed.

Then, it began glowing, once again.

_KA-ZAAAAP!!_

There was another flash of light, and suddenly, a large spaceship appeared in front of five.

It was sort of roundish ship with red and blue wires running all across it. It had circular windows all around the front, and it had one of those escalators that futuristic ships have.

Calvin grinned.

"Here it is, guys!" He said. "And now, we enter upon it, and begin our adventure!"

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Andy asked, nervously.

"Of course not." Calvin said, stepping on the escalator. "You coming or what?"

There was a pause.

Then, Andy slowly began walking onto the ship, holding Sherman.

Socrates casually followed him, humming some random tune.

Hobbes stared at the ship.

He turned around, and began walking in the other direction.

Socrates ran back down, grabbed his arm, and lead him up to the ship.

* * *

Calvin looked around the ship with excitement.

"Oh, this is so great!" He grinned, running over to the main panel.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked around, nervously.

Calvin reached into his pocket, and pulled out another Time Disc.

He began flipping switches on the panel, then opened up a small compartment.

He threw the Time Disc in, and slammed it shut, then he turned to his two worried friends.

And Socrates and Sherman.

"OK, guys." He said. "I know how to start the ship up, so I'll get it running, and then we'll be off to explore the universe! Ready?"

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman shook their heads.

"Great! That's the spirit!"

Calvin whirled around, and began pushing buttons and flipping switches on the panels before him.

The ship's engines suddenly roared to life.

Calvin took a lever, and pushed it forward.

Socrates looked out the window.

Dust was being thrown everywhere, as the ship slowly began to rise from the ground.

Calvin then took hold of a large wind-up like object, and began cranking it.

The ship rose off the ground, threw some leafs around as they topped the trees, and continued rising.

Once it was high up above everything else, Calvin reached into his pocket, and pulled the Time Pauser back out.

_**BOOM!!!**_

Calvin then stood back, put the Time Pauser back, and reached into his pockets, again.

"Now I'll just use the MTM here to set our coordinates."

He pulled out the CD player and pushed 'Play'.

A hologram popped out.

_What?_

Calvin rolled his eyes, and pointed it at the ship's controls.

He pushed a couple of buttons, and suddenly a red light shot out of the CD player, and hit a small sensor on the computer.

This went on for a moment, and then, Calvin switched it off, and put it back into his pocket.

He turned a grin onto the gang.

"Hold on." He chuckled.

There was a pause.

Then...

_**BOOOOM!!!**_

Suddenly fire exploded out of the ship's engines, and it blasted forward.

Calvin sat down in a red swivel chair before him, propped his legs onto the panel, and put his hands behind his head.

There was a moment of silence.

"So, how many suicide missions does this make, now?" Hobbes asked, turning to Socrates.

"Ooh... say... about five hundred forty two." Socrates said, tapping his chin.

"Sounds about right." Andy nodded.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

Fire blasted around the ship, as it rocketed out of Earth's atmosphere.

"OK, guys have a seat." Calvin said. "Sherman you're the whiz on all this, so you discus the various planets we're passing."

"No." Sherman said, grumpily.

"Whatever. You can just stare at them as we pass." Calvin yawned.

Hobbes, Socrates and Andy all sat down in some seats next to Calvin.

They stared out the window, as Mars flew by them and then out of sight.

Then, several asteroids flew by them as they entered the asteroid belt.

The ship kept picking up speed.

It wasn't long before the ship left the galaxy completely, and everything fell into darkness.

"Oo-kay." Calvin said, flipping some switches, and examining a small screen. "We have the Andromeda galaxy, which Rupert and Earl are from. That's a little far off, so we won't bother with that one. We have a couple of other galaxies here, in which the scientists who named them were lazy, unimaginative freaks, so they just gave them a bunch of random letters and numbers, and this other galaxy that appears to ridden with black holes."

"You didn't mention the Milky Way." Hobbes said.

"Hobbes, that's where we live." Calvin said, glaring at the tiger.

"Yeah, I know."

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"OK, we'll try this one." He said, grabbing the controls, and aiming the ship at another galaxy off to the side of the others.

The hyperdrive burst into life, and it rocketed forward towards the galaxy.

"Calvin, we really don't know what's in there." Sherman said, as the ship approached.

Calvin heaved a sigh.

"Would you all just relax? This is a totally harmless exploration of a different galaxy! We're the first people to do this, you know."

"Every time you tell me to relax, I panic." Hobbes moaned.

"Oh just be quiet." Calvin grumbled.

Suddenly, blue clouds rushed against the windows, then dispersed, and suddenly the ship reentered a starry background.

Calvin sighed.

"Ah, isn't this great?" He said, looking around.

There was a pause.

"Well? Isn't it?" Calvin demanded, turning around.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Whatever." Socrates nodded, grinning.

Calvin glared at them.

"Oh come on, we're just in another galaxy it's not like..."

Just then, the radar began beeping.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all jumped.

Then, they turned around, and stared at the small screen before them.

On the green background, only about three miles away from them was a dot, moving at a high rate of speed towards them.

Something was approaching the ship.

Something big.

Hobbes began moaning.

"I knew it!" he cried. "We're being attacked by some kind of aliens! We're all gonna die, and it's all Calvin's fault!!"

Calvin rolled his eyes.

He leaned forward, and began typing into his keyboard.

Sherman hopped out of Andy's pocket, and onto the panel, too, pushing some buttons.

The radar screen went blank, and in its place, some numbers flashed across it.

Sherman examined it, rubbing his chin.

"How big is it?" Calvin asked.

"It's about as big as our ship." Sherman replied.

"Very nice. Does it have any weapons?" Calvin asked, talking over Hobbes' groans.

There was a pause.

"Uhhh... no." Sherman said, confused. "They either have no weapons or they're all offline. This is... _weird..._"

"What is it, Shermie?" Andy asked, leaning forward and squinting at the screen.

"The ship's scanners don't want to recognize this other ship." Sherman said. "It's as if it doesn't exist or something."

There was a moment of silence.

"How..._mysterious!_" Socrates said, in a creepy voice.

Sherman ignored him, and continued.

"From what I can see, the radar is picking up, but the scanners are only telling me the bare minimum." He said, scratching his head.

Just then, a low humming reached Hobbes' ears.

He stopped moaning, and listened.

Slowly, the chair and looked out the window.

"Oh my..." He began, his eyes growing.

"Did you check all the instruments?" Sherman asked, turning to Calvin.

"I just got the stupid ship. Of course I didn't check them all!" Calvin spat.

"Calvin?" Hobbes said.

"Well, there must be something wrong with the main hardware. I'll take a quick look at it. You keep an eye on that ship."

"_Caaaaaalvin._" Hobbes hissed.

"The ship is brand new!" Calvin shouted, throwing his hands to the sky. "There can't be anything wrong with the hardware!"

"Well apparently there is." Andy said.

"CALVIN!!!" Hobbes shouted, finally.

"What?" Calvin asked, turning around.

Hobbes pointed out the window.

Calvin looked around.

His eyes popped open.

"Hmm?" Socrates asked, looking up, "Did I miss something?"

He looked out the window, and his mouth fell open, and his eyes bulged.

Andy looked out too.

"There's nothing wrong with the hardware." Sherman said, stepping out a small compartment. "Maybe some wiring is off. I need to..."

The hamster turned around.

His eyes fell on the window before him.

"Huh?" He yelled, his mouth dropping.

Outside of Calvin's ship, floating only a few hundred feet away was... Calvin's ship!

The exact same ship, and three dark figures were standing in the windows, staring down at them.

"Well, this is unexpected." Socrates said.

"That's... that's..." Hobbes stammered.

"That's my ship!" Calvin yelled, pointing at the window. "What are those freaks doing in my ship!"

"Calvin, that' us!" Sherman growled.

"Huh?" Calvin asked, turning.

"Calvin, don't you see who those people are?" Sherman demanded. "That's us!"

Calvin turned, and squinted at the ship.

"That's not possible." Calvin said. "Those people are adults. Looks like our show's been spliced in with Star Trek or something."

There was a pause.

Then, a light came on in Calvin's eyes.

"Oooh..." He began.

"That's the futuristic us." Sherman said, expressionlessly.

"I see."

"What are _they_ doing here?" Andy yelled. "Surely we're not going to be in this ship that long!"

"Looks like a really long time, too." Hobbes said. "Look how beat up the ship is."

The ship was, in fact, in bad shape. Several of the windows were cracked, wires had been ripped off of the front, and the whole bottom part was missing.

It looked like something really bad had happened.

There was a pause, in which Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman just stared at the ship.

"Well," Socrates said, suddenly standing. "They have the answers. Let's go meet the neighbors!"

Socrates began walking over towards another part of the ship.

"NO!!" Sherman squeaked, holding his hand out.

Socrates stopped, and looked around.

"Hmmm?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We can't go out there!" Sherman said. "The brain can't cope with knowing its own future! You'd go insane!"

"Well, send him out, anyway." Calvin said. "He's already insane."

"Can't argue with him, there." Socrates grinned.

Sherman rolled his eyes.

"Look, I'll go over to the cockpit, and talk with them myself." He said, jumping off the panel.

"Oh,_you_ get to go see our future, but _we_can't?" Socrates said, crossing his arms.

Sherman sighed.

"Look, just wait here for a second so I can go talk with them." He said. "I'll be able to see what they're doing here."

"Whatever." Socrates sighed.

He yawned, and walked over to his seat.

He sat down, and stared at the ship next to him, playing with a slinky he had in his pocket.

Sherman made his way towards the cockpit.

He threw a nervous glance at the ship, took a deep breath, then moved forward.

Off to speak with his futuristic self, and Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Andy.

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes and Andy were now playing a game of poker in the mid-section of the ship. They were simply bored by the whole thing now.

Socrates was trying to keep busy, but he kept wondering.

"I don't see why the rat gets to see our future!" he complained. "I just want to know who I become and what I've made of my life!"

"Do you think that's wise, Socrates?" Hobbes asked. "What if it turns out that your future self is a space-crazy psychopath bumbling through the course of history with no sense of cause or ambition."

"Or worse, Socrates, you could've changed," said Calvin, not looking up from his cards.

Socrates grunted.

"You guys are telling me you aren't the least bit interested?" he asked.

"Curiosity killed the cat," Hobbes replied.

Before Socrates could rant any further, the door slid open.

Out stepped Sherman.

Everyone stared at him.

Sherman looked a little shell-shocked.

"Hey, Shermie? How'd it go?" Andy asked.

Sherman simply walked towards them, not saying a word. He quietly hopped up on the table.

Everyone looked at him.

"Well…?" Calvin asked.

Sherman looked at Calvin for a long time.

Then, he little hamster hugged Calvin's arm.

"Calvin, I love you!" he wailed.

Everyone jumped back in surprise at Sherman's sudden show of affection for Calvin.

Calvin was very creeped out by the fact that this hamster had a death grip on his arm.

"Sherman…?" he asked unsurely.

"I'd hate for you to go anywhere, not knowing that," Sherman continued.

"Calvin, there's a hamster hugging you," Hobbes said. "You want me to get the swatter?"

Sherman glared at Hobbes as he let Calvin go.

Calvin unsurely looked at the genius hamster.

"So, what's the deal, Sherman? What are they doing here?" he asked.

"Well, they _are_ our future selves. Fifteen years into the future, to be exact. Apparently we become time travelers in the future, living in space and using the Time Plucker to get whatever they need. Unfortunately, their Time Plucker has a fault, so they jumped to this point in time where they knew we'd be," Sherman explained.

"Wow, so I'm actually gonna meet me?" Andy asked. "Man, I didn't think I get all tongue-tied about meeting anyone until my first date!"

"No one is meeting anyone," Sherman said sternly. "I've been given orders to keep you all in the ship's sleeping quarters. You'll have your meals served there."

Then Sherman turned to Calvin.

"I found a box of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs in the supply bins in the cockpit. I'll let you have that," he said.

"Hey, cool! My favorite!" said Calvin.

Sherman began to tear up.

"I know!" he whimpered, walking away.

Calvin watched him go, confused.

"Why am I having cereal for breakfast?" he asked.

"Oh, I just thought since today had…no special meaning…and since you only have special meals on…not special days…I thought…"

Sherman began to tear up again.

"Oh, just go," Calvin said quickly.

"Thank you."

Sherman hurried into the next room.

Everyone sat there, stunned.

Suddenly, they heard Sherman sobbing in the next room.

It was incredibly awkward.

* * *

Sherman was soon preparing a bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. As he did so, he couldn't help but sniffle every once in a while.

Calvin snuck in.

"Sherman?" he asked.

"ACK!" Sherman cried, jumping in the air. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Calvin said quickly. "Listen, I want to talk about my future."

"There's nothing to tell," Sherman said, not facing him.

"Sherman, don't pull a Nixon on me!" Calvin said, eyeing the hamster closely. "I didn't survive, did I? I died, didn't I? One of my inventions finally blew? Rupert and Earl finally got me? My plans to prove the theory behind Bigfoot worked? What happened?"

"Calvin, I can't say. All I can say is that there were five of them," Sherman said.

"Yeah, but clearly I'm not amongst them, right?"

"One member of their party is named Calvin! Now please, I've already said too much!"

Calvin narrowed his eyes.

"Wait a minute! What are you trying to say? I survive? I'm alive?!" he asked.

"Calvin, please! Not on this, our most sacred of days, should we squabble!" Sherman yelled.

Calvin stared at him.

"Uh…okay. By the way, take it easy with the cereal. Otherwise, there'll be none left for tomorrow."

And he left.

Sherman watched him go, and then glanced at the box of cereal. He poured all the contents into the bowl.

* * *

In the bunk room, Calvin and Andy were working with a fuse box and a small TV.

Hobbes and Socrates were nearby.

"Look, fate's fate. It's set in stone," said Hobbes.

"Yeah, let's face it," said Socrates, enjoying Calvin's confusion. "If you died, we'll just have to move on and accept it…and I'll take good care of your stuff."

"Hobbes, if I _do_ die, you're not letting him set a paw on my stuff," Calvin ordered.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"What are you trying to do?" he asked.

"We're going to spy on our future selves," said Andy. "I'm trying to rig this old TV we got with the Time Plucker with the security camera's wires."

"Where_is_ the Time Plucker?" asked Socrates. "I haven't seen it since we boarded."

"I hooked it up to the ship," Calvin said, holding some wires for Andy. "It's down in the lower decks hooked up to the control panel in the cockpit so we could use it from there. How's it coming, Andy?"

"Just give me a few more minutes," said Andy.

* * *

Back down below, Sherman was helping the future crew dock with present day ship.

"Docking process completed," he said into a transmitter. "Gentlemen, welcome aboard."

An airlock opened up, and three sets of feet came walking through.

The first was Andy.

The boy was in his early-twenties now. His hair was shorter; he wore a yellow, padded jacket, red Dockers, black shoes and had an eye patch on what was once his left eye.

Sherman stared at his friend in surprise.

Future Andy was looking around the ship in disgust.

"Did we actually used to live like this?" he asked with a much deeper voice. "Goodness, it's hard to believe _anyone_ could live like this!"

As he continued on into the cockpit and through to the midsection, in walked the Future Hobbes.

Hobbes hadn't fared too badly. He had gray hairs in his fur and was a lot thinner, but in lot of ways, he was the same.

"Yeah, we're used to the better life now," he said. "Nice to see the young Vermin again."

"Some things never change," Sherman growled.

Then, last but not least, Future Socrates entered behind Hobbes.

Socrates had actually put on a few pounds, and looked a bit wimpier than before. Other than that, he looked about the same. He was also carrying two containers.

"Man, oh man," he said. "Back to my pranking days! Man, all the cruel things I did to you guys."

Sherman glared at him.

"Where am I?" he asked.

Socrates lowered the first container and pressed a button.

Sherman gawked at what he saw.

It was the Future Sherman. He was an elderly hamster who was a bit thinner, but he was inside a computerized ball.

"Oh my days…," Sherman moaned.

"Yeah," said Future Sherman. "As you know, there's no way in heck the average hamster can live more than fifteen years. So, to keep up with the others, I reprogrammed my plastic ball to be a chamber of ageless wonder. I remain at this point in my life and go no further."

"Frankly, I think you went a bit whacky," Future Socrates whispered to Sherman.

Future Sherman glared.

"I think we're overstepping the boundaries for appropriate conversation," Sherman said. "Is…Calvin…here?"

Socrates lowered the second container and lifted the sheet off of it.

It was a brain in a jar with a speaker on the side and wires hooked into it.

"Ah, Future Calvin!" said Sherman, trying to sound relieved. "You look terrific. I was expecting something _much_ worse!"

"Like what?" the automated voice of Calvin said.

"Like a _head_ in a jar, maybe."

"Aw, don't worry about me, Sherman. I'm fine! It's nice to get a bit of air!"

Sherman laughed nervously.

"Well, look at you! You've hardly changed at all! Why, if I hadn't been told about the accident, I don't think I'd even have noticed!"

Then he glared at the other Futures.

"Why couldn't you just let him die?!" he whispered angrily.

The others rolled their eyes.

* * *

Back in the sleeping quarters, Andy finished hooking up the screen.

"Yep! We're in!" he said.

Calvin immediately pushed him aside and looked over the image.

"How's it looking?" Hobbes asked.

"Whoa…," said Calvin. "Sherman's in his plastic ball and it's got little computers in it!"

"What about me?"

"Um…you aged…_somewhat_ gracefully," Calvin commented.

Hobbes looked at his withered self.

"Ick," he muttered.

"What about me?" Andy asked eagerly.

Calvin searched for Andy in the picture until he saw him.

"Oh…," he said, wincing. "Andy? You weren't a big fan of your left eye, were you?"

"What?!" Andy cried. "Let me see!"

"Wait, hold on! I'm still looking!"

"What about me?" Socrates asked.

Calvin could only start laughing.

"Hold on," he chuckled. "I want to see if I'm there!"

There was a pause.

"Well…?" Andy asked.

"I don't seem to be there," Calvin commented. "It's just you guys, Sherman…"

Then Calvin saw the jar. His eyes bugged out and his mouth hung open as realization dawned on him.

Hobbes quickly looked at the screen.

"Oh…dear…," he said, staring.

"What? Is he fat?" Socrates asked, laughing.

"Far from it," said Hobbes. "He's lost a bit of weight, actually. In fact, he's lost a bit of everything."

Socrates rolled his eyes and pushed Hobbes aside.

Then he gawked at the screen.

"What did I do to deserve that?" Calvin asked quietly.

"That is tragic," Socrates said sadly. "That is the saddest thing I have ever seen in my life. What the heck happened to my butt?! You could hide the entire United Nations behind me!"

"So what?" Calvin asked angrily. "You're fat! That happens! Look at_me!_ I'm just a brain in a jar!"

"Oh, you, you, you, self, self, self!" Socrates said angrily.

"Socrates, you're stuttering," Andy observed.

Calvin pushed them all aside.

"We've gotta find out what's happened to us!" he said, turning up the volume.

The conversations came through loud and clear.

Sherman was having a hard time with their future selves.

So far, they had complained that everything was so second rate.

"This soda is _diet_ soda!" Future Andy complained.

"It's disgusting!" Future Socrates complained. "How do you even get away with drinking this stuff?!"

"Well, pardon me!" Sherman retorted. "We don't have access to the finest beverages time has to offer! Want to have a marshmallow?"

"We did!" Future Hobbes objected. "All you have are those pathetic miniature marshmallows! You're trying to put us off with second best! It's an insult."

Future Sherman rolled over to Sherman.

"Sherman, we're businessmen now," he explained calmly. "We've been traveling throughout the whole of history, and we've been associating with those who have the best things in life, and then we use the Time Plucker to make copies for ourselves."

"I see," Sherman said unsurely. "And who is it that _has_ these wonderful things?"

"Oh, Julius Caesar, the Hitlers, Vlad the Impaler, Nero, Louis the XVI, and many more…," said Future Sherman.

"Ah, Louis," said Future Hobbes fondly.

"He's a complete delight!" Future Andy agreed. "He's witty, charming…"

"He was an idiotic treasonous dictator who lavished in luxury while the working class starved in abject poverty!" Sherman roared angrily.

"Huh, really?" asked Future Hobbes. "We didn't see any of that!"

"Yeah," said Future Calvin from his jar. "We've been hanging out with these people for years, and they've treated us quite well."

"Yep, we've lived the good life," said Future Socrates. "Just last week, we had poker night with Hermann Goering!"

Sherman was staring now, horrified.

"Look," said Future Sherman, noticing his expression. "You have to understand. We travel throughout the whole of history, and naturally we wanted to sample the best in everything."

"Right," said Future Andy. "It's just a bit unfortunate that the finest things tend to be the hands of those you might consider a bit dishonest."

Sherman laughed hollowly.

"Dishonest?" he asked. "You think Hermann Goering is a bit dishonest?! What's happened to all of you?! You've all abandoned your good will and morals! All you care about now is fulfilling your every desire!"

"And could we tell you some stories about that!" Future Andy laughed slimily.

They all laughed horribly.

Sherman growled angrily.

"I don't recognize any of you!" he snorted. "You're all self-serving amoral scum freeloading your way through life!"

Just then, there was a loud _BAM_ from up above.

Everyone looked up and saw that Calvin had blasted out of the sleeping quarters, using the MTM. Hobbes, Andy and Socrates were behind him.

They all had dark expressions on their faces.

"Okay, that's it," said Calvin, holding the MTM high. "You've got two minutes to get the heck out of here! I don't know how we became you, but there's no we'll help you keep doing what you're doing!"

Future Socrates promptly began to move towards the airlock.

"But we need to examine the telepathy programs on your Time Plucker!" Future Andy objected.

Calvin checked his watch.

"That's one minute forty," he said.

Now their future selves looked nervous.

"Shooting us would be like killing himself in the future," Future Hobbes sneered. "He won't do it."

Calvin grinned darkly.

"What have I got to lose? My jar?" he asked.

Immediately, Future Andy ushered the others to the airlock.

Future Hobbes picked up Future Calvin and Future Sherman.

"Okay, okay, we're going," said Future Andy.

"But without that data, we'll be stranded!" Future Sherman objected.

"Fifty seconds," Calvin said, checking his watch again.

Future Hobbes took the two containers and ducked down the airlock.

Future Andy paused for a moment.

"You'll change your mind. I guarantee it," he said. "It's your destiny."

_**ZAP!**_

Calvin had fired a warning shot.

"Thirty seconds. Get going," he said angrily.

Future Andy glared at Calvin and left quickly.

Soon, they managed to undock from the future ship, and they piloted themselves back towards the Milky Way.

They failed to notice that the future ship was slowly turning around towards them…

* * *

"I knew it would be a mistake to see the future," Sherman spoke up, his voice leaden. "Now our whole lives will be coloured by the fact that we're gonna end up becoming people we despise."

Hobbes glanced over at Sherman. However, before he could respond to the hamster's opinion, a soft double-beep issued from the panel in front of him, and he swung his eyes back to determine its source.

"Threat warning," Hobbes informed the others. "It's the vessel off the stern; they've got a missile lock on us."

Calvin half turned in his seat.

"What?!" he cried. "Sherman, I thought you said they weren't armed!"

"No," Sherman replied. "I said they were either unarmed or offline."

Then it dawned on Calvin what was happening.

"Our future selves are attacking us!" he said, his voice rising in disbelief.

"They're nuts!" Socrates fired the ship's thrusters. His desperate eyes vainly searched the empty space in front of them as it sluggishly pulled itself forwards.

_**WHAM!**_

It was a direct hit.

"The gyroscope's out!" Socrates reported, wrenching the suddenly treacle-mired control yoke almost ineffectually.

Hobbes reported, "Another lock!"

"Wait a minute!" Calvin cried. "If they have weapons, shouldn't that mean…?"

Calvin quickly searched the control panel and soon found what he was looking for. He pressed a button and a new set of controls appeared.

Outside the ship, a pair of laser-cannons appeared.

"Yes!" Calvin cheered.

Then there was a noise.

"Incoming message," Calvin offered in translation and punched buttons on his console.

A monitor screen resolved to a picture of the Future Andy.

"Gentlemen," the older Andy began, "we have no meaning of being deprived of the opulence and luxury the Time Plucker provides. Either you give us access to the data we need, or be ready to be blasted out of the sky."

"But if you kill _us_ then _you'll_kill_yourselves!_" Andy countered.

Future Andy sneered out of the monitor screen. "Better that than be forced to live like you," he said scornfully. "Your answer: thirty seconds."

The video image flickered and vanished and the channel closed, leaving the threat hanging in the air.

Socrates' eyes flitted between his friends anxiously. "So what do we do?" he prompted.

A pause carried out. Planets were born. Stars died. No one spoke.

Abruptly, Hobbes glanced over at Sherman. "Have we got any chance of winning?" he asked.

"Their craft is greatly upgraded," Sherman spoke clearly and without hesitation, holding Hobbes' gaze.

"We have no chance whatsoever," Andy put in.

Hobbes' first reaction, naturally, was to cower under the table until the bad men went away. Hobbes wasn't proud. However, even _he_ caught the note of finality: no way out.

His vanishing act for once could not save him now.

"Then I say 'fight'," Hobbes stated, with certainty.

Everyone stared at him.

"Hobbes?" Socrates asked.

"Better dead than a jerk," Hobbes told them, almost cheerfully.

"Yes!" Calvin exulted.

He'd had pretty much the same thought himself. There was no way this collection of geriatrics was going to push him around. Having it confirmed by Hobbes of all people, however, was something you just didn't stop to question.

"Socrates?" Calvin glanced to his right.

"Better dead than a wimp," Socrates grumbled.

"Andy?"

"Better dead than without both eyes," said Andy.

"Sherman?"

"Better_anything_ than that ball." Sherman shuddered at the memory.

"Shields up," Calvin called, punching buttons on the weapons console. "Arming lasers!"

"Bringing her around…," Socrates announced, skillfully compensating for the subdued response of the ship.

Andy and Sherman worked feverishly at the logistics console. "Target acquired," Andy called to Calvin, transferring the targeting data to the weapons console.

"Locking on…" Calvin held the last syllable as he aligned the ship's still-unfamiliar laser targeting system. "Firing!"

_**BRZAP!**_

_**WHAM!**_

"Direct hit, starboard thrusters," Andy reported. "Nice shooting!"

"Bringing her around for dessert!" Socrates laughed.

Hobbes wasn't so jubilant, however. "Threat warning!" he called. "They've got a lock-on!"

Calvin heard him, but knew they had neither the time nor maneuverability to do anything about it.

"I'm going for the main fuel tanks," Calvin informed Sherman, and the hamster began grappling with the necessary calculations. The math portion of his brain groaned in protest.

"They're in your sights!" Andy said after a moment's computation, patching the data through to Calvin's targeting computer.

"Locked on… Fire—"

Calvin didn't finish the word. As his lips prepared to form the closing 'ing', his finger a hair's breadth from touching the laser firing switch, the shot from the future crew found its mark, impacting upon the underside of their ship and ripping into its primary computer cores.

Thirty-two milliseconds later, the weapons control console went into a build-up of power that grew and grew with nowhere to discharge until the entire panel exploded in a concentrated burst of fiery sparks, red-hot metal and flaming electrical components. The deadly blast threw Calvin's body out of its seat and on to the floor between Hobbes and Andy.

"Calvin!" Andy cried, leaping from his seat to crouch beside Calvin and gently pressing his fingers to the side of the boy's neck.

"Is he okay?!" Socrates asked, his attention torn between wrestling with the increasing unresponsive controls and looking to see what had happened to his… well… for want of a better word, 'friend'.

Andy looked up numbly. "He's…dead…," he heard himself say.

Hobbes heard the words clearly enough, but somehow he couldn't see how they applied to the present situation. A sudden chill made him shiver. Calvin had been thrown to the ground. That was all. What was the melodramatic boy talking about? Obviously trying to make jokes. Yes, that was it.

An urgent flashing from console in front of Hobbes distracted him. He glanced down, and his heart flipped over. "The hull's gonna go," he blurted. "We'll _all_ be dead in a minute."

Perhaps using his words as a gruesome cue, the ship's ruined electronic subsystems concentrated their attention on Socrates' pilot's controls.

Socrates had barely torn his stunned gaze away from Calvin's body before the world around him suddenly seemed to turn white. Melted circuitry and hot shards of the control console blew out from the concentrated energy concussion explosion, blasting Socrates backwards to sprawl over Andy and Sherman's stand-up panel.

"Socrates!" Hobbes shouted, his mind reeling, and Sherman leaned forward and placed his fingers over the feline's pulse point.

"Dead…," the hamster said and sat down heavily.

Hobbes' mind suddenly stopped its self-defensive merry-go-round and decided to give his brain a chance, leaving him facing cold hard facts. Calvin and Socrates were dead. Those old jerks from the future had wiped them out! Hobbes felt his chest and throat tighten, confused and unfamiliar of the emotion causing it and glanced over at Andy and Sherman.

The hamster's eyes widened slightly, and he turned to look at Hobbes.

"But there may be a—," Sherman began intently, but that was as far as he got.

The complex, delicate equipment in the logistics wall-console behind Andy's head overloaded and exploded in an angry burst of fire, and a remedial implosive solidity slammed Andy's head back into the wrecked controls, and Sherman was blown by the explosion. Andy and Sherman slumped backwards, lifeless.

"Andy…," Hobbes gripped the corner of his own station, his fingers leaving grooves in the metal. "Sherman!"

Hobbes, in soul-consuming shock, scrambled over to the hamster and looked at him, unable or unwilling to accept the truth.

"There may be a what?" he pressed, ignoring the hamster's closed eyes. "A way out of this? Is that what you were gonna say?? Vermin!" Hobbes stammered. "_How can we change what's happening?!_"

Through his despair, something hit Hobbes. He turned and stumbled from the blasted cockpit and into the mid-section, and his eyes picked out Calvin's MTM. He grabbed the weapon, kicked open the hatch in the side wall and charged forward and barreled down to the ship's lower levels.

_(Wake me up) Wake me up inside…_

Through corridors he ran, the tortured ship shuddering and tearing it apart around him.

_(I can't wake up) Wake me up inside…_

A corridor section collapsed and a huge bulkhead crashed down onto his back, but Hobbes was oblivious to the pain.

_(Save me) Call my name and save me from the dark…_

One thought blotting out all consciousness: he must reach the Time Plucker.

_(Wake me up) Bid my blood to run…_

Suddenly, he found himself standing in front of it.

_(I can't wake up) Before I come undone…_

Hobbes raised the MTM.

_(Save me) Save me from the nothing I've become…_

Loaded.

_(Bring me to life)_

Fired.

_I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside._

Bright light blasted from the ruptured watch, and at the exact same time, seen from space, a streak of red fire launched from the twin ship ploughed into the battered ship.

With the impact of that final missile, no resistance remained. The ship lost its fragile grip on coherency and detonated completely, with an explosion that matched a thousand Death Stars. When the debris cleared, and the light faded, the ship was gone. There was no indication that there was ever anything there…

_(Bring me to life)_

* * *

Mom and Dad were sitting at the kitchen table sipping tea and reading.

Mom suddenly looked up.

"Have you seen Calvin at all today?" she asked.

Just then the door burst open.

Mom and Dad looked up in surprise.

They saw five figures standing in the doorway.

It was Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman. Their present day forms were alive.

"Oh, there you are, Calvin," said Dad. "Where have you been?"

"Oh, just fooling around," said Calvin innocently, with Hobbes slung over his shoulder. "We're just going up to my room. Come on, guys."

They quickly scurried up to Calvin's bedroom.

Once they got there, Calvin reached into the hypercube and started pulling out sodas.

"Soda pops all around, boys!" he said. "It's time to celebrate! Good ol' Hobbes destroyed the Time Plucker, therefore deleting our future selves and saving us all!"

Hobbes took his soda.

"Yes, no good deed goes unpunished I suppose," he said.

Calvin held his soda up high.

"Let us agree right here to never let the life of luxury hit us so hard we forget everything we stand for!" he said.

"Agreed!" everyone said, holding their cans high.

"And now, I propose a toast," Calvin said, opening his can.

Everyone did the same.

"To the present!" Calvin said, putting his can forward.

"_To the present!_" the others said while clinking their cans.

Then they all took a big swig, followed by one big spit-take.

"ICK!" said Andy. "This is _diet_ soda!"

**The End**

**Voice Work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon** Calvin / Future Calvin  
**Tom Hanks** Hobbes / Future Hobbes  
**Ryan Stiles** Socrates / Future Socrates  
**Andrew Lawrence** Andy  
**Colin Mochrie** Sherman / Future Sherman  
**Bill Murray** Dad / Future Andy  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt** Mom

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Pranking the Ghosts 


	9. Pranking the Ghosts

**Summary: **When strange things start happening around Halloween, Calvin and Hobbes begin suspecting that Socrates' two hundred year old mansion is haunted.

* * *

_ And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

The screen starts out black. In the background there's the sound of two men arguing, followed by a gun shot.

The sound of a man moaning in pain is heard as well as footsteps and then the slamming of a door.

Bright red letters fade onto the screen, followed shortly by the title card.

_**Nobody has lived there in over fifty years...**_

**Pranking the Ghosts**

Halloween was the next day in Calvin and Hobbes' neighborhood. The streets were decorated with Jack-O-Lanterns, inflatable ghosts and witches, plastic gravestones, and one house even had a cardboard vampire that growled at you when you stepped on a button.

The camera pans down the street to Calvin's house and slowly starts to zoom in on it. A voice rings out.

"HOBBES!!"

Calvin was searching the house in vain.

"HOBBES, I ORDER YOU TO GET OUT HERE AND FACE YOUR FEARS!"

Hobbes would not come out.

"I'M GOING TO COUNT TO THREE, AND THEN I WANT TO SEE YOUR STRIPY BUTT OUT HERE! ONE! TWO!"

"Calvin, stop yelling!" Mom groaned.

"But I can't find Hobbes!" Calvin complained.

"Well, that's nice, but you don't need to broadcast it coast to coast! Just look for him _quietly_."

Calvin's eyes popped open.

"Of course!" he said. "If I continue to shout for him to show up, he'll know where I am and get farther away from me! On the other hand, absolute silence means absolute secrecy! It so crazy it just might work!"

Mom rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Just be quiet."

"Check."

Mom walked away, leaving Calvin to his own devices.

Being as quiet as he could, Calvin slipped around the house, checking every direction for Hobbes.

Then he noticed something.

There was a sound coming from nearby. A sort of metallic rattling sound was heard.

Calvin grinned and listened carefully.

It was coming from behind a door in the hall.

He opened it and saw the water heater behind it. He opened the door on the side of it, revealing Hobbes to be cowering inside.

Calvin grinned smugly.

"It's amazing what you'll find if you just clam up," he told the audience.

Then he spoke to Hobbes.

"I don't even wanna know how you got in there," said Calvin.

"It's probably for the best," Hobbes replied, climbing down.

"Hobbes, this is ridiculous! Halloween is just a day for kids to get candy and be under the false delusion that they're scary."

"But…but the ghost…!" Hobbes whimpered.

"Oh, we haven't seen him for two years! What makes you think he's gonna come back now of all times?!"

Hobbes thought as hard as he could for an answer.

Calvin continued. "Besides, we have to get ready for the candy raid! We're going for a big run this year! I've got my Stupendous Man costume ready for the year! I asked Mom to make you a Tiger Lad costume. It's essentially a blue mask and cape."

Hobbes looked at him unsurely.

"Uh…," he said.

"Come on! I'll show you!"

Calvin took Hobbes up to their room and ducked into the closet. He came back out holding the blue mask and cape.

"Here! Try them on!"

Hobbes looked uncertain, but he complied with the request. He put the cape on around his neck and placed the mask over his head. Then he looked at himself in the mirror.

"Hmmm…," he said. "Not bad. Cape's the right length… The mask extra ear holes…"

"Yeah, it's a piece of work," Calvin said, looking it over. "Think you're ready to take on the world of evil as Tiger Lad?"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"I'm not sure I want to be named Tiger Lad," he sighed.

Calvin simply grinned and pulled out a plastic pumpkin that had a handle on it.

"Candy, here we come!" he said, grinning madly.

Hobbes grinned.

"Eh, who knows?" he said. "Maybe we'll have a normal Halloween for once."

* * *

Meanwhile, at his mansion a few blocks down, Socrates was hard at work. He was setting his house up for the annual Halloween pranks. While he was trick-or-treating with the others, he would leave the pranks to go off on their own, therefore keeping any other trick-or-treaters from taking the candy at his house.

Right now, he was sitting at his desk drawing on some blueprints.

"Alright, let's see…," he said. "If I put the ropes on the sidewalk and cover it with leaves, I should be able to fling them into the wading pool filled with ketchup, and then an anvil will land on the opposite end of the teeter-totter, and fling the kid and the pool over my house and into the forest!"

Then he remembered something. He quickly drew a few more pictures on the blueprints.

"Just add some mattresses on the landing target," he said quickly. "Don't want to hurt some little kid."

With that, he rolled up the blueprints and took them towards the door.

"Alright, now to start construction," he said cheerfully.

Whistling to himself, he left his room and made his way towards the elevator.

As he walked, however, he heard a noise coming from above him.

_CREEEEAAAAK!_

Socrates looked up.

"Hello?" he asked the ceiling.

Nothing happened.

Socrates shrugged it off and carried on towards the elevator.

_CREEEEAAAAK!_

Socrates whipped around and glared at the ceiling.

"Stop it!" he ordered.

_CREEEEAAAAK!_

Socrates continued to stare.

"Huh," he said. "That's the attic."

He decided to investigate, so he went down the hallway again and came to a part of the hall where the ceiling had a door in it with a rope dangling from it.

Setting the blueprints aside, Socrates jumped up and grabbed the rope and with a good hard yank, managed to pull the door down, revealing some wooden stairs. Quietly, Socrates scurried up them and into the dusty attic.

When he got there, he found tons of boxes and such, but nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hello?!" he called. "Anyone up here, because if you are then you shouldn't have put the stairs up! Hello?"

_CREEEEAAAAK!_

Socrates heard the creaking floorboards again.

Gulping, Socrates looked around a bit more thoroughly. He searched some of the attic, but soon got bored and started to leave.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered. "There's no one here."

_CREEEEAAAAK!_

Socrates jumped.

"Except you," he said to no one in particular.

He quickly ran down the stairs and slammed the stairs back into the ceiling and slamming the door back into place.

There was a pause as he picked the blueprints back up.

"Well, that was weird," he muttered, and he made his way down the hall to the elevator again.

As he walked, he passed a bathroom that had its door open. As he passed it, the door suddenly slammed shut.

_SLAM!_

Socrates jumped.

"What the heck…?" he asked.

_SLAM!_

Suddenly, his bedroom door slammed shut.

Socrates stared at it.

_SLAM!_

Another door slammed shut.

Feeling as though someone was watching him, Socrates made a mad dash down the hall towards the elevator again.

_SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!_

Socrates ran past all the slamming doors in slight panic and quickly dove into the elevator, quickly slamming the doors shut.

He sat in the elevator, gasping for air.

"Phew!" he gasped. "What is going on?!"

Cowering in the elevator, he couldn't shake the feeling that eyes were looking at him. He checked all around the small room, but he knew he was alone.

"Okay, okay," he said, catching his breath. "Pull yourself together… Nothing's happening… It's all in your imagination…"

_DING!_

"MOTHER!" he shrieked, jumping in the air.

Then he realized that the elevator had just stopped moving, he meaning he had to get out now.

"Oh, I knew that," he said, standing up again.

Brushing himself off, he left the elevator and made his way to the front door.

"Everything is fine," he whispered to himself. "It's just the house. I'll talk to Elliot about getting it fumigated."

And with that he walked calmly out of the mansion.

But when he went to close the door behind him, the doors suddenly slammed themselves shut.

_SLAM!_

Socrates stared at them in surprise.

Then he noticed something on the doors.

There were gold plaques that were covered in grime that he had never noticed before.

Squinting carefully, he noticed they said, "Established in 1805."

Socrates grinned.

"Well, that explains it!" he said, feeling relieved. "The house is just over a hundred years old! Phew! Glad that's over!"

And with restored vigor, Socrates set off to set up his Halloween prank.

* * *

Later that day, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman arrived at the mansion to find Socrates busily raking some leaves.

"Hey, Socrates!" Hobbes called.

Socrates looked up and waved.

"Hello, boys! Happy Halloween's Eve!"

Everyone stopped and stared at him.

Socrates stared back.

"Uh…," said Andy at last. "Are you aware of how incredibly _lame_ that sounded?"

Socrates flinched. "Yes, yes, I am just now realizing that."

Calvin rolled his eyes and proceeded to walk down the walk to the mansion, but Socrates stopped him.

"Whoa, hold it, Cally!" he called. "You don't want that to detonate too soon!"

Calvin halted and stared at him.

"Want what to detonate too soon?" he demanded.

"My Halloween pranks!" Socrates explained. "Every year, while I'm out trick-or-treating, I set up different pranks all around the mansion. I have set up approximately twenty-one booby traps around this entire building."

"Mm-hmm," said Sherman. "I'm guessing your raking the leaves has something to do with one of them?"

Socrates nodded. "Yep. Prank number twelve," he said proudly.

The others rolled their eyes.

"Anyway, what brings you all here?" he asked.

There was a pause.

"What are you talking about?!" Calvin shouted. "You called us!"

Another pause.

Socrates' face lit up.

"Oh, right! Come on in! Watch your step there, Calvin. You're about to step into Prank Number Seventeen!"

Calvin carefully stepped over a patch of ground, and they carefully followed Socrates as though he were a sheep in a field of landmines.

They entered the mansion and looked around.

"Be careful around here," Socrates warned. "Some doors have been randomly slamming for some reason, so don't stick your fingers through the open ones."

The others simply nodded.

As they headed towards the stairs, Calvin noticed someone walking away from them down a hallway.

"Hey, Socrates," he said, turning away from the hall for a second. "Who's that?"

Socrates looked down the hallway Calvin was pointing to.

"Who?" he asked.

Calvin looked at the hallway.

Whoever it was had vanished.

"Huh," he said. "That's odd. I saw someone walking down there."

Socrates shrugged.

"Eh, it's probably just an insurance salesman friend of Elliot's parents," he replied. "They have a lot of important friends come around here sometimes."

And with that, he led the others up the stairs.

Calvin paused to look down the hallway again, and then followed them upstairs.

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stood in Socrates' bedroom, waiting for him to come out of his closet.

"So, what's this costume?" Andy asked, leaning back on the bed.

"You'll see!" Socrates said from inside the closet.

"I beginning to doubt that very much," said Calvin, glancing at his watch.

"Oh, you guys have no appreciation for suspense."

"Hey, I'm still waiting for Red Dwarf wrap up that cliffhanger that's been hanging there for nearly nine years," Sherman snorted. "How's about getting that costume on before then, huh?"

"Fine, fine, I'm ready," Socrates said.

Suddenly, Socrates burst from the closet in a Batman outfit.

"TAA-DAA!" he said triumphantly.

Everyone stared at him in surprise.

"Okay…," Calvin said at last. "Now what?"

There was a pause.

"Uh…," Socrates said awkwardly. "I guess I'll take it off now."

Everyone groaned.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Calvin sighed, and he walked out the door.

Calvin looked around the hallway and spotted the bathroom just down the hall.

As he approached it, he heard footsteps. Thinking it was one of the others, he turned around to look.

Then he saw that it was that same man again, but he was walking away from him and going down the stairs.

Calvin arched an eyebrow, but simply waved it off and went into the bathroom.

Hobbes, Andy and Sherman were waiting for Socrates to come back out of the closet.

As they waited, the door slammed shut.

_**SLAM!**_

They all jerked their heads up.

"What was that?!" Socrates shouted from inside the closet.

"I think Calvin slammed the door shut," said Hobbes, walking over to it.

He attempted to open it, but suddenly found it was locked.

"What the heck…?" he said, grunting as he pulled the door.

Andy and Sherman watched in confusion.

"CALVIN, OPEN THIS DOOR!" Hobbes shouted.

Socrates stepped out of the closet and looked at him.

"Oh, hang on," he said, pushing Hobbes aside. "Let me see."

Socrates pulled on the door as hard as he could. He strained as he tugged at the handle.

"Come on, come on!" he moaned.

"Calvin, this isn't funny!" Andy said through the door. "Let us out!"

"Here, let me try something," said Sherman.

They all cleared a path for Sherman, who quickly squeezed himself under the door.

They paused for a moment.

"Uh, Calvin's not here," said Sherman from behind the door.

The others exchanged glances.

* * *

Calvin, meanwhile, had just finished his business, and he set to work on washing his hands. He was quietly humming to himself as he went about it, and he was just toweling off when he heard a noise.

_CLUNK!_

He stopped and looked up.

"What was that?" he asked.

_CLUNK!_

He looked all around the bathroom. He couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

_CLUNK!_

Then he saw the air ducts.

_CLUNK!_

Arching an eyebrow, Calvin climbed up onto the counter and looked inside the vent.

_CLUNK!_

Looking determined, Calvin pulled a screwdriver out of his pocket and started to unscrew the cover on the vent. Four screws later, he was able to shine a flashlight more carefully into the vent.

He looked up into for a long time, but he could see the source of the noise.

"That's weird," he said.

As he got down from the counter, he heard another noise.

_CLICK!_

This one came from the door.

It was the lock.

"What the…?" he pondered.

He tried to open it, but then found he was trapped.

"Hey, let me out! SOCRATES, YOUR DUMB DOOR PRANKED ME! LET ME OUT!"

* * *

By now, Sherman had found a hairpin and was carefully picking at the lock, and soon, it clicked open.

"Got it! Try it now!" he called.

The doorknob he was sitting on suddenly turned and he slid off and grabbed onto it again, more frantically this time.

"Careful!" he shouted.

Hobbes opened the door.

"There we go!" he said triumphantly. "Now then, where's Calvin?"

They looked around as Andy scooped Sherman back up and placed him on his shoulder.

"LET ME OUT! I CAN'T LIVE IN A BATHROOM! IT'S MY WORST NIGHTMARE!"

They all turned and heard the pounding coming from the bathroom door.

"Oh, there he is," said Andy casually.

They walked over and tried to open the bathroom door.

"Calvin, what are you doing in there?" Hobbes asked.

"Being trapped! What's it look like? GET ME OUT!"

Andy took Sherman in his hand held him up to the lock.

Sherman carefully picked the lock, and they were able to get Calvin out.

"Finally!" Calvin complained. "Now what's the big idea trapping me in a bathroom?!"

"We were just about to ask you the same question!" said Socrates, glaring at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"We were just locked in my bedroom!"

"Oh, so you guys get a room with a bed, and I get the room with a tub? That hardly seems fair!"

There was a long pause.

Suddenly…

_SLAM!_

They all looked up.

A closet door suddenly slammed shut.

"Oh, by the way, I think something's up with your air ducts," Calvin said, showing him the removed air vent cover. "There was a weird clunking sound."

"Something weird is going on around here," said Hobbes, looking around nervously.

_SLAM!_

The bathroom door slammed shut again behind Calvin, who jumped in surprise.

_WHAM!_

They looked back at the end of the hall and saw that the attic stairs and fallen out of the ceiling.

They stared at them in shock.

"Uh…Socrates?" Andy asked. "How much did your family know about this house before they bought it?"

Socrates nervously shook his head.

"Don't worry," he said. "The house is just really old! Over one hundred years! It's nothing!"

The others looked at him unsurely.

"Well, maybe we should get going," said Hobbes.

"Yeah," said Calvin. "I'm not sure I should be here anymore."

Calvin and Hobbes started running towards the stairs, and Andy and Sherman followed after them.

Socrates continued to look around at the now closed doors.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman rocketed to the stairs.

Then they spotted the man Calvin had seen earlier.

"Hey!" Calvin shouted. "Excuse me! Who are you?"

The man didn't stop. He just walked past the base of the stairs and disappeared around the corner.

Calvin ran after him, but soon found that the man had vanished.

"Hey, where'd he go?" he demanded.

Hobbes grabbed his shoulders.

"I don't know, and I don't care!" Hobbes said frantically. "Let's get the heck out of here!"

They all ran from the mansion, leaving it behind.

Socrates was left behind, because, well, let's face it, he lives there. He just stood there, looking around nervously.

* * *

The next day was Halloween.

Calvin and Hobbes were dressed as Stupendous Man and Tiger Lad, and they were getting ready to leave.

"Have fun, Calvin," said Mom.

"Oh, we will," said Calvin, who was incredibly excited. "Let's go, Hobbes!"

Hobbes followed on behind Calvin, holding his own plastic pumpkin.

"Okay, I think I'm okay," he said. "I should be just fine."

Just then, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.

"WE'RE FINISHED!" he shrieked, promptly diving into some bushes.

"Hobbes, it's just us," said Andy.

Hobbes looked and saw Andy wearing an alien costume. It was a shiny silver cloak with two silver balls sticking out the top of his head.

Sherman was on his shoulder, but he wasn't in costume. He was rolling his eyes at Hobbes.

"You're a disgrace to your own kind," he snorted.

"Thank you," said Calvin, nodding to Sherman.

Hobbes grumbled and climbed out.

"Where's Socrates?" he asked.

"He's coming," said Andy. "By the way, Calvin, I looked up the information on Socrates' mansion like you asked me to."

"Great. What'd you come up with?" Calvin asked.

As Andy was pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket, Socrates came up in his Batman outfit.

"Hey, guys!" he said triumphantly. "Ready for trick-or-treating?!"

"Yeah, just a minute," said Calvin, waving him off. "What did you find, Andy?"

"What's going on?" asked Socrates.

"I looked up the history of your mansion, Socrates," said Andy. "The info I got was pretty grim."

"What's it say?" asked Hobbes.

Andy read from the paper.

"Well, the house itself was built in 1805," he said. "It says there was an accidental killing in that house during the tenure of the first owners."

Everyone raised an eyebrow.

Andy continued.

"Afterwards, only five more families lived in it as the years went on, and each one only lasted a few years, and they all vanished shortly after moving out. The house would just sit there for several years at time in between families. Finally, no one lived in it from 1953 until now, when Socrates and Elliot and those other people moved in."

There was a long pause.

Socrates finally snorted.

"Nonsense," he said. "It's probably just… It can't be a… It's not haunted, alright?!" he insisted.

The others stared at him.

"Look, can we just go trick-or-treating now?!" he complained.

"Fine, fine," said Calvin, "but I want to take a more thorough look at that house tonight."

Socrates rolled his eyes.

"Do what you want," he said. "You're not gonna find anything!"

The others shrugged and started trick-or-treating.

* * *

A few hours later, Calvin and Hobbes were arriving back at home, both struggling under the weight of the full candy pumpkins. They were loaded to the brim.

"Come on, Hobbes," Calvin grunted. "Let's get these up to our room, and then we can go scope out Socrates' mansion!"

Hobbes simply grunted in response.

Mom looked up from her book.

"Well, I see you had a good night," she said.

Calvin simply nodded and headed up to the stairs.

"Well, it's time for bed, so you can enjoy your candy tomorrow," she said.

Calvin looked up.

"But Mom, we need to go to Socrates' house and figure out what's up with the haunting!" he exclaimed.

Mom rolled her eyes.

"Yes, well, that's too bad," she said. "Now go to bed."

Calvin groaned angrily, and then shoved the candy pumpkins and Hobbes upstairs.

Once there, Hobbes immediately started to get into bed.

"Well, so much for that," he said. "We tried, we failed, goodnight."

Calvin stopped him.

"Hobbes, we're still going," he said.

Hobbes stared at him. "But your mom said we couldn't!"

Calvin arched an eyebrow and stared at him.

Hobbes sighed.

"Right, I forgot. You don't care."

"Correct. We'll sneak out."

Hobbes groaned.

* * *

Later that night, Calvin and Hobbes tied their bed sheets together and lowered them out the window, and then loaded the bed with pillows to make it look like they were still there.

Quickly, Calvin armed himself with all the inventions he could grab, and then they slowly climbed down the sheets.

They checked around the street and spotted Andy and Sherman just down street waiting at their house.

They quickly joined up and ran down to the mansion to face God knows what.

* * *

Cautiously, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman walked up Socrates' walkway.

...In order to avoid all the booby traps he still had set up.

Slowly, Calvin opened the door, and peeked inside.

Socrates had all the lights on.

Calvin stepped into the house, the hypercube held in his hand.

"S–Socrates?" He started, as Hobbes, Andy and Sherman entered.

"Yes?" Socrates called.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman turned, and looked into the livingroom.

Socrates was sitting on his couch, munching on candy and watching David Letterman.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at him.

"Gee, Socrates," Andy said. "You just found out that your house is being haunted by a tormented spirit. You sure are taking it well."

"Oh, come on," Socrates insisted. "My house isn't haunted. I've been here long enough to know that."

There was a pause.

"He only moved in, what, two years ago?" Hobbes asked.

Socrates rolled his eyes.

"Look, if you guys are so insistent on searching my house, then be my guest." He said. "Elliot's parents are at some Halloween party and Elliot is at some other Halloween party, so you have the whole place to yourselves. Just leave me out of it."

"Oh come on, Socrates!" Calvin demanded. "You know as well as I do that something is going on here. You're part of it, whether you like it or not."

"Pppppthhh." Socrates said, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head.

_CREEEEEEEEAAAAK!!_

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all looked up towards the attic.

_CCC–CC–CCC–CCC–CREEEEEAK!!!_

"That's been happening all day." Socrates grumbled. "Stupid two hundred year old house."

"Socrates!" Sherman growled. "_It's not the house!_"

Suddenly, the door leading to the closet slammed shut.

_SLAMM!!_

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman jumped.

Socrates stood up, and started walking towards the kitchen.

"Socrates, come on!" Hobbes yelled. "You can't blame _that_ on the house!"

"Just watch me." Socrates sniffed.

Just then, something else happened.

Something that made Socrates's blood run cold.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUGGH!!!!!!"

A terrible shriek filled the entire house.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman froze.

There was a long moment of silence.

Socrates' eyes went up towards the attic.

"Was_that_ the house, Socrates?" Andy asked, nervously.

Socrates eyes went from Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman then back up to the attic.

Then, he heaved a sigh.

"OK, fine." He said. "We can scout the house out. Just so I can prove to you that there's nothing here."

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman nodded.

"OK, Calvin said, as Socrates walked up them. "Here's the plan,"

He began pacing back and forth in front of them.

"We're going to explore the house. Every single crack. But, we need to stick together. It's _extremely_ important that we stick together. Now then..."

Calvin turned back to the group.

Hobbes had disappeared.

Calvin stared at them for a long throbbing moment.

"OK, maybe we better split up." He said, finally.

Socrates did a solute.

"I'll go through the bottom floor here, Andy Sherman, you take on floor two, Socrates, you can handle the top floor, and Hobbes can check out wherever it is he's at right now."

"What about the attic?" Andy asked.

"We'll meet back at this spot in one hour and we'll secure the attic all together." Calvin said. "Here, each of you take an invention."

Calvin reached into his pocket, and pulled out the hypercube.

He pulled out three inventions. The MTM, the Time Pauser, and the Scream Horn.

He handed the Time Pauser to Socrates and the Scream Horn to Andy.

"Crateso, if the ghost attacks you just freeze time with that and get the heck out of there!" Calvin ordered.

"Uh huh" Socrates said, rolling his eyes.

Calvin turned to Andy and Sherman.

"The Scream Horn creates a pretty ear rattling screech." He said. "If the ghost comes after you, this should be enough to slow it down so you can get away."

"_Should?_" Sherman demanded.

"Well, what do you want, a gold plated guarantee?" Calvin demanded.

"Yeah, actually that would be nice." Andy said.

"Too bad. I'm all out of those." Calvin replied.

Andy, Sherman and Socrates rolled their eyes.

"Alright men, move out!" Calvin yelled, spinning around. "We'll meet back here at one hundred hours!"

And with that, Calvin rushed off, holding the MTM.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman paused.

"Did he mean at one in the morning, or in four days?" Socrates asked, finally.

"Just get in the elevator." Sherman sighed.

Socrates shrugged, and the trio turned and walked towards the elevator.

"Alright, MTM," Calvin said, looking around the livingroom. "You are me eyes and ears!"

A hologram popped out of the machine.

_When did you become deaf and blind?_

"Shut up," Calvin growled. "I need you to scan this entire house for any increase in radioactivity or whatever it is ghosts increase."

_Processing..._

Calvin waited.

Then, the hologram changed.

_Abnormal magnetic activity in current location._

"Pin point." Calvin ordered.

_Radioactive increase in ten yards due west._

Calvin looked around

Everything seemed normal.

The livingroom was empty.

But Calvin couldn't shake the feeling of someone watching him.

Just then, he saw the faint outline of someone standing in the doorway to the closet.

Calvin whipped around.

"MTM, Flashlight!" He ordered.

Light streamed out of the tip of the MTM, and shown in the closet.

There was nothing there.

Calvin stared at it for a long moment, his eyes wide, the slowly began walking away, his eyes cutting from side to side.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hobbes was walking down the hallway on the second floor, looking around, nervously.

He came to Socrates' room.

Very slowly, he opened the door, and looked inside.

All the lights were on, and there was no one there.

Hobbes walked into the room, and closed the door.

He sighed, and sat down on Socrates' bed.

He looked around, terrified, making sure he was totally alone.

_BRRIIIIING!!!_

Hobbes jumped.

"YIKES!!!" He screamed.

He landed in a heap on the floor, and lay there, shivering.

_BRRIIIIIING!!_

Hobbes leaped to his feet, and looked around, frantically.

_BRIIIIING!!_

Suddenly his eyes fell on the phone on the desk next to him.

He snatched the receiver up, and pushed the ON button.

Then, he paused.

Very slowly, he held the phone up to his ear.

"H-hello?" He began.

* * *

Socrates was walking down his hallway, humming to himself, and carrying the Time Pauser along with him.

Everything had seemed normal so far.

There had been no more loud creaks from up in the attic and none of the doors around him had slammed shut.

He kept walking, looking around, casually, and whistling some random tune.

Suddenly, he stopped.

His eyes widened, as he looked straight ahead of him.

There was a darkened figure walking down the hallway away from him, slowly.

It was limping, slightly.

"HALT!" Socrates ordered, holding a hand up.

It kept walking.

"I am ordering you!" Socrates declared, pointing at it. "Stop or face the consequences!"

It kept walking.

"I'm warning you!" Socrates said, starting after it.

It kept walking.

"Alright, you asked for it, bub!" Socrates declared.

He whipped the Time Pauser out.

"Time to for no time!" He declared.

He pushed the button.

_**BOOM!!**_

A spiraling white shockwave exploded from the sides of the pauser, and spread out, stopping time, completely.

Socrates' eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open.

The figure kept walking.

The Time Pauser had had no effect on it!

The figure rounded a corner, and disappeared from sight.

Socrates watched in pure shock.

He looked down at the Time Pauser.

He stared at the little screen on the front.

TIME OFF

There was a long moment of silence.

Then, he heaved a sigh.

"Good one, Calvin," He muttered.

He pushed the button again, and kept walking down the hall.

Suddenly, he heard something.

Breathing. Heavy, raspy breathing.

He turned and looked over his shoulder.

He didn't see anything.

The breathing got louder, as if it was getting closer.

Socrates looked around, nervously, and rushed off down the hallway.

The breathing followed him.

Socrates raced through the hall, desperately, then finally came to a dead end.

He looked around at the wall in front of him.

Then, he heard a deep exhale behind him.

He spun around.

Suddenly, the light hanging at the end of the hall burned out, throwing that part of the hallway into darkness.

_KA-COOM!_

Then, the same thing happened to the next light over, and the darkness continued.

_KA-COOM!_

Then,it happened to next lamp, except this time, right when the light got brighter before going out, Socrates saw something.

_KA-COOM!_

It was a man. His skin was deathly pale, his head was hung low over his chest and he was limping.

Socrates backed into the wall as far as he could.

The lights all up the hall started going out, and with each blow out, it showed the man getting closer.

_KA-COOM!_

_KA-COOM!_

_KA-COOM!_

_KA-COOM!_

_KA-COOM_

Socrates began walking sideways along the wall, until he realized something.

There was a door right next to him.

Socrates grabbed the doorknob, ripped the door open, and rushed inside, just as the final light in the hall went dead.

_KA-COOM!_

* * *

Meanwhile, Andy and Sherman were walking along the second floor, looking around, nervously.

"Sherman?" Andy asked.

"What?" Sherman replied.

"Suppose there _is_ a supernatural force invading this place," Andy began.

"Mm-hmmm," Sherman said.

"What is an extra powerful megaphone going to do to him?"

There was a long moment of silence.

"Calvin's the one who gave it to you, not me." Sherman said, finally.

Andy sighed.

Just then, he stopped.

"What?" Sherman asked, looking around.

"Listen," Andy whispered.

There was a pause.

Then, Sherman heard it.

Heavy breathing.

Very slowly, Andy and Sherman turned, and looked to their right.

Right beside them was a wooden door.

Andy and Sherman stared at it.

"Where do you suppose that leads to?" Andy asked, quietly.

"I dunno," Sherman said. "Dungeon, torture room, blood thirsty zombie, the mansion's balcony."

Andy looked at Sherman.

The hamster pointed at the door, again.

Andy looked around.

There were a pair of windows on each side of the door, both showing the outside.

"Ohh, good," Andy sighed. "I could go for some fresh air."

Without any hesitation, Andy walked over and opened the door.

He walked out onto the balcony, and looked around.

"OK," he said, putting Sherman down on the glass table, and sitting down in the swing. "I declare this part of the house spook free."

Sherman looked around.

"Andy, shouldn't we be getting back into the house?" He asked, quietly.

Andy looked around at him.

"Why?" He asked.

Suddenly, the light hanging on the balcony's roof, began flickering.

Andy and Sherman looked up at it.

The light was flickering like mad, then suddenly, died.

There was a pause.

"Eh," Andy shrugged. "We still have the bug zapper as a source of light."

_ZZZZZZT!!_

Right on cue, the blue light on the bug zapper went dead.

There was another pause.

"Well, I have my flashlight," Andy said, weakly, reaching into his pocket.

"You just don't want to go back in, do you?" Sherman sighed.

Andy rolled his eyes around.

"OK, look, to prove I'm not afraid..."

Andy stood up, and turned his flashlight on.

He then turned, and faced the door.

Suddenly, Andy gasped, and he dropped the flashlight.

Just as he shown the light on the window, he saw the pale face of a man staring out at him from it.

"What?!" Sherman asked, wheeling around.

"I saw... someone... some_thing!_" Andy gasped, backing up into the side of the balcony.

"Look, look, don't panic!" Sherman said, holding his paws up. "It was probably just the reflection off the window."

Andy ran over, out of sight of the window, and scooped Sherman up.

"Sherman, there was _something in that window!_" He hissed. "It was _staring_at me!"

"Well come on!" Sherman shrugged. "Ghosts have every right to stare at you as the next guy."

Andy turned and gave Sherman a totally blank stare, showing absolutely no emotion.

There was a pause.

Sherman blinked.

"OK, you can stop now." He said. "I get the point."

"The point _is_, I'm not going back in there!" Andy said, looking back up at the door in terror.

"Well, we're gonna have to go back in, _eventually._" Sherman protested. "Let's just move in, and keep that horn thing at the ready. If any rate, it will at least slow it down. If it's even there."

Andy took a deep breath.

"OK... OK... I'm going." Andy breathed, holding his chest.

He picked the Scream Horn up off the ground, and moved towards the door.

He was inches away from it, when suddenly, both he and Sherman thought they heard something.

A voice. A quiet whisper.

"_Don't go in that house..._"

Andy and Sherman looked behind their shoulder. An expression of pure fear on both their faces.

Suddenly, a pale hand reached out from the darkness, and grabbed Andy's arm.

Andy head spun around, and he tried to scream, but it died in his throat.

The hand yanked Andy and Sherman forward.

There was a loud whooshing sound, and suddenly, Andy and Sherman found themselves back inside the house.

"Hey!" Someone yelled.

Andy and Sherman spun around, and held up the Scream Horn in panic.

"STAY BACK!!" Andy warned, switching the machine on.

"Relax!" Calvin yelled, holding his hands up. "It's only me!"

Andy and Sherman looked around.

They were in the livingroom, again.

Andy slowly lowered the Scream Horn, shivering.

"Sorry, we're kind of on edge." Sherman said.

"I can tell." Calvin said, raising an eyebrow. "How did you get down here so quickly? You're supposed to be up on the second floor."

"Long story short," Andy said. "We hate this place. Can we leave?"

"No," Calvin said, glaring at them. "We stay until the ghost either kills us or we get rid of it."

Andy and Sherman groaned.

"I'm trying to track the ghost down right now with the MTM." Calvin said, moving forward, holding the CD player in front of him. "With any luck, we might be able to contact the guy and tell him to get lost."

Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.

"Now, MTM," Calvin continued. "Track down all radioactivity increases."

A hologram shot out of the MTM.

_Well, for starters, your standing right in the _middle_ of an abnormally magnetic spot._

Calvin blinked.

"Thanks, MTM, don't know what I'd do without ya," He grumbled.

Just then, all the doors around Calvin, Andy and Sherman slammed shut.

_SLAM!_

_SLAM!!_

_SLAM!!_

_SLAM!!_

_SLAM!!_

The trio looked around in terror.

"Help..." Andy whimpered.

* * *

Meanwhile, Socrates had wandered downstairs, and was currently walking down the hallway on the second floor.

You think he was terrified? Walking around, shivering and staring at all the darkened doorways in pure horror? Oh no, he was walking quite casually down the hallway. He was even whistling the Doctor Who theme song to himself.

I have no comment on this.

Socrates walked over to his bedroom door, and opened it.

First thing he spotted was Hobbes, shivering in the corner, staring at the telephone, which was laying on the ground with a dial tone coming from it.

"Hey, Hobbo!" Socrates said, cheerfully. "Are we going to go with mildly mortified, terribly disturbed or medically insane?"

Hobbes glared at Socrates.

"I can't believe you can prance through a haunted house, and keep that weird attitude of yours." He growled.

Socrates shrugged.

"Eh, it's my house, I'll act any way I like in it. Ghosts or not." He said. "What's the problem?"

"I just got a phone call from some vampire ghost thing screaming into the phone." Hobbes replied.

Socrates blinked.

"I get those phone calls all the time." He said. "I watched this video tape, once. Something about wells and wrinkled up teenagers or something like that. Real bad movie. Can see why they didn't put it on DVD. Anyway, as soon as I was done watching it, I got this freak on the phone telling me I had seven days to live."

Hobbes stared at him.

"One week later, all my TVs got stuck on that Relacore weight loss commercial. For weeks, afterward, I had to listen to that idiotic announcer reciting that stupid Relacore slogan! '_Relacore: The belly fat pill... ZZZZZT!!! Relacore: The belly fat pill... ZZZZZT!__Relacore: The belly fat pill...' _I about went insane!!" Socrates shouted, dramatically.

Hobbes stared at him.

"Couldn't you just turn the TV off?" Hobbes asked.

"What, are you mad?" Socrates demanded, offended. "It was my brand new 30 inch plasma screen! I needed to test it!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Well, anywho, one o'clock is in forty five minutes, better go check in on Calvin." Socrates said, standing up. "Care to join me?"

"Sure," Hobbes sighed, standing up. "Don't have anything better to do."

"That's the spirit!"

Socrates frolicked over to the door, and opened it.

Hobbes sighed, and followed.

Just then, he stopped.

So did Socrates.

Both tigers stared at the wall in front of them.

Hobbes' eyes rolled into the back of his head.

All the way down the hallway, the wall was covered in black hand prints.

There was a pause.

"Huh," Socrates finally said. "The ghost found my finger paint."

Hobbes glared at him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin, Andy and Sherman were still standing in the middle of the livingroom, frozen in terror.

The doors had all slammed shut, and all lights had gone out.

Nobody dared moved.

Just then, a hologram popped out of the MTM.

It glowed in the darkness as Calvin read over the message.

_Long range scans confirm radioactive decrease at 30 percent_

Calvin looked around.

"It's... it's leaving!" He grinned.

"Where's it going?" Andy asked.

Calvin typed into the MTM.

The hologram changed.

_Abnormal magnetic activity fifty feet skyward._

There was a moment of silence.

"That's the attic." Calvin said, quietly.

_CREEEEEEAAK!!_

Calvin, Andy and Sherman all looked upward in terror.

_CCCC–CCC—CCREEEEEEAK!!!_

Calvin spun around to the MTM.

"OK, MTM, things are looking bleak!" he hissed. "Quick, provide comedic relief!"

The hologram changed.

_No._

Calvin stared at it.

"Fine, who needs you!" He growled at it.

He looked back up at Andy and Sherman.

"OK, we need to find Hobbes and Socrates," He said. "Where are they?"

"Present!" Socrates suddenly said.

Calvin, Andy and Sherman jumped.

Hobbes and Socrates had been standing beside Calvin for twenty seconds.

Calvin glared at them.

"How... do you do that?" He growled through gritted teeth.

"Because," Socrates said, patting Calvin on the head. "So, Creepo's in the attic?"

"Yeah," Andy said. "Which means we should _avoid_ the attic at all costs!"

There was a long moment of silence.

"TO THE ATTIC!" Socrates declared.

Andy, Sherman and Hobbes groaned.

Calvin pulled his hypercube out.

"Alright, I have just about all my inventions." He said. "We could probably take the ghost on."

"What do you have?" Sherman asked.

"The MTM, Scream Horn, Time Pauser..."

"Doesn't work on ghosts," Socrates pointed out.

Calvin glared at him.

"Of course the Time Pauser doesn't work on ghosts. They exist outside of time. What did you think?" He demanded.

Socrates opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it.

Calvin turned back to his inventions.

"Mega-Shrinker 5000, Transmogrifier Gun and, of course, the hypercube."

"Sounds good to me," Socrates grinned.

"What's the plan?" Hobbes demanded.

"Walk through a dreary attic, spot a few interesting things that might help us, stare at them for a while, get attacked by ghosts and die." Calvin replied.

"He's_so_ positive," Andy growled.

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all stared up at the attic door.

Very slowly, Calvin reached forward, and pulled the rope, to bring the stairs down.

It didn't move.

Calvin yanked on the rope.

It didn't budge.

Calvin lunged against the rope, this time.

This succeeded in only breaking the rope.

Andy, Sherman, Hobbes and Socrates exchanged glances.

Calvin growled, and threw the rope away.

He turned on the MTM.

He pointed it at the sides of the trap door, and pushed a button.

_ZAP!_

A laser shot out of the CD player, and hit the crack between the door and the ceiling.

Calvin ran it along the sides, back and forth.

With each round, his expression got darker and darker.

Finally, he shut the laser off.

"Whatever is in there doesn't want _us_ up there!" He growled, angrily. "The nerve of him! He's wiping out a perfectly good suspense scene!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Socrates tapped his chin.

"Ya know," He thought out loud. "There's _another_ entrance to the attic."

Andy, Sherman and Hobbes all turned and glared at Socrates.

"Right, good move, Crateso," Hobbes growled.

"Really? Where?" Calvin asked, eagerly.

"Follow me," Socrates said, walking off.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman exchanged glances, then moved forward after Socrates.

"Right here," Socrates said, pointing at a door on the wall. "Right here leads to a little room with a staircase up to the attic."

"Why didn't we just use this entrance?" Calvin demanded.

"The other one was creepier." Socrates shrugged.

"Okay, fine," Andy sighed. "Let's just go and get this over with.

He walked over and tried the doorknob.

The door didn't move.

"Oops, it's locked." Andy said. "Guess we can't go in. Too bad! I was really looking forward to that. Can we go now?"

Calvin ignored Andy, and walked up to the door, holding the MTM.

He held the CD player in front of the door.

"Take it out," He growled.

_KA-BOOM!!_

Hobbes, Andy and Sherman watched, helplessly as a blast of electricity shot from the MTM, and the door swung wide open.

"There we go. An entrance." Calvin said. "Socrates, after you."

He pointed into the room.

Socrates' eyes popped open.

"_Me?_" He demanded. "Why do _I_have to go first?"

"Your house. Move it." Calvin growled.

Socrates looked back and forth between Calvin and the door, sighed, then walked inside.

He looked around the small, dark, room.

He was unaware of a pale face staring at him with wide eyes, from up in the darkness of the attic.

"OK, the coast is clear." He grinned, turning to the group. "And here's the ladder."

He took hold a wooden ladder before him.

He looked upwards.

"And up there is the attic! Gold mine! Come on in!" He grinned.

"You two must _enjoy_ attempting suicide." Hobbes muttered.

"We're adventurers." Calvin replied. "Let's go."

Calvin then started towards the door.

_SLAM!!!_

Calvin, Hobbes Socrates, Andy and Sherman all jumped.

The door had slammed shut.

Trapping Socrates inside.

"HEY!" Socrates shouted.

He rushed over and tried to open the door. It was locked.

"HELP! OPEN THE DOOR!" Socrates wailed.

Outside, Calvin held the MTM up over the door.

_ZZZZZT!!_

Another barrage of electricity blasted at the door.

Hobbes, Andy and Sherman covered their faces as it did so.

Calvin turned the MTM off and looked over at the door.

It was still shut.

Calvin glared at the CD player.

"I told you to open it! What's your problem?" He demanded

A hologram popped out.

_The sudden increase in radioactivity has blocked the electric blast. Deal with it._

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at the message.

"Thanks a bunch," Calvin grumbled.

_CREEAAAAAK!!!_

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all looked up towards the ceiling.

_CCCREEAAAAAK!!!! GROOOOOAAAAAN!!_

Their eyes moved across the ceiling, following the sound, as it went for the room Socrates was in.

Socrates looked up at the opening above him, which lead to the attic.

_K-K-K-K-K-K-K CREEEEEEAK!!_

Suddenly, from the darkness, a pale man leaned over the side of the attic opening, and its eyes fixed right on Socrates.

Socrates' eyes burst open.

The man lowered his head down, his eyes wide and bloodshot, and moved towards Socrates.

There was a pause.

Then, Socrates reacted.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!" He screamed, backing up against the wall, and flailing his arms in all directions.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, and Sherman jumped in alarm at Socrates' sudden outburst.

"HEEEEELP!!!!" Socrates shrieked, yanking at the doorknob. "THING!!! CREEPY!! NOT WANTING TO BE IN HERE AT THE MOMENT!!! WEIRD!!! PLEASE DON'T EAT MY BRAINS!!! I'M WARNING YOU!!! YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT ME!!! _I'VE BEEN CONSUMING CANDY ALL NIGHT!!!!_"

The ghost moved forward, its eyes still wide, and its mouth hanging open, slightly.

"Get out of the way," Andy said, stepping in front of Calvin and Hobbes.

He held up the Scream Horn, and pointed it at the door.

He flipped the switch to the ON position, and pulled the button on the handle down.

_**SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHH!!!!!**_

An ear piercing shriek emitted from the megaphone, rattling the walls.

The lock on the door clicked, and swung open.

Socrates came tumbling out.

Andy quickly turned the Scream Horn off.

He, Calvin, Hobbes and Sherman rushed to his side.

"Socrates, are you alright?!" Hobbes demanded, in terror.

Socrates looked around.

He stood up, and straightened himself up.

Then, he pointed at the door.

"Do_not_ go in there!" He said. "WHOOO!!!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"You're so weird." Calvin growled.

Socrates nodded and grinned.

"Well what do we propose we do, now?" Sherman demanded. "We can't get into the attic, this place is still haunted..."

"And Elliot and his parents are going to be coming home in about ten minutes," Socrates yawned, checking his watch.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at the red tailed tiger.

"Socrates," Hobbes began.

"Mmm, yes?" Socrates asked.

"Have you ever felt like you might be going insane?"

There was a small pause.

"Well," Socrates began.

"Of course he hasn't," Calvin growled. "Because it's already happened! You've just been attacked by a ghost, and your standing there as calm and bored as ever, and you've just informed us that we have ten minutes to de-haunt this place?!?"

"Yep, that about sums me up." Socrates nodded.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman groaned, loudly.

"OK," Calvin said, holding the MTM up. "We may still be able to get up into the attic."

"I wouldn't highly recommend that," Socrates stated.

"That's nice." Calvin said. "MTM, activate the transporter."

There was a moment of silence.

"Your MTM has a transporter?" Hobbes demanded.

"Yup." Calvin grinned. "It's pretty cool, too. Only there's one problem to it."

"What?" Andy asked.

"It drains just about half of the batteries." Calvin replied. "And due to the amount that I've used it since the last time I recharged it, we're probably going to be left with enough fuel to throw panic-y electric blasts around for about a minute or so."

Socrates, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at Calvin for a long moment.

"This is crazy," Hobbes sighed.

_Teleportor activated._

"Ah, very nice," Calvin grinned, reached for the PLAY button.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Socrates asked.

"Nope." Calvin said.

And with that, he pushed the button.

_KAZAP!_

Immediately, Calvin and the gang all disappeared, and suddenly reappeared.

Inside the attic.

"Activate flashlight," Calvin said, as soon as they appeared.

Light poured out of the MTM, filling the attic with light.

There was nothing there. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked around.

There was a moment of silence.

"I wonder if this place being haunted will effect the property value," Socrates considered, tapping his chin.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman turned and gave Socrates bewildered stares.

Socrates looked around the group.

"What?" he asked.

"Let's just find the ghost and get rid of it, Socrates," Andy said. "Then we can worry about the resale value,"

Socrates shrugged.

Calvin scanned the attic, moving the MTM's flashlight from side to side.

He looked in all the boxes, and checked all the corners.

Then he turned to Socrates.

"Socrates, this place is filled with _blueprints_!" He exclaimed.

Socrates nodded.

"Yeah, so?"

"You have an entire attic up here, and your cramming it with _prank_ ideas?" Calvin demanded.

"What's wrong with that?" Socrates shrugged.

Calvin stared at him.

"Well what did you _think_ I did with my prank plans when I was done with them? Throw them away? I like to keep records!"

"Socrates, your crazy! There are blueprints wrapped up in the boxes, tied up in corners, taped to walls..."

He pointed at the wall, which was totally invisible, as it was covered in blueprints.

"I mean come on!"

Calvin ripped on the blueprints off the wall.

There were a pair of eyes behind the wall of blue paper, staring off to corner of the attic.

The second the paper was pulled away, the eyes bolted around, and fixed on Calvin.

"ACK!" Calvin exclaimed.

"HELP!!" Hobbes screamed.

"MOTHER!!" Socrates shouted.

"AAAUGH!" Andy yelled.

"GASP!" Sherman cried.

Calvin began backing away, aiming the MTM at the wall.

"OK, spook!" He ordered. "I command you to identify yourself!"

The ghost stared at him.

"I am ordering you!" Calvin glared. "State your identity!"

It stared at him.

"What was your name in your previous life?" Calvin demanded. "HEY! I'm talking to you!"

"Yes, good, Calvin, _please,_ provoke it." Hobbes said.

The ghost continued to stare at him.

Calvin glared at the ghost.

"OK, bub, if you don't want to be social, then too bad! Your gonna be! MTM! Engage!"

Suddenly the fan on the MTM roared to life, and started spinning.

All the paper flew from the wall in a blast of wind.

There was nothing behind it. Nothing but a wall.

Calvin growled.

"OK, this is really starting to get frustrating!" He warned. "Here we are stretching this story out, so _you_ can be creepy and weird. SHOW YOURSELF!!!"

Suddenly, several boxes in the room, shot off the ground, and began hovering in the air.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked around in terror.

Calvin stood his ground, and glared off into the darkness.

"Yeah, right, what are you going to do?" He demanded. "Give us paper cuts? MTM, override!"

Electricity surrounded the tip of the MTM.

_ZZZZZZZT!!_

The boxes all fell back to the floor.

Suddenly, the ghost appeared in front of Calvin.

It was a tall man who was balding, and wearing old fashioned clothes. His eyes were bloodshot.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUGH!!!!!" It screamed, its eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"AAAUGH!!" Calvin screamed, stumbling backwards.

The ghost vanished.

"Now you knock that off!" Calvin ordered. "You're a full grown ghost! I would expect you to be a little more mature than that!"

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman began backing into the wall, rolling their eyes.

The attic began shaking.

Calvin stood up, and looked around.

"Hey!" he shouted. "Stop this at once! Calvin the Bold _commands_you!"

The attic kept shaking, and now, there were screeches of pain accompanied with it.

Calvin looked around in terror.

"What are we going to do?!" Hobbes wailed.

"RETREAT!!" Calvin screamed.

_ZOOM!!_

Hobbes had vanished.

How is Hobbes able to do that, especially with an insane ghost rampaging through? Again, I have no idea.

Calvin stared at the spot where Hobbes once stood.

"OK," He growled. "FOLLOW SUIT!!!"

There was a mad scramble, and Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman rushed over to the door.

Calvin ripped the door open.

The ghost was behind it, hanging from the ceiling. Its eyes wide and its mouth hanging open.

"Uuuuuuuuuuhhhh!" It groaned, lowering down to Calvin's eye level.

Calvin slammed the door in its face.

"NOT THAT WAY!!!" He screamed, whirling around.

"Well, don't _hurt_ it!" Socrates said, his brow furrowing.

Andy tried the trap door, trying to get out.

"It's still stuck!" He cried.

"How did that stupid cat get out of here?" Calvin growled.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!" A haunting moan rang out through the attic, and the shaking worsened.

Calvin looked all around the attic, his mind racing.

"Hold on a second!" He yelled, suddenly. "I'm getting a plan!"

He spun around to Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

Instead, he saw the wrinkled, wide eyed, gaping face of the ghost.

"UUUUUUUUUUHH!!!!" He gasped, reaching for Calvin.

"Back off!" Calvin growled, holding the MTM up.

The ghost vanished, revealing a terrified Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

Calvin ran up to them.

"From what I've heard on those TV documentaries on the Scifi Channel, ghosts are essentially just gas and electricity!"

They stared at him.

"Yes...?" Andy growled, through gritted teeth, motioning him to continue.

"We have to burn something!" Calvin grinned. "If I'm right, then the intense heat will drive it away! Being electrical and magnetic it couldn't stay! It would blow up!"

Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at Calvin.

"Or it will destroy my house," Socrates said, finally.

Calvin sighed.

"Socrates, put this into perspective. There's a twenty five percent chance it will destroy everything in here. But exactly what do you think the_ghost_ is about to do to your house?"

Socrates looked around.

Everything was still shaking, and it was obvious it wasn't going to keep standing for long

"Alright," Socrates said, finally. "But what did you intend on burning, exactly?"

Calvin's eyes went to the several boxes of blueprints next to him.

Socrates' eyes burst open.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed. "NO! No, no, no, no, no, _NO!!!_ Extreme No-ing! NO!!"

"Do you have any better ideas?" Andy asked.

"Yeah, there's that for instance," Socrates said, pointing over his shoulder.

Calvin, Andy and Sherman turned.

There was a pile of wood behind him.

Calvin, Andy and Sherman stared at it for a long moment.

"You keep your _firewood_ in your _attic?_" Sherman demanded.

"Something wrong with that?" Socrates asked.

Calvin rolled his eyes, and ran over to the pile.

He grabbed a couple pieces of wood, and carried them over to the floor.

Sherman studied the wood.

"Maple wood?" He asked, turning to Socrates.

"Yep," Socrates nodded. "Nothing burns better than maple wood."

Calvin rolled his eyes.

Then, he stood back, and turned the MTM on.

Suddenly the door Calvin had attempted to go through, flung open.

Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked around.

A pale hand was reaching over the top, and pulling itself up into the attic.

"HURRY!!" Andy screeched.

Calvin frantically pushed some buttons on the MTM.

The ghost began pulling itself into the attic.

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!" It moaned, lifting its head up, and staring at Calvin with its bloodshot eyes.

_Electrical defense activated  
Warning: Low batteries_

By this time, Socrates, Andy and Sherman had retreated to the wall, again.

Calvin looked up.

The ghost was gone.

Calvin looked around.

Suddenly, it reappeared in front of him.

"GAAAASP!!" It shrieked.

"ENGAGE!!!" Calvin screamed.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning shot from the MTM, and struck the logs, which immediately went up in smoke.

The ghost disappeared, again.

The wood suddenly caught fire, and began throwing up a thick cloud of smoke.

The house stopped shaking.

"Mmmmm.. Nice and cozy, isn't it?" Calvin grinned, holding his hands out to the fire.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.

There was a loud groan through the house.

Calvin turned a grin onto Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

"Remember this. The only way to beat a ghost is to attack it with a camping oven!"

Socrates, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

By this time, the house had stopped shaking, and the violent screeches had stopped.

Calvin turned back around.

The door was still open, and the ghost was no longer there.

Instead, there was a thick greyish smog floating on the ground, below the smoke.

Calvin and the rest stared at it.

It lingered for a second, then, suddenly bolted forward.

Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched, as it zipped past them, and slipped through the crack in the window.

There was a small pause.

"Well, that was easy!" Calvin grinned. "The ghost is gone!"

"Off to bother some other house." Socrates sighed.

"Right! Not our problem, though!" Calvin chuckled. "MTM, put out the fire!"

Instantly, a blast of water burst from the tip of the MTM, and landed on the logs.

_SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!_

A large cloud of smoke went up, and the fire was extinguished.

"Well," Calvin said, looking back towards the window. "Fires out, your house has been un-haunted, and all is as it should be. Now then, where's Hobbes?"

"I'm here," said a voice.

Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman wheeled around.

Hobbes stared at them.

Calvin lowered the MTM.

"How do you _do_ that?" he growled, through gritted teeth.

Hobbes shrugged.

"Well, anyway, the mission was a success," Socrates said, stepping forward. "Now I can get some well deserved rest,"

"We never did find out who that guy was." Andy said, suddenly.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates turned and stared at him.

"Well we didn't," Andy shrugged.

"Actually, I did some more research on it, and found out who it was," Sherman said.

"Really? Who?" Hobbes asked.

"His name was Issac Avox." Sherman said.

There was a long moment of silence.

"What kind of mother names their kid _that_?" Calvin demanded.

Sherman shrugged.

"Anyway, he was the first person to live in this mansion." The hamster continued. "And he was a gambler. He often made a lot of deals that he couldn't back up. And, uh, a lot of people didn't like him..."

There was a pause.

"Yeah?" Socrates asked. "And then what happened?"

"I told you," Sherman sighed. "There was a killing in that house. Someone who Issac owed money to shot him."

There was a long moment of silence.

"So... he was ghost from then on?" Hobbes asked.

"Yep," Sherman nodded.

There was another pause.

"Huh, weird," Socrates said. "Well, anyway, Elliot and his parents are going to be home any minute, now! So I suggest you all get lost!"

Calvin glared at him.

"With pleasure," Andy said. "I can't _wait_ to get out of this house!"

Andy then said his goodbyes to Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates, and rushed off with Sherman.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates watched them go.

"Well," Hobbes said, turning around. "I suppose we'd better be heading back, also before Calvin's parents figure out he's missing from bed."

"Yep-er-doodles!" Socrates grinned.

"There's still one last thing that I don't understand though," Calvin started, tapping his chin.

Hobbes and Socrates turned and stared at him.

"Where did the ghost go?" Calvin asked, turning to the two tigers.

There was a long pause.

"Maybe he went to the bar to get some boos." Socrates suggested. "Get it? _Boos?!_"

"Socrates, have you ever noticed that every time you tell a joke, it's even worse than the last one you came up with?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes," Socrates grinned.

Calvin and Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Well, it doesn't concern us, right now, so I'm not going to worry about it." Hobbes said.

"Good point, Hobbes," Calvin nodded. "Oh, and just so you know, that documentary I saw told me that ghosts can't actually hurt people or kill them. All they can do is scare you half to death!"

There was a long moment of silence.

Hobbes and Socrates turned murderous glares onto Calvin.

"I guess I should have mentioned that, earlier." Calvin considered, rubbing his chin.

"Socrates, what would you think about an early April Fools day, tomorrow?" Hobbes asked, turning to Socrates.

"Not a problem," Socrates said, cracking his knuckles. "You see why I keep records of my pranks?"

Calvin looked back and forth between Hobbes and Socrates and gulped.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of the neighborhood, Moe was sleeping soundly in bed.

He had a huge bag of candy beside the bed. Most of it what he bullied out of other kids.

Suddenly, Moe heard something that made him wake with a start.

_K-K-K-K-K-K-K CREEEEEAAAAAAAK!!!_

Moe sat up in bed, and switched his lamp on.

"Hello?" He asked, looking up towards the attic.

Silence.

"Anyone there?"

Silence.

"Or not...?"

Silence.

Moe looked around for a moment, then suddenly, acquired a serious expression.

"Idiot, there's no one there. What am I, three?"

And with that, Moe laid back in bed, and switched the light off.

_CLICK!_

**The End?**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon** Calvin  
**Tom Hanks** Hobbes  
**Ryan Stiles** Socrates  
**Andrew Lawrence** Andy  
**Colin Mochrie** Sherman  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt** Mom  
**Bill Murray:** The ghost  
**Elizabeth Daily **Moe

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Hypercube 


	10. Hypercube

**Summary: **Calvin and Hobbes get trapped in the hypercube.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie_

**Hypercube**

"CALVIN!! CALVIN, IT'S TERRIBLE!!!!" Hobbes yelled, exploding into Calvin's room.

"I'll say it is!" Calvin shot back. "If I don't do this math test right, Miss Wormwood said she'd destroy my future."

"Who cares about your insane future?!?!?" Hobbes shouted. "_**WE'RE OUT OF TUNA!!!!!!**_"

"How on Earth am I going to ace this thing before tomorrow?" Calvin snarled. "What do I look like? Some kind of human calculator? Look at this! I have three pages worth!"

"We have to go into the Tuna Emergency Announcement System!" Hobbes yelled. "You tell your Mom, I'll pitch empty tuna cans at your dad!"

"Hobbes, are we talking about the same thing?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure. What were you talking about?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Focus Hobbes! We need some way to get this test done! I don't know what to do!"

"You might try actually doing it." Hobbes suggested.

"Yeah right." He said, rolling his eyes. "Get real, Hobbes, I need an easier way to do it!"

Hobbes sighed.

"That's predictable." He sighed.

There was a pause.

"You know, we're out of tuna," Hobbes said.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Fine, Hobbes, Mom is going to the grocery store." He grumbled. "I'll tell her to pick up some tuna on the way."

He stood up from his chair, and walked out of the room, grumbling to himself.

He walked down the stairs into the living room.

There he saw Mom and Dad standing by the front door.

They were all dressed up, with Dad in his best suit and Mom wearing lipstick and a yellow dress.

Calvin stared at them.

"Uhhhh... Kinda fancy way to get ready for the grocery store..." He began.

Mom and Dad stared at him.

"What?" Dad asked.

Calvin glared at them.

"I thought you said you were going to the grocery store!" he said.

"We are." Mom said.

"And then we're going to see a movie." Dad said.

"WHAT?!" Calvin exclaimed, his eyebrows jumping. "You can't do that!!"

"Why not?" Mom asked.

"Well for one, you haven't consulted me!" Calvin yelled.

Mom and Dad rolled their eyes.

"Look, Calvin we're only going to be gone for a couple of hours, so don't destroy anything while we're gone." Dad said.

"Fine with me. Just as long as your not dropping me off with the Derkins or having Rosalyn coming to babysit!"

Mom and Dad exchanged glances.

"Well, Calvin, actually..." Mom began.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!" Calvin screamed, rushing up the stairs to his bedroom. "HELP ME!! HELP MEEEEEE!!" 

Hobbes looked up from his Wild Cats Encyclopedia in time to see Calvin burst into the room.

"HOBBES!" He shrieked, frantically. "BARRICADE THE DOOR! NAIL PLY WOOD TO THE WINDOWS! CALL THE SCI-FI CHANNEL! _ROSALYN IS COMING!!!_"

Hobbes jumped in alarm.

"ROSALYN?!" He yelled in terror.

There was a pause.

"You_ did_ tell your mom to get tuna, right?" He asked, finally.

Calvin glared at him.

"Hobbes, this is more serious than your dumb tuna addiction! We have to find some way to defeat Rosalyn, tonight!"

Suddenly, car headlights shown through Calvin's window, and cast shadows around the room, and the sound of a car pulling into the drive was heard.

Calvin and Hobbes froze.

The sound of someone getting out of their car, slamming the door behind them came from outside.

There was a long moment of silence.

Then, the doorbell rang.

_DING DONG!_

"SHE'S HERE!!!" Calvin screamed, holding his head, and jumping around in circles. "THE BABYSITTER FROM HELL IS STANDING OUTSIDE OUR DOOR!!_WE HAVE TO __**DO **__SOMETHING!!!_"

Hobbes looked around, frantically.

Calvin did also.

Then, Calvin's eyes fell on the hypercube, which was sitting a few feet away on the desk.

He blinked.

Then, he turned to Hobbes.

"Say, Hobbes?" He said.

"Hmm?" Hobbes asked, pausing from his panic and turning to Calvin.

"Our problems are solved!" Calvin said, a large grin spreading across his face.

Hobbes stared at him for a moment.

Then, his eyes went to the hypercube.

His eyes burst open.

"OH NO!!" He said, backing away. "NO! NO! NO! I'd rather _face_ Rosalyn then go in there!"

"Oh come on, Hobbes, it's just an empty dimension." Calvin said. "Filled up with all the stuff I've put there. Rosalyn would never suspect us to hide in there! It's totally harmless!"

"Right, just like the Mega-Shrinker 5000 is harmless. Just like the Time Plucker was harmless. Just like the MTM is harmless!"

"I never said those things were harmless." Calvin said, his brow furrowing.

"I'm not going into the hypercube, and that's final!" Hobbes said, crossing his arms.

"Fine with me." Calvin shrugged. "Get eaten by the vampire demon babysitter. Not my problem."

And with that, Calvin turned, and started walking towards the hypercube.

Hobbes watched him.

He blinked.

"Why do you have to put it that way?" He demanded.

"To make you come, why else?" Calvin said, picking the hypercube up, and placing it on the floor. "You coming or not?"

There was a pause.

Suddenly, the door slammed downstairs, and the sound of Mom and Dad's car engine revving up reached their ears.

Then, there was a voice.

"Calvin?" Rosalyn asked.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

Hobbes heaved a sigh.

"Alright, fine, I'll come." He grumbled to himself.

"Great! Come on!" Calvin grinned.

He crouched down, and jumped up over the hypercube.

A blue light shot out of the top of the cube, and Calvin was absorbed into it.

_SWISH!!_

Hobbes stared at it in pure horror.

Then, he stepped forward.

He held his foot over the top of it, and covered his eyes.

_SWISH!!!_

The blue light came outwards, again, and Hobbes was absorbed into the cube.

"YYIKES!!!" He shouted, as he was pulled inside.

Suddenly Calvin's room vanished in a blast of blue.

Hobbes slowly opened his eyes.

He was floating inside a seemingly endless dimension of swirling colors.

Red, blue and yellow were all around him.

Oh, and there were several other items floating along with him.

Comic books, empty boxes, out-of-date day calenders, miscellaneous toys, an entire work desk, some chairs and so on.

Then, Hobbes spotted Calvin.

He was sitting in one of the floating chairs, staring at Hobbes, blankly.

"There you are!" He said, his voice echoing inside the dimension. "About time you got here."

Hobbes looked upwards.

There was a small square opening right above him, and above inside it, was Calvin's bedroom.

Hobbes looked back down at Calvin, who had lost interest in the tiger, and was now looking around his surroundings.

"Wow, Hobbes, isn't this great!" He grinned, looking around. "I've never been inside the hypercube, before! It's amazing!"

He looked down.

There was a comic book floating by his feet.

He picked it up.

"The 10th Anniversary Double-Length Special Edition Captain Napalm issue?!" He exclaimed. "I've been looking for this, _forever!_ What the heck was it doing in here?"

He turned back to Hobbes.

"I mean, isn't it great though with everything we need being here and..."

Calvin stopped.

Hobbes had disappeared.

"Hobbes?" Calvin asked, looking around.

There was a pause.

Calvin's eyes slammed shut.

"I should have known you were going to do that." He hissed under his breath.

Calvin started forward, pushing stuff out of his way as he went.

Not only stuff you'd expect a six year old to have but stuff you'd _never_ expect a six year old to have.

A computer monitor, three Doctor Who DVDs, an entire door, a small TV, several cables and wires, puzzle pieces, a brick chimney, a floor mop, a life-size Star Wars figure of Darth Vader, and so much more.

It took Calvin over half and hour to root through all the junk he had in there.

"Geez, I need to clean this thing out," He commented shoving an empty bookcase out of his way.

Suddenly, Calvin's eyes fell onto an old oil drum, floating over by seventeen different shoes.

It was shivering.

Calvin rolled his eyes, and started towards it.

"Hobbes, get out of there," He grumbled, opening it up.

Hobbes was in there, staring up at Calvin, horrified.

There was a pause.

"GET_ OUT_ OF THERE!!!" Calvin ordered.

"YIKES!" Hobbes yelled, leaping out of the drum.

Calvin tossed the drum away, and glared at Hobbes.

"Great work, Hobbes, you've managed to get us lost in here! What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Hobbes blinked.

"Uhh..."

"We have an entire dimension in here!" Calvin yelled. "You can't just wander off like that! We have no idea how large this place is! It could be bigger than _our_ universe! And since we're on a different plain of reality, it's almost impossible to determine how much distance we covered!"

Hobbes paused.

"Why?" He asked.

Calvin stared at him.

"Oh come on, Hobbes, don't you ever watch _The Twilight Zone_?" He demanded. "In different realities, one step in this place could take us _miles_ away in our universe! For all we know, we might not even be on our planet, now!"

"Great." Hobbes sighed. "Exactly why are we here?"

"We're hiding from Rosalyn." Calvin growled. "Now, if you think you can go fifteen minutes without pulling that stupid vanishing stunt on me, again, maybe we can make our way back to the entrance!"

Hobbes looked around.

"The... entrance?" He asked, quietly.

"Yes, Hobbes, the entrance." Calvin shouted. "The way that we came in! We need to stay close to that, or who _knows_ where we end up!"

"Alright..." Hobbes began. "But where is the entrance?"

"It's that way!" Calvin said, pointing straight ahead of him.

"How do you know?" Hobbes asked.

"That's where the broken lamp is floating." Calvin said.

"Oh."

And so, Calvin and Hobbes started off in that direction.

But not before Calvin had to make things a little more complicated.

"Or was it that way?" He considered, looking behind him.

Hobbes groaned.

* * *

Rosalyn looked around the house for Calvin. 

"CALVIN?" she shouted. "GET OUT HERE! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME FOREVER!"

She opened the door to Calvin's room and looked around.

Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.

There was a Rubix Cube sitting on the floor, but that was about it.

"_CALVIN, WHERE ARE YOU?!_" Rosalyn hollered.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were now trudging through a field of old toys and junk. 

"So…," Hobbes said. "The Borg are a hive-mind, right? And each drone is assigned a number. There's no individuality or anything like a personality, right?"

"I think so, yeah," said Calvin.

"So did the show's writers goof when Captain Picard got the name 'Locutus of Borg'? Because that it incredibly un-Bork-like, right?"

Calvin stopped to think about that.

"Uh…," he said. "Boy, don't tell Andy that. You'll fry his little nerd brain."

They climbed through some more junk until Calvin uncovered an old car magazine.

"Huh," he said. "Look at this. What was it about Chrysler's 'Ask Dr Z' ad that always made me uncomfortable? Was it watching a respectable German CEO being trotted out like a drunken circus monkey? Or was it the cold hard fact that it was the best option they had for an ad campaign?"

Hobbes simply nodded.

"I'm pretty sure their second option was the drunken circus monkey," he said. "Why did Mercedes buy out Chrysler anyway? I hear that they paid for it with a lot of money, and then lost it for less than half of it!"

"Well, they were in merger-mania!" Calvin said. " Germany had just merged East German and West Germany into one whole country! They couldn't stop themselves! Next they were going to merge a chicken with some strudel!"

They climbed higher and higher through the piles of junk.

* * *

Rosalyn looked under the kitchen sink. 

"Calvin, get out here now!" she said angrily. "I'm going to tell your parents! Boy, won't _they_ be mad! You'd better show yourself!"

She started to back herself out, but instead…

_CLANK!_

"OW!" she shrieked, rubbing her sore head. "_Now_ look at what you did!"

* * *

Calvin continued to crawl over a pile of toys. 

"Hobbes?" he shouted. "Hobbes, where'd you go?"

Then he head some crunching coming from behind a mound of junk.

"Hobbes, what are you doing?!" he shouted.

"NOTHING! I SWEAR! DON'T COME BACK HERE!" Hobbes shouted.

But Calvin did anyway.

Then he stared in surprise at what he saw.

"Hobbes?"

Hobbes was carrying several green army men on his back and head as he prowled around on all fours. He looked sheepishly back up at Calvin.

"Uh, Hobbes?"

"…Yes?"

"…What are you doing with all those army men?"

"Nothing."

Calvin continued to slowly come closer.

"Are you pretending to be some gigantic mutant jungle cat or something?"

"NO!" Hobbes shouted. "SHEESH! I'M NOT LAME OR ANYTHING! Man…"

Calvin paused and continued to watch him.

Hobbes looked rather twitchy right now.

Then a sly grin crept over Calvin's face.

"…Is it the elephant thing from Lord of the Rings?" he asked slyly.

Hobbes cringed slightly.

"…_Maybe…,_" he said nervously.

Calvin rolled his eyes and chuckled.

* * *

Later on, Calvin and Hobbes found a roll of tape, and they started stick the tape to Calvin's face, making his ears stick out and his nose stick up. 

"Why is scotch tape called 'scotch tape'?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes immediately went into know-it-all mode.

"Because the Scotts have a 2300-year-old history of giving delicately wrapped birthday gifts, and they're widely credited with creating the perfect tape to wrap those gifts," he said.

There was a long pause as Calvin looked at him in utter confusion.

Hobbes sighed.

"I don't know why they called it 'scotch' tape," he said, tossing the tape over his shoulder.

Calvin rolled his eyes and started to pull the tape off.

"Yeah, I always thought the traditional Scottish gift was loathing, wrapped up in grudging tolerance," he said.

* * *

"You know a place that's weird to live in?" Calvin asked. "Los Angeles." 

"How so?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, I remember seeing some clips of the streets on the News, and I saw one of the strangest stores in the world over there!"

"What was it?" Hobbes asked.

"The sign said _DOUGHNUTS AND CHINESE FAST FOOD!_"

There was a pause.

"F…for real?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin nodded.

"But…but h…how…wha…?" Hobbes stammered.

"WHO THE HECK ACTUALLY _CRAVES_ THOSE THINGS AT THE EXACT SAME TIME?!" Calvin demanded.

"Well, that's Los Angeles for ya," Hobbes replied. "It must be the ideal place for pregnant women!"

Calvin paused and stared at him.

"You know what's weirder? It's probably the standard order at that place! Can you imagine _that?_ Uh, yeah…gimme two jelly-filled, a glazed, six with sprinkles…and, heck, throw some Moo Goo Gai Pan in there."

Hobbes chuckled.

* * *

Rosalyn tore the closet apart, searching for Calvin. 

"CALVIN, I'M NOT GONNA SAY THIS AGAIN! _GET OUT HERE!!_"

She stormed around the house.

"Where the heck could a kid who makes so much noise _hide?!_" she demanded loudly.

* * *

"WAHOO!" Calvin cheered. 

They had found an old sled and were sliding down the piles of junk.

"STEAR! STEAR! _LEFT! LEFT!_" Hobbes shrieked from behind.

_CRASH!_

Calvin and Hobbes managed to crash right into a pile of junk.

After a few seconds, a dazed and confused Hobbes emerged.

"How much cluck could a good duck cluck if a good duck could cluck good?" he asked, his eyes out of focus.

Calvin emerged as well.

"Darkness?" he asked. "It is I, Pajama Sam! I have come to vanquish you!"

They managed to sort themselves out and climbed out of the junk.

"We should be getting closer," Calvin said. "With any luck, we should be there soon."

"Good," said Hobbes. "I keep getting trading cards stuck between my toes."

They trudged onwards.

"Hey, why is it that those old Roman buildings still stand today?" Hobbes asked.

"The ancient Romans used better concrete than we do," Calvin explained. "Can you believe that?! They lived two thousand years ago, and they used better concrete than we do today! It makes you wonder… Why don't _we_ build stuff and make it last?"

Hobbes sighed.

"Well, I'm pretty sure we don't want that Pizza Hut on Route 9 to still be standing two thousand years from now, do we?" he reasoned.

Calvin considered this and continued on.

* * *

A few minutes later, Calvin had found an old book about Nostradamus and was reading off predictions. 

"Wanna hear another?" he asked excitedly.

"No!" Hobbes moaned. "You really need to put that away! Those predictions are so painfully vague!"

"Vague? Vague how?" Calvin demanded.

"Well, for instance, you average Nostradamus prediction sounds like this: _On a cold day in the nation by the sea, two men will battle for power. One will win._"

There was a pause as they trudged on.

"…Did I already read that one to you?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes sighed exasperatedly.

"Come on, Hobbes! Give it a chance!"

"No way! Those things are useless! They're always so incredibly vague!"

"They are not! Listen to this one!_ On the day that the sun rises to the East…_"

"Off to a solid start so far," Hobbes said, rolling his eyes. "This stuff is pure grade bull-pucky."

"No, no, no!" Calvin said. "Nostradamus _definitely_ had the gift! He must've been haunted by the future and the horror of centuries to come!"

"Pfft!" Hobbes snorted. "Calvin, if you want my honest opinion, the average prediction in his actual living days went like this. The person would tell him, 'Tell me more! Eighty doubloons if you'll tell me more!' Then the Nostradamus would probably say, 'Uh, yeah, okay, let's see… _And the east shall tremble as the moo-cow of destruction dances in the empire of shiny pebbles._ Yeah, that oughta do it."

* * *

A little later, Calvin and Hobbes were scaling the side of the mountain of junk. 

"You know what was really weird?" Calvin asked.

"What?" Hobbes asked.

"Why people were so excited for the third of the Star Wars prequels! I mean, honestly! The first two both were painfully bad! There was bad writing, bad acting, bad character development… And they yet people still got excited at the mere _mention_ of it! I mean, the first two _sucked!_ Why should the third one be any different?!"

"I guess it's just the hype of an overused franchise," Hobbes replied.

Soon, they reached the top.

"Alternative title: Star Wars III: _A Trip to the Dentist_," Calvin said.

They observed their surroundings.

"Can you see it from here?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin looked up at the sky.

They colors were still flashing around.

"Okay," he said. "Let's see. Where could it be…?"

Then Hobbes' ears picked up a voice.

"Did you hear that?" he asked.

"Hear what?"

Calvin strained to listen.

For a moment, they didn't hear anything.

Then, it came again.

"Calvin, where are you?!?" they heard the voice scream.

"Hey, it's Rosalyn!" Calvin cried. "That's it!"

"What is?" Hobbes asked.

"We can follow Rosalyn's inhuman shrieks back to the entrance! Quick! Which direction do we go in?!"

Hobbes listened carefully and cupped a paw to his ear.

There was a brief pause.

Then, in the distance, he heard it again.

"Calvin?!" Rosalyn screamed.

"That-a-way!" Hobbes said triumphantly.

They quickly slid down the mountain of old junk and took off in that direction.

Rosalyn was now searching Calvin's room.

"CALVIN, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!?" she shouted under the bed.

Calvin and Hobbes raced along the piles of junk, following the shouts.

"That's it, Roz!" Calvin called. "Just keep shrieking like a banshee and we'll get to you as soon as we can't!"

Hobbes then jumped up into the air to avoid hitting a broken lamp, and suddenly, he realized he wasn't coming back down.

"We must be getting closer!" he said. "The floating is back!"

"Come on!" said Calvin, who jumped up after him. "We're nearly there."

As they floated forwards, Calvin spoke again.

"You know who I feel sorry for? The guy who has to write the employee holiday cards! I'll bet that after over a thousand of those, it's only natural to announce massive corporate layoffs."

"Yeah, but you know who has it worse? Ducks! They have throats that are about two inches wide, and they can't enjoy the satisfaction of catching a trout and swallowing it whole!" Hobbes replied.

Calvin stared at him, confused.

"I'm running out of material," Hobbes sighed.

Calvin nodded and looked up.

They could see the entrance coming.

"Yes!" he cried. "We're almost there! Now we just wait around the rim of the hypercube until Rosalyn goes home."

"Sure," Hobbes replied. "Just one question."

"Shoot."

"Where'd you _get_ all of this stuff?"

Calvin glared at him.

"Well, I'll tell you, Hobbes, but on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You have to tell me how you do that vanishing act of yours."

Hobbes glared back at him.

"Give me one good reason!"

"Well, you want to know where I got all this stuff."

Hobbes sighed.

"Fine," he said. "I'll tell you after you tell me."

Calvin nodded.

"Fine."

There was a pause.

Calvin spoke.

"It came with the Hypercube."

Another pause.

"Huh?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, you know how when you get a new wallet, and there's already a picture of someone in one the slips?"

"Yeah…?"

"Well, this is mostly what all of this is."

"A pre-packaged photo?"

"Sort of."

"Huh."

There was a pause.

"So…are you gonna tell me how your vanishing act works?"

"Yep. Like this."

_SHOOM!_

Hobbes vanished.

Calvin growled.

"OH, FINE!" he shouted. "GET YOURSELF LOST AGAIN! SEE IF I CARE, WHICH I DON'T!"

There was a long pause as Calvin continued to float towards the entrance of the Hypercube.

A few seconds later…

_SHOOM!_

"Reality got the better of you, didn't it?" Calvin grinned.

Hobbes scowled at him.

They continued to soar towards the entrance.

Finally, it was right on top of them.

"Yes!" said Calvin. "We're here! Now we just have to wait for awhile."

Suddenly, the entrance began bouncing up and down.

"What th—?!" Hobbes cried, getting out of the way.

"Oh no, Rosalyn's figured out the hypercube!" Calvin wailed. "She's trying to get us out!"

"STUPID STORAGE CUBE IS ALWAYS JAMMING UP!" a familiar voice shouted.

There was a pause as the entrance continued to bounce.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at each other.

"Hobbes…?" Calvin asked.

"Yes?"

"I thought you heard Rosalyn's voice coming from this direction."

"I did."

"Then why do I hear the voice of one Dr Frank Brainstorm through here?"

Hobbes thought hard about this.

"Maybe… Uh… No… Well, I think that… No…," Hobbes stammered.

"You screwed up, didn't you?!" Calvin demanded.

"Uh, I did indeed."

Calvin angrily slapped his forehead.

"It wouldn't bother me so much if you weren't so darn easygoing about it," he grunted.

Hobbes shrugged.

"But this proves what I said earlier!" Calvin continued. "A step in here can be a mile in our universe! We'll just have to find different portals from one dimension into the next one, and then take a peek and see where we are exactly. This means that we're connected to Yellowstone National Park."

"So which way do we go?" Hobbes asked. "If there are as many portals as you claim there are, this could take days!"

"We just have to pray and hope we get lucky."

There was a pause.

Hobbes stared at Calvin.

"Well, I didn't want to get in trouble with you later after giving you a load of scientific lies," Calvin said, shrugging.

Hobbes sighed.

They turned away from the portal, and headed into the great unknown.

A few minutes later, they were back on the "ground" and were trudging through the piles of toys and gadgets.

"So all hypercubes in the world are linked to this dimension?" Hobbes asked.

"I guess," Calvin replied, pushing stuff over.

They walked for a while.

"You know what _I_ wonder?"

"What?"

"What's it all sitting on?"

There was a pause as they stopped to think.

"I…don't know," Calvin said slowly.

They both looked down at the junk.

"Maybe it just floats in the nothingness," Calvin suggested.

"Possibly," Hobbes said.

Then Calvin looked up.

"Look!" he said, pointing. "There's a portal right there! Let's check it out!"

They quickly ran down the piles of junk. They leapt into the air and floated up towards the exit.

Calvin turned to Hobbes.

"I'll just stick my head out and see where we are," Calvin whispered.

"Check," said Hobbes, giving him a thumb up.

Calvin floated to the portal.

In a flash of red, he looked around.

"Drat," he whispered. "_My_ hypercube makes a _blue_ flash."

He looked around. He appeared to be in a lab of some sort. Then he saw another hypercube not far away.

Quickly, he ducked his head down and searched the vacant dimension.

"That's odd," he said. "There's a hypercube next to the one out here, but there's no portal here."

"Maybe it leads to another part of this dimension," Hobbes suggested.

"Maybe. Come on!"

"Wait! We can't just go through another portal! What if it takes us farther away?"

"What if it brings us closer?"

There was a pause.

Hobbes grumbled.

"I hate it when you do that," he muttered.

Calvin quickly flew through the hypercube.

_SWISH!!!_

Hobbes followed.

_SWISH!!!_

They both emerged in the lab.

Quickly, they jumped into the next one.

_SWISH!!!_

_SWISH!!!_

They reappeared in the empty dimension again, but found the piles of junk to be piles higher this time.

"Wow, where are we now?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't know. Can you hear anyone?" Calvin asked.

"No."

"Then we need to find another portal."

They landed on the junk and waded there way along the piles and stacks.

"There's one!" said Hobbes cried.

At the top of a mountain of junk, they saw another portal.

They quickly climbed to the top of it and jumped through.

_SWISH!!!_

_SWISH!!!_

They appeared in a desert.

The hypercube they had just come out of was half buried in the sand.

"Oh, great," Hobbes moaned. "And me in my heaviest coat."

Calvin searched the landscape.

"Hey, look! Another one!"

"What?!" Hobbes cried.

Indeed, there was a green hypercube sitting a few yards away.

"Quick!" Calvin cried.

_SWISH!!!_

_SWISH!!!_

They reappeared atop a mountain of sand.

"Huh," said Calvin. "They should probably do some vacuuming in here."

They slid down the pile until they tripped over something.

"OW!" said Calvin. "What was that?"

Hobbes picked the object up, which was revealed to be a book.

"Huh," he said. "Nostradamus: Predictions for 2003." He opened it.

Calvin looked at the cover.

"It says on a sticker, 'Discount Bin: 75 per cent off," he said.

Hobbes read a page.

"…_and in May 2003, half of France shall fall into the sea…,_" he read.

"Ooh, spooky," said Calvin.

Hobbes rolled his eyes and tossed the book aside.

Then he saw another portal.

"There!" he said, pointing.

Calvin followed his gaze and grinned.

"Let's go!" he said.

They ran after it and climbed up a small hill, and then jumped through the air and through the portal.

_SWISH!!!_

_SWISH!!!_

They flew out and landed in a Japanese Hut.

"This figures," Hobbes said, rolling his eyes.

They looked around, but found no other hypercubes.

Calvin quickly opened up another door, and then found one sitting in the closet.

"Am I the only one in the world with just one hypercube?" he demanded.

"Yes," Hobbes replied. "And I thank you for it."

They jumped in.

_SWISH!!!_

_SWISH!!!_

They landed in a pile of action figures.

"What the heck…?" Calvin asked, emerging from them.

"It's all the lamest sci-fi characters ever devised!" Hobbes exclaimed, looking at all the stuff. "Look, there's the robot from _Lost in Space_, a Dalek from _Doctor Who_, a ewok from _Star Wars…"_

"Look, here's Anakin," said Calvin, holding up the action figure.

They trudged through the action figures and into the junk again, and after a while, they climbed another pile of junk towards another portal.

_SWISH!!_

_SWISH!!!_

"Where are we now?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin looked around.

They were in a laboratory of some kind. On one half was a massive library. On the other half was a bunch of test tubes and beakers and formulas, as well as a giant control panel and screen.

"This place looks familiar," said Calvin thoughtfully.

Then Calvin spotted a piece of paper on the table. He read it.

"This is Sherman's lab!" he exclaimed.

"Oh great," Hobbes moaned. "Let's get out of here before we hear him start talking about the University!"

Calvin looked around frantically. Then he saw a wall of monitors.

"Look!" he said. "Sherman must have surveillance over the whole neighborhood!"

They stared at the screens, watching them.

Then, Calvin noticed the one that was of the road.

A familiar-looking car drove by on the screen.

"AUGH!" he cried. "Mom and Dad are coming home, and I'm still allegedly missing! We don't have enough time to get back!"

Then Hobbes had an idea.

"Doesn't your MTM have a hypercube?" he asked.

Calvin looked at him.

"Yeah? So?"

"Well, you made the MTM _and_ your hypercube, so shouldn't that mean that they should be close together?"

Calvin stared at him.

"Uh…"

"Look, just try it," said Hobbes. "They won't be after _me,_ so you can just go on ahead and try."

Calvin paused for a moment.

"Well… Okay, I guess," he sighed.

He pulled the MTM out of his pocket and handed it to Hobbes.

Hobbes looked for the right option, and then pressed the button on the side.

A little slot opened on the MTM. A blue glow erupted from it.

"Here we go!" said Calvin.

Hobbes watched as Calvin was sucked inside the MTM's hypercube.

_SWISH!!!_

Once he was gone, Hobbes deactivated it and left the lab, hoping to get out without Sherman catching him.

* * *

Calvin emerged in the dimension again. 

"Okay, gotta be quick, gotta be quick!" he said, looking around.

Then he saw another portal not far away.

"Aha!" he cheered. But then he frowned. "How do I know it's the right one?"

Just then, a comic book floated nearby.

Calvin grabbed it and looked at the title.

"10th Anniversary Double-Length Special Edition Captain Napalm issue! Yes!" he cried.

With the comic book safely tucked away in his pocket, Calvin swam through the swirling colors towards safety.

Finally, he reached the portal and pushed through in a blue flash of light.

_SWISH!!_

When Calvin emerged, he was back in his own room.

"Yes!" he cried.

Unfortunately, he was heard.

_WHAM!_

The door suddenly swung open.

Calvin gulped and looked up.

It was Rosalyn, and she was glaring at him.

"Where…have you been?" she demanded in a dangerous calm.

Calvin grinned sweetly.

"Wouldn't_ you_ like to know?" he said.

Rosalyn grabbed him by the collar.

"You…are in so much trouble," she growled.

"What for?" Calvin asked. "I didn't do anything! Any damages done to this house, you did yourself."

Rosalyn opened her mouth to retort, but came up empty.

"Also," Calvin continued, "Mom and Dad are home, and I haven't done a thing, so you can't ask them for a raise like you always do."

Rosalyn grumbled.

They heard the door open.

"We're home!" Mom called.

"Rosalyn? Calvin?" Dad asked.

Rosalyn rolled her eyes and glared at Calvin one last time before going downstairs.

* * *

Later that evening, Calvin was back to working on the test he had been working on later. 

Hobbes came in through the window, still holding the MTM.

"Hey!" he said, landing on the bed.

Calvin looked up.

"There you are," he said, turning back to the test. "Where've _you_ been?"

"Eh, Sherman caught me on the way out, and he had to yell at me for an hour like he always does when neither of us have anything better to do," Hobbes explained. "Here's the MTM back."

Calvin took it.

"Thanks."

"I take it things went well?"

"Indeed they did! Since Rosalyn thinks I was just hiding all day, there was pretty much nothing for me to get in trouble for! That means I can focus on being annoyed by this test from earlier."

There was a pause.

"Did your parents bring tuna?" Hobbes finally asked.

"Ah, sweet distraction!" Calvin said, getting out of the chair. "Let's go!"

They ran out of the bedroom and turned the light off on the way.

The Hypercube sat in the darkness, illuminating the room in a blue glow.

**The End**

**Voice Work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon **Calvin  
**Tom Hanks **Hobbes  
**Bill Murray **Dad  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt **Mom  
**Daveigh Chase **Rosalyn  
**Neil Crone **Dr Brainstorm

* * *

**Coming up next: **The Five Calvins _**(The fifth **_**Calvin and Hobbes: The Series**_** TV movie)**_


	11. The Five Calvins P1

Summary: A mysterious force brings Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Calvin's inventions, alter egos, and Holographic Retro to a deadly alternate universe.

* * *

_And now the fifth Calvin and Hobbes: The Series TV movie  
_Part one written by garfieldodie 

The screen is completely gray.

An outer-spacey music plays in the background.

Now a black and white Calvin enters the still blank screen. His hair is slicked back, and he's wearing a smart suit. He faces the audience.

He clears his throat and speaks.

"One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets. No tears, no anxieties… Just go forward in all your beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine."

_(Cut to Doctor Who theme song during Peter Davison-era. The music plays over past clips from C&H: the Series.)_

**The Five Calvins**

Calvin was spending his Tuesday quite normally for once.

He was at school doing his usual routine. He was flunking tests, annoying Susie, visiting Mr Spittle, getting sprayed by the water fountain, waiting for the swing and being beat up by Moe.

It was an average day.

It had been a good week, actually.

There had been no new inventions, no villains, and no incredible mishaps.

Calvin thought of it as a bit of a vacation.

So yes, things had been rather quiet.

Rupert had not been seen. There was no sign of Holographic Retro. Dr Brainstorm had kept to himself.

Pretty boring, really.

But no one was complaining.

Speaking of complaints, Hobbes was rather content as well.

He was currently catching a doze in a sunbeam. He was dreaming of the great chase, rolling around on his back and growling slightly. You know how cats are.

All over town, things were the quite normal.

Socrates was drifting in his inner tube in his mansion's pool.

Andy and Sherman were down in the lab, where Andy was unwillingly helping Sherman with his latest project.

But our story begins at the elementary school, so we shall return there.

Calvin was at recess, recovering from being beaten by Moe. He was beaten and bruised, so he was sitting on top of the jungle gym out of his reach.

It seemed like the perfect day, despite that one little drawback.

Another drawback was brewing many light-years away from our universe.

A black-cloaked figure was holding a strange object. It looked like a lemon wedge stuck to the end of a stick, but it was more like a scoop.

It reached into a bowl-like object.

* * *

The intrepid Spaceman Spiff was soaring about the cosmos. 

He was being followed by several bigger spaceships.

"This is Spaceman Spiff calling for backup!" Spiff shouted into a headset. "I'm being perused by Galgork Space Warriors! There're roughly fifty of them! Someone get me out of here!"

Just then, a giant twister came out of space and chased after him.

"Whoa! That was a prompt response," he commented.

Suddenly, he realized the twister was dragging him towards it.

"Hey! Help! Make it stop! My thrusters aren't responding! HELP!"

But Spiff was dragged into the twister.

The Galgorks watched as it disappeared into the distance.

* * *

The mysterious figure turned towards a white window. 

A figurine of Spiff appeared on the edge of it.

The figure used the scoop to pick it up, and he gently placed it into another bowl.

The area that the Spiff figurine rested on lit up.

* * *

In the playground, Calvin was climbing down from the jungle gym. 

Suddenly, something happened inside him.

"GGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" he screamed, clutching his chest.

Everyone stared at him.

Then they went back to what they were doing. They had learnt that Calvin was always melodramatic at times, so they ignored it.

Calvin, however, was confused.

"What the heck was that?" he wondered.

* * *

In a bar in an unknown city, detective Tracer Bullet was sitting on a stool. 

"It was a rainy, boring day in the big city. I was sitting in the local tavern, throwing back rusty dirt water, and I was looking for my lighter. I was getting a bit testy, as the barkeeper was reminding me. I knew I had been a pain in the side, but what can I do? I'm flawed, pretty much."

Just then, there was a lot of commotion from outside the bar.

Tracer arched an eyebrow and went outside.

"I exited the establishment and noticed something rather strange making its way down the street. It looked like tornado, but it was too small. More like a dust devil. But then it couldn't be. Nothing was being sucked up into it. Something strange was happening."

And it was. Now the little tornado was heading straight for Tracer!

"This thing was obviously hired by someone or something to off me! I pulled my 45 and started firing."

Tracer immediately fired his gun at the strange twister, but alas, he was sucked into it, and it whisked him into the sky and out of sight.

* * *

Once again, in the white window, a new figurine of Tracer appeared on the edge. 

The figure did the same, but he put this figurine on another section of the platform.

Once again, this spot lit up.

* * *

Calvin was walking across the blacktop towards the school, when he got the same pain again. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKK!!" he howled, grabbing his chest again in agony.

Everyone looked again.

Calvin was doubled over in pain and moaning.

Susie approached Calvin.

"Calvin, what the heck are you doing?" she demanded.

"I…I don't know," Calvin stammered. "It feels like I'm being torn away at piece by piece!"

* * *

In a normal metropolitan city, Stupendous Man was soaring proudly across the skies. 

It was a routine day for him as he explored and checked that all was well before he headed home.

However, as he turned around a building, he was shocked to see that another one of those tornados was coming down from the sky to pick him up.

"WHOA!" he cried.

He altered course and zoomed away.

He checked over his shoulder.

The twister was sailing quietly towards him.

He quickly flew as quickly as he could to get away. He zigzagged around buildings and streets until he'd flown straight out of the city.

"HA! I showed _it!_"

Stupendous Man took a glance over his shoulder to see where it was.

He didn't realize it was now in front of him until it was too late.

He was sucked into the tornado and taken away.

* * *

Once again, a figurine of Stupendous Man appeared in the white window. 

The figure picked it up with the scoop and set it down on the platform.

A light was lit as well.

* * *

Calvin and Susie were about to enter the building, but Calvin had another spasm. 

"DDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHH!" he shrieked, once again holding his chest.

This time, he fell to the ground.

Susie stared at him.

Calvin was lying on his back, squirming in pain, clutching his chest, and his head was soaked with nervous sweat.

Susie gulped and ran.

"Miss Wormwood! Miss Wormwood!" she cried, running up to her teacher. "Something's wrong with Calvin."

"Something's _always_ wrong with Calvin," Miss Wormwood sighed.

"No, for real this time! He's having some weird chest pains, and he can't stand up!"

Miss Wormwood sighed and followed Susie to Calvin, who by now had attracted a crowd.

Calvin didn't seem to notice them. Too many things were running through his head.

"Calvin, what's wrong?" asked Miss Wormwood, examining him.

Calvin didn't reply. He just looked very uncomfortable.

Miss Wormwood gently picked him up and took him to the nurse.

* * *

Back at home, Andy was just departing from his house, feeling very agitated. 

"That hamster of mine…," he was muttering to himself.

Just then, one of the tornados came out of the sky.

Andy didn't notice it as he was walking along, and he was picked up by it.

* * *

Down in the lab, Sherman was angrily put test tubes away. 

"That kid of mine…," he was muttering to himself.

And then, another smaller tornado snuck up and picked him up as well!

* * *

Down at the mansion, Socrates was snoozing in the pool, so he didn't notice when he was sucked up as well.

* * *

Hobbes was last. He too was asleep, so he also was unaware of his capture.

* * *

At school, many people were gathered around Calvin. 

The nurse was examining him.

"Well, according to everything that could tell us, he's fine. He's just had a bad shock," she said at last.

Then a kid pointed at him.

"Look!" he cried.

Everyone stared.

Calvin was slowly fading. It was like he was a ghost you could see through. He was slowly coming and going.

"Calvin, are you okay?" asked Miss Wormwood.

Then Calvin said in a firm voice, "A man is the sum of his memories, you know? And I'm not even more so."

Everyone stared.

"What the heck does that mean?" demanded Moe.

Just then, Mom and Dad came in.

"We came as soon as you called," said Mom. "What's wrong?"

"We don't know," said the nurse. "Take a look."

Mom and Dad gasped at Calvin's current state.

"What the heck…?" asked Dad.

"Hey, what's that?" asked Susie.

Everyone turned around and looked.

It was one of the tornados. It had come for the last piece.

The moment Calvin solidified again, the tornado engulfed him and took him away.

"IT'S TAKING CALVIN!" shrieked Mom.

Everyone ran after it, but the strange thing took to the sky and took Calvin away.

* * *

Meanwhile, the cloaked figure had just received many more figurines. 

They were Andy, Sherman, Socrates, Hobbes, and now materializing, Calvin.

He took them up in the scoop, and began to gently place them in different places on the platform.

Andy was placed next to the Tracer Bullet figurine.

Sherman was placed next to Spaceman Spiff.

Socrates was placed next to Stupendous Man.

And Calvin and Hobbes got their very own section.

Once they were placed together, the platform lit up.

* * *

In a dark room, a figure was tied to a chair. 

It was the Holographic Retro.

"I DEMAND THAT YOU RELEASE ME! THIS WILL NOT STAND! LET ME SEE YOUR SUPERVISOR AT ONCE! YOU IDIOTS SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO JUST PLUCK AN INNOCENT HOLOGRAM OUT OF EXISTANCE! WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU DEMONS? WHAT DO YOU WANT? _**WHO ARE YOOOUUU?!?!**_" he shouted.

"_**SILENCE!!!!**_" a voice boomed.

The ground shook, causing Retro to tip over.

"Okay, we got that out of the way," he said sheepishly. "So, er, what can I do for you?"

The voice spoke again.

"You are one of the most evil and corrupt beings ever known to the human race. It's not saying much, mainly because the human race doesn't know you exist."

Retro nodded.

"Your crimes are outnumbered, and your tyranny is without question."

Retro smirked proudly.

"However, as of now, I am bestowing a task upon you, and if you can succeed at it, you shall be rewarded."

Retro managed to get his chair upright again.

"Hey, I don't do favors for anyone!" he shouted. "I'm my own man!"

Suddenly, a mirror appeared before him, and showed him his reflection.

"What now?" Retro demanded.

All lights turned off, with the exception of a tiny spotlight that touched the giant silver H that was on his forehead.

"Oh, right."

The lights came back on, and the mirror disappeared.

"Indeed," said the voice. "You are merely a hardlight hologram. You are composed entirely of light and controlled by computer intelligence software. You are working for your human self, and now, temporarily, you shall work for me."

Retro thought.

"What's my reward?" he asked.

"You shall be given total control over the planet."

Retro gawked.

"Is…is that possible? You can give me that?"

"Indeed I can," said the voice. "Just perform the task, and it's yours."

Retro grinned.

"All right, what do you need?"

"I need you to save your enemies: Calvin and Hobbes."

Silence greeted these words as Retro stared into the nothingness of the room.

* * *

In a rocky wasteland, several little tornados were coming in for a landing. 

Two of them landed on a brick wall, leaving behind Stupendous Man and Socrates.

Two landed in a hall of mirrors, leaving behind Spiff and Sherman.

The single one landed Tracer on a country road.

Another landed Andy at the bottom of a hill.

Finally, the last pair landed Calvin and Hobbes.

They landed side by side in a grassy field.

Then another tornado landed, and from it came the cardboard box!

Everyone lay there, unconscious.

Hobbes was the first to awaken.

He got up and stretched as he looked around.

"Something tells me this isn't my house," he commented.

Then he noticed Calvin, who lay unconscious nearby the box.

"Oh, I get it. Another one of you experiments, is it? Where the heck are we?" Hobbes demanded.

But Calvin didn't give a reply.

Hobbes stared.

Calvin was still fading slightly.

"Uh…Calvin? Buddy? Are you okay?" Hobbes asked, worry in his voice.

Calvin finally answered, but it wasn't a reply Hobbes expected.

"I need…to be _whole_," he said weakly, and he passed out again.

Hobbes stared.

* * *

Retro was watching most of this on a floating screen in the dark room, now freed from his chair. 

"So that's the situation, huh?" he sighed. "That dumb child has gotten himself into another mishap?"

"This was not of his own doing. A being unknown to him has taken him from existence, and taken him to the reactivated Death Zone. I need to know what is happening there. While I can see all that happens there, I can not hear anything, as you've just seen."

"And you can't go over there and look?" Retro asked disdainfully.

"No."

"Oh, I see. So you sent for someone you could easily get rid of without much worry."

"Trust me. Calvin and Hobbes, their companions and their inventions have been taken out of existence. They no longer exist. You are needed to bring them back."

"And if I can't?"

There was a long pause.

Retro sighed.

"A universe without that six-year-old fool barely needs thinking about," he said.

No reply.

Retro looked up.

"So how do I get _into_ the Death Zone?" he asked.

"There is a power-boosted transmat beam behind you," said the voice.

Retro turned around.

Yep. There it was.

"Will you go?"

Retro paused.

"To rescue Calvin and Hobbes," he chuckled. He grinned and faced…nothing.

"Take this," said the voice.

A medal appeared before Retro.

"What is it?" asked Retro, taking it.

"The Seal of the Good Man. It might make your case a bit more convincing to Calvin."

Retro nodded.

"When you have something report," the voice continued, "activate this."

A small round device with a button on it appeared.

"It's a transmat recall device. It'll bring you back here."

Retro took it as well. Then he stepped into the transmat beam.

In a flash of light, Retro was transported to the Death Zone.

**To Be Continued...**


	12. The Five Calvins P2

_Part two written by Swing123_

Spaceman Spiff looked up and cut his eyes from side to side.

His spaceship and the aliens chasing him were gone.

Instead he was in a large room made entirely of...

Mirrors.

Slowly, Spiff stood up, and looked around. As he stood up, his reflection appeared all around him, on the floor, walls, and ceiling.

"Hmmm," he said to himself. "A hall of mirrors. This is kind of like one of those things they have in fun houses."

He paused and looked around.

"If fun houses had pieces of broken jagged glass all around and forcefully bring you to them, then sure. A fun house."

Slowly, Spiff started moving forward, his Death Ray Blaster held out in front of him.

Then, as he became more brave, began running, holding his arms out.

He ran faster.

He rounded several turns trying to find a way out.

Then, he made a turn at another fork in the road and...

_CRASH!!!!!_

...ran head on into one of the mirrors.

Spiff shook his head for a second, then turned, and started down another pathway.

_CRASH!!!!_

Spiff stumbled back a couple of steps, and rubbed his head in pain.

Then, he spun around and started running down a third hallway in hopes of...

_CRASH!!!_

"I utterly _despise_ fun houses." Spiff growled, rubbing his sore forehead.

Just then, Spiff spotted a piece of paper on the floor.

"Hello, what's this?" Spiff asked, picking the paper up.

He scanned over it.

"Hmm... this is quite interesting." He considered.

"Uh, hello?" Came a small voice from one of the hallways. "Who's here?"

Spiff spun around.

"I'm here!" He yelled back. "Whoever you are, _stay exactly where you are!!!_"

And with that, Spiff leaned back, then blasted forward down one of the hallways after the voice.

_CRASH!!!!_

This time, Spiff was sent right off his feet, and he collapsed onto the floor.

There was a moment of silence.

"On second thought, maybe you'd better just come over to me." He mumbled, standing up.

There was a small pause, then, a small figure stepped up.

Spiff rubbed his head, and looked around.

Sherman was standing in the hallway, staring at Spiff with wide eyes.

"Uh, Calvin?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope." Spiff said, stretching a kink out of his back. "I'm his first alter ego, Spaceman Spiff. At your service."

"Uh huh." Sherman said. "What are you doing here? And, uh, what exactly am _I_ doing here?"

"Ah, I wish I knew, my, uh," Spiff held his hand out as a height measurement. "...Small... hamster person."

Sherman glared at him.

Spiff then began peeking around the corners.

"Anyway, the important question now is, where are we? And... _why?!_"

Suddenly, a low humming reached Spiff and Sherman's ears.

They both turned, and saw the looming shadow of something large approaching them.

Then, a tall chrome robot appeared around one of the corners.

It was shaped kind of like a giant salt shaker. It had a circular swiveling head which had a long eye piece at the front. The eye piece was glowing bright blue, and going up and down, exploring its surroundings. It's body was tube-like, with several golden orbs planted in the lower portion of it. It had a laser cannon installed on one side of its body, and a suction cup installed on the other.

Sherman and Spiff stared at it.

"Wow," Spiff said. "R2D2 really let himself go."

"HALT!!" the robot shrieked in a shrill electronic voice, lights on the side of its head lighting up as it spoke. "OR YOU WILL BE EX-TER-MIN-AT-ED!!!!"

Sherman turned an icy glare onto Spiff.

"Good work, space cadet. You just brought it here by running into those stupid walls!"

"Fear not, small hamster!" Spiff yelled, advancing forward, and holding his hand out. "This scrap of metal is no match for my Death Ray Blaster!!"

Quickly, Spiff ripped his Blaster out of his holder and pointed it at the robot.

"EAT HOT POWER OUTAGE, ROBOT!!" He screamed, pulling the trigger.

A large blast of red exploded from Spiff's gun, and hurled towards the approaching robot.

_BOOM!!!!_

Spiff grinned with satisfaction, as he watched the blast hit the robot, and an explosion of several colors as well as black smoke fill the entire hallway in front of him.

He turned to Sherman.

"Well, that's settled." He grinned. "Now, where were we?"

"IT IS THE FIRST AL-TER E-GO!!!" Came a shrill electronic voice. "HE MUST BE DES-TROYED!!!"

Sherman sighed, and Spiff whirled around.

The robot was emerging from the cloud of black, totally unharmed by the blaster, its head going back and forth, wildly.

Spiff ripped the gun out, again, and began firing repeatedly at it. Each pull of the trigger did nothing to slow the robot down.

"OK, Hamster!" He yelled backing up with each blast. "My weapons are useless against this thing!"

"Uh huh." Sherman said. "What was your first tip?"

Spiff ignored him.

"On the count of three, we will abandon this plan and go forward with the next one!"

"You mean running for our lives?"

"Correct. Ready? _THREE!!!"_

_ZOOM!!!_

There was a sudden blur of color, and Spiff and Sherman suddenly vanished.

"EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!!!" The robot screeched, moving forward, and blasting away with its laser cannon. "EX-TER-MIN-ATE!! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!! _EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!!!_"

Spiff and Sherman raced through the hallways, jumping over fallen mirrors, and trying not to run head on into them.

Spiff looked behind his shoulders.

"Hang on! I think we lost him!"

Very slowly, the two came to a stop.

"Ha! I guess we showed him!" Spiff chuckled.

Sherman looked around.

"That's weird. Where did he go?"

"Who cares?" Spiff said, crossing his arms. "The point is we're in the clear. Now let's find out of to get out of this raging death trap."

He whirled around, and began running off towards...

_CRASH!!!!_

Sherman glared at Spiff as he sunk to the ground, and lay on the floor, grumbling to himself.

"EX-TER-MIN-ATE!! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!!"

"Good job." Sherman sighed.

Spiff leaped to his feet, and looked around.

The robot's shadow appeared from around one of the corners.

It would be rounding it in less than fifteen seconds.

Spiff grabbed Sherman off the ground, and rushed over to the wall.

He pressed himself against it and put Sherman onto the ground

"OK, talking rodent, here's the plan!" He said, turning his head.

Sherman glared at him.

"When I say go, rush forward and help me push the robot into the corner there. When I say drop, get on the ground, and cover your head!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Or you could continue standing, and hold your arms to the sky. Either way, the same result will come out."

"Whatever." Sherman growled.

Spiff and Sherman then turned, and waited.

Suddenly, the robot rounded the corner, and began rolling forward, swiveling its head, and looking for the spaceman and hamster.

"GO!!!!"

Spiff and Sherman raced forward behind the robot, and began shoving it forward. Spiff, as you can imagine, did most of the work.

"COUN-TER A-TTACK!!!" The robot shrieked, trying to get a fix on Spiff. "EX-TER-MIN-ATE!! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!"

"DROP!!!"

Spiff and Sherman both collapsed onto the ground.

The robot began turning in circles, firing wildly with it's laser cannon.

Each blast bounced off one of the mirrors and ricocheted back at it.

"EX-TER-MIN-ATE!! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!! EX-TER-MIN-ATE!! EX–TER—MIN—A...!!"

_**BOOM!!!**_

There was a large blast of color and sound and suddenly the laser fire and loud shrieks ceased.

There was a long moment of silence.

Spiff opened his eyes, and looked around.

The robot had been blown to pieces. Destroyed with its own weapons.

"Wow, that was even more easy than I thought it would be!" Spiff grinned, leaping to his feet, and dusting himself off.

"Right." Sherman grumbled, who was covered in black dust.

He stood up and shook himself off.

Then he looked over at the robot.

"Hey! Look!" He yelled pointing at the wall near it. "It blew a hole in the wall!"

Spiff looked up.

"Hey! Another problem solved!" He grinned.

Sherman rolled his eyes.

The two moved forward, and stared out into rocky wasteland before them.

"Where are we?" Sherman demanded, scanning the landscape.

Spiff acquired a very serious expression on his face.

"Oh no..." He sighed, squinting his eyes.

"What?" Sherman questioned. "What is this place?!"

Spiff stepped out of the hall, and onto the ground outside.

"No..." He said, looking from side to side. "We can't be..."

Then, Spiff's eyes fell onto a tall white tower, which stood on one of the mountains several miles away.

"But we are..." He sighed.

He turned to Sherman.

"Extremely miniature one, I'm afraid we're in The Death Zone." He said, crossing his arms.

Sherman stared at him.

"Where?" He asked.

Spiff stared back at him.

"Uh, I'll explain as we go. Come on." He said, picking the hamster up, and turning around.

* * *

Meanwhile, several miles away, Socrates and Stupendous Man were climbing over large boulders and jagged rocks up on one of the mountains. 

Stupendous Man was in the lead.

"So, Stupey," Socrates said, examining the area around them. "Do you have any particular idea on where we might be?

"For the last time, NO!!" Stupendous Man shouted. "That's all you've been saying to me since we met! I _don't_know where we are!"

"Well, you don't need to get defensive." Socrates said, defensively.

There was a moment of silence.

"And would you please restrain from calling me 'Stupey'?" Stupendous Man demanded.

Socrates rolled his eyes.

"Well, you know I was perfectly happy just to lay in my pool all day and sleep." He said. "I wake up, and I'm suddenly smack dab in the middle of nowhere. With you."

"Uh huh." Stupendous Man said, looking around one of the rocks.

His eyes popped open.

"Oh... boy..." He sighed.

"What?" Socrates asked, walking around the rock.

"Get back!" Stupendous Man said, shoving him back.

Socrates stumbled backwards into a rock wall.

"What is it?" Socrates demanded, getting a little annoyed.

"I see something." Stupendous Man said, squinting through the fog. "Something's moving. Be still and shut up!"

Socrates glared at Stupendous Man and waited.

_CRACK!!!_

"YIPES!!!"

Stupendous Man whirled around.

A silver hand had burst from the wall, and had grabbed Socrates arm.

"HELP!!!" Socrates yelled, yanking against the grasp.

"Hang on annoying tiger!" Stupendous Man shouted, rushing forward. "HELP'S COMING!!"

He raced up to Socrates, grabbed his other arm and began pulling in the opposite direction.

"ACK!!" Socrates yelled. "YOU'RE GOING TO RIP MY ARM OFF!!"

Stupendous Man looked around.

The silver hand still had Socrates, and was beginning to pull him towards it.

"Hang in there, red striped one!" He yelled, heroically, jumping to the hand.

With a large crash each time, Stupendous Man struck the metal hand with his fists.

Slowly, the hand loosened its grip, then disappeared into the rock.

"Come on!" Stupendous Man said grabbing Socrates' arm, and hastily leading it away from the wall.

Stupendous Man grabbed a piece of paper off the rocks as they ran.

* * *

Meanwhile, on a different side of the zone, Tracer Bullet walked down the small country road, looking around the area, confused. 

"Well, this is certainly bewildering..." He said, tipping his hat back, and looking to the sky.

There were large storm clouds all around him.

"Not a very welcoming climate," he considered.

He kept walking.

"When you think about it, not very welcoming at all." He said.

Just then, Tracer heard a noise.

He whipped around, and ripped his gun out of his holder.

He spun from side to side, and glared into the fog.

Nothing.

Then, he heard it, again.

It was a rustling sound.

Slowly, Tracer made his way across the road, and he looked over the side.

"Uhh, hello?" He asked, a little unsurely.

Andy looked up.

He was clinging to some rocks embedded in the dirt, trying not to fall down into an embankment at the bottom of the hill.

"Hello!" Andy shouted back up the hill. "Is someone there?!"

"Yes, there is someone here." Tracer replied.

There was a moment of silence.

"Do you need some help?" Tracer asked.

Andy sighed.

"Yes, I think I could use a hand." He said, sighing.

Tracer looked around, frantically.

Then his eyes fell onto vine, which was hanging on a tree nearby.

"Hang on!" He shouted.

He raced over to the vine, grabbed it off the limb, and rushed back.

"Grab this!"

Tracer tossed the vine down the hill.

Andy looked up, and grabbed it, as it fell down to him.

"Do you have it?" Tracer shouted.

"Yes!" Andy shouted back.

"Then hold on!"

Tracer ran back to the tree with the other end of the vine, and wrapped it around the trunk.

Then, with a mighty heave, he pulled the vine backwards.

It took Tracer five minutes to rescue Andy.

By the time he did, he was exhausted.

Andy climbed up onto the road, and threw the vine away.

"Oh, wow..." Andy sighed, looking down the steep hill he was just down. "Thank you so much..."

He turned around, and stared at Tracer panting and leaning against the tree before him.

"Calvin?" Andy asked.

"No, the name's Bullet." Tracer replied. "Tracer Bullet. I'm Calvin's third alter ego."

"Uhh... right.." Andy said, rolling his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"That's what I want to know. I'm here against my will as well." Tracer said, looking up at the sky.

"Wait a minute." Andy said, stepping forward. "_Where_ are we?"

Tracer pointed behind Andy.

Andy turned around.

There was a tall, white tower standing high above the mountains.

"We're in the Death Zone." He said. "I found these instructions telling about it."

Tracer pulled a piece of paper out of his trench coat.

"Come on, we have to get to that tower." He said, standing up.

"Why?" Andy asked.

"I'll describe the details while we're walking. We're wasting daylight here." Tracer replied. "Come on!"

Andy glared at him, but followed him all the same.

* * *

"Now," Spiff said, walking down the grassy landscape with Sherman. "Way back when, the beings of this land had great and unbelievable powers. Which they misused, unfortunately." 

Sherman looked around the area.

"What did they do?" He asked

"They used a device called 'The Mind Scoop' which would take other beings right out of existence, and drop them in this place." Spiff growled looking around.

"Why?" Sherman asked.

"Because they were deranged, sociopathic freaks. That's why." Spiff said. "Anyway, they would drop people from different universes and planets here, totally at random, and watch as they slowly destroy each other. Sort of like a giant gladiatorial game..."

"And where are we going?" Sherman demanded.

Spiff pointed at the white tower in the mountains.

"We're going there. To The Dark Tower!" He said, his eyes narrowing.

* * *

Stupendous Man and Socrates had just made their way out of the rocky landscape, and were now walking across a smooth grassy terrain. 

Stupendous Man had read the paper which he had picked up, and had was telling Socrates about it.

"So, in other words, we're playing this game?" Socrates demanded, looking over the landscape. "A game we're not supposed to win?"

Stupendous Man paused.

"I... don't know." He said, scratching his head.

"And what about our goal?" Socrates asked. "Where are we heading?"

"We're going to the Tower of Rassilon." Stupendous Man said, pointing at the tower several miles away. "Or you could call it The Dark Tower. Whichever you prefer. The answers to all our questions are held in that tower."

"I see." Socrates said, rubbing his chin. "And this Rassilon? Who is he?"

"He was the king of the people who did all this." Stupendous Man replied. "He was the one who created the Death Zone."

"Ah, and that, I assume is his humble abode?" Socrates asked.

Stupendous Man stared at him.

"No," He said, flatly. "It's his tomb."

* * *

_ZAAAP!!!!_

On another part of the zone, an electrified swirling portal appeared out of nowhere, and Holographic Retro stepped out of it.

As he exited it, it imploded and vanished from sight.

Retro looked around.

"Hmmm," He said. "Charming..."

Slowly, he started walking down a dirt trail towards some large rocks.

_KABLAM!!!!_

"YIKES!!"

Retro jumped.

A bolt of lightning suddenly struck the ground only inches away from where he had just stood.

He looked around, frantically and stared at the circle of black, charred dirt with smoke raising from it.

"Not the most hospitable environments." He considered, looking towards the sky. "Ah well, lightning never strikes the same place, twice."

_KABLAM!!!_

"YAAAAUGH!!!"

Retro leaped several feet into the air, as a second bolt streaked down from the skies, and hit the exact same spot as the last one.

He glared at the burnt ground, and started backing away.

"Whatever..." He grumbled, turning around, and rushing off down the trail.

Suddenly, the outlines of two figures appeared around the horizon.

Retro stopped, and squinted at them.

Then his eyes popped open.

"Those two..." He said, his eyes narrowing.

* * *

Tracer and Andy walked down the dirt trail. 

Tracer had just finished explaining everything to Andy about The Death Zone, and they were making their way to the tower.

"So, what exactly are we going to do when we get to the tower?" Andy asked, glancing up at the foundation.

"What I always do." Tracer said. "Improvise."

"You mean, you're going to wing it and see what happens?" Andy inquired.

"Yep."

Andy sighed.

"You don't think that maybe..."

Suddenly, a voice interrupted Andy.

"HEY, WAIT!!!"

Tracer and Andy stopped.

They turned around.

Andy's eyes popped open.

"_Retro!!_" He shouted.

Tracer growled, and reached for his gun.

Retro walked up to them.

"An old foe, eh?" Tracer demanded. "I assume you're the one who brought us to this place?"

Retro stared at him.

"No." He said. "For once, I'm innocent. I was sent here to help you."

"Really." Andy asked, his eyebrows jumping. "By whom?"

There was a long pause.

"Uh, I... don't know..." Retro began.

Andy and Tracer's glares deepened.

"But wait!" Retro yelled, reaching into his pocket. "I carry with me the Seal of a Good Man!"

He pulled a golden badge from his pocket.

"Forged." Tracer said, dully.

Andy nodded.

"See for yourself." Retro offered, handing the seal to Tracer.

Tracer grabbed it, and examined each side.

"Stolen." He said, looking back up. "This is obviously a trap."

Retro blinked.

"Now, tell us what you want." Andy said.

Retro glared at them.

"I'm here to help you!" He insisted. "I knew this was going to be hard, but I didn't think you'd make it impossible!!"

"I'll return the seal, first chance I get." Tracer said, expressionlessly, slipping it into his pocket.

Retro slapped his forehead.

"Would you please listen to me?!" He shouted.

Tracer and Andy stared at him, blankly.

"I was captured by some creepy voice, who sent me here to help you get out of here! The whole thing was... ACK!!!"

_KABOOM!_

Suddenly, another bolt of lightning struck the ground, only inches from where Retro was standing.

"There you see?" Tracer said, pointing at Retro. "A trap. We know who's behind _this_ one."

Retro looked around.

"These bolts are coming from nowhere." He said, looking towards the sky.

He looked back down.

Tracer and Andy were running off.

"Hey, WAIT!!" Retro shouted.

_KABOOM!!_

Retro jumped, again.

Another blast of electricity exploded off the ground.

Retro looked from side to side.

Then, he spun around, and fled the scene.

* * *

"Rupert and Earl the aliens are behind this, I just know it!!" Spiff shouted, as he carried Sherman across the barren landscape. 

"Why do you say that?" Sherman asked.

"Well think about it, isn't this just their style?" Spiff said, holding his hand out to the Death Zone. "Capture everyone, and place them in an area where they're the only ones in control, and we're a bunch of lab rats!"

Sherman looked around.

"So you think Rupert and Earl are here?" He asked.

"Oh, sure." Spiff said. "Pretty soon, we're going to be seeing Earl's crew wandering around, grinning and walking into each other. And I'll bet Rupert and Earl are in the tower, waiting for us!"

"This isn't just part of your instinct to always accuse aliens, huh?" Sherman asked, raising an eyebrow.

Spiff stared at him.

"What do you talking about?" He demanded.

Before Sherman could answer, he saw something over the horizon.

"Hey, what's that?" He yelled, pointing ahead.

Spiff looked up.

"Hmm, it appears to be a cardboard box." He said, squinting, and holding his hand on his forehead.

There was a moment of silence.

"Convenience City!" Spiff shouted. "Let's go!"

* * *

"OK," Hobbes said, rooting through the Time Machine. "We have the Time Pauser, Scream Horn, Mini Duplicator, Hypercube, Atomic Freezer, MTM, The Mega-Shrinker 5000, and the Transmogrifier Gun. That's everything, right?" 

He turned to Calvin.

He was still laying on the ground, fading in and out slightly.

"Calvin, what's wrong?!" Hobbes shouted.

"I need to send a signal out..." Calvin gasped, beginning to sit up. "They'll hear it. They'll come."

"WHO WILL COME!!" Hobbes yelled, frantically. "WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!?"

"I'm being sucked into a time vortex..." Calvin said.

There was a pause.

"At least I think I am. Hard to tell, when you're only half alive." He said.

Hobbes blinked.

He grabbed the MTM.

"What do we do?!" He shouted into it.

There was a moment of silence.

Then, a hologram popped out of the machine.

_Don't look at me. I'm just a CD player._

Hobbes glared at it.

"Thanks a lot." He growled.

Just then, the sound of footsteps reached Hobbes' ears.

He spun around.

The dark outline of someone was approaching them.

"HEY!" He shouted. "Stand back! I know Tiger-Kuan-Dou!"

"That's nice." The figure said, walking up to Hobbes.

Hobbes' eyes popped open.

"S-S-Spiff?" He yelled.

"Yes?" Spiff asked, dully.

"What are you doing here?" Hobbes demanded.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Spiff asked.

"I asked, first!" Hobbes yelled.

"Would you two please shut up!" Sherman shouted, irritably. "What's wrong with Calvin?"

Hobbes, Sherman and Spiff all turned around, and stared at Calvin, who was still fading on the ground.

"Hmm, I'm not sure." Spiff said. "Here, hold this."

He handed Hobbes an extremely ticked off Sherman, and walked over to Calvin.

"Yo, original." He said, standing over him. "What up?"

Suddenly, Calvin's eyes popped open, and he suddenly faded back to being solid.

"You're here!" he yelled, standing up.

"Well, I'm not over there." Spiff said, offering a hand to help Calvin up. "So apparently I _am_ here! Good job."

Hobbes and Sherman rolled their eyes.

* * *

Socrates and Stupendous Man walked down the desert landscape, towards the Dark Tower. 

The only plants around them, were small patches of dried grass.

Stupendous Man was expressing his theory on who was behind their kidnapping.

"It was Dr Brainstorm and Jack!" He nodded, flying alongside Socrates.

"You think?" Socrates asked, looking around at him.

"Of course." Stupendous Man said. "This is another one of Frank's inventions going crazy! I'll bet you anything that those two are in that tower, with Brainstorm fiddling away at some random machine while Jack sits off in a lounge chair reading a magazine and sipping soda."

"Huh." Socrates said.

"Doesn't that make sense? As soon as we enter that place, we'll hear that goofball screaming orders at Jack."

"Uh huh."

"You don't believe me?" Stupendous Man inquired.

"Well, I just have a feeling that he's not the one who did this." Socrates said. "This was too well planned out. It couldn't have been him."

There was a moment of silence.

But, then, Stupendous Man suddenly stopped flying.

He hung in the air, for a second, his eyes wide with thought.

"Are we stopping for some reason?" Socrates asked, walking up to him.

"I... I wonder if it was Rassilon himself who brought us here!" Stupendous Man said, thoughtfully.

Socrates stared at him.

"Uh, Stupendous Man?" He asked. "You told me this guy was dead."

"Well, not exactly." Stupendous Man said, turning around. "You see, there were many rumors about Rassilon. Some good and some bad. There's one rumor that the beings who lived here, rebelled against him, and imprisoned him in a chamber of forever sleep. It was thought that Rassilon actually acquired _immortality!_"

Socrates stared at him.

"Immortality, huh?" He asked.

"Yep," Stupendous replied.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Oh boy... We may be playing The Game of Rassilon right now, even as we speak!"

"You're tone isn't very encouraging, Stupendous." Socrates said.

"Yes, I'm aware of that." Stupendous Man said.

There was a pause.

"Well, let's continue then!" Socrates said, stepping forward. "Dark Tower, here we come!"

Stupendous Man groaned.

* * *

"OK, so there are three entrances to the tower." Calvin said, as he and Spiff examined the monitor on the cardboard box, which showed a small version of The Dark Tower. "There's one on the top. One underground, and here the main entrance." 

"I see." Spiff said. "And which entry do you prefer?"

"Well, the main entrance." Calvin said, pointing at the monitor.

"Well, I think we should wait for the others!" Spiff said, straightening up. "I mean, look at you! You're already Destabilized as it is. My presence is only a third of the strength you need to..."

"We don't have the time to wait!" Calvin said. "Now, Hobbes, Vermin and I will go out, and look for the tower."

"HEY!" Sherman shouted.

"What?" Calvin asked, as he and Spiff turned around.

"Why can't we just use the airplane feature in the box to fly us to the tower?" Hobbes asked, before Sherman could protest.

"There's a force field around it." Spiff said. "It would blow the box up."

"I see." Hobbes said. "Never mind."

"Why do we have to come?" Sherman yelled.

"What, do you think I'm going out into The Death Zone without body shields?" Calvin demanded.

There was a pause.

_ZOOM!!!_

Suddenly, Hobbes bolted off in the other direction.

Calvin, Spiff, and Sherman watched him.

"I'll give him eleven seconds." Calvin said.

There was long pause.

_ZOOM!!!_

Suddenly, Hobbes reappeared in front of Calvin and Spiff.

"OK, never mind." he growled. "Let's go."

"What's wrong?" Calvin chuckled. "No where to hide from reality?"

Hobbes glared at him.

Calvin whirled around to Spiff.

"Now, you'll pilot the box to the tower once I've shut off the force field, right?"

"Of course, I will." Spiff said, dully.

"Right, good. Let's go then!"

And with that, Calvin, Hobbes and Sherman went out in search of The Dark Tower.

* * *

"We're almost there!" Calvin shouted, looking ahead to the tower, which stood about ten or twenty miles away from them. 

"That's very nice, Calvin." Hobbes growled, hiking up towards him. "How far have we gone so far?"

"Oh I dunno. 'Bout a hundred feet. MOVING ON!!"

Hobbes and Sherman groaned.

But just as they were continuing, a voice reached their ears.

"Calvin!"

Calvin stopped.

He turned around.

Holographic Retro was standing at the bottom of the hill staring up at him.

"Retro!" Sherman yelled.

"Stay here." Calvin said.

"To heck with that. I'm coming!" Hobbes yelled.

He put Sherman back onto the ground, and he and Calvin walked down towards Retro.

Retro remained still.

"OK, Rety!" Calvin spat. "What are you up to, now?"

Retro and Hobbes stared at Calvin for a long moment.

"What?" Calvin demanded.

"Rety?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin glared at him.

"For once, I mean you no harm, Calvin." Retro said, straightening up. "I have been sent by... someone... who wanted me to save you."

"You don't say." Calvin said, sarcastically. "And I suppose Rupert and Earl are going to end up being the Angels of Joy and Happiness in the end, right?"

Retro stared at him.

Suddenly, unbeknownst to Calvin, Hobbes, and Retro, a tall silver robot appeared around one of the hills.

However, this time, it wasn't the lazy and totally harmless Jack, who assisted Dr Brainstorm.

This robot had a cubical head with wires sticking out all around it. It had small red eyes, and a muscular body. It was also holding a laser cannon.

It walked up to the top of the hill, and stared at Calvin, Hobbes and Retro for a long moment.

Then, silently, it turned around, and stared walking back down the hill.

It walked up to a large group of robots who looked exactly like the first one.

"I have found the ones who operate the Time Machine." It said in an electronic voice.

"Excellent." The one in the front, the leader, said in the exact same voice.

"I will lead the charge up, and destroy them." The first one said, pointing towards the hill.

"NO!" The leader said, holding a hand up to stop him. "Capture them alive! They have to be interrogated, first. Calvin is also the only one who can pilot the Time Machine."

The first one nodded.

Then, it walked over to the group of robots.

"Here are your orders." It said.

* * *

"Be reasonable, Calvin." Retro said. 

"I am." Calvin said. "Hobbes, you being reasonable?"

"As much as I can, sure." Hobbes nodded.

"We've listened to your story, Retro. Neither of us believe you." Calvin said, crossing his arms.

Retro pulled out a laser gun.

"As you can see, I am armed. I could easily destroy you if I wanted to." He said, raising his eyebrows.

"And not humiliate me first?" Calvin chuckled. "Is that really your style, Larry?"

Retro reached into his pocket, again.

"I also carry with me a transmat device. Which will take me back to wherever it was I was at before I came here." He said, holding up the tan sphere with the button in the middle.

"Brilliant." Hobbes said, crossing his arms.

"We would, however, want further proof." Calvin said.

Retro glared at them.

"Another one of your selves took it from me." He said.

"I see." Calvin said, rubbing his chin. "Do you expect me to believe that?"

Just then, Hobbes caught a glimpse of silver out of the corner of his eye.

He looked around.

There were at least sixty of the silver robots all marching up to them from the top of the hill, each one holding a laser cannon.

"AAUGH!!" He yelled, pointing at them. "ROBOTS!!! LOTS OF ROBOTS!!!"

Calvin and Retro spun around.

"What are those?!" Calvin shouted.

Retro's eyes narrowed.

"They're Cybermen." He said, through gritted teeth.

"Well, that's all I need to know. See ya!" Hobbes yelled.

_ZOOM!!!_

Hobbes vanished.

Calvin and Retro then spun around and stared running, too.

"_HAAAAALT!!!!_" The Cybermen leader screeched. "Or you will be destroyed!"

* * *

At the other side of the hill, Sherman's eyes popped open, and he rushed off in the other direction back towards the Time Machine. 

Figures.

* * *

When Calvin, Hobbes, and Retro did not respond to the Cybermen's warning, the leader gave the hand signal to attack. 

_BLASSST!!!_

Lasers went after the trio with deadly force, and began blowing up parts of the ground.

_BOOOM!_

"AAAAUGH!!!"

Calvin stopped, as Retro was blown totally off his feet, and onto the ground, several feet away.

He stared at him for a second.

Then he stared at the approaching Cybermen.

He turned to the direction that Hobbes had run off to.

"HOBBES!" Calvin shouted.

Hobbes stopped running.

He turned around, and rushed back to him.

"What is it?" He yelled.

"Retro's down!" Calvin shouted.

Hobbes stared at him.

"You pulled me away from my safety procedure to tell me _that?!_" He yelled.

Calvin looked around.

The Cybermen were marching over to him, pointing their laser cannons at him.

"I have an idea." Calvin said, looking back at Hobbes.

He rushed over to Retro's unconscious form.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out the Transmat device.

Hobbes walked over to him, and stared.

"Hang on to my hand, Hobbes, I'm assuming this thing works through touch!" Calvin yelled.

Hobbes grabbed Calvin's hand.

The Cybermen leader marched up to Calvin and pointed his laser cannon at him.

"You will be accompanying us." It said, dangerously.

Calvin grinned, sweetly at it.

"Sorry. Must dash."

And with that, he pushed the button on the device.

_ZAAAP!!!_

Suddenly, with a flash of light, Calvin and Hobbes both vanished into thin air.

The Cybermen all looked around in confusion.

They were both gone.


	13. The Five Calvins P3

_Part three written by Garfieldodie_

Calvin and Hobbes found themselves appearing in a transmat platform.

They were greeted by a dark room. There were a few objects scattered about the place.

"Huh," said Hobbes. "Well, this is a turn up, isn't it?"

Calvin looked at the transmat device.

"Hobbes, we must appreciate the irony of the situation," he said.

"Why's that?"

"_We_ just did _Retro_ an injustice!"

"Well, if those Cyber-whatsits don't kill him, I'm sure he'll learn to live with the misjudgment."

"So, if Retro didn't do this, then who did?" Calvin continued, walking around the room.

Hobbes walked around as well.

"Hello?!" he shouted. "Anybody here?"

A voice greeted them.

"WHO DARES DISTURB ME?!?" the disembodied voice shouted.

Hobbes was so startled he fell over.

Calvin looked around for the source of the voice, but found no one.

"Who…who said that?" he asked.

"That is for me to know," the voice replied.

"And for us to find out?" Calvin guessed.

There was a silence.

"Whatever. Anyway, I'm guessing you're the one who sent Retro in the Death Zone after us, right?" Calvin asked.

"Indeed," the voice said.

"Well, we're here now, so what do you want?" Hobbes demanded.

No answer.

"Hobbes, don't ask questions like that!" Calvin scolded. "Don't you ever watch those science fiction movies?"

Hobbes thought.

"Okay, here's a question for the voice!" he said. "Who has this Mind Scoop thing I've been hearing about from Spaceman Spiff?"

"I don't know," the voice said. "I was hoping you could tell me."

"But then that means that someone has access to it!" Calvin said. "Who would that be?"

"I thought no one."

"But this means it must still exist!" Calvin continued. "Someone obviously has access to it! Now then, we can cross off myself and Hobbes as suspects, as well as my alter egos. Sherman was here, so that must also mean Andy and Socrates are here, and all three of _them_ are innocent. Then of course, Retro is clearly in the clear."

"Who does that leave?" asked Hobbes.

"A bunch of jerk aliens, and a mad scientist," Calvin replied. "And whoever it was clearly has thought this through!"

"How so?" the voice asked.

"Because those Cybermen found us far too easily!" Calvin exclaimed who was running the genius side of his brain at full pelt.

"Almost like they were supposed to!" said Hobbes, catching on.

Calvin nodded. "And they were clearly helped!" He revealed the small device. "Retro was to keep this on him at all times: the Transmat Recall Device!"

Calvin ripped off the top of it.

"And from within, we find a homing beacon!"

Indeed, when Hobbes looked inside, he noticed the small flashing device inside it.

"What does this mean?" Hobbes asked.

"It means, my dear Hobbes, that there is more to this than we think," Calvin replied.

Suddenly, the room lit up.

They looked around in surprise.

"I think we stepped in something," Calvin commented.

* * *

Tracer and Andy were stumbling along some rocks up a hill. 

"I_ thought_ we were going to the tower!" Andy complained.

"We _are_," Tracer insisted. "The reason we're going _this_way is so that we can get to the top entrance to the tower a bit easier."

"Isn't there another way?"

"Yes, but it would take hours for us to get there from here, and besides, we're almost there. Just a few hundred more yards to go."

Andy nodded. It seemed reasonable.

Then they noticed something at the bottom of the hill.

"Ah, those are Cybermen," he commented. "Spiff mentioned them to me once. They're robotic killers in search of using time travel. Clearly Retro has used the Mind Scoop to bring them here."

"Then maybe _we'd_ better get out of here," Andy suggested.

"And we shall."

They quickly ducked behind some trees and into some rolling fog for cover.

They left so soon they didn't noticed Retro was with them…

* * *

Socrates was being led by Stupendous Man around a rocky area. 

As they traveled, Stupendous Man stopped to walk near a fire-lit pole.

"What are we doing here?" Socrates dared to ask.

"We're here to get into the Dark Tower, of course," said Stupendous Man, taking the torch.

"Through here?"

"We're going to take the underground entrance. It should be through here."

"Oh swell!" Socrates moaned.

Stupendous Man then saw an opening in the rock face, and he proceeded in leading Socrates through it.

A good few minutes into the cave, it was soon revealed to be a tunnel.

"We should be at the tower very soon," Stupendous Man said. "This tunnel continues uphill."

Socrates groaned.

"My feet _hurt!_" he said sadly.

"_**GGGRRRRRRR!**_"

They both looked back.

"What was that?" Socrates asked.

"It sounded very large, very scary, and very hungry," Stupendous Man said.

"Hmmm… Not a very good combination."

They continued further.

* * *

Tracer and Andy climbed to another ledge of the mountain next to the Dark Tower. 

"How much further?" Andy asked.

Tracer looked back at him casually.

"You know, that question never gets old," he said. "Do ask it again sometime in the next forty-five seconds."

Andy sighed.

"Sorry, but I've never had to climb a mountain before."

"Yeah, I remember that time Calvin's dad forced him to climb a mountain," Tracer chuckled. "He used me to tide him over for a good half hour."

Andy then looked ahead.

"Hey, it's a dead end!" he complained.

Tracer looked up.

"Not quite," he said. "We could always climb up to the cliff up there."

"Oh, fantastic!" Andy moaned. "This is the worst vacation ever!"

Suddenly, Tracer's ears picked up some movement.

"What was that?!?" he asked quickly.

"What was what?" Andy asked, getting closer to him.

"Something just flashed by us. I heard it."

"Are you sure?"

"Look!"

Andy looked ahead.

At first he saw nothing.

Then something popped into the spot.

It looked like a very shiny human, but he knew it wasn't.

"What is it?" Andy asked.

"It's the Raston Warrior Robot," Tracer whispered. "It's the most perfect killing machine ever devised."

"Really? What's it do?"

_SWISH!_

Andy and Tracer stared at the arrow at their feet.

"That," Tracer replied.

They quickly ducked behind some rocks.

"The arrows are built it in, and they can detect movement," he whispered.

"Anything else?"

"Yes. They move like lightening."

As if on cue, the RWR suddenly zapped out of that one spot, and reappeared in another a few yards away in a split-second.

Then, it zapped right back again.

"What's it doing?" Andy asked.

"Toying with us," Tracer replied.

"What should we do? Can't you use your gun?"

"Useless," Tracer said. "It could dodge any bullet I shot at it. We're going to have to outwit it."

Suddenly, the RWR disappeared again.

"Come on!" said Tracer, leading Andy away from one rock pile and towards another.

They hadn't yet noticed that some Cybermen were making their way up the mountain.

Once they were hidden, they heard the RWR reappear again.

They gasped slightly.

It was just in front of them, but with it's back to them.

"Don't move, or we're dead," Tracer hissed.

* * *

Stupendous Man and Socrates continued along their way, but now the growling thing was following them. 

"Stupendous, I think that creature has our scent! It's following us!" Socrates cried, quickening his pace.

"Are you sure?" Stupendous Man asked.

"I'm a jungle cat! I _know_ these things!"

"_**RRROOOOOOWWWWLLLL!**_" the creature screamed.

Socrates and Stupendous Man hurried further down the tunnel until they saw an opening in the wall.

Thinking quickly, Stupendous Man pushed Socrates inside.

"You hide there!" he ordered. "I'll handle it!"

"What a guy," Socrates sighed, squeezing himself inside.

The creature revealed itself.

"What is it?" Socrates asked.

"It's a Yeti. It must've been leftover from the games. They were good sports when they lost, but got a little crazy whenever they won!"

"This guy must've been the winner of the Yeti Super Bowl!" Socrates said, quickly ducking inside the tavern.

Stupendous Man got to work fast. He tried to ward the Yeti off with his fire-lit torch, but the Yeti just waved at it.

Putting it aside for now, Stupendous Man immediately dug around in his pockets.

"Hurry up, you heroic numbskull!" Socrates shouted.

"Shut up, you pathetic excuse for a tiger!"

Stupendous Man quickly pulled out a small device with a fuse on it. He quickly lit it on the torch. Then he aimed it at the Yeti.

"Take this, you sore winner!" he shouted.

Sparks flew off the device and backed the Yeti away.

Then abandoning the small sparkler, Stupendous Man grabbed the torch and ducked into the alcove with Socrates, immediately covering his ears.

"What was that?" Socrates asked.

"What?"

Socrates pulled a hand off of his ear.

"What was that?"

"Just a firecracker."

_**BOOM!**_

The firecracker exploded.

The Yeti roared louder.

"_**BBRRRROOOOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLL!!**_"

"……And now it's madder! Good going, genius!" Socrates yelled.

The Yeti tried to get to them, but it couldn't fit through the small opening.

Instead, it caused the mouth of the alcove to collapse, keeping it out.

"Hey, that worked!" said Stupendous Man triumphantly.

"Yeah, perfect!" said Socrates angrily. "Now _we're_ trapped. We're buried alive!"

Stupendous Man then glanced at the torch in his hand. The flame was at a slant.

"There's a breeze!" he said. "And when there's a wind, there's a way!"

Walking sideways, Stupendous Man and Socrates slid further down into alcove.

Soon, they found a small wooden door in the wall.

"Heh, heh!" Stupendous Man said happily. "We've made it! This is the underground entry to the Dark Tower! Shall we enter?"

"Yes, we shall," said Socrates, grinning.

Stupendous Man went through the door.

Socrates' grin faded.

"It's not like I have a choice," he said to himself.

He quickly followed.

* * *

Tracer and Andy were still waiting for a clear chance from the RWR. 

They hadn't moved a muscle for a full ten minutes.

"Tracer," Andy whispered. "I don't mean to complain, but I'm seriously beginning to cramp up!"

Tracer was already thinking hard. He glanced to the right.

Then he finally saw it.

A Cyberman was coming up into view.

Tracer grinned.

"Okay, we have one chance," he whispered to Andy. "Just don't pull that stupid 'my nose itches' line on me, and we'll be fine."

The Cyberman approached the RWR cautiously.

Naturally, as Tracer had anticipated, the RWR started to fling arrows at it.

_**BANG! BAM! BOOM!**_

The Cyberman was instantly destroyed.

Tracer and Andy took advantage of this and ducked behind the rocks more properly.

Just then, more Cybermen came over the ridge.

The RWR began to attack them and destroy them.

Tracer and Andy watched with interest.

Then they saw a tunnel ahead in the side of the cliff.

"Come on!" Tracer whispered.

They quietly snuck away towards it.

When they got there, Tracer quickly stopped him. There were supplies for the RWR there.

"Quick, grab the extra arrows," Tracer ordered. "We'll take these ropes and pulleys with us as well."

Quickly grabbing what they could carry, they ran further into the tunnel.

They walked for a while before they reached a cliff that overlooked the Dark Tower.

As Tracer began to work with the supplies, Andy gazed at it.

"What now?" Andy asked. "Should we fly across?"

"Keep that sense of sarcasm in handy, Andrew," Tracer said. "You'll go far in life."

Tracer proceeded in taking one of the ropes and tying it around a giant boulder.

As he was checking the knots, Andy saw something coming over the rocks towards them.

"Tracer! Cybermen!" he cried.

"Hold them off," Tracer ordered.

Andy stared at him.

"Oh, that's nice, isn't it? Making _me_do all the work!"

Tracer looked up at him.

"Andy, here's a survival tip: never bother a man with a loaded gun," he said.

Andy stared at him, but with wider eyes this time.

Then he quickly started to throw rocks at the Cybermen.

As he did this, Tracer began to attach the other end of the rope to the arrow, and then he picked up his gun and started to stick it in it.

Andy watched as he heaved another rock.

"Are you crazy? That'll never work!" he said.

"You got any better ideas?" Tracer asked, taking aim.

Andy backed away.

_**BAM!**_

The arrow was fired across the ravine so that it struck the ledge of a balcony on the Dark Tower.

It stuck tight.

* * *

Retro was watching from below at the tail of the Cyberman pact. 

"Ever resourceful, that Mr Bullet," he commented.

* * *

It was a long trip across, but by using smaller ropes and the pulleys they had found, Tracer and Andy were able to ride across the long rope to the ledge.

It took a lot of work, but soon, both of them managed to climb up and onto the balcony.

"Phew!" said Andy. "That was a workout. Think I'll do it again next year!"

Tracer rolled his eyes.

They began to look around the top entrance of the Dark Tower.

"Well, we're here," said Andy. "How do we get in?"

Tracer looked around for a bit, but then he spotted a hatch door in the side of the wall.

"Through there, would you believe?" he asked.

He opened the door, and Andy and Tracer entered the Dark Tower.


	14. The Five Calvins P4

_Part four written by Swing123_

"Uh huh..." Spiff said, tapping his chin. "And then what happened?"

"They both disappeared!" Sherman said, looking back to where they had just been.

"Hmm," Spiff considered. "And this Retro fellow, what happened to him?"

There was a pause.

"Uh, I didn't really stay long enough to see..." Sherman began.

"You don't say..." Spiff said, thoughtfully. "OK, then, I've made my decision."

Sherman looked up.

"I'm heading for the main gate myself!" Spiff declared, holding his fist to the air.

Sherman slapped his forehead.

"Well, then I'm coming too." He growled, walking up to Spiff.

"What? Oh sure whatever." Spiff said, uninterestedly. "Can we bring any of the inventions with us?"

He walked over to the Time Machine, and looked inside.

"No." Sherman said. "Calvin took all them with him inside his Hypercube."

"Really!" Spiff said, standing up. "Well he forgot _this!_"

He held up a small, yellow spherical item with a red button on top.

"The Time Pauser?" Sherman asked.

"Exactly! Now let's go!"

Spiff then stood up, fixed his Death Ray Blaster into his holder, picked Sherman off the ground, and walked off down the hill.

About ninety minutes went by.

Luckily with the use of the Time Pauser, they were able to get there in less than a millisecond.

Spiff climbed up to the top of yet another hill, and looked around.

"AH HA!" He yelled, pointing forward. "We're here!"

Sherman, still placed in Spiff's pocket, looked up.

Ahead of them, only about seventy yards away, was The Dark Tower, looming before them.

Spiff triumphantly moved forward towards it.

He walked up to the front entrance, and took the Time Pauser out.

_**BOOM!!!**_

Then, he slipped it back into his pocket, and turned back to the main entrance.

There, he looked around for some means of entry.

The door was completely sealed shut.

Sherman looked up at it.

"I hope you don't assume on ringing the doorbell?" He demanded, looking at Spiff.

"No, that would be too simple." Spiff said, barely hearing what the hamster said. "There must be a better way to get in here."

Just then, Spiff spotted a pole on the ground with a large golden bell on it.

"Hmm, a bell?" He asked.

Slowly, he lifted the bell off, and grinned.

"_HOT_ dog!" He shouted.

Sherman looked around.

"What?"

"A control panel!" Spiff said, looking back up at the door. "We get in through here!"

And with that, he began pushing buttons on the panel.

_BEEP BOOP BIP BEEP BEEP BOP_

_VROOOOOOOM!!!_

Spiff and Sherman both jumped.

Suddenly, the door to the tower, was lifting, revealing the interior of the tower.

Spiff grinned.

"Just solving one problem after another here!" He chuckled.

Sherman sighed.

Without any hesitation, Spiff walked straight into the tower.

For a while, they just walked through winding hallways, lit with torches, until they began to realize something was happening.

"Uh, Spiff?" Sherman asked.

"What?"

"I'm starting to feel a little sick to my stomach."

"Huh. It must mean we're approaching Rassilon's tomb. He's using his brain power to stop us from proceeding. Just ignore it, like I do!"

Sherman rolled his eyes.

Just then, the hallways ended, and Spiff and Sherman found themselves inside a large room.

Spiff looked down.

Right before them was a large platform, which appeared to be a chess board.

"Hmmm," Spiff considered, rubbing his chin in thought.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a quarter.

"We have to pay?" Sherman asked.

Spiff glared at him.

"We_ may_ have to pay with our life, small one!" He said.

And with that, Spiff threw the quarter onto the first square.

_CLANG!_

They paused.

Nothing happened.

"OK, that one's safe." Spiff said.

He took out a second quarter and threw it onto the second square.

_CLANG!_

Once again, nothing happened.

Spiff chuckled, and pulled out a third quarter.

_CLANG!!_

Where was he getting all these quarters?

Spiff pulled a fourth quarter out of his pocket, and threw it onto the fourth square.

_CLANG!!_

"How long are you going to play Pitch and Toss?" Sherman demanded, glaring up at Spiff.

"Patience, small rodent!" Spiff snapped.

Sherman glared at him.

Spiff took his fifth quarter, and threw it across the board, and into the very middle square.

_BRA-ZAAAAAP!!!!_

Sherman jumped.

Suddenly, the entire board became electrified, as blasts of lightning struck every square inch of it.

Spiff turned a smug grin onto Sherman.

"So there you have it." He said. "Nothing happens until we reach the middle of the board, and then the entire thing becomes a death trap."

"What a sense of humor those beings had." Came a voice from behind Spiff.

Spiff whirled around, and faced Holographic Retro.

"Hey!" Sherman screamed as Spiff ripped out his Death Ray Blaster. "What are _you_ doing here?!"

Retro sighed.

"Think what you like, but I suggest you hide." He said. "I have some suspicious looking characters behind me."

Spiff and Sherman stared at him for a long moment.

"Cybermen." Retro said.

"HIDE!!" Sherman yelled.

Spiff whirled around, and dove behind a wall with Sherman.

Retro paused, then turned around.

The Cybermen suddenly appeared around the corner, each one still holding their laser cannons.

Retro chuckled.

"OK, as I promised, I have lead you to The Dark Tower. Rassilon is at your mercy. May I ask for my freedom, now?"

"No." The Cybermen leader snapped. "Not until we've completed our task."

"Whatever."

Retro then turned around, and faced the chess board.

He turned his head at the Cybermen, who were pausing at the doorway.

"Do you fear an empty room?" Retro asked, raising an eyebrow.

The Cybermen stared at him.

"Shall I lead the way?" Retro inquired.

He held up a hand, and started walking across the board.

He paused at the fourth row, and turned back to the Cybermen.

They stared at him.

"You will cross to the far side!" The Cybermen leader said, holding his laser cannon up.

"Very well."

Retro turned back around and effortlessly strolled across the rest of the board.

Spiff and Sherman exchanged confused glances.

"How's that?" He asked, grinning.

The Cybermen continued to stare at him.

Retro shrugged, then began hopping one-legged across the board back at them.

Then, he turned around, again, and started jumping across the board on both feet.

Then, he turned around, a third time, and strolled back across to the robots.

"Is that enough proof for you?" He asked, stopping in front of them.

The Cybermen leader looked from Retro to the board, and then back to Retro.

Then he turned to his troops.

"Take the patrol across." He ordered, pointing across the board.

The other Cybermen looked at each other, then slowly began moving across the board.

Retro and the Cybermen leader stood off to the side.

Then, one of the Cybermen placed its foot on the fifth square.

_ZZZZZZZAAAAAP!!!_

"AAAAAAAAUGH!!!"

Retro and the Cybermen leader watched, as lightning suddenly struck down from the ceiling, and cut through all the robots.

With anguish screeches they all collapsed onto the ground, as their hardware blew up under the impact.

There was a moment of silence.

Retro bent down over one of the dead Cybermen.

"You have betrayed us." The leader said, advancing over Retro with his laser cannon. "Why?"

"Betrayed?" Retro yelled, snatching the killed Cybermen's laser cannon away, and hiding it behind his back. "No, no! I didn't betray you! I mean... well, maybe a little... but the safe path is always changing!"

The leader shoved its laser cannon into Retro's chest.

"You will show me the safe path." It growled, dangerously.

Retro glared at it.

"Very well." He said.

And with that, Retro turned, and began walking across the board, again, stepping over the fallen Cybermen.

The Cybermen leader followed him.

Just then, Retro whirled around, and pointed the laser cannon at it.

_KA-ZAP!!!_

"AAAAUGH!!"

The Cybermen leader stepped backward off the board, electricity surrounding it.

Slowly, it held up its own laser cannon, and pointed it at Retro.

Retro fired, again.

_KA-ZAP!!_

"AAAAAAUGH!!!!"

This time, the Cyberman was thrown off his feet, and he landed on the ground in a heap.

Retro chuckled, and threw the gun away.

Slowly, Spiff and Sherman walked out from behind the wall, and up to Retro.

"Wasn't that a little ruthless?" Sherman demanded. "Even for you?"

"Oh come on, they're just robots." Spiff said.

Retro nodded in agreement.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway, the board is still dangerous!" Sherman yelled.

"Oh, you think so?" Retro asked, looking back at him.

Then, without any effort at all, the hardlight hologram strolled across the board, and onto the other side.

"I'm telling you, Spiff, it's as easy as pie." He said, turning a grin onto the duo, before running off down the hallway.

Spiff and Sherman stared after him.

"Pie?" Sherman asked, his eyes popping open.

"Ah, no thanks, I'm full." Spiff said, rubbing his stomach.

"No, you fool, he said it was easy as _pie!_" Sherman yelled.

"Yes, that's what he said," Spiff nodded.

There was a pause.

"No it wasn't!" Sherman yelled.

Spiff stared at him.

"OK, now you're starting to get confusing."

"He said it was easy as _pi!_ The Greek letter pi! Surely you know some basic mathematics!" Sherman yelled.

"Of course I do!" Spiff sniffed. "The ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter is represented by pi..."

There was a pause.

"Right?" He asked

"Right." Sherman said, rolling his eyes.

"Phew..." Spiff wiped some sweat from his forehead. "I hate math..."

"Now, then," Sherman said, turning to the board. "We find the safe path across using the mathematical formula pi! But the application... let's see..."

Sherman pointed at the squares on the board.

"3.14...159..._265!_ That's it! Put me down at once!"

Spiff sighed, and put the hamster on the ground.

Then, Sherman rushed across the board, avoiding the various Cybermen which littered it.

Then, he stopped at the other side, and turned to Spiff.

"Now!" He shouted.

Spiff stared at him.

"I hope you have your sums right." He sighed.

And he stepped onto the board.

* * *

Stupendous Man and Socrates flew silently through the tower. 

Mostly, they were going through a winding staircase, along the hallway.

Suddenly, Socrates stopped.

He looked around the hallway.

Stupendous Man paused, and looked back at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Uh, Stupendous, do you happen to be feeling invisible hands pushing you back or... something?"

"Yes, I do." Stupendous Man said. "It's the mind of Rassilon. You have to fight it."

"I see." Socrates considered. "You don't seem to be having any problems with it."

"Of course not." Stupendous Man said. "_I'm _ignoring it."

"Right." Socrates said, rolling his eyes.

The duo continued.

Just then, an ear piercing scream cut through the darkness.

"AAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!"

Socrates and Stupendous Man jumped.

"ACK!!!" Socrates yelled. "What was _that?!_"

"It was a scream, what did you _think _it was?" Stupendous Man demanded.

"HELP!!!"

Socrates and Stupendous Man looked around.

"It came from over there!" Socrates said, pointing down one of the hallways.

Stupendous Man bolted down the hallway after the voice.

Socrates ran after him.

They both emerged in another small room.

Stupendous Man was the first to enter.

When he did his mouth dropped open.

"Suie?_ MOE?_" He shouted.

Socrates ran up.

"What'd I miss?" He asked, cheerily.

Then he spotted Susie and Moe standing at the base of another staircase.

"Oh." he said.

"How did _you_ get here?" Stupendous Man demanded.

"The same way you did." Moe said. "The Mind Scoop brought us here."

"Huh." Stupendous Man said. "Well that explains it. Moving on!"

The hero then moved towards the stairs.

"No, wait! You have to go back!" Susie shouted. "There's a force field!"

Stupendous Man stopped.

"A_ force field?!_" He demanded. "Well, we'll see about that."

He advanced over the stairs.

"NO!" Moe shouted. "If you come any closer, it will kill us!"

Stupendous Man paused.

"Oh. Would it leave a mess?"

"A big one." Susie replied.

"Well, we don't want that."

Stupendous Man backed off.

"What do we do?" Socrates asked.

"Get them out of here!" Stupendous Man yelled. "I'll look for a different way inside the tomb."

"No!" Moe yelled. "Neither of you can get any closer!"

"Go back!" Susie shouted. "Save yourself."

"Man, is she always this shrill?" Socrates asked.

Stupendous Man glared.

"There has to be another way into the tomb."

"But they'd still be trapped." Socrates said, pointing at Susie and Moe.

"Socrates is right!" Moe said.

Stupendous Man thought for a moment.

Then, suddenly, his eyes popped open.

"Or would they...?" He considered.

He turned a thoughtful glare onto Susie and Moe.

Then, he began walking towards them.

"Stay back!" Moe yelled.

"Don't come any closer!" Susie added.

"Why?" Stupendous Man asked, moving forward. "I can't harm you."

"One more step and we're dead!" Susie yelled.

Stupendous Man stared at them.

Then, he took another step forward.

Susie and Moe gasped.

"You can't kill phantoms. You're illusions of the minds. Another one of Rassilon's traps!"

There was a pause.

"And, of course, I knew it all the time!" he said, triumphantly.

Socrates rolled his eyes.

Susie and Moe stared at Stupendous Man for a moment.

Then, suddenly, they both began screaming.

With a large gust of wind, the phantoms vanished from sight.

There was a moment of silence.

Socrates blinked.

"Uh, did I miss something?"

"Yes." Stupendous Man said, expressionlessly. "You've missed several things since this special began. Now, let's go."

And with that, Stupendous Man and Socrates made their way up the staircase.

* * *

Meanwhile, near the top of the tower, Tracer Bullet and Andy were making their way through the tower, as well. 

Andy was beginning to slow down, slightly.

"I... I can't go on!" Andy said, suddenly stopping.

Tracer turned around.

"I'm just feeling this intensifying fear with each step. I feel like something horrible is going to happen."

Tracer looked back towards the hallway.

"Yes, I feel it, too. It's the mind of Rassilon. Reaching out to attack us. Try to fight it."

"I... I'm trying but... I... I just can't.." Andy said, taking a step back.

"OK, here."

Tracer raced up, and took Andy's hand.

"Just sit down for a second."

Slowly, Andy sat down on the steps.

Tracer then turned, and started walking off.

"Wait a minute!" Andy yelled. "Where are you going?"

Tracer looked back.

"Oh, I'm just going to assess the threat over there. Won't be but a second." He said.

And with that, he turned, and started walking down the hallway.

"Wimp." He muttered under his breath.

He rounded a corner and moved out of sight.

Andy sat on the stair, looked around, and shaking.

* * *

Tracer strolled down the hallway, and suddenly came to a fork in the road. 

He cut his eyes from side to side, and started down the tunnel on the right.

"Tracer." A voice said, suddenly.

Tracer stopped, and whirled around.

"ACK!! Who goes there!" He shouted, weakly.

Then, he spotted something.

Miss Wormwood and Rosalyn were walking down the tunnel towards him.

"Oh, it's only you." Tracer said, calming down. "Whatever."

Then, he turned around, and started walking off, again.

"Wait a minute!" Rosalyn yelled, holding out a hand to stop Tracer.

Tracer turned around.

"What?" He demanded. "I'm very busy you know."

"You're other selves are here." Miss Wormwood said, pointing down the tunnel on the left. "They need your help, desperately."

"Oh, you mean, the original, Spiff, and that other guy?" Tracer asked, turning around.

"Yes," Rosalyn said. "They need you."

"Why?"

There was a moment of silence.

"They didn't say." Miss Wormwood replied, finally.

"Huh." Tracer said. "OK."

He walked back up the tunnel, and back towards Wormwood and Rosalyn.

"Let me just go fetch Andy-rew, over there, and we'll be good to go."

"I'll get him." Rosalyn said, suddenly stepping in front of Tracer.

Tracer paused.

He looked back and forth between Miss Wormwood and Rosalyn.

"Uh, no... I think I better go get him. He's pretty shook up as it is."

"We'll get him." Miss Wormwood said. "You're other selves need your help."

Tracer cut his eyes from side to side.

Then, he suddenly made a move around Rosalyn, who quickly stepped back in front of him.

Tracer then ducked between her and Miss Wormwood, and raced off back towards Andy.

"Wait!" Miss Wormwood yelled.

"Stop him!" Rosalyn shouted.

"You're not _REAL!!_" Tracer shouted, looking behind his shoulder. "You're illusions of the mind! _PHANTOMS!!_"

He rounded a corner and went out of sight.

"STOP HIIIIIIIIIIIMM!!!" Miss Wormwood screeched.

Then, suddenly, with a gush of wind, they both vanished.

Andy jumped.

"What was that?!" He shouted, as Tracer rounded the corner. "I heard a scream!"

"Oh, just some minor annoyances." The detective said, waving it off. "Come on, let's go."

Andy paused, but then hurried to keep up as Tracer turned, and stared walking off, again.

* * *

Spaceman Spiff was the first one to enter Rassilon's tomb. 

He looked around it.

"Well," He said to Sherman, whom he held in his hand. "We've arrived."

"Great." Sherman said. "Now what?"

"Well..." Spiff placed Sherman on the ground, and looked around.

Then, he spotted a stand in the middle of the room.

"Ah ha!" The spaceman declared.

He walked over to it, and began examining it.

"Interesting!_ Very _interesting!" He said, rubbing his chin.

"What is it?" Sherman asked.

"It's a tablet written in Ancient Gallifreyan here!" Spiff said, standing up.

"Ancient what?" Sherman asked, raising eyebrow.

"Oh, I dunno, the people who used to live here. Now shut up, while I try to decode it."

Sherman glared at Spiff.

Just then, the sound of footsteps reached the duo's ears.

They looked up.

Out of another hallway, came Tracer and Andy.

Andy was looking around, confused, and Tracer was whistling to himself.

"Well, there you are!" Spiff yelled. "What kept you!"

Tracer turned a glare onto Spiff.

"What_ kept _me?!" He demanded. "Well I'll have you know..."

"Never mind you can tell me, later." Spiff said, turning back to the stand. "Come look at this."

Tracer glared at Spiff, but came over all the same, and examined the writing.

"Shermie!" Andy yelled, running over to Sherman. "You're alright."

"Of course I'm alright." Sherman said, as Andy snatched him up. "What are they doing over there?"

Andy looked at the two alter egos.

"I dunno..." He began.

"Speaking of which," Spiff said, turning around. "What happened to that other guy? The one with the cape?"

Andy and Sherman stared at Spiff.

"Uhh... well..." Andy began.

"I'm right here, thank you very much." Came a voice.

Spiff, Tracer, Andy and Sherman all turned around.

Out of the third hallway, came Stupendous Man and Socrates.

Socrates was humming the Doctor Who theme song, and Stupendous Man was floating alongside him.

"Of course I'm here!" Stupendous Man yelled, moving forward. "You think I'd miss out on all the action? What's this?"

The super hero shoved the annoyed Tracer and Spiff out of the way, and began studying the stand.

"Ah, greetings Andrew!" Socrates said, holding his hand out. "Greetings Small one! Nice to see you again!"

"Thanks." Andy said, taking Socrates' hand, and shaking it.

"Whatever." Sherman grumbled.

"Now then," Socrates spun back around to the alter egos. "What are you doing?"

"Shut up." Tracer spat. "We're trying to read."

Socrates glared at them.

"OK, fine." He said, turning around. "Leave us in the dark. Doesn't matter if we've been going through all this for the past few hours._ You go ahead and read your little tablet._"

The alter egos rolled their eyes, and continued reading.


	15. The Five Calvins P5

_Part five written by Garfieldodie_

Calvin and Hobbes had not heard from the disembodied voice for a few hours, and they were trying in vain to escape from the dark room.

"Well, the transmat beam is out of power," Calvin announced, finally finishing an inspection on the machine. "We can't go back the way we came."

"Great," Hobbes moaned. "This is probably the worst day of my life."

"You say that everyday, Hobbes," Calvin sighed. "Come on. Maybe there's another way out."

As they searched the walls of the room, Calvin noticed something in the corner.

It was a painting of a person playing a harp.

And next to it was a giant harp.

Calvin went to inspect it more closely.

"Hmmm…," he said. "_The Harp of Rassilon…_"

Hobbes came over.

"Huh. I wouldn't think he'd be musical," he commented.

Calvin absentmindedly struck a cord.

_CLICK!_

They both whipped around to the painting.

A noise had come from it.

"Hobbes, I think we've found a secret door," said Calvin. "And it's opened by a musical key!"

Calvin struck the same cord a few more times.

"Hmmm, a combination of notes," he said.

"I'm guessing a certain song must open the door," Hobbes said, sitting in the stool to play the harp.

Hobbes slowly began plucking strings, hoping to find the right one.

* * *

Back in Rassilon's Tomb, the alter egos were still at work. 

Socrates, Andy and Sherman were virtually bored out of their skulls.

"This is just nice," said Andy. "They drag you through rocks and chessboards and caves and phantoms, and then they leave you out when things get interesting!"

Suddenly, they heard the three Calvins gasp.

They were staring at the tablet with wide eyes.

"Whoa…," Stupendous Man said. "This is blowing my mind!"

Spiff simply snorted.

"It doesn't change anything!" he stated firmly.

"But—"

"No buts! We have to lower the force field around the cardboard box, rescue Calvin and Hobbes, and then we all go home! This doesn't concern us! It mustn't!"

Tracer simply remained neutral while Stupendous Man glared at Spiff.

"What's it say?" Sherman demanded.

"Yeah, how about shedding a little light on our dark minds right now?!" Socrates added.

Tracer turned to the tablet and began to read it.

"This is the Tomb of Rassilon, where Rassilon lays in eternal sleep," he read.

"It also says that anyone who's got this far shows great courage and determination," said Stupendous Man proudly, sticking his chest out.

Everyone rolled their eyes at him.

Then, Stupendous Man frowned.

"What's this bit mean?" he asked, pointing at the bottom of the tablet.

Tracer looked at him.

"To lose is to win, and he wins shall lose," he said.

"I know what it _says_, but what does it mean?!" Stupendous Man demanded.

"And it also says," said Spiff, who ignored them, "that whoever takes the ring from Rassilon's hand shall gain the gift he seeks!"

"What gift?" Sherman asked.

"Immortality."

Socrates stared.

"What to live forever? To never die?" he asked.

"That _is_ what the word means," Spiff said casually.

"But that's impossible!" complained Andy.

"Evidently not," said Tracer.

"You see, Rassilon possesses it now, and is willing to share it with whoever takes the ring," said Stupendous Man.

"Thank you, boys! That's exactly what I needed to know!" a voice said.

Everyone whipped around.

It was Retro!

"I came here to help you," he snarled. "A little unwillingly, but I came! My services were scorned by help refused, and now I shall help myself, my _human_self, to immortality!"

Spiff, Tracer and Stupendous Man blocked the way.

"Out of the question, Goal Post Head!" Spiff said.

"You're hardly a suitable candidate," Tracer agreed.

"For anything," Stupendous Man chipped in.

Retro pulled out the Cyberman's laser cannon.

"This is hardly your decision," he said evilly. "Killing Calvin once could never be enough, but to do it three times! Oh, how wonderful!"

Suddenly, Socrates was behind him.

"Ahem!" he said.

Retro whipped around.

"What?!" he demanded.

"Can you render a hardlight hologram unconscious?" Socrates asked.

"Uh…I don't know," said Retro.

"Then let's find out!"

Socrates punched Retro hard in the face, causing him to fall down, unconscious.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were still plucking harp strings in vain, but so far, no luck had come to them. 

Finally, Calvin just ran his fingers down them in frustration.

"Well, if it _is_ a tune, what could it be?!" he demanded. "A tune like… A tune like…"

Then Calvin glanced at the painting of someone playing a harp.

He noticed that there was sheet music in the painting.

Calvin's eyes grew wide.

"A tune like the one that was under our noses all the time!" he said.

Calvin pointed at Hobbes.

Hobbes nodded.

"Okay, let's try it," he said.

Looking at the painting closely, Hobbes began to play the harp according to the musical notes in it.

Soon, this was followed by several clicks from behind the painting.

_CLICK! CLICK-CLICK! CLICK-CLICK-CLICK!_

Suddenly, the wall moved aside.

They were surprised to find a dark laboratory come into view from behind it.

"Whoa…," said Calvin. "For a disembodied voice, he sure has a good income!"

Calvin and Hobbes slowly entered it.

They stared at what they saw in the middle of the room.

"Holy…," said Hobbes.

They had found the table that was all lit up, and they could see the four sections that included all the little figurines of them, their friends, Calvin's alter-egos, and Holographic Retro.

"Hey, cool!" Calvin said. "I'm an action figure!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Now then!" Calvin announced. "We must find out who had done this to us!"

"Look no further!" a familiar voice shouted.

Calvin and Hobbes gasped and whipped around.

There was someone standing above them. He wore sunglasses, had black hair, sharp teeth, dog tags, and a T-shirt with Camp Pine written on it.

"What?!? No! It can't be!" Calvin cried.

"But it is!" Hobbes said nervously.

There, standing above them, was none other than John Howard Chill!

Not_ Rupert_ Chill, but John Howard Chill!

Calvin and Hobbes continued to stare.

"But…but _how?_" Calvin dared to ask.

"I am not John Howard the human," he said dramatically. "I am instead, John Howard, the, as you would put it, extraterrestrial equivalent."

"So…you're not the actual camp counselor?" Hobbes asked.

"No, but I decided to take on his form so you'd be a little more aware of who I am."

John Howard walked around the lab.

"You see, Calvin, the Chill family was very special. Lot's of beings outside of Earth decided to base themselves off of them. The King of Zok, Rupert Chill, was one of those beings."

"Speaking of Rupert, he's not involved in any of this, is he?" Calvin asked.

"Nope. He's unaware of any of this," John Howard replied.

"So, why have you done this?"

John Howard stood at the lit up platform with the little figures on it.

"How much longer do I have, Calvin?" John Howard asked. "How much longer before I must die? My work is only half done in this vast cosmos! I wish to life forever, and one day, rule the entire galaxies!"

"What like immortality?" Hobbes asked.

"But that's impossible!" Calvin objected.

"Rassilon achieved it," John Howard explained. "He lives! He cannot die! He is immortal!"

Calvin and Hobbes backed away as John Howard slowly began to advance.

* * *

Andy and Sherman were just finishing tying up Holographic Retro before he woke up. 

"Good work, boys," said Spiff. "Now then, Sherman, we need you to turn off the force field that is keeping the box from coming here."

Sherman nodded.

Spiff took him over to the control panel, where Sherman immediately set to work.

After a few seconds, Sherman looked up again.

"Okay, I managed to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow so that the box should be free of the force field," he said.

Stupendous Man nodded.

"Okay, we'll have to call Calvin and Hobbes somehow," he said.

"He has the MTM," said Spiff. "We can call him through that."

Stupendous Man, using his stupendous mind, started to type in numbers through a little computer at a video monitor.

* * *

John Howard continued to tower over Calvin and Hobbes. 

"Immortal, Calvin," he whispered. "Rassilon decided to leave clues for his successor. The one that he knew would follow him! I have discovered so much in my time in this lab. I've figured out the Mind Scoop and everything!"

"You still haven't figured out the final secret though, have you?" Calvin asked.

"The secret of immortality, my boy?" John Howard asked. "What lies in the Dark Tower in the Tomb of Rassilon itself? There were many dangers and traps along the way, of course. And that's where you two came into play!"

Calvin nodded, expertly knowing.

"You sent us into the Death Zone so we could clear the way for you, didn't you?" he asked.

"Oh, I gave you companions to help you. An old enemy to fight you. Why, it's a game within a game," John Howard mused. "And now, Calvin, you shall serve me."

Calvin glared.

"You hit your head this morning, buddy?" he demanded. "You think for a second I'll help you do anything?"

"Uh, Calvin?" Hobbes asked. "We sort of already have."

"Well, this is as far as I go!" Calvin said firmly.

"You have no choice," said John Howard. "I wear the Coronet of Rassilon!"

John Howard then placed a tiara on his head.

"Huh, quite fetching," Hobbes commented.

"And guess what?" John Howard continued. "It allows me to control the minds of other people."

He put a hand out to Calvin.

"You bow down before me, Calvin!" he ordered.

Calvin suddenly felt a wave of power surge over him. He found himself growing weak.

Hobbes watched nervously.

Then, Calvin found himself dropping to his knees and bowing his head before John Howard.

"CALVIN!" Hobbes cried, running forward, but John Howard pointed at Hobbes, immediately freezing him.

"Come, Calvin," said John Howard, exiting the lab.

Calvin obeyed and followed.

Hobbes somehow was dragged behind them through telepathy.

"My immortality awaits me," John Howard said, leading them out and back into the room.

Just then, they heard a beeping noise coming from Calvin's pocket.

John Howard motioned to Calvin.

Calvin reached into his pocket and pulled out the MTM, opening the place where the CD would go.

"Hello?" he asked in a monotone voice.

"Ah, Calvin!" said Stupendous Man happily. "There I am! I mean, there you are! We're all here, we're all safe, the barriers are down and the box should be arriving any moment now. Plus, we've made a pretty cool discovery!"

"I know what you have discovered," said Calvin. "Do not transmit further. Stay where you are and touch nothing. Hobbes and I are on our way."

Suddenly, the MTM made a weird noise.

_BZZZZ!! BZZZ!!! BZZZZ!! BZZZ!!_

John Howard looked down at it.

Sparks of electricity shot flew from the CD player, as it continued buzzing, erratically.

Suddenly, it overloaded and snapped shut.

A little recorded message came out.

"We're sorry, but the range of your call has overloaded the MTM. Please take to your local Calvin so he can fix it. Thank you, and have a nice day."

John Howard stared at the sizzling CD player, shrugged, then went back to work.

* * *

Everyone stared at the transmitter Stupendous Man had just come off of. 

"Touch nothing?!" Stupendous Man demanded. "Who does he think he is?"

"Something's wrong," said Tracer. "I just know it."

"I'm sure it's just your paranoia."

"I feel it, too," said Spiff.

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see."

Just then, there was a strange noise from nearby.

They stared and watched as the cardboard box suddenly flew into the room and landed in the corner.

"Ah, our transport home," said Socrates happily.

And then, a light flashed from nearby.

Calvin and Hobbes were there.

But everyone was surprised to see someone else there as well.

"John Howard Chill?!" Spiff cried.


	16. The Five Calvins P6

_Part six written by Swing123_

John Howard walked off the platform.

Calvin followed him, staring straight ahead.

Hobbes then tumbling back into the zone, still frozen into position, and being dragged along.

"Calvin, what's wrong?" Andy asked, stepping forward to Calvin.

"YOU!" John Howard yelled jabbing a finger at Socrates, Andy and Sherman. "All of you! Be still and shut up!"

Socrates, Andy and Sherman all froze.

Hobbes was thrown over to them as well.

John Howard and Calvin then walked up to Tracer Bullet, Stupendous Man and Spaceman Spiff, who were all staring at him with wide eyes.

John Howard strolled up to the three Calvins and grinned at them.

"Gentleman, I owe you my thanks." He chuckled, crossing his arms. "You have served the purpose for which I brought us here."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Spiff demanded. "You're the one who brought us here?"

"Indeed I am." John Howard said.

"He's after The Ring of Rassilon!" Stupendous Man whispered. "He wants immortality!"

Tracer turned to Stupendous Man.

"You're the one who didn't think anything was wrong." He said.

Stupendous Man glared at him.

"He's a renegade!" Spiff hissed. "No better than that villain down there," Spiff motioned towards Retro, who glared at them, still tied up on the floor.

"Well, you are aware we can't let it happen, correct?" Tracer said, crossing his arms.

"Right this place was sealed up for the best of reasons!" Stupendous Man added.

"And when we're out of this dump it needs to be sealed back up!" Spiff growled. "_permanently_."

Just then, John Howard held his hand up, and pointed at the ground.

"Bow down before me!" he growled.

Spiff, Tracer and Stupendous Man stared at him.

"What?" Stupendous Man asked.

"I said," John Howard advanced over the three alter egos. "_bow down before me!_"

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh, it's the control the will game, again." Tracer nodded.

"Ah yes." Spiff said, thoughtfully. "Ya know there's a simple solution to that."

And with that, Spiff, Tracer, and Stupendous Man all faced John Howard with intense expressions.

Stupendous Man turned to Calvin.

"Calvin! Join us!" He yelled.

Calvin didn't move.

Spiff looked over at him.

"He can't!" He yelled. "He's under some kind of mind lock! Fight it, my boy! Fight it!"

Calvin squinted his eyes.

Spiff turned to the other two alter egos.

"Concentrate!" he hissed. "We must be one!"

John Howard cut his eyes from side to side.

Spiff, Tracer, and Stupendous Man all had their eyes closed, and facing him.

Suddenly, Calvin began walking forward.

He walked up to Tracer, Spiff, and Stupendous Man, stared at them for a second, blinked, and then turned to face John Howard.

"Take that!" He grinned, crossing his arms.

John Howard lowered his hand.

"This is just a minor set back." He said, taking a step back. "I am still much more powerful than you!"

Calvin, Spiff, Stupendous Man and Tracer all exchanged glances.

"Uh, John?" Calvin asked. "We just beat you."

"No, you didn't." John Howard grinned. "I am still to obtain immortality! You can not stop me! You're just another child!"

"Hey!" Calvin shouted. "I am _not_ just another child!"

"Really?" John Howard demanded. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, how many six year old children have an entire alien nation, a mad scientist, and a hardlight hologram after him?" Tracer asked.

"And how many six year old children have invented machines that other people only dream about?" Stupendous Man asked.

"And how many six year old..."

"OK, OK, I get it." John Howard said, holding a hand up to stop them. "The point here is..."

Just then, a large booming voice echoed out throughout the chamber.

"WHO DARES DISTURB THE TOMB OF RASSILON?!?!"

John Howard and the four Calvins jumped.

John Howard spun around, and faced Rassilon's coffin.

There was a large screen above it, and the fading image of a man's face appeared on it.

He had a handlebar moustache, and roundish features.

He glared out at the Calvins and John Howard.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" He demanded. "WHY HAVE YOU COME?"

John Howard stared at Rassilon for a second, grinned, evilly, then moved forward.

Calvin grabbed his Scream Horn from his Hypercube, and aimed it at John Howard.

"Wait!" Spiff yelled, grabbing Calvin's arm. "That's Rassilon! That's his voice. It's out of our hands, now!"

Calvin glared at him.

"We have to do something!" He yelled.

"No, we don't." Spiff said.

John Howard approached the projection of Rassilon.

"I am John Howard Chill!" He announced, holding his arm to the sky. "And I have come to claim what is promised."

Rassilon smirked.

"You seek immortality?" He chuckled, continuing to glare at him.

"I do." John Howard replied.

"Be sure." Rassilon said, narrowing his eyes. "Be very sure. Even now it is not too late to turn back."

"I am sure." John Howard declared.

Rassilon turned to the Calvins.

"And who are these others?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

John Howard turned and stared at the wide eyed Calvins.

"They are my servants." He said.

Rassilon cut his eyes back and forth from John Howard to the Calvins.

"Is this so?" He questioned staring at the Calvins.

"Of_ course_ it's not!" Calvin screamed, angrily.

"Don't believe him!!!" Tracer shouted, jabbing a finger at John Howard.

"Pure nonsense!!!" Stupendous Man shrieked.

"Don't listen to them, Rassilon!" Spiff declared. "John Howard speaks the _truth!_"

Calvin, Tracer and Stupendous Man turned and stared at Spiff in pure shock.

"Do you believe that John Howard deserves immortality?" Rassilon asked.

"Indeed I do!" Spiff shouted.

"Perhaps." Rassilon said.

He turned back to John Howard.

"Take the ring." He ordered.

John Howard paused, then reached over and took the ring off of Rassilon's body, which lay in an open coffin before him.

"You claim immortality. You will not turn back?"

"Never." John Howard said, without hesitation.

"Then put on the ring." Rassilon said, his eyebrows jumping.

John Howard held his other hand out, and slipped the ring onto his finger.

"Others have come to claim immortality through the ages." Rassilon said, as John Howard put the ring on. "It came to them, as it will come to_ you._"

Just then, the stone faces, carved into Rassilon's coffin began giving off a white glow.

Their eyes became blood red, and began cutting from side to side, exploring the room, frantically.

"Your spot is prepared John Howard." Rassilon said.

John Howard blinked.

He suddenly realized that he couldn't move.

Suddenly, the ring disappeared from John Howard's finger, and reappeared on Rassilon's body.

It was then that John Howard noticed a blank part of the wall, that did not have a face carved into it.

Oops.

Suddenly, John Howard faded, and vanished from sight.

And another stone face appeared on the coffin.

John Howard's face.

Suddenly, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all blinked, and looked around.

"Wow, what just happened?" Socrates asked.

"Well, last thing I remember is that someone told me to shut up, and then everything's a blur from there." Hobbes said, rubbing his head.

Rassilon chuckled.

He turned to the Calvins.

"And what of you, Calvins? Do you seek immortality?"

"NO!!!" Calvin, Spiff, Tracer, and Stupendous Man all shouted in unison, backing up in terror.

"We just want to get back to our rightful places in time and space." Calvin said, holding his hands up.

"And it shall be done." Rassilon said. "The one who is bound will be returned too. His sins will be find their proper punishment in due time."

Suddenly, Holographic Retro vanished from the floor.

"Really, what will happen?" Calvin asked, looking up.

"You can worry about it, later." Rassilon said. "As for the rest of you, you will be returned to your proper place once you enter the cardboard box."

The image of Rassilon's face suddenly began fading.

"You have chosen very wisely, Calvins." He said, grinning at them. "Farewell."

And with that, Rassilon's face vanished from the screen.

There was a moment of silence.

Then, Spiff began chuckling.

He turned around, and started walking towards the box, laughing silently.

Calvin turned a thoughtful glare onto him.

"Spiff, did you _know_ what was going to happen?" He asked, walking over to him.

"Hmm?" Spiff grinned, looking up at Calvin. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just realized what the proverb meant. "To lose is to win, and he who wins shall lose." It was all part of Rassilon's plot to find people who wanted immortality, and get them out of the way!"

Spiff walked back over to the other two Calvins.

"He knew very well that immortality was a curse. Not a blessing." He chuckled, looking back towards Calvin.

"Oh..." Calvin said.

There was a moment of silence.

"Well... I guess we'd better be getting back, then," Calvin said.

"Right." Spiff nodded. "Well, then, Calvin, until we meet again."

He held his hand out to shake Calvin's hand.

Calvin took it.

"Same here." He said.

"Goodbye, Tracer. Stupendous Man." Spiff said.

"Farwell." Tracer said.

"See ya." Stupendous Man nodded.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Tracer, and Stupendous Man then watched as Spiff tilted the box onto its side, and walked into it.

_BRAZAP!!_

Suddenly, Spiff vanished.

Stupendous Man whirled back around.

"Well, I guess I better be getting along too. I need to finish my patrol. So see ya!"

He turned to Tracer.

"Fancy pants." He said.

"Red boy." Tracer shot back.

Stupendous Man shot him a look, then walked into the box.

_BRAZAP!!_

Tracer turned to Calvin.

"Well, then, Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Hobbes, Calvin. I bid you farewell."

"Goodbye!" Calvin said, doing a salute.

Tracer did salute back at Calvin, bowed at Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman, and then walked back into the box.

_BRAZAP!!_

Calvin sighed.

"Ahhh, that's better." He sighed. "Everything is back to normal, now."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Ahem." Socrates said, coughing into his hand.

Calvin looked up.

"Oh, yes! Well, let's get ready to go!" he yelled.

"Thank you." Andy nodded.

"Uh, what are we going to do about the MTM?" Hobbes asked.

"What?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes walked over to Calvin.

"The MTM. It overloaded." He said, handing the CD player to Calvin.

He took it.

"Oh, it can't possibly be that..."

Calvin pushed the PLAY button.

_BAAA-BOOOOM!!!_

"AAAUGH!"

Suddenly, a blast of electricity was flung from the MTM, throwing Calvin to the ground.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Calvin glared at the MTM.

"Okay, I know what I did wrong, let me just..."

Calvin pushed the SKIP button.

_KAA-BWISSSH!!_

"AAAAAAAUGH!!!!"

Another electric shock struck Calvin, sending him three feet into the air.

Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.

Calvin lay in a heap on the ground, grumbling to himself.

"Uhh... Calvin?" Hobbes asked, stepping over to Calvin.

Calvin stood up, straightened himself up, and picked the MTM up, again.

He examined it for a minute.

"Hmmm," He considered, acting like nothing had happened. "Well, perhaps it is a bit beat up."

He paused.

"We'll worry about it in the next episode." He finally decided. "Now, come on!"

And with that, he slipped the broken MTM into his Hypercube, walked over to the box, and flipped it over, so the opening was pointing up.

"OK, everyone! Hop in!" He called.

_ZOOM!! ZOOM!! ZOOM!!_

Calvin looked around.

Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates were already in the box, staring at him.

He glared at them.

"Whatever." He said.

Calvin turned back, and began flipping switches on the machine.

"OK, the coordinates are all set. We'll be there in..."

Calvin paused.

"Hey wait a minute," He said, turning to Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman. "I just realized something."

"What?" Socrates asked.

"Since Rassilon set everything back to normal, nobody who witnessed my disappearance will remember it!"

"Huh, you don't say?" Andy said.

"Makes sense." Socrates said.

There was a moment of silence.

"So, Calvin, do you intend on going to go home, and trying in total pathetic vain to convince everyone that it actually _did_ happen?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin turned a big grin onto Hobbes.

"Why not? After all, that's how it all started!"

_**THE END**_

**Voice Actors:**

**Calvin / Spaceman Spiff: **Pamela Segall Adlon  
**Hobbes / Cybermen Leader: **Tom Hanks  
**Dad / Stupendous Man / Tracer Bullet: **Bill Murray  
**Mom: **Jennifer Love Hewitt  
**Socrates: **Ryan Stiles  
**Andy: **Andrew Lawrence  
**Sherman / Strange Robot Voice:** Colin Mochrie  
**Holographic Retro: **Kurtwood Smith  
**John Howard Chill / Disembodied Voice: **Eric Roberts  
**Susie Derkins: **Dakota Fanning  
**Moe: **EG Daily  
**Miss Wormwood: **Mary Jo Catlett  
**Rosalyn: **Daveigh Chase  
**Rassilon: **Tom Baker

* * *

Coming up next: An MTM Episode 


	17. An MTM Episode

**Summary: **After the hologram feature on the MTM breaks, Calvin installs a voice chip into it.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie_

**An MTM Episode**

_KABOOM!!!_

"AAAUUGH!!!" Calvin screamed for the fiftieth time that day. "Stupid Time Traveling Software!!"

Hobbes, who was sitting on Calvin's bed reading a comic book, rolled his eyes as Calvin stood up, grabbed a handkerchief off his desk, and wiped all the black ash off his face.

"So, Calvin, tell me," Hobbes asked, putting the comic book down. "Are you any closer to fixing the MTM than you were when you first started?"

"NO, I'M NOT!!!" Calvin shouted, angrily. "This hologram software is a hard to repair! Everything keeps blowing up in my face!!"

Hobbes looked down at the MTM.

Calvin had taken off the top part, and was currently fiddling with the main components. Smoke was rising from it, and little sparks of electricity were flying from it.

"So, the hologram feature is broken?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes, everything." Calvin said. "The Main Menu, The Keyboard, the messaging feature. The MTM is totally useless without this stuff!"

"Well, if I may make a suggestion..."

"I AM NOT GIVING IT TO SHERMAN!!!" Calvin screamed. "That stupid rodent would probably mess everything up!"

"Uh, I wasn't going to suggest Sherman." Hobbes said. "I was suggesting maybe your Dad could have a look at it."

Calvin stared at Hobbes for a long throbbing moment.

"Hobbes, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life." He said, finally. "Dad knows nothing about computers or how they work. It's a wonder he's even able to turn _ours _on!"

"Well, he fixed that Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs beani hat for you." Hobbes considered, thinking back on the days before Andy, Sherman, Socrates, Rupert and Earl, Dr Brainstorm or any of the inventions.

"Right, and remember what happened in the end?" Calvin demanded.

"Uh, yes, you got angry at it, because it wouldn't fly, and you ended up pitching it in the garbage." Hobbes recalled.

"Correct! Now then, would you please..."

Suddenly the sound of a doorbell rang out through the house.

Hobbes' eyes popped open.

"Oops! Hold that thought! That has to be Socrates!" He yelled.

_ZOOM!!!_

A high burst of wind suddenly flew through Calvin's room, and Hobbes vanished.

Calvin glared after him.

"There you go again!" He shouted after him. "Not only did you just pull that stupid vanishing act of yours, again, but you're going to go interact with _that_ thing, again!"

Hobbes raced downstairs, and ripped the door open.

"Greetings, Hobbo!" Socrates grinned, holding up a handful of blue prints, pencils, and compasses. "Ready to prepare our latest Team Prank?"

"Always ready!" Hobbes grinned. "Come on in!"

Socrates strolled into the house.

"So, where's Target, today, I mean... Calvin?" He asked, grinning, sheepishly, sitting down on the couch.

"Oh, well he's up in his room, trying to fix the MTM." Hobbes said. "Remember, we had a pretty intense TV movie a while ago, and it ended with the MTM's hologram software blowing up."

"Oh, right." Socrates remembered, laying the blueprints out across the coffee table. "That John-Alein-Howard-extraterrestrial-Chill-being guy broke it. How's his progress?"

_KABOOOM!!!_

"AAAAAAUGH!! CURSE YOU, BROKEN TIME MACHINE!!!"

"I see," Socrates nodded. "Well, let's get to work, then."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Many hours went by.

By this time, Socrates and Hobbes had planned out another prank, and Socrates was wrapping it up.

"OK, then, Hobbo," he said, rolling the blueprints up. "The plan is set."

"This will be the prank that will top all others we've ever done!" Hobbes grinned.

"Ditto. I"ll set it in motion tomorrow at five o'clock." Socrates said.

"Location?" Hobbes asked.

"The Calvinball field." Socrates replied.

"Sounds good." Hobbes nodded. "Now get out of here, before Calvin..."

_SLAM!!_

Hobbes and Socrates looked upward.

Calvin was walking down the stairs, holding the MTM with a large grin on his face.

The MTM's top was now fixed and back in place. The top had been polished, and it looked brand new.

"OK, Hobbes, Freak," He said, walking over to the two tigers. "I have fixed the Mini Time Machine."

"Really?" Hobbes asked. "The hologram feature is back?"

"No." Calvin replied. "I've decided to experiment with something else."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Uuhhh... yes?" Socrates asked.

"I have installed a voice chip into the MTM's main hard drive!" Calvin announced, proudly, holding the MTM out for Hobbes and Socrates.

"Wow," Socrates said, his eyes widening. "A talking CD player? What will you think of _next?_"

"Uh huh," Calvin said. "Anyway, I haven't activated it, yet, so I don't know what it's going to sound like, but I'm just about to turn it on, so stick around.

"We won't." Hobbes said.

"Try to run off, and I'll strap you to the couch." Calvin growled. "It's _not_ exploding this time. I've calculated everything through!"

"From the kid that got a D minus on his math." Socrates said.

"Shut up!" Calvin snapped. "And Hobbes, stop telling him what I make in math! Now then, for the moment of the future!"

Calvin placed the MTM onto the coffee table, and reached forward.

He pushed the ON button the front part.

There was a low humming noise emitting from the machine, signaling its activation, then... silence.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates stared at the MTM for a long throbbing moment.

"Uh, MTM?" Calvin asked into it. "It is I, your creator. How are you, uh, doing?"

There was a moment of silence.

Hobbes and Socrates exchanged glances.

Calvin continued to stare at it.

Then, he heaved a sigh.

"OK, maybe I don't have all the bugs worked out, but I..."

"'Right, dudes." MTM suddenly said. "How's it hangin'?"

Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates jumped in surprise.

"MTM!!!" Calvin shouted. "You're talking!!"

"It's alive!" Socrates shouted, in a Transylvanian accent. "_ALIVE!!!!_"

"Of course I'm talking." The MTM replied, ignoring Socrates. "You've installed a voice chip into me. What did you expect? A moo?"

The MTM's voice, however, was not at _all_ the way Calvin, Hobbes, _or_ Socrates had expected it to be like.

The voice was very laid back and bored, the way Jack the robot's voice was. However, unlike Jack, the MTM had a thick British accent.

"So, Calvin, what did you do about the Main Menu, and such?" Hobbes asked. "Even if the MTM is useable, again, we still can't access the menu."

"Oh, can't we?" Calvin asked, raising his eyebrows. "MTM? Main Menu, please."

There was a moment of silence.

"What's in it for me?" the machine asked, finally.

"You not being cut in half with a machete." Calvin growled, his eyes narrowing.

"Hmm, sounds reasonable." MTM replied. "Very well."

There was a moment of silence.

Then, the CD player beeped.

"Welcome to MTM 2.0. To access any feature, simply repeat its name. Time Travel, Defense Feature, Flashlight, Force Field, Telephone, Inventory, Miscellaneous."

"There you have it!" Calvin grinned. "Everything is much more easily accessible, now. Instead of the holographic touch screen technology I used to have, which was very time consuming, everything is voice activated, now. All of the features I use the most are in the Main Menu, and everything else is in Miscellaneous."

"Fascinating." Socrates admired. "So this is a full fledged upgrade?"

"You betchya." Calvin grinned. "Out with the old in the new! Nothing can possibly go wrong with this!"

"Ah, I beg to differ." MTM replied.

"Wow, we have so much in common." Hobbes said.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile, up in Yellowstone National Park, something else of significance was occurring. 

"AH HA!!!" Brainstorm shrieked, throwing his arms into the air. "I'VE DONE IT!!! _**I'M A GENIUS!!!**_"

Jack, Dr Brainstorm's robot assistant, was leaning against the wall, filing his fingernails.

Which is weird, because robots don't have fingernails.

He didn't even look up at Dr Brainstorm's outburst.

"Well," He said, sarcastically. "What does _this_ ingenious invention do?"

"No, no, I haven't invented anything, today!!" Dr Brainstorm yelled. "I've been doing some research on this _Calvin_fellow and his robotic tiger!!"

Jack sighed, heavily.

"And after much research and calculating," Brainstorm whirled back around to the screen. "I have determined that this punk kid's most powerful invention is _THE ELECTRONIC SWISS ARMY KNIFE!!_"

"Fascinating." Jack yawned. "You're talking about the MTM, right?"

"Yeah, whatever." Brainstorm said, typing a few things into his keyboard.

A rotating image of the MTM appeared on screen, and several subwindows opened up showing its interior structure, and labels for all its features.

"This device is perfect for allowing me to take over the world!" The mad scientist screamed. "It travels through time, it shoots lasers, it creates unconquerable force fields... Nothing can defeat it! And if I got a hold of it, I would be _INVINCIBLE!!_"

"Uh huh." Jack yawned. "Although, I thought we already knew all this. The MTM is obviously the strongest of Calvin's inventions."

"How are we supposed to know?" Brainstorm shot back. "For all we know, it could have been the weakest! RESEARCH, JACK!!! IT ALL PAYS OFF IN THE END!!!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Right. So tell me, Frank, what exactly is your bonehead plan for getting it?" He asked.

"_**IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_" Brainstorm screamed, hysterically. "And I'll have you know I have a _brilliant_ plan to achieve my goal!!"

There was a small pause.

"You're going to kidnap Calvin and Hobbes and steal it, right?" Jack questioned.

Brainstorm stared at him.

"How did you know that?" He demanded. "Have you been reading my files! _THOSE WERE TOP SECRET!!!!_"

"It's not that hard to figure out, Frank." Jack replied.

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!!!**_" Brainstorm shot back at him. "And you can just yuk it up _all you want, Jack!!_ I'm going to take over the Earth! Then you'll see!! _THEY'LL ALL SEE!!!!_"

And with that, Brainstorm held his head at a proud angle, and marched out of the room.

Jack didn't move.

Brainstorm came running back in.

"WHERE'S MY SLUSHY?!" He screeched, grabbing a bottle with the SONIC logo off of his desk.

Jack sighed, and rolled his eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile, the MTM had been stationed on the front porch, as Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were all getting ready to play Calvinball. 

"What is it that you are doing?" MTM asked, as Calvin came walking up to it wearing the black Calvinball mask.

"I'm getting ready to play, why?" Calvin asked, his brow furrowing. "We still have to wait for Andy and Sherman to get here, though."

"Play what?" MTM asked.

"Calvinball, what's it to you?" Calvin said, crossing his arms.

There was a moment of silence.

"Calvinball," MTM repeated.

"Right, Calvinball. Do you want to watch?"

"I'm guessing _you _named it?" MTM asked.

"Yeah, whatever. Do you want me to carry you to the Calvinball field?" Calvin demanded. "I don't have all day."

"Oh, I suppose I can humor you." MTM sighed. "Do take me to this Calvinball field."

"OK."

Calvin walked over, grabbed the MTM off the sidewalk, and walked off towards Sneer Hill with him.

Hobbes and Socrates were waiting for him in the big field at the base of Sneer Hill, also wearing black masks.

The field around them was covered in various items, each belonging to some different game.

There were flags, tennis rackets, baseball bats, wickets, frisbees and pool cues all over the place.

"Hmm, charming." MTM observed, scanning the field with his sensors.

"OK, Hobbes." Calvin said, ignoring Socrates. "I've put the MTM in charge of keeping track of our score."

"Nice." Socrates said.

Hobbes nodded.

"OK, Calvin, so, where's Andy and Sherman? We can't start without them."

"I don't know." Calvin said, setting the MTM onto a tree stump. "They said they'd be here. Andy really does like this game."

"We're here." Came a voice from behind them.

Calvin turned around.

Andy was walking towards them, Sherman held in his pocket.

"Hi, Calvin." Andy said. "Hobbes, Socrates."

"Hi, Andy." Calvin nodded.

"Greetings, Ando!" Socrates said, holding his hand upward in a friendly wave.

"Andy. Vermin." Hobbes said, crossing his arms.

Sherman glared at Hobbes as Andy put him down on the tree stump next to the MTM.

"OK." Calvin said. "Andy and I will be one team and Hobbes and that thing that he hangs around with can be the another team."

Socrates raised an eyebrow at Calvin.

"Who's going to be the flag thief, today?" Andy asked.

"Ooo! Oo! I am!" Socrates said, jabbing his hand to sky.

Calvin, Hobbes, and Andy stared at Socrates.

"Weren't your flag thief last time?" Andy asked.

"Yeah, so?" Socrates asked.

"I think I should be the flag thief today." Calvin said, stepping forward.

"What?!" Socrates demanded. "You can't be the flag thief! Every time we tag you, you claim you were in the No Tag Boomerang Place!"

"I was!" Calvin sniffed. "That zone is always moving and popping up in random parts of the field."

"Preposterous!" Socrates said. "You were never meant to be a flag thief! As for me..."

"If I may make a suggestion," MTM suddenly cut in. "How about there being _no_ flag thief? Would that terribly affect the game play?"

Andy and Sherman jumped in surprise.

"AUGH!! What the heck..." Andy began. "Did the MTM just... just..."

"Talk?" MTM asked. "Yes, I did. I do believe Calvin will be able to explain the situation."

Andy and Sherman turned and stared at Calvin with wide eyes.

Calvin chuckled.

"Yes, Andy, I just upgraded the MTM." He said, crossing his arms. "The hologram feature was broken in that big Death Zone adventure, so instead of trying to fix it, which proved to be very time consuming and painful, I just installed a voice chip into him! Neat, huh?"

"Uh, sure..." Andy began. "But, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, mostly because the MTM won't be able to do anything holographically anymore." Andy replied.

"Calvin, this is the dumbest thing you've ever done in your life!" Sherman yelled.

Calvin blinked.

"MTM, do you have any idea what their talking about?" He asked, turning to the CD player.

There was a pause.

"MTM?" Calvin repeated.

"Hmm?" The machine asked.

"Do you know what their talking about?!" Calvin shouted, getting impatient.

"No, I wasn't listening. Did I miss out on something?" MTM replied.

Calvin sighed.

"Forget it. OK, now the teams are set up, the MTM will be keeping score, let's begin!"

MTM sighed.

And so, the game began.

Socrates grabbed the Calvinball off the ground, and stared running towards the other end of the field with it.

"Alright!" Socrates yelled, leaning forward on one foot onto the grass. "I have entered the Invisibility Zone! Now, none of you can tackle me for the next five minutes!"

"I thought the Invisibility Zone was on the other end of the field." Hobbes said, his brow furrowing.

"Well, it moved." Socrates grinned. "Now then,"

Socrates then began running along the field, grabbing flags out of the ground as he went.

Several minutes went by.

Calvin came hopping over to the MTM, which still sat on the tree stump.

Socrates was still running around the field, and his most recent decree when he entered the Wisdom Area was to make everyone hop on one leg, hold one hand behind their back, close one eye, and hold their head to their shoulder as to cover up one ear.

Right.

"What's the score, now?" He asked.

"7 to 1." MTM yawned.

"7 to 1?! Are you crazy?!" Calvin yelled, his head coming up, and his eye popping open. "Andy and I have been getting _lots_ of scores!"

"Right. But the red tailed tiger leaped into the Diminishing place a few minutes ago and brought your score back down to one." MTM replied. "Remember?"

"Well, who asked you!" Calvin spat, whirling back around, and hopping back into the game.

MTM sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dr Brainstorm and Jack were flying around in circles along Calvin's neighborhood. 

Brainstorm was typing some things into his computer while Jack read his latest issue of _Robots Weekly _with his legs crossed in the passenger's seat.

"OK, Jack!" Brainstorm yelled. "All five of those punks are gathered together, performing some strange ritual known to us only as _Cal-veen Ball_."

"Uh huh." Jack replied, rolling his eyes.

"The Electronic Swiss Army Knife is also present with them! Which conveniently just makes everything easier!! Now, ready to hear the plan?"

"No."

"_**WHAT?!?!**_"

"I said, sure... whatever."

"Good."

Brainstorm plunged his hand into the glove compartment in front of Jack, and ripped out a rolled up blueprint.

He unspread it across the panel in front of him.

"Here's the plan, there are too many witnesses right now, so we have to wait punk and punker to go back into their house, alone! Then we'll..."

"You're referring to Socrates, Andy and Sherman as witnesses? " Jack interrupted.

"Shut up." Brainstorm spat. "Now then, after they're in the house, we'll move in, and land the Brainstorm rocket in the base of that grinning mountain over there."

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Then, of course, we'll have to wait for night to fall just to keep up with the drama, then we'll secure the area, kidnap Calvin and Hobbes, throw them in the dungeon, and use that Electric So Forth to _TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!_"

Brainstorm then threw his head back, held his hands up, and laughed, diabolically.

"Whatever." Jack said, leaning back in his seat.

* * *

Later on, as Calvin, Hobbes, and the gang finished up their game of Calvinball, they began moving on to other things. 

Andy and Sherman had gone back home, Hobbes and Socrates were downstairs watching a National Geographic Special on big cats, and Calvin was in his room at his desk, the MTM placed near him.

Calvin was currently fiddling the Mega-Shrinker 5000, trying to remove the wire from it, while the MTM observed, quietly.

For the first few seconds.

"What are you doing?" He demanded, looking down at the microphone in Calvin's hand.

"Well, I've just upgraded _you_ haven't I?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why not get to work on _all_ my inventions? I'm trying to update the Mega-Shrinker 5000 here, so that I don't have to plug it in to a headphone jack just to get it to work."

"Wireless in other words." MTM said.

"Right." Calvin said. "And it would be going quite smoothly if you would just shut up."

MTM sighed, and continued watching Calvin.

Calvin took a small pair of scissors, and slowly began cutting the wire off at the very top of the microphone.

MTM watched.

"Shouldn't you unplug the shrinker before you start that?" He asked, suddenly.

Calvin looked up.

"What are you talking about? It _is_ unplugged."

"No it's not. It's plugged into the radio behind you." MTM replied.

"You know nothing about this machine, MTM. It's very byzantine and complicated. So just shut up, for a moment so I can..."

_**ZZZZZZZZEEAAAAAAAAAP!!!**_

"AAAAAUGGH!!"

Just as Calvin cut the wire, a large blast of electricity shot out, and struck Calvin.

Then...

_**ZEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee**__eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep_

There was a moment of silence.

A three inch Calvin stood on top of his desk, trying to figure out what just happened.

Then, he turned a glare onto the giant MTM before him.

"MTM, why didn't you tell me I hadn't unplugged it, yet?"

MTM stared at him.

"Well, it doesn't matter, now." Calvin muttered. "Use the Manipulator Arms to get back up to size, again."

"I told you shouldn't have done that." The machine said, smugly.

"UNSHRINK ME!!!" Calvin screamed.

"Oh, very well."

There was blast of light, that almost blinded Calvin, and suddenly, electronic arms popped out of the tip of the MTM, making those classic robot noises as they moved, reached forward, and picked the Mega-Shrinker 5000 off the ground.

"And, uh, how exactly do you work this item?" MTM asked, pointing the end of the microphone at Calvin.

"Flip it to unshrink and push the button!" Calvin spat.

The MTM reached forward, flipped a switch on the microphone's neck, then pushed a small button at the bottom of the neck.

_zeeee__**eeeeeEEEEEEEEEEP!!!**_

Immediately, Calvin shot back to his original size.

"Why don't you go watch TV with Hobbes and Socrates for a while, huh?" Calvin demanded, grabbing the microphone from the MTM.

"You're welcome." MTM yawned.

* * *

"So, Mini whatever!" Socrates said, cheerfully, the MTM now sitting on the couch with the two tigers. "What would you like to watch?" 

"What's on?" MTM asked.

"Well, we've just finished our big cats documentary, so we're pretty much open for any opinion." Hobbes said. "What is on, Socrates?"

Socrates began flipping through the guide.

"Well," He said. "We have a few anime cartoons on Cartoon Network, Boomerang, and that other kids channel. Those are usually what we watch when we want to riff something. Anime is really easy to make fun of!"

"Yeah, especially American anime." Hobbes nodded.

"America's pathetic attempt to be worse than Japan." Socrates grinned. "We also have Spongebob, Danny Phantom and Jimmy Neutron, and it looks like the All Pranking Channel is having a special on the history of that fake dollar bill and the string joke!"

"Uh huh." MTM replied. "Isn't anything good on?"

There was a pause.

"Well, I kind of assumed that Pranking Channels were good." Socrates replied.

"What's on BBC America?"

"BBC America?" Hobbes questioned. "Why there?"

There was a pause.

Socrates coughed into his hand.

"Oh," Hobbes said. "I see. Well, go see what's on BBC, Socrates."

"Very well," Socrates began flipping through some channels. "Looks like some special on British Comedians or something like that."

"Very nice." MTM said. "Shall we watch it?"

Hobbes and Socrates exchanged glances..

* * *

"_Me?_" Andy demanded, holding his hand to his chest in his open door. "Why do _I_ have to babysit the MTM?" 

"Because Calvin won't take him." Hobbes said. "Here ya go,"

Hobbes handed Andy the CD player.

Andy stared at it, as Hobbes ran off back to the house.

"Uh, hello?" He asked.

"Hello, yourself." MTM replied. "What are we doing?"

"Uh, I was about to begin my video game up." Andy said, looking around to make sure nobody caught him talking to a CD player.

"Very well." MTM said. "What are we playing?"

Andy set the MTM onto his coffee table, and sat down on his couch, turning his TV on.

"Well, I haven't really picked anything out, yet..." He began.

"Hmm, never played video games, myself. Personally, I think it's a big fat waste of time." MTM said.

Andy sighed.

* * *

"No, I will not watch Calvin's CD player." Sherman growled, using a tiny screwdriver to screw some screws into one of his inventions. 

"Oh, come on, Shermie!" Andy said, placing the MTM onto Sherman's desk. "Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates don't want to deal with him, and he's just criticizing how I'm playing my game."

"No." Sherman said.

"Well, I'm not taking him back, so he's being left in the lab, whether you like it or not." Andy said crossing his arms.

Sherman dropped his screwdriver, and he gritted his teeth.

"See ya, Shermie." Andy said, walking back up the stairs towards the livingroom.

MTM stared silently at Sherman for a moment, as the hamster ignored him, and continued with his work.

He took a small tube, and attached it to the metal cube in front of him.

He flipped a switch on his control panel, the machine started humming, and electricity began flowing into the box.

"Oh, don't do that." The machine said, suddenly, breaking Sherman's concentration. "The box is too compacted. With the amount of energy you're pumping into it, it's going to burst at any second."

Sherman glared at the MTM.

"I think I know what I'm doing. And besides, I don't take advice from media players!" He snapped, turning back to his work.

"It's going to explode on you." MTM said, blandly.

"Shut up!"

"Very well."

There was a moment of silence.

_BLAM!!_

"ACK!!"

Suddenly, metal went in all directions and yellow electricity flowed out through the room.

Sherman fell over onto the floor.

There was a moment of silence.

"I suppose this would be a bad 'I told you so' moment." MTM said in his usual bored voice.

Sherman's eyes narrowed, and his teeth gritted.

* * *

"I'm not taking him back!" Calvin yelled, as Sherman slid the CD player to his feet. "The guy's driving me nuts! How am I suppose to concentrate on my inventions with him trying to correct everything I do?!" 

"You're problem. Deal with it." Sherman said, turning around, and walking back towards his house.

Calvin growled, and snatched the MTM off the ground.

* * *

Soon afterward, Socrates left and went back to his mansion for the night, chuckling to Hobbes about the big prank they had planned for tomorrow. 

The night followed soon afterward.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack were still flying around Calvin's city, waiting for the right moment.

Or at least, Brainstorm was.

"OK, Jack, here it is!" The scientist yelled, rubbing his hands together. "The golden opportunity! After we get that Mini Time Electronic Swiss Army Machine, _NOTHING_ can possibly stop us!!"

"Uh huh." Jack yawned. "Just as long as I don't have to do anything."

"Whatever." Brainstorm said, turning back to his computer. "We're beginning to descend, now, Jack! PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE!!!!"

"Right." Jack said, rolling his eyes.

Slowly, the rocket began lowering over Calvin's neighborhood. The coordinates were fixed on Calvin's house.

Ho boy...

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were getting ready for bed at this moment. 

Just as they were getting into bed, MTM spoke up.

"Don't suppose either of you need anything, do you?" he asked.

"No," said Calvin.

"Nothing? You sure?"

"Positive."

"You don't need a drink? Perhaps a reading lamp? How about a nice bowl of Life cereal?"

"MTM, do _you_ want something?" Hobbes demanded.

"Not particularly. I'm just getting used to my voice. I think it's quite fetching, don't you think?"

"Yes, you're a regular BBC Rodeo Announcer," Calvin sighed. "Please, just be quiet for a while! I plan on waking up tomorrow during the AM!"

"I'll have you know that I chose this voice out of the millions that the voice chip had available because it was the voice of the greatest lover who ever lived!" MTM protested.

Calvin got up and walked over to him.

"If that what this guy _sounds_ like, I'd hate to see what he _looks_ like," he said angrily.

"You wha…?!" MTM started.

With that, Calvin pressed the OFF button on the MTM, finally turning it off.

"And you didn't do that earlier why…?" Hobbes demanded.

"It seemed cruel up until an hour ago," Calvin replied.

Hobbes nodded.

Just as they were getting ready to turn off the light, they heard a noise.

_CLINK!_

"What was that?" Calvin asked.

"I think something hit the window," said Hobbes, looking at the window that was right next to him.

_CLINK!_

Hobbes jumped as a small rock came up and hit the window.

"Hmmmm… My suspicions have been confirmed," he said.

He leaned over and opened the window.

_DONK!_

"OW!" he cried, rubbing his head.

Then, angrily, he picked up the alarm clock and hurled it back out the window.

Calvin watched him.

"Uh…I was gonna use that tomorrow," he said.

_DING!_

"OUCH!" a voice shouted. "It's raining alarm clocks, Jack! Mother Nature and Father Time are in cahoots!"

"I'll send them a message, Frank. Don't worry," said another voice.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!**_" Dr Brainstorm shouted, along with Calvin and Hobbes who were looking out the window with stunned expressions.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack looked up.

"Aha!" Brainstorm shouted. "I see you've decided to cooperate!"

"Did you throw rocks at our window?" Calvin demanded.

"And at me?" Hobbes added, pointing at his forehead.

"For this!"

Brainstorm pulled out his Servant Ray.

"Servant Ray! Capture them!" he ordered.

There was a pause.

Brainstorm looked confused for a moment.

"Oh, right," he said, remembering. "Servant Ray! DO NOT capture them!"

_FWOOM!_

A giant bag flew out and enveloped Calvin and Hobbes in one swoop.

"YES!" Brainstorm cheered.

As the bag had a cable on the end, Brainstorm started to tow them out of the room.

When they came to the window, Jack casually reached up and managed to catch them.

Brainstorm stared at him.

"Now why didn't you do that for me when I got trapped in that thing?" he demanded.

Jack merely shrugged.

"Whatever. Go get the Mini Time Whatchyamacallit!"

Jack, without a trace of emotion, extended his legs until he reached the window, and then he extended his arms to reach the MTM.

As he lowered himself down with it, Dr Brainstorm glared.

"THERE! _SEE?!_ I _TOLD_ YOU THAT WAS A GOOD FEATURE!" he shouted.

Jack rolled his eyes and handed him the MTM.

The bag was squirming.

"You couldn't have given us separate bags?!" Hobbes shouted.

* * *

Upon the arrival back at the lab at Yellowstone, Dr Brainstorm lugged Calvin and Hobbes over to the cell. 

Jack was watching.

"By the way, Jack thanks for the help!" Dr Brainstorm said sarcastically.

"Don't think twice," Jack replied, holding a hand up. "Not that you ever think once, anyway."

"Shut it."

Dr Brainstorm opened the bag and let Calvin and Hobbes tumble out and into the cell.

"Hey, be gentle!" Hobbes complained. "I've got battle wounds!"

"Yeah," said Calvin sarcastically. "We don't want that can-opener cut to open up again."

Brainstorm slammed the cell door shut.

"Now then!" he said triumphantly. "I have you in my clutches! Now you're out of the way!"

"What do you plan to do?" Calvin asked, who was quite bored at this point.

"Jack? Give me the CD player," he ordered.

Jack handed the MTM to Dr Brainstorm.

Calvin stared.

"What are you doing with him?" he demanded.

"I'm going to… Wait; did you call this thing 'him'?"

"You call Jack 'him', don't you?" Calvin reasoned.

Brainstorm stared at Jack.

"Actually, he refers to me by two things," Jack said. "There's 'Jack' and 'you festering lump of scrap metal from Lazy Town'."

There was a pause.

"Anyway, I plan to use this electronic pancake to help me take over the world! It's the most perfect of all your inventions!"

"Mmm-hmmmm…," said Hobbes, rolling his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brainstorm demanded.

"Nothing, I just happen to find all his inventions pointless and useless."

Calvin glared at him.

"Well,_ this_ one has the proper equipment for world domination!" Dr Brainstorm proclaimed, holding it high over his head. "I'm surprised you've managed to hold back the urge to rule the world yourself!"

Calvin shrugged.

"World domination isn't really my bag," he said simply.

"Really? You should try it sometime!"

"Yeah, look where it got him," said Jack.

"Yes, _thank you_."

"It got him the reputation as the weakest villain since Silly Rabbit of Trix cereal," Jack continued.

Calvin and Hobbes couldn't resist laughing at Brainstorm.

Brainstorm growled angrily and left the room, dragging Jack behind him.

Calvin sat down on the cell floor.

"What do we do now?" asked Hobbes.

"Well, with Brainstorm, it shouldn't take long for something or someone to help us. I just hope he doesn't hurt the MTM."

"Why not? It's just a machine."

"Yeah, but I feel really bad now. I gave it a personality! That makes him an individual now! Sometimes I think it's a cruel thing to do when you give a machine a personality. You become attached to it after a while."

"I personally don't care what he does it," Hobbes said, folding his arms.

Calvin stared at him.

"I wasn't being cute. I really hope he destroys it," Hobbes said, not looking at him.

"Oh come on! You can't possibly tell me you weren't just a little attached to him?"

"Not in the slightest. As far as I'm concerned, it's just CD player, and it should've stayed a CD player. Honestly, the Britts have the strangest vocabulary. What does 'git' even _mean?!_"

"Come on, Hobbes! What about Jack? He's a machine, and we've been considering him a friend, and he's about as useful as a banana peel!"

"That's different! He's endearing!"

Calvin rolled his eyes and lied down on the floor.

* * *

Dr Brainstorm was in his experimenting room. It was thanks to the thickness of the walls that what went on in this room hadn't blown up the entire lab. 

Jack was in the corner, sipping a soda and leaning against the wall.

Brainstorm pulled the MTM out of his lab coat pocket.

"Alright!" he said. "I just have to figure out what's what, and then I can use it for my plans!"

Jack simply nodded.

"You just get to it there, Frank," he said, leaving the room.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_"

Jack left the room and shut the door.

Dr Brainstorm focused his attention on the MTM.

"Okay," he said. "Let's see what we have here…"

He pondered to himself.

Then he noticed something on the front.

It was the ON button.

"Excellent! World Domination, here I come!" he cheered.

He pressed the button.

The MTM whirled back into life.

"Testing…testing…one, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock?" MTM said, clearing his voice.

Brainstorm was stunned.

"ACK! IT SPEAKS!!"

There was a pause.

Finally, MTM spoke again.

"You're not Calvin," he commented.

"Um…no, I am not," said Brainstorm, approaching the MTM cautiously.

There was a pause.

"Oh yes, I remember now. You're that Brainstorm bloke, aren't you?"

"Er…yeah."

"Right, sorry, mate. Didn't recognize you for a bit there. You weren't screaming at the nice robot when I came in."

Brainstorm soon regained his confidence and spoke to him.

"Yes, yes. Very good. Now then, I plan to use you to rule the world!"

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"All right."

"Ah, cooperation! EXCELLENT! Now then, how do I operate you?"

MTM didn't say anything.

"I asked you a question! ANSWER!"

"I'm sorry, but access has been denied," MTM replied.

"What?! Don't give me that! I DEMAND ACCESS!" Brainstorm shouted.

"I'm afraid I'm not in the mood," MTM replied. "You'll have to access it yourself."

Brainstorm pouted.

"Fine! How do I do that?"

"Well, you'd have to access the holographic main menu options."

"Right!"

Brainstorm looked desperately at the small buttons on the rim around the MTM.

He stared at them for a long time.

Then he finally pressed the Volume Increase button.

_**BRZAP!!**_

Dr Brainstorm was hit by a laser, and he was sent hurtling into the wall.

"OUCH!" he shouted.

"That was the laser button," MTM said casually.

"Yes, I gathered that," Brainstorm grunted, getting to his feet.

He marched back over to the MTM.

"Okay, which button is it?!" he demanded, not wanting to get hurt again.

"For the holographic menu?"

"YES!!"

"There isn't one."

"WHAT?!?"

"Well, there was one, but it was damaged, and it was replaced with voice command," said MTM.

"Oh."

There was a pause.

Then he went berserk.

"_**WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?**_" Brainstorm screamed, pulling at his hair.

"What, and spoil your tea?"

"ERGH! Main Menu!" Dr Brainstorm screeched.

"Access denied," MTM said.

"BUT I SAID _MAIN MENU!!!_"

"You don't have access. Only Calvin has access to it."

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!**_"

Brainstorm slammed a fist down on the MTM.

It struck several buttons.

"Oop! Smooth one, Doctor Dippy," said MTM.

"_**WHAT NOW?!?**_"

"You've activated the Attack Option."

There was a pause.

"Uh…what's the Attack Option?" Brainstorm asked nervously.

Then there was a whirring noise.

Dr Brainstorm slowly backed away.

"Uh-oh."

* * *

Outside, Jack was reading a book on the couch. 

_**BRAZAM! BAM! ZAP! CRASH! BAP! POW! PEW! KRACK! KAZAM! KABOOM! BASH! KABLOOIE! BRAK! KABAM! ZOOSH! FWOOM! KAKRACK! BAMMY! ZAM! KABAP! KARASH! SWEESH! DOO-DOO-DOO-DOOOOO! KASMASH! BOOOM!**_

Jack scratched his head and continued reading.

* * *

Dr Brainstorm, now a black charred mess with his lab clothes burnt off, stood stiff as a board for a minute, and then collapsed on the floor. 

MTM simply sat there.

"I'll have to have that looked into," he said.

* * *

A few minutes later, Jack reentered the cell Calvin and Hobbes were sitting in. 

They looked up from their card game.

"Oh, hey. What happened?" Calvin asked.

"Eh. The MTM bloom him to bits," said Jack, opening the door. "Frank said something along the lines of 'It just wouldn't shut up'."

Calvin and Hobbes left the cell.

"Thanks," said Hobbes.

"Oh, don't thank me," said Jack. "Thank MTM. For a CD player, he's a pretty cool guy."

Calvin picked up MTM.

"How'd you do it?" he asked.

"He activated the Attack Option," said MTM.

"You don't _have_ an Attack Option."

"I know. I just wanted to hurt him somehow. Bit of fun."

Calvin and Hobbes sighed.

"Well, MTM, it seems as though you've saved us, in your quirky ways," Calvin said.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for doubting you," Hobbes said reluctantly. "Now let's go home. I've got stuff to do back home."

They said goodbye to Jack and left.

Jack then picked up a broom.

"Now, alls that's left to do is clean up Frank," he said.

And he entered the experimenting room.

* * *

The next day, Calvin and Hobbes were at home. 

Calvin had decided to let MTM keep the voice chip.

In fact, the two were working together when Hobbes burst in.

"CALVIN! COME QUICK!" he shouted. "SOCRATES IS IN TROUBLE!"

"Good," said Calvin casually.

There was a pause as Calvin continued working and Hobbes stared at him.

"Oh come on, Calvin! I can't do this myself, and Andy and Sherman aren't here!" Hobbes wailed.

Calvin simply shook his head.

"Oh, come on, Calvin," MTM said. "It might be a bit of fun. You get a chance to Socrates in pain."

Calvin considered this.

"Oh, very well. Come on."

Calvin picked up MTM and followed Hobbes.

"Quick! To the Calvinball field!" Hobbes said.

They ran to the field, and upon arrival, Calvin started out to it.

But as he walked, he failed to notice a string he stepped on.

This triggered a dart gun to fire.

The dart suddenly zipped past Calvin.

"What the…?" Calvin cried. "MTM, Main Menu! Select Option Five!"

"Uh-huh," said MTM, doing so.

The dart struck a target, which had a match taped to the top.

"Aim me at the sky," MTM said.

The target fell, causing the match to strike a tree and catch fire.

Calvin couldn't see any of this.

"Processing…," MTM said casually.

The lit match lit the fuse on a toy rocket.

"Processing…," MTM said again.

_**SWISH!**_

From behind Calvin where he couldn't see it, the rocket took to the air.

"Processing…completed."

"Well?" Calvin asked.

The rocket flew all the way to the other end of the field.

"Take two steps to the right," MTM said.

Calvin did so.

Just then, Socrates appeared.

"HEY!" he shouted.

He started running towards Calvin.

Calvin saw him.

"Socrates! There you are!" he said, not moving. "Hobbes said you had a problem! What is it?"

The rocket landed on the other end of the field, landing directly on another piece of string.

Just when Socrates reached Calvin, a trap door opened up under him, where Calvin had been just a moment ago.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Socrates screeched.

Calvin watched as Socrates disappeared through the trap door.

_SPLUT!_

Calvin stared.

"Ew…," he said. "What is it?"

"Either mayonnaise or Elmer's Glue," MTM commented. "How many trap doors do you see in a field, anyway?"

Calvin laughed down the trap.

"Undermined by your own prank, eh, Socrates?" he shouted. "Good for me I installed a Prank Sensory chip into MTM!"

"Jape of the year," MTM said.

Socrates could be heard growling.

"C'mon, MTM," Calvin said, walking away. "Let's have a cup of tea, shall we?"

"Delightful."

**The End**

**Voice Work:**

**Pamela Segall Adlon: **Calvin  
**Tom Hanks:** Hobbes  
**Norman Lovett: **MTM  
**Neil Crone: **Dr Brainstorm  
**Michael Brandon: **Jack  
**Ryan Stiles: **Socrates  
**Andrew Lawrence: **Andy  
**Colin Mochrie: **Sherman

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Mission: Socrates 


	18. Mission: Socrates

**Summary:**When Socrates begins acting strangely, Calvin and Hobbes begin to spy on him to figure out what he's up to.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**Mission Socrates**

Andy and Sherman were in their garage. Andy was holding a tape measurer and running it along a piece of wood he wanted to cut. Sherman was watching him.

"Hey, Shermie," he said. "Write these measurements down for me."

"Sure," said Sherman, pulling out a pencil and paper.

Andy started to measure. He stretched the measurer to the length of the board.

"Okay," he said. "Two feet three inches by…"

Sherman wrote it down.

Then Andy measured the width.

"Six inches and…three thirty-seconds of an inch," he said.

There was a pause as Andy looked closely at it.

"Or, um…five sixty-fourths?" he said, squinting his eyes at it.

There was another pause.

Sherman waited with the pencil.

"No, no, it's…yeah…three thirty-seconds…I think," he said unsurely.

Sighing, Andy glanced up at Sherman.

"Tell me again why we don't use metric?" he sighed.

"I'm just gonna make up a number," Sherman said, writing something down.

Then they saw someone walking down the street.

It was Socrates. He was walking along, looking innocent and whistling a random tune like he always did.

"Hello, Socrates!" Andy called. He waved at him.

Socrates jumped in surprise and stared over them.

"Oh, hi, Andy," he said nervously. "I was just going… I was on my way to… I was planning… I… Uh… BYE!"

_**VROOM!**_

In a puff of smoke, Socrates vanished down the sidewalk as fast as he could.

Andy and Sherman stared.

Then Sherman got bored and went back to reading a book.

Andy arched an eyebrow.

"What'd I say?" he asked.

"Don't blame yourself," Sherman sighed. "It's not your fault he's a chunkhead."

Andy nodded and resumed what he was doing.

* * *

Hobbes was resting in the field when Calvin suddenly ran up carrying volleyball. 

"Hey, wanna play Calvinball, Hobbes?" he asked.

"No," Hobbes replied. "I'm getting in some quality sitting."

There was a pause.

Calvin stared as Hobbes continued to sit.

This lasted for five seconds.

"…You're kidding, right?" he asked.

Hobbes glared at him.

"What?" he demanded. "I can't have hobbies?!"

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Why the sudden interest in Calvinball anyway?" Hobbes continued. "We haven't got any games scheduled today."

"I dunno," Calvin said. "March Madness, I guess."

There was another pause.

"Okay," Hobbes said. "First, it's April, and second, that's basketball."

"Details, details," Calvin sighed. "Are we gonna play or not?"

Hobbes sighed.

"Fine," he muttered, getting to his feet.

Calvin grinned and pulled the masks out of his pocket. As Hobbes was putting his on, he saw Socrates walking up the sidewalk.

"Hey, Socrates!" he called. "Wanna play Calvinball?!"

Socrates stopped suddenly and stared at them.

"Oh…," he said. "I…er…I…uh…"

"Yeah, come on," said Calvin, holding up a third mask. "You always have the best rule ideas!"

Socrates paused.

"Uh, I'd like to, but I…er…I have to go…uh…I GOTTA GO!" he shrieked.

_**VROOM!**_

Socrates was gone in a flash.

Calvin and Hobbes watched him flee. There was a pause. Calvin sighed.

"You know, the more I meet people, the more I like my dog," he said.

Hobbes glanced at him.

"Um, you don't have a dog."

There was a pause.

Calvin thought about this.

"I don't see how that should change my views on people," he said.

Hobbes nodded in agreement and tossed the ball in the air.

"Okay, whoever catches this gets to make the other a tuna fish sandwich," he said, watching the ball.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

* * *

That afternoon, Hobbes was making his way up to Socrates' mansion. He was carrying a box with a cable dangling behind him. He arrived at the giant doors and knocked on them. 

There was a brief pause before Socrates appeared at the doors.

"Oh, hi, Hobbes!" he said quickly. "Can we make this quick?"

Hobbes raised his eyebrows.

"Uh, sure, I'm just returning your DVD player," he said, handing it to him.

Socrates snatched it away.

"Good, good!" he said, looking both ways.

"Uh, can I come in?"

Socrates' eyes bugged out. "NO! NO! NO ONE MAY ENTER!" he shouted.

Hobbes jumped back in surprise.

"Why not?" he asked.

Socrates paused to think.

"Uh…we're…stinky," he said pathetically.

There was a pause.

"Well, see ya!"

_**SLAM!**_

The door, despite being only open a crack, slammed shut so hard that Hobbes fell over.

"What the heck is he up to?" Hobbes muttered suspiciously.

* * *

Calvin and Andy were in Sherman's lab along with the genius hamster. They were all wearing lab coats and goggles. Calvin was holding a beaker full of fizzing liquid while Andy held another one full of another fizzing formula. 

Sherman was documenting the whole thing one a tiny clipboard.

"Okay," he said. "Calvin, when I say so, you pour the chemicals into Andy's beaker. Got it?"

"Check," Calvin said, holding the liquid over Andy's.

Andy covered his eyes.

"Can we make this quick? My arms are falling asleep," he groaned.

Sherman glared at him.

"Hey, this has to be done carefully and exactly accurately," he said sternly. "One wrong move and the whole thing could destroy us all!"

"Uh-huh," said Calvin. "Can we move it along now?"

"Wait for it… Wait for it…," said Sherman, holding up a paw and watching his watch closely.

_**WHAM!**_

The door suddenly swung open, revealing Hobbes at the doorway at the top of the stairs.

This caused Calvin to jump in surprise, and the liquid in his beaker landed in Andy's.

"Take cover!" Sherman cried, ducking behind some supplies.

_**BLAM!**_

The liquids reacted in a huge fireball that knocked Calvin and Andy off their feet.

When they got up again, they were blackened by the blast, and their hair was forced back. There was a pause.

Finally, Calvin ruffled his hair, putting back to normal.

Andy brushed his face off. "Well, we got that done," he sighed.

Sherman grumbled at Hobbes, who now coming down the stairs.

"You're interrupting important work here, you idiot!" he shouted. "What could you possibly want?"

"Just to be loved," Hobbes sighed.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Anyway, Socrates is acting weirder than usual," he continued. "He wouldn't let me in the mansion today."

"He's probably wised up and decided to never let us in there again," Sherman sighed. "We've destroyed that place several times."

"Nah, he's pretty easy going about that," said Hobbes.

Calvin paused and thought.

"Hmm, he turned down a game of Calvinball earlier today," he said. "He never turns that game down. It's his perfect chance to humiliate me with his rules."

"And he ran off when I said 'hi' to him this morning," said Andy. "You don't suppose he's up to something, do you?"

"When is he not?" Sherman demanded.

Calvin nodded.

"He's right," he said. "Socrates is _never_ to be trusted. We need to get to the bottom of this."

"Right," said Hobbes.

There was a pause.

"…How do we do that?" Hobbes asked at last.

* * *

A few minutes later, they were in Andy's kitchen, and they were all gathered around the phone. 

"So…the plan is…?" Sherman asked.

"Simple," said Calvin. "Hobbes, you call Socrates and ask to know what he's up to. He'll probably let you in on the scam, and you can work from the inside and report back information."

"Right," Hobbes replied. He took the phone and dialed the number for Socrates' mansion. There was a pause as he waited for him to pick up.

Finally, at the other end, a voice was heard.

"Hello?" Socrates asked.

"Socrates, it's Hobbes," Hobbes said.

"Oh!" He sounded surprised. "Uh, what's up?"

"I was just checking to see if you had any pranks scheduled for this week. It's a little boring around here and I need some excitement."

There was a pause at the other end of the line.

"Er, um, there's nothing going on, I'm afraid," Socrates said, chuckling nervously.

Hobbes was surprised.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"Uh-huh! Sorry. I'll let you know if anything happens, though."

Hobbes paused.

"Um, Socrates, what's going on at your house, exactly?" he asked.

There was a pause and brushing against the phone.

Hobbes glanced at the others, who merely shrugged. He returned to the phone.

"Uh, listen, Hobbes, this is sort of a bad time," Socrates said quickly. "I haven't got time to talk, but we'll get back to later and we'll do lunch. Tootles!"

"Wait, I…!"

The phone on the other end was hung up, and the dial tone was all he could here now. He looked back up at the others as he put the phone down.

"Well…?" Calvin asked.

"He said there was nothing planned," Hobbes said.

Calvin thought.

"This must be bigger than we thought!" he said, thinking hard. "Socrates must be planning something huge!"

"Yeah, but what could it be?" Andy asked, rubbing his chin.

"Well, there's only one thing to do!"

"What's that?" Sherman asked.

"We must form an investigation!"

There was a pause.

"Must we?" Andy asked.

Calvin glared at him. "Come on! We'll be like spies! We'll monitor Socrates' every move and see what he plans on doing, and then we'll outsmart him!" he said.

"Uh-huh," Hobbes sighed. "I can only imagine how _this_ is going to end."

"Oh stop being so negative. It'll go fine! Come on, guys! Mission: Socrates is now in affect!" he said.

* * *

In their treehouse, Calvin and Hobbes were sitting around. Calvin was keeping a sharp lookout through a pair of binoculars while Hobbes napped. 

"Still no sign of him," Calvin muttered. He was holding his position pretty well. In fact, a bird had now touched down on his head.

There was a long pause until…

"FOUND HIM!" Calvin shouted, scaring away the bird.

Hobbes jumped up in surprise.

"Who?! What?! When?! Where?!" he shouted, looking in all directions.

"The target has been located!" Calvin said triumphantly. "Socrates is coming up the sidewalk."

Hobbes looked down the sidewalk. He could see Socrates. He was walking down the street, looking in several directions as he walked. He was going at a moderate speed.

"Hobbes, now's your cue," Calvin whispered.

"Right," said Hobbes.

Very stealthily, Hobbes climbed down the tree and snuck carefully through the grass like a snake. Then he slunk into some bushes and waited for Socrates to get close enough. Once he was, he popped out of the bush.

Socrates stopped when he saw him.

"Hi, Socrates!" Hobbes said cheerfully. "Where're you going?"

Socrates paused and looked around himself carefully.

"Uh…nowhere," he said.

"Nonsense! We're all going somewhere! Where did you plan on going?"

"Uh…," Socrates said unsurely. "Home."

"Ah, how nice. Say, Socrates, I've noticed that you look more nervous than usual. Why is that?"

Socrates quickly glanced around himself.

"Oh, no reason," he said quickly. "Nothing's wrong. I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Well, it just seems that…"

"Look, Hobbes, I've gotta go. I'll see you later," he said quickly.

Socrates immediately pelted down the sidewalk.

Hobbes watched him leave, and then pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"Status report," he said into it. "Suspect is acting very stand-offish and nervous. He continues to look around while I speak to him. Over."

There was a brief crackle on the other end before Calvin was heard.

"Roger that. Report back to base. Over and out."

Hobbes put the walkie-talkie away and hurried up to the treehouse again.

* * *

Andy and Sherman were stationed behind some bushes on the sidewalk. 

Andy was holding the MTM.

"OK, guys," Calvin said through the MTM's walki talki. "Socrates is acting weirder than ever. Are guys into position? Over."

"Really, is it necessary to say 'over' whenever your done talking?" MTM asked. "When you do the math right, it really costs you a lot of time in the long run."

Andy shrugged.

"Sounds cool," He said.

Then, he turned to the speakers.

"Yes, Calvin, we're in position. We'll be here if you need anything. Over."

MTM sighed.

"Alright," Sherman said, peeking over the bush. "Where is that sneaky little tiger?"

"He'll be rounding the corner of the sidewalk in T-12 seconds." MTM replied, in a bored tone.

"Oooh, Sherman, get down!" Andy hissed.

The two ducked behind the bush, and froze.

Suddenly, Socrates rounded the corner.

He was grinning like mad and humming the Red Dwarf theme song to himself.

He strolled past Andy, Sherman and MTM, not noticing them.

They watched him vanish behind another corner.

"Report," Andy said into the MTM. "No strange behavior, currently. I need more time. Hold on, a second..."

Andy stood up, and ran after Socrates.

"HEY, SOCRATES!!" He yelled, holding his hand up.

Socrates jumped in surprise and whipped around.

"I DIDN'T DO IT!!!" He screamed, frantically.

Andy stopped and stared at him.

"What?" He asked.

Socrates blinked.

"Uhh... I mean, I didn't do _it!!_"

He paused.

"_I_ didn't do it!" He yelled, gripping his chest.

Andy raised an eyebrow.

"I_ didn't _do it!" Socrates exclaimed. "I didn't _do_ it!! _I_ didn't _do_ it!!"

There was a long moment of silence.

Andy, Sherman and MTM all stared at Socrates, silently.

Socrates rubbed his chin.

"I need to work on that," He considered.

Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

"Well, anyway," Socrates said, throwing a glance at a nearby bush. "I need to go. I've got stuff to do! GOTTA GO!!!"

And with that, Socrates bolted off down the sidewalk.

There was a pause.

"MTM, did you catch that?" Andy asked.

"Mm-hmmm," MTM replied.

"Send it off to Calvin, please," Andy said.

"Mmm-hmmm," MTM said.

* * *

"OK," Calvin said a little later once they had all met back at the tree house. "Andy, Sherman, MTM, I need you guys to scout the area around Socrates' house. Check all the windows to see if there's some kind giant prank machine in his livingroom or something." 

"Roger!" Andy said, doing a salute.

"Hobbes and I will follow Socrates. He's currently heading into town so we'll see what we can find out." Calvin said.

"Good," Hobbes said.

"What if Socrates catches us at the house?" Sherman asked, suddenly.

"MTM has Socrates' location locked." Calvin replied. "If he comes to close to you guys, he'll let you know."

There was a moment of silence.

"_Right,_ MTM?" Calvin growled.

"What?" MTM asked, as if just noticing everyone. "Oh, yeah, sure... Why not?"

"Good!" Calvin nodded. "MOVE OUT, MEN!!"

Calvin and Hobbes then ran off.

Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.

Socrates strolled casually down the sidewalk.

Calvin and Hobbes watched him from a nearby bush.

"OK, Hobbes," Calvin hissed. "What's he doing?"

Hobbes peered through the branches.

"He's just... walking." He whispered back.

Socrates walked past them, and seemed to not notice them.

Just then, he stopped.

Calvin and Hobbes froze.

Socrates whipped around.

"WHO GOES THERE!!" He shouted, holding his arms up in defense.

Calvin and Hobbes remained silent.

Socrates' head shot from side to side.

Then, his eyes fell on the bush.

He stared straight at Calvin for a long moment, his eyes wide.

Calvin didn't move a hair.

Then, Socrates' eyes moved away and he put his arms down.

"Whew..." He sighed. "False alarm."

He turned, and started to leave.

But not before throwing another nervous glance over his shoulder.

Calvin and Hobbes remained still for a moment to make sure Socrates was gone.

Then, they stood up.

"Oh, god, Hobbes this is more urgent than I thought!" Calvin hissed. "This prank is so complex and dangerous that even _Socrates_ is upset about it!"

"He's the one who planned it out," Hobbes said.

"That's my point," Calvin growled. "He could have the entire _town_ rigged!"

Calvin and Hobbes began looking around, nervously.

"We have to keep following him," Hobbes said. "Maybe if we find out what he's planning we can prevent it before it happens."

Calvin glared.

"That's what we're doing right now." He said.

Hobbes blinked.

"Oh... It is?"

"What did you _think_ we were doing?" Calvin demanded.

Hobbes paused.

"Uhh.. I don't know..." He said, finally.

Calvin slapped his forehead.

* * *

Meanwhile, Andy and Sherman were making their way to Socrates' mansion. 

"Hmmm... this isn't good," MTM commented, suddenly as they all approached the mansion.

"What is it?" Andy asked.

"According to my sensors, Socrates has every single booby trap around his yard set for anyone who tries to get in." MTM said.

Andy's eyes burst open.

"He's set _all_ the traps?" He asked.

"Mmm-hmmm," MTM said. "All four hundred and twenty three of them."

"He only does that on special occasions," Sherman said.

"Or when he has something _big_ in his house that he doesn't want people to see." Andy said.

"And the plot _thinnens!_" MTM said.

"Oh knock it off," Andy spat. "We need to find a way around the traps."

"Oh I can get you around the traps," MTM said. "I'm more worried about the house,"

"Why?" Sherman asked.

"Socrates also has his security system on full power. I can't scan the interior." MTM replied.

There was another pause.

"Wow," Andy said, quietly, staring at the giant mansion. "What could he be planning that he would go through so much _trouble_ to do?"

* * *

Calvin darted from tree to tree, following Socrates into town. 

He was whistling a tune to himself, but still nervously throwing glances over his shoulder as he walked.

Calvin and Hobbes glared after him.

"OK, Hobbes," Calvin hissed. "We're getting into town, so we're running out of trees. Any ideas?"

Hobbes looked around.

"There! The mailbox!" He said, pointing at the blue box on the side of the road.

Socrates strolled past it, throwing a suspicious glance at it.

Calvin and Hobbes darted behind it.

Socrates looked over his shoulders, and walked into the Blockbuster nearby.

Calvin and Hobbes looked out from behind the mailbox.

"What could he be doing in there?" Calvin hissed.

"Buy a whole bunch of movies to dump on top of us, later today?" Hobbes suggested.

Calvin glared at him.

"Come on, Hobbes, be serious," he muttered.

"I am," Hobbes said.

Just then, Socrates came skipping happily out of Blockbuster, grinning like mad.

Calvin and Hobbes ducked behind the mailbox.

Socrates ran past them, and started heading back towards his neighborhood.

Calvin and Hobbes watched him.

"Hobbes, did you see him get anything in there?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes shook his head.

"He wasn't in long enough." He said.

"What was he doing?" Calvin asked.

"I dunno, but he's heading back for the mansion. Should we alert Andy and Vermin?" Hobbes asked.

"Nah, they can handle it," Calvin said. "Let's keep following him and see where else he goes."

Calvin and Hobbes rushed off after him.

* * *

Meanwhile Andy and Sherman had barely even made it through Socrates' front gate as MTM was maneuvering hem past all the traps. 

Andy was currently standing on one foot with his arms held out in front of him, and the other leg held up to his stomach. He was sweating.

"OK," MTM said. "Now veeeeerrry carefully put your foot on that square there."

Slowly, Andy placed his foot down on the next sidewalk square.

"You've just set off a banana creme pie trap. You'd better duck." MTM said.

Andy ducked.

_ZZZZZZIP!!_

A banana creme pie suddenly flew over Andy's head, and splattered all over the fence.

"Good," MTM said. "Now take your other foot off that square before the next seventeen seconds pass, or the automatic quicksand trap will spring up all over you."

Andy lifted his foot off the sidewalk and moved it forward.

"Very nice. Where are we?" MTM asked.

"We're three inches from the front gate." Sherman growled.

"Good, only fifteen feet to go." MTM said.

Andy and Sherman groaned.

"OK, Andy," MTM said. "You're about to step on a string, don't move your hand anywhere to the left, there's a bunch of paint filled water balloons aimed at you head, and oooh... look's like Socrates is coming."

Andy and Sherman's eyes burst open.

"WHAT?!" Andy yelled.

"Probably a bad time for him to be coming, huh?" MTM asked.

Andy panicked, and dropped his foot.

_TWANG!!!!_

Suddenly a truck load of paint balloons hurled for Andy.

Andy leaped away from them, snapping a string that was stationed around the perimeter of the yard.

_SNAPP!!_

_SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!_

Paint cans which were taped to the fence suddenly went off, spraying in all directions.

Andy ducked, and covered his head, and started pelting through the yard. Sherman held on to Andy's shoulder for dear life.

_FOOOM!! FOOOM!! FOOOM!! FOOOOM!! FOOOM!!! FOOOM!! FOOM!!!_

As Andy ran across the grass, smoke bombs suddenly went off wherever he stepped, leaving a large black cloud behind him.

Andy then ducked behind the house, dodging a net, which suddenly sprang up out of nowhere, and stood panting behind the house.

"Smooooooooth." MTM said.

Andy and Sherman glared at him.

Socrates walked up to his front gate, whistling to himself.

He seemed to not even notice the several prank traps that had gone off, as he strolled across his sidewalk and up to his front door.

He calmly ducked as a bunch of flying books went over his head, then calmly put his keys into the lock.

He opened the door up, watched as a bucket of water fell down onto the floor, kicked the bucket aside, and walked into the house.

Slamming the door, behind him.

_SLAMM!!!_

Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.

"He sure does have a good memory to where he put up all his traps." Sherman commented.

Andy nodded.

Suddenly, an electrical voice rang out throughout the mansion and outside

"SECURITY SYSTEM ACTIVATED! CODE RED! CODE RED!"

"You might want to step away from the house," MTM commented.

Andy jumped and backed away from the mansion.

Just then, a siren went off, and a large steel wall fell down in front of the front and back doors. Steel bars curled down over all the windows, and the shades were all automatically closed. The back out the house opened up, and giant chains burst from it, spreading across the entire mansion. A big barb wire fence burst from the ground around the yard, a giant sign popped out of the ground with big red letters saying 'GO AWAY', and all the prank traps were automatically reset.

Socrates peeked out from behind the blinds and cut his eyes from side to side, then, he disappeared behind it.

Andy, Sherman, and MTM watched, silently.

"I think we could classify this as mildly curious." MTM said, finally.

Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

* * *

It took Andy and Sherman fifteen minutes to get past all the traps, again, and to the front gate. 

There, they found, Calvin and Hobbes waiting for them.

"Well, what did you find out?" Calvin asked.

"Nothing," Andy sighed. "Socrates had so many traps set up in there, we couldn't even get to the door."

Calvin and Hobbes stared at them.

"You mean, he has _all_ his traps up?" Hobbes asked, finally.

Andy and Sherman nodded.

"Anyway, what did _you_ find out?" Andy asked.

"Not much," Hobbes said. "He walked into a Blockbuster in town, stayed there for about fifteen seconds, then left."

They all turned and stared at Socrates' mansion.

"He's probably watching us right now," Calvin growled. "That stupid cat enjoys _tormenting_ us before he gets us!"

"I dunno, maybe he's using that popular prank where he does nothing at all, and drives us insane by wondering what he was going to do." Hobbes said.

"He's already done that three times," Andy said. "That can't be it."

There was a long moment of silence.

Then, Calvin decided to take action.

"OK, that does it!" He growled. "MTM, bring Socrates here, right now! We're finding out he's doing, right now!"

"Uh huh," MTM said.

There was a pause.

Then...

_ZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!!_

Suddenly, Socrates appeared in a blast of electricity.

From his position, he was apparently holding something in front of his face staring at it, while sitting in a chair.

He looked around for a second, then collapsed onto the ground.

"Oof!" he grunted.

"OK, kitty!" Calvin growled. "You're going to tell us what you've been planning and you're gonna do it _now!!_ NOW BUDDY!!!"

Socrates stared around, confused for a moment, then stood up.

"I know not what your talking about," He said, finally.

"Don't give us that!" Sherman spat. "You've been acting like the end of the world is coming! Your constantly looking over your shoulder, you always have to be somewhere, and you won't let us in your house!"

"Yes, that's correct." Socrates nodded, casting a nervous glance down the road.

"You went into Blockbuster and spent maybe twenty seconds in there before leaving!" Hobbes said.

"Uh huh," Socrates said, rocking up and down on his heels, anxiously.

"You have every single prank trap set up for anyone who comes near your house." Andy said.

"Yep, sure do." Socrates agreed.

There was a pause.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!" Calvin screamed, finally. "WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING?!?!? _TELL US!!!_"

"I tell you, I'm not planning anything," Socrates said. "And I am outraged that you would be of so little faith that I am!"

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all gave Socrates a 'give us a break' look.

Socrates cut his eyes around the block.

"OK, guys, I'll tell you," He said, finally.

Everyone perked up.

Socrates cut his eyes back and forth.

"But we can't do it, here. There are too many people!"

There was a pause.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman looked all around in search of someone.

"Uh... Socrates," Andy began. "There aren't any..."

"That's nice, Andy!" Socrates grinned. "MTM, let's all go to the house, shall we?"

"Sure, just use me for everything," MTM said. "Don't bother walking or anything."

"I knew you'd understand!" Socrates grinned.

_ZZZZZZZZT!!!!_

Suddenly, in a blast of electricity, Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman disappeared from the sidewalk, and reappeared in Socrates' mansion.

_ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!_

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman looked around the livingroom.

Everything seemed normal.

Socrates pranced across the floor over to a chest by the chair.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a key.

He placed it into the lock, and turned it.

He opened up the chest up, and pulled out a large box.

He threw the other key aside and took another one from his pocket.

He unlocked that box, and pulled out a third box.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.

Socrates unlocked the third box, and pulled out something wrapped up in bubble wrap.

He pulled the rubber band off and took bubble wrap away.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at the item in Socrates' hands.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged confused glances and Andy and Sherman continued staring at it.

Socrates was holding a DVD. It had the title, Double feature: _Pranking: A Documentary _and_ Pranking: THE MOVIE_

There was a long moment of silence.

"Well?" He asked, grinning. "Isn't it great?!"

"Uhhh... yeah..." Hobbes said, finally.

"Socrates?" Calvin asked.

"Hmmm, yes?" Socrates asked.

"_This_ is what you've been acting so oddly about?"

"Yep," Socrates nodded.

"You've been obsessing over a stupid movie?" Calvin demanded.

"Two movies," Socrates corrected.

"We thought you getting ready to prank the entire United States," Andy said.

Socrates made a sound with his lips.

"You guys act like I'm not _trustworthy!_" He scoffed.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at Socrates for a long moment.

"Plus, you know this is a super rare DVD!" Socrates said, ignoring them. "I've been looking for it for _months!_ It's not even listed on amazon!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"When I finally found it on this pranking website, I had to pay a pretty penny for it. I maxed out Elliot's parent's Visa. And when I got it, I had to put it under MAXIMUM security! Do you know what people would go through to get this thing?! I've been really tense lately, because I want to keep it to myself!!"

"What_is_ it, anyway?" Sherman asked.

"Why a guide to best pranks in the universe, of course!" Socrates said. "I went into Blockbuster to see if _they_ had it, because I forgot to check there."

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

"So let me get this straight, Socrates," Calvin said. "We've spent this whole time wondering what you were doing, and _all_ you were doing was obsessing over a stupid DVD?!"

"Yeah, pretty much," Socrates nodded.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman groaned.

"Well, anyway, I have to get back to guarding it!" Socrates sat down.

"Socrates, no one even knows you have it," Sherman sighed.

Socrates shrugged.

"Eh, then I'll just keep it up to bug you guys!" He said.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman glared at him.

So, after saying their goodbyes, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman left the mansion and went their separate ways.

Socrates gradually stopped obsessing over the movie so much. Especially after watching it, and finding out it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Then he got in trouble with Elliot after he found out how much he paid for it.

So in other words it was just a regular day in the neighborhood of Calvin and Hobbes.

**The End**

**Voice Work**

**Pamela Segal Adlon** Calvin  
**Tom Hanks **Hobbes  
**Ryan Stiles** Socrates  
**Andrew Lawrence **Andy  
**Colin Mochrie** Sherman  
**Norman Lovett** MTM

* * *

**Coming up Next: **New Year, New Disasters! 


	19. New Year, New Disasters

**Summary: **Calvin and Hobbes celebrate the arrival of 2008

* * *

_And now a Calvin and Hobbes: The Series Holiday special!  
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**New Year, New Disasters**

Calvin was on the phone.

It was two days after Christmas.

"Hello?" he said. "Yes, for Christmas, a generous donation was given to you in my name, and I just wanted to know how your return policy works. Yes, I'm serious. I want some of that money! Hello? Hello?!" he shouted.

Calvin grumbled as he hung up the phone.

Just then, Mom came in with the mail.

"Mail's here," she said, sorting through it.

"Did I get anything?!" Calvin asked eagerly.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, Calvin," she replied.

"But you never know! Maybe I got some last minute Christmas gifts from Santa! He could have sent me the grenade launchers by traditional postage!"

Mom rolled her eyes and continued to sort the mail. Then her eyes opened wider.

"Oh! You got a letter," she said, handing it to him.

Calvin eagerly took it.

"YES!" he cried. "Maybe it's a Christmas card with cash in it!"

"Calvin, why do you always demand money in your cards?"

"It's my only real source of income."

Calvin quickly opened it. His face fell.

"Oh," he said. "It's an invitation to a party."

"We got invited to a New Year's party?" Mom asked.

Calvin read it.

"It's an invitation to the New Year's party at the mansion a few blocks down," he said, reading it over.

Mom's eyes popped open.

"What?!" she cried.

"Yeah, Hobbes and I are cordially invited to take part in the New Year's party this week. There's going to be cake, cookies, games, fondue…"

"Fondue?!" Mom asked excitedly.

"Yeah, Mom, nothing says New Year's like the stink of a fondue pot," Calvin said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, this is great!" Mom said. "DEAR! GET IN HERE!"

Dad came downstairs.

"What?" he asked.

"We got invited to the party at the mansion down the block!" she cried excitedly.

Dad's face lit up.

"Are you serious?! We got invited?!"

"Yes!" Mom said happily.

They both started jumping up and down excitedly.

Calvin stared at them, and then reread the invitation.

"Uh, actually," he said, "it doesn't say anything about you."

Mom and Dad immediately stopped.

"What?!" Mom asked.

"Yeah, it just says me and Hobbes."

"Let me see that!"

Mom snatched the invitation away from Calvin and began reading it. She read it three times. She stared at Calvin.

"Oh…my…," she said slowly. "They only invited our son…and his stuffed tiger?!"

Dad looked it over.

"It…looks like it," he said, the excitement draining.

Calvin simply grinned.

"But…but…why were you…?" Mom asked.

"Hobbes and I know the tiger who lives there, Socrates," Calvin replied. "He must have put a word in for us."

Mom and Dad stared as Calvin snatched invitation back.

"I'm gonna tell Hobbes. We're gonna go down to the mansion and see what's going on for the party. See ya!"

Calvin ran upstairs to get Hobbes.

Mom and Dad continued to stand and stare at him, their mouths hanging open.

"I can't believe this," Mom finally said.

"Well, it looks like it's just us and the neighbors again," Dad said, clapping his hands together. "We can have pizza rolls and watch Humphrey Bogart."

Mom groaned.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes had stopped by Andy and Sherman's on the way to the mansion. 

"I've never understood the big deal about New Year's," Sherman said.

"What do you mean?" Calvin asked.

"Well, it's just so arbitrary! The Earth makes _one_ orbit around the sun, and then comes right back to this random point. The man who figured out the calendar thought the Earth was flat!"

"Yeah, and we don't want to be on _his _side, now do we?" Andy said.

They arrived at the mansion and saw that lots of lights were being hung around it and some decorations were in the yard. Lots of people were helping put it up.

Socrates was in the yard when they arrived.

"Hey, guys!" Socrates said cheerfully.

"Hey, Socrates," Hobbes said. "You guys setting up for your party?"

"Absotively posolutely, Hobbo!"

"Man, looks like a lot of work," said Calvin.

"Yeah, we could stand to have a few more helping hands…," Socrates said, "…or paws."

The others rolled their eyes.

"So, you all wanna help?" Socrates asked. "We need a party coordinator."

Calvin grinned.

"Uh-oh," said Hobbes, stepping aside.

"Socrates, I am willing to step in and help you out!" he said.

Socrates grinned. "Can you count from 1 to 10?"

Calvin frowned. "You mean from 10 to 1?"

"Ooh, you're gonna be good!"

* * *

Later on, they were in Socrates' room watching _The Grinch Who Stole Christmas_. 

"So, anybody here look back on their accomplishments from the past year?" Calvin asked. "We've gotten so much done! I mean, for example, I gave the MTM his voice chip, this year."

Socrates nodded. "Yeah, I pulled some gnarly pranks this past year," he said proudly.

"I saved us from our future selves," Hobbes said, grinning.

"I conquered my fear of the vet," said Sherman.

"Conquered your fear?" Andy asked. "You went in kicking and screaming!"

"Yes, but I came out with restored vigor!"

"Shermie, you were barely conscious from the sedatives they gave you to calm you down."

"Yeah," said Hobbes. "And Socrates and I were stuck talking like ducks for three weeks!"

Sherman simply grinned.

"What'd_you_ accomplish this year, Andy?" Calvin asked.

"Well, I…," Andy started, but then he paused to think. Then he frowned. "Uh… There's just so many, I can't really pick one. Well, there was the…er…" He thought as hard as he could.

The others watched him expectantly.

"Well?" Socrates asked.

Andy scrunched his face up as he thought.

"Uh…I stopped the evil Inquisitor from deleting people, I changed a sparrow into a dinosaur, and I vanquished an evil computer virus in the style of an old western movie!" he said triumphantly.

The others stared at him.

"Andy?" Sherman asked.

"Yeah?"

"Those were all episodes of _Red Dwarf._"

There was a pause.

"Oh," Andy said meekly. "Then I guess I never kneed the Grim Reaper in the groin, did I?"

"Nope," said Hobbes.

Andy snorted.

"Fine!" he said, getting up. "I shouldn't be bothered with these trivialities! My achievements are grander, and if as such they are harder to define, then they are much grander for it!"

There was a pause as Andy looked nervous and he left the room very quickly.

"What'd he say?" Calvin asked.

"Something about being grand," Sherman replied.

* * *

The next day, Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were decorating the main room of the mansion. 

Calvin and Hobbes were just finishing hanging a giant sign.

It said, _BLAST OFF TO FUN!_

"There," said Calvin, climbing down the ladder. "Now _this_ says _fun!_"

"Yep," said Socrates, looking at it. "It says so _right__ there!_"

There was a pause.

"Yeah, I think he means the _vibe_ of the sign says fun," said Hobbes.

"Yep," said Socrates. "It says so right there at the bottom."

Calvin rolled his eyes.

* * *

At their house, Andy and Sherman were reading through the newspaper. 

"Would you look at this?" Sherman said, looking at an article.

"What?" Andy asked.

"This man just gave a billion dollars to the UN! Can you believe that?!"

Andy gulped.

"You know, I once invited the whole family to Sizzler," he said. "And for no real reason but to do it!"

Sherman ignored him.

"And it says here that someone spent eight months building an orphanage in Bosnia!" he said.

"Big deal," Andy said. "War torn countries are just full of places and opportunities for show-offs!"

Sherman rolled his eyes.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes came home that afternoon when they saw Mom and Dad getting ready to leave. 

"Where're you two going?" Calvin asked.

"Keep your coat on, Calvin," Mom said. "We're going to the Cider Festival."

Calvin waved her off.

"Actually, Hobbes and I just came back to have lunch, and then we'll be heading back to Socrates' mansion to help with the party some more. We have to help bring all the cake and cookies and brownies."

Mom and Dad stared at him.

"Just go without us. Bring us back some cider, but make sure it's not cold, because then it's just juice."

Calvin and Hobbes exited to the kitchen.

Mom glared after him.

Dad pulled her back.

"Come on, dear," he said gently. "You can drown your sorrows in the cider."

Mom growled angrily as Dad dragged her out the door.

"Don't worry," he said soothingly. "Just think of all the character you're building."

"If I do that, I'll want to kill you!" she grumbled.

Dad gulped and hurried her along.

* * *

Later that day, Calvin and Hobbes had gone back to the mansion, and they were going around the house. 

Hobbes was looking at a clipboard and walking around the den with Socrates.

"Okay," he said, looking everything over. "If we moved most of the furniture out of here, I'm thinking we could make room for a conga line!"

Socrates got excited.

"Oh, can I be the one who yells out 'conga'?" he asked. "You know, to get things going?"

Hobbes looked at him.

"Eh, why not?" he said.

Socrates grinned madly.

Just then, Andy appeared in the doorway.

"That's it!" he cried.

Hobbes and Socrates whipped around and stared at him.

"Uh, what is, Andrew?" Hobbes asked.

"I may have squandered three hundred and sixty-two days, but there is still time! I can make a difference! I'LL SHOW THE WORLD! I'M GONNA REACH FOR THE STARS AND _MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!_" he shouted, sticking his fists in the air dramatically.

There was a pause before Andy finally turned around and left.

Hobbes and Socrates watched him leave, and then stared at each other.

"What a loser," Socrates sighed.

Hobbes nodded and got back to work.

* * *

Two days later, Mom and Dad were sitting in the living room. 

There were several jugs of cider sitting around.

"Where's Calvin?" Dad asked.

"He and his stuffed tiger are finishing up the mansion for the party," Mom replied.

There was a pause.

They were both bored stiff.

"I've never drunken so cider in my life," Dad moaned. "My mouth feels so funky."

Mom simply nodded off to sleep.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were now staring at the fully decorated mansion. 

"Wow…," Calvin said, staring at it.

"We did good," Hobbes said, nodding approvingly.

"Yep."

Socrates entered the room with a bunch of balloons. He looked around the room.

"Alright!" he said. "Nice work! And now for the piece de resistance!"

He let the balloons float up into the ceiling.

"Yes!" said Calvin. "I now officially declare this party ready for action!"

Socrates checked his watch.

"Okay, we've got twenty-four hours until the New Year," he said.

"Good. We're going home to rest up for it," said Hobbes.

"What? You don't wanna stay and throw water balloons filled with cider at the neighbors?" Socrates asked.

"Cider?" asked Hobbes.

"Yeah, we got a ton of cider leftover from the Cider Festival from two days ago. We must have at least ten gallons of the stuff!"

"Thanks, Crateso, but for a party like this, we need our rest so we can party like there's no tomorrow," said Calvin. "Come on, Hobbes."

They all said their goodbyes and left.

Socrates simply grinned and pulled out a cider balloon.

"Oh well," he said. "More fun for me!"

And he ran to the roof.

* * *

That night, Andy was up in his room, writing down the various things he could do before the year ended at his desk. 

Sherman was watching him from the bed.

"So," The hamster began. "How's it going?"

"Fine," Andy said, quickly. "There has to be _something_ that I can do tomorrow before the year ends!"

Sherman hesitated.

"Well... What do you have so far?" He began.

Andy held up the list.

"Save the planet from blood thirsty alien dictators, start a home business, find a cure for the common cold, and revive a long since canceled TV show." He read.

Sherman stared at him.

"Uhh... OK..." The hamster began. "I'd aim for the TV show one."

Andy groaned.

"What am I gonna do, Sherman?" He asked, pitifully. "New Year's Eve is tomorrow! The last day of the year and I don't have anything to show for it!"

"Oh come, now, Andy," Sherman said. "_Surely_ you did _something_ significant this year."

Andy thought for a moment.

"I... helped make that revenge personality test for Socrates." He said, weakly.

Sherman sighed.

"Look, Andy, you still have a day to do something. I really wouldn't worry about it."

"You only say that because New Years Day is physiological to you." Andy growled.

"Yep." Sherman nodded. "Now, why don't you try to get some sleep? Then we can go enjoy that party tomorrow."

Andy paused.

"Maybe you'll do something worth while there." Sherman shrugged.

Andy sighed.

"You're right, Sherman. If I keep this up, I won't have enough energy for tomorrow." He said.

"That's the spirit!" Sherman said.

And so, Andy put his list away, and went to bed for the night.

Sherman did also.

But Andy got very little sleep that night.

He spent the whole time wondering what he could possibly do tomorrow that would remotely significant.

* * *

Around eight o'clock the next day, Calvin and Hobbes started getting ready for the party. 

"See ya, Mom, Dad!" Calvin called, Hobbes draped over his shoulder. "We're off to that New Years Bash!!"

"Well don't bother to have fun!" Mom yelled back, frantically. "Because we're going to have _more_ fun!! _Aren't_ we, honey?!"

"Oh you bet!" Dad said, through gritted teeth. "I have a bunch of_ great_ movies scheduled for the night! We're gonna have a blast!"

"_A BLAST!!!_" Mom added

"Whatever." Calvin said, rolling his eyes and walking out the door.

There was a pause.

"I'll get the cider." Dad sighed.

"Thanks." Mom grumbled.

* * *

Socrates was standing at the front door to his mansion, grinning madly, and holding a clipboard. 

All the booby traps throughout the yard had been disarmed, and everything was totally safe.

Socrates grinned as Calvin and Hobbes came walking up.

"Cally! Hobbo! Welcome to my humble party!" The tiger shouted.

He drew a line through Calvin and Hobbes' names on the clipboard.

"Hello, Socrates," Hobbes said.

"Hi, cat." Calvin yawned.

There was a pause.

"So, how many people are here?" Hobbes asked.

"So far, just you two, me and Elliot." Socrates said. "Elliot's in his room, getting ready."

"Cool!" Calvin said. "Any chance of meeting him and finally solving the mystery of who you live with?"

"Probably not." Socrates replied. "Anyway, come in! Have you traveled far?"

The tiger opened the door.

"Uh, no, we only walked a couple blocks down the street." Hobbes said.

"Fascinating!" Socrates said.

Calvin and Hobbes rolled their eyes, and walked inside the mansion.

The place was all decorated up for the party.

There were balloons hung everywhere, there was a banner announcing "HAPPY NEW YEAR" spread across the wall, there was a bunch of card tables with bright red table cloths over them lined up against the wall, piled up with refreshments, and there was a giant stereo against the left wall, with speakers all over the large room, playing dance music.

Calvin and Hobbes grinned.

"This is great!" Calvin chuckled.

Soon, other guests began to arrive.

Most of them were people Calvin had never met in his life. Socrates said they were either people Elliot knew by chance or people whom he had pranked.

Uh huh.

Then, Susie arrived, much to Calvin's dismay.

"What is _she_ doing here?" Calvin demanded, as Susie walked inside the mansion.

"Well, looky here," Hobbes said, cheerfully, cupping his hands to his cheeks. "Maybe this will be that magical year where you finally walk up Susie, all bashful and shy, and ask, nervously, if she would like to dance. And she would look up you, her eyes filled with love and desire and..."

Calvin's head turned.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" He asked in a dangerous calm.

"No. I was totally silent." Hobbes replied.

"I thought as much." Calvin said, turning back around.

Just then, a surprise visitor arrived.

"Welcome, guest!" Socrates shouted. "Allow me to allow you inside my humble abode!"

"Uh huh." Said a familiar voice.

Calvin and Hobbes looked up.

Jack T. Robot was walking into the mansion.

Calvin and Hobbes' mouths dropped open.

"Jack?!" They both said in unison.

"Yo," Jack said, walking up to them.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Hobbes asked.

"I was invited." Jack yawned.

"Well, what about Frank?" Calvin asked.

"No, he wasn't invited. He's at Yellowstone right now, drinking all our cider." Jack said.

There was a pause.

"Huh, figures." Hobbes said.

Jack then walked past Calvin and Hobbes over to a long table with a red table cloth over it piled up with refreshments.

The robot took a paper cup, and began pouring out some soda.

Calvin and Hobbes watched him.

"Uh, Jack?" Calvin asked.

"Hmmm?" Jack said, leaning against the table, and taking a sip from his cup.

"Aren't people going to freak out when they see a robot here?"

"Hey dude!" Someone called over at Jack. "Cool costume!"

"Nope." Jack replied.

Calvin and Hobbes rolled their eyes.

It was then that Andy and Sherman arrived.

"Ah!" Socrates grinned. "Gang's all here! Cally! Hobbo! Ando and Vermin!"

Sherman glared at Socrates.

"Come on in, guys!" Socrates pranced into the mansion, welcoming in his last guest.

Andy yawned, and walked into the house with Sherman.

He had gotten almost zero sleep last night.

"Hey, Calvin, Hobbes... the grey one." He muttered, sleepily.

"Hey, Andy," Calvin said. "You OK?"

"I'm fine, just a little tired is all." Andy yawned. "I spent all day trying to do something worth while."

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him unsurely.

"Uh, when did you actually go to bed, last night?" Hobbes asked.

"Five." Andy yawned.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

Just then, Sherman cut in.

"What's the robot doing here?" He demanded.

"Trying to drink my soda," Jack replied. "Does that cause any terrible dilemmas?"

Socrates came running up to Calvin and Hobbes.

"Alright then!" He grinned. "Everything is set! Now I have to go get Elliot! Yo, Jack!"

"Yes?" Jack replied.

"Get everything going, would ya?" Socrates requested. "Pass out the party hats and those things that you blow into to make a buzzing noise. Then turn the lights down and crank the tunes up!"

"Sure, it's not like I have anything better to do." Jack replied.

"Great! I'll be right back!"

And with that, Socrates rushed upstairs.

Jack sighed, and walked away.

He walked over to a panel on the wall, and began flipping the switches on it.

The lights slowly died, and were replaced with faint different colored lights, placed all over the room, lighting it enough so that people could get around.

Then, he walked over to the stereo, picked out his favorite song, and turned the volume up.

By this time, Calvin and Hobbes, Andy and Sherman both had split up to do their own thing.

Calvin and Hobbes were off at the refreshments table Andy was wandering around, wondering what he could do before the day ended, Sherman was socializing with the party guests and Jack had walked off to himself with a bottle of Pepsi and a magazine.

Soon, Socrates returned with Elliot.

Elliot was wearing a very different attire from what he was wearing the last time Calvin and Hobbes saw him. He was wearing a white T-shirt and black shorts. He had a blue baseball cap on his head, covering his hair as well as a pair of sunglasses, which basically covered the features of his face.

In other words, he was still a total mystery. Especially wondering why the kid wore sunglasses in his own house.

Socrates and Elliot talked for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, then went their separate ways.

The party progressed.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates danced like there was no tomorrow, Andy anxiously walked around, trying to figure out what he could do that was important, Sherman and Elliot interacted with the guests, with Sherman acting as if he wasn't from Calvin's group and Jack stayed off to himself with food, drinks, and a magazine.

About five hours of none stop partying went by.

Elliot walked up to a bowl of punch, and poured some out for himself.

Calvin and Hobbes were each eating a piece of cake at the table.

Socrates was still break dancing on the floor, but Calvin and Hobbes were taking a break.

They watched Elliot for a moment.

"Say, Calvin," Hobbes said, suddenly. "Why don't you go talk with Elliot?"

Calvin turned and stared at him.

"What?" He yelled, his eyes popping open.

"Well, why not?" Hobbes asked. "It might add some interest to the episode."

"Well what I'm I supposed to _say_ to the guy?" Calvin demanded. "I hate his tiger!"

"Hmm, good point." Hobbes considered. "Well, at least go say hi to him. See if you can get one line of dialogue out of him."

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Oh... very well, I'll go say hello." He growled.

"Very nice." Hobbes grinned.

"And if you lay one paw on my cake, I'm going tie you into a pretzel!" Calvin threatened, holding a finger up.

"Hear you loud and clear." Hobbes nodded.

Calvin grumbled to himself, and stood up from his chair.

Elliot was drinking his punch at the refreshments table, totally unaware of Calvin.

Calvin straightened up, and started towards him.

Suddenly, Elliot finished his punch, and crumbled up the cup.

He threw it in the garbage nearby, and walked away.

Calvin halted as Elliot disappeared into a crowd of people.

There was a pause.

Calvin's eyes narrowed.

"So that's how you want to play it, huh?" He hissed under his breath.

Socrates did a wild tap dance past Calvin, and continued dancing.

Calvin glared at him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Andy was pacing back and forth across the room, frantically looking at the clock on the wall. 

He had forty five minutes before the year ended.

"There has to be something I can do..." He said, weakly, looking around. "There _has _to be!"

Suddenly Andy spotted the cotton candy machine, someone was there working on the main components with a frustrated expression on his face.

Andy stared at him, then ran up.

"Uh, hi..." He started. "What's wrong?"

The teenage boy looked up.

"Ah, the machine's broken." He growled. "I don't know what's wrong with it. It was working perfectly when I got here."

"Could I have a look at it?" Andy asked, desperately. "I know a lot about machinery!"

The boy stared at him.

"Uh, sure, I guess." He began.

"Great!" Andy shoved him out of the way, and faced the machine.

He stared at it for a moment, then stuck his hand into the main components, and began pretending like he knew what he was doing.

"Uuuh... This is a snap!" He grinned. "I'll have this fixed in no time!"

The boy leaned against the wall, and crossed his arms.

Andy gulped, and turned back to the machine.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin was still trying to track Elliot down, who was always conveniently disappearing whenever he got close to him. 

Every time Calvin got remotely close to him, Elliot would turn and walk down the other side of the room, and start doing something else.

Sure.

And of course, this lead Calvin to be slightly peeved.

"HEY, YOU!!" He screamed, trying in vain to top the music. "GET OVER HERE AT ONCE!!! DON'T YOU KNOW AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE CONVERSATION WHEN YOU SEE ONE?!?! GET OVER HERE!! I AM ORDERING YOU!!! _I AM ORDERING YOU!!!!_"

"Who are you whispering to, Calvin?" Socrates grinned, doing the flamingo past the six year old.

"Shut up, Socrates." Calvin growled.

Socrates shrugged, and kept dancing.

Elliot didn't hear Calvin over the music as he continued to walk over to the refreshments table.

Calvin's eyes narrowed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Andy was still trying to repair the cotton candy machine. 

In total, pathetic vain, in case your wondering.

"Are... are you sure you know what your doing?" The boy asked, nervously, as sparks of electricity started flying from the machinery.

"Of_ course,_ I know what I'm doing!" Andy declared. "I know _exactly _what I'm doing! I'm... I'm..."

Andy pulled a wire out of the machine.

_BBZZZZT!!!_

Andy stared at it for a moment.

Then he turned a nervous grin onto the teenager, who stared at him, blankly.

"That's the thing... uh... fixing... itself?" Andy said, slowly.

The boy sighed.

"Look, I appreciate your help but I really should..."

"NO! I can fix it!" Andy said, frantically, casting a glance at the clock, which read 11:45. "Just give me a minute and..."

Andy turned back to the machine, and began sticking the wire back into the machine.

_BRA-ZAAP!_

Suddenly, electricity burst from the machinery, showering the area with sparks.

"Ya know, that thing cost me money." The boy sighed.

"I can do this!" Andy growled. "I just need to... AUGH!"

_ZZZZZT!_

Andy and the boy backed away in horror as the machine started shaking and humming loudly.

Sparks of electricity flew from it, and it began swinging from side to side, violently.

Andy and the boy looked at each other, nervously.

Suddenly, Calvin came walking up.

He walked over to the machinery, and pulled his MTM out of his pocket.

Then, he turned his back to Andy and the boy, and began messing with it, silently.

Suddenly, the cotton candy machine stopped shaking so violently, and fell back onto the table, motionless.

Calvin slammed the door to the machinery shut, flipped the "ON" switch, slipped the MTM back into his pocket, and then stormed off after Elliot.

There was a pause.

The boy walked up to the machine, and looked inside.

"Hey, it's working!" He grinned.

"That sounds about right." Andy sighed.

Suddenly, Sherman came walking up to Andy.

"I can't believe these people!" He complained. "All of them! Imbeciles! One of them keeps telling me the "Chicken crossing the road" joke, thinking it's hilarious, another is some whack telling me that everyone here are cyborgs and that we have to build some special robot thing to beat them, another one is ordering me to bow to his glass of punch, I mean come _on!__ This_ is the social status of that tiger?! It's disgraceful!"

"That's nice, Sherman," Andy said, blankly, picking the hamster up, and putting him in his pocket, as Socrates cartwheeled past them.

"I give up, Sherman," Andy sighed. "The new year is less than ten minutes away... and I haven't done anything that whole time."

"Oh, come now, Andy, you did do _some_ things!" Sherman said, encouragingly.

"Name two." Andy said.

Sherman paused.

"Well... you... that is you... uh... you... helped... me... build my stuff?" He began, slowly.

Andy sighed.

"It's useless." He sighed. "Calvin rescued us from Rupert Chill and Earl when they teamed up with Brainstorm, Hobbes saved us from the Time Plucker, Socrates saved me from becoming one of those show off-y jerks at the genius convention, you've saved Calvin from his super powers he got from his inventions, I've did... nothing."

Sherman paused.

"Uh, actually, I didn't do anything to save him." The hamster said. "Hobbes saved him through a time manipulator vortex."

"You know what I mean, Sherman," Andy muttered.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin had given up trying to contact Elliot, and was now heading back to Hobbes. 

"Well, I give up, Hobbes," He growled, sitting down next to tiger. "That dumb kid is always moving around. I can't even walk up to him."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Oh, nonsense. Nobody is _that_ elusive." He said.

"Well, he's managed to get through two and a half seasons without being introduced." Calvin said. "He was even able to conceal his name until mid-season two."

"True." Hobbes considered.

Just then, Socrates came jumping over to Calvin and Hobbes.

"Well guys!" He grinned. "Only five minutes until the New Year!"

"Yep," Calvin nodded.

"2007 has been... interesting..." Hobbes said.

"You said it! I was just about to round you guys, Andy and Sherman up." Socrates said.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

"Uh... Why?" Hobbes shrugged.

"Well, we have to make our New Year resolutions, don't we?" Socrates shrugged. "Only good to do it away from everyone else!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Sounds right to me." Hobbes said.

Calvin shrugged.

"Ho-kay." He said. "Where _is_ Andy, anyway?"

"Oh, I dunno." Socrates shrugged. "Off complaining about not doing anything significant, this year or something like that."

"Well, he _did_ die and then come back to life. There's that." Hobbes said.

Calvin and Socrates stared at Hobbes.

"Good point." Hobbes said. "Alright, let's go get him."

Calvin and Hobbes stood up, and started walking off with Socrates.

Andy was off sitting in a chair at the other end of the room.

He had glazed expression on his face as he watched the people dancing to the music.

He sighed, heavily.

Sherman looked up at him.

"Andy," He began. "You really shouldn't worry about this. I mean you'll have the whole of next year to save the world from something... I mean you should..."

Andy shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. I've gone 365 days without doing anything significant to anything. Maybe I shouldn't even be with you guys." He sighed.

Sherman looked at him, sympathetically.

Suddenly, Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates came running up.

"Hey, Andy!" Calvin said. "We're about to make our New Year Resolutions! Care to join us?"

"We had better hurry!" Socrates said, checking his watch. "The new year is less than three minutes away."

There was a pause.

Andy stared at Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates for a moment.

Then, he heaved a sigh.

"OK, I'll come." He said.

"Great!" Socrates yelled. "I'll tell Elliot to take over my party managing duties!"

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all stared at him.

"If I recall, the only thing you did this whole time was dance like some kind coffee-fueled lunatic." Sherman said.

"Right, someone has to keep the party alive!" Socrates said.

And with that, Socrates ran off.

Calvin crossed his arms.

"Right. I'd like to see that tiger try to even get _near_ that guy!" He chuckled. "Elliot is the most unintroduceable person on this show. He can't even..."

Calvin stopped.

His mouth dropped.

Socrates had walked right up to Elliot, who was over by the stereo, and had begun talking to him.

There was a long pause.

"Talk about timing." Hobbes commented.

"Shut up." Calvin growled.

After Socrates was done with that, he walked back over to Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman and grinned.

"That's taken care of. Let's go!" He said.

And with that, he rushed up the stairs to his room.

Calvin and the gang watched him.

Then, Calvin rolled his eyes and followed.

Hobbes did also.

Andy paused.

He heaved another deep sigh, then followed them up the stairs.

When he got there, Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were all sitting on Socrates' bed, discussing their New Year resolutions.

Andy walked up to them, Sherman in his pocket.

"Ah, greetings, Ando!" Socrates grinned. "We were just about to begin! Who would like to go first?"

There was a pause.

"I will," Calvin said. "I resolve to upgrade each one of my inventions in some shape or form since I did the MTM."

"Good," Hobbes said. "I resolve to break the current tuna consuming record and take my rightful place in Guinness."

"Very nice!" Socrates grinned. "I resolve to prank exactly four hundred million different people this year!"

"Socrates there's only three hundred million people in the Untied States," Sherman said, rolling his eyes.

"I know people in Mexico!" Socrates declared.

"Whatever." Sherman said. "I resolve to invent something useful that I could perhaps use in more than one time."

"Oooh, nice one!" Socrates grinned.

He turned to Andy.

"Alrighty-then, And-roid-y! What is your resolution for next year?" He asked, cheerfully.

All eyes went to Andy.

He paused for a long moment.

Then, he took a deep breath in and spoke.

"I... I... I don't know..." He sighed.

"Oh come, now, Andy!" Hobbes said. "Don't let this year get you down! You have an entire year of stuff to do! _Surely_you can think of something!"

Andy hesitated.

Then, he spotted Calvin.

Then, for the first time that day, he smiled.

"Calvin," He started.

Calvin blinked.

"Uh, yes?" He asked.

"I resolve to pay the bond on you, should you ever end up in jail." He said, finally.

Calvin stared at Andy for a moment.

Then, he grinned.

"Thanks, Andy." He said.

"No prob, buddy." Andy said. "It's the least I can do."

"Yeah, because chances are, after everything he's done, he'll be tried as an adult, now!" Socrates said.

Calvin turned a glare onto Socrates, who merely grinned.

"Well, Andy, how are you feeling about this year?" Hobbes asked.

"Oh, the past is the past." Andy said. "I'm not going to worry about it."

"That's the spirit!" Sherman yelled.

"All that matters is here and now." Andy said. "And I'm going to make the best of it."

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Sherman all grinned, widely.

Suddenly, a loud dong rang out through the house.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all turned around.

Another dong emitted from downstairs.

Followed by a third.

And a fourth.

Followed by eight more.

Around the fifth bong, Andy grinned, happily.

"Guys?" He said, turning back around.

"Hmm?" Everyone said, turning to Andy.

"Welcome to 2008." He said.

**The End**

**Voice Work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon** Calvin  
**Tom Hanks** Hobbes  
**Ryan Stiles** Socrates / Kid number 1  
**Andrew Lawrence** Andy  
**Colin Mochrie** Sherman / Kid number two  
**Michael Brandon** Jack  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt** Mom  
**Bill Murray** Dad

* * *

**Coming up Next: **SHELA'S BACK! 


	20. SHEILA'S BACK!

**Summary: **In order to keep Doctor Brainstorm from interfering from Sheila's plans to kill Calvin, she leaves Mother Brainstorm in his lab in Yellowstone.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie_

**SHEILA'S BACK!**

_It was a bright day in July. Everything seemed normal._

_Everything _seemed_ normal._

_The sound of a chainsaw ripped through the air, inside a particular yellow house._

_Contained in the attic of that house was Dr Brainstorm's sister, Sheila, and Calvin, who was tied to a chair and gagged, struggling to get away._

_The chainsaw was whirring loudly as Sheila moved in closer._

_Calvin was desperately trying to back away._

_But just then, Hobbes and Socrates burst into the room._

"_STOP RIGHT THERE, BRAINSTORM'S SISTER!" he shouted._

_Sheila turned off the chainsaw and looked back._

"_What the heck…?" she wondered._

_The duct tape came off of Calvin's mouth._

"_Brainstorm's sister?" he asked._

"_ATTACK!" shouted Socrates._

_Two tigers suddenly jumped the crazy lady and knocked her down._

"_AAHH!" she screamed. "CRAZY ROBOTS! HELP ME!"_

_Calvin watched with great interest._

"_GO HOBBES! GO SOCRATES! GO, GO, GO!" he chanted from his prison._

_Just then, Andy, Sherman and the rest of the gang entered the room._

_Mom, Dad, Susie and Rosalyn watched as a crazed woman rolled around on the floor with two stuffed tigers on her chest._

"_HELP! HELP!" she screamed._

_Andy and Sherman ran over and untied Calvin._

"_Thanks, guys," said Calvin, getting down from the chair. "Man, I didn't think Dr Brainstorm had a family. I always figured he'd just sprung from the ground."_

"_Same here," said Andy._

_Just then, they heard a bunch of footsteps as a man came in through the crowd. He was dressed in a policeman's, but he also had a really tall red hairdo. Behind him was a man who wore a similar uniform, but he was very gray and shiny._

_It was Dr Brainstorm and Jack._

"_There you are!" he shouted._

_Everyone stopped and stared at him._

_Brainstorm stormed over towards Sheila and yanked Hobbes and Socrates off of her._

"_Okay, Sheila. Come with me. You are under arrest!" he yelled._

"_WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I DEMAND MY ATTORNEY!" she yelled._

"_You have no attorney. Jack, let's book her!"_

"_Whatever you say, Frank," said Jack, getting out a notepad._

"_**DEPUTY BRAINSTORM!**__" he shouted._

_They dragged Sheila away._

"_JUST YOU WAIT! ALIEN! HE'S AN ALIEN! IT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATION! HOW ELSE COULD HIS HAIR DO THAT? _ALIEN!!_"_

_Jack dragged Sheila out of the house._

_Calvin and Hobbes watched._

_Dr Brainstorm leaned in towards them._

"_Yeah, don't get used to me helping you out," he muttered. "I only did this for two reasons. One: I can't stand her. And two: if anyone is going to kill you two, it'll be _me!_"_

_Calvin and Hobbes rolled their eyes._

_Brainstorm piled into the cop car with Jack at his side, and tied and bound Sheila trapped in the back._

"_Okay, Sheila, you're going home to mother," said Dr Brainstorm._

"_What? NO! NOT MOMMY! PLEASE! _SPARE ME!_"_

_Jack stuck some earplugs into his head and they drove into the sunset, and Sheila's screaming was heard for miles around._

_Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched them leave._

Our story takes place right here.

* * *

"NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!!" Sheila screeched, hopping up and down inside the police car. 

Brainstorm and Jack tried to ignore it, as Jack continued to steer the car through the traffic.

They had been driving for hours, and Sheila spent every second of it screaming.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!!" She shouted at them. "I HAVE MY RIGHTS!!! YOU CAN'T JUST DUMP ME OFF AT _HERS!!!__** HAVE YOU NO HEART!!!!**_"

"I always figured you Brainstorms lost your vocal cords generations ago." Jack said, turning to Brainstorm. "And they were replaced with air horns."

"Shut up and drive." Brainstorm growled through gritted teeth. "We're only about three miles away from her house."

"YOU'D DO THIS _**TO YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD!!!**_"

"Ew," Jack said, squinting his eyes.

Suddenly, Jack turned the wheel off the highway and down an exit.

Upon seeing this, Sheila freaked.

Again.

"NO!!!! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME THERE!! YOU BRING ME TO MY _DEEEEEATTTTTHHHHH!!!_"

She began hopping up and down, wildly, in her seat, screaming, insanely.

Brainstorm and Jack heaved deep sighs.

Jack drove the car through a small town towards a neighborhood.

Then, he pulled up to a small house.

It wasn't exactly what you'd expect a Brainstorm house to look like.

It was painted bright pink with flowers in the backyard.

Sheila stared at it in pure horror.

"NO!!" She screeched. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!! _NO!!!! __NO!!!!__ NO!!!!__ NO!!!!__ NO!!!!__ NO!!!!__ NO!!!!__ NO!!!! __NO!!!!__ NO!!!!_"

Jack got out of the car, walked over to the other side.

Upon opening the door, Sheila leaped out onto the ground, and began crawling away, still tied up in ropes.

Jack sighed, and walked over to her.

He grabbed her feet, and began dragging her across the lawn towards the front door.

"_NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_ _NO!!!!_" Sheila screamed, clawing at the ground, and trying to escape.

Jack dragged her over to the front door, and rang the doorbell.

Then, he dropped Sheila, and raced as fast as he could back towards the car.

Brainstorm was in the car screaming at him to hurry.

Jack ripped the car door open, flung himself inside, and started the car up.

_VROOOOM!!!_

The car engine roared to life, and the wheels began spinning, throwing dust up.

Then, the car sped away in a cloud of dust.

"_HAVE MERRCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!_" Sheila screamed, trying to crawl back to the car.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a lock coming undone behind the door, and then the door swung wide open.

Behind it was Mother Brainstorm.

* * *

"YES!" Brainstorm screeched, throwing his arm upward. "I'M FINALLY RID OF HER!! NOW I CAN GET BACK TO BEING _EEEEEEVIIILL!!!_" 

Jack rolled his eyes as Brainstorm burst out into maniacal cackling.

"Oh, yes, that reminds me," He said, suddenly, turning to Jack "We have to return these police stuff to those two unconscious guys in town."

"Uh huh." Jack replied.

"NOW JACK," Brainstorm ordered, pointing forwards. "BACK TO MY EVIL LABORATORY!! WHERE MY EXPERIMENTS SHALL CONTINUE AND I CAN _DESTROY _CALVIN! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

"Despite the fact that you just finished saving him."

"SHUT UP!!! TO YELLOWSTONE!!!"

The police car roared across the street, towards Yellowstone National Park.

* * *

Mother Brainstorm had all of the basic characteristics of the Brainstorm family. 

She was wearing a lab coat with a black shirt underneath, along with red gloves, black pants, brown sneakers, and of course, red hair that was sticking straight up into the air and ending in spikes as if she had been electrocuted. She was a very large woman, and was probably capable of inflicting major physical harm if she wanted to.

She looked around, then her eyes fell on Sheila, who was still tied up on the ground, screaming for mercy.

"YOU!" She shouted, jabbing a finger at Sheila "I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU!! WHERE WERE YOU!!! YOU'VE BEEN AWAY FOR MONTHS!! _DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR OWN MOTHER?!?!?_"

Family traits.

Sheila looked at Mrs Brainstorm uneasily.

"I, uh..."

"I ORDER YOU TO GET IN HERE AT ONCE!! AND WHERE'S FRANKLIN!!!"

Sheila thought for a moment.

Then, a wide, evil grin spread across her face.

"OK, mother," She said, quietly. "release me from my bonds and I will enter your establishment."

"GET OUT OF THEM YOURSELF!!!" Mrs Brainstorm screeched. "WHERE HAVE I GONE WRONG WITH YOU CHILDREN?!?! _YOU CAN'T EVEN GET YOURSELF UNTIED?!?!_"

Sheila blinked.

Mrs Brainstorm waited, impatiently, as Sheila struggled with the ropes, and finally got free.

"NOW GET IN HERE!!!" Mrs Brainstorm shrieked, storming into the house.

Sheila hesitated, then walked into the house.

Mrs Brainstorm's house was cram packed with inventions.

Sheila looked around.

She reached for a small display case on one of the stands.

"DON'T TOUCH!!!" Mrs Brainstorm shrieked, angrily.

Sheila reeled back.

"NOW!!! ON THE FLOOR AND GIVE ME TWENTY!!!" Mother Brainstorm ordered.

Sheila looked around.

"Uhh..."

"_DO IT!!!_" Mother Brainstorm shrieked.

Sheila dropped onto the floor, and starting pushing herself up and down, rapidly.

Mrs Brainstorm crossed her arms and waited.

After the twentieth push up, Sheila sat up, and wiped some sweat from her brow.

"THAT TOOK YOU TWENTY SEVEN SECONDS!!!" Mother Brainstorm screeched. "_DO IT QUICKER, NEXT TIME!!!!!_"

"Yes, Mother," Sheila muttered.

"NOW WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!?!" Mother Brainstorm screamed. "_I DEMAND TO KNOW!!! __**OUT WITH IT!!!!**_"

"Um, well... Frank dropped me off..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FRANK DROPPED YOU OFF!!! WHY DIDN'T HE COME VISIT ME!!!_** WHAT IS **_**WRONG**_** WITH YOU CHILDREN?!?!?**_"

Sheila cut her eyes from side to side.

"He had to finish filling out all the papers." She said, finally, crossing her arms.

Mother Brainstorm stared at her.

"What?!?!" She demanded.

"Yeah, the papers." Sheila lied. "Didn't you know?"

"_KNOW WHAT?!?!?!_"

"Frank's getting ready to put you in a home."

There was a long moment of silence.

Which, basically, is a big event in the Mrs Brainstorm household.

Mother Brainstorm stared Sheila for a long time.

Then, her eyes narrowed to slits.

"We're going to Yellowstone." She growled.

* * *

One month later, everything had started turning back to normal in the Calvin and Hobbes household. 

Well, as normal as things could get to be more accurate.

Calvin was sitting on his bed, talking to the MTM, and Hobbes was sitting at Calvin's desk, reading a comic book.

Hobbes was paying no attention to Calvin the MTM's conversation, as he continued to read his Captain Napalm comic book.

Suddenly, Calvin turned to Hobbes.

"Hobbes?"

"Hmm?" Hobbes asked, looking up from his comic book.

"MTM tells me that you're starting loose faith in him!"

"Him?" Hobbes asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, and I believe that's totally rude." MTM said.

"What makes you say that?" Hobbes asked.

"I scanned your brain waves." MTM yawned.

"You what?!" Hobbes yelled, reeling back in horror.

"Well what am I supposed to do?" MTM demanded. "Your constantly bombarding me with brain waves! what do you expect me to do with them?"

"You _read_ my mind?!" Hobbes yelled, clutching his chest.

"Well, some people may call it that, but I like to refer to it as Brain Energy Scanner." MTM replied.

"Calvin, when did you install _that_ feature into the MTM?!" Hobbes yelled in horror.

"Hobbes, the MTM has always been able to do that." Calvin said.

"_WHY?!?_" Hobbes demanded.

"Well, if you had the ability to install a brain scanner into a CD player what would you do?" Calvin asked, defensively.

"How much do you know?" Hobbes questioned, turning to the MTM.

"Oh, come off it." MTM said. "Do you think I hold on to every single brain wave I get? I only keep the important ones and toss the others away."

"You kept me thinking that your useless?" Hobbes growled.

"Well, if I was insulting you constantly, would _you_ forget them?" MTM demanded.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Uhhh, forget I said that," MTM said, slowly. "The point is that I am in fact _not_ useless."

"Yeah, Hobbes, come on!" Calvin said. "Don't you remember all the times that the MTM has saved us?"

"Compared to the several million times its nearly killed us?" Hobbes asked.

"Oh, let's not throw mud like that." MTM said, smoothly.

"Listen, Hobbes," Calvin sighed. "The way you act, you'd think that my inventions did _nothing_ but kill us. Do you know how many times we could have been killed but the MTM saved us?"

"No." Hobbes said.

"What about all the times Rupert and Earl have attacked us?" Calvin said, raising an eyebrow. "What saved us?"

"Nothing, as far as I know." Hobbes replied.

Calvin and the MTM sighed.

* * *

Dr Brainstorm stood at his computer, pushing buttons, and checking on things on his invention. 

He and Jack had long since returned to Yellowstone, and both had practically forgotten Sheila.

They had returned to their regular routine.

"I'VE DONE IT, JACK!!!" Brainstorm screamed, wheeling around from his computer. "NOTHING CAN GO WRONG NOW!!! _I'M A GENIUS!!!!_"

"Uh huh." Jack said, who was sitting in the lab's lounge chairs, reading a magazine. "Give me a second to call 911 before you turn it on."

Brainstorm glared at him.

"Har har." He growled. "I'll have you know everything is fool proof, this time!"

"Uh huh," Jack said, picking a cell phone off a desk next to him.

"JACK!! PUT THAT PHONE DOWN!!!!" Brainstorm hollered. "I'M _NOT_ GONNA KILL MYSELF, AGAIN!!!!"

"That's nice." Jack said, turning the phone on.

Brainstorm grabbed the phone away from him, and turned it off.

"Ya know, the last time I called them, yesterday, they knew it was you." Jack said. "I was so proud."

"SHUT UP!!!" Brainstorm screamed. "Every time you call them, we have to leave the lab or they'll find us!! _DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF HORRORS WOULD OCCUR IF THEY FOUND OUR SECRET HIDEOUT?!?!?!?_"

"Frank, we're underneath Old Faithful." Jack sighed. "We're right in front of a never dwindling crowd."

Brainstorm growled, and turned back to his computer.

Then, suddenly, his eyes lit up.

He whirled back to Jack.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!!!**_" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Then, he spun back to the computer.

Jack sighed and shook his head.

There was a long moment of silence, interrupted only by Brainstorm typing on his keyboard.

Suddenly, the lab started shaking.

"WHOA!!" Brainstorm shouted, the force throwing him off his seat.

Jack was tossed from his lounge chair, and the desk was knocked over as the shaking rumbled out through the whole lab.

"EARTH QUAKE!!" Brainstorm screamed. "TAKE COVER!!!"

"Are you sure its just not your inventions blowing?" Jack asked, calmly.

"_I SAID TAKE COVER!!!!_" Brainstorm screamed.

The mad scientist then leaped under his desk, and covered his head.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Of course, we could always just activate the Earth Field." He said, reaching over, and pushing a button on the wall.

Slowly, the shaking stopped.

Brainstorm looked around.

"Just checking, but why did you call it an Earth Field?" Jack inquired, raising his eyebrow.

Brainstorm glared at him, and looked up at the monitors.

"That's odd..." He began.

He stood up, and began typing into the monitor.

"There wasn't any shifting in the Earth's plates! That wasn't an earth quake..."

"NO!!! IT WAS ME!!!" Shouted a shrill voice from behind Brainstorm and Jack.

The scientist and robot spun around, and stared into the doorway.

Mother Brainstorm was standing in the entrance way to the kitchen, glaring daggers at Brainstorm and Jack.

Jack turned to Brainstorm.

"Oh and by the way, we have a security breach." He said, blandly.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"Thanks a lot," he growled.

"YOU!!! FRANKLIN J. BRAINSTORM!!!!" Mother Brainstorm screamed, jabbing a finger at Brainstorm.

"Yes, Mommy...?" Brainstorm whimpered, shrinking back.

"HOW COULD YOU PUT YOUR OWN MOTHER IN A HOME!! _WHAT KIND OF HEARTLESS BRUTE ARE YOU?!?!?_"

Jack rolled his eyes.

Brainstorm stared at his mother.

"What?" He asked, confused. "Where's Sheila?"

Mother Brainstorm whipped around.

"SHEILA!!!_GET IN HERE!!!_" She screamed.

There was a pause.

"I'm sensing extreme levels of insanity from this person, uh, can I leave?" Jack asked, turning to Brainstorm.

Brainstorm gave him a murderous glare.

"I guess not." Jack said, turning back to Brainstorm's mother.

Slowly, Sheila stepped into the room.

Mother Brainstorm wheeled back to Frank.

"SHEILA INFORMED ME THE SECOND YOU DROPPED HER OFF THAT YOU WERE SIGNING THE PAPERS TO PUT ME IN A HOME!!! _HOW COULD YOU?!?!?_"

Brainstorm and Jack stared at her.

"_What?!_" They both demanded in unison.

"YES SHE DID!!!!" Mother Brainstorm screeched. "AND WE CAME OVER HERE AS SOON AS I HEARD!!!!"

"That was nearly six weeks ago!" Jack said.

Mother Brainstorm jabbed a finger at Jack.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, _ROBOT__** SCUM!!**_" She shrieked.

"I'm getting really tired of that label." Jack growled, crossing his arms.

"Mother, that _was_ a month ago." Brainstorm said, timidly. "Why did it take you so long to get here?"

"Her car ran out of gas and she didn't want to pay for more." Sheila grumbled. "_WHAT'S IT TO YOU?!?!?!?_"

Jack leaned against the wall, and rubbed his head.

"Oh god..." He groaned. "Three Brainstorm's in one room. I don't know if my software can take it."

"But, Mother, I would never put you in a home! Sheila lied!!" Brainstorm accused.

"YOU LIE!!!!" Mother Brainstorm screeched. "YOU'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR MONTHS!!!! LURE ME INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY AND THEN HAVE THEM COME AND TAKE ME!!! _YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D INFILTRATE YOUR PLAN DID YOU?!?! __**DID YOU?!?!**_"

"But I..."

"AND FURTHERMORE THIS LABORATORY IS A DISGRACE!!! IS THIS HOW I'VE BROUGHT YOU CHILDREN UP?!?! _YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE A PARTICLE DISINTEGRATOR RAY!!!_"

Brainstorm and Jack exchanged glances.

"Well, can't argue with you, there." Jack said.

Brainstorm's eyes slammed shut.

Sheila cut her eyes from side to side.

Mother Brainstorm was too busy screaming at Dr Brainstorm to notice her. Dr Brainstorm was too busy cowering before her to notice her, and Jack was too busy watching the situation in silent entertainment to notice her.

Oops.

A wide grin spread across her face.

Very quickly, she slipped out of the Main Lab and into the kitchen.

She crept through the kitchen into the launching room where Brainstorm kept his rocket.

She cast an evil grin back towards the chaos in the Main Lab, then opened up the rocket door.

She climbed inside, and slammed it shut.

"Alien boy who calls yourself Calvin, _YOUR GOING DOWN!!!_" She cackled, revving the engine up.

Uh oh...

* * *

"I just can't believe you, Hobbes," Calvin said, as he lead Hobbes outside. "The MTM is the most reliable of all my inventions." 

Hobbes stared at him.

"You act like your _other _inventions are reliable." He said, finally.

Calvin glared at him, as he pulled the wagon out from in front of the car.

"OK, Hobbes, if you don't think the MTM is safe then let's do a little experiment." He said.

Hobbes' eyes went from the MTM in Calvin's hands to the wagon and back to the MTM.

A light came on in his eyes.

"AAAAAAAAUGH!!!!" He screamed, whirling around, and racing back towards the house.

"MTM, force field." Calvin said, blankly.

"Gladly." MTM replied.

Hobbes raced up the stairs towards the front door.

Suddenly, he ran straight into an invisible wall, and stopped.

"NO!!" Hobbes shouted, banging against the force field. "NO!! I WANT TO LIVE!! PLEASE DON'T!!"

Calvin came walking up to Hobbes, staring at him with a bored expression, still holding the MTM.

"PLEASE HAVE MERCY!!" Hobbes begged. "I'm the son of my advices! I have my struggles! My pains! My hobbies! I want to live! I want live! I want to live and love and learn and..."

"Hobbes..." Calvin growled, rolling his eyes.

"What?" Hobbes asked.

"I'm going to use the MTM's coordination system to steer us down Sneer Hill in the wagon."

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh..." He began.

"Well, here come more unnecessary brain wave insults at me." MTM sighed.

"Oh come on you insult us on a daily basis."

"Yeah, that's true." MTM admitted. "So are we going to do this or not you brainless, overbearing, freaks?"

Calvin and Hobbes glared at the MTM.

"Yep, there's more of them." The CD player said.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sheila had just arrived at Calvin's neighborhood. 

She flew the rocket high above the clouds, examining various screens and radar, and looking around.

"Hmm," She said, looking out of the ship. "All sensors indicate that the alien boy is straight down below me. TAKE ME DOWN!!"

Sheila grabbed a lever and yanked it forward.

Suddenly, the rocket stopped, and did a nose dive into the clouds.

She glared down at the neighborhood, looking for Calvin's house.

"Computer find him!" She ordered. "FIND HIM!!!! FIND HIM NOW!! NOW, I TELL YOU!!! WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?!?!?!?"

"Searching." A automated voice replied.

Sheila glared at the machinery around her.

"Specified persons found." The computer said, suddenly.

Sheila looked up.

"Open visual." She ordered. "_I SAID OPEN VISUAL!!!! _WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!?!"

Suddenly, one of the screens went blank, and a picture of the United States came up.

The monitor zoomed in on one particular state, onto one particular town, onto one particular neighborhood, then onto one particular house.

"Locked on!" She said.

"Confirmed." The computer said.

Sheila grinned evilly.

"_FIRE!!!!!_" She shouted, slamming her fist into a big red button in the middle of the console.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were at the top of Sneer Hill with the MTM. 

"Okay," said Calvin. "By using the MTM, we should be able to get down Sneer Hill without any crashes, without falling off any cliffs, and no more falling into the river."

"Right," said Hobbes. "We'll instead be blown to pieces by a bomb."

"Hobbes, don't be ridiculous!" Calvin sighed. "The MTM doesn't have bombs! It is lasers or nothing!"

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes, that is so!"

"Then what's that?" Hobbes asked, pointing at the sky.

Calvin looked up and stared.

A missile was heading straight for them.

There was a pause.

"ACTIVATE THE TURBO DRIVE!" Calvin screamed.

There was another pause.

Calvin glared at Hobbes.

"That's _you_, numbskull!" he yelled.

"Oh, right."

Hobbes got out and got the wagon going down the hill, and once they had enough speed, he jumped back in.

The missile hit the ground where they had once been…

…but it didn't blow up.

It was just a giant hunk of middle of the ground.

What do you expect? It's Dr Brainstorm's bomb.

Calvin and Hobbes rocketed down the hill.

Calvin was trying to steer desperately.

"Hobbes, I'm gonna need you to listen to the MTM's coordinates so that we can get out of here alright!" he shouted, handing Hobbes the CD player.

Hobbes stared at MTM.

"What's up, dude?" MTM said cheerfully.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"How do I follow coordinates?" he asked.

"I'll talk you through it," MTM replied. "Bearing three-niner-three degrees northwest."

Hobbes raised an eyebrow.

MTM sighed.

"Turn left," MTM translated.

"Turn left!" Hobbes screamed.

Calvin jerked the handle to the left.

The wagon tipped slightly as it swerved around a tree.

"Turn towards that log over there!" MTM said.

Calvin turned the wagon over a log that drove over a ditch.

A second not-blowing-up bomb landed on the log a second after they left, snapping it in two.

"Turn towards that hill," MTM ordered.

Calvin turned towards a slope that went up a little bit.

However, once they reached the top, they found the hill was long way down and ended in a cliff.

"Huh," said Calvin. "I think we've found the setting for the next Winter Olympics Ski Division."

"I hate you," Hobbes muttered.

The wagon suddenly regained speed and plunged down the steep hill.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" they screamed.

"Sissies," MTM muttered.

They reached the jump and flew into the air.

"MOMMY!" Hobbes screamed.

As they soared into the sky, Calvin grabbed MTM.

"MTM! WHY'D YOU TELL US TO GO DOWN THAT HILL?!" he screamed.

"Well, I figured you were curious who was firing those missiles," MTM replied. "The only way to get a good look would be to go up in the air. And I was picking up some mind waves from this direction. We're getting closer."

"How close are we?"

_**CLANG!**_

Calvin and Hobbes looked around.

They had landed on top of a rocket.

They stared into the cockpit windows.

Sheila was glaring back at them.

"Oh, look," said Hobbes. "The greater of two evils."

Sheila grinned evilly and turned the rocket to the left.

The wagon slid off.

Calvin and Hobbes plummeted back to the Earth.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" they screamed.

Fortunately, they landed in a tree, and bounced off branches all the way down until they finally hit the ground.

"D'OH!" Hobbes moaned. "My poor rear!"

"Forget you butt, Hobbes!" Calvin cried. "Sheila Brainstorm is back!"

Then he pulled MTM back out.

"MTM, we need a fast way out of here!" he ordered.

"Uh-huh," MTM replied. "Activating Fan Feature."

Hobbes attached MTM to the rear of the wagon.

MTM opened up and a giant fan came out.

The force from the wind pushed them forward very quickly.

Calvin managed to steer the wagon and avoid rocks and trees and bushes.

Up above, Sheila was steering the rocket back around and closer towards them.

"Ah-ha!" she said. "Alien boy, your days are numbered! Fire! ATTACK! SHOOT SOMETHING PAINFUL AT THEM! _OBEY ME!_"

The rocket fired another missile at Calvin and Hobbes.

"_WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME DECENT SERVICE AROUND HERE?!?_" she roared. "HONESTLY! YOU MAKE KINKOS LOOK DECENT!"

A giant missile came in low.

Calvin quickly swerved out of its path to avoid it.

"ACK!" Hobbes cried.

_**WHAM!**_

The giant hunk of metal hit the ground, showering them in the clumps of dirt and grass.

"I'm going to be preening for weeks after this!" Hobbes wailed.

"Forget that!" Calvin shouted. "MTM! Which way do I go?"

MTM scanned the area.

"Keep going straight ahead to the fork in the path and make a left," he instructed.

Calvin did so.

Once they arrived at a fork in the path, Calvin immediately hung a left.

This path, predictably enough, took them to another cliff which sent them sailing off the edge and into a lake at the bottom.

_**KASPLOOSH!**_

When everyone emerged in the lake, Calvin and Hobbes glared at MTM, who was sitting in the floating wagon.

MTM paused.

"Or was it to the right…?" he pondered. "Oh! I'm sorry. I was looking at the map upside down."

Hobbes collapsed in the lake, exhausted.

"We're dead," he moaned.

"Not yet," Calvin said, grabbing the wagon and pulling it back to shore. "We just need to get going back on track again, okay?"

Hobbes didn't reply. He just lay there.

"Okay, fine," Calvin sighed. "Don't come with me. Say hi to the blood-sucking leeches for me."

Hobbes immediately leapt from the lake and tore up to the shore and back into the wagon Calvin was pulling.

"Nice to see a change in attitude there," Calvin grinned.

Hobbes grumbled as Calvin towed them away into the forest.

* * *

Back at Yellowstone, things were getting worse. 

Dr Brainstorm and Jack had taken to hiding under a table while Mother Brainstorm stormed around the place, knocking things over and screaming.

"YOU'RE A HORRIBLE SON!" she hollered. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN MOTHER?! YOU'RE CRUEL! YOU'RE HEARTLESS! YOU'RE NOT MY SON! I_ HAVE_ NO SON! IS THIS THE ONLY KIND OF PIE YOU HAVE?! YOU'RE CHEAP AS WELL!"

There was a pause as she clearly started eating the pie.

Jack sighed.

"I take it she needs more screaming fuel," he said.

Brainstorm only nodded.

"This is going to take forever to clean up," he muttered. "Stupid Sheila. When I get my hands on her…"

Then he noticed something.

"Speaking of which, where _is_ that demon of a sister of mine?" he asked, looking around.

"Eh, I think she decided to leave awhile ago. I didn't think it mattered," Jack replied.

"WHERE'S THE MILK IN THIS PATHETIC LAB?! OH! HERE IT IS! NEVERMIND!"

They listened to her chug the milk jug.

"Oh, that figures," Brainstorm muttered. "I just bought that jug of milk this morning!"

Jack sighed again.

"Frank, we need to do something," he groaned. "I can't stand the very thought of taking much of more of this."

"Dr Brainstorm!" Brainstorm hissed angrily. "And I agree! We must stand up to my mother!"

"AH! TURKEY! FINALLY! WHY DIDN'T YOU COME HOME FOR THANKSGIVING?! I WAS ALL ALONE ON THANKSGIVING!"

Then they listened to her eating the turkey.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Let's do it now. She's gonna eat us out of lab and home!"

Brainstorm nodded.

They crawled out from under the table.

They saw Mother Brainstorm sitting at the table, her facing buried in a giant turkey.

They carefully approached from the rear.

"Mother…?" Brainstorm asked slowly.

Mrs. Brainstorm looked up.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO! YOU CAN'T SEND ME TO A HOME!"

"Mother, may I just remind of a time when Sheila lied to you about that ding in your car?"

"YES, I REMEMBER IT VIVIDLY!!"

"Okay, and then there was the time that Sheila lied to you about going out with that jerk of a man that one time."

"I REMEMBER THAT AS WELL!"

"Good, and remember that time she lied to you about that money she stole from your purse?"

"I REMEMBER A LOT OF THINGS, FRANKLIN! WHY ARE YOU ASKING? DO YOU BELIEVE I AM LOSING MY MEMORY?! _I'M NOT THAT OLD, YOU KNOW!!_"

Jack wiped his face clear of the spit that had struck him.

"Well, Mother, I'm trying to remind you of Sheila, and the fact that she was always the liar in the family. I mean, I know we're evil, but Sheila was always the one who would lie to get her way," Brainstorm said.

"AND WHAT'S YOUR POINT?!" Mother Brainstorm screamed.

"Well, who was it that said I was putting you in a home?"

"SHEILA!"

"And what is Sheila known for doing?"

"LYING!"

There was an incredibly lengthy silence.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack stared at her, waiting for that little light to come on.

Then Mother Brainstorm's eyes grew wide in realization, and then narrowed again in fury.

"Get in the car, son," she growled.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were swerving the wagon around several more times. 

They dodged trees and bushes.

Several more not-working missiles landed behind them.

"It's no good!" Hobbes screamed. "We're not going to survive!"

"Maybe we should abandon ship," Calvin wailed.

"No," said MTM. "Use that log over there."

Calvin looked further down the path.

There was a giant hollow log that stretched out across a deep ravine.

"We can hide in there. We'll be out of her sensors," MTM explained.

"What?!" Hobbes shouted. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

There was a pause.

"Let's do it!" Calvin yelled.

Hobbes slapped his forehead in frustration.

Calvin, aiming carefully, drove the wagon into the log.

It was just big enough for Hobbes if he bent his head down a little bit.

And of course, with Brainstorm's pathetic excuse of a rocket, the sensors were unable to penetrate hollow wood, and therefore, Sheila lost track of them.

"WHAT?!?" she shouted. "WHERE'D THEY GO?! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!_ HOW DARE THEY!?!_"

Deciding that it was useless to continue, she found a place to land the rocket.

Once it was on the ground, she started looking around the area.

Calvin, Hobbes and MTM were hidden in the log, watching her quietly.

"I've got an idea," MTM whispered.

Despite Hobbes' silent pleas for him to ignore him, Calvin placed the MTM outside and on top of the log.

MTM saw Sheila, who was facing away.

"Oy!" MTM called.

Sheila jumped and whipped around.

All she saw was a CD player.

"WHO SAID THAT?!" she shouted. "WHO ARE YOU?!_ SHOW YOURSELF!_"

"I_am_ shown," MTM replied.

Sheila stared at him.

"Ah! The machine, it speaks!" she wailed.

"Yo."

Sheila pulled out a ray gun.

"That doesn't work," MTM said casually.

"OH REALLY?! Just watch."

She pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

"Really," MTM said satisfied.

"Well, I'll have you know that I've made _far_ better inventions than this!"

"No you haven't. You're lying."

"I am not! I'M A GENIUS!"

"No you're not. You haven't got a clue. You're useless."

"SHUT UP! YOU KNOW NOTHING!"

"I know you lied to your mum about your brother sticking her in a home so that they'd both be distracted and you could attack us. Am I right?"

Sheila smirked.

"Wrong, actually. Wrong, wrong, wrong! You're so _overflowing_ with wrongness! Totally and utterly _wrong!_" she said, grinning madly.

"IS THAT SO?!?" a shrill voice yelled.

Sheila froze. She whirled around in horror.

Mother Brainstorm was standing there, one hand on her hip, and the other holding a slice of pizza, with Dr Brainstorm and Jack standing behind her.

Mother Brainstorm glared angrily at her daughter.

"I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!!" she roared, angrily approached Sheila, who nervously backed away. "YOU'RE A SCUM-SUCKING LYING LITTLE GIRL, AREN'T YOU?! HOW DARE YOU LIE TO MY FACE, AND IN MY OWN HOME TOO?!"

"Mother, I was just—"

"DON'T GIVE ME ANYMORE LIES, YOU LITTLE DECIEVER! I WANT YOU TO GO TO YOUR BROTHER'S LAB AND CLEAN UP THE MESS I MADE WHILE I WAS YELLING AT HIM! THEN, WHEN WE GET HOME, I WANT YOU TO DO EVERYTHING I TELL YOU FOR A FULL WEEK!!"

Calvin and Hobbes had climbed out of the log, and they were now watching Sheila getting yelled at.

"YOU'LL MOW THE LAWN! YOU'LL DO THE GROCERY SHOPPING! YOU'LL SCRUB THE FLOORS! YOU'LL CLIP MY THICK YELLOW TOENAILS! _YOU'LL BE WATCHING DAYTIME TALK SHOWS WITH ME!!!_"

"But Mother, I was only trying to kill the alien boy!" Sheila wailed.

"WHAT ALIEN BOY?!" Mother Brainstorm hollered.

Then she noticed Calvin and Hobbes standing near the log. They waved hello.

"HIM!" Sheila hollered. "ALIEN! ROBOT! TALKING CD PLAYER! _EVIL!_"

Mother Brainstorm glanced at Calvin and Hobbes again.

They merely shrugged.

Then she glanced over at Brainstorm and Jack.

They simply shook their heads.

Mother Brainstorm glared at her daughter.

"COME ALONG!" she yelled, grabbing Sheila and dragging her away. "YOU'RE GOING TO FIX EVERYTHING IN YOUR BROTHER'S LAB! WE'VE GOT A FULL TANK OF GAS! WE'LL BE THERE SOON!"

Then she turned to Dr Brainstorm and Jack.

"YOU TWO! GET ON WITH IT!"

Brainstorm sighed.

"Yes, Mother," he said, starting to follow.

Then he remembered Calvin and Hobbes. He turned back to face them.

"Oh right. DARN YOU and stuff," he said, trying to save face.

Then he walked away.

Jack waved goodbye to them and got into the car with the Brainstorm family.

Calvin and Hobbes waved goodbye.

The car screeched away.

They heard Mother Brainstorm scream, "WHY ARE THESE SEATBELTS SO SHORT?!"

They rolled their eyes.

"Well, that was interesting," Calvin sighed.

"Yeah," said Hobbes. "At least Brainstorm has an _excuse_ for being stupid."

Then they turned to MTM.

"Excellent job, MTM," Calvin said. "I believe you just saved our bacon."

"Right on, dudes," MTM replied.

Then Calvin looked at Hobbes.

"Well…?" he asked. "Hobbes, what do we say?"

Hobbes sighed.

"Fine," he groaned. "MTM, I'm sorry I insulted you, both vocally and mentally."

"Apology accepted, Hobbes," MTM replied.

"Wait, that's not it!" Calvin said angrily. "I meant apologize to me for insulting my ability to invent!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

* * *

Later that evening at Yellowstone, down in the lab, Sheila was busily cleaning the lab floors with a toothbrush. 

Dr Brainstorm was standing over her angrily.

Jack and Mother Brainstorm were sitting in front of the TV, drinking lemonade.

"STOP!" Brainstorm shouted angrily.

Sheila glared at him.

"YOU'VE MISSED A SPOT! CLEAN IT AT ONCE!" he ordered.

"I'LL CLEAN IT WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT!" Sheila shouted back.

"DO IT NOW!"

"NO!"

"_BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!!!_"

"Yes, mother," they both said.

Mother Brainstorm shook her head and resumed watching TV with Jack.

"Those kids of mine," she sighed.

"They'll grow up at some point," Jack replied reassuringly.

They both clinked their glasses and settled in.

**The End**

**Voice Work:**

**Pamela Segall Adlon: **Calvin  
**Tom Hanks: **Hobbes  
**Ryan Stiles **Socrates _(Archive footage)_  
**Andrew Lawrence **Andy _(Archive footage)_  
**Neil Crone: **Dr Brainstorm  
**Michael Brandon: **Jack  
**Norman Lovett: **MTM  
**Bridget Nelson: **Sheila Brainstorm  
**Mary Jo Pehl: **Mother Brainstorm

* * *

**Coming up next: **62 Percent More Evil 


	21. 62 Percent More Evil

**Summary: **After Dr Brainstorm discovers an 'EVIL' on / off switch on Jack, he flips it, and turns Jack into a viscous predator.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**62 Percent More Evil**

It was a day of doing absolutely nothing at Yellowstone National Park.

While on the surface, people were communicating and enjoying themselves, about mile below the ground, Jack T Robot was just sitting around ignoring the world and enjoying himself.

So far, he had ignored everything that Dr Brainstorm had told him to do.

Right now, he was sitting in a comfy chair and watching television.

Dr Brainstorm entered from behind and glared down at him from behind the chair.

"And just what are _you_ doing?" he demanded, clearly annoyed.

"Eh, just watching Colin take another bald joke," Jack replied in a bored tone. "And what of yourself?"

"I've nearly completed work on my latest invention," Brainstorm snorted, holding up a compact metallic device with a blue button on it. "I'll bet you're wondering what it does!"

"You wanna place a wager?" Jack asked.

Brainstorm paused.

"Uh, sure. How much?"

"Ten bucks."

"Deal!"

There was a pause.

"Are you wondering what my invention does?" Brainstorm asked at last.

"No. I win."

Dr Brainstorm growled and handed Jack the money.

Jack took it and resumed watching the show.

"Anyway, I'm currently testing out my new heat-seeker! It focuses on carbon-based life forms and destroys them! It's_ GENIUS!_" he said, punching the air with his fist.

"So…wouldn't it destroy you?" Jack asked.

Brainstorm put his arm down and stared at him.

"Huh?" he asked.

"Well, aren't _you_ a carbon-based life form?"

"Um…yes."

There was a pause.

"Oh, right. WELL, THANKS A TON, JACK!! YOU'VE RUINED AN OTHERWISE_ GENIUS_ PLAN! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!!" Brainstorm shouted.

"Actually, I'm not," Jack said.

"OH?!_WHY NOT?!_"

"Because you're talking through my show!"

"OH, AM I?! OH, WELL PARDON ME!! _I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT AROUND HERE!_ You know why? Because _I PAY THE BILLS AROUND HERE!!_"

Jack sighed, rubbing his temple.

"_What_ bills?" he demanded. "We don't have to pay bills because we're not living off the government! The lab provides anything we'd ever need!"

"Oh,_DETAILS!_ I STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT SODA YOU'RE DRINKING!!"

Jack responded by turning the volume up on the show.

"Ah-ha!" Brainstorm crowed. "Can't think of a comeback to that one! I'd showed _you!_ I'll be in my trailer!"

And with that, Brainstorm stormed away.

"You don't _have_ a trailer, Frank," Jack replied.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!!**_"

* * *

Later that day, Calvin and Hobbes were sitting in the tree house. 

"This annual meeting of the greatest club in the universe, **GROSS**, (**G**ET** R**ID** O**F** S**LIMY GIRL**S**) is now called to order, Dictator-for-Life Calvin and President and First Tiger Hobbes presiding!" Calvin announced, putting his newspaper hat on.

"Hear, hear!" Hobbes said, putting his own hat on.

"Thank you! To kick off the meeting, Secretary Hobbes shall review the minutes from the previous meeting."

"Thank you," said Hobbes, taking out a notepad. "10:00 AM: Meeting called to order. 10:01 AM: Minutes of previous meeting read. 10:02 AM: Plans are made to ambush the enemy, Susie Derkins. 10:04 AM: President Hobbes makes innocent comment about the enemy's good looks. 10:05 AM: Dictator-for-Life Calvin presents President with possible demotion and demerits. 10:09 AM: Following Dictator-for-Life's rantings, President calls Dictator-for-Life's loyalties into question. 10:10 AM: Dictator-for-Life blows President a raspberry. 10:11 AM: President offers a more dignified approach to the situation. 10:12 AM: President makes 'kissy' noises. 10:13 AM: Private debate is held. 3:23 PM: Bandages administered. Promotions and medals are awarded to all parties. Meeting is adjourned. End of minutes."

"Excellent," said Calvin. "Now then, on to Dictator-for-Life Calvin with our game plan for the day."

Hobbes saluted, and then sat down.

"Gentlemen, today's mission is of the utmost importance," Calvin said, looking dead serious. "Today, the enemy has been seen performing an unthinkable and intolerable ceremony known as a _tea party_. She is holding some chocolate chip cookies captive, and they are in danger of being eaten. It is our _mission_ to rescue these cookies and take them for our own! Do we all agree?"

"Aye!" said Hobbes, saluting.

"Very good, gentlemen," Calvin said, grinning. "We shall now initiate the mission! Let's move out!"

Calvin and Hobbes shook hands and removed their hats, quickly climbing down.

* * *

Jack had finally finished his show and was now at the fridge pulling out another can of soda. 

Dr Brainstorm was in the next room, trying his hardest to perfect the compact heat-seeker.

"Stupid robot…," he was muttering as he worked, "…he thinks I can't do anything, does he?"

"Correct," Jack said, not looking up.

"He thinks he knows _everything_, does he?" Brainstorm continued to mutter, not noticing.

"Well, I contain a great deal of knowledge that exceeds most people I know."

"Well,_I'll_ show him!"

"I can't wait to see it."

"I'll teach him what a _true_ genius is!"

"You've already taught me, and I know its not you."

Dr Brainstorm whipped around in shock.

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING, YOU EVESDROPPER?!" he demanded.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"I don't have time for this," he muttered.

Brainstorm glared.

"Why didn't I get the evil robot I wanted instead of this lazy bum?" he grumbled.

Jack didn't hear him.

Infuriated by this, Brainstorm punched his heat-seeker hard.

This was a mistake.

Suddenly, the settings changed on the small screen.

It switched from saying "carbon-based" to "metallic".

_**BRZAP!**_

Brainstorm jumped aside and watched as the blast nailed Jack in the back of the head.

_DING!_

Jack was slammed into the wall, spilling soda everywhere.

Brainstorm watched the robot stand there, almost flattened into the wall.

"Whoops," he said sheepishly. "I think I'll put this away."

As Brainstorm took the ray gun away and put it in the next room, Jack continued to stand there.

Then, finally, he pulled his face out of the wall.

"Oooh…," he moaned, rubbing the back of his head.

Then he noticed one of the screws on the top of his head was now at an angle. He couldn't see it, but that particular screw was actually a switch. It read ON at the top, and OFF at the bottom. It was now switched towards ON.

Suddenly, Jack felt a little strange. The features on his face switched from bored to angry. His fingers suddenly grew sharper. His eyes became red. A ray gun suddenly popped out of his arm.

Jack looked at himself in the mirror.

"Hmmm…," he pondered. "It's nice, but it needs a beret."

Just then, there was a surge of electricity that flew through his system, and he now felt a little different.

Dr Brainstorm, who had heard some noise, went outside to see what had happened.

"Jack…?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

Jack didn't respond. Then, his head turned. It was kind of like the Exorcist.

Brainstorm looked nervous now.

"Jack T Robot…," Jack whispered, "…is _reborn_."

"Huh?"

Jack suddenly let out a loud noise.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!" he shrieked.

Dr Brainstorm covered his ears and stared.

Jack suddenly looked excited.

"Ooh, new voice!" he cackled. "Hello!"

Dr Brainstorm backed away.

"Listen, you filthy robot!" he ordered. "Stop this madness and settle down!"

Jack glared at him.

"Use my name…," he growled.

Brainstorm looked surprised by the new tone.

"Jack…," he said slowly. "I'm sorry about zapping your noggin."

Jack grinned.

"TOUGH!" he yelled.

Jack quickly extended his legs and took long strides across the lab.

"Man, he only uses that feature to get stuff out of the attic!" Brainstorm said, watching Jack step over him.

Jack made it to the other end of the lab and ducked into the docking hangar.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" Brainstorm ordered, running after him.

Once he arrived, he saw that Jack was starting up one of Brainstorm's rockets.

"JACK, GET BACK IN HERE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he yelled over the noise.

Jack grinned evilly at him.

He revved the engine up, and prepared for the take off.

_VROOOM!!!_

Brainstorm leaped to his feet, and began typing into his computer.

Numbers flashed across the monitor's screen.

Suddenly sparks flew from the rocket's console, and the engine began to die.

"Oooooh, no you don't!" Jack growled.

The robot grabbed several levers and pulled them forward. Then, he slammed his fist into a big red button.

The engine started back up, again.

He turned a sinister grin onto Brainstorm.

"I'll just be taking over the universe," He said, simply. "Bye, bye!"

And with that, Jack descended into an evil laugh as the rocket ascended into the air and out into the afternoon.

Brainstorm stared at the rocket as it shot away.

"Whoops again," he muttered.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were once again sitting in the treehouse again, once again wearing newspaper hats and now eating cookies. 

"The mission was a complete success, President and First Tiger Hobbes!" Calvin said, with his mouth full of cookies.

"What do we do when Susie tells on us for stealing her cookies and almost yanking her doll's head off?" Hobbes asked, sipping some milk.

"Hopefully by then, we'll be in a sugar rush so powerful that we'll be able to outrun Mom and Dad."

"Good plan."

As they ate, they heard a low rumbling from the sky.

Calvin looked around.

"Hobbes, do you see any clouds?" he asked.

Hobbes looked up and searched the sky.

"Uh…no," he said.

"Mm-hmmm. So…did you hear thunder?"

"Uh…I think so. I'm not sure now"

"Huh."

The rumbling came again.

They both looked up.

"That's just weird," Calvin declared.

"Not a cloud in the sky," Hobbes agreed.

The rumbling got a little louder.

"I'm beginning to suspect it's not thunder," Hobbes said.

"Why's that?"

"Well, there's a little dot in the sky that's just getting bigger and bigger."

Calvin looked.

There was a small dot in the sky coming closer and closer.

"Oh," he said. "Good point."

Suddenly, the dot became a lot bigger, and it suddenly looked more like a hotdog as it flew over them.

_**SHOOOM!**_

Calvin and Hobbes almost flew out of the treehouse.

Oddly enough, though, something landed in crate they were sitting in.

Hobbes picked it up.

"It looks like a bottle of spray-on cologne," he commented.

Hobbes sprayed it at Calvin.

_SSSSSSS!_

There was a pause as Calvin sat in a misty cloud.

Then he passed out.

Hobbes looked surprised.

"Calvin?" he asked.

Calvin didn't wake up.

Hobbes then stared at the can.

"Huh," he said, squinting his eyes at it.

Then he sprayed it at himself.

_SSSSSSS!_

After a brief pause, Hobbes also passed out.

For a while, nothing happened, but then, they were enveloped with a green beam, and they were suddenly abducted…

* * *

Back at the lab, Brainstorm was trying to make contact with Jack. 

"Jack, will you just pick up?!" he shouted into the microphone. "You need to settle down and be lazy! Your joints haven't moved like this in over five years! The sudden movement could cause you to collapse into itty-bitty pieces!"

There was no reply.

Brainstorm rubbed his temples.

"That's right. I never fixed the radio in the rocket," he mumbled.

_**ZZAP!**_

Brainstorm looked over to the prison cell.

Calvin and Hobbes, who were both unconscious and wearing newspaper hats, were in it now.

"Boy, he moves fast," Brainstorm commented.

* * *

Jack flew the rocket all over the world, searching for a place to start his newfound evil life. 

"The human race is so pointless," he muttered. "Everyone is screaming, fighting, taking lunch money… I think it's time for a change. World? How about a change of race?"

Jack then flew in low to a large building.

It was the _UNIVERSITY OF ADVANCED ROBOTICS_.

Landing the rocket on the roof, he jumped out, now wearing a trench coat, a giant hat and sunglasses. Once he had snuck inside, Jack began to search for some accomplices.

Then he spotted a small floating orb.

"Hmmm…," he said, pondering.

* * *

Back at home, Andy was playing a videogame in his living room when someone knocked on his door. 

Pausing it, Andy got up and answered it.

Mom was there.

"Andy, have you seen Calvin?" she asked. "I need to yell at him."

Andy shook his head.

"I haven't seen him all day," he replied.

"Huh," said Mom. "I checked his treehouse, and all I found was the bottle of deodorant."

Mom showed him the bottle.

Andy stared at it.

"Oh, I'll take that," he said. "Thank you for stopping by. We must never have lunch together."

"Oh, well, I—"

Andy slammed the door in her face.

"Shermie?" he shouted. "I need you to look at something!"

* * *

Minutes later, Andy was waiting in Sherman's lab while Sherman ran the contents of the can through an analyzer. 

"Hmmm…," Sherman said thoughtfully. "This is…interesting."

"What is it?"

"According the analyzer, this is knockout gas."

"I see."

"Yep."

"So that could mean that Calvin and Hobbes have been rendered unconscious and are currently being held in an undisclosed location?" Andy asked.

"It's a possibility, yes," Sherman replied.

"So, one would assume we should try and find out who did it."

"One second."

Sherman examined the can closer.

"Hmmmm…," he said, squinting his eyes. "It says Brainstorm Knock-Out Gas. Designed to render unconscious and keep you smelling like pine for at least two hours."

Andy thought for a bit.

"Well, I guess we'll have to go and see if we can help in any way," Andy decided.

"Either that, or we get to see a free show," Sherman replied.

"Right. I'll go get Socrates."

"Why?"

There was a pause.

"Eh, you're right. Let's go. Calvin's box is probably still in his room," Andy said.

Andy and Sherman quickly ran to Calvin's house, carefully snuck into his room, pulled the box out of the closet and quickly flew it out of the house towards Yellowstone.

* * *

Calvin's eyes drifted open. 

He looked around his surroundings.

He was in Dr Brainstorm's lab.

His eyes fell on Dr Brainstorm, who was frantically typing things into his computer keyboard.

He sat up, moaned, and rubbed his head.

"Wh–where am I?" He muttered, looking around.

Brainstorm whirled around.

"MY LAB!! _WHERE DO YOU THINK?!?!?!_" He shouted.

Brainstorm's sudden outburst woke Hobbes with a start.

"AAAUGH!! Where are we?!" He demanded looking around.

There was a pause.

"Uh, Frank? Are you 5 seconds behind me or is that just me?" Hobbes asked.

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!!!**_" Brainstorm screeched, whipping back to his computer.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Uh, OK, and what exactly are we doing here?" Calvin began.

"_THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT!!! __**NOW SHUT UP!!!**_" Brainstorm shrieked, hysterically.

Calvin and Hobbes reeled back.

Brainstorm kept typing.

"Frank, what's going on?" Hobbes growled. "We're here, and you don't know why? And where's Jack?"

Brainstorm turned a glare onto Hobbes.

"If you don't mind, _I'LL_ keep that information to _myself!!!!!_"

There was a pause.

Calvin reached into his pocket, and pulled out the MTM.

Brainstorm stared at it.

"OK, fine!" He growled. "I accidentally shot off one of my inventions at him."

Calvin and Hobbes gasped.

"Oh no!" Calvin yelled.

"Is he alright?" Hobbes demanded.

"He wasn't _hurt_ was he?!?!" Calvin shouted, holding his head in terror.

Brainstorm glared at them.

"Thanks for showing that kind of emotion to _me_ when _I_ get injured." He growled.

Calvin shrugged.

"The point is that the explosion did something, and Jack's personality suddenly changed."

"How?" Calvin asked.

"He got... well, angry." Brainstorm said.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

"Yeah, I think I'd be kind of angry too if you blasted me in the head with one of your inventions." Hobbes said.

"No, I mean... _really _angry." Brainstorm hissed. "_EVIL angry!_"

"Evil?" Calvin demanded. "What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, what happened?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't know!" Brainstorm declared, annoyed. "All I know is one moment Jack is bored, lazy and useless, and next he's blood thirsty, hostile and bent on taking over the world!"

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Uh, Frank..." Calvin started.

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!!!**_"

"Whatever. Jack does not really strike me as the 'evil' kind. Are you sure he wasn't just angry at _you?_"

Brainstorm pushed a button on his keyboard.

Suddenly, the screen roared to life, and a picture of Jack appeared on it.

He was grinning, sinisterly, and reconnecting wires on the orb with his claws.

Suddenly, the orb began glowing, and then it opened up.

Several metal arms reached out of the underside.

Each arm had something sharp and or otherwise deadly at the end.

A razor blade, a knife, a laser, a giant pair of scissors, and so on.

Jack then burst out into an evil laugh.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

"Pretty angry." Hobbes commented.

"What's... what's he doing?" Calvin stuttered.

"How am I supposed to know?" Brainstorm demanded. "But whatever it is, I don't like it! _BECAUSE I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT!!! HOW DARE HE COME UP WITH AN EVIL PLOT BEFORE I DO!!!!_"

Calvin and Hobbes rolled their eyes.

"We can help stop him!" Hobbes said. "If we..."

"Are you crazy!" Brainstorm shouted, whipping around. "I don't need help from my mortal _enemy!!!!_ I'll do this on my own! I have a planet to take over, and I'm not letting him take the glory all to himself!!"

"But..." Calvin started.

Brainstorm pushed another button on his keyboard.

_SHHHHHHHHHICK!!!_

"HEY!!" Calvin and Hobbes jumped as a giant cage fell down on top of them.

"The world is _mine_ to save!!!" Brainstorm announced. "SO I CAN TAKE OVER IT!!!"

And with that, he rushed out of the lab.

Calvin and Hobbes blinked, and looked at each other.

* * *

Jack let out a diabolical cackle as the orb floated above a small room, slicing and dicing away at nothing. 

"Perfect," He growled, evilly. "If I can reproduce this invention to a high enough number, I can lure every person on the planet to it, where they would be cut up, and I could place their brains into robotic body suits. Then machine would rule!"

_BRA-ZAAP!!_

Jack whipped around, and hissed.

Dr Brainstorm stood in a small transporter, looking around in confusion.

"Huh, it actually worked, this time," He said, puzzled.

Jack rolled his eyes.

Just then, Brainstorm spotted the robot.

"Ah! Jack, I've found you!" He shouted.

"Excellent conclusion, genius." Jack replied.

"Some things never change." Brainstorm muttered.

"I suppose you want me to stop trying to take over the planet, right?" Jack asked, crossing his arms.

"Yes I do!" Brainstorm ordered. "It's totally not fair! _I_ want to rule the world!!"

"Yes, I'm sure you do." Jack yawned. "But I'm afraid you can't stop me. Nobody can."

"Quite unoriginal, Jack!" Brainstorm said, advancing over the robot. "Are we starting to run out cute remarks?"

Jack stared at Brainstorm for a long moment.

Then, a wide grin spread across his face and his bloodshot eyes narrowed to slits.

"Frank, why don't we discus this in the next room?" He asked, silently.

He pointed at the door next to him.

"After you." He said, slyly.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"What, so you can use that fancy, shiny, glowy thing to cut me up and place my brain in a robot? _ARE YOU TOTALLY INSANE?!?!_"

"Yes," Jack replied.

"Well so am I!!" Brainstorm spat. "AND IT'S _**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!!!**_"

Jack rolled his eyes.

"OK, Brainstorm, so you've caught on to my plan. Do you still assume you're getting out of this building, alive?"

"Yes, because I have a transporter!" Brainstorm shouted. "Just watch me!!!"

Brainstorm hopped into the transporter, and pushed a button.

_BRA-ZAAP!!_

Jack yawned, and pushed a button on his arm.

_BRA-ZAAP!!_

The transporter reappeared.

Brainstorm stared at Jack for a moment.

Then, he pushed the button, again.

_BRA-ZAAP!!_

Jack pushed the button on his arm, again.

_BRA-ZAAP!!!_

Brainstorm glared at Jack, and pushed the button, again.

_BRA-ZAAP!!_

Jack pushed the button on his arm, again.

_BRA-ZAAP!!_

"WOULD YOU KNOCK THAT OFF!!!" Brainstorm shouted, storming out of the transporter and back over to Jack.

"Gladly, get in there." Jack ordered, pointing at the room.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"MAKE ME!!" He declared.

Jack sighed.

"Very well." He said.

Suddenly, a laser cannon burst out of Jack's arm, and he pointed it at Brainstorm.

Brainstorm stared at it.

"When did you get that?" He asked.

"You installed it, last Tuesday." Jack replied.

"I see..." Brainstorm considered, rubbing his chin.

Uh oh...

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin was working on Brainstorm's cage, using the MTM. 

"How's it going?" Hobbes asked.

"Almost got it." Calvin said. "I just have to cut through another three bars, and we're free."

The MTM sighed.

Suddenly, a sound reached Calvin and Hobbes' ears.

_VROOOM!!_

Then, a red light on the panel began flashing, and an automated voice rang out through the lab.

"Security breach. Security breach. Security breach. Security breach."

Calvin and Hobbes looked around.

Then, the main door slid open, and two familiar figures walked inside.

"Andy!!" Calvin and Hobbes shouted at once.

"Hi, Calvin. Hobbes." Andy said, holding a hand up.

Sherman glared at them.

"Don't bother to say hi to me or anything." He mumbled.

"What?" Hobbes asked, turning to the hamster. "Did you say something?"

Sherman growled, and hopped onto Brainstorm's panel.

He hopped onto a few buttons, and suddenly the red light died, and the voice stopped.

Then Sherman leaped onto another button.

_ZZZZZZIIIP!_

Suddenly, the cage encasing Calvin and Hobbes lifted up, and disappeared into a trap door in the ceiling.

Calvin and Hobbes watched it go.

"Well, good to know all that battery power went to waste." MTM sighed.

Calvin turned to Andy.

"But... How did you know to get here?" He asked, rubbing his head.

"We found the knock out gas with Brainstorm's logo on it." Sherman replied. "Now what's going on?"

"Yes, please. Fill us in." Andy nodded.

Calvin and Hobbes launched into the unbelievable story about the accident and Jack.

When they were done, Andy and Sherman stared at them with wide eyes.

"An... evil... _Jack?!_" Andy demanded.

"Is that possible?" Sherman asked, scratching his head.

"Apparently." Calvin shrugged. "We offered to help Frank with the situation, but he... well, trapped us in here."

"What are we going to do?" Andy asked.

"Save Brainstorm, beat Jack, and turn him back to normal." Hobbes replied.

"We don't even know where Jack _is_." Sherman said.

"The University of Advanced Robotics." MTM suddenly cut in.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman turned and stared at the machine.

"Huh?" Andy asked.

"He's at the University of Advanced Robotics." MTM repeated. "And if I'm not mistaken, a blast from my 5,000 volt electric blast may be enough to rupture his 'evil' circuit and put him back to normal, without any more danger of turning back."

"5,000 volts would kill him!" Calvin shouted.

"Not if we aimed exactly at the circuit." MTM explained. "You see, this particular circuit has been cut off from the rest of Jack since he was made. It's only now been activated. He's only been evil for, what fours hours, now? He's still within his five hour upgrade activation cycle."

Sherman's eyes popped open with realization.

"That means the circuit hasn't been fully connected, yet?" He said.

"Yes," MTM yawned. "Therefore, blasting this particular part of him before he passes his five hour period would only destroy that particular part."

"What happens if he does pass it?" Hobbes asked.

There was a pause.

"Well, then it can't be reversed." MTM said, finally.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman exchanged glances of terror.

"We have to get over to the University, right now!" Calvin yelled. "Andy, Sherman, how did you get here?"

"The box." Andy said.

"Great! Perfect! Come on, let's move out!"

And with that, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman ran out of the main lab, to where the box was parked nearby.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jack was still at the University, typing some things into a computer keyboard. 

Dr Brainstorm and his transporter were no where in sight.

"Now," Jack said, flipping a switch. "If I can send out a brain scanner, I may be able to control everyone on the planet's brain waves."

He typed a few things into the computer.

Numbers flashed across the screen, as Jack broke code after code, breaking into the system.

A wide, evil grin spread across his face.

"Beginning with this state." He growled, striking the ENTER key on the keyboard.

Calvin's box rocketed across the sky, bolting towards the University of Advanced Robotics.

"We've got incoming." MTM warned. "A brain control signal. That robot_ wants_ everyone to come to the building."

"Can you block it?" Hobbes asked.

"Processing." MTM replied.

There was a pause.

"Uh, MTM?" Calvin asked.

Suddenly, there was a blast of light.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all looked up.

There was a blast of green light flying towards them.

"AAAAAAAUGH!!!" They all screamed.

There was a loud explosion as the box and the wave collided.

"Yes, turns out I can block it." MTM replied, as the three heroes, and Sherman slowly opened their eyes. "We have a fully functional force field."

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all glared at the CD player.

* * *

Jack rewired some circuits into the computer, then examined his work. 

Then, in a slow, creepy exorcist-like manner, he turned around, and crept to the window, hissing under his breath.

He grinned, sinisterly, as he watched several people exit the buildings around, him, and start marching towards the University.

"Perfect." He growled. "Everything is in place. Now all that's left to do is..."

Suddenly, Jack looked upwards.

He saw a brown dot in the middle of the blue sky.

The robot squinted at it.

"What the heck is that?" He wondered.

The dot got bigger.

Jack stared at it, intently.

Suddenly, it started coming into view.

Jack's eyes popped open.

"The box." He growled, evilly. "Those two brats are coming after me."

Jack grinned, evilly, and looked back towards the room with the rotating slicer and dicer.

"No matter, I can settle this quite easily." He said.

He walked over to the control panel, and began pushing some buttons.

Then, he turned around, and leaned against the panel, grinning, sinisterly.

_CRASH!!!!_

Suddenly, the glass in the window exploded outward, and a small cardboard box, flew inside.

Calvin jabbed a finger at Jack.

"STOP IT RIGHT THERE, YOU EVIL, DIABOLICAL, DEVIANT, INSANE, LUNATIC..." He paused. "uh... Robot..."

"Yeah!" Hobbes added, a little unsurely.

Jack rolled his eyes.

He flipped a switch on the panel.

Suddenly, the door on the left swung wide open.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all turned around.

There was a floating orb behind it.

There were saws, and razors, and knifes slicing away at nothing inside.

Suddenly, the wall behind it, opened up, revealing a large fan.

Jack pushed a button.

Slowly, the fan began spinning backwards, pulling air into it.

Then, it roared to life, sucking in everything in range.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at it.

"Well, that stinks." Calvin said.

Suddenly, the box started shutting down, as the fan began sucking them towards it.

"AAAAAAUGH!!!" Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all screamed at the top of their lungs as the box suddenly died, and went hurling into the room.

_SLAM!!!_

The door slammed shut behind them.

Jack grinned, wickedly.

"That was so intensely easy, it was sad." He said, shaking his head. "Now where was I?"

He turned, and faced the broken window.

More and people were lining up in front of the University, a blank expression on their each of their faces.

Jack chuckled.

"Ah, that's right. They're waiting for my order."

The robot suddenly bolted at a high rate of speed back at the computer, and began typing into the keyboard.

"The human race is mine." Jack said, evilly. "Mine to alter. And the only person who could have stopped me has been destroyed."

He began laughing, insanely.

"Man I love life!" He cackled.

He turned back to the panel.

"GET AWAY FROM THAT PANEL, ROBOT!!!" Shouted a loud voice.

Jack froze.

Slowly, he turned his head, and faced the doorway to the slicer.

His mouth dropped open.

The door was wide open, and the box was floating in the doorway, totally unharmed, containing Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman.

Jack stared at them.

"How did you..." He started.

"Force field." Calvin grinned. "Totally impenetrable. Too bad for you!"

Jack glared at them, and pushed a button on his arm.

The laser cannon shot out, and he pointed at it at Calvin.

"Oooooh," Andy said, shaking his head. "Now we don't want Jack to be able to do _that_, now do we?"

"Why, Andy, don't you dare." Hobbes said, calmly. "After all he _is_ armed!"

There was a pause.

"We should fix that." Calvin grinned, holding the MTM up.

_ZZZAAAP!!!_

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning burst from the CD player, the collided with Jack's laser gun.

"AAAAUGH!!!" Jack shouted, covering his head as the weapon exploded on contact.

"Okay, Jack," Calvin said, stepping out of the box along with Hobbes, Andy and Sherman. "We don't want to hurt you. We just want you to knock it off, you moron!"

Hobbes slapped his forehead, and Andy and Sherman groaned.

Jack glared murderously at Calvin.

"I am _not_ Jack." He growled, dangerously. "And in ten minutes, _Jack_ will no longer exist. And neither will the human race."

"Okay, Jack, just stop it." Hobbes said. "This new self of yours clearly lacks _far_ behind the Jack _I_ know."

"What are you talking about?" Jack demanded. "Jack T. Robot has been_reborn!_ I am advanced in all ways beyond that other lazy self I used to be!"

"So what?" Andy demanded. "You keep stealing your snappy come backs from movies and different TV shows."

"Yeah, you have 'The Exorcist' written all over you!" Calvin yelled.

Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Jack rolled their eyes.

Suddenly, the sound of a door swinging open downstairs emitted through the building, and the sound of marching feet followed.

Jack sneered.

"Do you hear that?" He grinned. "That is the _future _of man kind!"

"There he goes, again." Sherman commented.

Jack ignored him and continued.

"Soon every single man, woman and child will be reborn as cyborgs! And we will rule supreme!"

"And again." Andy nodded.

"I am creating heaven on Earth." Jack growled.

"And yet again!" Hobbes declared.

Jack glared at them.

"This will be _our_ paradise!" He announced, his eyes narrowing.

"Gee whiz, Jack, can't you say _one_ original sentence, any more?" Calvin demanded.

"That's it." Jack growled through gritted teeth.

He held his hand up, which began glowing bright yellow with electricity.

"I don't think I'll be able to work with _you four_ as cyborgs!"

"Well, there's _one_ original comeback." Hobbes shrugged.

Calvin calmly held the MTM up.

_BLAAAAST!!!_

"AAAAUGH!!!"

Suddenly, electricity poured from the MTM's tip, and hit Jack in the right hand corner of Jack's head.

The robot went hurling backwards into the wall, and crashed into it.

He sank to the floor, and lay there for a moment, his eyes squeezed shut.

"I blasted the circuit." MTM said. "Let's see what that gives us."

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged unsure glances.

"Uh, Jack?" Andy started moving forward. "Jack are you back to normal?"

There was a pause.

Then, suddenly, the robot's eyes burst back open.

Andy reeled back.

They were still bulged and bloodshot.

He turned a wicked grin onto the four.

"You're too late!" He cackled, leaping to his feet. "You're _TOO _late!!! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!"

"And _that_ was lifted from The Little Mermaid." Calvin said.

"Only steal from the best!" Sherman nodded.

Jack cut his eyes from Calvin, to Hobbes, to Andy, to Sherman then back to Calvin.

"Didn't you hear me?" He demanded. "I've passed the five hour period! I can't turn back into lazy and useless anymore!"

"Oh, we heard you." Andy grinned. "But we're not paying much attention."

Jack looked around.

"What are you..."

"SERVANT RAY!!! DEFEAT THAT STUPID HUNK OF RUSTY METAL!!!" Shouted a loud voice from behind Jack.

The robot spun around.

Dr Brainstorm was standing in front of him, staring at this metal gun.

"Uh... alright." He said. "_DO NOT_ do what it was that I just told you to do!!"

_BLAAAAAAAAAST!!!!_

"RRRRRRRGH!!!" Jack screamed, throwing his head back as electricity engulfed him, electrocuting every part of him.

This went on for about three or four seconds, before the ray shut off.

There was a pause, in which Jack just stood there, then fell to the floor in a heap.

"Frank!" Calvin shouted. "You're alive!!"

"_**I'M DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!!!!**_" Brainstorm shouted.

"And you're still _you_, too!" Andy added.

"How did you escape?" Hobbes asked.

"I have my Servant Ray, how do you _think_ I escaped?" Brainstorm demanded.

"...Oh." Hobbes said.

Just then, Jack bolted upward.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Brainstorm all jumped back in alarm.

Jack cut his eyes back and forth from Brainstorm and then to Calvin and Hobbes, his head didn't move an inch.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and in walked several people, all staring straight ahead, blankly.

Jack grinned, evilly.

"It doesn't matter, now." He said, standing up. "I'm evil forever, and the human race is beginning to die. There is nothing you can do."

"Oh really?" MTM suddenly cut in, before Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman or Brainstorm could reply. "You believe you have won?"

Jack sneered at the CD player.

"Yes, I believe I have won." He said, mocking the MTM's accent.

"Hmmm, I see." MTM replied. "And what do you suppose is to become of the human race? Your slaves? Companions? ...Servants, perhaps?"

Brainstorm looked up.

Jack stared at him.

"How exactly do you care?" He demanded, crossing his arms.

"Oh, you don't think there's _any_ way you could turn back to normal?" MTM asked, calmly.

"No." Jack replied, blandly without any hesitation. "I am permanent."

"Hmm, do tell." MTM said. "By the way, do you suppose there's a man called Ray in the crowd, somewhere?"

Jack looked up at the several people, standing before them, waiting for orders.

"No, I don't suppose there is!" He said, starting to get annoyed. "What's your point?"

"Point." MTM said. "Points. Lots of points. Particularly around the dome."

"What are you talking about?" Jack demanded, angrily.

"Oh, don't mind me." MTM said. "I'm merely a CD player. I wouldn't know how to command a servant."

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman, Brainstorm and Jack all stared at the MTM, totally puzzled

MTM sighed, heavily.

"I just have to spell it out for you, don't I?" He grumbled. "Brainstorm, would you just use that servant ray of yours to change Jack back to normal?"

Brainstorm stared at MTM with a confused expression.

Then, his eyes popped open.

Jack wheeled around to face Brainstorm.

"What the..." He began.

"SERVANT RAY!!!" Brainstorm commanded, holding the gun out in front of him. "DO NOT CHANGE JACK T. ROBOT BACK TO THE WAY HE USED TO BE!!!"

_KA-ZAAP!!_

There was an explosion from the tip of the Servant Ray, which sent Jack flying backwards.

Unfortunately, he landed on top of the keyboard.

_BRAA-ZAAAAP!!!_

Sparks flew everywhere, causing the machine to send out mixed signals.

"Oooohh..." Jack groaned, sitting up, and rubbing his head. "What hit me?"

His eyes were no longer bloodshot, but now white with black pupils, as they always had been. His sharp claws had dulled out to fingers, again, and the several weapons which had been positioned all over him sunk back inside. His voice had returned to normal, also.

"Jack," Andy began. "Is that... you?"

Jack turned and stared at him.

"Of course its me," He said. "Do I happen to look like something else, by chance?"

"Original comebacks!" Sherman yelled. "It _IS_ Jack!"

"HURRAY!!!" Everyone cheered, throwing their arms to the sky.

Jack looked around.

"Exactly what have I missed?" He asked, standing up.

"Well, you turned evil, tried to take over the planet, and created a device that was designed to kill..."

Hobbes froze.

So did everyone else.

Very slowly, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman turned, and faced the crowd behind them.

They were staring straight ahead, at nothing.

Then suddenly, they all turned towards the saw, which was still slicing and cutting at nothing.

Jack blinked.

Then, the people all started marching at once towards the saw in a single file line.

"STOP THEM!!!" Andy shouted.

"THEY'RE GONNA BE KILLED!!!" Sherman added, in horror.

Brainstorm leaped forward, and held his Servant Ray up.

"SERVANT RAY!! DON'T STOP THEM!!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

Nothing happened.

"Oh come on!" Brainstorm wailed. "How am I supposed to rule over them if they're dead?!? _DON'T_ STOP THEM!!!"

Nothing happened.

Brainstorm paused.

"Darn it! It's out of batteries!" He growled, hitting it against his hand.

Hobbes, Andy and Sherman desperately stepped into the people's way, and began pushing them back.

They simply plowed them over, and continued walking.

Calvin tried to use the MTM to break out the signal, but it was too strong.

Jack watched silently, a bored look on his face.

The crowd walked straight up to the doorway...

...and stopped.

Yes, they all just halted, and stood perfectly still in front of the cutting blade.

Andy and Hobbes struggled out from under the group's feet, Andy grabbed Sherman, and they all stood up in front of them.

"They're... they've..." Calvin began looking around the crowd.

"They've stopped." Jack said, in a bored manner.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Brainstorm all turned, and stared at the robot.

"Huh?" They all asked in unison.

"Brain control." Jack said, placing a finger to his head. "It's basically just hypnosis. It scares the heck out of you, but that's about it. Humans can't be ordered to march to their execution. The will to live is too strong."

There was a long moment of silence.

"You knew that, and you didn't tell us!" Andy demanded. "We could have been killed, with all those people walking over us!"

"Well, I have to have _some_ fun around here, I've just finished being evil." Jack replied.

Everyone growled.

"OK, so the evil you was unoriginal _and_ stupid." Hobbes said. "That's nice to know."

"Yeah, that's just fine and dandy, Jack, but what are we supposed to do, exactly?" Sherman demanded. "Everyone's still under brain trances and the machine you were using to control them is broken!"

Jack turned, and stared at the panel before him.

It had been smashed down under Jack's impact and still had electricity flowing around it.

Jack stared at it for a moment.

Then, he drew his foot back, slightly, and kicked it.

The people around Calvin and Hobbes suddenly snapped up.

They began marching backwards.

Everyone watched as the crowd began backing out of the building.

They all turned to the window, and looked outside.

Everyone was backing out, and returning to their previous buildings.

"There." Jack said. "The brain control will die off once they get back to whatever it was they were doing."

Brainstorm glared at Jack.

"You really think you're hot stuff, don't you?" He demanded.

"Well... yeah." Jack grinned, turning to Brainstorm.

"I can't believe you! Here you are, nearly killing everyone in this city off and..."

"And by the way, thanks for saving me." Jack said.

Brainstorm froze.

"Huh?" He asked.

"I said let's order a pizza when we get back to the lab." Jack said, crossing his arms. "I'm starving."

"Oh." Brainstorm said. "Sounds good! I'm going back, now, so _**HURRY UP!!!!!**_"

"I'll do that, Frank."

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!!!!**_"

Brainstorm then turned to Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman.

"And as for you! YOU WILL PAY! I shall return!!! AND THEN I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE!!!"

"Uh, you were _helping_ us, right?" Sherman asked.

"YOU WILL PAY, DEARLY!! _I SHALL RETURN!!!!!_"

And with that, Brainstorm stepped into the transporter, which had been parked in the far corner of the room, and pushed a button.

_BRA-ZAAP!!!_

Jack rolled his eyes, and turned to Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman.

"Alright, everything is back to normal. The owners of this broken window are the ones who are gonna have to deal with it. And the human race lives on, not as robots." He said. "Everything set?"

"Uh, no." Sherman said, his eyes going to the orb in the other room. "We still have that thing in there."

Jack looked up.

"Oh, yeah." He sighed.

He walked up to the doorway.

"HEY!" He shouted at it. "Shut up!"

Suddenly, the saws, knifes, razors, blades, lasers and scissors froze.

There was a low humming sound, and suddenly, the orb rotated over, and all the sharp objects retracted back inside it.

Then, it stopped glowing, and hung, silently in the air.

Jack turned back to the four.

"Command Orb." He said, blankly. "Voice commanded. A virtual team is inside that thing working away at whatever you want it to."

_**BOOOM!!!**_

Suddenly, the orb expanded outward in an explosion, then sank back down to its original size.

"Objects get destroyed when your done with them." Jack finished.

There was a pause.

"Oh, right..." Calvin said. "I knew that."

Jack checked his watch.

"Well, I'd better be getting back to Frank." He said. "I need to order that pizza, because Frank doesn't know how to dial the number right,"

"Ah, yes," Andy said.

Everyone nodded.

"So, Media Player, am I set?" Jack asked, glancing at the MTM.

"Yes," MTM replied. "The circuit has been ripped apart from the rest of you, completely. There's no way any of this can happen again."

"Good." Jack replied. "Well, then, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy... the small one."

"HEY!" Sherman yelled.

"I bid you farewell."

"See you later, Jack!" Calvin said.

"Until next time." Hobbes added.

"Uh huh." Jack yawned.

Everyone waved goodbye to Jack, as he pushed a button on his arm, and suddenly, a transporter inside him was activated.

_BRA-ZAAP!!_

Jack vanished.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Socrates is in his mansion up in his room." Hobbes said, suddenly. "He has absolutely no idea that this happened."

Calvin, Andy and Sherman nodded in agreement.

There was another pause.

"Well," Andy said, suddenly. "Who's up for a movie?"

"I am!" Calvin and Hobbes both said, in unison, their arms shooting to the air.

"Whatever." Sherman sighed, looking around the room.

"Great! I think FX is showing The Grudge!" Andy said.

"Cool!" Calvin grinned. "A terrible Japanese movie about squid ladies with scratchy throats!"

"Let the riffing begin!" Hobbes announced.

And with that, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman rushed to the box, and started it up.

Slowly, it began rising off the floor, then bolted out the window.

It soared through the air, and flew off into the sunset.

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segell Adlon** Calvin  
**Tom Hanks** Hobbes  
**Andrew Lawrence** Andy  
**Colin Mochrie** Sherman  
**Norman Lovett** MTM  
**Neil Crone** Dr Brainstorm  
**Michael Brandon** Jack  
**John Simm** Evil Jack  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt** Mom

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Electronic Invasion 


	22. Electronic Invasion P1

**Summary: **People in Calvin's town begin acting strangely.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Part one written by Garfieldodie_

**Electronic Invasion**

Alright then, rather than starting with Calvin and Hobbes, we're going to start with Andy and Sherman. They live in the house with the fancy satellite dish that's a little further down the street from Calvin and Hobbes.

Sherman was in the living room fiddling with some components while watching TV.

As he worked, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Andy, where've you been? It's almost noon," Sherman said, not looking up.

There was no reply.

Sherman continued to fiddle with the machine for a while before he noticed.

"Andy?" he asked.

Still no reply could be heard.

"_Andy?_" Sherman repeated, turning around.

Andy was there, alright. He was standing there, staring off into space, not really doing anything.

Sherman watched him for a long time.

"Er, buenos tardes," he said.

Andy finally looked up.

"Hello, Sherman," he said in a monotone voice. "How are you on this fine day?"

Sherman arched an eyebrow before replying.

"Uh, well, I've been working on my new proton accelerator actually. I've been trying to—"

"That is nice, Sherman," Andy interrupted. "I am off to have a breakfast meal."

Sherman stared at Andy as he walked away.

"Uh…you do that," Sherman said, looking away.

As he listened to Andy in the next room, Sherman felt more and more uneasy.

Just then, the phone rang.

Andy picked it up.

"Hello. This is Andy. How may I be of service to you?" he asked.

Sherman looked up.

Calvin was on the phone.

"Hey, Andy, I need you and Sherman over here right away. I've got a new bunch of supplies for a bigger game of Calvinball!" Calvin said excitedly.

"That sounds interesting, Calvin," Andy said monotonously. "We shall join you. Good bye."

Andy hung up.

Sherman watched him approach him.

"Uh…are we going out?" he asked, putting his invention down.

"Yes, Sherman, we are going out," Andy replied, scooping Sherman up and putting him in his pocket.

Sherman couldn't help but notice the stiffness in how Andy was moving his arms.

"Are you okay, Andy?" Sherman asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I am perfectly well, Sherman," Andy replied.

Andy walked straight forward and out the door.

As they walked, Sherman noticed something.

"Why are all the streetlights flickering?" he asked.

"I do not know, Sherman," Andy replied.

Sherman watched the streetlights blink on and off repeatedly all the way to Calvin's house.

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were sitting in the backyard waiting for Andy and Sherman. 

As they waited, Socrates was listening to the radio.

However, in the middle of one of the songs, there was suddenly a lot of static filling the speakers.

Socrates looked at it.

"Huh. That's odd," he commented.

He began hitting it, hoping to get it working right again.

It took a few goes, but finally he managed to clear it up.

"That was weird," he muttered.

Just then, Andy and Sherman arrived.

"Ah, there you boys are!" said Calvin. "Are you ready for some Calvinball?"

"Yes, I am ready for Calvinball, Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates," Andy said.

Everyone looked at him strangely.

"Uh…right," said Calvin. "Anyway, here are the masks."

Calvin handed masks out to everyone.

Andy just stared at his.

Hobbes noticed.

"Uh, Andy, you put it on," Hobbes said, putting his on.

"Of course," Andy said, putting his mask on.

Then he just stood there, staring at them with unblinking eyes.

"And now we play!" said Calvin, picking up a basketball and a volleyball.

They quickly hightailed it over to the field.

Calvin quickly tossed Hobbes the basketball.

"Okay!" he said. "I'm currently in the Room of Repose!"

"What's that mean?" asked Hobbes.

"It means I get to lie here until someone finds the Box of Coffee!" Calvin said, tossing the volleyball to Socrates.

"Right!" said Socrates. "I'll find it, and once I do, I get to throw a water balloon into the air, and whoever gets hit with it has to plant the red flag in the Tree Fortress!"

"Let's hit it!" said Hobbes.

Calvin lied down on the ground and waited while Hobbes and Socrates started to run around the world.

Andy simply looked confused.

Sherman, who was the only one not participating, looked at him.

"Aren't you going to look?" he asked.

"I am afraid that I am most confused," Andy replied.

"So am I, but that's never stopped you before."

Andy simply shrugged and walked around in circles.

Sherman was confused by this. He scurried over to Calvin.

"Calvin, have you got a moment?"

"Only until the Coffee Box is found," Calvin replied, looking up. "Why?"

"Andy is acting very strange," Sherman explained. "Look at him! He's usually the one with at least half a clue!"

Calvin glanced at Andy.

The poor boy was just making a groove in the field.

"Huh," Calvin commented. "What'd he eat for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bland?"

Sherman let out a short chuckle, but nothing more.

* * *

The next day, Calvin and Hobbes were traveling with Mom at the grocery store. 

"Calvin, I really wish you'd stop trying to sneak boxes of cereal and cookies into the cart," Mom sighed, putting something back.

"Mom, stop doing that!" Calvin complained. "You'll offend the groceries!"

Mom sighed and continued on.

Calvin and Hobbes trudged behind.

"Hobbes, do you think Andy's been acting a little different as of late?" Calvin asked.

"How do you mean?" Hobbes asked, looking around the store.

"I dunno. I mean, he's been acting really boring, he's just staring into space, he barely says anything remotely interesting…"

"Calvin, Andy's _always _been like that," Hobbes reminded him.

"Yeah, but now he's a bit more… I dunno… _stupid_ bland. I mean, it's like we have to reteach him everything! Sherman said that last night he tried to brush his teeth with toilet paper!" Calvin said.

"Ick," said Hobbes. "I hate to think what he did with his toothbrush."

They had soon gone through the checkout line and were exiting the grocery store.

As they walked, they didn't notice the neon sign above them of the store's name suddenly flickered.

Then, an odd thing happened.

_**BZZZ! BZZZ! BZZZ! BZZZ! BZZZ! BZZZ!**_

Lights flashed and sirens went off.

"ACK! WE GOT MOVIE SIGN!" Calvin cried, running off and crashing into the cart.

"Wrong show," Hobbes reminded him.

"Oh," said Calvin, looking around.

It was a car alarm going off.

"That's strange," Mom said. "No one went near that car."

_**WHIRP! WHIRP! WHIRP! WHIRP! WHIRP!**_

They whipped around as another car alarm went off.

"…or that one," Mom commented.

_**WHOP! WHOP! WHOP! WHOP!**_

"Did everyone in this city buy an American car or something?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes shrugged and covered his ears.

Mom quickly started to unload the groceries into the car, but as she did, more and more car alarms started to go off.

Calvin and Hobbes covered their ears and watched as people went to cars in absolute confusion, trying to shut off the alarms.

_**WHIRP! WHIRP!**_

_**WEEE-WOOO! WEEE-WOOO! WEEE-WOOO!**_

_**WHOP! WHOP! WHOP!**_

_**HONK-HONK-HONK! HONK-HONK-HONK! HONK-HONK-HONK!**_

_**PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE VE-HIC-LE!**_

Mom quickly locked the trunk, kicked the cart out of the way, jammed Calvin and Hobbes into the backseat and jumped into the car, quickly starting it, pulling out and hurrying away.

Calvin and Hobbes watched as the grocery store faded away into the distance.

"Wow," said Calvin. "That was weird."

"Yes," said Mom. "It's strange that my car was the only one that didn't go off."

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"You don't suppose someone's up to something do you?" Calvin asked.

"When are any of our enemies not up to something?" Hobbes sighed, picking up a magazine.

Calvin's brow furrowed in confusion and annoyance.

"Things just get stranger and stranger around here," he sighed.

As they drove through town, a traffic light suddenly began blinking its lights randomly.

Cars became stuck behind it for quite a while.

Once they got the whole thing sorted out, they continued on through town.

Calvin and Hobbes became confused by lights blinking on and off all over the place.

"It's like a really weird '80s music video around here," Hobbes commented.

* * *

Once they got home, Calvin and Hobbes immediately went up to their bedroom, but once getting there, they discovered the box was sitting in the middle of the room, bottom side down. 

"Huh," said Calvin. "What's the Duplicator doing here?"

_**BOINK!**_

They stared.

"Duplicating, apparently," said Hobbes.

_**BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK!**_

Calvin and Hobbes suddenly began panicking.

"What's it duplicating?!" Calvin cried.

"Who cares?! Turn it off!" Hobbes shouted.

Calvin and Hobbes searched the box in vain to find a way of stopping it.

_**BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK! BOINK!**_

Finally, Calvin found a black magic marker and quickly wrote on the side "TURN OFF BOX" and drew a button on the side. Then he pressed it.

_**BAMP! SHOOOOOMM!**_

The box finally died down.

Calvin and Hobbes sighed with relief and leaned against it.

Then, Calvin decided to see what had happened. He lifted the box up and tons of alarm clocks came tumbling out.

"Huh," said Hobbes. "I have a feeling that we may never have a right to lose track of the time now, huh?"

Calvin rolled his eyes and quickly unmade all the extra clocks.

_**UN-BOINK!**_

"Well, this has been a weird day," Calvin commented, rubbing his head.

"I'm going to bed," Hobbes decided, crawling under the bed sheets.

"Hobbes, it's four o'clock."

"It doesn't matter to a tiger."

Calvin rolled his eyes and began to inspect the box.

* * *

The next day, Socrates was walking down the streets singing a random song like he always does. 

As he walked, he passed by Andy and Sherman's house.

In fact, Andy and Sherman were both standing in the front lawn.

"Hello, Andrew! Hello, Vermin!" Socrates said cheerfully, waving to them.

Andy and Sherman continued to stare ahead.

"Hello, Socrates," they both said together. "It is a pleasure to see you."

Socrates stopped walking and stared at them.

"Hello…," he said.

There was a pause as they all stared at each other.

"Would you like to come in?" Andy asked.

Socrates was now really confused and wanted to know what was going on.

"Uh, sure," he said, following them into the house nervously.

As they entered the house, the telephone lines suddenly started to sway in the wind.

Socrates noticed this as he entered the house.

"Huh," he said. "That's weird. There's no wind."

Shrugging it off, Socrates followed Andy and Sherman through the door.

* * *

At school, Calvin was sitting in class, ignoring whatever was going on as usual. 

Miss Wormwood entered the room.

"Good morning, class," she said, staring ahead and not blinking. "I am here, and it is time to begin our class of the day."

Calvin rolled his eyes and doodled in his notebook.

"If everyone will please take your homework and pass it to the front of the classroom then I shall collect it and put it away," she said in a monotonous voice.

Calvin reached into his backpack and looked his homework over.

It was a history essay about the pilgrims, and he had written that they had come to Earth on a giant escalator from Mars. He collected the homework behind him and tried to pass it forward to Susie.

Susie didn't seem to notice him.

"Hey, Susie!" he called. "Here's the homework! Pass it forward, you stupid girl!"

Susie didn't react for a bit.

Suddenly, there was a spark of electricity that emitted from the intercom above Calvin.

Calvin seemed to be the only one who noticed.

Strangely enough, once it was over, Susie promptly turned around and collected the homework.

"Thank you, Calvin," she said in a voice similar to Miss Wormwood's. "I shall collect the homework and pass it forward with my own."

Calvin arched an eyebrow.

"Uh…right," Calvin said unsurely.

Once Susie had turned around again, Calvin resumed what he was doing, but every once in a while, he stole a glance at the intercom.

* * *

At the house, Hobbes was in the bedroom reading a comic book. 

As he sat there, MTM spoke up.

"You're getting a call," MTM said.

"Thanks," Hobbes said, picking him up and opening the CD player. "Hello, you reached the house of Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin's not here right now. Who is it?" he asked.

"Hobbo, it's Socrates," Socrates said in a hushed voice on the other line.

"Hey, Crateso, what's up? Got any prank ideas?"

"No, none right now. I've called to place an urgent warning."

"What's that?"

"It's Andy and Sherman. I'm at their house right now. They're just sitting at the TV doing nothing!"

"Isn't that what Andy usually does?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes, but this time, there's no video game!" Socrates hissed. "And Sherman hasn't insulted me in over fifteen minutes! I'm beginning to worry!"

"You show worry for somebody else? Goodness, Socrates! This_ must_ be serious!" Hobbes said sarcastically.

"Whatever," Socrates muttered. "I'm just giving you a heads up. I've gotta go. I'm going to experiment."

"Just don't get Home Land Security involved," Hobbes replied, and he snapped the MTM shut.

* * *

Socrates gently set the phone down and turned to face Andy and Sherman. 

They were still sitting at the TV.

Socrates approached them.

"Hey, Andy, I have an idea!" he said.

"What is that?" asked Andy, not facing him.

"Let's have a staring contest!"

"What is a staring contest?" Andy asked.

Socrates looked at him.

"You're…you're kidding me, right?" he asked.

"No, I am not kidding you, Socrates," Andy said. "What is a staring contest?"

"Uh…well, two people stare at each other for a long time, and they try to stare for the longest without blinking. First one to blink loses."

"Very well, Socrates. Let us have a staring contest," Andy said.

"Alright, starting…now!"

Socrates opened his eyes wide and stared at Andy with all his might.

Andy just sat there, expression unchanged.

This went on for several seconds.

"I must warn you," Socrates said. "A cat can outstare anything."

The silence waged on.

Socrates felt his eyes begin to water from the strain.

Finally, he had to concede defeat, and his eyes snapped shut.

"Wow!" he said, rubbing his eyes. "How the heck did you last that long?"

"Because I could," Andy replied.

"Because he could," Sherman added.

Socrates began to look between the two of them. He suddenly felt a need to get away from them.

Why? Well the fact that he had just seen some sparks of electricity spark through them was part of it.

Suddenly, they attacked him.

* * *

Calvin came home from school later that day after a lot of confusion. He got off the bus and opened the door to his house. 

"_**I'M HOME!**_"

_**WHAM!**_

Hobbes pounced Calvin straight through the air and into the yard.

"AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHH!!" Calvin screamed.

"Whoo!" Hobbes cheered, dusting himself off. "I swear, the longer I wait, the more wound up I get!"

Calvin got up and stretched until his spine snapped back into place.

"Yeah, so that means you've been waiting since a week ago Thursday," he said.

Hobbes simply grinned sweetly.

"Where're Mom and Dad?" Calvin asked.

"I dunno. They've been gone all day."

Calvin and Hobbes entered the house and looked around.

It was eerily empty.

"You sure? They didn't say anything to you, did they?" Calvin asked.

"Never did, never will," Hobbes replied.

Calvin thought for a bit, and then went into the kitchen. As he prepared to eat some cookies, he heard the car pull up.

"Oop! They're home! Abort mission!" he cried, putting the cookies back.

The door opened.

Mom and Dad stood in the doorway. They were staring off into space much like everyone else had been.

"Hello, Calvin," Dad said monotonously. "We have just returned from building lots of character."

"Yes," Mom said. "Lots and lots of character."

Calvin stared at them.

"Dad, what are you doing home?" he asked. "You don't get home until five thirty!"

"I decided to come home early because coming home early builds character," Dad said.

Calvin looked very confused.

Suddenly, the lights flickered in the kitchen.

Then, the ceiling fan started to spin, slowly at first, and then faster and faster.

Soon, it was like a tornado right there in the kitchen!

Papers were flying everywhere, and things were being blown over!

"ACK!" Calvin cried, running from the room. "HELP! MY KITCHEN IS BEING ATTACKED!"

He soon left.

Hobbes watched him leave. Then he watched Mom and Dad enter the living room where they promptly sat down and stared into space.

"Huh," he said. "That was weird."

Deciding that it was too weird, Hobbes immediately began to leave the house.

"I think I'll go see what's up at Andy's house," he muttered. "Maybe it's less crazy over there."

As he left the house, he was disturbed by something.

_**DING-DONG!**_

Hobbes looked up.

It was the doorbell.

"Strange," Hobbes commented, looking around. "Nobody's here."

_**DING-DONG!**_

Hobbes looked at the doorbell again.

"What do you want?" he asked it.

_**DING-DONG!**_

"_What do you want?_" Hobbes asked again, getting annoyed.

_**DING-DONG!**_

Hobbes began to growl.

"Stop it!" he ordered.

_**DING-DONG!**_

"STOP IT!" Hobbes shouted.

There was a pause.

Hobbes waited before smirking triumphantly.

But just as he started to walk away…

_**DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG!**_

Hobbes stared at the doorbell in absolute annoyance.

Finally, he picked up a hammer and smashed it.

_**WHAM!**_

It finally stopped.

"There, that'll teach you," Hobbes said sternly, tossing the hammer aside and walking away.

_**DING-DONG!**_

Hobbes whipped around and glared at it before finally walking away in a huff.

* * *

Hobbes arrived at Andy and Sherman's house. He refrained from ringing their doorbell. 

"Andy? It's me, Hobbes!" he called.

After a brief pause, the door opened.

Andy, Sherman and Socrates were standing there.

"Hey, guys. What's going on?" he asked.

"Hello, Hobbes," they all said at once. "What is up?"

Hobbes stared at them for a bit.

"Well, I just got in a political argument with my doorbell. How about you?" he asked.

"We are fine," said Andy.

"Absolutely happy," said Sherman.

"We have made tea," said Socrates.

It creeped Hobbes out that they were all speaking in that monotonous voice.

"Are you all going to become Ben Stine stand-ins?" he asked, backing away.

"Do come in, Hobbes," Andy said. "We would be most pleased."

Hobbes noticed a blink of electricity shoot through their eyes.

Becoming nervous, he continued to back away.

"Uh, maybe another time," he said. "I've, er, got something to do back at home. I left some muffins in the oven…"

Suddenly, Andy and Socrates reached for him.

"EEP!" Hobbes squeaked, and he turned to run.

Well, he turned, but he couldn't run.

He immediately crashed into a pair of legs.

Nervously, he looked up.

It was Rosalyn.

"Hello, Hobbes," she said, looking straight ahead and sounding bored. "Would you come with me please?"

"ACK!" Hobbes cried, and he tried to run another way.

But Susie and Candace were blocking his way. They both reached out for him.

"STOP IT!" Hobbes shouted.

He immediately pounced over them, but soon found that there were more people just like them, all staring ahead and reaching out for him.

"ACK! CALVIN! HELP!" Hobbes wailed.

Hobbes suddenly found himself trapped by a crowd of people, stuck in a circle that was growing smaller.

"AAAAAAAAUUUGHH!" Hobbes screamed, covering his head.

* * *

Back at the house, Calvin was having troubles of his own. 

All his inventions were going crazy. The Transmogrifier Gun was firing at random objects, the Mini-Duplicator was making copies of everything, the Atomic Freezer was grabbing random objects and freezing them, the box was flying all around the house, and Mega-Shrinker 5000 was shrinking and enlarging several toys.

The only one that seemed to have any self-control was the MTM.

"This is getting impossible!" Calvin moaned. "What's going on around here?!"

"I'm sensing lots of electrical surges coming from an unknown area," said MTM. "I'm not sure what's causing it, though."

"Would that explain all those car alarms going off, and the ceiling fan going insane?"

"Possibly. I've been feeling these surges for the last few days."

Calvin quickly sat down to think.

"Something weird is going on," he muttered.

"Really? What was your first clue, Professor?" MTM snorted.

Calvin glared at him.

"It's not just this! All the people are acting really weird too! I don't get why all of this is happening!"

_**CRASH!**_

Calvin looked up.

"What was that?!" he cried.

"A crash, I'd reckon," MTM replied.

Calvin ignored him and ran downstairs.

MTM grumbled.

"That's right. Leave me here with the freaks," he said, watching the other inventions fly around the room.

Calvin ran downstairs.

"Alright, what's going on in here?!" he shouted.

The house was a mess. Things had been knocked over.

And then Calvin gasped at what he saw.

He saw…himself?

**To Be Continued...**


	23. Electronic Invasion P2

_Part two written by Swing123_

Calvin stared wide eyed at himself.

The second Calvin was angrily marching through the living room, kicking the desks and lamps over, and practically destroying the place.

It took a hold of the couch, and clenched it's fist.

The purple fabric on it ripped, and the Calvin lifted the entire couch over his head, and flung it over his shoulder.

It landed against the wall, with a tremendous crash, and landed back on the floor, leaving a pretty noticeable dent in the wall.

Calvin's mouth dropped open.

The second Calvin marched through the rest of the room, seeming to not notice him, and into the kitchen.

Calvin watched it go.

Slowly, he stepped off the stairs, into the beat up living room, and after it.

He peeked through the kitchen entrance, and looked around.

The second Calvin was standing perfectly still. Its back facing Calvin.

Sparks were flying from all the electric items in the kitchen.

Calvin stared at the second him before him.

"Uh..." he began. "...Hello? Were you... looking for something?"

There was a moment of silence.

The Calvin didn't respond.

It stood perfectly still in the middle of the room

Calvin blinked.

"OK, so if you're not going to tell me who you are, I'm just going to guess." He said, crossing his arms. "Judging from your attitude, your mysteriousness, and all the stuff your going to pay for in my living room, I'm going to guess your Socrates' owner?"

The Calvin didn't respond.

"I see." Calvin said. "Well, then I'm just going to have to resort to drastic measures!"

He pointed at his door.

"Get the heck out of my house!" He ordered. "And that's a command from Calvin the Bold!"

There was a moment of silence.

Then, suddenly, the Calvin lifted his feet, and turned around.

It faced Calvin with a blank expression on its face.

Calvin stared at it.

"Handsome, I must admit." He said, tapping his chin.

The Calvin stared at him.

Then, it opened its mouth.

"EXTERMINATE!!" It shouted in a monotone voice.

Calvin paused.

"Right. Where did you get _that_ line?" He demanded.

The Calvin held up its hand.

Suddenly, a bolt of electricity shot from its index finger and streaked through the air at Calvin.

"ACK!!!" Calvin screamed, leaping from the way.

The bolt struck the ground where he had just been, leaving a scarred mark in the linoleum.

Calvin stared at it with wide eyes.

He turned back to the other Calvin.

"OK, then, that's all I need to know. Bye bye!" He said.

He whirled around, and rushed out into his living room.

The second Calvin just stood there, staring off into space.

Calvin rushed into the living room, screeched to a stop, and ripped his front door open.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman were standing behind it.

They were staring at him with vacant eyes.

"Hello, Calvin. How are you this evening?" They all chanted in a monotone voice.

Calvin slammed the door.

"OK, not that way." He said, leaning against it.

Just then, the sound of footsteps reached Calvin's ears.

He looked up, and saw the second him marching into the living room, staring straight ahead of him.

"You will be destroyed." It said in a voice void of all emotion.

It held its hand up.

Calvin stared at it with wide eyes.

"No thanks, I kind of enjoy having a life." He said.

_**ZZZZZZT!!**_

Calvin leaped from the door as a disintegrator ray shot through the air.

It struck the door, causing it to vanish into a puff of blue dust.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman marched into Calvin's house, staring hollowly ahead of them.

"AAAAAUGH!" Calvin screamed, rushing up his stairs to his room.

He ripped his door open, and slammed it behind him.

He leaned against the door, panting for breath.

MTM was still sitting on the desk, and the other inventions were still flying around, wildly.

"MTM, we have to leave, now!!" Calvin shouted.

"I kind of noticed that." MTM replied.

Calvin ran up to his desk, grabbed the CD player, and rushed over to the window.

"Engage Emergency Protocol #5557490!" Calvin shouted.

"Whatever." MTM said.

Just then, the door burst open in a blast of electricity, and the second Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman marched inside.

Calvin whirled around, holding the MTM in both of his hands in front of him.

Hobbes held his arm up.

A hissing noise came from it, and suddenly, the arm lifted out of its socket, being extended by a metal pole.

The arm flipped around, revealing a giant chainsaw and then lowed back into its socket.

_**WHIIIIIIRR!!!**_

The chainsaw then started up, and it began moving towards Calvin.

Calvin stared at it in horror.

"They're... they're robots!" He gasped.

"What was your first clue?" MTM asked.

Calvin glared at the MTM.

Then he turned to the robots.

"BACK OFF!!" Calvin ordered, aiming the CD player at them.

Robot Hobbes continued to move toward him.

It held the roaring chainsaw over its head.

_**ZZZZZZZZZZTT!!**_

A bolt of electrically exploded from the tip of the MTM, and headed for the robotic Hobbes.

_**BOOOM!!**_

There was an explosion of metal, and the Hobbes robot's head was blown to pieces.

The chainsaw slowly died, and the arm lowered.

The robot slouched, then fell forward onto the ground.

Calvin turned and faced the other four robots.

"I'm warning you!" He growled. "Get away from me!"

The four robots continued approaching.

Calvin backed up into the front of his window.

He looked behind him.

It was open.

"MTM, have you bothered to activate that protocol, yet?" He demanded, turning to the CD player.

"Yes, actually, it's been opened for some time, now." MTM yawned.

Calvin growled.

Then, he turned to the robots.

"This is your last warning to get out of my house!" He warned.

The robots continued towards him with yellow sparks flying from their eyes.

"Very well." Calvin said. "MTM. Engage."

_**BOOOOOOOM!!!**_

There was a large explosion of fire, propelling Calvin out his window, and destroying the robots in the blast.

"Hot dog!" Calvin yelled.

Suddenly, a white parachute flew from the end of the MTM, and caught Calvin in his fall.

He slowly lowered to the ground.

"OK," Calvin said, straightening up as the parachute was sucked back into the MTM's hypercube. "MTM, track down the electrical disturbances."

MTM sighed.

"I just told you," He said. "I don't know where it is."

There was a pause.

"Well, how am I supposed to find it?" Calvin shouted, throwing his hand to the sky.

"Calvin, it is time to build some character at this time." Came a monotone voice behind him.

Calvin whirled around.

Mom and Dad were standing at the front door, staring off into space, and holding their hands up.

There were sparks of electricity flying from their eyes, and they were making a low humming noise.

Calvin began backing up.

They stared after him, then, perfectly in sync with each other's movements, they began marching towards him.

"AAAAAAUGH!!!" Calvin screamed, wheeling around, and racing off down the street.

Suddenly, Susie stepped in front of him.

Calvin screeched to a stop in front of her.

"Hello, Calvin," She said, emotionlessly. "Would you like to come and play house with me at this time?"

Calvin stared at her in horror.

She opened her mouth, revealing metal razor sharp teeth.

There was a whirring noise, and they began moving from side to side along her mouth.

"AAAAAAAUGH!!" Calvin screeched, and rushed past her.

She turned, and began marching after him.

Calvin raced down the sidewalk.

He came to Andy and Sherman's house on the end of the block.

He rushed through the gate, and up to the house.

He looked behind him.

A robotic Miss Wormwood, Moe, Rosalyn, and Mr Spittle was marching through the streets, staring straight ahead.

Calvin stared at them, then jumped off Andy's porch.

He rushed around to the other side of the house.

There, he leaned against the wall, and wiped some sweat from his brow.

He looked over the side of the house.

The robots were marching straight ahead, seeming to not notice him.

Calvin turned back to the MTM in his hands.

"MTM, what do we do? How do I track the signal?" He panted.

There was a moment of silence.

"MTM?" Calvin asked.

"Hello, Calvin, I am the Mini Time Machine." MTM said in a monotone voice.

"AAAACK!" Calvin screeched, tossing the MTM out of his hands.

It landed a few feet away on the grass.

"OUCH!" He yelled. "Blimey! I was only joking!"

Calvin glared, murderously at it.

"Not funny, MTM." He growled. "I need to know how to beat these robots!"

"OK, fine. I'm sorry." MTM yawned.

Calvin walked over, and picked the MTM out of the grass.

"Now, what do you propose that we do?" He asked, stepping forward.

The MTM paused.

"Well, the robots must be controlled through a transmitter." The machine replied. "I can't track the signal because its going through several different robots at once. But if we can isolate the signal, I might be able to track it down."

"Great! How do we isolate the signal?" He asked.

"Have you got any spare change, Twink-ee?" A flat voice suddenly came from behind him.

Calvin spun around.

Robot Moe was standing at the side of the house.

He held both his hands up in the strangling position, and they began glowing bright yellow.

"Prepare to be destroyed." It said.

"Can you really actually prepare for that? Is there some kind of state of mind you have to be in?" Calvin asked.

Robot Moe stared at him.

Calvin smirked.

"Prepare to be destroyed." He said, chuckling.

He held the MTM up at the robot, and pushed a button.

_ZZZZZZAAAAP!!_

A red light blasted out of the tip of the CD player, and struck the robot's neck.

Calvin ripped the MTM to one side.

The laser bolted to one side, also, and cut straight through the robot's neck.

_SHOOOOM!_

The robot suddenly slouched forward, then collapsed onto the ground.

Smoke rose from the head piece, which lay on the grass next to it.

"Wow, I've been wanting to do that for a long time!" Calvin grinned.

"Uh huh." MTM said.

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, then, moving on." Calvin said.

He turned around, and began walking off in the other direction.

"Wait a minute!" MTM yelled, suddenly.

Calvin stopped.

"What?" He asked.

"That head will do quite nicely for tracking the signal." MTM said.

"How do you mean?" Calvin asked, looking back at the Moe Robot.

"The signal is still being sent to this robot, but its not forwarding it any of the others." MTM explained. "Let me see the head."

"That's... an unusual thing to say." Calvin said. "But alright!"

Calvin walked back to the Moe robot, and held the MTM up to the head piece.

The MTM began humming, lowly, and a light shot out of the tip.

It moved up and down the head for a moment, then the light died.

"Processing." He said.

Calvin waited.

There was a moment of silence.

_DING!_

The MTM stopped humming, and a bell sound came from it.

"I've got it." MTM said. "The location is locked."

"Great! Where's the signal from?" Calvin asked, standing up.

"It's coming from underground." MTM said. "One thousand feet below ground level to be exact. Exactly one quarter of a mile from this present spot to the north west."

Calvin looked up.

"OK, now we're making some progress." He said. "Thanks for the info, Moe."

And with that, Calvin rushed off.

He ran through Andy and Sherman's gate, and started off down the sidewalk towards town.

* * *

Town was deserted. 

Cars stood still in the street. Traffic lights were switching wildly, and there were papers flying everywhere.

Calvin looked around, as he walked through the city.

The buildings were all empty, but Calvin couldn't shake the feeling that someone... or something to be more accurate, was watching him.

The MTM was humming to himself.

Of course.

Calvin kept walking.

He walked past several abandoned cars and trucks, which stood eerily on the road.

Just then, the MTM stopped humming.

He paused.

"Stop!" He ordered.

Calvin stopped.

"Right here." MTM said. "One thousand feet below us, this is where the signal is coming from."

"Good." Calvin said. "Now, let's just see who's behind all this..."

"Oh, and by the way, the robots are coming." MTM interrupted.

Calvin paused.

"Thanks for telling me." He said, expressionlessly.

"Oh, no need for thanks." MTM yawned.

Calvin glared at him.

"OK, then, how do we get down there?" Calvin demanded.

"Processing." MTM said.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

He stood there for a moment, waiting.

Just then, a pair of yellow glowing eyes appeared in one of the darkened windows, and fixed onto Calvin.

Calvin looked around, nervously.

The other windows were suddenly lighting up as something was staring down from them.

"Uh, MTM?"

"Processing." MTM replied.

Calvin looked around at all the eyes around him.

"We have trouble..." He said, quietly.

"Processing." MTM said.

"Class it is time to begin learning at this time." A voice cut through the air like a knife.

Calvin spun around.

Miss Wormwood, Susie, Mom, Dad, and several other people were standing in front of Calvin, staring at him with electronic eyes.

"_MTM!!!_" Calvin shouted, stepping backwards.

"Processing." MTM said.

"HELP!!"

The robots began marching towards him.

Calvin began backing away.

"MTM!! _DO_ SOMETHING!!!"

"Calvin step into the phone booth to your right," MTM said.

Calvin looked around.

There was a phone booth beside him.

He made a dive for it.

Several robots made a grab for him, but they were too slow.

He dove inside the booth, and closed the door.

The robots marched up to the booth, and stared at him through the glass.

Then, Robot Susie began pounding on the glass, making it rattle.

_CRASH!! CRASH!! CRASH!! CRASH!! CRASH!!_

Calvin backed up into the phone.

"Pick the phone up." MTM said.

Calvin stared at the CD player.

"MTM, this is no time to be making phone calls!" He shouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry." MTM said. "I just assumed you wanted to live."

The other robots began pounding on the glass, too.

_**CRASH!! CRASH!! CRASH!! CRASH!!**_

"Picking the phone up." Calvin said.

He grabbed the phone off the hook, and held it up to his ear.

"Push the buttons five, seven, six, three, zero, two, six, one, and one." MTM said.

Calvin frantically began pushing buttons.

_**CRASH!!! TWINKLE!!! SHATTER!!**_

Suddenly, the glass shattered, and the robots reached inside for Calvin, making electric sounds with their arms

Calvin pushed the one button twice.

_ZZZZZZIIIIIP!!!_

Suddenly, the floor underneath Calvin rushed aside, revealing a large tunnel with metal walls.

"AAAAAAAAUGH!!" Calvin screamed, as he collapsed and fell through hole.

The robots entered the phone booth, and reached for Calvin, but just as they came to it, the floor slid back into place.

Calvin kept falling through the tunnel.

It was a very enclosed space, and it didn't make him that comfortable.

_THUMP!_

Suddenly, the tunnel ended, and Calvin fell through an air vent.

He collapsed onto a blue tiled floor.

The MTM fell down along with him.

"There you are." He said. "My work is done."

Calvin glared at the CD player, and sat up.

He rubbed his head, and looked around.

He was in a large laboratory, much like Dr Brainstorm's. Only this lab was much more advanced than Brainstorm's.

There were machines all around with wires hooked into the walls and ceiling.

There was a low humming noise moving throughout the lab, and every now and then one of the machines made a low beeping noise.

Calvin stood up.

"Wh–where am I?"

"That Brainstorm bloke's old lab." MTM said. "You see, before he went to Yellowstone he had a lab down here. Interesting, enough. Strangely, It was emptied out when he went to the park. It's been inactive for months now."

Calvin looked around.

"Well, that means someone's reactivated it." He said, slowly.

"Good job." MTM yawned.

"They're using this lab as a giant transmitter for the robots!" Calvin said.

"Give the man a medal." MTM said.

"Shut up." Calvin growled.

He looked around the lab, confused.

"But... who would...?"

"That would be me." Came a cold voice, from behind Calvin.

Calvin froze.

He recognized that voice all to well.

He wheeled around, and faced...

Holographic Retro.

"RETRO!!" Calvin shouted, backing up. "What are you doing here?!"

Retro stared at him for a long time.

"Killing you. What do you think I'm doing?" He said, his brow furrowing.

"I know that," Calvin said. "I mean how did you get here?"

"Oh, just stumbled upon it when I was plotting your destruction." Retro said, looking around. "Nice place. Needed some fine tuning though. Luckily, I was here."

Retro laughed, evilly.

Calvin blinked.

Retro stopped laughing and smirked at Calvin.

"Uhhh..." Calvin began

"You'd have to be evil to get it." Retro said.

"Oh."

"I see you've also met my little pets." Retro chuckled, walking back to a giant computer monitor, and typing a few things into a keyboard.

"What did you do with friends and not friends, Larry!" He growled, aiming the MTM at him.

"What? Oh, you mean them?"

Retro flipped a switch on the panel before him.

A light suddenly came on in a dark corner of the room.

Calvin looked around.

Then, he gasped.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Mom, Dad, Miss Wormwood, Susie, and everyone else were floating in a giant glass cube filled with...

"You put them in uncooked oatmeal?" He asked, turning to Retro, and raising his eyebrow.

Retro stared at him for a long moment.

"It's _called_ stasis." He said, blandly. "My plan was to replace everyone you knew with robotic replicas."

Retro turned, and began typing into a keyboard on the panel before him, again.

"The robots are programmed to wait for the exact right moment, when they're close enough at you and there's no witnesses. Then they strike. Nobody knows what happened when I take the robots away and put _them _back, and I send a robotic you to take your place once your dead!"

"Well you're little tinker toy came out a little too early." Calvin said, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, I know." Retro sighed. "I have a few glitches to work out."

"_A few?_" Calvin shouted. "That thing was destroying my house!!"

"Right, it was doing exactly what it was programmed to do." Retro said. "Act like you."

Calvin glared at him.

"And what about all the weird things happening with my inventions, the ceiling fans, and the car alarms?" He demanded.

"Well, I'm broadcasting a single signal to all the robots I have out there!" Retro said. "Every now and then it gets caught in a telephone line or something, causing anything electrical around it to malfunction. It's a mere side effect."

Retro chuckled to himself and flipped a switch on his panel.

Calvin noticed.

"Look, pal," He warned. "I don't want to hurt you! So I suggest that you..."

"Are you under the impression that your getting out of this?" Retro asked, advancing over Calvin. "Just because you've found me doesn't mean I'm stopping. Besides," He leaned against the console. "How can _you_ hurt _me?_ I'm merely a hologram. I'm not even _real._"

"With this," Calvin growled, holding the MTM up. "This invention of mine can rip every part of your molecular structure to pieces. If you like being holographic, I suggest that you let my friends and not friends go, get those stupid robots out of my town, and get the heck out of here!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Actually, my lasers don't work on holograms." MTM said, suddenly. "Hardlight or not."

Calvin sighed.

"Thanks, MTM. I wasn't going to tell him that." He said.

"Sorry." MTM replied.

Retro grinned.

"OK, fine." Calvin said, lowering the MTM. "Let's hear more, then. I have all day!"

"Well, I don't." Retro said, checking his watch. "So I'm just going to kill you, now, and get on with my plan."

"You don't say?" Calvin said. "And how do you propose to go about that, huh?"

"You just keep on talking, don't you?" Retro asked.

"I'm not letting you get the last word in." Calvin said, crossing his arms.

Retro rolled his eyes, and held his hand up.

He snapped his fingers.

_SNAP!_

_VROOOOM!!_

Calvin looked around.

All of a sudden, hundreds of robots, each one wearing a disguise of Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Mom, Dad, Susie, and everyone else, which were stationed around the lab, sprang life.

"Hello, Calvin it is time to build character." A Dad robot said, expressionlessly.

"Hello, Calvin, would you like to come and play house with me?" A Susie robot said, monotonously.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." A Socrates robot said, blandly.

"Where'd they come from?!" Calvin demanded, backing up and looking around in terror.

"They were there the whole time, didn't you see them?" MTM asked.

Retro nodded.

Calvin glared at them.

The robots all stood there for a moment, staring off into space.

Then, they all stared marching in sync with each other towards Calvin.

"I'm switching to plan B." Retro said, leaning against his desk. "These particular robots are programmed to destroy anything that moves."

Calvin turned a glare onto Retro.

"What about you!" He growled. "You're going to be destroyed as well!"

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" Retro grinned.

He reached up, and pushed the H on his forehead.

_ZZZZIIIIP!_

Immediately, Retro's lightbee absorbed the hologram, and then fell to the ground, motionless.

Calvin stared at it.

"Phooey." He muttered.

Then, he whirled back to the robots.

"MTM!" He shouted as they advanced. "Activate the Defense Feature! Full power!"

"Right-o." MTM said.

The end of the MTM began glowing bright red, and it began humming loudly.

_**BLAAAAAAST!!!**_

There was a large explosion of lights, destroying ten or twenty of the robots.

Calvin backed up to the console.

Several more still coming towards him.

"Fire two!!" He shouted.

_**BLAAAAAASST!!**_

There was another explosion from the tip of the MTM, wiping out another chunk of the robots. But it wasn't nearly enough.

A robot Socrates reached forward, and made a grab for Calvin.

"Fire three!" Calvin shouted. "And clear a way for me to get through!"

_**ZEEEEE-AAAAAP!!**_

This time the blast was concentrated straight forward, wiping out a path for Calvin to go through.

Quickly, he raced in between the machines, and came to the other side of the lab.

The robots stopped.

They turned, and started marching after him.

Calvin backed up, firing the MTM wildly at them.

_**BOOM!!**_

_**BOOM!!!**_

_**BOOM!!**_

_**BOOM!!!**_

_**BOOM!!**_

Calvin backed up into the wall, still firing.

"MTM, we need a new plan of action!!"

"You don't say?" MTM replied.

"What do we do?" Calvin asked, looking around frantically.

The robots advanced over Calvin.

Just then, Calvin spotted something in the corner of the lab.

It was a small black box. It had a blinking red light on it, and it was attached to the ceiling with wires and a cable.

Calvin's eyes went from the box, to the robots, then back to the box.

A wide, devious grin spread across his face.

The robots closed in on him.

Calvin held the MTM over his head, and pushed a button.

Another blast of red light shot from the tip of the MTM, and rocketed towards the small black box.

_**KAAA-BOOOOM!!**_

The robots stopped.

Calvin looked around.

For a long throbbing moment, the robots just stood there, staring off into space, and remaining perfectly still.

Then, one of the Andy bots began to slouch forward.

With a loud crash, it fell to the ground, and several of the pieces fell apart.

Several other robots began slouching too.

_CRASH!!_

_CRASH!!_

_CRASH!!_

_CRASH!!_

Calvin watched, silently as the robots all individually began switching off, and falling to the floor.

MTM observed too.

"What did you do?" He asked, scanning the area.

Calvin looked around.

"I... I think I destroyed the transmitter..." He said, looking around all the fallen robots.

There was a moment of silence.

Just then, a humming began emitting from the other side of the lab.

Calvin looked around.

Retro's lightbee was glowing.

Then, suddenly, the hardlight hologram popped out of it.

He looked around the laboratory.

Then, his eyes fell onto Calvin.

"I guess I was kind of expecting that." He sighed, leaning against the console.

Calvin grinned at him.

"Very well," Retro said, reaching over to the panel, and flipping a small compartment open. "Plan C, then."

"Oh no!" Calvin yelled, aiming the MTM at him. "No more plan switches, you holographic freak! I destroyed the transmitter! Your little robots are gone!"

Retro glared at him.

Then, a wide evil grin spread across his face.

"Calvin, do you know what Plan C is?" He asked. "It has nothing to do with robots, I'll tell you that."

Calvin stared at him.

"It has _everything_ to do with the self destruct feature in this place! Which I am activating, now!" Retro slammed his fist into a large red button.

Suddenly an alarm went off, and a red light on the ceiling began flashing.

"BRAINSTORM LAB TO EXPLODE IN THIRTY SECONDS!!" Came a cool robotic voice from a speaker on the ceiling.

"Goodbye, Calvin!" Retro cackled. "Goodbye, forever!"

And with that, Retro pushed the "H" on his forehead again.

The lightbee absorbed the hologram, then zipped past Calvin and out the air vent.

The lightbee then emerged over all the deactivated robots, and then flew off towards the forest away from the town.

Calvin watched him go, blankly.

There was a pause.

"Uh, Calvin?" MTM asked. "Place is gonna blow up in ten seconds. Or did you did you not register that?"

Calvin turned a grin onto the MTM.

"It's not going to explode, MTM," He chuckled.

"I see. So they changed the meaning of the words 'self destruct' in the last fifteen minutes that I've been alive?" MTM asked.

"No," Calvin said, looking up "But keep in mind that this is _Dr Brainstorm's_ old lab."

"Aaaahh," MTM said, realizing what Calvin meant.

"BRAINSTORM LAB TO BE DESTROYED IN FIVE... FOUR... THREE... TWO... ONE..."

_ZZZZZT!_

A spark went off on the right hand corner of the ceiling, then... nothing.

"So there you have it." Calvin grinned, looking around. "If Brainstorm wanted the place to blow up, it wouldn't blow up. If he didn't want it to blow up, it would blow up. It's called 'Brainstorm psychology'."

"Very nice." MTM said.

"Now, let's get Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates out of that oatmeal over there." Calvin said, walking over to the glass cube.

"It's called stasis." MTM sighed.

"Whatever."

* * *

Hobbes' eyes popped open. 

He looked around.

The last thing he knew, the robots had grabbed him and then he was suddenly laying in this grassy field.

Actually, it was the grass in the Calvinball field.

Hobbes blinked his eyes, and tried to figure out what was going on.

Then, he remembered the robots.

He bolted upward.

"AAAA!!" He screamed, looking around. "ROBOTS!! THEY WERE ROBOTS!! Where am I?!"

"Hobbes calm down!" Andy said, holding his hands up.

Hobbes stared at Andy.

Then, his eyes went to Calvin, Socrates and Sherman.

"Wh—where am I?" Hobbes asked, rubbing his head.

"Well, while you were taking a nap in raw pastry, I just saved the world from a deadly force. Again." Calvin said, crossing his arms. "You have the MTM to thank for getting you out of that thing."

Hobbes turned, and looked over his shoulder.

MTM was sitting on a tree stump, his manipulator arms were out and activated, and he was getting ready to fish out the rest of people in the giant glass cube before him.

"Morning, Hobbes," He said, dully.

Hobbes stared at him.

"What... What just happened?" He asked, looking back at Calvin. "I was coming to the house to warn you, and the robots..."

"I got everything under control, Hobbes, just relax." Calvin said, holding his hand up. "The robots are gone."

Andy nodded.

"He told me the whole story. It was Holographic Retro behind it, he..."

"We still have to go pick up all the robots, though." Calvin said, pointing towards the town. "There was one for every person in the city."

There was a long moment of silence.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all stared at Calvin, blankly.

"I'm not cleaning them up, alone." Calvin growled, dangerously.

MTM sighed, and reached in to get another person out of the stasis.

Calvin saw him.

"MTM!! WAIT!!" He shouted, suddenly, running forward.

"What?" MTM asked, sticking his metal arm into the stasis, again.

"We don't have to wake _everyone_ up, yet!" He said. "After all, _we..._"

He turned a glare onto Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, and Sherman.

"_We_ have to fix my house up a little bit, so my parents don't flip out when they wake up!" Calvin said. "Those dead robots littering the street are pretty noticeable, too!"

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all looked at each other.

They all sighed.

MTM took his arms out of the cube, and they were absorbed back into his hypercube.

"Whatever." He yawned.

"In fact," Calvin grinned, looking back towards the house. "Maybe we should leave everyone in there for a little longer. There's supposed to be a really stupid, violent movie about haunted houses coming on tonight on FX! And it's only PG-13!"

"Oooh, fun!" Socrates yelled, cheerfully. "We can watch it on my big screen back at home with the surround sound and everything! That way we can hear everyone's screams for mercy more vividly!"

"COOL!" Calvin shouted.

"Uh, OK," Hobbes said, unsurely.

"Sure." Andy said, cheerfully.

"Whatever," Sherman said, his attention wandering.

"What do you say, MTM?" Calvin asked, turning to the CD player. "You want to be terrified and scared for life?!"

"Sure, don't have anything better to do." MTM said.

"GREAT!!!" Calvin yelled.

He turned to the several people still stuck in stasis.

"We'll let you out when we're good and ready!" He said to them.

And with that, Calvin grabbed MTM, and he Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman ran off.

Off on another adventure.

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon **Calvin / Robot Calvin  
**Tom Hanks **Hobbes / Robot Hobbes  
**Ryan Stiles **Socrates / Robot Socrates  
**Andrew Lawrence **Andy / Robot Andy  
**Colin Mochrie **Sherman / Robot Sherman  
**Norman Lovett **MTM  
**Dakota Fanning **Robot Susie  
**Jennifer Love Hewitt** Mom / Robot Mom / Brainstorm's robotic announcer  
**Bill Murray** Robot Dad  
**Kurtwood Smith** Holographic Retro  
**Mary Jo Cattlett** Robot Miss Wormwood  
**Elizabeth Daily **Robot Moe  
**Daveigh Chase** Robot Rosalyn

* * *

**Coming up Next: ** A Day in Your Shoes 


	24. A Day in Your Shoes

**Summary: **Jack and his cousinswitch places with Brainstorm and Sheila for a day.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
__Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**A Day in Your Shoes**

Dr Brainstorm was loading up his rocket one afternoon while Jack watched in the corner.

"I'm going to take a daring verbal leap here and ask what we're doing today," he said, leaning against the wall.

Dr Brainstorm whipped around and grinned insanely.

"Jack, we're finally going to destroy Calvin!" he shouted.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Again?" he sighed.

"INDEED! Today's the day, Jack!"

"Today's been the day for about six weeks now, hasn't it?"

"SHUT UP! WE'RE GONNA BLOW THE PUNK AND HIS ROBOT TO BITS!"

"He's not a robot."

"Whatever. Anyway, I've managed to upgrade my leaf blower into a fully working bazooka!"

Brainstorm held up the leaf blower. It was now decked up to look completely like a bazooka. Whether or not it would actually work was left to be seen.

"What do you plan to do? Muss up his hair?" Jack asked.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"You'll just have to wait and see," he sniffed, sticking his nose in the air.

He tossed the weapon into the rocket, and then he started climbing in.

Jack just stood there.

There was a pause.

"GET IN HERE!" Brainstorm bellowed.

Jack heaved an annoyed sigh and climbed inside the rocket.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were in the bedroom. Calvin was reading one of his dinosaur books while Hobbes was trying to take a nap.

"Hey! You wanna play dinosaurs!" Calvin asked, looking up from his book. "I could play the ferocious T-Rex, and_ you_ can be the mighty brontosaurus!"

"That's not what it's called anymore," Hobbes said, not looking up.

Calvin stared at him.

"Whaddya mean!" he demanded.

"The scientists changed the name," Hobbes said. "It's not called a brontosaurus."

Calvin's jaw dropped.

"What!" he cried. "But how will Fred Flintstone get his Brontosaurus Burgers now!"

Hobbes shrugged.

"Man, science has to mess with everything fun," he sighed.

Then Hobbes' acute hearing picked up something.

"What's that?" he asked, looking up.

"What's what?" Calvin asked, putting his book away.

"It sounds like a plane of some sort flying incredibly low."

Calvin arched an eyebrow and looked outside the window.

"Hand me the binoculars," he ordered.

Hobbes handed him a pair of black binoculars.

Calvin held them up to his eyes and searched the skies. Then he groaned.

"Aw man…," he sighed.

"What is it?"

"It's Dr Brainstorm again."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Huh boy, here we go."

The rocket was now approaching the house. It managed to stop and land in the backyard.

"I'm surprised the neighbors aren't curious as to why that thing has been landing there for the past few months," he commented.

Calvin shrugged and went downstairs, Hobbes following him.

They arrived at the front door and waited with their arms crossed and bored expressions on their faces.

_**WHAM!**_

Dr Brainstorm kicked the door open and aimed the leaf blower at them.

"AH HA! CALVIN! I SEE YOU ARE TAKEN BY COMPLETE SURPRISE!" he shouted.

"I'm absolutely shocked, Dr B," Calvin sighed.

Hobbes yawned.

Jack appeared behind Dr Brainstorm.

"Hey, guys," he said, waving.

"Hi, Jack," said Hobbes.

"JACK! STOP INTERACTING WITH THE ENEMY!" Dr Brainstorm shouted.

Jack rolled his eyes.

Calvin saw what Dr Brainstorm was holding.

"The leaf blower again? You're running low on ideas, aren't you, Frank?"

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_ I'll have you know that this thing has been long since upgraded since our last encounter!"

"That was, what, yesterday?" asked Jack.

"SHUT UP!"

Suddenly…

_**BAM!**_

Calvin, Hobbes, Dr Brainstorm and Jack jumped in surprise.

They all looked at the wall next to the door. Something had crashed into it.

"What the heck…?" said Calvin.

Finally, the wall cracked and dissolved from the impact of the crash. It tumbled away to reveal…

"_SHEILA!_" everyone shouted.

Indeed, Dr Brainstorm's younger sister, Sheila, was standing there, holding a gun similar to Brainstorm's.

Jack groaned.

"Oh no…," he moaned, his head in his hands.

"SHEILA! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" Brainstorm shouted.

"_I'M HERE TO DESTROY THE ALIEN BOY AND HIS ROBOT!_" Sheila shouted, even louder.

"I'm not a robot!" Hobbes shouted.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Why'd you break my wall?" Calvin demanded.

"FRANK AND JACK WERE IN THE WAY OF THE DOOR! I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO SAY 'EXCUSE ME'!" Sheila shouted.

Jack shook his head and walked away.

Calvin and Hobbes watched the Brainstorms yelling.

"YOU WERE _ALWAYS_ THE INFERIOR ONE!" Dr Brainstorm shouted.

"INFERIOR, AM I! PROVE IT!" Sheila shouted back.

"I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE INVENTIONS! I BUILT ALL YOUR WEAPONS! _I'M THE ONE WHO HAD TO MAKE YOUR ROBOT ASSISTANT!_"

"Sheila has a robot assistant?" Calvin asked.

"YES!" Brainstorm shouted. "AND I HAVE YET TO BE THANKED FOR BUILDING HER!"

"Her!" Hobbes asked.

Since the Brainstorms were too busy yelling, Calvin and Hobbes slunk past them and approached Jack who was waiting outside.

"Jack, what's this we hear about Sheila having a robot assistant?" Hobbes asked.

"Oh yeah, Frank built Sheila a robot when she moved out of their parents' house," Jack said. "She's essentially my cousin."

"Where is she?" Calvin asked. "We'd like to meet her."

Jack paused.

"Well, I dunno," he said. "She's a little different from me. I'm not too sure you two would like her as much."

"Well, let's give her a fair chance," Hobbes said. "Where is she?"

Jack nodded and looked around.

"Jacqueline?" he called.

"_Jacqueline?_" Calvin repeated.

Suddenly, a robot ran up.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at her in surprise.

"Did she just _run_ to us?" Hobbes asked.

"Hello!" the robot said cheerfully.

Jacqueline was tall and silver like Jack, but she had a smaller nose and was built a bit more feminine-like.

"You're Jack's cousin!" Calvin asked.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," she said, shaking Calvin's hand.

"How come we didn't see you the other two times Sheila was here?" Calvin asked.

"Oh, she likes to think she doesn't need the help of a robot, but I think she needs the companionship," she said.

"Yeah," said Jack. "Frank's a lot more at ease with his dependence on me."

"So, Jacqueline, what do you do?"

"I spend most of my time working on stuff, going out for hikes, and I enjoy swimming," she said.

Calvin stared at her, and then at Jack.

"She's_ your _cousin!" he asked, still surprised.

Jack shrugged.

"Yeah, we have our differences, but we're still pals," he said, putting an arm around Jacqueline's shoulders.

"Wanna go for a five mile run!" Jacqueline asked.

"Are you sure you don't wanna watch TV?" Jack asked.

"How about we just drink soda until we're sick?"

"You're on."

They both pulled out twin cans of soda and leaned against the rocket.

Calvin and Hobbes grinned.

"Oh, _now_ I see it," Hobbes chuckled.

"JACQUELINE! GET IN HERE! I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO!" Sheila shouted.

"Coming!" Jacqueline shouted. She turned to the others. "I'll be right back. This shouldn't take too long."

She hurried over to Sheila.

"Is everything okay, Sheila?" she asked.

"GET THIS STUPID BROTHER OF MINE OUT HERE! I NEED TO DESTROY THE ALIEN BOY!" Sheila screeched.

"HE'S NOT AN ALIEN!" Dr Brainstorm shouted back.

Jacqueline picked Dr Brainstorm up.

"HEY! RELEASE ME!" he shouted.

"Sorry. I'm just following the orders of Sheila the Screech Queen," Jacqueline muttered. She carried Dr Brainstorm out of the house.

"PUT ME DOWN!"

Calvin and Hobbes watched as she walked by.

"I'm impressed," Calvin said. "Hobbes, let's take care of the other Brainstorm."

"Agreed," said Hobbes.

They walked back inside the house.

After a few seconds, Sheila went sailing out of the house and landed in the grass.

"Hey!" she shouted. "HOW DARE YOU! I OUGHTA POUND YOU!"

Jack watched as she tried to go back inside, but she couldn't unlock the door. Calvin and Hobbes watched from the hole in the wall, wondering why she didn't just go through there.

After a few seconds, she grew bored.

"FINE!" she shouted. "I'LL BE BACK FOR YOUR TRANSMITTER, YOU ALIEN!"

And with that, she stormed away.

"AND YOU!" she shouted, pointing at Dr Brainstorm and Jack. "YOU JUST STAY OUT OF MY WAY!"

"HEY, HE WAS _MY_ ENEMY FIRST!" Brainstorm shouted back.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Frank," he said. "Let's go home. You can make new plans there, and screw everything up in a new and original way."

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_"

They climbed back into the rocket, and they took off for Yellowstone again.

"JACQUELINE!" Sheila ordered. "TAKE ME HOME!"

"Right away, your incredibly loud majesty," Jacqueline sighed.

Taking a swig from her soda, Jacqueline hoisted Sheila up on her back and carried her away.

"WHEEEEEE! FASTER! FASTER! GIDDYAP!" Sheila cheered.

And they disappeared down the street.

Calvin and Hobbes watched.

"Well, that was more exciting than I thought it would be," said Calvin.

"Maybe we should do something about this wall before your parents get home," Hobbes suggested.

"Hmmm… You might be on to something."

* * *

The next day, Calvin and Hobbes were playing in the sandbox. They had fixed the wall yesterday, and they were now playing with Calvin's toy trucks.

As they played, they heard a shout.

"ALRIGHT, CALVIN AND HIS ROBOTIC TIGER! YOUR MINUTES ARE NUMBERED!"

They both groaned and looked up.

"Not again," Calvin sighed.

Dr Brainstorm was now standing before them, holding his Servant Ray.

Jack stood behind him, drinking some lemonade and leaning against a tree.

"SURRENDER YOUR INVENTIONS TO ME AT ONCE!" Dr Brainstorm ordered.

"Uh-huh," said Hobbes. "How about you just go home and take a nap."

"Precisely what I said, Frank," Jack said. "You really should take up meditation."

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_"

But just when Brainstorm was about to attack, something landed on the other side of the sandbox.

They all stared at it.

"Sheila!" Calvin asked.

Just then, Jacqueline ran up.

"Hey, everyone!" she said.

"Hi, Jacqueline," said Jack, waving.

"JACQUELINE! HELP ME UP!" Sheila shouted from the ground.

Jacqueline complied and helped her to her feet.

"THANK YOU! NOW GET OFF OF ME!" she shouted.

"You're welcome," Jacqueline sighed, pulling out some lemonade and leaning against the fence.

"SHEILA! STOP IT! I'M IN CHARGE OF THIS ATTACK!" Dr Brainstorm shouted.

"MAKE ME!" Sheila retorted.

"GO AWAY!"

"NO!"

"GO!"

"NO!"

"GO!"

"NO!"

Calvin and Hobbes watched them bicker for a while before they got bored.

Finally, Calvin pulled the MTM out and pushed a button.

_**BEEP!**_

"AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHH!" the Brainstorms shouted.

Brainstorm flew through the air in way direction, and Sheila flew in the other.

"See you guys later," said Jack. "Bye, Jacqueline."

"Bye, Jack," said Jacqueline.

And she ran after Sheila.

Jack just walked off.

Calvin and Hobbes sighed and went back to their games.

* * *

Brainstorm stormed around the lab angrily.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE SHEILA!" Brainstorm shouted. "SHE IS _CONSTANTLY_ INTERRUPTING MY ATTEMPTS TO DESTROY CALVIN AND HOBBES!"

Jack was watching from the wall he was leaning against.

"Some people…," he said sarcastically, shaking his head.

"Exactly! She must be punished for these deeds! But how!"

Then he realized something. A dark expression clouded his face.

"Jack, prepare every single invention I own," he said.

"What for?"

"Because this…_is war!_" he said mysteriously.

* * *

A few days later, Calvin and Hobbes were coming to the Calvinball field carrying volleyball and a bunch of other sporting equipment.

"Nice day today for a game of Calvinball," Calvin commented.

"Yep, the sun is shining, the grass is soft, the birds are singing, Dr Brainstorm and Sheila have a giant pile of inventions at either end of the field…," Hobbes said, trailing off as he realized what he was saying.

They both dropped everything they were carrying in shock.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at two giants stacks of inventions. There was one at either ends of the field.

"What the heck is going on!" Calvin demanded.

At that moment, Jack and Jacqueline came walking up to them.

"Hey guys," Jack said.

"Hello," said Jacqueline.

"What're those numbskulls doing in our field!" Calvin demanded.

"Yeah, sorry about that," said Jacqueline. "They're sort of engaged in battle."

"WHAT!" Calvin and Hobbes shrieked.

"A-yup," said Jack, pulling out a soda and sitting down on a rock. "It should be a good show."

"What if they get hurt?" asked Jacqueline.

"All the more fun."

Calvin and Hobbes groaned.

Then they heard Dr Brainstorm talking over a megaphone.

"ALL RIGHT, SHEILA!" he shouted. "PREPARE TO BE RENDERED UNCONSCIOUS!"

Sheila replied through her own megaphone.

"VERY WELL, BROTHER! PREPARE TO BE BEATEN WITHIN A FOOT OF YOUR LIFE!"

And with that, there was a loud explosion.

_**WHAM!**_

Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline watched as two missiles flew into the air and collided with each other.

"Wow," said Calvin.

"This could take a while," said Hobbes. "Anyone want to go back to our house?"

"Sure," said Jacqueline.

"Meh," said Jack.

They all left the Brainstorms to their war.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes watched television, and in the kitchen, Jack and Jacqueline were drinking cans of soda and jugs of lemonade.

"Sometimes I wonder why I bother with Sheila," said Jacqueline between gulps. "I mean, she has absolutely no respect for me, she's constantly trying to pick a fight, and she gets uptight over anything that doesn't go her way."

"Pfft. That's nothing," said Jack. "Frank never says thank you, he always makes me do the dangerous stuff, he always cowers when something goes slightly wrong, and he's always making stuff that blows up my stuff."

"Honestly," Jacqueline sighed. "Which of the Brainstorms is more insane?"

"Well, I'd aim towards their mother. She's not exactly Ms Manners."

"I meant the ones _we_ work for."

"I prefer the term 'with'," Jack said, taking a swig of soda.

"Whatever! I say we find out once and for all which of our Brainstorms is the most insane."

Jack nodded.

"But how do we do that?" he asked.

Hobbes walked up and started getting things out of the fridge.

"Dare I ask what you two are talking about?" he asked.

"We're trying to figure out which one of our Brainstorms is more insane," said Jack. "Frank or Sheila."

Hobbes shrugged.

"Well, they both have points that exceed over the other," he said, pulling out some bread. "Perhaps you should actually experiment on this."

"How do you mean?" asked Jacqueline.

"Well, you two are sort of the same shape. Maybe you could swap places for a few days and see how the other half lives."

Jack and Jacqueline exchanged glances.

"It might work," said Jacqueline.

"I dunno…," Jack said unsurely. "I'm not sure I could move in with Sheila."

"Oh, it'll be okay! We could switch back at any time!"

Jack paused for a moment.

"Well…I guess we could try it," he decided.

They both got up from the table.

"We're going to go check on the war," said Jack.

"Have a nice day," said Hobbes, who finished his sandwich's construction. He quickly began to devour it.

* * *

Jack and Jacqueline arrived back at the Calvinball field, only to find it was littered with all sorts of junk.

They hurried over to Dr Brainstorm, who was loading whatever he could back into his hypercube. He was a burnt charred mess.

"Hey, Frank, how'd the war go?"

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_" he shouted. "Nobody won. We only blew up each other's stuff until we ran out of weapons. What a waste."

"Indeed," Jack sighed. "Say, I don't suppose you'd be willing to let Jacqueline stay with you, would you?"

Dr Brainstorm sighed.

"Oh, just what I _don't_ need," he groaned. "Another worthless robot that constantly annoys me."

There was a pause.

"Is that a yes?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, why not?" Brainstorm sighed, putting his hypercube in his pocket. "But you'll have to share a room. Our guest room blew up last week."

"Oh, actually, she can have my room," Jack said. "I'm going home with Sheila."

Brainstorm stared at him horror.

"What! NO, JACK! YOU CAN'T! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S LIKE!"

"She insane."

There was a pause.

"OKAY, SO YOU _DO_ KNOW WHAT SHE'S LIKE! BUT IT'S FAR TOO DANGEROUS!"

"Will you please relax?" Jacqueline asked. "We're conducting an experiment."

Dr Brainstorm stared at her.

"You're…experimenting?"

The two robots nodded.

Brainstorm grinned.

"Well, Jack, I see that I'm finally rubbing off on you," he said proudly.

"Eew, what a disgusting thought," Jack said.

Brainstorm scowled at him.

"Alright, fine, you can do it," he said. "But only for the sake of science and curiosity."

"Thank you," Jack said.

"We just have one problem."

"What's that?" asked Jacqueline.

"How are we going to convince Sheila to go through with this?"

Just the Sheila stormed up, and she was an equal mess.

"THIS ISN'T OVER YET, BROTHER!" she shouted. "WE'LL CONTINUE THIS LATER. COME ON, JACQUELINE!"

She grabbed Jack by the arm, thinking he was his cousin, and dragged him away.

Jack waved goodbye to Dr Brainstorm and Jacqueline.

"Huh…," said Dr Brainstorm. "That was easy."

He turned to Jacqueline.

"Come on, you, we're going to Yellowstone."

"Whatever you say, Frank," she said.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_"

* * *

_VROOOOOOM!_

The Brainstorm rocket came in through the lab, and came to a rest on the landing pad.

Brainstorm burst out, screaming insanely.

"OK, JACK! THINGS ARE LOOKING BLEAK! I NEED YOU TO GO TO THE WEAPONRY HOLD AND GATHER EVERYTHING WE HAVE THERE! _JACK! ARE YOU __**LISTENING **__TO ME!_"

Jacqueline walked down from the rocket, sipping lemonade.

"Jacqueline," She corrected.

Brainstorm stared at her.

"What?" He asked.

"I'm Jacqueline, remember?" Jacqueline said.

Brainstorm blinked.

"Oh, right. WELL I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW WE HAVE A FEW GROUND RULES FOR ROBOTS!"

Jacqueline rolled her eyes.

"RULE ONE! DO WHATEVER I TELL YOU TO DO! RULE TWO! _**MY NAME IS DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_ RULE THREE!"

He paused.

"Uhh... that's about it." He said.

Jacqueline nodded.

"Now, I'm going to be in the main lab inventing something _HORRIBLE _that will defeat that stupid sister of mine, so that she'll stop bugging me and I can _TAKE OVER THE WORLD!_"

Brainstorm threw his hands into the air and laughed insanely.

Jacqueline blinked.

Brainstorm turned back to her.

"Oh and if the invention blows up in my face, you have to save me. _**GOT IT!**_"

"Sure, Frank." Jacqueline nodded, cheerfully.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_" Brainstorm screeched.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sheila and Jack had just arrived back at Sheila's lab.

In case you're wondering, it wasn't that different from Brainstorm's lab.

There was a giant computer in the main lab with a console surrounding the room. There were inventions littering the ground and there were blue tiles laid out on the floor.

"OK, JACQUELINE!" Sheila screeched. "THAT STUPID BROTHER OF MINE IS PROBABLY STOCKING UP ON _THOUSANDS _OF WEAPONS RIGHT NOW!"

"Yes, I'm sure he is," Jack said, rolling his eyes.

Sheila whipped around to him.

"SO WE MUST DO THE SAME! JACQUELINE, I NEED YOU TO GATHER ALL OUR WEAPONS TOGETHER AND BRING THEM TO ME! _NOW I SAY! NOW! __**WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR!**_"

"That's just fine and dandy, Sheila," Jack yawned. "I get right on that after I get a drink. Where do you keep your Pepsis?"

Sheila stared at Jack for a long moment.

"Uh, there in the fridge, where I always keep them. _WHY!__**IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR INTERNAL MEMORY DRIVE!**_"

"No, I was just testing you," Jack said, casually, strolling past Sheila.

Sheila glared at him as he walked into the kitchen.

"AND WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOUR VOICE!" She screamed after him.

Uh huh.

* * *

Hobbes came walking into the living room, holding a plate of tuna with him.

He sat down next to Calvin, who was watching TV, silently.

"So what's the update with Frank and Sheila?" Calvin asked.

"Oh, well, as far as I know, they're still at war." Hobbes said. "Jack and his cousin are trying something out, though."

"Really? What?" Calvin asked.

"Well, they've switched places with Brainstorm and Sheila." Hobbes said. "Just a little experiment to see which one is more insane."

"Huh," Calvin said.

"They've set me in charge of keeping score," Hobbes said. "When the two lunatics attack, again, they'll tell me all the things that happened, then I'll record them, and read them off at the end of the experiment to see which Brainstorm is worse than the other."

"Uh huh," Calvin said. "Really, is there much of a point to that?"

There was a pause.

"Uh... well, scientific curiosity, I suppose," Hobbes said, finally.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

* * *

"OK, Jacqueline," Brainstorm hissed, rooting through all the junk before him. "Since that stupid sister of mine thinks that she can destroy Calvin and Hobbes without my say so, we need to think of a _BRILLIANT_ plan to stop her so that _I_ can destroy them!"

"Uh huh," Jacqueline said, sipping on a Pepsi.

"I know it will be tough to plot against your own owner but..."

He paused.

"Well, I'm telling you to. _**SO LIVE WITH IT!**_"

"I'm sure I'll be able to," Jacqueline said.

"Good," Brainstorm said, whipping around and picking up a tall pile of paper. "These are all the plans I came up with to defeat her! You go through it, and decide which one is best!"

He handed it to Jacqueline.

Jacqueline set the pile down, and picked up the first piece of paper.

"Launch her into space," She read.

"Right, have her orbit the Earth for a few minutes, and by the time she comes back, millions of years will have past on Earth!" Brainstorm nodded.

Jacqueline rolled her eyes.

She looked at the next piece of paper.

"Trap her in stasis." She read.

"For a few million years and then have the machine let her out!" Brainstorm yelled, throwing his arms into the air.

"Isn't that essentially the same as the other plan?" Jacqueline asked, looking up at Brainstorm.

"No," Brainstorm said, simply.

Jacqueline sighed, picked up the next one, and read over it.

"OK, I pick this one," She said, tapping the paper.

Brainstorm took it.

"Keep returning to Calvin and Hobbes' house, and battling her randomly." He read.

"There," Jacqueline said, starting to jog in place. "Now, I'm going to go on walk. Let me know if you need anything else."

Brainstorm stood there, confused, as Jacqueline ran off, whistling a tune.

* * *

"JACQUELINE!" Sheila screeched, insanely. "GET IN HERE!"

Jack strolled into the main lab, sipping on a Pepsi.

"Yo," He said.

"DON'T YOU 'YO' ME!" Sheila screamed, flailing her arms in all directions.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Now, that stupid brother of mine is trying to destroy that alien boy and his robot!"

"Calvin isn't an alien and Hobbes isn't a robot," Jack said.

"_I'm _rightfully the one who should destroy them _BECAUSE I WANT TO!_"

Jack buried his face into his hand.

"Therefore, I need you to come up with a _BRILLIANT_ plan to defeat that idiotic brother of mine! SO GET THINKING!"

"Can't you do that?" Jack asked, rolling his eyes.

"_**I SAID GET THINKING!**_" Sheila screeched.

"Whatever," Jack said. "I say you and him should continue to randomly attack each other at Calvin and Hobbes' house."

There was a long moment of silence.

Sheila stared at him.

Then a wide grin spread across her face.

"JACQUELINE, I'M A GENIUS!" She screamed.

Jack heaved a sigh.

"THANKS TO MY GENIUS MIND, I NOW KNOW WHAT TO DO TO DEFEAT MY BROTHER!"

"Uh huh," Jack said.

"IT'S SO INCREDIBLY SIMPLE I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF IT BEFORE!"

"I do." Jack said.

"_**WHAT!**_" Sheila screamed.

"Can I go, now?" Jack said.

"_**NO!**_" Sheila shrieked.

"Good," Jack walked out of the room, with Sheila screaming after him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jacqueline was doing some yoga in the lab while Brainstorm was inventing some weapon to defeat Sheila with.

He paid no attention to Jacqueline as he worked.

Jacqueline reached for her bottle of lemonade, and attempted to take a sip from it, only to realize that it was empty.

"Hmm, I'm out," She observed, looking at the bottle.

She got out of the yoga position she was in, stood up, and walked into the kitchen.

She threw the bottle into the garbage, and took another one out of the fridge.

She took the lid off, and took a long drink from it.

Then, she turned, and walked back into the main lab with it.

Her eyes popped open as she entered the lab.

Brainstorm's invention had, predictably, blown up, and there was now a raging fire on the computer console.

Brainstorm was running around in circles, the top corner of his hair on fire, and he was screaming.

"HELP! FIRE! ALL MY STUFF IS ON FIRE! HELP!" He screamed, flailing his arms in all directions.

Jacqueline stared at Brainstorm in shock as he ran through the lab, screaming.

Then, she dropped her bottle of lemonade, and rushed back into the kitchen.

She grabbed a box of baking soda out of the fridge, and rushed back into the lab.

She ran over to the computer console, and dumped contents of the box onto it.

The fire slowly died, and Jacqueline grabbed the fire extinguisher off the shelf nearby and turned to Brainstorm.

_PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!_

"AAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Brainstorm stumbled over, and fires on him went out.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Is that routine?" She panted, wiping sweat from her brow.

"Yes," Brainstorm growled.

Jacqueline rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I think you're the more insane one," She muttered under her breath.

He stood up, and shook the foam off him.

Then, he stared at the console.

"HEY!" He screamed.

"What?" Jacqueline asked.

"MY BAKING SODA!" He screamed, hysterically. "WHY DID YOU USE _BAKING SODA_ TO PUT THE FIRE OUT? _THAT COST ME MONEY!_"

"Electrical fire." Jacqueline said. "You're not supposed to use water on those."

There was another moment of silence.

"Oh," Brainstorm said, finally.

Jacqueline rolled her eyes.

* * *

"JACQUELINE!" Sheila screamed, frantically. "WHERE ARE YOU!"

"I'm right here," Jack sighed, turning the volume on his ear piece down.

Sheila whipped around.

Jack was sitting in a lounge chair, sipping on a Pepsi, and reading a magazine.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE!" Sheila demanded.

"Reading," Jack said.

"THIS IS THE TIME OF DAY WHEN YOU DO YOUR ROUTINE JOG!" Sheila screamed. "_**WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU, TODAY?**_"

"I'm busy," Jack said, trying not to make eye contact with the insane woman.

"WELL STOP BEING BUSY AND GET OVER HERE! I GOT STUFF FOR YOU TO DO!"

Jack sighed, and set his magazine down.

"Yes, master?" He groaned, standing up.

"THAT'S BETTER!" Sheila screeched.

She pointed at the air vent on the floor.

Jack stared at it.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I DROPPED MY SCREWDRIVER DOWN THERE! _**GO GET IT!**_" Sheila shouted.

"Ya know, you're the kind of people who make the computer revolution thing seem tempting."

"_**I SAID GO GET IT!**_" Sheila screamed.

Jack sighed, and walked over to the air vent.

He took the vent off, and reached inside.

He felt around on the metal floor, but felt nothing.

"It's not down here." He said.

Sheila stared at him.

"What do you mean it's not down there? OF COURSE IT'S DOWN THERE! _**LOOK HARDER!**_"

Jack groaned, and reached further into the vent.

"There's _nothing _down here," He said, glaring at Sheila.

Sheila blinked.

"YES IT IS!" She screamed. "I DROPPED IT DOWN THERE! I ORDER YOU TO LOOK HARDER!"

Jack sighed, and stuck his head into the vent.

He pushed a button on his head, and his eyes began shining like car headlights, lighting up the vent.

He looked up and down the vent, still finding nothing.

"It's not here." He said.

"YES IT IS!" Sheila screamed outside.

Jack rolled his eyes, and began climbing further into the vent.

"You're crazier, without a doubt," He grumbled.

Jack climbed through the vent, looking for Sheila's lost screwdriver.

Sheila stood outside, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Sheila, the screwdriver is not down here," Jack growled. "I'm coming out, now,"

"NO!" Sheila screeched. "STAY THERE UNTIL YOU FIND IT! I AM ORDERING YOU!"

"Yeah, yeah," Jack grumbled, starting to back out of the vent.

He pushed on the floor, trying to get out.

His hands scraped across the floor, and he didn't budge.

He pushed and pushed, unsuccessfully.

"I'm stuck!" He growled, struggling inside the vent. "I can't get out!"

"RIGHT!" Sheila screamed. "YOU CAN'T COME OUT UNTIL YOU FIND MY SCREWDRIVER!"

"No, _I'm stuck!_" Jack repeated. "I can't get out!"

"Right, you can't come out until you've found it." Sheila said.

"Brainstorm, I'm stuck in the air vent!" Jack shouted, finally.

Sheila blinked.

"I can't get out even if I wanted to, because I can't move!" Jack said.

Sheila stared at the vent, blankly.

"I don't know how to make it any simpler for you," Jack growled.

"Did you find my screwdriver?" Sheila asked.

"Forget the screwdriver! I can't get out!" Jack yelled, struggling to get out of the vent.

"So... _no,_ then," Sheila said, her brow furrowing.

"Look, my feet are sticking out of the vent still, would you please pull me out?" Jack sighed.

"Where's my screwdriver!" Sheila shouted, frantically.

Jack slapped his forehead.

"Okay, I found it!" He said, finally. "Could you pull me out, now?"

Sheila paused.

"Oh, whatever," She said, finally.

She walked over, and took hold of Jack's feet.

She gave them a hard yank, and Jack popped out.

"Thanks," Jack growled, annoyed.

Sheila looked up at the computer console.

"Hey!" She said, pointing. "_There's_ my screwdriver! It was there the whole time. _**WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT!**_"

Jack stared at Sheila for a long throbbing moment.

He decided to say nothing.

* * *

Meanwhile, Brainstorm was at his desk, frantically inventing something that might defeat Sheila.

"JACK!" Brainstorm paused. "–queline... WHERE'S MY SCREWDRIVER!"

"I think it's on top of the refrigerator," Jacqueline said, who was currently jogging on a treadmill.

Brainstorm stared at her.

"What's it doing up there?" He demanded.

Jacqueline shrugged.

"WELL GET OFF THAT STUPID TREADMILL AND GET IT FOR ME!" Brainstorm screeched.

Jacqueline sighed, and hopped off the treadmill.

She jogged into the kitchen, extended her legs out to the fridge, and fetched the screwdriver.

Brainstorm stood in the main lab tapping his foot impatiently as Jacqueline came jogging back inside.

"Thanks," Brainstorm grumbled.

"Your welcome," Jacqueline said, sweetly, jogging back to the treadmill.

Brainstorm grumbled to himself, and turned back to the invention.

He applied the screwdriver and went to work.

Then, finally, he threw it aside, and screamed, "I'VE DONE IT! THE DEFEAT-O-MATIC IS COMPLETE! _**I'M A GENIUS!**_"

"Yes, of course you are," Jacqueline said, not looking up.

"AH! FINALLY! RECOGNITION! JACQUELINE! GET INTO THE BRAINSTORM ROCKET! WE'RE GOING TO THAT GRINNING HILL TO DEFEAT SHEILA!"

Jacqueline sighed, and turned the treadmill off.

"How do you know Sheila's going to be there?" She asked.

Brainstorm paused.

"JUST GET INTO THE ROCKET!" He screamed finally.

"OK," Jacqueline sighed, following Brainstorm to the launching pad.

* * *

"JACQUELINE!" Sheila screamed.

"What now?" Jack groaned, looking up from his magazine.

"I've done it!" Sheila screeched, running over to Jack. "I've invented a machine so intensely _powerful _that not even my stupid brother can defeat it!"

"Uh huh," Jack said.

"I CALL IT THE SIBLING DEFEATER!" Sheila screamed, whipping out a large silver gun like device.

"Of course you do," Jack yawned.

"NOW EVERYTHING IS IN PLACE! NOW WE HAVE TO GO THAT GRINNING MOUNTAIN OVER BY THE ALIEN'S HOUSE AND _**DEFEAT THAT STUPID BROTHER OF MINE SO I CAN KILL THE ALIEN BOY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!**_"

"Uh huh," Jack said.

"I ORDER YOU TO CARRY ME THERE!" Sheila ordered.

Jack growled.

"I'm am not _carrying _you," he said, rubbing his temple.

"I AM YOUR MASTER!" Sheila screamed. "AND I _**ORDER**_ YOU TO CARRY ME! CHOP, CHOP!"

Jack glared at Sheila.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes pulled the wagon up Sneer Hill.

"OK, Hobbes," Calvin said. "This will be the wagon trip to top all wagon trips!"

"Uh huh," Hobbes said. "So you mean we're going to try and go off every single cliff here, right?"

"Yep," Calvin nodded.

They carried the wagon up to the top of the hill.

But before they could get in, and go down the hill, the ground started shaking.

_BOOM!_

"WHOA!" Hobbes yelled, stumbling backwards.

"What was that?" Calvin growled, looking around.

"DIEE SHEILA!" Screamed a voice.

"NO! YOU DIE!" Screamed another voice.

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Oh," They both said in unison.

Calvin and Hobbes walked around one of the hills, and spotted Brainstorm and Sheila battling each other crazily with their new inventions.

Jack and Jacqueline were off by themselves, talking back and forth.

Calvin and Hobbes walked up to them.

"Hey Jack. Jacqueline." Calvin said, casually.

"Yo," Jack said, holding up a hand in greeting.

"Hi," Jacqueline said, cheerfully.

"So, what's the scoop on the experiment?" Hobbes asked, eagerly.

"Well, Sheila had me think up a plan so she take credit for it, she got me stuck in the air vent, I had to carry her here, and she keeps referring to me as 'That metal thing my idiot brother made'." Jack said, rubbing his head.

"I didn't have it any better," Jacqueline sighed. "Frank set fire to the lab three times and I thought we were going to run out of baking soda, then he keeps asking me to fetch tools that he has strewn throughout the place, I constantly have to save him when he gets his leg stuck inside his lab coat, and he was constantly forgetting that I wasn't Jack, and when I reminded him, he would accuse me on spying on him for Sheila."

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

Suddenly, a large piece of charred metal landed a few feet away from Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline.

_**CLANG!**_

"HEY!" Brainstorm screeched. "I SPENT FIVE MINUTES ON THAT THING!"

"GOOD! I HOPE YOU'VE LOST THAT TIME FOREVER!" Sheila screamed back at him.

"So," Jack said, trying to ignore them. "Which Brainstorm is more insane?"

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline stared off into space for a long throbbing moment, interrupted only by Brainstorm and Sheila's screams back and forth at each other and explosions made by their inventions.

"Sheila," They said in unison, nodding their heads.

Suddenly, there was an extra large explosion, and Brainstorm suddenly landed in front of the four.

"OOF!" he grunted, landing in the grass.

He was covered in ash and soot, his lab coat was ripped, and his hair was messed up

He leaped to his feet, and whipped out his Servant Ray.

"SERVANT RAY! HOLD HER OFF FOR A MOMENT!"

Nothing happened.

There was a pause.

"_DON'T _HOLD HER OFF FOR A MOMENT!"

Suddenly, rockets shot out of the tip of the gun, and flew towards Sheila, who was trying to pump up her Servant Ray.

Brainstorm whipped around to the robots.

"JACK!"

"I'm Jacqueline," Jacqueline said.

Brainstorm whipped around to other robot.

"JACK!"

"What?"

"THINGS ARE LOOKING BLEAK! THAT STUPID SHEILA COPIED MY SERVANT RAY TECHNOLOGY AND THAT SIBLING DESTROYER IS TOO POWERFUL! WHAT DO WE DO!"

"Give up." Jack suggested.

"OH, SO YOU'RE TAKING _HER_ SIDE, HUH!"

"No, I just want to go back home," Jack said. "I have a show coming on."

Brainstorm grumbled, and turned to Calvin and Hobbes.

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" He screamed, frantically, pointing at them.

And with that, he rushed back into battle.

"Yeah, I think this chain of attacks should end, soon," Jacqueline commented. "Otherwise, we'll have to rename the show Dr Brainstorm and Friends."

Calvin and Hobbes nodded.

Suddenly, Sheila came running up.

She didn't look to good, either.

"JACQUELINE!" She screamed.

"I'm Jack," Jack said.

Sheila whipped around to Jacqueline.

"JACQUELINE!"

"Yes?" Jacqueline said.

"HIS DEFENSES ARE TOO POWERFUL! I CAN'T KEEP UP THE FIGHT MUCH LONGER! WHAT DO WE DO!"

"Give up?" Jacqueline suggested.

"_**NEVER!**_" She screamed.

She jabbed a finger at Calvin.

"I'LL DESTROY YOU, YET, ALIEN TRANSMITTER BOY!"

Calvin rolled his eyes.

Sheila rushed back off into battle.

Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline watched for a while, then pretty soon, Brainstorm and Sheila ran out of weapons, again.

"JACK!" Brainstorm screamed, running up. "THE BATTLE IS OVER!"

"Really?" Jack said, sarcastically. "Who won?"

"Nobody!" Brainstorm growled. "We ran out of weapons, again."

Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline rolled their eyes.

Suddenly, Sheila came running up.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" She screamed, shoving Brainstorm away.

Brainstorm glared icily at Sheila, and gritted his teeth.

Then, he turned, and went to loading up the Brainstorm rocket.

"JACQUELINE!" Sheila screamed. "THE BATTLE IS OVER!"

She whipped around to Brainstorm.

"_**BUT THE WAR RAGES ON!**_" She screeched.

Back to Jacqueline.

"WE HAVE TO GO HOME AND DEVELOP A NEW PLAN OF ACTION!"

"Okay," Jacqueline nodded.

"GOOD! TAKE ME HOME!"

Jacqueline sighed, as Sheila rushed off in the other direction.

"We have to get a teleporter," She sighed.

"Well, Jacqueline, it was good to see you, again," Jack said, happily, patting Jacqueline on the back.

"You to, Jack," Jacqueline said, cheerfully. "Calvin, Hobbes. It was a pleasure to meet you."

"Same here," Calvin and Hobbes nodded.

Calvin and Hobbes shook hands with Jacqueline.

Sheila looked back around from behind a rock.

"JACQUELINE! GET OVER HERE!" She screeched.

"See you, boys," Jacqueline said.

And with that, she jogged off after Sheila.

There was a moment of silence.

Then, Brainstorm came running up to Jack.

"Alright, Jack, let's go! We have stuff to do!" he shouted.

He paused.

"You_are_ Jack, right?" he asked.

Jack nodded.

"Good. Let's go."

He turned to Calvin and Hobbes.

"YOU WILL _DIEEEEEE!_" He screamed, hysterically.

"Uh huh, see you Frank," Calvin said.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_"

Jack waved goodbye to Calvin and Hobbes, and climbed into the rocket with Brainstorm.

There was a blast of fire as the rockets kicked in, and suddenly, the Brainstorm rocket lifted off the ground, and blasted off towards Yellowstone.

Calvin and Hobbes watched them go.

There was a moment of silence.

"Well," Calvin said. "Where were we?"

"We about to commit suicide and ride that wagon down the hill." Hobbes said.

"Ah, yes," Calvin remembered. "Then, let's go, old buddy! Before the wagon decides to go without us!"

Calvin and Hobbes rushed back to the wagon.

They hopped inside, Calvin holding the handle.

"Well, Hobbes, here we are at Dismemberment Gorge!" Calvin said.

"I wish you'd quit calling it that," Hobbes said.

"Right at the mountain's mercy!" Calvin continued. "Many have tried to ride this hill but have suffered terrible deaths in doing so! Now the future of the human race lies in our hands! We will ride this death trap all the way through, and see it to the end!"

"Uh huh," Hobbes said.

"Why do we attempt such a dangerous and perilous hill you ask?"

"Because we're being paid, I hope" Hobbes guessed.

"_BECAUSE IT IS THERE!_" Calvin shouted, his fist going to the sky. "Now, engage hyperdrive!"

Hobbes saluted, and began pushing against the ground.

The wagon slowly started moving forward, and Hobbes jumped back inside.

Then, the wagon suddenly bolted down the hill as gravity kicked in.

"WWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Calvin and Hobbes both cheered.

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon** Calvin  
**Tom Hanks** Hobbes  
**Neil Crone** Dr Brainstorm  
**Michael Brandon** Jack  
**Bridget Nelson** Sheila Brainstorm  
**AnnaSophia Robb** Jacqueline

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Let Us Prank The Fool


	25. Let Us Prank the Fool

**Summary: **Calvin attempts to prank Socrates before April first.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**Let Us Prank the Fool**

It was a few days before April 1st in the Calvin and Hobbes neighborhood.

Andy was coming down the stairs of his house in a big hurry.

"I'm late! I'm late!" he cried as he ran through the kitchen.

As he ran, he stopped and noticed Sherman was sitting on the table. He was wearing a sweater vest and glasses as he read from a book. Next to him was an ordinary rabbit that he had put a yellow vest on.

"But I'm not so late that I can't help but notice that something odd has happened. Shermie, what are you doing?" he demanded.

Sherman looked up.

"Just trying to start the day in a civilized manner," he said in a sophisticated accent. He turned to the rabbit. "Are you sure you wouldn't like a little tea, Mr Wiggles?" he asked.

The rabbit just gnawed at his carrot.

Andy sighed as he grabbed some juice from the fridge.

"Look, Sherman, you can dress it up and call any emasculating name you want, but he has to go," he said sternly.

"But I want a pet!" Sherman pouted.

Andy poured his juice.

"I hate to break it to you buddy, but _you_ are the pet."

Sherman looked surprised.

"Well, that may be," he said angrily, "but you need more maintenance than I do!"

"Oh, I ask you for homework help one time…," Andy sighed, downing his juice.

"It was time I could've spent on my research!"

Andy rolled his eyes and walked towards the door.

Sherman continued to read his book. Then he heard a noise.

_**SPLOOSH!**_

"ACK!"

Sherman looked up in surprise.

"Mr Wiggles, I do believe we have a spot of bother," he said in that accent.

Sherman got off the table and scurried over to the door. When he got there, his mouth dropped open in shock.

Andy was drenched in a liquid of some sort.

"What is it?" Sherman asked.

"I'm…not sure," said Andy, looking himself over. "It smells like…soap."

Suddenly, a water balloon landed on him.

_**SPLASH!**_

"AAH!" he cried.

A few moments later, a giant brush came down and started scrubbing him.

"What the heck is going on?!" he shouted.

In about ten seconds, during which Sherman just stared at him in surprise, only to be joined by his rabbit, Andy was covered in bubbles.

There was a tense pause as Andy glared ahead as the brush was taken away.

It was then that this was followed by manic laughter from the roof.

Andy and Sherman looked up and saw that Socrates was standing on their roof, laughing his head off.

"On the plus side, you look very clean," Sherman said supportively.

Still laughing, Socrates ran off while Andy glared at him.

"That's right! Laugh it up!" he shouted.

Sherman sighed. "Well, it _is_ getting close to April Fool's Day," he said.

Andy gasped.

"Oh-no! How could I forget?! Come on!" he cried, picking Sherman up. "We have to warn Calvin!"

"But it's Mr Wiggles' naptime!" Sherman cried.

Andy ignored him and ran down the street after Socrates.

* * *

Hobbes was walking absentmindedly down the sidewalk, going to join Calvin for a game Calvinball. As he walked, he noticed a can sitting on the sidewalk. Upon further inspection, he discovered what it was.

"Tuna?!" he cried.

Then he paused.

"Wait a minute… There's a can of tuna fish on the sidewalk? Should I be suspicious right now?"

He thought for a moment.

"Nope," he decided, shrugging.

He promptly bent down to pick it up.

When he pulled it up, he didn't notice that there was a string on the bottom of it that was being pulled from the sidewalk.

This triggered a series of gears that were moving around under the ground.

Hobbes heard the grinding noise until…

…a water balloon filled with a gooey brown substance hit him in the back of his head.

_**SPLAT!**_

"ACK!" Hobbes cried.

Then the insane laughter rang out throughout the area.

Hobbes glared at nothing.

"SOCRATES, GET OUT HERE!" he shouted, wiping chocolate sauce off his body. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE TO WASH THIS OUT?! HOW DARE YOU TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS?!"

Socrates continued to laugh as he ran off.

Hobbes glared.

Just then, Andy and Sherman ran up.

Hobbes and Andy stared at each other.

"Good morning," Hobbes sighed. "Anyone here want some chocolate-coated fur?"

"Hobbes, we have to warn Calvin!" Andy cried.

"April Fools Day is in three days!" Sherman added.

Hobbes' eyes bugged out.

"Oh no! Socrates is probably about to do something extra cruel to Calvin! There's only one thing to do!" he said.

"What's that?" asked Andy.

"Ignore it and act surprised when he arrives."

Hobbes started to leave, but Andy grabbed him and dragged him away.

* * *

Calvin was reading a comic book on his bed. He failed to notice that someone was looping something around his foot.

Then a paper airplane flew into the room.

Calvin watched it land.

"What the…?" he asked.

Grumbling, he got up and went to get the airplane. Unfortunately, this tightened the rope tied around his ankle, and as a result, Calvin was promptly yanked back out of the window.

"AAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGHH!" he screamed.

Calvin flew out above the backyard and landed in the tree house, which was loaded with water balloons.

_**SPLOOSH!**_

"ACK!" he screamed.

The rope wasn't done moving yet, and he was yanked into a sandbox, causing sand to stick to him.

"ACK!"

When Calvin finally stopped, he was covered in sand that was stuck to him.

After taking a moment grumble, he listened for the lunatic laughter.

It wasn't long before he could hear Socrates laughing at him.

"SOCRATES!" he shouted.

Socrates ran off, laughing his head off.

Calvin saw him and started to run after him.

"GET BACK HERE!"

"Woo hoo, hoo, hoo,_ hoo_!" Socrates laughed, and he ran down the sidewalk towards his mansion.

Finally, Calvin got tired and let him get away.

Just then, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman arrived.

Calvin stared at Hobbes and Andy.

They waited for him to say something.

Calvin's eyes narrowed.

"_Revenge…_," Calvin hissed.

* * *

A few hours later, everyone was cleaned, and they were in Calvin's bedroom.

Calvin was going through a phonebook's yellow pages.

"What are you doing?" Hobbes asked.

"Looking for the nearest prank shop!" Calvin said with determination. "I'm gonna get that Socrates back if it's the last thing I ever do!"

"Come April Fools Day, it _might_ be the last thing you ever do," said Sherman. "Socrates goes nuts on days like that."

"Look, I refuse to sit by and be tricked by Socrates every ten minutes!"

Andy looked at his watch.

At that moment, Calvin reached for his pencil, and when he picked it up, it triggered a string, and suddenly, a squirt of ketchup flew through the air and splattered on Calvin's face.

"Hey!" he cried.

"Remarkable," Andy said, looking at his watch. "It's been ten minutes, you've pranked again, and you're sitting. Coincidence? I think _not!_"

Calvin glared at him.

"Shut up," he grunted. "I have to do something for all our sakes! If we can just humble Socrates and tone down his pranks, maybe we'll _all_ survive this ordeal."

Sherman nodded.

"He's got a point. Sure, Calvin is number one on the list, but I'm pretty sure we're high up on the list as well," he pointed out.

"What makes you say that?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, just how many people does Socrates actually know?" Sherman sighed.

Hobbes gulped.

Calvin continued to plough through the yellow pages.

"There's got to be _someone_ in here," he said.

A few seconds later, he found something.

"Hey, here's someone! Prank-O-Porium!" he said excitedly.

"Seriously?" Andy asked.

"Yeah, the store is at the edge of town!"

"Wow, how convenient," said Sherman.

Calvin tore the page out of the phonebook and pulled out the box.

"I'm gonna fly down there. Any of you want to come?" he asked, climbing inside.

"Nah," said Hobbes. "I'm gonna take my chances with the pranks."

"Suit yourself."

Calvin flew the box out the window.

Hobbes, Andy and Sherman went about their business until…

"AAUGH!"

_**WHAM!**_

They all hurried to the window and looked outside.

Socrates had apparently set up a curved piece of wood just outside the window that had redirected Calvin's box and caused him to crash into a tree.

They all stared at him.

Calvin leaned out of the tree and shouted at them.

"This is why I wear goggles!" he shouted.

The others rolled their eyes and left the window.

Calvin managed to dislodge the box from the tree and fly to the address.

A few minutes later, Calvin landed at the store. He parked the box in the alley and left to look at the front.

In bright lights, it said _PRANK-O-PORIUM._

"I wonder how many people actually shop here," he thought.

He opened the door. He was impressed with what he saw. There were fake glasses, spinning bowties, wind-up teeth and several other things that Socrates would probably use.

When he got to the front, he saw the man standing behind the counter looked familiar.

"Klein?!" he asked in surprise.

"Hey, kid," said Klein, looking up from his newspaper. "What can I do ya for?"

Calvin got over the initial shock, and then walked up to the counter.

"I need the help of you and this store!" he said. "I need to know how to prank a prank master! Got any ideas?!"

Klein stared for a moment and then started looking around the store.

"Well…," he said. "I think I can help you out."

"Great! What can I get?!"

Klein pulled out a box from behind the counter.

"Well, you could always try this stuff," he said. "It's our Starter Kit."

"Cool!" said Calvin, looking at it. "What's in it?"

"Oh, just your basic pranking jokes. We've got all your basics here."

Klein started pulling stuff out.

"Well, we have your standards," he said, laying stuff out. "We got your whoopee cushions, we got your squirting flowers, we got your spinning bowties, we got regular ties that roll up like noise-makers, we got your trick wires, we got pies, we got joy buzzers, we got silly string, we got condiments, we got fake gum, water balloons, disguises and mustaches and roller skates and fake hands and fake thumbs and fake toes and a fake nose and wigs and exploding figs and bending twigs and fake wings and ding-a-lings and loads and tons of other things! We got yo-yo's with invisible strings! We got sunglasses with songs to sing! We got dental floss and balls to toss, action Diana Ross! We got magnets and fragments and flip flops and garden crops! We got worms in a bag! We got a suit with a tag! We have also a TV that doesn't change channels! Air conditioners stocked from air from our air conditioned air condition factory!"

Klein wiped the sweat from his brow and gasped for air.

Calvin looked impressed.

"Is that it?"

"Yeah, pretty much your standard stuff," Klein sighed, leaning against the counter in exhaustion.

Calvin took the box.

"How much is it?" he asked.

Klein pondered.

"Well, normally, it'd be ten bucks, but since you're such a smooth-looking kid, how about five?" he decided.

"Deal!" Calvin said excitedly, handing him the money.

Klein scanned the box and handed it to him.

"Oh!" Klein said, remembering. "And since April Fools Day is coming up, how about a free rubber chicken?"

He pulled out the chicken.

"Yeah, sure," said Calvin, taking it. "Thanks, Klein. I would think that would've come with the actual kit though."

"You and me both," Klein sighed.

Calvin waved goodbye and left the store.

Klein pulled out his newspaper again.

"Huh," he said. "Drew Carey's on a potato diet."

* * *

Calvin returned home with the box of pranks. He showed it to Hobbes and MTM.

"What do you guys think?" he asked.

Hobbes looked inside.

"It looks pretty substantial," he said.

"There's enough stuff in there to keep an entire senior class pranking for at least a semester," MTM commented.

Calvin nodded excitedly.

"I can't wait to see Socrates' face when he gets pranked by me!" he said.

Calvin picked up the box.

A few seconds later…

_**SPLUT!**_

"ACK!"

Calvin was immediately sprayed with water.

"What the heck…?" Hobbes said.

Hobbes looked under the box. There was a piece of gum stuck under it, and it was attached to a piece of string that ran under the floor.

"When did he set _that_ up?!" Calvin demanded.

"It must have been when we were asleep," Hobbes said.

Calvin groaned as he wrung his hair out.

"Mark my words," MTM said. "Time is a great healer…unless you've got a rash, in which case, you're better off with ointment."

Calvin and Hobbes glared at him.

Then Hobbes realized something.

"Uh-oh," he said. "This must mean that Socrates knew you were going to get the kit! He knows you have it!"

"Brilliant deduction," Calvin said, sighing. "Well, I won't let that stop me. I'm gonna get Socrates back if it's the last thing I ever do!"

Calvin took the kit and out of the room.

Hobbes and MTM sat there for a minute.

"He's dead," MTM said dully.

Hobbes just nodded.

* * *

Socrates was up in his room, laying on his bed, and planning out his next prank.

Next to him were several piles of rolled up blueprints.

He tapped his chin with a pencil, and continued to think.

"Hmm," He said. "Everything appears to be thought through. If the catsup bottle is placed fifteen feet three inches from the net, then the net will have enough room to snatch the poor victim up."

He chuckled to himself, and rolled the latest blueprint up.

"This is the life." He sighed. "Now then, time for my ten minute prank break!"

He then proceeded to close his eyes, and prepared to drift off to...

Suddenly, his eyes popped open.

He sat up, and sniffed the air.

"I sense... a presence." He whispered.

He looked around in all directions, then, he spotted it.

A shadow was right outside his door. The shadow had spikes on top of its head.

Socrates' eyes narrowed, and he grinned.

Calvin was behind the door with Hobbes.

"OK, Hobbes." He whispered. "He's in the area. We'll break in, and gag him!"

"This is a bad idea." Hobbes said.

"Then, we'll throw him out the window in the fudge we have in that kiddy pool."

"It's still a bad idea."

"And after that..." he paused. "We'll run for our lives."

"This is the worst idea I've heard in years." He thought for a second. "Days. Hmmm, OK, a few hours."

"Shut up. Come on, it's time to launch all attacks!"

Calvin held up a rope, and kicked the door open.

That's when Hobbes vanished.

"FEEL THY WRATH, RED TAILED TIG..._**AAAAAAAAUGH!**_"

Socrates was already in the doorway, shooting silly string into Calvin's face.

Calvin went stumbling backwards, then collapsed, as he was buried under a mountain of the gooey wet substance.

"I love this stuff." Socrates sighed.

Finally Calvin somehow climbed his way out of silly string, and faced Socrates.

"Let it be known, kitty, that someday, I WILL PRANK _YOU!_"

Socrates chuckled.

"Sure, Calvin, sure. But always remember," He bent down to his level. "I'm always one step ahead of you."

And with that, Socrates pulled out a remote, and pushed the big red button in the middle.

_**SPROING!**_

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The floor Calvin was standing on shot upward, and Calvin went flying out the window.

He crashed into Socrates' lawn.

When he opened his eyes he saw Hobbes staring down at him.

"How'd it go?" He asked.

Calvin glared at him.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" He demanded.

* * *

A little while later, Socrates was busy setting up another trap for Calvin.

He was running a small string down the sidewalk, and around a tree trunk where he had a bed sheet drenched in honey and flour hung on the branch.

Calvin was watching him from a bush, holding the MTM.

"Look at him, MTM," He growled. "The stupid tiger thinks I'm going to fall for that!"

"Yep," MTM said.

"Well, we'll see who's going to be on the receiving end of _this_ phone call!" Calvin muttered.

"We sure will," MTM said.

"Alright, MTM," Calvin said. "When I scream 'die', I want you to activate your fan feature to full power, and send Socrates into that bed sheet, got it?"

"Uh huh," MTM said.

Calvin peered through the bushes and glared at Socrates, who was grinning like mad, attaching the string to the bed sheet.

"1... 2... 3..._** DIEE!!**_"

Calvin leaped from the bushes, suddenly, holding the MTM out in front of him.

_VRRRRRRRRRRRR!!_

Suddenly a large wind burst from the tip of the MTM, heading straight for...

Socrates had vanished.

Calvin looked around.

"MTM. Deactivate." He said, holding the MTM down.

The MTM's fan died down.

Calvin scratched his head, and looked around.

"Where did that cat go? He was here just a second ago."

He took a step forward to search for the tiger.

_**SPRONG!!**_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!"

Suddenly, Calvin stepped in a loop in the string, which suddenly tightened, and pulled Calvin forward.

He dropped the MTM on the ground, and went gliding across the ground into the bed sheet, ripping it off the branch, and settling over Calvin's head.

_POOOF!!_

Socrates and MTM watched as Calvin struggled with the sheet, screaming, now covered in a thick layer of honey and flour.

"Life is good," Socrates grinned at the MTM.

"Yes, I know," MTM replied.

And with that, Socrates went skipping away, laughing his head off.

* * *

"OK, Andy," Calvin growled, as he and Andy stood behind Calvin's house. "Socrates is out setting up another trap for me in the front yard. Are we ready?"

Andy was holding several cans of silly string.

"Yep," He said. "We ran after him, blast him with the silly string, causing him to stumble backwards into that hole he dug, filled with the buckets of paint."

"Correct." Calvin said.

"I'm ready," Andy shrugged.

"Good," Calvin whipped out two extra cans of silly string. "Socrates, say your prayers."

Socrates was around the other side of the house, placing smoke bombs all around the yard, whistling to himself.

He seemed to take no notice to Calvin and Andy, who were peeking out at him from behind the house.

"OK," Calvin hissed. "One... two... three... TASTE NONTOXIC CHEMICALS, KITTY!!"

Socrates looked up.

Calvin was racing after him, spraying wildly with the can, while Andy watched, from the house.

Socrates grinned, and held something up.

It was his own can of silly string.

_PPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!!_

"AAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!"

Calvin fell backwards upon impact, and stumbled straight into the hole Socrates had dug.

_SPLASH!! CLANG!! CLANG!!_

Socrates grinned, stood up, and left.

There was a long moment of silence.

Andy walked over to the hole.

"Sorry, Calvin, I thought you meant 1, 2, 3, _go_. Didn't think you'd do it on three." He called down.

Calvin, now covered in paint, glared up at Andy.

* * *

"OK, why do _I_ have to take part in this lunatic plan?" Sherman demanded, perched on Calvin's shoulder.

"Because I told you to, now shut up for a minute, and let me think," Calvin replied.

Sherman crossed his arms, and scowled.

Calvin watched Socrates from the tree house.

He was pouring a trail of super glue down the sidewalk, whistling to himself.

"OK," Calvin said, turning to the hamster. "When I say go, I want you to pull on this string."

He handed Sherman a string.

"Why?" Sherman asked.

Calvin pointed above his head.

"There's a large bucket full of paint right up there. Once you pull it, it will dump all over the dumb cat."

"Uh huh." Sherman said. "And why can't you do this?"

"Because I'll be busy dumping this on him," Calvin said, holding a bucket of feathers up.

Sherman rolled his eyes.

Socrates walked underneath the tree, still pouring a trail of glue behind him.

"Reeeeaaaddy... aaiiiiiiiiimm..." Calvin hissed. "_**GO!!**_"

Sherman yanked on the string.

Socrates looked up.

Suddenly there were two buckets falling down towards him.

He sighed, and stepped out of the way.

_CLANG!! SPLAT!!_

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin, Sherman and Socrates all stared at the two buckets on the ground.

Then, Calvin's eyes narrowed and he growled.

"YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO _THAT!!_" He screamed, climbing down from the tree house.

"No, I suppose I wasn't." Socrates commented.

"You were supposed to hold still so I could dump all that paint on you!!" Calvin shouted.

"Yeah, that _was_ what you were doing." Socrates nodded.

Calvin growled and held his head in frustration.

Socrates grinned sweetly at him, and continued pouring the glue down the sidewalk.

"HEY!" Calvin shouted, after him. "GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU, YET!!"

Calvin stepped forward.

Sherman slapped his forehead.

Calvin looked down.

He was standing right in the middle of a giant puddle of glue.

Which currently had feathers mixed in with it.

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin heaved a deep sigh.

"That figures." He growled.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hobbes was up in Calvin's room, reading a comic book.

The MTM was sitting next to him.

Suddenly, the MTM started talking.

"Good book?" He asked.

Hobbes looked up.

"Yes," He nodded.

Then, he turned back to the comic.

There was a moment of silence.

"What's it called?" MTM asked.

Hobbes looked up.

"Uh... Captain Napalm Issue 5532." He said.

"Ah, yes, the nuclear fusion chamber story." MTM said.

"Yep."

Hobbes turned back to the comic book.

There was another moment of silence.

"Any good villains in it?" MTM suddenly cut in.

Hobbes sighed.

"MTM, I'm trying to read. Why don't you go do something or... something?" He asked.

"I'm sorry," MTM said. "I can't help myself. I've already downloaded and read every single book ever written in the history of mankind."

Hobbes stared at him.

"Every single book?" He asked.

"Every single book in existence." MTM said.

There was a small pause.

"Well... That's weird..." Hobbes said, finally.

"Do you know what the worst book ever written was?" MTM asked.

"What?" Hobbes asked.

"_Football: It's a Funny Old Game_, by Kevin Keegan." MTM replied.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Without any books, I can't do anything anymore but watch movies!" MTM said. "You know how hard it is to find a _good_ movie today?"

"Look, can I just get back to my story?" Hobbes asked.

"Sure," MTM replied.

There was a moment of silence.

Hobbes continued reading.

Suddenly, MTM spoke up, again.

"I'm at a loose end, now," He said.

Hobbes groaned, and put the comic book, away.

"I don't know what to do with myself." MTM whined.

"Can't you just start over again?" Hobbes asked.

MTM paused.

"You know, that's not a bad idea," He said, finally. "Here do you think you could wipe my memory drive for all books written by Madeleine L'Engle? I could read those up, tonight."

"Sure, why not?" Hobbes said, putting the comic book down. "How do I do that?"

"Just push the 'play' button twice and the 'program' button three times," MTM said.

Hobbes did so.

"I've done it," He said.

"Done what?" MTM asked.

Hobbes stared at the CD player.

"Erased Madeleine L'Engle." He said.

"Who's she, then?" MTM asked.

Hobbes sighed, and buried his face into his hands.

"MTM, you just asked me to erase all books by Madeleine L'Engle from your memory." He groaned.

"Why should I do that? I've never heard of her." MTM said.

"You've never heard from her because I just erased her from your memory," Hobbes moaned.

"What'd you do that for?" MTM asked, sounding annoyed.

"You asked me to!" Hobbes shouted.

"When?" MTM demanded.

"Just now!" Hobbes yelled.

"I don't remember this," MTM said.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

He set MTM back onto the desk, and picked his comic book up, again.

Just then, Calvin burst into the room.

Hobbes and MTM looked up.

Calvin was in horrible shape. He had a bad limp in one leg, there was glue and feathers all over him, there were sticks and leaves stuck in his hair, he was soaking wet, and he was shaking from anger.

Hobbes and MTM stared at him.

"Bad day?" MTM asked.

Calvin glared, angrily at the CD player.

"Guess so," MTM said.

"What's wrong, Calvin?" Hobbes asked. "Didn't your plan work?"

"NO, IT DIDN'T!" Calvin shouted, trudging over to his desk. "That stupid Socrates always seems to be one step ahead of me! I don't know how he does it but he is _impossible_ to prank!"

"Oh come, now," MTM said. "No one is _impossible _to prank."

"Well, Socrates is," Hobbes said.

"Maybe, I should just throw the towel in and give up," Calvin sighed. "Socrates can't ever be pranked. I declare it a practical impossibility."

Hobbes and MTM exchanged glances.

Well, Hobbes looked down at the MTM and the MTM's scanners went up to Hobbes. Pretty much the same thing.

* * *

Socrates was outside, again, rigging yet another trap.

This time he was placing a net coated in honey on the ground, and running a rope along one of the tree branches.

Suddenly, Calvin's door burst open.

Socrates looked up.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman were standing in the doorway, glaring at the tiger.

"Oh, hey Calvin," Socrates said, casually. "Don't worry. This one isn't for you. I'm aiming on taking out the postman!"

"Socrates, I've come to admit defeat before you," Calvin growled walking towards the red tailed tiger.

"Well it's about time," Socrates said. "You starting to get a little annoying."

Calvin glared at him.

"You're obviously the pranking master here, so I need not even try to prank you anymore," He sighed in defeat.

"Yes, well, I always knew you would never get anywhere with it." Socrates said, wrapping the rope around the tree trunk.

"By the way, Socrates, your shoe is untied," Calvin said, suddenly, examining his fingernails.

"Oh well thank..."

Socrates looked down at his feet.

But in the process of doing so, he accidently let go of the rope.

Suddenly, the rope started spinning around the trunk, and set another mechanism off.

_TWAAAAANG!!_

"YIKES!!"

Suddenly, the net sprang upward, trapping Socrates inside, and closed up.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman stared at Socrates, now hanging from the tree in a net covered in honey.

"I can't believe he fell for that," Sherman said, rubbing his head.

"It's worse," Andy said. "Socrates doesn't even _wear_ shoes."

Socrates glared at them.

"OK, Hardy, har, har, you got me. Could you get me down, now?" He asked.

"Actually, I think some time up in a tree might do you some good, Crateso," Calvin said, crossing his arms. "Give you some time to think over your _next_ prank,"

"This isn't funny, Calvin," Socrates said.

Calvin laughed.

"Sure it is!" He said. "It's hilarious! YOU ACTUALLY FELL FOR THE SHOE BEING UNTIED TRICK!!"

Socrates rolled his eyes.

"Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to go get a small snack down at the General Store," Hobbes said. "A little bag of skittles or something."

"Oooh, I'll come," Calvin said. "I have a couple of dollars with me! We can get something good!"

"Wait a minute, what about me!" Socrates yelled. "You can't leave me up here!"

"Don't worry, Socrates," Andy said. "Honey should melt away the rope in about an hour, let's go, guys!"

And with that, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman walked off towards town, leaving Socrates to consider his situation.

"Just an hour?" He said, thoughtfully, staring at the rope. "Maybe I should have put peanut butter on it, instead."

Sure.

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon** Calvin**  
Tom Hanks** Hobbes**  
Ryan Stiles** Socrates**  
Andrew Lawrence** Andy**  
Colin Mochire** Sherman**  
Norman Lovett** MTM**  
Robert Klein** Klein

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Attack of the Monster


	26. Attack of the Monsters P1

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Part one written by Garfieldodie_

**Attack of the Monsters**

Calvin was sitting in his room one morning fiddling with a computer microphone.

"Come on, come on…," he muttered, taking a pair of wire cutters.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and MTM were sitting nearby, playing cards and reading comic books.

Calvin carefully cut a wire.

ZAP!

_**ZEEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

Hobbes looked up.

Calvin had accidentally shrunk himself.

"Socrates, it's your turn," he said, turning back to his cards.

Socrates nodded. He picked up the Mega-Shrinker 5000 and zapped Calvin with it, restoring him to normal height.

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEP!**_

Calvin muttered something, snatched the Mega-Shrinker back from Socrates, and then he resumed what he had been doing previously.

"Calvin, you've been at this for three days," Andy complained. "When can we go home?"

"Once I'm done upgrading the Mega-Shrinker 5000!" Calvin retorted.

The others groaned.

"Calvin, you've been trying to do that for months," said Hobbes. "Just call it a day, will ya?"

"Look, it's a matter of getting rid of stress and frustration," Calvin replied.

"It's not working so far," Socrates said. "Got any threes?" he asked Andy.

"Go fish," said Andy.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"I'm sick and tired of having to look for a headphone jack every time I need to shrink something," he said. "I'm trying to make it wireless as an alternative."

"Can't you just use MTM?" asked Hobbes. "He's a CD Player. He has a headphone jack."

"I'm not PC compatible," MTM replied. "That's a Windows Software computer microphone, and long story short, I don't do Windows."

The others rolled their eyes.

Calvin went back to work.

There was a pause.

Calvin then reconnected the previously cut wire, and then rerouted another one.

_**ZEEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

"MTM, it's your turn," said Hobbes.

MTM activated his manipulator arms, and managed to unshrink Calvin.

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEEP!**_

Calvin glared at them, and then resumed work.

Then they heard a low grumbling noise from under the bed.

"What's that?" asked Socrates.

"Oh, it's just the monsters under my bed," Calvin replied. "Just ignore them. They get a little antsy at this hour."

"You've got monsters under your bed?" Andy asked. "Does Homeland Security know about this?"

"We've just gotten used to them over the years," Hobbes said. "They usually shut up when we throw old banana peels and coffee cans and junk like that under the bed at them."

"Interesting diet," Andy commented. "You won't get that with Atkins."

"ACK!" Calvin cried.

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

"I'll get him," Hobbes sighed.

He reached over and flipped a switch on the Mega-Shrinker, and he enlarged Calvin.

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEEP!**_

Calvin glared at them and took the Mega-Shrinker back.

"I'll get this thing fixed if it's the last thing I ever do!" he declared.

"That might be sooner than you think," Andy said.

Calvin pulled out the wire cutters again.

This time, he cut a different wire, and this caused the end to extend.

_SHIIK!_

Calvin looked happier now.

"Wait, I think I've got it this time!" he exclaimed.

Calvin then pressed a button on the side.

_SHIIK!_

The end retracted again.

"Okay, now one more time…," he said.

_SHIIK!_

The end had extended.

"Now let's see what would happen if…"

Calvin hit the _SHRINK_ switch. He aimed at a radio.

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

"Andy, it's your turn," Hobbes without looking up.

"I've got it!" Calvin cried.

They all looked up.

Calvin flipped the switch to _UNSHRINK._

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEEP!**_

This, in turn, enlarged the radio back to normal size.

"YES!" Calvin cheered.

In his excitement, he accidentally shrunk the others.

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

"ACK!" they screamed.

Calvin looked back over at the bed and saw them.

Well, sort of. They were really small now.

"Oops," he said sheepishly.

He quickly reset the switch and aimed it at them again.

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEEP!**_

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and MTM grew back to normal size.

Hobbes glared at him.

"There, happy now?!" he demanded.

"Yes, actually," said Calvin smugly. "After months of hard work, I've finally completed my wireless Mega-Shrinker 5000!"

"Alert the media," Andy replied, picking his cards up.

Calvin then thought of something.

"You know, maybe I should rename it!" he said thoughtfully. "After all, such a monumental moment deserves such recognition!"

"Calvin, you really put the _mental_ in _monu_mental," Andy sighed.

Hobbes and Socrates snickered while Calvin glared at him.

"Thank you, Andrew," Calvin said angrily. "Might you have anymore cute remarks?"

"I'm good."

Calvin glared some more before returning attention to the Mega-Shrinker 5000.

"Hmmm…," he said. "Perhaps… I've got it! I shall name it…the _Mega-Shrinker 6000!_" he crowed, holding it high in the air.

One would almost expect trumpeting fanfare to sound at that moment.

The others stared at him.

"That's it?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin glared at him.

"What do you mean, 'that's it'?" he demanded.

"You only changed one number," said Socrates.

"Point being?" Calvin sniffed.

"Yeah, lay off, Socrates," Andy said. "After all, 6000 says _so_ much more than 5000."

"Yes, _thank _you."

"Right, it says, 'my name is Calvin, and I'm about as creative as the guy who created Raisin Bran!"

Calvin glared.

"I thought you said you were done!"

"No, I said I was good," Andy replied.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. The point is I've finally succeeded in my quest to make a cordless Mega-Shrinker, and here it is! That's _one_ resolution done and dusted."

He set it down on the desk.

"That's it?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin paused.

"Yeah, it's not quite as fulfilling as I thought it would be," he admitted.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Okay, so you're done?" Hobbes asked. "Does that mean we can go to the movies now? We've wanted to go for a long time now, and we finally have enough money!"

Calvin nodded.

"Yeah, sure," he said. "Let's go get Sherman and hit the theater."

Hobbes and Socrates groaned.

"Oh, that's put a damper on an otherwise brilliant day!" Socrates moaned.

Calvin sighed.

"Guys," he said sternly. "He's part of the group. Let's swing by Andy's house and get him."

"Right," said Andy.

They all started to leave.

"MTM," Calvin said, "you wait here and hold down the fort until we get back, okay?"

"Right on, dudes," MTM replied.

They shut the door and left.

MTM paused.

"Right then, back to Agatha Christie," he said, and he uploaded the book he had been reading.

But he failed to notice the new Mega-Shrinker 6000 was slightly sparkling electricity.

And the growling under the bed was getting a little louder…

* * *

Sherman was now sitting upon Andy's shoulder as they stood in line for the movie.

"What movie are we seeing?" he asked.

"_Underdog,_" Calvin replied. "It looked kind of funny, so we thought we'd see it."

Sherman groaned.

Andy sighed.

"What's wrong, Shermie?" he asked.

"Why can't we see a more informative movie?" Sherman demanded.

"Because PBS movies never make it to theaters," Hobbes replied.

Sherman rolled his eyes.

"I'm just not in the mood to see another movie about talking animals," he said.

"Hypocrite," Socrates snorted.

Calvin walked up to the ticket counter.

Andy quickly hid Sherman in his pocket.

"Excuse me?" Calvin asked.

The ticket taker leaned over the edge of the counter to look down at him. He looked strangely familiar.

Calvin's eyes popped open.

"Klein?!" he gasped.

Klein looked down at him.

"Hello, I am Klein," he said.

"Yes, I know," said Calvin. "You look like your brothers."

Klein nodded.

"Oh, you must be Calvin," he said. "I've heard about you."

"How'd you know who I am?"

"You're the kid with the weird hair and the tiger."

Calvin glanced at Hobbes, who simply grinned back.

"Okay, well, how much for two kids and two tigers?" he asked.

Klein shrugged.

"Eh, tigers can go for free. That'll be 7.50 for you two."

Hobbes and Socrates grinned smugly at Calvin and Andy, who simply rolled their eyes and handed Klein the money.

"Thanks, Klein," he said.

They started to leave, but Klein called Calvin back.

"Hey, Calvin," he said.

Calvin looked back.

Klein motioned for him to come back.

Calvin handed Hobbes to Andy and doubled back.

"What?" Calvin asked.

Klein leaned over and whispered, "The best seats in the theater are written down on this napkin," he whispered.

Calvin grinned and took it.

"Thanks, Klein," he said.

And he ran after Andy.

Klein simply went back to the line in front of him.

"Okay, folks, we have few rules about this movie theater," he said. "No talking, no cell phones, no crying, no movie-hopping, no yelling, no parties, no drinks, no smuggled food, no objects that could kill, no pagers, no iPods, no iPhones, no iTunes, no PDA, no laptops, digital cameras, no video cameras, no mini-DVDs… In fact, no technology that essentially does the exact same thing, but Apple says are each incredibly different in a scheme to make money," he said.

Practically every teenager in the crowd left.

Klein chuckled a little.

"Step right up!" he said.

* * *

Back at the house, MTM was in the middle of his novel when he heard a noise.

_ZZZIP!_

Reluctantly, he turned off his book and examined the room.

It didn't look as though anyone was around. He couldn't find the source of the noise.

"Hello?" he asked.

_ZZZAP!_

"Ah, and whoever you are, you've brought a friend," he said.

_ZZZIP! ZAP!_

MTM looked around until his saw the Mega-Shrinker 6000 sitting on the desk. It was sparking slightly.

"Good morning, how are you?" he asked.

_ZAP! CRACKLE!_

"Want some cereal?"

Suddenly, without warning, the Mega-Shrinker fired.

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

It fired at the radio again, shrinking it a second time.

MTM stared.

"Well, if you didn't want to listen Wynona, you should've said," he said at last.

Then it zapped at the lamp.

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEEP!**_

The lamp grew to twice its normal size.

"Just the thing to read War and Peace by," MTM commented.

The Mega-Shrinker then fired at the pillow.

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

"Calvin's gonna have a hard time sleeping tonight. You might want to stop."

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

The rug shrunk.

"Please?" MTM asked.

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEP!**_

The toy truck near the dresser grew.

"Just stop and think about it."

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEEP!**_

The trashcan grew.

"Oy, what a pong!" MTM groaned. "Don't make me have to use force!"

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

The pair of wire cutters shrunk.

"Alright, I asked politely. Hang about. Here we go."

MTM aimed and took fire at the Mega-Shrinker 6000.

_**BRZAP!**_

The blast struck the Mega-Shrinker, sending it bouncing off the wall behind the desk, and then onto the floor, where it landed facing away from the bed.

MTM couldn't see it now.

"You alright down there?" he asked.

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

The Mega-Shrinker fired again, and it was forced under the bed by the blast.

MTM watched as the closet door shrunk.

"Yeh, you're fine," MTM sighed.

However, his blast at the Mega-Shrinker had had an undesired side-affect.

Having absorbed power from the MTM, the Mega-Shrinker suddenly began shooting wildly and widely.

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEEP!**_

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!_

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEEP!**_

_ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE__**EEEEEEEEEEP!**_

Several objects were shrunk and enlarged from under the bed.

Finally, one of the blasts it the floor under the bed, causing a hole to open up that was sucking the air inside. Electricity and fire seemed to erupt from it.

MTM, atop the bed, listened in confusion.

"That doesn't sound right…," he said unsurely.

Next to the Mega-Shrinker, the hole slowly began to grow larger.

Then, a set of clawed fingers appeared around the edge, followed by another.

MTM suddenly felt the bed lift up slightly.

"Gordon Bennett, we suddenly get on of those CraftMatic adjustable beds?" he asked.

Then he noticed something appearing by the side of the bed.

First came a long pair of tan arms, which were followed by a giant tan head, and then a long tan back, and a tail with spikes on it.

It took MTM a few seconds to register what it was.

It was one of the monsters from under Calvin's bed.

"Oh…," he said.

The monster stretched slightly, and then turned around to face the MTM. He had bloodshot eyes.

"Oh, bloodshot eyes," MTM commented sarcastically. "How original. Who might you be? Winslow or Maurice?"

The monster looked down at MTM.

"I am Jark," he said darkly.

"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"I am the most powerful monster in the entire monster world!"

"A monster, eh? I don't suppose you could confirm any beliefs about the Loch Ness Monster, could you?"

Jark glared.

"You _dare_ to mock me?" he demanded.

"You _dare_ to use an overused line like that?" MTM retorted.

Jark growled angrily.

"I'LL SHOW YOU!" he roared.

"Show me what? Your extensive toenail collection?"

Jark roared long and loud, and he swung his tail.

_WHAM!_

The dresser tipped over.

Then Jark flipped over the desk.

CRASH!

MTM watched.

"Those cost money, you know," he said.

Then Jark ate the giant garbage can.

MTM watched.

"Huh," he said. "Well, that's settled _that _problem."

Jark then flipped the bed over, causing MTM to slide off and into the wall.

"Ow!" he cried. "Who turned out the sun?"

Jark roared happily.

"Now I need to find him!" he exclaimed.

The large monster jumped through the window, breaking a lot of it along with him. He galloped off into the streets.

There was a pause as the room quieted down.

Finally, a pair of robotic arms appeared from behind the bed, and MTM pulled himself out from between it and the wall. When he pulled himself back up, he saw the Mega-Shrinker 6000 sitting next to the open portal, which continued to shower out lots of sparks of fire and electricity.

There was a pause.

"Oh, _this_ can't be good," MTM said at last.

* * *

At the movie theater, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Socrates were sitting in the back row, just below the projector, watching a talking dog and laughing every once in a while.

Sherman was sitting on the armrest reading a tiny magazine.

Just then, Klein approached them and sat down next to them.

"Klein, what are you doing here?" Calvin whispered.

"My shift was over," Klein replied. "I brought food."

He passed giant jugs of soda and bags of popcorn down.

"Awesome!" Andy whispered. "This has to be the coolest job ever!"

Klein rolled his eyes knowingly.

"Well, it has its moments, I suppose," he sighed. "Sometimes the popcorn machine explodes. That's always a fun day. Then the manager sometimes slips and falls on the spilt soda."

Calvin and Andy stared at him.

"I didn't say it was _perfect,_" Klein said.

Andy then felt something vibrating in his pocket. He groaned slightly.

"Oh great," he hissed. "Someone's calling me _now_ of all times! I thought I turned this thing off!"

He pulled out his cell phone and looked at the caller ID.

"Why's MTM calling me now of all times?!"

"Maybe he remembered the score from the latest Cricket games," Socrates suggested.

The others stared at him.

Socrates shrugged and went back to eating popcorn.

Andy got out of his seat and snuck out of the theater.

Grumbling to himself, he came back into the normal light and pulled out the cell phone, opened it and turned it on.

"Hello?" he asked.

"What's up, dude?" MTM replied.

Andy sighed.

"MTM, this better be good," he grumbled. "I've been waiting to see this movie! I paid money!"

"Yes, as opposed to giving them a pint of blood," MTM retorted.

"What do you want?"

"I need to talk to Calvin. It's an emergency."

"How bad can it be?"

"The Mega-Shrinker 6000 malfunctioned and opened a hole in the universe, causing a monster from under his bed to escape, destroy his room and take off to find him. How's that then?"

Andy paused as he mulled the whole thing over in his head.

"Hmmm…," he said. "Yeah, I guess that qualifies as being bad."

"_Quite_ bad."

"Mm-hmm. I'll get Calvin on the line for you. Hang on minute."

Andy quietly snuck back into the theater and hurried back to his seat. He leaned across Hobbes and waved the phone in Calvin's face.

Calvin tore his face away from the movie and looked back at Andy, arching an eyebrow to show confusion.

Andy waved the phone in his face again.

Calvin realized what he meant, and then he shook his head.

Andy continued to wave the phone, but with an urgent look on his face.

Calvin crossed his arms and shook his head again with more force.

Andy shoved the phone in Calvin's face and acquired an angry look.

Calvin finally relented, glared at Andy, grabbed the phone, and snuck out of the theater, waving a fist at him.

Once he was out of the theater, Calvin glared at the phone.

"What do you want?" he demanded angrily.

"Have you got a moment?"

"Get to the point!" Calvin growled.

"You know the Mega-Shrinker 6000?"

"What about it?"

"It's got a few technical glitches, I'm afraid."

"I'm sorry. I'll send it a card. Can I go now?"

"No, you see that's sort of the _beginning_ of the problem."

"Oh, there's _more?_" Calvin groaned.

"Yeah. I tried to deactivate it with my laser, but it ended up under the bed, and it seems as though it absorbed some of my power, and through the combined power of my lasers and the shrink ray, it ripped a hole in the fabric of the universe, and it expanded the portal between our universe and the one your under-the-bed monsters come from."

"MTM, is this going somewhere? I want to get back to the movie as soon as I can," Calvin interrupted.

"Shut up," MTM replied. "Now then, with the open portal to out universe, one of the monsters escaped from it. Jark was his name. A nicely tanned bloke with a tail and the bloodshot eyes that nearly every villain on this show has. I mean, really, do _none_ of your enemies get enough sleep?"

Calvin stared at the phone.

"Yeah right, and we've been getting 'your' and 'you're' switched on this show all the time as well," he snorted sarcastically.

"We have, actually," MTM said. "You see, 'your' connotes ownership, and 'you're' is—"

"MTM, I'm not believing a word of it until I see some solid evidence!" Calvin said at last.

_**WHAM!**_

Calvin looked up in surprise.

"What's that then?" MTM asked.

"ALL RIGHT!!" an angry voice shouted. "I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS SHORT AND SWEET!"

Calvin looked around the corner and saw a bunch of people staring at a giant tan monster with a tail and bloodshot eyes. Calvin's eyes burst open.

People were stunned into silence.

"MY NAME IS JARK, AND I DEMAND THAT YOU ALL TO I SAY!! MY FIRST ORDER: _**BRING ME CALVIN!!**_"

Calvin continued to stare, and then he held the phone up to his ear.

"MTM, can I call you back?" he asked, and he hung up without waiting for an answer.

**To Be Continued...**


	27. Attack of the Monsters P2

_Part two written by Swing123_

Jark stood in the doorway of the theater, looking back and forth along the crowd.

They were all staring at him with wide eyes and dropped mouth.

"Oh come on!" He shouted. "You act like you've never seen a monster before! WHERE IS HE?!"

"Who?" A man asked.

"CALVIN!!" Jark screamed. "The spike haired child! What theater is he in?!"

Calvin backed into the theater.

He rushed up to seats where Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman were sitting.

"Guys, we have to go." He hissed.

"What?" Socrates demanded. "We're right in the middle of the movie! We can't leave, now!"

"We worked darn hard to get in this theater!" Hobbes said, crossing his arms.

"_You?_" Andy demanded. "You got in for free. _Calvin_ and I were the ones who worked to get the money for this."

"Listen, it doesn't matter," Calvin growled. "Some monster just escaped from under my bed, and it's looking for me!"

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at him.

"Why is it looking for you?" Socrates asked.

"How am I supposed to know?" Calvin demanded. "Let's just go!"

"What are you guys talking about?" Klein cut in, suddenly.

"Nothing," Calvin said. "Listen, we all have to go!"

Klein shrugged.

"Eh, suit yourself." He said.

Hobbes and Socrates groaned, but followed Calvin.

Calvin and the gang made their way to the emergency exit, and ran out.

Right on cue, Jark burst in.

"Where is Calvin?!" He demanded, angrily.

Several people looked around.

Jark glared at them.

"Well? Answer me. WHERE DID HE GO?!"

The people, apparently unable to see the monster in the darkness, pointed at the exit door.

Jark's head whipped around.

He grinned, evilly.

"Human race, your days are numbered." He growled.

And with that, he raced out.

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman were hiding in the theater hallway.

"Good thing I brought that hologram projector from the Time Machine's hard drive." Calvin grinned.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

They watched through a window as Jark ran off down the street.

"Why exactly does this monster need you so badly?" Sherman asked.

"Who knows?" Calvin said. "Maybe he thinks I'm the Earth Potentate. Anyway, we have to get out of here before he figures out we tricked him."

"_We?_" Socrates demanded. "_You're_ the one he's after."

"Nice, Socrates," Calvin said, turning to the tiger and crossing his arms. "What exactly do you think he's gonna do with _you_ when he finds out your associated with _me?_"

There was a moment of silence.

A light came on in Socrates' eyes.

"We have to get out of here!" He gasped.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile, MTM was still sitting on Calvin's desk.

The Mega-Shrinker 6000 was still throwing sparks up, and the portal between Calvin's world and the monster's seemed to be getting larger.

MTM observed this with some confusion.

"Weird," He said, to himself. "Why aren't there any other monsters coming out?"

Just then, the CD player started beeping.

"Whoops," He said. "I'm getting a call."

There was a click, and the beeping stopped.

"Hello?" He asked.

"MTM!" Calvin yelled over the phone. "Thank goodness Andy has you on speed dial! Now it only takes me three minutes to call you!"

"Uh huh." MTM replied.

"Anyway, we need you right away! How fast can you get here?"

"I dunno, three... four seconds."

"Make it quicker!" Calvin ordered.

"Whatever."

Calvin then hung up.

There was a pause.

"Teleporter activated." MTM said, suddenly.

There was a blast of electricity, and the CD player suddenly imploded, leaving the desk bare.

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stood out in the middle of the hallway. Calvin had his hand out in front of him.

Suddenly, the air around Calvin's hand began swirling around.

_KA-ZAAAP!!_

Something chrome and red expanded outward, and suddenly the MTM appeared in Calvin's hands.

"You deliberately waited _five_ seconds, didn't you?" Calvin growled.

"You have no idea how much energy it takes to teleport, do you?" MTM asked.

"Whatever," Calvin said. "MTM, I need you to do a thorough scan of the entire city. Locate this Jark fellow."

"Very well, However, I might want to alert you of something."

"What?" Calvin asked.

"The portal which was ripped open between our world and theirs is getting larger." MTM said.

Andy gasped.

"That must mean there's more monsters coming!" He exclaimed.

"That's the thing, though," MTM replied. "There's nothing else coming out of the portal. With an entire other dimension, you'd think there'd be more monsters. But there isn't."

There was a long pause.

"That's weird..." Calvin started. "From what I've heard from under there, there are _defiantly_ more monsters there. Where all they all?"

There was a long thoughtful moment of silence.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jark had returned to Calvin's house.

He walked up to the wall, and looked up at the window two stories above him.

The monster held his hand up.

Long white claws shot out of its fingers.

It grabbed hold of the wall, and pulled itself upwards.

Then, it gripped the wall with its other hand, and started climbing up the wall towards Calvin's bedroom.

He grabbed hold the window, and pulled himself up.

He looked back and forth around his room, which was empty.

MTM wasn't even there anymore.

Jark turned his head.

His neck cracked as he turned it completely around, and looked back towards the city.

His eyes narrowed.

His vision suddenly zoomed in on the city.

It past up trees and buildings before coming to the theater, again.

There, the spied through the theater's window, and peered straight at Calvin, who was holding the MTM, talking to it.

A wide, sinister grin spread across his face.

"There we go," He growled, dangerously.

Jark released his grip from the house, and landed back on the ground.

He cut his eyes from side to side.

Then, he reached into a pocket in his skin, and pulled out a glowing white orb.

It was vibrating violently, and there were tiny sounds coming from it.

"Patience my brethren." He hissed at it. "You will find your freedom in due time."

And with that, he rushed off back towards town.

* * *

"Alright, MTM," Calvin said, looking around, outside. "I need you to scan the entire city and find him."

"Sure," MTM said.

"But wait a minute," Andy started. "People have _seen_ Jark. What are we going to do before someone calls the FBI about this?"

"Taken care of," Calvin grinned.

There was a pause.

"...How?" Socrates asked.

"Psychology." MTM said.

A man ran past Calvin, Hobbes and the gang, frantically, and up to a pay phone.

He put a quarter in, and started dialing some numbers, breathing heavily, and looking over his shoulder, nervously.

"Hello, police?" He gasped. "There's some kind of manic running around in a dinosaur costume, threatening to kill us!"

There was a pause.

"Sure, I'll hold." He said.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

Just then, Klein came walking out of the theater.

"Well, movie's over." He said.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman groaned.

"How'd it end?" Andy asked.

"Oh I despise spoilers." Klein said, "I don't think I should."

"Yeah, well, he's got a point." Calvin shrugged.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at Calvin.

"Well, I've still got work to do." Klein said, checking his watch.

"Well go on then, Klein," Calvin grinned. "We'll handle this,"

"Sure," Klein said. "Good luck defeating that monster and saving the Earth."

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman's eyes all blanked out as Klein went past them, whistling and jingling some keys in his pocket.

There was a moment of silence.

"Uh, right," Calvin said. "Anyway, MTM I need you to scan the area for Jark!"

"Whatever," MTM said.

"Now, let's get out of here!" Socrates said, looking towards the exit.

"Agreed," Hobbes said.

"Processing." MTM said.

They kept running.

"Processing." MTM repeated.

Calvin ran up to the door.

"Processing." MTM repeated.

Calvin ripped the door open.

Everyone froze.

Jark was standing behind it, grinning, evilly at Calvin, and holding the orb in his hands.

"Hello," He said, dangerously.

"Specified person located." MTM said, suddenly. "He's behind the exit door."

There was a moment of silence.

"Good job," Hobbes said.

Jark made a grab for Calvin, who leaped from the way.

"RUN!!" Calvin screeched.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman whipped around, and started running in the other directions.

Jark watched them, calmly.

"Oh, how I love moving prey," He hissed.

And with that, he crouched down and leaped upward, landing on the roof.

Calvin and the gang ripped through the hallway, passing theater all the theaters up.

"Come on, let's hide in here!" Sherman yelled, pointing at one of the theaters.

Socrates looked at the title.

"_Transformers,_" He read. "Well, that's always nice."

They rushed inside.

The theater was empty.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked around.

The movie had ended, and everyone had left.

"Well, we should be safe in here," Andy said.

"Remember," Calvin said. "Fear and despise every truck you see!"

Everyone rolled their eyes.

There was a moment of silence, as everyone looked around the empty theater.

Just then, there was a rattling coming from up above.

Everyone froze.

Something was scratching around on the roof.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at the ceiling waiting for it to go away.

Finally, the sound seemed to vanish, and everything fell into dead silence, again.

Calvin blinked.

"Well, gee, that was easy." He said to himself.

"He's not gone," MTM said.

"I am quite aware of that, MTM," Calvin said.

"What does he want with you?" Hobbes asked. "Surely he wouldn't go through all this trouble just to eat you!"

"No, that's not it." MTM said. "It's something else. He _needs_ Calvin for something."

"But... what?" Andy asked.

The MTM started humming.

"It has to have something to do with nothing else coming out of the portal except him." The machine considered.

"Well, you know, most of the monsters under my bed vanish when I turn the light on," Calvin said. "But that's not so with Jark,"

"That's right..." MTM hummed. "For the other monsters, the bright light out here would destroy them because of their molecular structure,"

"But Jark's out there," Socrates said. "What's different about him?"

"For some reason his structure is denser, like ours," MTM said. "But.. How?"

Just then, a tan hand exploded from the wall, throwing bricks everywhere.

"AAAAUGH!!" Calvin screamed as it grabbed hold of his shirt, and started pulling him forward.

"CALVIN!" Hobbes yelled, grabbing Calvin's feet.

Andy rushed over, and grabbed Hobbes, and started pulling him back.

Socrates did also.

"Well, this is certainly awkward," MTM said.

Jark yanked his hand out, pulling Calvin, Hobbes, MTM, Socrates, Andy and Sherman along with him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!" They all screamed, upon exiting the building.

Jark held them over the ground, grinning insanely.

"Finally," He growled.

He dropped them all on the ground, where they landed in a heap.

There was a pause.

"OK," Calvin growled, standing up. "You have me, now, so what are you going to do with me?"

Jark stared at Calvin.

"I do not explain my plans to my enemies." He growled, reaching into his pocket.

Calvin aimed the MTM at Jark.

"Too bad, your gonna tell me, strawberry eyes," He warned.

Jark looked back and forth between Calvin and the MTM.

"What are you going to do?" He grinned. "Make me listen to rock 'n' roll on full blast?"

"Sort of," Calvin grinned. "MTM?"

"Yep," MTM replied.

_BLAAAAAST!!_

"AAAUGH!!"

Jark went flying off his feet as the blast threw him backwards.

"Now, that was only minimum power," Calvin warned, moving forward. "Tell me what your doing, and how your able to stay out here, and I'll let you go!"

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

Jark looked up, and grinned at Calvin.

Then, he took the glowing orb out, and tossed it to Calvin.

"Here, catch," He cackled.

The orb flew through the air, towards Calvin.

Calvin unintentionally caught it.

He closed his eyes, gritted his teeth, and turned his head away, waiting for it to explode.

It didn't explode.

Slowly, Calvin turned, and stared at it.

"What's this?" He asked, staring at the glowing orb.

"It's a ball," Jark said. "What do you think it is?"

There was a moment of silence.

Calvin looked back and forth between Jark and the glowng orb.

"Uh, OK," He said, unsurely. "And what exactly am _I_ doing with it?"

Jark grinned, sinisterly.

"Stabilizing it." He said, calmly.

Just then, the orb started vibrating.

Calvin dropped it in surprise.

The orb landed on the ground, and started vibrating more violently than ever.

The wind started picking up.

Jark started laughing, insanely.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at it with wide eyes.

Then, MTM spoke.

"Calvin, you might want to consider dropping that thing," He said.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman turned, and stared at MTM for a long moment.

"What?" MTM asked.

"I hate you," Hobbes growled.

Just then, the top of the orb opened up, and a pair of hands exploded from the opening.

Calvin gasped.

"It's... it's a portal!" He exclaimed.

"Correct," Jark said, as another monster started climbing out of the orb. "And you have stabilized our structure!"

And with that, he started laughing, again.

"Portal..." MTM said to himself. "Stabilized... Oo boy... I just figured out what's going on..."

Calvin and the gang stared in horror as monster after monster started leaping out of the orb, grinning madly, and holding their claws up.

"RUN!!" Calvin screamed.

There was a mad scramble, and Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman and MTM vanished.

"Find them!" Jark ordered. "I want Calvin alive! For the others, you can feast!"

There was a pause.

"Well, the CD player didn't seem that edible." One monster said.

Jark stared at him.

"Then don't eat the CD player," He growled.

"And I think the tigers would give me indigestion," Another monster said, holding his stomach.

Jark glared at him.

"Then don't eat the tigers!" He growled.

"And the boy..."

"LOOK, WOULD YOU JUST BRING THEM BACK HERE?!" Jark shouted, finally.

The monsters saluted, and rushed off.

* * *

"Jark was able to come out into the sun because of the combined power of the Shrinker and me stabilized him, so he could come out here," MTM said, as everyone hid behind a dumpster.

"And the other monsters?" Andy asked.

"Absorbed Calvin's DNA." MTM replied.

Calvin's eyes squinted.

"That's how they were able to come out then," Andy said.

"But why me?" Calvin demanded. "Why couldn't he just use someone else?"

"No, he had to use you," MTM said. "You're the one who's been over the open portal for all these years, so you're the only one who could properly stabilize them."

"So what's going to happen now?" Hobbes asked, watching as a pair of monsters walked by them.

"Eh, The monsters are going to kill off the human race and take the Earth for themselves." MTM said, calmly.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Socrates said.

Calvin's mind was racing.

"Suppose we could destabilize them?" He said, finally.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked around at Calvin.

"How do you mean?" Sherman asked.

"If we could somehow destabilized them all, then what would happen?" Calvin asked, turning to the MTM.

MTM was silent for a moment.

"Then, they'd activate a device they have with them that would suck them back into their dimension." He said, finally.

Calvin grinned.

"Sounds good to me," He said.

"But how are we going to destabilized them?" Socrates asked.

Calvin thought for a moment.

Then, his eyes lit up, and the grin got larger.

"I've got it!" He chuckled.

* * *

Jark stood on the top of the theater, laughing insanely.

"People of Earth!" He cackled. "Hear me! My name is Jark! I am the most powerful monster in the entire monster universe! _I AM YOUR FUTURE!!_"

People stared at Jark in confusion, trying to figure out why there was a man in a costume on the building screaming at them.

Jark glared at them all.

"Didn't you hear me?" He demanded. "SURRENDER TO ME!!"

Several people exchanged glances, then kept on walking.

Jark glared at them.

"Very well," He growled. "Then you will be _destroyed._"

The monster held his hand up, which began glowing.

He prepared to bring it down, when suddenly, another monster ran up.

"Uh, Master?" He said, unsurely, running up.

"What?" Jark demanded, whirling around to the monster. "Did you locate Calvin?"

The monster stared at him.

"Uh... What?" He started.

Jark's eyes narrowed.

"Oh!" The monster said, suddenly. "No, we haven't found him. But we found his CD player!"

The creature opened up his fist, revealing the MTM.

"Hell-o," MTM said, cheerfully.

Jark stared at him.

Then a wide grin spread across his face.

"Ah, the little dog with a nasty bite." He growled.

The monster set the MTM down, and ran off.

"How does it feel?" Jark asked, glaring down at the CD players.

"Easy." MTM replied, simply.

Jark stared at him.

"What?" He asked.

"I said it feels easy." MTM said.

"What are you talking about?" Jark demanded.

"It was easy to track you down. I didn't even need to locate your DNA signature." MTM said. "My sensors could pick up your body odor over five miles away. I mean _seriously_, when was the last time you took a shower, Zit face?"

Jark glared murderously at the MTM.

"You seem over confident," He said, calmly. "Are you assuming your going to escape?"

"Right, like I can really escape." MTM said. "I'm a CD player, you overgrown sparrow! Ooooh, lock it up and swallow the key! Put a 24 hour guard on it! The CD player might escape!"

Jark stared at MTM.

"Yeah, I think I'm just going to destroy you, instead of using you to take over the Earth," He said, calmly.

"Oh, sure," MTM said. "The CD player is a threat! Kill it! It might stop me in my highly unoriginal plans!"

Jark growled, and raising his claws.

"Unfortunately for you, that _is_ the case here," MTM said.

_KA-BOOM!_

Suddenly electricity exploded from the tip of the MTM, engulfing Jark in yellow.

"AAAUGH!" Jark screamed, stumbling backwards.

He almost fell off the roof, then turned back to MTM.

"THAT'S IT!! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!" He roared.

"I think the word you're looking for is deactivate, because I'm not alive, you see," MTM said. "I merely carry with a me a voice chip and a personality hardrive."

"I _WILL_ DESTROY YOU!!" Jark screamed, advancing over the MTM. "And I _WILL_ take over the planet!"

"Did your mummy tell you that?" MTM questioned.

Jark shrieked, angrily, and began flailing his arms against the brick wall next to him.

"Whoops, someone give his lolly pop back!" MTM shouted.

Jark snatched the MTM of the ground, and held up to eye level, growling, dangerously.

"Ooooh... bad move, Takeo," MTM said.

Suddenly, the CD player started glowing bright green.

Jark stared at him for a moment, then suddenly his eyes popped open.

He screeched and dropped the MTM.

MTM's arms shot out of the tip, and lowered it to the ground, softly.

"How did you get so hot?!" Jark demanded.

"I've always been hot, baby," MTM replied.

Jark began screaming, again.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!" He shrieked. "You just generated enough heat to bend metal!"

"No, I didn't." MTM replied. "All I did was activate my energy absorber. I just sucked all the foreign DNA out of you. Wasn't that nice of me?"

Jark stared at MTM in horror.

"YOU _WHAT?!_" He demanded.

"Teleportor activated." MTM said, casually.

_ZZZZZZT!!_

Suddenly, Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman appeared around the MTM, grinning, happily.

"Hello," Calvin said, friendly, holding his hand up in greeting.

"YOU'RE GOING TO _PAY!!_" Jark screamed, angrily, moving towards Calvin.

"Pay?" Andy demanded. "He doesn't owe you a cent!"

Calvin, Hobbes and the others nodded in agreement.

Jark reached out for Calvin, his arm shaking.

Then suddenly, he collapsed to the ground.

"The sun!" He screeched. "It's too... bright..."

"Don't worry," Socrates said, picking the MTM up. "Only five billion years before it goes out."

Jark reached into his pocket, and pulled out a chrome remote.

He glared angrily at Calvin.

"I will have my vengeance, Calvin," He growled, calmly. "_Mark my words._"

"That's nice." Calvin grinned. "Anything else unoriginal you'd like to say and or do before you go?"

Jark glared at Calvin, and pushed the button on the remote.

The lights along the remote began turning on and it began beeping.

Suddenly, the monster imploded into a tiny portal in the air, disappearing inside it.

The portal lingered for a moment, then vanished.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman and MTM stared at it for a moment.

Then, Socrates handed the MTM to Calvin.

"Well, better email the upgrade." He grinned.

"Yep, I'd better," Calvin grinned.

He calmly walked over to the edge of the roof.

"MTM, activate your energy absorber." Calvin said. "Destabilize every single monster in a fifty five mile radius."

"Gotchya," MTM replied.

Suddenly, a green light burst from the MTM, engulfing everything around the group.

This occurred for only a split second, then disappeared.

"There we go," MTM said. "DNA absorbed."

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman grinned, and walked over to the edge of the roof.

Suddenly, all the monsters around them started screeching in pain and collapsing on the ground.

People walked past them, staring at them, like they were loons.

Then, suddenly, all the monsters began grabbing their devices and hitting the buttons.

One by one, the creatures started imploding back into their dimension.

Conveniently no one saw any of this.

Of course.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched this occur.

"This is the most unobservant town on the planet." MTM commented.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman nodded.

Calvin turned to the MTM.

"MTM. Transportor." He said. "Destination, my room."

"Uh huh." MTM replied.

_ZZZZZT!!_

Suddenly, there was a blast of electricity, and everyone disappeared.

Then, reappearing in Calvin's room.

Calvin looked around at all the damage the Mega-Shrinker 6000 and Jark had done.

Everything was either enlarged or shrunk, the walls had been ripped up, the bed had been flipped over, and there was a gaping portal on the floor where the bed used to be.

"Hmm, this simply won't do," Calvin said, tapping his chin.

"Calvin, how are you going to clean this all up?" Andy asked.

"Simple." Calvin grinned. "MTM? Activate concentrated time vortex,"

The MTM beeped.

"Reverse polarity and close the portal." Calvin continued.

A red light shot out of the MTM, and went into the large portal.

Slowly, it began closing up.

Calvin kept the MTM steady.

Suddenly, the entire entrance disappeared, leaving only the floor.

Calvin then stood back, and aimed the MTM at his room.

He pushed a button.

_ZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!_

Suddenly, a white, spiraling funnel shot itself from the MTM, and engulfed the whole room.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched from behind Calvin.

Suddenly, all the items in Calvin's room grew or shrank to their original sizes. The rips and missing parts of the wall disappeared, revealing it untouched. The bed flipped back onto its stand, and made itself.

Then, the Mega-Shrinker 6000 lifted off the ground, and dropped back onto Calvin's desk.

The wire, which it had been placed right next to, reconnected to the microphone.

Calvin pushed the STOP button on the machine.

The funnel stopped, and left the room, looking totally untouched.

"There," Calvin announced. "All is as it should be,"

"How... how did you.." Socrates began.

"It was a concentrated time vortex," Sherman said, turning to Socrates. "Don't you listen to _anything?_"

Socrates glared at him.

Calvin sighed, and walked over to the Mega-Shrinker 5000.

"And here's the shrink ray." He muttered. "Right back where I started."

"Ah, cheer up, Calvin," Hobbes said, encouragingly, walking up to Calvin. "At least it's working, now."

Calvin glared at him.

"Or... right..." Hobbes began.

There was an awkward silence.

"Well..." Calvin said, straightening up. "At least I _did_ upgrade it. Therefore that part of my resolution _still_ is done!"

"Actually since you involved the time vortex..." MTM began.

"Shut up," Calvin spat. "It's done! Deal with it! Andy! Quick! What time is it?!"

Andy checked his watch.

"It's four fourteen." He said.

"Cool!" Calvin grinned. "There's another showing of Underdog coming on in six minutes!"

"But we can't afford it," Socrates said.

"Oh, if I know the Kleins well enough, he'll let us in for free." Hobbes assured. "He's the only adult who knows what we've been doing for the last half hour."

Calvin nodded.

"Thank goodness God decided to throw the Klein family on Earth!" He grinned.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.

"Well.. OK, then," Andy said. "Let's go, then,"

"MTM, teleportor!" Calvin ordered.

"Yep, just use my batteries all you like, I don't mind." MTM said.

There was a blast of electricity, and Calvin, Hobbes and the rest disappeared into thin air.

The camera pans over to the underside of Calvin's bed.

At first, there's nothing

Then, suddenly, a pair of glowing red eyes appeared in the darkness.

"HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" Jark cackled, evilly.

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon** Calvin**  
Tom Hanks** Hobbes / Monster 4**  
Ryan Stiles** Socrates  
**Andrew Lawrence** Andy  
**Colin Mochrie** Sherman  
**Norman Lovett** MTM  
**Rob Paulsen** Jark  
**Tom Kenny** Monster 1  
**French Stewart **Monster 2  
**Bill Murray** Monster 3 / Guy at the theater  
**Robert Klein** Klein  
**Dee Bradly Baker** Guy calling the police

* * *

**Coming up Next: **The Genius Hamster


	28. The Genius Hamster

**Summary: **Calvin leaves Hobbes in charge in babysitting Sherman while he and the MTM go to the county fair.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**The Genius Hamster**

Andy was walking out to the mailbox one afternoon. He was enjoying the autumn air. He opened up the mailbox and pulled out the contents.

As he was closing the door on the mailbox, he heard something.

_**SPLOOSH!**_

"CALVIN!!" Susie shrieked.

Andy watched as Calvin suddenly tore past him.

"Hi, Andy! Bye, Andy!" he shouted.

As Calvin disappeared, Susie, who was dripping wet, ran up.

"Where is he?!" she demanded, pointing at Andy.

Andy stared at her, and then nodded in the direction Calvin ran in.

"He went that-a-way," he said.

Susie growled and tore after him again.

Andy shook his head and walked back into the house.

When he got there, Sherman was working on one of his inventions. Andy put the mail down on the counter Sherman was sitting on and sorted through it.

"Anything for me?" he asked.

"I don't think so," Andy said, looking through it all. "There's nothing here written in black cursive letters and the stench of snootiness."

Sherman rolled his eyes.

"Anything for you?"

"Just the usual. I've supposedly won twelve million dollars, an offer for some plastic egg cups, a letter from the counselor, and…huh, what's this?" he said, picking up a certain envelope.

"Who's it from?" Sherman asked.

"It would appear to be from the Movie Club I signed up to a few months back. Evidently there's a convention for one of the movies I selected when I signed up, and I've been invited," he said.

Sherman groaned.

"Oh, just what I _didn't_ need," he grunted. "I'm in no mood to go gallivanting off to some conventions filled with snot-nosed movie fans obsessing over the dumbest little details and mistakes made in _Star Wars_."

Andy continued to read the invitation.

"I'm glad you feel that way, because you can't go," he said.

Sherman looked up in surprise.

"What?! Why not?!" he demanded.

"The hotel they're having me stay at has a strict 'no pet' policy," he explained. "You're not allowed to come."

"But that's not fair!" Sherman whined.

Andy arched an eyebrow at Sherman.

"Oh? Whatever happened to the geeks?"

"It's the principle of the matter! It's animalism!" Sherman protested. "Why shouldn't I be allowed to go?!"

"Well, you're a pet, and you know what pets do on carpets, right?"

Sherman rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I'll just stay here then. Perhaps I'll work on my stuff while you're gone."

"Oh, no, no, no, no!" he said, putting the invitation away. "There's no way in heck we're leaving you here by yourself."

"Why not?!"

"Shermie, you do enough damage to this house when I'm actually here! Imagine the death and destruction you would cause with_out_ me!"

"But I—"

"End of discussion," Andy said, putting a hand up.

Sherman stared at him, and then grumbled to himself and looked away, crossing his arms.

"Fine," he muttered.

Andy sighed.

"Okay," he said. "We're going to have to find a babysitter for you," he said, scratching his chin.

"Please don't call it that," Sherman muttered, squeezing his eyes shut.

Andy rolled his eyes and walked over to a small book.

"Let's see…," he said, opening it. "Let's see what my mom has in her address book."

"Preferably someplace with a lot of space," Sherman muttered.

* * *

A few hours later, Andy was walking over towards Socrates' mansion. He rang the doorbell.

_DING, DING, DING, DING... DING... _DING..._. __**DONG!!**_

Andy rolled his eyes.

After a few moments, the door was yanked open.

Socrates stood there, grinning like a lunatic.

"Ah, Andrew!" he said cheerfully. "What brings you here?"

"Well, my family and I are going out of town for a few days," he explained.

"Really? How exciting for you. I trust you're here to say farewell?"

"Partly."

"What's the other part?"

"I was wondering if you'd be willing to look after Sherman while I'm gone."

Socrates paused and thought for a moment.

"Sorry, I'm booked solid this week," he said at last.

"It took a few seconds to remember that, apparently," Andy commented, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

Socrates grinned.

"Look, I'd love to watch the little tyke, but I've got lots of pranks to work on," he said. "Why don't you call around and get him to stay with Calvin and Hobbes?"

"Well, you know about how Sherman and Hobbes get along," he said.

"They don't."

"Exactly."

Socrates simply grinned again.

"Well, good luck," he said. "I've got other stuff to do."

And with that, he slammed the door in Andy's face.

_**SLAM!**_

Andy glared at the door.

Then he looked down the street. He could see Calvin's yellow two-story house just a ways down.

"Well, I guess it couldn't hurt," he said.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were sitting in their chair before the TV.

"Look at this!" Hobbes complained. "It's the dumbest commercial I've ever seen!"

"The Diet Dr Pepper commercial?" Calvin asked. "What's wrong with it?"

"They say_ Diet Dr Pepper: There's nothing diet about it_," Hobbes explained. "Isn't that sort of taking the whole entire point of _diet_ away?"

Calvin shrugged. "I suppose."

"And then there are all these idiotic names for the new flavors of soda!" Hobbes continued. "There's my favorite stupid one, the Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper!"

"What's wrong with it?"

"What do you mean, what's wrong with it?!" Hobbes cried. "It reads like a Russian novel or a cookbook listing every conceivable ingredient you could _put_ in a soda!"

Calvin nodded.

"I mostly feel sorry for the poor graphic designer that had to make the logo for _that_ train wreck of a name!" he said.

Hobbes continued to mumble stuff when Dad leaned over the chair.

"Calvin, I don't suppose you could pull yourself away from this idiot box to talk to your friend Andy on the phone," he said, handing it to Calvin.

Calvin took it and Dad left.

"Hello?" he asked. "Andy, what's up?"

There was a pause as Andy spoke over the phone.

Calvin glanced over at Hobbes, and then he carefully got out of the chair and hid behind it.

"Okay, I'm out of his earshot. What do you want?" he asked.

There was a pause.

"Could we? I don't know. I suppose we could. It's okay with me. It's Hobbes we should worry about. He isn't in the best of moods right now."

There was another pause.

Calvin listened.

"I suppose we could try," he said. "Bring him over tomorrow."

Calvin hung up the phone, and then he walked over into the kitchen where Dad was making himself a sandwich.

"Dad?" he asked.

"Hmm?" Dad said.

"Andy's going out of town for a few days, and he was wondering if we could watch Sherman for the next few days while he's gone."

"Sherman?" Dad asked.

"His pet hamster."

"Ah. Well, yes, I suppose we could, provided you're willing to look after him. Hamsters are tough to take care of."

"You have no idea," Calvin muttered.

Dad grinned as he took his sandwich to the next room.

"You'll be building lots of character by doing this," he said.

Calvin groaned.

"You just _had_ to get that in there, didn't you?" he grunted.

* * *

That evening, Calvin was sitting in his room just after taking his bath. He was just going to his dresser to change into his pajamas when Hobbes entered.

"What's going on tomorrow?" he asked, brushing his fur.

"Well, I don't know about you, but_ I'm_ going to a county fair tomorrow. I've been looking forward to it all week!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Meh, do what you want," he said. "I plan on having the house to myself tomorrow."

Calvin gulped.

"Uh, yeah, about that, Hobbes…," he said nervously.

Hobbes glanced up at him.

"What about it?" he asked.

"Er, well, you won't be…_completely _alone."

Hobbes raised an eyebrow.

"And why not?" he asked.

"Um…well…because…"

We now cut to an exterior shot of the house.

"YOU WHAT?!" Hobbes is heard screaming.

* * *

The next day, Andy was up bright and early. He was getting ready to go on his trip. His parents had finished loading up the car, and they were waiting for him to finish preparing Sherman.

"Shermie!" Andy shouted. "It's time to go!"

But when he went to get Sherman's cage, he found that Sherman was not inside it. He could see a little sign inside that read, _Gone fishin'_.

Andy rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Look, I know you don't want to stay with Calvin and Hobbes, but we have very few options! Now get out here!"

Still no sign of him.

Andy sighed.

"Okay then, I'll just cancel your subscription to _Science Genius Monthly_ then," he said, crossing his arms.

_**SHOOM!**_

Andy looked up and saw Sherman was clinging to his head with a horrified look on his face.

"There we go," Andy said triumphantly.

He took Andy off his head and put him in the cage, and he locked the door on it.

"Okay," he said. "Are we ready to go?"

"No," Sherman grumbled.

"Excellent! Let's go!"

Andy picked up the cage and hightailed it to the car.

A minute later, the car pulled up to the yellow house.

Andy got out of the backseat and carried Sherman's cage over to the house.

Or at least, he tried to.

Cinderblocks and barbed wire looped the entire front yard, and Hobbes was sitting behind a bunker made of flour bags, and he was wearing a green army helmet and holding a popgun.

"No rats beyond this point!" he ordered.

Sherman glared at him.

Andy rolled his eyes.

"Hobbes, let us through," Andy sighed.

"Sorry, Andy, but that Vermin isn't getting beyond this point!" Hobbes said sternly.

Just then, Calvin arrived. He proceeded in climbing over Hobbes and over the bunker, and he approached Andy and Sherman.

Hobbes stared at him.

"Drat," he mumbled.

Calvin took Sherman's cage.

"Any last minute instructions I should know about?" he asked.

"Just keep _C-Span_ turned on, and you'll be fine," Andy said reassuringly. "You're sure this isn't too much trouble?"

"Nah, we'll be fine," Calvin said. "You go off and enjoy your nerds."

Andy rolled his eyes.

"Shermie, you behave now, okay?" he said.

"Humph," Sherman snorted, not looking at him.

Andy waved goodbye and ran back to the car. Once he was inside, the car drove off.

Calvin waved as it drove away. Then he faced Sherman.

"Okay, Sherman, what do you want to do?"

Sherman didn't reply. He just grumbled.

Calvin then glanced over at Hobbes, whom had reassumed his guarding stance.

"Hobbes, let us through," he ordered.

"Sorry, Calvin, but you brought this on yourself," Hobbes replied. "Unless you put him down, you are not allowed through here."

Calvin sighed and pulled out the Transmogrifier gun and aimed it at Hobbes.

_**BRZAP!**_

Hobbes was transmogrified into a rabbit that was now wearing an army helmet, but he couldn't get a good grip on the popgun.

"Hey!" he cried. "Change me back!"

Calvin ignored Hobbes and carried Sherman's cage over the bunker, and once he was at the front door, he fired the gun at Hobbes again.

_**BRZAP!**_

Hobbes was restored to his tiger form.

Sherman was snickering at him.

Hobbes glared at them as Calvin simply grinned and took Sherman inside.

* * *

A few minutes later, Calvin, Hobbes and Sherman were seated around the table.

Hobbes and Sherman were glaring at each other from either end.

Calvin sat uncomfortably between them, his eyes shifting back and forth.

"Okay…," he said at last. "How about we play a game? Any suggestions?"

"How about 'bite me'?" Sherman growled.

Calvin shrugged.

"Alright, who's it?" he asked.

They both glared at him.

Calvin sighed.

"Okay, fine, forget it," he grunted, and he got up and left.

Hobbes and Sherman continued to glare at each other.

Finally, Hobbes got bored and left.

Sherman sat on the table, not moving.

Hobbes followed Calvin into the living room.

"Calvin, how could you have done this to me?" he moaned. "You know what I think about Sherman!"

"Hobbes, you act as though he's never set foot in our house before. He's been here hundreds of times!"

"Yes, but during all those times, I was comforted by the fact that he would leave before bedtime!"

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Look, you two are going to have to get along. MTM and I are going to the county fair."

"What?! No! You can't leave me here! I can't… Why are you taking the MTM?" he asked.

Calvin pulled MTM out his pocket.

"Well, I've never been to the county fair before," MTM replied. "Should be a laugh."

"Uh-huh," said Calvin. "Let's go. I can tell I'll need the time away from the house."

"But Calvin…!" Hobbes whined.

"Hobbes, no!" Calvin ordered. "I'm putting you in charge of the house while I'm away. Keep an eye on Sherman. Make sure he doesn't try to run off."

Hobbes watched as Calvin walked out the door.

"Don't worry! I'll bring back any food I can scrounge up!" he promised.

"Taa!" said MTM.

And they were out the door.

Hobbes stared at it.

"Great…," he muttered. "I'm all alone in this house with a smart-aleck genius hamster. What else can go wrong?!"

He walked over to the TV, and got a surprise.

Sherman was sitting in the chair, watching _C-Span_. He had the remote in his paws.

"Well, you ask a boneheaded question…," Hobbes muttered.

He approached the chair Sherman was sitting in.

"Vermin?" he said.

"Shut up," Sherman snapped.

Hobbes growled and snatched the remote away from Sherman.

"Hey!"

Hobbes ignored him and changed the channel. He put_ Animal Planet_ on.

"Put it back!" Sherman ordered.

Hobbes pushed him over.

"My house, and my rules," he said simply. "Calvin stepped out for a while, and now _I'm_ in charge, and _I_ say we're watching _Animal Planet_."

Sherman jumped onto the remote and landed on the channel changer.

The channel went back to _C-Span_.

"Well, _I'm_ the guest, and _I_ say we're watching _C-Span_," he retorted.

Hobbes began to growl.

"Uh, no, we're watching _Animal Planet_," he said, getting up and changing the channel.

The TV changed back again.

Sherman grumbled and pressed the channel changer.

"_C-Span_!" he cried.

Hobbes pressed the button.

"_Animal Planet!_" he shouted.

This went on several times.

Finally, they both got bored of it.

* * *

At the county fair, Calvin had gotten inside, and he was marveling at all the rides and the stands.

"Look at it all, MTM!" he said, holding the CD player up. "Isn't it neat?!"

MTM took it all in.

"Hmmm…," he said. "It reeks of regurgitation and high-cholesterol."

"I know! Isn't it fantastic?!"

Calvin looked all around.

"Gee, which ride should we go on first?!" he asked.

Then they heard lots of laughter coming from nearby.

"What's that then?" MTM asked.

Calvin looked over and saw a crowd gathered around a stage.

"It looks like a show of some sort," he said. He walked over to it the crowd and made his way to the front.

He stared at who he saw standing onstage.

"Klein?!" he cried.

Yes, Klein was standing onstage doing a show, and he hadn't seen Calvin yet.

"Graffiti is a disease that is mostly Eastern and can be found on many men's rooms, particularly in bowling alleys," he said. "I have seen graffiti, and I have to say that it ranges in style. The best bit I've ever seen was when I went to a concert that was being held at Harvard University's theater. I went to the restroom and went into the stall and I found that someone had painted a three-panel job on the walls!"

The crowd started to laugh.

"It was amazing! It was so stylish with quotes from the bible and everything! I got so interested I peed on my shoe!"

The crowd laughed even harder.

"It's sure hecks of a lot better than stuff you see on the wall at Kroger that says cheap stuff like 'Bite me' and 'Prices here are too high' and 'You must be this tall'."

The crowd continued to laugh.

Calvin watched him, impressed.

But while this was going on, he didn't notice a figure standing nearby wearing a trench coat.

Hobbes was now sitting in his chair reading a comic book.

Sherman came in.

"Hobbes, I'm hungry," he said.

"Alert Ripley's," Hobbes replied, not looking up.

"Look, you've got to help me. None of your stuff here is compatible with my tiny paws."

"And Hobbes wept."

Sherman glared.

"I'm fully prepared to bite all your possessions to shreds," he threatened.

Hobbes didn't move.

Then Sherman got an evil grin.

"You know, this reminds of a time at the university," he said.

Hobbes slammed the comic book shut and got up.

"That's just playing dirty," he grumbled.

Sherman grinned sweetly.

"What do you want?" Hobbes sighed, walking into the kitchen.

"Nothing much," Sherman replied, following him. "Just a small sandwich would do me good."

Hobbes grumbled.

"I'll make you a turkey sandwich and that's it," he grunted.

Sherman nodded.

Hobbes pulled out some turkey, cheese, mustard and mayonnaise.

"Okay," said Hobbes. "How do you want this made?"

"Well, two slice of bread. Now cut the turkey thin, but not too thin."

Hobbes nodded and started slicing the turkey thinly.

"Now put the mustard on the turkey in a clockwise motion, and then place a slab of cheese on top. Pour the mayonnaise on top of that, but in a _counter_clockwise motion. Add an extra slice of turkey on top, and then place the second slice of bread on top, and make sure the two slices of bread are even."

Hobbes worked as hard as he could to make the sandwich through Sherman's instructions, and he began wondering why he was doing this.

Finally, he finished it.

Sherman looked at it.

"I don't suppose you could make it smaller?" he asked.

Hobbes groaned and rubbed his head in agony. He went upstairs and fetched the Mega-Shrinker 5000. He brought it back down to the kitchen and plugged it in, and then he aimed it at the sandwich.

_**ZEEEEEEEEE**__EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!!_

The sandwich shrunk down to Sherman's size.

"_Much _better," Sherman said, and he picked it up and took a bite out of it.

Hobbes sighed and wiped the sweat from his brow.

"How is it?" he asked.

"Surprisingly predictable," Sherman said, scowling.

Hobbes stared at him. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he collapsed and fainted in annoyance.

Sherman watched him, then shrugged and continued eating.

* * *

Calvin had managed to meet with Klein after the show. They were walking around the park.

"What's the job you have here exactly?" Calvin asked.

"I do comedy acts," said Klein. "I perform for those with weak stomachs and cowardice."

Calvin nodded. "Well, I only stopped because I recognized you," he said. "Do you know which rides I should go on?"

Klein stopped him and looked around. Then a grin crept across his face.

"Look over there," he said, pointing to a ride.

Calvin's jaw dropped open as he stared at it.

It was the biggest rollercoaster he had ever seen.

"What _is_ it?" Calvin gasped.

"The Big Screamer-Whirl-a-Noise," Klein said. "She's a beaut, isn't she?"

"Indeed," Calvin said. "Klein? I'm gonna ride it!" he said in a thick Western accent.

"Go for it," Klein said. "I've got to get back to my show in a few minutes. Just make sure that you don't eat before going on most of these rides."

Calvin nodded, and with MTM tucked away in his pocket, he went to go ride the rollercoaster.

Klein chuckled, and then he turned to head back to his stage. But as he started to walk, he noticed the person in the trench coat. Klein raised an eyebrow because he couldn't see his face. When the person, turned towards the sun, the sunlight seemed to reflect off something that was on the person's face.

Klein watched for a second, but then shrugged it off and went towards his stage.

* * *

"There it is, MTM," Calvin grinned staring up at the roller coaster. "The biggest, fastest roller coaster in the history of roller coasters!"

"Uh huh," MTM said, "Looks like one big suicide machine to me,"

"That's what makes it so fun!" Calvin grinned. "Let's get on!"

Calvin ran over to the line.

"Hmm, I sense a problem..." MTM observed.

"What?" Calvin asked.

"You need to be a certain height to ride this thing," MTM said. "Doesn't look like your tall enough, either."

"Taken care of, MTM," Calvin grinned.

Suddenly, that same man in the trench coat and hat walked up and got in line behind Calvin.

Calvin and MTM paid no attention to him.

The man at the entrance of the roller coaster watched silently as people walked past him and the "you have to be this tall" sign, and into the ride.

Suddenly, Calvin came walking up.

The man stared at him.

He saw a six year boy clearly wearing a pair of stilts under his pants holding a CD player, grinning at him.

"Here are the tickets my good man," Calvin said, handing it to him.

"Whatever," The man said, taking the tickets.

Calvin stumbled into the entrance.

Next walked up the man in the trench coat.

He silently gave the man his tickets and followed Calvin inside.

Inside the building, Calvin quickly took the stilts off, and stored them back into the MTM's hypercube.

"That was easy," He grinned. "Those kids on TV should try stuff like that instead of those silly growth machines and potions."

"Right," MTM said, dully.

Calvin and the MTM boarded the roller coaster, which sat steaming on the tracks.

The man in the trench coat followed and sat down behind Calvin.

They were the only ones on the coaster, conveniently.

The operator stood at the controls.

"Alright," He said, expressionlessly. "Keep your arms and legs inside the carts, make a weird face when you come to the camera, blah, blah, blah, you know the drill.

He pulled the lever down.

_KRANK!!_

Suddenly, the roller coaster began moving forward.

"This is going to be great MTM!"

"Oh, yes, I can tell," MTM said. "Just try not throw up on me on the third loop."

"Gochya," Calvin said.

The coaster exited the building and began climbing up the hill, slowly.

_K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K!_

"You see they go slow to build up the suspense," Calvin grinned, excitedly.

"Thanks for clearing that up," MTM said, blandly.

The coaster reached the top of the hill and paused.

Then, suddenly, it dropped straight downwards.

_SHOOOOOOOOOM!!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!" Calvin screamed, his arms going to the air.

MTM bounced around in the seat, but managed to hang onto the seat with his manipulator arms.

The coaster made a sharp turn, and everyone went to the left.

"WHOOO HOOO!!" Calvin screamed.

The man in the trench coat remained silent, though, and seemed to not be affected by the sharp turns.

"ISN'T THIS GREAT, MTM?!" Calvin shrieked as the coaster went upside down a fifth time.

"Oh, it's absolutely wonderful," MTM said, sarcastically. "By the way, that man behind you is about to grab you."

"WHAT?!" Calvin screamed.

"I said, look out for the... oh, you'll see," MTM sighed.

"WHAT?!" Calvin screamed, again.

Suddenly, the man in the trench coat lunged forward, and grabbed Calvin's head. In doing so, his hat came flying off, and his face was revealed.

"HEY!" Calvin screamed.

He turned his head around, and looked for his attacker.

His eyes popped open.

"_Retro?!_" He screamed.

Retro grinned evilly, the golden "H" on his forehead gleaming in the sunlight.

* * *

Hobbes and Sherman sat in opposite sides of the living room, glaring at each other.

"Hobbes?" Sherman said, finally.

"I don't like you," Hobbes replied.

Sherman rolled eyes.

"Look, if we're going to get through this miserable day, we're going to have to get along with each other until Andy comes back in the next few days,"

"I refuse to be nice to you," Hobbes said, stubbornly, crossing his arms.

"I don't care!" Sherman growled. "Let's just act half way civilized until tomorrow, huh?"

Hobbes and Sherman glared at each other for a while.

Finally, Hobbes spoke.

"Fine, just do everything I tell you to do, and we can get along just fine," He said.

"OK, this is getting a little ridiculous," Sherman grumbled.

* * *

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Calvin screamed, pulling out of Retro's grasp.

"Why, killing you, of course." Holographic Retro grinned, making another grab for Calvin.

"STOP!" Calvin screamed, ducking. "You picked a really bad time to start attacking me!"

"Why?" Retro grinned, standing up out of his seat. "I'm a hologram! I can't be killed if I fall off the coaster. _You_ on the other hand..."

"AAUGH!!" Calvin screamed, ducking Retro's punch.

"A bit awkward, you think?" MTM asked.

Retro laughed, insanely, and made another grab for Calvin.

"MTM, initiate emergency protocol number 2235!" Calvin screamed, frantically, ducking Retro.

"I can't believe you can remember all these numbers," MTM commented.

"_**JUST DO IT!!**_" Calvin screeched.

Retro grabbed Calvin, and prepared to heave him out of the coaster.

_**BLAST!!**_

"AAUGH!"

Suddenly, the MTM shot a laser blast at Retro, knocking him into the other seat.

At the same time, the roller coaster rounded another corner, sending Retro colliding with the seat.

_**BONK!**_

"OW!"

Calvin grabbed the MTM, and stood up in his seat.

"And yet, this isn't half as dangerous as the time your Dad tried to fix the toaster," MTM said.

Calvin nodded.

The coaster suddenly came to another sharp turn.

It ripped around it, and sent Calvin flying off.

"AAAAAAUGH!!" Calvin screamed, now being thrown to the ground.

Suddenly, the MTM's manipulator arms shot out of the tip, and extended outward, grabbing the side of the coaster.

Calvin was now hanging to MTM for dear life as the coaster made another loop upside down.

Retro looked up, rubbing his head.

He stared at Calvin, at the MTM, then at the manipulator arms, which had a tight grasp on the railing.

A wide, evil grin spread across his face.

Fighting against the wind, the hologram began climbing forward, grasping the seats as he went.

He climbed up to the MTM's mechanical arms, and pulled out a knife.

"Don't worry Calvin!" He cackled up at Calvin and MTM. "It isn't the fall that kills you! It's the sudden stop at the end!"'

"This just goes to show how completely unobservant the people in this town are," MTM said.

Retro took his knife, and slashed right through the mechanical arms.

_KSSSSH!!_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGH!!" Calvin screamed as he went bolting backwards again.

Retro laughed insanely as the severed robotic hands sizzled and threw up sparks, and remained gripping the coaster.

Retro turned around.

He saw that the roller coaster was starting to slow down.

"Oops," He said, his grin dropping.

He reached up and pushed the H on his forehead.

_ZIIIIP!_

Retro was immediately absorbed into the lightbee, which bolted away as the roller coaster came to a stop in the building, again.

The man at the controls stared at the coaster.

There was a trench coat and a hat laying in one of the seats, and a pair of severed robot arms gripping the railing on the side.

He blinked.

"I suppose I should be suspicious about this," He considered.

There was a pause.

"Nah," he said, finally. "Next!"

Calvin and MTM went tumbling through the air, Calvin screaming his head off.

Suddenly, a white parachute blasted out of the tip of the MTM, and caught them.

They lightly fell to the ground, and disappeared underneath the parachute.

_WHOOSH!!_

The parachute was then absorbed back into the MTM's hypercube, revealing Calvin laying face down on the pavement.

Slowly he stood up, and looked around.

People were walking past him, not even seeming to notice that he had just fallen from nowhere and that a CD player had saved him.

Right.

"That... was... so... _**COOOOL!!**_" Calvin screamed, his fists going to the sky. "That was the best roller coaster ride I've ever been on!"

"Ugh," MTM groaned. "My first and last. You owe me a new pair of arms."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll do that after we get rid of Alphabet Head," Calvin said. "Come on!"

Calvin and MTM rushed off.

* * *

Sherman sat inside his cage typing on a small computer.

Hobbes sat at the couch watching TV.

"I can't believe this internet connection you have!" Sherman complained.

"What's wrong with it?" Hobbes asked.

"It's a 22 Kbps dial up connection!" Sherman exclaimed. "Does _anyone_ still have internet that slow?!"

"Yes, we do," Hobbes said. "Why, do you have a fast connection?"

"Yes, I have a 4 Gbps connection," Sherman said, turning to Hobbes.

"I'd care a little more if I knew what the heck you were talking about," Hobbes said, turning back to the TV.

"Come on, cat," Sherman said. "_surely_ you know what kilobytes and gigabytes are?"

Hobbes gave Sherman a blank stare.

Sherman sighed.

"Look, Vermin, I'm sorry that I'm not a computer nerd like you are," Hobbes growled, turning back to the TV. "If you don't like our internet get us a new cord."

"Modem" Sherman corrected.

"Shut up," Hobbes snapped.

Sherman grumbled to himself, and turned back to the computer.

"Here I am trying to download the episode of _Planet Earth_ that I missed on Youtube, and it takes three minutes to load two seconds! I mean what's the point of having internet at all if... HEY!"

Suddenly, a blanket was thrown over the top of Sherman's cage, plunging the hamster into darkness.

"GET THIS BLANKET OFF ME!!" Sherman ordered.

Hobbes turned the volume up on the TV.

"CAT! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!" Sherman shouted.

"Yeah, yeah," Hobbes muttered, rolling his eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile, Klein had finished up his latest act, and he was in his trailer, eating a burger.

Suddenly, Calvin burst inside, panting, heavily.

"Hey, dude, what's up?" Klein asked.

"Klein, I'm being traced by a maniac!" Calvin panted.

"Huh, that's annoying," Klein commented.

"_Very_ annoying," Calvin nodded. "Any suggestions?"

Klein shrugged.

"Well, I would suggest distracting him somehow," He said. "This is one of those guys that the police won't be able to get, right?"

Calvin nodded.

"Yeah, I'd go with a distraction." Klein said.

"But what?" Calvin asked.

"I dunno, I'll give it some thought, but right now I've got to get back on stage."

"Okay, Klein, thanks," Calvin said. "I'll see what I can do."

Klein strolled past Calvin out onto the stage, again.

Calvin paced the floor, wondering to himself.

"OK, MTM," He said, taking the CD player out of his pocket. "I need some options here,"

"Sure," MTM said. "Hold on a second."

There was a pause.

Calvin stared at the MTM.

"Yes?" Calvin asked.

"OK, I got some," MTM said, finally. "One: Sit here and get killed."

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Two: Stand here and get killed." MTM continued.

Calvin glared at the MTM.

"Three: Hop around in circles while flapping your arms and get killed." MTM said.

"MTM!" Calvin screamed.

"Well don't get angry at _me _just because I couldn't think of anything." MTM said.

Calvin growled.

Just then, the back door to the trailer burst open.

Calvin whipped around.

Holographic Retro was standing behind it.

He and Calvin stared at each other for a moment.

Retro blinked.

"OK, I'm not even going to ask how you managed to survive that," He groaned.

"Yeah, these episodes can get really confusing for you can't they!" Calvin grinned.

He held the MTM up.

"MTM, defend!" He ordered.

_ZAAAP!!_

"AAAUGH!!"

Retro went soaring backwards as the MTM blasted him over.

The hardlight hologram tumbled across the ground and into a hotdog stand.

_CRASH!!_

The man running the stand rushed off at the last second, as hotdogs went flying in all directions

There was a pause.

Retro had a hotdog stuck in his mouth.

He spit it out, and leaped up to his feet.

Calvin jumped out of the trailer, and rushed off down the trail.

"STOP!!" Retro screamed, rushing after him.

"He says that like he actually expects you to do it," MTM commented.

"MTM, activate teleporter!" Calvin ordered.

"Sure," MTM said. "Where to?"

"The Ferris Wheel," Calvin said.

The MTM suddenly began glowing with a bright white light.

_**BRAZAP!**_

Calvin jumped over the top of a bench, and suddenly disappeared in a blast of light before he landed back on the ground.

Retro came to a screeching stop in front of the bench.

He looked around, frantically.

People walked by staring at him, wondering why a man with a Three Stooges haircut and a giant "H" on his forehead was standing in the middle of the path.

_**BRAZAP!!**_

There was a flash of white light, and Calvin suddenly appeared in mid-jump in front of the Ferris Wheel.

He landed on the ground, and looked around.

"Good work, MTM," He grinned.

"Uh huh," MTM said.

"Oh, hello," The man at the entrance to the Ferris Wheel said, looking up. "Did you want to get on?"

Calvin stared at the man for a long moment.

"The most unobservant town on the planet," He said, finally.

He then turned, and ran off.

The man stared after him, shrugged, and went back to work.

* * *

Sherman was still underneath the blanket, screaming at Hobbes to let him out.

"TIGER! IF YOU DON'T TAKE THIS BLANKET OFF ME, I'LL CHOMP RIGHT THROUGH THAT STUPID TAIL OF YOURS!"

Hobbes walked back into the living room, holding a tuna sandwich.

He scowled at the cage.

"Are you still yelling?" He asked, sitting down on the couch.

"LET ME OUT!!" Sherman cried, banging on the bars.

Hobbes sighed.

"Well, if it will make you shut up," He took the blanket off the cage.

Sherman glared murderously at Hobbes.

"You can't get away with this!" He shouted, angrily. "I'm going to tell Calvin!"

"Oh that's just devastating," Hobbes said, taking a bite out of the sandwich.

"I'm coming out, now!" Sherman declared, walking over to the cage door.

"That's depressing," Hobbes said.

Sherman glared at him, and walked over to the cage door.

He tried the handle.

It was locked.

"Hey!" He yelled.

"Hmm?" Hobbes asked.

"I'm locked in!" Sherman growled, tugging at the cage door.

"Yes, you are," Hobbes nodded.

Sherman glared at him.

"DID YOU LOCK ME IN?!"

"Yes, I did," Hobbes nodded.

"LET ME OUT!!" Sherman ordered, rattling the cage bars.

"Let me finish eating first, then I might unlock the door," Hobbes said.

He took a bite out of the sandwich.

He then proceeded to start chewing.

Sherman glared at him impatiently.

Hobbes kept chewing.

There was a long moment of silence.

Hobbes continued to chew.

Sherman's eyes burst open and his teeth gritted.

Then, he calmed down.

"Ya know," He began. "This reminds me of that time at the University when I..."

Hobbes reached over and unlocked the door.

"Cheater," he muttered, swallowing the tuna.

Sherman stuck his tongue out at Hobbes and hopped out of the cage.

* * *

Retro ran through the fair, glaring at the people there, trying to find Calvin.

"Where did that little pest go?" He growled to himself, as he reached a cotton candy stand.

The man standing at the stand shrugged.

Retro glared at him, and looked around.

Then, he took off down the trail, again.

"HEY, GOAL POST HEAD!" Shouted a voice.

Retro whipped around.

Calvin was standing in front of Retro, aiming the MTM at him.

_**KAZAP!!**_

"YEEEK!" Retro screamed, stumbling backwards into the wall of a restaurant.

"DIRECT HIT!" Calvin cheered.

Retro glared at Calvin as he stood up from the ground, and whipped out his knife.

"MTM, teleport!" Calvin ordered.

_**BRAZAP!!**_

There was another blast of light, and Calvin suddenly vanished.

Retro growled, and looked around.

"HEY! RETRO! OVER HERE!"

Retro whirled around.

Calvin was standing on the pathway, waving at Retro.

Retro growled, and rushed after Calvin.

Calvin spun around, and started running down the trail, also.

He rounded a corner, and disappeared.

Retro raced around the corner, and looked around, frantically.

He was back at the stage and Klein was up doing another act.

"Man am I glad summer is here, now. Winter is not one of my favorite seasons in this state," Klein said into a microphone. " The thing is, though, around here, we're a lot more relaxed about the snow than the people in other states."

Retro looked all around the immediate area, but Calvin was nowhere in sight.

He turned, and watched Klein for a minute.

"When people in the big city even get half an inch of snow, oh god. It's all over the news, roads are closed, people are panicking in the streets looting stores and whatnot." Klein continued.

The people in the crowd laughed.

Retro rolled his eyes.

"When we get seven feet of snow, we're out there sliding down the highway in our cars. The first cars that go through get to plough the pathway for the other drivers. "

More laughter.

"I was driving down the highway away from town a few months, ago, and I came to a part of the road that had been closed off. There were police cars everywhere and apparently a couple of cars had gone off the road and into the ditch. " Klein went on. "There was a policeman at the front directing people down the other road to avoid this one. The stupid thing was that he was going to each and every car _individually_, and telling it to go down the other road."

Everyone laughed, as Klein pretended to be the policeman, walking up to the cars tapping on the windows and saying, "You're going to have to go down that road. You're going to have to go down that road. You're going to have to go down that road."

Finally, he straightened up and faced the audience, again.

"You can tell right off the bat that his mind is somewhere else. The police station apparently had just called him," He held his hand up to his ear and acted like he was on the telephone. "'Uh, hi, Chuck? How fast can you get your uniform on?'"

Laughter.

"Another car goes sliding into the ditch, 'WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE DONUTS!!'"

The crowd roared with laughter.

Retro sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Has comedy really sunk this low since I've been off the planet?" He sighed.

"I dunno," Calvin said, who Retro just realized was standing beside him. "I think physical humor has improved."

Retro whipped around, as Calvin held up the MTM.

_**BLASSTT!!**_

"AAAAAAUGH!!" Retro screamed, tumbling backwards away from the crowd.

Fortunately, the crowd was laughing so hard at Klein's next joke that they didn't see Calvin and Retro, battling.

That fits, doesn't it?

* * *

Hobbes sat on the couch, eating tuna and watching _Animal Planet_.

Sherman had since disappeared, and that was just fine with Hobbes.

Suddenly, Sherman appeared in the doorway, holding a tiny piece of paper.

"Alright, cat," He said, walking up to Hobbes. "I've written up a peace treaty that extended out until the end of tomorrow."

"That's nice," Hobbes said, munching on his tuna.

Sherman glared at him.

"I'd like you sign it." He said.

"Uh huh," Hobbes said, not looking down at the hamster.

There was a pause.

"Preferably _now_." Sherman growled.

"Good for you," Hobbes said.

There was another pause.

"LOOK, WOULD YOU JUST GET DOWN HERE AND SIGN THIS SO WE CAN START ACTING CIVIL TO EACH OTHER?!" Sherman screeched.

Hobbes glared at Sherman.

"Oh come on, Vermin, I can't sign this!" He groaned.

He picked Sherman up, and put him on the table.

"Why not?" Sherman demanded.

"It's the size of a Cheese-it cracker." Hobbes replied, burying his face into his hands.

"OK, fine, I'll sign for you!" Sherman spat.

He took a pen, and began writing.

Hobbes looked over his shoulder.

"I don't write in cursive." He said, as Sherman finished up. "That's not legally bound in any court _I_ know of."

Sherman glared at him.

"Look, we have a peace treaty, lets just try and get along, now, huh?" He growled.

"Eh, do what you want." Hobbes shrugged. "I plan on just ignoring you for the rest of the night."

Sherman glared at him.

"Fine! And I'll just ignore you, you big hairball!" He shouted.

"Perfectly fine with me, fuzzball." Hobbes said, taking another bite from his sandwich.

Hobbes and Sherman turned away from each other, and crossed their arms.

* * *

Holographic Retro went soaring through the air once again, as Calvin blasted him into a cotton candy stand.

_**CRASH!!**_

Retro lay in a heap, covered in cotton candy, grumbling to himself, as Calvin came running up with the MTM.

The hologram leaped to his feet, and drew his knife out of his pocket.

He aimed it, and threw it in a last ditch effort to kill Calvin.

Calvin dully watched the knife twirling through the air towards him.

Then, at the very last second, he pushed a button on the MTM.

_SHOOM!_

A green, transparent dome suddenly appeared around Calvin, the knife bounced off, and landed in the dirt a few feet away.

There was a long moment of silence.

Calvin and Retro stared at the knife.

Retro looked up.

"You just never give up, do you?"

"I was just about to say the same thing to you," Calvin said, holding the MTM up.

Retro glared at Calvin.

"You think this is over?" He demanded.

"Yeah, actually, I do," Calvin grinned. "MTM?"

"Mmm yes?" MTM asked.

"Engage defense feature. Again." Calvin said.

"Whatever," The tip of the MTM began glowing.

Retro threw his hands up.

"Alright, you win!" He yelled, in surrender.

"Ah, very nice," Calvin grinned.

He held the MTM down.

Retro grinned.

"Wow, can't believe you fell for that!" He chuckled.

The hologram whipped another knife out of his shirt, and held it up.

"Heat seeking knife, Calvin," He grinned. "See ya!"

He threw the knife straight up into the air, and pushed the "H" on his forehead down.

The light bee absorbed Retro's hologram, and flew away through the air.

Calvin watched, silently as the small marble like ball zipped past him, and out of the park.

The knife twirled through the air for a moment, then suddenly, plunged down towards Calvin.

Without even looking up, Calvin held the MTM up.

_ZZZZZZZZZT!!_

There was a blast of electricity, and the knife suddenly dropped down onto the ground, motionless.

There was a moment of silence.

Calvin and MTM stared at the knife.

"Can't believe he thought that would work," MTM said.

Calvin nodded.

And with that, they turned, and walked off towards Klein's trailer.

He tucked the MTM safe away in his pocket, and knocked on the door.

Klein answered.

"Hey kid," He said, cooly. "You get rid of the psycho chasing you?"

"Eh, for the time being," Calvin said. "What are you doing?"

Klein put on a jacket.

"Well, I'm done for the night," He said. "I've been doing stand up comedy all day, and I need to come up with more jokes for tomorrow."

Calvin nodded.

"Well, it was great to meet you, Klein," He said. He finished under his breath, "Again..."

"You too, kid," Klein said, patting Calvin on the shoulder. "If you ever need a job in stand up comedy let me know,"

"Sure thing," Calvin grinned.

He watched Klein walk out to the parking lot, whistling to himself.

He turned to MTM.

"Well, MTM, ready to go home?"

"We only went on one ride." MTM said.

"Yeah, but one _heck_ of a ride it was!" Calvin grinned. "How many people are violently thrown from a roller coaster and manage to not even bruise his arm?"

"True," MTM considered. "Yeah, I suppose I'm ready to go back to the house. But you have to give me a new pair of manipulator arms."

"No prob," Calvin nodded. "I'll get right on that."

And with that, Calvin and MTM walked off towards home.

* * *

"Look, all I'm saying is that if we could get along, things would be a lot better for the both of us!" Sherman yelled, as Hobbes sat on the opposite side of the couch, eating tuna.

"Yeah, well, I prefer to be angry and miserable than to get along with you," He sniffed, glaring at the hamster.

The two glared daggers at each other for a moment, before Sherman finally broke.

"You know there was this time at the University..."

"OK, THAT DOES IT!" Hobbes yelled, bolting up.

He marched up to Sherman and picked him up off the couch.

"HEY PUT ME DOWN!!" Sherman ordered.

Hobbes carried the hamster over to the cage, and dropped him inside.

He prepared to throw the blanket over him, and reached for some ear phones, prepared for when Sherman started screaming to let him out.

Suddenly both he and Sherman heard the slam of a door.

They looked up.

Calvin was walking into the house, whistling to himself, and carrying the MTM at his side.

"Hey, guys," He said, casually. "Did you get along while I was gone?"

Hobbes and Sherman both shook their heads.

"I didn't think so," Calvin sighed, kicking his shoes off.

"So," Sherman asked. "How was the fair?"

"Eh, you know," MTM said. "It was a fair. It had rides, stand up comedians, freaks with bad attitudes operating the rides, and people puking up their cotton candy upon leaving the roller coasters."

Calvin nodded.

"Yeah, nothing important happened." He said.

Hobbes and Sherman rolled their eyes.

The next couple of days went off without a hitch.

Hobbes and Sherman managed to get through it without killing each other, and Calvin installed a new pair of manipulator arms into the MTM.

Andy returned from the convention a few days later, wearing a baseball cap and T-Shirt with the movie's logo on them, and holding a bag full of miscellaneous things he bought at the convention.

He thanked Calvin and Hobbes for taking care of Sherman and took him back home.

Hobbes and Sherman glared murderously at each other as Andy walked away, carrying Sherman's cage in one hand and his bag of stuff in the other.

"Well, Hobbes," Calvin said. "That went well, don't you think?"

"No," Hobbes said, bitterly.

Calvin shrugged.

"Well, I think it went well. Doesn't matter, because Andy won't be going back to that convention thing for another year."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"So we're gonna be stuck with him, again in 365 more days, huh?"

"Yep, mark the calender," Calvin said, sarcastically.

And with that, they walked inside and closed the door behind them.

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon** Calvin**  
Tom Hanks** Hobbes**  
Ryan Stiles** Socrates**  
Andrew Lawrence** Andy**  
Colin Mochrie** Sherman**  
Norman Lovett** MTM**  
Kurtwood Smith** Holographic Retro**  
Bill Murray** Dad**  
Robert Klein** Klein**  
Tom Kenny** Guy at the Ferris Wheel / Guy operating the roller coaster**  
Dee Bradley Baker** Guy at the Roller Coaster entrance

* * *

**Coming up next: **Pharaoh Andrew


	29. Pharaoh Andrew

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123_

**Pharaoh Andrew**

"IT'S AN OUTRAGE!" Calvin screamed. "HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?! IT ISN'T FAIR! _I'LL SUE!!_"

"Calvin, settle down," Hobbes said, bored already.

"MAKE ME!"

Calvin was roaring and complaining about school again.

"I have to do a giant report on Ancient Egypt, and its due in three days! What does Miss Wormwood think I am, anyway, a walking encyclopedia?! I'm a busy man! I've got several other obligations to tend to!"

"Such as?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, those inventions aren't going to upgrade themselves! Those TV shows need to be watched! The wagon needs to be crashed at least_ twice_ this week! We have various GROSS meetings to attend! Do you know how much trouble we'll be in with the officers if we miss a single meeting?!"

"I thought _we_ were the officers," Hobbes said.

"Exactly! That makes it worse! I'll have to demote _myself_! I can't _stand_ that kind of humiliation!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"You know, if you actually studied, you'd get a few things done school-wise," he said.

"ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME?!" Calvin shouted.

"Calvin, people _three blocks down _are listening to you."

"GOOD! SPREAD THE NEWS!_ LIFE IS TERRIBLE!_"

Hobbes sighed.

Calvin ranted and raved for a long time.

Finally, Socrates arrived at the window.

"Hey, Hobbo!" he said cheerfully. "What it is?"

Hobbes looked up from his comic book.

"Hey, Socrates," he sighed. "Calvin's got homework again."

"Ah," said Socrates, climbing inside. "I see he's tackling it in the same fashion as usual."

Hobbes nodded.

Calvin was still pacing room and ranting.

"Say, Calvin!" said Socrates.

Calvin whirled around and glared at him.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

"Why don't you study?"

"WHO HAS THE KIND OF TIME?!"

Socrates nodded in understanding.

"Yes, it'll be a good three hours before you're done ranting," he said, checking his watch.

"THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING!!" Calvin hollered.

And with that, the tantrums resumed.

Finally, three hours later, Calvin settled down enough to sit at his chair and get out a piece of paper and pencil.

Hobbes and Socrates were reading comic books on the bed.

Calvin just sat there, thinking.

MTM sat nearby.

"I don't suppose you're going to study, are you?" he asked.

"No," said Calvin. "There _has_ to be a way out of this!"

"Maybe you could just copy from the encyclopedia?" Socrates suggested.

"Nah… Miss Wormwood always prepares for stuff like that. She has every encyclopedia ever published on hand just in case."

"She takes the time to read all those?" Hobbes asked.

"She leads a very inactive lifestyle," Calvin replied.

There was a long pause as Calvin continued to stare at the sheet of paper. He racked his brain for a possible way out of the assignment.

* * *

The next day was Saturday, so Calvin had the entire day to think about it. He was sitting in the treehouse, hoping that an idea would come to him.

Hobbes arrived from down below.

"I don't suppose you're coming in for lunch, are you?" he asked.

"No," Calvin replied.

"Oh. Then can I have yours?"

Calvin just waved him off.

Hobbes grinned and ran back inside.

Calvin sighed and looked at the sky. Several clouds were floating by. He noticed that one of them was shaped a bit like a triangle. He watched it float by for a while.

Then he started to get an idea.

A grin crept across his face.

He quickly let down the rope ladder and climbed down. He ran back into the house.

Hobbes was eating Calvin's lunch when Calvin ran in.

"I'M A GENIUS!" he shouted as he ran past.

Hobbes watched him run up the stairs, shrugged, and then resumed eating.

Once upstairs, Calvin started placing a notepad and pencil into the hypercube.

"MTM!" he cried. "I need you to teleport me to Egypt!"

"…What?" MTM asked who had clearly been asleep.

Calvin scowled.

"Egypt! I need to be teleported to Egypt! It's for my report!"

There was a pause.

"So you're not going to study then?" MTM asked at last.

Calvin sighed.

"Why is everyone here so old-fashioned?!" he demanded. "I just want to do the report and have fun doing it!"

"Uh-huh, and explain to me how going to Egypt is going to help you write a three page report on Ancient Egypt."

"I'm going to study the inside of a pyramid!"

"And that's gonna help you, how?"

Calvin went to say something, but he fell short and couldn't think of a good excuse.

"Uhh… I just want to! That's all!"

MTM sighed electronically.

"Okay, fine, have it your way."

"Great! Let's go!"

"One little problem though."

"What's that?"

"I can't teleport that far."

There was a pause here.

Calvin stared at MTM for a while.

"…And…you didn't tell me this sooner…why?"

"You never asked."

Calvin groaned.

"Fine, we'll take the box."

"Who's we?" asked MTM.

"Just teleport Socrates, Andy and Sherman over here, will ya? They'll be essential to this."

"Why?"

Calvin paused.

"Just do it," he sighed.

There was a pause.

Suddenly, in a field of electricity, Socrates suddenly appeared. He was hunched over in a sitting position and looked like he had been writing something at the time of teleportation. He hovered in the air for awhile before he finally fell on the floor.

"Ow!" he cried. "What gives? I was in the middle of planning my next prank on Ca—"

Then he realized where he was and who was glaring at him.

"Oh, I mean, hi, Calvin!" he said, putting on an air of innocence.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. MTM, where are Andy and Sherman?"

"Half a mo," said MTM. "I wanted to get them both in one shot. Hang about. Here we go."

Another field of electricity appeared, and Andy and Sherman suddenly zapped before them.

Andy was already sitting on the floor, holding his hands as if he was holding a video game console, and Sherman was supposedly pouring formulas into beakers from the way he was positioned. He hovered in the air over Andy's head for a moment before landing on it.

"Hey!" Andy cried. "I was on the last level!"

"Now I'll never know!" Sherman whined. "What are we doing here?!"

Calvin started walking over to the closet.

"We're going to Egypt," he said. "I need to write a report on Ancient Egypt, so I thought I'd go down to one of the pyramids and decipher a bunch of hieroglyphics. Maybe they'll give me enough knowledge of life in Ancient Egypt."

Andy stared at him.

"Why don't you just study for it?" he asked.

Calvin whipped around and glared at him.

"Sorry," Andy said sarcastically. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Calvin nodded and went back to digging through the closet. Finally, he pulled out the cardboard box.

"Okay," he said. "I'll go get Hobbes."

He opened the door and yelled downstairs.

"HOBBES! FREE TUNA!" he shouted.

_**VOOM!**_

Hobbes suddenly appeared in a blur.

Calvin rolled his eyes. He was getting used to this.

"Where is it?!" Hobbes asked excitedly.

"In Egypt," said Calvin. "And that's where we're going!"

Hobbes finally realized what had happened.

"Oh great," he moaned.

He promptly tried to run away, but Calvin blocked the door. Then he tried to go out the window, but Andy blocked it. Then, Socrates snuck up behind him and managed to get him in the box.

"No! Please no!" Hobbes wailed. "I wanna live!"

Calvin and the others climbed in as well, and managed to strap Hobbes down.

"Okay, guys! Next stop, Egypt!" he cried.

Starting the box up, and armed with his inventions, Calvin flew out the window, and the box took to the sky.

Hobbes continued to moan and complain all the way into the sky.

"Do you know how long it will take to get all the way Egypt?!" he cried. "We have to cross the Atlantic Ocean! It could take a whole _day!_"

Sherman stared at him.

"Yeah…," he said. "But…if we go the other way over the_ Pacific_, it may take only an hour and a half."

Calvin nodded.

"Coordinates set," he said. "We'll be there soon."

Hobbes sighed.

"Why are we doing this again?" he asked.

"Why not?" Sherman asked. "It might be interesting. You know, seeing the insides of an actual pyramid and such. You know, when I was at the university…"

"SHUT UP!" Hobbes and Socrates yelled.

Sherman scowled at them.

Calvin spoke up.

"He's got the right idea, though," he said. "Think positive. It'll make things go quicker."

"You really think so, mister?" Andy asked sarcastically.

Calvin grumbled.

"Listen to your music," he muttered.

Andy complied by pulling out his iPod and listened to it.

The box soared ever onwards towards Egypt.

Soon they had crossed the ocean, and they were flying over land.

Calvin was putting on some extra power, and then started searching for anything that looked remotely like a pyramid.

"MTM?" he asked. "Where are we now exactly?"

"We're in a box," MTM replied.

Calvin glared at him.

"Ha, ha," he said. "What's my position?"

"You're hunched over talking to me."

"STOP IT!" Hobbes shouted. "Just tell us where we are!"

"Humph. Spoilsport," MTM snorted. "We're approaching the Pyramids of Giza even as we speak."

Calvin looked down and saw a bunch of pyramids coming into view below him.

"Excellent!" he crowed excitedly. "Bringing her down, boys! Hang on!"

And suddenly, much like a rollercoaster, Calvin dipped the nose of the box down suddenly, and they plummeted downwards.

"WHOOO!" Calvin cheered.

"BANZAI!" Socrates whooped.

"YEAH!" Andy crowed.

"MOMMY!" Hobbes wailed.

Sherman just clung on tightly to Andy's shoulder.

Finally, they reached the top of the pyramid, and they slid down it like a sled. They slid down for a full minute before they finally reached the bottom, and they hit the bottom so hard they were all flung from the box and into the sand.

_**FOOM!**_

Calvin emerged from the sand and spit it out.

"We reckanize you have a chiose whenna fly, an' we thanka for flyin' Cahlfeen Airways…," he said, clearly out of it.

Everyone climbed out of the sand, moaning.

"Thank you, Calvin, for a pleasurable ride," Hobbes griped.

"No problem," Calvin said, getting the sand out of his hair.

Everyone stood up and dusted themselves off.

"Okay," said Andy. "Now what do we do?"

"We find a way inside," Calvin replied, looking the pyramid over. "MTM, scan the structure for a way in, okay?"

MTM replied by emitting a ray of green light that enveloped the entire pyramid.

There was a pause.

Finally, the light went back inside.

"There should be a secret passageway somewhere on this side," MTM announced.

"Good," said Andy. "I was not about to go all the way around this thing."

They approached the side of the pyramid and patted the wall they were facing.

Sherman gazed at it.

"So many years of history right here in this structure," he said. "So many questions still unanswered."

"Like what?" asked Socrates, running his paws across the walls of stone.

"Like how they got here, for example! Nobody really knows how they were constructed. How could they have built these without the aid of modern technology?"

"I think those giant whips had something to do with it," said Calvin.

Socrates continued running his paws across the wall, and pushing on certain stones. Finally, he put his weight against one certain stone. Suddenly, the side of the wall started to move to the side. Socrates jumped in surprise.

"Found it!" he said cheerfully.

They all ran over to the door.

"Nice to know you're good for something," Calvin said, holding the MTM.

Socrates simply grinned.

Calvin activated the MTM's flashlight and slowly entered the pyramid.

Socrates followed closely after, followed by Andy and Sherman.

Hobbes, on the other hand, started to walk the other way. Socrates had to double back and drag him inside.

"Mother…," Hobbes whimpered.

"You'll be fine, ya big baby," Socrates mumbled.

Calvin, Andy and Sherman were staring at the walls.

"Hieroglyphics! Yes!" Calvin said triumphantly. He set the MTM down and aimed the light at them. He pulled a sheet of paper and pencil out of the hypercube, and he held it up to the wall, running the pencil across the wall, leaving the impressions the hieroglyphics made.

"Resourceful little man, isn't he?" Andy said wryly.

"Indeed," Sherman replied.

After he finished, Calvin jammed the paper back into the hypercube. Then he pulled out three more flashlights and handed them to Hobbes, Andy and Socrates.

"Here," he said. "We'll get lighter hallways this way."

They all turned their flashlights on and pointed them down the dark tunnels.

"Wow," said Socrates.

"Let's go," said Calvin, picking the MTM back up. "Let's take a look around."

They started walking deeper into the pyramid.

"Shouldn't one of us stay here and keep guard at the door?" Hobbes asked nervously, not moving.

"No. Come on," said Calvin.

Hobbes didn't move.

"MTM…?" Calvin sighed wearily.

"Right," MTM replied.

MTM activated his manipulator arms, and a pair of robotic arms picked Hobbes up and carried him.

Hobbes groaned as they went deeper into the pyramid.

"How humiliating," he muttered.

* * *

A bit further into the passageway, Calvin led the group to a room. He aimed the MTM's light inside.

"Wow!" he said. "Check out all the loot!"

They all looked inside.

Lots of treasures were displayed here.

"You're not gonna take any, are you?" Hobbes asked nervously. "They might be cursed."

"Relax," said Calvin. "I'm just gonna take notes." He pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote down what he saw.

"Wow," said Andy, looking everything over. "This is…boring."

Sherman simply rolled his eyes in response.

Andy then noticed that up ahead was another passageway. Curiosity got the better of him, and he started to walk towards it. Sherman simply sat on his shoulder, silent. Aiming his flashlight down the corridor, Andy looked around and started to search for anything interesting.

"We're not going far, are we?" Sherman asked.

"Hope not," Andy replied, looking around.

Suddenly, the floor opened up under them, and they disappeared through the floor.

"Hey!" Andy cried.

Meanwhile, Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates had not noticed Andy's departure, and they finished up what they were doing, and noticing he was gone, they continued on. They were too absorbed in looking at different rooms they didn't notice they were gone.

* * *

An hour passed, and they didn't notice Andy and Sherman had vanished.

"I've almost got my whole report done!" said Calvin triumphantly. "I just need to finish the third page. I _told_ you guys this was smarter than studying."

Hobbes and Socrates rolled their eyes.

Calvin looked around then saw another room.

"MTM, where are we in the pyramid?" Calvin asked.

"About the center," MTM replied. "We're probably near the burial tombs by now."

Calvin's eye burst open excitedly.

"Yes!" he cheered.

Before Hobbes or Socrates could stop him, Calvin shot off into the center of the pyramid. Sighing in defeat, they followed after him.

Calvin burst into the room and stared at the sight before.

"Whoa!" he gasped.

Five caskets were all lined up before him.

Hobbes and Socrates followed as Calvin ran up to them.

"What do you think is in them?" he asked excitedly.

Socrates pondered.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say…dead people?" he said.

Calvin glared at him.

"Well, if you're not going to be serious…," he grumbled.

"I _am_ serious!" Socrates insisted. "It's a casket! What else do you put in caskets, the fine china?"

Calvin snorted.

"Well, we'll just have to open them up and see," he decided.

Immediately, he yanked out a crowbar and jammed it into the door on the casket.

Hobbes' eyes popped open in shock.

"What?!" he shouted. "Don't!"

Calvin stuck his tongue out at Hobbes and started trying to pry it open.

"Would you just listen to me?! What if we let out some curse?!" he wailed.

"Yeah, or at least a bunch of man-eating bugs," said Socrates.

"Man-eating bugs?" Calvin asked.

"Well, they're clearly eating the bodies inside!"

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"I wanna know what's in them!"

"Why?!"

"Because it might help my report to document a decaying mummy!"

Hobbes groaned.

"Just let it go," Socrates sighed. "Can't MTM just scan it or something?"

Calvin looked down at MTM, who was sitting on the floor. He sighed.

"Fine, you big scaredy cats, we'll just scan it," he grumbled.

Hobbes breathed a sigh of relief.

Calvin activated the scanning feature on the MTM again.

Once again, a bright green light shot out, this time engulfing the caskets. After a moment, it went away.

"Well?" Calvin asked.

"Processing," MTM replied.

There was a pause.

"Done," he finally said.

"Well?" Calvin asked excitedly. "What's in them?!"

"Dead people."

There was a long pause.

Socrates simply grinned.

Calvin glared at him.

"Shut up," he mumbled. "We speak of this no more."

"Sure," Socrates chuckled.

"Andy, you're awfully quiet. I would've expected a wry comment or two from you."

There was a pause as Calvin awaited a response. But he never got one.

"Andy?" he asked.

They looked around. Finally, they noticed he wasn't there.

They ran out of the burial tomb, but as they ran out, they didn't notice that the caskets were now rumbling.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates looked around the pyramid.

"Andy? Sherman?!" he shouted. "Where are you?!"

"How could we not have noticed this?" Hobbes demanded.

"Well, Andy was never the talkative one," Socrates said. "Admittedly, he's gotten better this season, but…"

"ANDY?! SHERMAN?!" Calvin shouted. "Come on, we've gotta find them!"

"Why don't we just get MTM put a trace on them?" Hobbes asked.

"What that then?" MTM asked.

"Trace. It's jargon. It means 'find him'."

"No it doesn't," MTM snorted. "You just made it up to be cool."

Calvin and Socrates snickered while Hobbes glared at MTM.

"Just find them," he growled.

"Processing," said MTM.

Deciding not to waste time standing around, Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates started walking away from the tomb.

But once they were gone, the caskets inside suddenly burst open.

_**BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!**_

Five mummies, decaying and rotting and looking downright disgusting, suddenly burst out of the caskets, moaning and wailing.

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates walked through the dark tunnel, the MTM lighting the way as they went.

"You can locate him any time you'd like, MTM," Calvin growled.

"Patience," MTM said, calmly. "You really can't expect someone like me to be able to find every single person you want me to at lightning quick speeds. These things take time."

"It does not!" Hobbes groaned. "You're doing this on purpose!"

MTM sighed.

"OK, OK, let's see. Andy and that small furry thing he carries around with him are about three or four chambers from us to the left."

Calvin glared at the MTM.

"Wonderful, MTM. Now how do we get to them?" He growled.

"Oh, come now, I've tracked them down. Isn't that good enough?" MTM asked.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates' eyes all narrowed.

"Oh very well," MTM said. "Let me see here. You're going to come to a doorway to your left in fifty feet. Take it."

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates looked up.

"OK, here we go," Socrates said, pointing forward.

Calvin grinned.

"OK, then, here we come."

The boy and two tigers started walking towards the doorway.

Just then, Hobbes noticed something.

He looked over at Calvin and Socrates.

They were walking down the tunnel, staring straight ahead with bored expressions on their faces.

"Guys, hold up a second..." Hobbes started.

He stopped.

Calvin and Socrates looked up, and stopped.

Hobbes listened.

"What is it, Hobbo?" Socrates asked.

"I... I thought I heard something." Hobbes began.

"What?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes paused.

"Footsteps." He said, finally.

Calvin and Socrates stared at Hobbes for several long moments.

Hobbes turned and stared at them.

"What?" He asked.

"Hobbes, what sound do you suppose our feet produce when we walk?" Calvin asked, crossing his arms.

"Uhhh... Foot... steps...?" Hobbes began.

"Yes, Hobbes, footsteps." Calvin said. "Are you starting to sense a connection, here?"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"No, I heard _eight_ sets of footsteps." He said.

"There's only three of us." Socrates said, raising an eyebrow.

"That's my point," Hobbes groaned. "There's only three of us, and I heard _five_ extra sets!"

"OK, Hobbes, tell me, the total amount of people walking through this place is at four, right? Me, you, Socrates and Andy."

"Y-yes." Hobbes whimpered, looking over his shoulder into the darkness.

"Therefore, following the simple logic, there should only be _four_ sets of footsteps. Three, right now because Andy's missing."

"That's... my... point..." Hobbes growled.

"Second of all, how are you able to count the amount of footsteps you hear in this place?" Calvin demanded. "Is it really possible to do that?"

"Yes," Socrates said.

"Whatever. Let's just continue." Calvin rolled his eyes.

And with that, they turned, and continued.

Hobbes looked over his shoulders and followed.

Their footsteps started echoing through the tunnel again.

There was a pause, then the extra footsteps started up, again.

Hobbes stopped.

The extra footsteps stopped.

Hobbes looked around, nervously.

Calvin and Socrates continued walking, calmly down the tunnel.

_**ZOOM!!**_

Suddenly, something orange shot in between the two, and reappeared in front of them.

Calvin and Socrates jumped.

Hobbes was standing in front of them.

"Ah... if it's all the same to you, I'll lead." He said.

Calvin and Socrates glared at him.

"Whatever," Calvin growled. "Just go."

They all started walking again.

The extra footsteps started up, again.

Hobbes looked over his shoulder.

He saw Calvin and Socrates staring at him, blankly.

Hobbes stopped.

Calvin and Socrates stopped.

The heavy footsteps continued. Then stopped.

By this time, Calvin and Socrates had begun to catch on, and were looking over their shoulders back into the darkness.

There was a moment of silence.

Then, Calvin slowly held the MTM up.

"MTM," He whispered.

"Hmmm?" MTM asked, calmly.

"How many people are in this pyramid?" Calvin hissed.

"Hmmm, let me see," MTM began. "Counting you, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, that hamster and the five dead people following you down the hallway... ooooh... about ten."

There was a small pause.

"Thanks, MTM, I don't know where we'd be without you." Calvin said.

"No prob." MTM said.

There was another pause.

"RUUUUUUN!!" Calvin screamed at the top of his lungs.

_**ZOOM!! ZOOM!!**_

Calvin turned around.

Hobbes and Socrates had vanished.

Calvin grumbled to himself, and turned back to the tunnel.

Suddenly, loud moaning started ringing out throughout it.

Calvin began backing up.

Suddenly, the outline of something staggering through the darkness appeared.

It threw its neck back every now and then, making a _CRACK_ sound, its shoulders shooting up on every crack.

Calvin stared at it with moon shaped eyes.

Then, MTM spoke.

"I guess I'll get to work on downloading that novel I was reading." He said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!" Calvin screamed, whipping around, and running backwards towards the doorway.

The mummies followed him, groaning loudly.

* * *

Meanwhile, Andy and Sherman were on the other side of the pyramid, examining some hieroglyphics.

Well, Sherman was, anyway.

"Sherman do you know what part of this place we're in?" Andy asked, looking around the dark chamber with his flashlight.

"Relax, Andy," Sherman said. "We're somewhere near the burial chamber. Calvin will realize we're missing and use that CD player to find us."

"Well, I hope so," Andy said, quietly.

"Oh come on, Andy," Sherman said. "Surely you don't think Calvin would leave you down here?"

There was a pause.

"On... purpose..." He finished.

Andy groaned.

"Oh, relax, Andy." Sherman said, encouragingly. "They'll find us. Now, shine your light on that wall, there."

Andy obliged, and shown his flashlight on another part of the wall.

Sherman squinted at the hieroglyphics, while punching something into a tiny calculator-like machine.

"OK," He said, studying the machine in his paws. "Let me see here, curse... curse... another curse... insurance guarantee... ah, here we go. It says here that here lays the pharaoh's most loyal servants."

Andy turned and stared.

"Servants?" He asked.

"Yeah, something like that," Sherman said. "It says that they were so loyal to him that they were given a great big burial ceremony and put some of the pharaoh's treasures in with them as a reward to their loyalty."

"Cool." Andy said. "Who was the pharaoh?"

"Hmm, shine your light over here," Sherman said, pointing at another wall.

Andy did so.

The second the light uncovered the picture before them, both mouths dropped open.

Right there before them was a picture of the pharaoh.

And he looked exactly like Andy.

There was a moment of silence.

"So, Calvin's the Earth Potentate, Hobbes and Socrates are robots and you're a Pharaoh. All together an off day." Sherman said. "Time for a nice hot cup of anti-psychotic medication."

Andy rolled his eyes.

* * *

Meanwhile, Calvin was cowering inside one of the rooms in the chamber, panting, and looking over his shoulder.

"MTM, what are they doing up?" He growled at the CD player.

"Mummies always have a hard time getting up when they switch to daylight savings time." MTM replied.

"_**MTM!!**_" Calvin hissed, dangerously.

"Oh very well," MTM said. "I believe I may have regenerated them by mistake."

"What are you talking about?" Calvin demanded.

"My data extractor is a highly radioactive feature, Calvin," MTM sighed. "Kind of figured you'd notice that considering you built me."

"Wait a minute, you're telling me that _you_ brought these things back to life?" Calvin questioned.

"That is a trivial way to put it, yes." MTM said.

"Well, how long will the radioactivity last?" Calvin asked, looking off down the hallway.

"Oh, given the fact that the radioactivity can be held inside the pyramid's tunnels, I'd say four or five years." MTM replied.

"Fat lot of help that's going to do us," Calvin growled. "How do we get out of here?"

"I'd worry more about the dead people, because if they managed to get _out_ of the pyramid, we'd have one weird action scene." MTM said.

"Right... right..." Calvin said, looking all around. "OK, I want to know where Hobbes and Socrates are. Also, tell me how far the mummies are right now."

"Sure," MTM yawned. "Hobbes and Socrates are about two rooms down from you and the mummies are walking down that tunnel next to you right at you."

There was a pause.

"Thanks," Calvin grumbled.

"Mmm-hmmm," MTM said.

Just then, loud moaning filled the chamber, and the looming shadows of the five mummies appeared in the doorway.

"HEEEEELLLLP!!" Calvin screamed, whirling around, and bolting down another tunnel.

The mummies screeched, and staggered after him.

* * *

Andy and Sherman looked up.

"Did you hear something, Shermie?" Andy asked, nervously.

Sherman nodded.

"I heard someone screaming 'help' very loudly, followed shortly by some kind of gargling yell." He said.

There was a pause.

"Calvin," They both said in unison, nodding their heads.

"Let's go see what's wrong," Andy said. "I think I heard the scream coming from down here."

Andy and Sherman rushed off down another tunnel.

* * *

Calvin raced through the tunnel, frantically, the MTM lighting his way as he went.

"HELP!! HELP!! HELP!! HELP!! HELP!!" He screamed, repeatedly, stumbling over rocks, and entering another chamber.

"Where are the mummies?!" Calvin panted, looking back towards the tunnel.

"Right behind you," MTM said.

Calvin stared at him.

"_WHAT?_" He demanded.

"Well, don't you think it would be easy to track someone repeatedly screaming help, while crashing through a pyramid? A blind dog with a stuffed up nose would be able to find you." MTM said.

Calvin blinked.

"By the way, Hobbes and that other tiger are in here," MTM said.

Calvin looked up.

"What?" He asked. "Hobbes? Socrates? Where are you? Get out here, immediately!"

There was a moment of silence, then, Hobbes and Socrates suddenly appeared in front of Calvin.

"AAAUGH!!" Calvin shouted, stumbling backwards at their sudden appearance.

"Hello, Calvin," Hobbes said. "Did you beat the mummies, yet?"

Calvin glared at them.

"No, I have _not_ beat the mummies, yet." He growled.

"Oh. Well, in that case..."

Hobbes and Socrates both whipped around, and started running off, again.

"Oh no you don't!" Calvin growled.

He grabbed their tails just in time, and yanked them back.

"We're in this together, whether you like it or not!" He said, dangerously.

Hobbes and Socrates frantically ran in place trying to get away, their feet throwing up dust and their arms outstretched.

Just then, the loud moaning of the mummies reached their ears.

They all turned and looked around.

Two shadows were approaching them from the only exit.

They began backing into the wall.

"What do we do?!" Hobbes moaned.

Calvin looked around, frantically.

"MTM, do you think you could blast the mummies away with your defense feature?" He asked, finally.

"No," MTM said.

There was a moment of silence.

"Why?" Calvin asked.

"Unless you've forgotten, radioactivity shields anything from my electric blast. These things are invincible."

"Well that's just great, MTM, you just _had_ to use the data extractor!" Calvin growled.

MTM sighed.

"You _told_ me to use the data extractor." He said.

"Well, why didn't you tell him it would bring the mummies to life?!" Socrates moaned.

"He didn't ask." MTM said.

Everyone groaned.

The shadows entered the room, and the figures started walking inside.

"Well, this is it, guys," Calvin said. "Trapped in a tomb with a bunch of freaks wrapped up in toilet paper about to kill us. It's been a good life!"

Hobbes and Socrates exchanged glances.

There was a pause.

"If you two try to run out on me, I'll come back as a ghost and tie your tails to an electrical socket!" Calvin growled.

Hobbes and Socrates nodded.

Just then, the figure entered, and spoke.

"Calvin? Are you here?" Andy asked, looking through the chamber.

Calvin's eyes popped open.

"Andy?" He asked, staring into the darkness.

"Yes?" Andy asked.

"Oh." Calvin said. "Hi, Andy."

"Hello, Calvin," Andy said, calmly.

There was a pause.

"Thanks a bunch for telling me it was _him, _MTM." Calvin hissed.

"What? You didn't think it was good for a laugh?" MTM asked.

Hobbes and Socrates snickered as Calvin glared.

"Well," Andy said, walking up to Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates. "I'd say I've had enough of this place."

"Yeah, can we go, now, Calvin?" Sherman demanded, angrily.

"No, not yet." Calvin said.

Everyone groaned.

Calvin glared at them.

"Look, just hear me out for a second. Then you'll see that everything going on right now is all MTM's fault!"

Electricity suddenly surrounded the CD player, sending a shock up Calvin's arm.

"AAUGH!!" Calvin screamed, dropping the MTM on the floor.

"Sorry, I should have that looked into." MTM said, calmly.

Calvin rubbed his sore arm and glared at him.

He then went on to explain to Andy and Sherman about the mummies and how MTM had accidently regenerated them.

The story triggered MTM to electrocute Calvin every few seconds.

"OK, so let me get this straight," Andy began. "You've just brought a bunch of people back from the dead and now they're after you?"

"Right," Calvin said.

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, if you were violently woken up from the greatest nap you've ever had what would be your first reaction? Kill the guy who woke you up!" Calvin yelled.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

Just then, the loud moans rang out, again through the chamber, as the mummies got closer to them.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman whipped around.

The mummies were staggering inside the chamber, groaning loudly and throwing their heads across their shoulders.

They stared at them.

"I'll start brewing some coffee, then," MTM said, calmly.

"RUUUUUN!!" Calvin screamed.

There was a mad scramble, and everyone rushed off towards another tunnel.

"OOOOOOOOOHHH!" The mummies groaned, limping after them.

"There sure are a lot of empty rooms in here!" Hobbes panted, looking around.

"Yeah, it's for the grave robbers." MTM said. "Supposedly if they escaped the mummies and all the curses they had lined up in here, they'd get lost in the place and die of starvation."

"Oh, that's just wonderful," Hobbes sighed.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman squeezed themselves through a large crack in the wall, into another small empty chamber.

Without any doors.

They all looked around, frantically.

"OK, not this way, then!" Calvin said, whipping around.

They all turned back to the crack in the wall.

Too late.

"OOOOOOHH!" The mummies groaned reaching through the crack at them, grasping at nothing.

Calvin and the gang backed into the corner.

Calvin held the MTM up.

"MTM, can you transport us out of here?" He asked, calmly.

"Nope." MTM said.

"WHAT?!" Calvin growled. "Why?!"

"Low batteries," MTM replied.

"Low batteries?!" Calvin demanded. "That's always your excuse when you don't want to do something!! GATHER UP ALL THE ENERGY YOU HAVE AND _DO IT!!_"

"Oh very well, where to?" MTM asked.

"Anywhere!!" Andy groaned. "Just away from here!!"

"Gothchya." MTM.

_ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!_

Suddenly, Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman and MTM all vanished in a blast of electricity.

Then reappeared right behind the mummies.

The mummies all looked up, and stared at them.

There was a moment of silence.

Calvin glared at the MTM.

"Thanks," He growled.

"TAKE US BACK!! TAKE US BACK!!" Hobbes screamed as the mummies began advancing.

"Hmm, sorry about that. Teleportation doesn't work as well when your inside an enclosed space." MTM said.

"HEEEEELLP!!" Everyone screamed, cowering in the corner.

The mummies stepped up before the five.

Just then, they all stopped.

There was a long moment of silence.

Hobbes' eyes popped open, and he looked around the darkness.

"Are we dead?" He whimpered.

Calvin, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked up.

The mummies were all lined up before them, staring down at them, blankly.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

"Maybe they've taken pity on us for being so pathetic?" Socrates suggested.

Just then, the mummies dropped to their knees.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at them.

The mummies dropped down to their stomachs, face down, and stretched their arms outward in front of them.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman exchanged confused glances.

Then, Calvin took advantage of the situation.

"Yes, bow down before me, _FOOLS!_" He ordered, standing up, and pointed at the ground. "You're just lucky I don't throw you in the bin along with all the _other_ classic monsters! Dracula and the wolf man should look upon you with envy that I'm even allowing you in my presence!"

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman rolled their eyes.

The mummies remained motionless.

Feeling braver, Calvin continued.

"And furthermore your mothers all wore paper towels on Halloween!!" He declared, jabbing his fist to the sky.

Suddenly, one of the mummies' head came up, and he glared at Calvin.

It bared its yellow teeth at him and growled.

"AACK!" Calvin shouted, stumbling backwards.

"I don't think they're bowing at you, Calvin," MTM said.

The mummy's head returned to the ground.

"Well, they're being really stupid not to!" Calvin growled, standing back up. "I ought have them clean the pyramid for the rest of their death!"

"Who _are_ they bowing to, anyway?" Hobbes asked, staring at them. "This is starting to get a little anti-climatic."

Andy cleared his throat and rolled his eyes skyward.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates all turned and stared at him.

"Yes, Andy?" Hobbes asked.

"Well, it turns out these people happen to be here just because they were the most loyal people to the pharaoh." Andy said.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates stared at Andy.

"The pharaoh looks like him." Sherman said, pointing at Andy.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"Oh, it's one of _these_ episodes, again." He groaned.

He marched up to the mummies.

"You morons! Idiots! Fools! Can't you tell the difference between an all powerful pharaoh and an eight year old kid with a hamster for a companion?!"

"Hey!" Andy yelled.

The mummies all looked up and stared at Calvin for a long time.

Calvin stared back at them.

"Well, not that I have any problem with you thinking that. I mean, you've been asleep for a while and your probably still groggy and..."

The mummies started standing up.

Calvin began backing up.

"Hey, Andy?" Calvin asked.

"Hmmm?" Andy asked, calmly, raising his eyebrows at Calvin.

"How about setting those pharaoh powers of yours into action?" Calvin asked as the mummies all stood up, and began staggering towards them, again.

"Oh, I might," Andy said, examining his fingernails. "But what about this fun filled field trip we're attending?"

"WE'LL LEAVE!!" Calvin shouted, backing into the wall. "JUST CALL YOUR MINIONS OFF!!"

"Sure," Andy said.

He handed Sherman to Socrates, and held his hand out.

"HALT!!" He ordered.

The mummies ignored him.

"STOP!" Andy repeated.

The mummies surrounded Calvin.

"Uh... don't continue walking?" Andy suggested, rubbing his chin.

"I don't think Andy here speaks Ancient Egyptian." MTM said, calmly.

"WELL THEN TRANSLATE IT!!" Calvin screamed, again as the mummies reached for him.

"Sure." MTM said. "Try it now, Andy."

"STOP!!" Andy screamed, stepping forward, and holding his hand out. "HALT!! CEASE!! DESIST!! DISCONTINUE!!"

The mummies stopped.

Calvin's eyes popped open.

A small grin spread across Andy's face.

"Now," He said. "Step away from him! Your pharaoh commands you!"

The mummies began backing away from Calvin, glaring at him, dangerously.

Calvin jabbed a finger at the mummies.

"HA! Take that you freaks! And what's more you..."

"Don't push your luck, Calvin," Socrates whispered.

"Right," Calvin said.

The mummies turned to Andy, and bowed, respectfully.

Andy grinned at them.

"Hey, I could get used to this." He said.

"Right, right, what are you going to do about this?" Hobbes growled.

"Uhh... I dunno." Andy said, turning to the mummies. "Hey guys, start moving your heads around in circular motions!"

The mummies obeyed.

Much to Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Sherman's dismay.

As the mummies moved their heads, their necks made loud, annoying cracking noises as if someone was frantically popping the air bubbles on a piece of bubble wrap.

Calvin held his ears.

"ANDY!" He screamed.

"Yeah, OK, you can knock it off, now." Andy said.

The mummies stopped.

"Andy, you have a really weird sense of humor." Hobbes said.

Andy shrugged.

"Well, this is all fine and dandy, but we still have to do something about these things," MTM said. "The radioactively being held inside this small enclosed space will be enough to keep these things alive for more than five years!"

"Hmm, good point," Andy considered. "But then it will wear off after that won't it?"

"Sure," MTM said. "But what are we going to do with them for that long?"

Andy thought for a moment.

Then, his eyes lit up with an idea.

"I've got it!" He grinned.

He turned to the mummies.

"OK, guys, listen up, so you don't screw it up!" He said.

The mummies looked up.

"I want you to play poker with each other for five years straight. Then continue your eternal nap. I'll come get you if I need you."

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Sherman exchanged glances.

The mummies all looked at each other in confusion.

Andy reached into his pocket, and pulled out a deck of cards.

"Here, use these," He offered, handing it them.

The mummies took it, and stared it.

Then, the stared at each other, shrugged, and stood up.

They started walking off back towards the burial chamber.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Why are our enemies so incredibly easy to defeat in the end?" Socrates asked.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman all shrugged.

"Well, all I know is that I want out of this place immediately!" Andy said, turning to Calvin. "All in favor?"

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman's hands all shot to the air.

Calvin glared at them.

"You know what the problem with you guys are?" He asked. "No sense of adventure! You have about as much patience and curiosity as a sugar ant!"

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all nodded.

* * *

Outside, the box was stationed right by the pyramid, hovering in the air, and apparently immune to the sand storm raging all around.

_**BRAZAAAP!!**_

Suddenly, the air around the box contracted next to the box, and Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all appeared.

"Took you five tries, MTM," Calvin growled. "Thanks for actually for getting us here!"

"I can't wait for people to start inserting computer chips into their brains so they can do everything I can do," MTM said. "Then I can start complaining about _their_ claustrophobic tendencies."

"Whatever," Calvin grumbled, "Let's just get out of here."

Everyone climbed into the box, and Calvin started it up.

"The good news is that I've gotten all the information I need for my report!" Calvin grinned, as they all flew off away from the pyramid. "I'm sure to get an A, and everything will return to normal!"

"Until your _next_ report is given, in which you'll drag us to the Bermuda Triangle." Andy said, calmly.

"Right," Calvin said, through gritted teeth. "But for right now, my report is an A plus guarantee."

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman exchanged glances.

* * *

"D MINUS?!" Calvin screamed, angrily, staring at the paper that Miss Wormwood had handed him a few days later. "THIS KIND OF WORK DESERVES THE PULITZER PRIZE!!"

"You took up half the paper drawing mummies and pyramids." Miss Wormwood said. "Then you didn't even talk about ancient Egypt. You wrote the whole thing up reciting curses that could have been put on the treasures in the pyramids, and how a radioactive blast from something could bring a dead person back to life."

"Yeah, so?" Calvin asked.

Miss Wormwood heaved a deep sigh.

"HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF RADIOACTIVE REGENERATION?!" Calvin demanded.

"Three years until retirement..." She said to herself, rubbing her temple, and handing out the next grade.

**The End**

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon** Calvin**  
Tom Hanks** Hobbes**  
Ryan Stiles** Socrates**  
Andrew Lawrence** Andy**  
Colin Mochrie** Sherman**  
Norman Lovett** MTM**  
Tom Kenny** Mummies**  
Mary Jo Catlett** Miss Wormwood

* * *

**Coming up next: **Robot's Day Out


	30. Robot's Day Out

**Summary: **Jack takes up residence with Calvin and Hobbes during his vacation.

* * *

_And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series  
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie_

**Robot's Day Out**

It was a regular day in Yellowstone National Park.

Tourists from all over the states were driving through, watching for buffalo and other animals. People were roaming through the gift shops, examining the items around them. Forest Rangers were giving tours out to some more people to the main parts of the camp.

And today, there was an extra large group of people gathered before Old Faithful.

"Well, everyone," The tour guide said, turning to the geyser, sitting about fifty feet away from them. "Old Faithful is predicted to blow at any second, now. I'd like to thank you for your patience while we waited for it to happen."

Several people glared at him.

The guide blinked.

"Right." He said. "Well, are there any questions?"

Someone raised their hand.

"Yes," The guide said, turning to a man.

"Are the rumors true about something living _underneath_ Old Faithful?" He asked.

The guide stared at him.

"Uh, I hate to dash an exciting rumor like that, but no. There is nothing underneath this place. Especially under here. The high level of heat and carbon dioxide would kill anything living down there."

A woman raised her hand.

"Yes?" The guide asked, turning around.

"But there have been numerous sightings of a tall tin man and a guy with a freaky haircut appearing and disappearing around the geyser." She said.

The guide blinked.

"Well, there are logical explanations to that." He said. "For example, the gas around the geyser could create the shape of something moving around. It could also be an animal or... What exactly do you mean by sightings?"

The woman held up a clipboard, and began reading it.

"March 7th, 2007, 6:54PM" She read. "A tall silver man walks into the gift shop by Old Faithful, purchases a copy ofStar Wars Episode VIon DVD, leaves the store, and vanishes into thin air."

The guide scratched his chin.

"Well..."

"January 4th, 2006, 11:32AM." The woman continued. "Man with a tall red hair style appears around Old Faithful kicking a rock, angrily, demanding, and I quote, 'You stupid pile of rusty metal! Let me in before someone sees me!'."

"Uh..." The guide started.

"July 8th, 2007, 12:05PM," She continued. "Several items, including empty Pepsi bottles, screwdrivers, a box of Special K cereal, and various DVD cases from Blockbuster are seen in the geyser's water upon eruption. July 9th, 2007, 12:45PM, Several screams from an unknown source are heard complaining about Blockbuster's price for replacing movies."

The guide rolled his eyes.

"August 4th 2006," She continued. "A tall metal man appears in the..."

"Stuff like this happens all time." The tour guide interrupted, suddenly. "We occasionally have some people over by Old Faithful to do whatever it is they do when they go back there. The fog can sometimes make it look like there made of metal or they have weird hair cuts. Sometimes they may leave their tools by the geyser , and they go up with it. All of this doesn't point to anything living underneath the park."

"But there are several other sightings that have happened in the past three years," The woman said. "There has to be _something _going on."

"Most of this stuff is the work of pranksters and people without lives," The guide assured. "We've done a radar check underneath Old Faithful. There is _nothing_ there. Now, let's watch. It's going to erupt, soon."

Everyone turned to the geyser.

The guide checked his watch.

"Three... two... one..."

Suddenly, water started bubbling at the base of the geyser.

_PPSSSSSSSSSST!!_

Everyone watched in amazement as the water shot straight upward into the air.

This went on for about thirty seconds.

Then, something happened.

One of the boulders beside Old Faithful suddenly flipped over.

Everyone's attention was drawn to it.

There was a pause, and suddenly, a tall chrome man appeared from behind the boulder.

Everyone stared at him, blankly.

Jack walked over to the geyser and kicked it.

Suddenly, the water stopped shooting upward.

It all fell to the ground and halted.

"Are we getting the cable back, now?" Jack inquired, turning to the boulder.

"YES!" Came a voice from behind it. "THE MAD SCIENTIST SHOW IS BACK ON! _NOW GET BACK IN HERE BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU!!_"

Jack waved to the stunned people over by the fence, and walked back to the boulder.

He disappeared behind it, and suddenly, it flipped back over onto its side.

There was a long moment of silence.

The guide stared at the geyser with his mouth hanging open.

"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?" The woman asked, looking up from writing on her clipboard.

The guide heaved a deep sigh.

* * *

Jack T. Robot walked through Brainstorm's lab, drinking a bottle of lemonade.

Brainstorm was sitting in front of a computer monitor, watching a TV show, while using a screwdriver with his latest invention.

He glared at Jack as he walked by.

"And what do you think _you're_ doing?!" he demanded.

"Getting a refill," Jack said, shaking the bottle.

"I thought I told you to file through those reports I gave you!" Brainstorm shouted.

"I did," Jack said, pouring out some lemonade.

"It took you fifteen seconds to do it?" Brainstorm inquired.

"Yep, I threw it all away." Jack said.

"WHAT?!" Brainstorm screamed, dropping his invention. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DECIDE WHICH IDEA TO RULE THE WORLD WAS THE BEST!! _YOU DIDN'T EVEN _READ _THEM?!_"

"No, I can kind of predict that they were all incredibly idiotic and stupid," Jack said, sitting down at his chair.

Brainstorm's eyes slammed shut.

"YOU STUPID CHUNK OF STEEL!! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO COME UP WITH THOSE IDEAS?!"

Jack paused.

"Two... three minutes?" He asked.

Brainstorm's eyes narrowed.

"Not far off, am I?"

"JACK!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?! WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?!"

"You don't pay me," Jack said, looking up.

"I INVENTED YOU SO YOU COULD ASSIST ME IN TAKING OVER THE WORLD!! YOU'RE THE MOST WORTHLESS ROBOT I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!"

"Uh huh." Jack replied.

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING ME?!" Brainstorm demanded.

"No." Jack replied.

"OK, ROBOT! THAT DOES IT!!"

Brainstorm leaped to his feet.

"THINGS ARE GOING TO BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE FROM NOW ON!!"

Jack turned the page to his magazine.

"YOU'RE GOING TO START PICKING UP SOME MORE CHORES!! I WANT YOU TO SWEEP THE LAB, CLEAN OUT THE BEAKERS, CATAGORIZE ALL THE DEADLY VIRUSES AND BUY THE GROCERIES!!"

Jack looked up.

"If I recall, that's all stuff that I already _do._" He said.

Brainstorm paused.

"WELL, YOU'RE GONNA START DOING MORE!!" the scientist screeched, hysterically.

Jack heaved a sigh and leaned forward, rubbing his forehead.

"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT _I_ AM THE BOSS HERE!! I MAKE THE RULES! AND WHEN I SAY JUMP, YOU ASK ME 'HOW HIGH?'!!"

Jack stared at Brainstorm for a long moment.

Brainstorm continued.

"I SLAVE ALL DAY IN THIS STUPID LAB, AND ALL _YOU_ DO IS LIE AROUND DRINKING SODA AND WATCHING ME!!"

"No, actually, I spend most of my time trying to keep you from killing yourself." Jack said.

"EXCUSES, EXCUSES!! THAT'S ALL YOU ARE JACK!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Jack's eyes squeezed shut and his teeth gritted.

"JACK!! JACK, I'M TALKING TO YOU!! _ARE YOU LISTENING ME?!_"

Just then, Jack stood up.

Brainstorm jumped.

He had almost never seen Jack make abrupt movements like that.

Jack glared at Brainstorm, then turned and walked away.

Brainstorm stared after him.

"Uh... Jack?" He said, unsurely. "You're not evil, again, are you?"

"No," Jack said from inside his room.

"OK, that's a relief." Brainstorm sighed. "Now, where was I? Oh, right! YOU STUPID HUNK OF RUSTY METAL!! YOU WORTHLESS, ROBOTIC, SODA CONSUMING FREAK! YOU LAZY, BORED... not... helpful... thing... YOU GREAT BIG NOT HELPING... of... me that... uh..."

Suddenly, Jack reappeared in the doorway.

Brainstorm stared at him.

He was holding a couple of suitcases.

"Uh... What are you doing?" Brainstorm asked.

"I'm taking my vacation time," Jack replied, simply.

Brainstorm blinked.

"What are you talking about? You don't have vacation time!"

"Do now," Jack said, walking past Brainstorm with the suitcases.

"JACK!" Brainstorm screeched, whipping around. "JACK, I AM ORDERING YOU! _I AM ORDERING YOU!!_ GET BACK HERE, WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!! _WHO'S GOING TO HELP ME WHEN I GET STUCK IN THE AIR VENT?!_"

"Don't sweat it, Frank," Jack said, walking up to a coat rack. "I'll be back in a week. I'm pretty sure _you _can't even kill yourself in that amount of time."

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!**_" Brainstorm screeched. "AND YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT I _COULD TO!!_"

"You can't even find your back pocket in one week." Jack said, putting on a sun hat and a red checkered jacket. "I need a break from this place. More specifically, _you._"

"YOU'LL BE BACK!!" Brainstorm screamed. "I PROMISE YOU!! _YOU'LL BE BACK!!_"

Jack stared at Brainstorm for a long moment.

"Uh... yeah, I think I already said that. I'll be back in a week." He said.

"OH SO YOU'RE A SMART GUY, HUH?!" Brainstorm shrieked.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"See ya, Frank," Jack said, walking back to the elevator. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

Jack walked into the elevator and pushed the button.

"_**DOCTOR BRAIN...!!**_"

The elevator doors closed before Brainstorm could finish.

Brainstorm glared at the elevator door.

"I'm going to give him fifteen seconds," He grumbled, crossing his arms.

There was a moment of silence.

Fifteen seconds went by.

Brainstorm blinked.

"COMPUTER!!" He shouted, whirling around to the console. "OPEN VISUAL LINK! CAMERA NUMBER 9!"

Suddenly, the large monitor above the console was filled was static, then suddenly came back on, showing the inside of the elevator.

Jack was standing in the middle of it, sipping on a coke and leaning against his suitcases, staring ahead with his usual bored look.

"Look at him _squirm!_" Brainstorm hissed. "He won't even reach ground level before realizing the error of his ways!! He'll be desperately pushing the button to return _ANY SECOND, NOW!!_"

Brainstorm leaped into his chair, and fixed his gaze onto the monitor.

Jack took another sip from his coke.

Brainstorm stared at him.

Jack reached into his suitcase and pulled out the August issue of _ROBOTS WEEKLY, _and started reading.

Brainstorm blinked.

Suddenly Jack reached for the buttons.

Brainstorm's eyes burst open.

Jack put his coke down on the railing beside the buttons, and turned back to his magazine.

Brainstorm glared at the monitor.

Just then, the elevator dinged, and the doors began opening.

Jack put his magazine back, picked his soda and suitcases up, and walked out.

There was a small pause.

Brainstorm cut his eyes from side to side.

Then, he looked back up at the monitor.

Then, he stood up.

"Eh, it's only for a week," He shrugged. "That time will fly by like an insane Canadian Goose!"

Brainstorm paused, as if expecting a smart comeback for that.

Nothing came.

Brainstorm looked around the empty lab.

"Uhh... right." He said to himself.

He walked over to his desk, and continued working on his invention.

Just then, he spotted a screw on the side with had began loosening up.

He whipped around.

"JACK!! GET IN HERE AND GIVE ME MY SCREWDRIVER!! _NOW_ I SAY!!"

He stared at the empty lab.

He blinked in realization.

"Oh, right. You're gone." He said, rubbing his chin. "WELL WHO NEEDS YOU ANYWAY?! THIS WILL BE THE PERFECT TIME TO WORK ON THINGS WITHOUT YOU SCREWING IT ALL UP!! SO THERE!!"

And he whipped back around to his invention.

"Oh, and in case your currently talking behind my back, _**IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!**_" He screeched.

* * *

Jack walked into the small enclosed circular space between the ground and the elevator down to the lab.

Whistling to himself, he pushed a red button on the steel wall.

_BZZZZZT!! BZZZZZT!! BZZZZZT!! BZZZZZT!! BZZZZZT!! _

_SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!_

Suddenly, air shot out of the ceiling above him, and began lifting up.

Jack pushed another button.

The floor then started moving upward, pushing Jack onto ground level.

The first thing he saw were several shocked tourists staring at him from the fence few hundred feet away.

Jack walked out from behind the boulder, holding his suitcases.

He then turned, and kicked it.

The boulder flipped back onto its side.

"Yo," He said, waving at the tourists.

And with that, he started walking away.

"Uh, sir!" Someone called after him. "Can you confirm any beliefs about something living underneath Old Faithful?"

Jack rolled his eyes, and ignored him.

He walked into a nearby forest and disappeared.

He had one whole week all to himself.

And he was going to make the best out of it.

* * *

Calvin was just getting off the school bus. He walked up to the door and pulled it open.

"I'M HOME!"

_**WHUMP!**_

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGHH!!"

Calvin and Hobbes flew through the air and landed with a hard crash into a cold hard metal object.

They both rolled around on the ground, not noticing they were taking the metal object along with them. They punched, bit, kicked and thrashed for two minutes before they finally heard a voice come from beneath them.

"Excuse me, could you stop that? You're inflicting pain on me."

They both stopped, Calvin holding Hobbes by the neck and in mid-punch. They both dared to look down at the source of the voice.

They found a silver robot underneath them.

"Jack?!" they asked in surprise.

"Good day, gents," Jack replied calmly.

Calvin and Hobbes scrambled to get off of him.

"Sorry, Jack," said Hobbes. "I didn't see you there."

"It's quite alright," he replied, getting to his feet. "It's refreshing to be attacked by a non-Frank invention."

Jack flipped open the back of his hand, which revealed a button, which he pressed.

"What's that?" Calvin asked, dusting himself off.

"Auto-repair system," Jack explained.

Indeed, any damages that Calvin and Hobbes had inadvertently inflicted up Jack's body were immediately repaired. The dents on his head smoothed out. The screws on his head reassembled themselves. The lose wires in Jack's body reconnected and disappeared back into his body.

Calvin and Hobbes watched this for a while.

"Anyway, what are you doing here?" Hobbes asked.

Jack picked up the suitcase he had dropped.

Calvin stared at it.

"Did you finally move out?" he asked.

"Nah," Jack replied. "I don't have enough suitcases to do that. I'm just on vacation for a week."

"Oh, are you?" asked Hobbes. "When did they start letting robots stay at Motel Sixes?"

Jack shook his head.

"No, I haven't found a place to stay yet."

"Oh," said Calvin. "Well, there's a bus terminal in the city. You could probably stay there."

Jack paused.

"Actually, I was sort of thinking I could stay here," he said.

Calvin and Hobbes looked confused for a few seconds before they noticed he was leaning slightly in the direction of their house.

Calvin's eyes grew wide.

"WHAT?!" he shouted.

"Well, I figured, since we're pals and everything, maybe I could just—"

"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! NEGATIVE! NO TRESPASSING!" Calvin shouted.

Hobbes quickly clamped a paw of Calvin's mouth.

"I think what Calvin's _trying_ to say is…and I'm quoting every barkeeper in Cleveland here…you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here," he said.

Jack paused again.

"Guys, I don't have anywhere else to go," he said. "Besides, it's only for one week. I just need a break from the chaos."

Calvin finally got Hobbes' paw off of his face.

"There'll _be_ chaos if Mom and Dad find out that I'm hiding a runaway robot in the house!" he said angrily.

Hobbes quickly pulled Calvin aside.

"Excuse us," he said to Jack before turning themselves around.

Jack leaned against the mailbox and waited.

Calvin and Hobbes spoke in hushed voices.

"Look, Calvin, he clearly just wants to get away from Dr Brainstorm!" Hobbes hissed. "Even those with the best patience need a break every once in a while."

"Hobbes, we can't keep Jack here! Mom and Dad would _freak!_ How am I going to explain when all the beverages in our house disappear?!"

"Look, we'll think of something! Let's try it for one day and see what happens!"

Calvin glanced over his shoulder and looked at Jack.

Jack was watching a bird fly by.

Calvin sighed and rejoined Hobbes.

"Okay," he relented. "Let's try it once, and if it doesn't work, we throw him out on his soup can butt."

Hobbes nodded.

They both whipped around and looked Jack.

Jack looked down at them and waited.

"Okay, Jack," Calvin said firmly. "You have 24 hours to prove you can be a formidable guest, and that's that!"

"Y-okay," Jack said, giving them a thumbs-up.

Calvin paused.

"Now then… we need to find a way to sneak you inside," he said, rubbing his chin. "I don't have my hypercube with me."

Hobbes paused.

"We could always use your backpack," he said. "It should work in the same way as that duffel bag of yours."

Calvin glanced at the backpack.

"No, I've tried. Believe me, I've tried," he said.

Then Calvin had an idea. He pulled a hammer out of his backpack.

"Jack, hold still," he said, advancing on him.

Jack stared at the hammer.

"I don't like where this is going," he said unsurely, backing away.

* * *

Mom was sitting on the couch sipping tea and reading a magazine.

_**CLANG! WHAM! CRASH! SMASH! RIP! BANG! CLANK! BAM! RAM! SLAM!**_

She was oblivious to the noise outside.

There was a pause.

Then, Calvin appeared in the doorway with Hobbes draped over his shoulder and a rather overstuffed backpack on his back.

"Hi, Mom. I'm home," he said

"How was school, dear?" she asked.

"Informative. We're going up to my room."

"Okay."

Calvin and Hobbes scurried up the stairs and into the bedroom.

Once Hobbes had secured the door, Calvin opened the backpack and held it upside down.

After all the books had tumbled out, a gigantic pile of metal came falling out and crashed on the floor.

Calvin had broken Jack into several pieces.

Finally, Jack's head landed on the pile.

"There we go," Calvin grinned.

"That's _one_ experience I'd rather not go through again," Jack sighed. "Care to fix me now?"

"Sure."

Calvin fished through the pile of metal until he located Jack's right hand.

"Here we go," he said.

He opened up the back of the hand and pressed the button.

Jack's auto-repair system kicked in, and in a flurry of metal and wires, Jack was reassembled.

"Huh, I didn't think that would actually work," Hobbes said.

"This was an interesting experience," Jack sighed. "Let's not do it again."

He set his suitcase down on the bed, and then sat down on it.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.

"Jack, what are you doing?" Calvin asked.

"Setting up camp," he said.

"Jack, that's our bed," said Hobbes.

"And…?"

"Jack, we are _not_ a hotel!" Calvin said sternly. "We can get you a cot set up in the attic or something, but you can not stay on my bed!"

"But I'm on vacation!"

"And you're in our house!" Calvin retorted. "We can send you right back to Brainstorm, if you want. We could pause time and take you right back to him."

Jack rose up a hand, defeated.

"Fine," he said, annoyed. "I'll look around your attic for something to sleep on."

"Good," said Calvin. "Hobbes, show him the way."

"Right," Hobbes sighed. "Come on, Jack."

Hobbes led the robot out of the room, and left Calvin by himself. He muttered something as he smoothed out the bed sheets.

"Stupid robots putting their metal butts on my bed…," he muttered. "Oh great, now they smell like grease and oil!"

Hobbes climbed up into the attic and looked around.

"Alright, here we are," he said, turning on the light.

Jack stuck his head up the hatch and looked around.

"Huh," he said. "You don't clean much, do you?"

"No," said Hobbes. "We don't really use the attic to entertain."

Hobbes went further into the attic as Jack hauled his suitcase up into the room. He located a small cot in the corner. He promptly pulled out and set it up near the boarded up window.

"Okay," he said, finishing it up. "You can sleep here."

Jack stared at it.

"_My_ bed was better than this," he said. "And I worked off of Frank's salary, so that's saying something."

Hobbes glared at him.

"Take it or leave it," he said. "It's either this, or the treehouse, and there are birds living there."

And with that, he left.

Jack stared at the bed before sitting down.

"Okay…," he said. "I wonder if this place has a pool."

* * *

Back at the lab, Dr Brainstorm was at work on another invention. He was tinkering away at something that would probably go wrong anyway, but that didn't stop him.

As he worked, he found he needed a screwdriver. He looked up and started a search for one. He started to shove things around until he found the screwdriver he needed.

After he finished screwing that screw in tightly, he then picked up a small container.

"Please be right…," he whispered.

He slowly applied a liquid to the invention.

Once that was done, he put the container back, and then started looking for his welder and the mask that went with it.

"Okay, let's try this…," he said.

Brainstorm put the mask on and turned on the welder.

Unfortunately, Brainstorm had forgotten one important thing.

_**KABLAM!**_

Always put labels on your containers.

Brainstorm was blown over onto his back. He lifted the mask off and stared in shock at what had happened. The invention was now ablaze, and it was raining little bits of metal.

Brainstorm suddenly perked up.

"_Oh…!_" he said, realizing. "So _that's_ where I put the nitroglycerin!"

Then he began to panic.

"FIREMAN! HELP! I NEED AN ADULT!"

He ran around the room panicking and looking for something to put it out.

"Oh, Jack would know how to treat this!" he groaned. "And he's the one who labels the containers! HELP! GET ME THE HOW-TO-PUT-A-FIRE-OUT PAGE FROM WIKIPEDIA!" And he tore out of the room, the fire growing larger.

* * *

Jack was in Calvin's room, leaning against the dresser.

Calvin was hard at work on the Time Machine.

As he worked with a magic marker, he looked up and saw Jack staring down at him.

"Jack…?" he asked. "What are you doing?"

"Waiting," Jack replied.

"Ah, I see."

Calvin resumed working.

There was a fifteen second pause as he continued with Jack staring at him.

Finally, he looked up again.

"Okay, I'll bite. Waiting for…?"

"For the invention to blow up."

Calvin paused.

"Jack, the box doesn't blow up. The most that happens is that I misspell the command button, and the best way to solve that is through whiteout," he said, showing him the marker and whiteout.

"Oh, well, I'll stay just in case," Jack said.

Calvin shrugged.

"Have it your way," he said. He resumed his work.

There was a pause.

Hobbes came in.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Waiting for Calvin to nearly be killed and for me to methodically save him at the last minute," Jack replied.

Hobbes sighed.

"Jack, there's a slight problem with that," he said.

"What's that?"

"Calvin's inventions actually _work._"

Jack glanced at Calvin.

"Ah," he said. "Good point."

"Come on," said Hobbes. "I've got some dominos. We could play a game."

Jack sighed.

"Yeah, okay," he said, following Hobbes out of the room.

Downstairs, Hobbes and Jack were playing a dominos game.

"Okay, I'm knocking," said Hobbes. He knocked on the table.

Jack put down a domino.

Hobbes knocked again.

Jack put down another domino.

This repeated four times, getting quicker each time.

Hobbes stared at the dominos sitting before him.

"Man!" he cried. "That's five out of six games you've won! It's like you know what I've got!"

"Yep," Jack replied.

There was a pause.

Hobbes stared at Jack.

"Wha… You mean you do?" he asked.

"Yes. You see, it's all a matter of patterns."

"But the dominos are all face down."

"I know. You see, I'm able to see the patterns that fingerprints make on the backsides of the dominos. By memorizing them all, I can remember each domino and know what to do during the game."

There was a pause as Hobbes stared at him disbelievingly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Jack. "Is there supposed to be some sort of challenge?"

"Yes!" Hobbes cried. "It's supposed to be a battle of wits!"

"Ah, I see. Should I close my eyes? Would that help?"

Hobbes glared at him, but before he could continue, he heard footsteps.

"Uh-oh," he said, looking out the door. "We need to hide you!"

Hobbes ran frantically around the room, looking for a possibly hiding place.

Jack just sat there, watching him and looking bored.

Finally, Hobbes found an empty cabinet under the sink. Quickly, he grabbed Jack and hurled him inside it.

"Ouch," Jack mumbled.

"Shh!" Hobbes hissed.

Hobbes leaned against the door and waited.

Mom entered the room, reading a book and not noticing him. She walked past him and to the counter, where she picked up a cup. She filled it with water from the sink, took a brief sip, and then left the kitchen.

Hobbes breathed a sigh of relief and yanked the cabinet door open, allowing Jack to tumble out.

"That was close," Hobbes sighed.

"No,_ that_ was close," said Jack, getting up.

Hobbes shrugged and led him out of the room.

"Come on, you need to go back into the attic. It isn't safe out here."

"But I wanted to get something to drink!" Jack objected.

Hobbes simply pulled him onwards.

* * *

That night, Jack was sitting down on his bed, getting under the covers.

"Hmmm…," he said. "I'm thirsty."

Jack got up and walked down the hatch in the attic to the hallway. He walked past Calvin's room, the bathroom and that hall closet, and down the stairs to the living room, and then into the kitchen.

Once he got there, he opened the fridge and found a jug of lemonade. He took it out and walked back upstairs into the attic. He gulped the orange juice down.

* * *

The next morning, Mom went downstairs for breakfast.

As she prepared her morning routine, she went to the fridge. She stared in shock.

Every beverage in the fridge was gone, the milk, the orange juice, the apple juice, everything.

She scowled angrily.

"CALVIN!!" she shouted.

There was no response.

"CALVIN, GET DOWN HERE!"

Still no response came.

Mom angrily stormed upstairs and ripped Calvin's door open.

_**WHAM!**_

"WAKE UP!" she shrieked.

Calvin shot up in the air and landed back in the bed with a _**WHUMP!**_

"What…?" he asked groggily.

"YOU DRANK ALL OUR DRINKS LAST NIGHT!" Mom shouted.

Calvin stared at her.

"…_Huh?_" he asked.

"I'm surprised you didn't wet the bed, you drank so much!" she continued.

Calvin finally remembered who he had let in the house yesterday, and then clenched his eyes shut tight.

"Right, Mom, I'm sorry," he groaned. "I must have been sleepwalking."

Mom glared at him.

"You are _so _grounded," she growled. "Now get dressed and get ready for school."

With that, she slammed the door shut.

Calvin groaned again and got out of bed, and then he climbed into the bottom drawer of his dresser.

"Huh," said Hobbes. "I wonder how _that _happened."

Calvin glared at him and shut the drawer he was in. Each drawer going up opened slightly, and then he emerged at the top, fully dressed.

"Hobbes, I have to go to school now, so _you_ are in charge of the robot," he ordered.

"Mm-hmmm…," Hobbes murmured, drifting off to sleep again.

Calvin jumped up on the bed and slapped Hobbes awake again.

"Ow!" Hobbes cried.

"Wake up, ya weasel!" Calvin said angrily. "Jack is living in our house, and that means he's our responsibility! That includes you! Now get the heck up!"

Hobbes groaned and slunk out of bed.

Calvin watched him as he put his jacket on.

"I swear, you tigers are half liquid," he said, picking up his backpack and leaving.

"Shaddup," Hobbes retorted, facedown in the carpet.

Calvin left.

Hobbes got up on all fours and cricked his neck, and stretched in that weird way that cats stretch. Then he got up and on his feet and left.

* * *

Back at the lab, Brainstorm had just woken up and was walking into the main part of the lab for breakfast.

The fire from yesterday was still blazing.

He glared at it.

"Are you still here?" he groaned.

Ignoring it, he poured himself a bowl of Cheerios. Then he added the milk. Then he glanced at the fire, then at the milk, and then threw the milk on the fire, partially putting it out.

Then he started eating his cereal in silence.

After about a minute, he glanced at the calendar.

"Only about six days to go," he sighed.

* * *

Hobbes walked into the living room to watch his show about Jungle Cats.

When he got to the purple chair that sat before the antique TV, he found Jack sitting there. He groaned inwardly.

"Jack…?" he asked.

"Yo," Jack replied, sipping some pop from the can.

"My show is going to be on in about two minutes."

"That's nice."

There was a pause.

Hobbes mentally fought for a response.

"I'd, er, like to watch it."

"Good for you."

"…Um, we only have one TV, and it's _that_ TV."

"I noticed."

"Uh-huh, and I'd like to sit before it and watch my program."

"Ah, a most awkward situation this is, eh, Hobbo?" Jack chuckled.

Hobbes chuckled unsurely.

"Uh, yeah, heh, heh," he said.

There was a pause.

Jack didn't move from the chair.

Hobbes finally sighed.

"Can I watch my show now?"

"No."

"Jack, why not?"

"I'm on vacation."

"YOU'RE IN MY CHAIR!" Hobbes yelled angrily.

"Indeed."

Hobbes growled angrily, trying hard to keep his claws from extending.

"Jack, you're coming dangerously close to crossing the line!" he said.

"You've got a very cheap TV," Jack noted. "It's got rabbit ears! You know, Frank may have been dumb, but he wasn't cheap! He went all out and got a gigantic big screen with surround sound and four recliners!"

"WELL, GUESS WHAT!!" Hobbes shouted. "YOU'RE NOT WITH _FRANK!!_ YOU'RE WITH _US!!_ AND I'M AFRAID THAT THERE ARE A FEW RULES IN THIS HOUSE!! RULE ONE: _**GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!!**_"

Jack stared dully at Hobbes.

"Get me some more pop, will ya?" he asked, waving the empty can at Hobbes.

Frustrated, Hobbes picked Jack up and hurled him out of the chair.

_CRASH!_

He landed in a heap in the corner.

Hobbes climbed into the chair and changed the channel.

Jack lay there and sighed, clearly annoyed.

"Fine, I'll go back to the attic," he said.

Hobbes simply grumbled as Jack left.

"Stupid, freeloading robots and their stupid TV shows…," he muttered.

* * *

Brainstorm, now beaten and slightly singed by the flames, cowered in the corner of the lab, talking into a tape recorder.

"Dear Diary, I am trapped in the lab, the outlook is incredibly bleak, I've used up all the milk on the fire, the oily rags and typing paper have caught flames, the vat of nitroglycerin has gone alight, the matchstick cupboard is burning, and the firewood is slowly turning into ashes. I'm almost certain I shall die within the next few hours. If I don't live, I want Jack to know_…HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, YOU ROBOTIC HOTSHAVE DISPENSER?! I'LL SEE TO IT YOU ROT IN A BURNING LAB FOR THIS! JOKE'S ON YOU!! __**ALL YOUR STUFF IS HERE!! **__…_Oh, and I want to be cremated, by the way… _IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE ANYMORE! _I have to go. The recorder is beginning to melt."

He tucked the recorder away in his lab coat, and he started to sing.

"_Jesus, take the wheel…!_" he sang.

* * *

Jack sat in the attic, waiting for something to happen.

Then he saw the school bus drive up.

The door slid open, Calvin came out, and then the bus drove away.

Calvin started walking towards the house, and he opened the door.

"**I'M HOME!!**" he shouted.

_**WHAM!**_

Hobbes pounced Calvin, and they went hurtling down the walk, rolling around and fighting like they always did.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Savages…," he muttered.

After a few minutes, Calvin and Hobbes finally stopped fighting and started laughing, and then started walking back into the house.

After awhile, Calvin came up into the attic.

"Hey, Jack," he said. "How was your day?"

Jack sighed.

"Well, this vacation hasn't been going very well," he said. "I can't be seen by your parents, so I've been repeatedly stuffed into tight compartments so as not to be seen. I've been thrown out of chairs. I've watched shows on a TV that fits on top of a small box. I've been forced to sleep on a bed that's more pathetic than my own! I've had no one to insult and be sarcastic to because none of you are as stupid as Frank."

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"I see," he said, sitting down beside Jack on the bed. "How about you…go back to Frank?"

"I can't! My vacation isn't over."

"Jack, this isn't a vacation," Calvin said. "This is just a distraction! You need to go home if you're not enjoying yourself. Do you know how much I'd love to just leave Dad during our camping trips? I can't! But _you_ can! You can escape!"

Jack paused to think for a moment.

* * *

Brainstorm was now crossing his fingers and hiding under a chair.

"OH, WHY CAN'T I EVER GET A BREAK?!" he shouted.

_**CRASH!**_

He looked up and saw that something had come in through the jammed doors.

Carefully, he ran over to it and picked the object up.

"What's this…?" he wondered.

Then he realized.

"Jack's hand?" he asked.

He flipped the back of it over.

There was a button on it.

Suddenly, there was a crash on the other end of the door.

_**WHAM!**_

Brainstorm looked up in surprise at the sudden indentation on the door.

"Huh?" he said.

Finally, the door gave way, and Jack flew through the now busted-down door, and he instantly reconnected with the hand Brainstorm was holding. Calvin and Hobbes were standing in the doorway, with Hobbes holding Jack's suitcase.

Dr Brainstorm stared them.

"JACK!" he cried. "YOU DECIDED TO COME BACK?!"

"No," said Jack. "I planned on staying with them, but when I told them, they finally cracked, shoved me in their box and took me here."

Calvin and Hobbes stared at the lab.

"Wow," said Calvin.

"Yeah, it's barely been forty-eight hours," Hobbes added.

"I DON'T KNOW WHICH CONTAINER WILL PUT IT OUT!" Brainstorm wailed.

"Why didn't you label them?" Calvin asked.

"I WAS PLANNING TO, BUT I FORGOT WHICH ONES WERE WHICH! SAVE ME!"

Jack sighed.

"Alright, I'll put the fires out, Frank," he said.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM…**_says thank you," Brainstorm replied.

Jack nodded. He walked over to the containers.

Calvin and Hobbes watched.

"How will you find it?" Calvin asked. "None of them have any distinguishing marks!"

"Not so," said Jack.

Jack scanned the containers that were near the fire.

They all waited patiently.

Finally, Jack seemed to locate a certain container, and then he opened it and poured it on the invention that had started the fire.

Slowly but surely, it spread all around the lab, and soon the fires were dieing down.

Calvin, Hobbes and Dr Brainstorm stared in surprise.

"Huh?" Calvin asked, surprised.

"How did you know?!" Hobbes asked.

"It's the same thing as the dominos," Jack explained. "By memorizing each fingerprint pattern on each container, I'm able to distinguish them all, from nitroglycerine to simple water."

"Is that what _that _was?" asked Calvin.

Jack nodded.

Brainstorm sighed.

"Well, thank you, Jack. I guess we'll have to fix this mess," he said.

"Yup."

"That could take a while," said Calvin, examining the damage the place had been given.

"Eh, all things take the course," said Jack.

Jack pressed a button on the nearby control panel.

_**BEEP!**_

Suddenly, the lab started to vibrate. The burnt spots disappeared. The TV redrew its glass. All the lose wires snaked back into place. The light bulbs grew back. The rugs were stitched. The melted buttons on the control panel smoothed out.

In about thirty seconds, the lab had grown back to normal.

"How did…?" Hobbes asked.

"Nanotechnology," said Jack. "It's one of the few things that Frank here has figured out correctly."

"_**DR BRAINSTORM!**_"

"Tiny little robots that can rearrange the molecular structure of one object and make it into something else. We use it as an auto-repair system."

"Wow," said Calvin, looking around the lab.

There was a pause.

Finally, Hobbes stretched.

"Well, guess we oughta be going now," he said.

"Yeah, see ya around, Jack," Calvin said. "See ya later, Frank."

Brainstorm went to yell, but he simply groaned in response.

"Whatever," he said, collapsing into the comfy chair.

Calvin and Hobbes waved and ran out of the lab.

There was a pause.

Jack glanced at Brainstorm.

"So…," he said.

"Yeah."

"Yesterday?"

"No biggie."

"TV?"

"Soda?"

"Solid."

"Cool."

They both sat down on the comfy chairs and pulled out two cans of soda. Jack pulled out the remote and turned the giant TV on. The screen was all staticy.

"Uh-oh," said Jack. "The geyser's going off again. Hold on." He pulled out a phone and hit speed-dial.

Up above, a tour guide was showing the grounds above the lab, and showing the crowd Old Faithful.

Suddenly, the boulder flipped over.

Everyone stared at it in shock.

Just then, Calvin emerged from it with a stuffed tiger draped over his shoulder, and then the boulder dropped.

"Hi," he said to the staring crowd.

Just then, there was a noise from his pocket.

_**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**_

Quickly, Calvin reached into his pocket and pulled out the MTM. He opened the top where the CD would go.

"Talk to me," he said.

There was a pause.

Everyone continued to stare at him.

"Hold on," he said.

Calvin walked past the gaping crowd and over to Old Faithful. He promptly kicked it, and the water stopped shooting up.

"How's that?" he said into the MTM.

There was a pause.

"No problem. See ya."

Calvin flipped the CD player shut and shoved it back into his pocket. He nodded to the crowd and walked away.

There was a long pause.

The guide stared.

A woman with a clipboard walked up.

"Excuse me," she said, writing on it. "What time is it?"

The guide slammed his eyes shut.

**The End**

**Voice Work:**

**Pamela Segall Adlon **Calvin**  
Tom Hanks **Hobbes / Man in Crowd**  
Neil Crone **Dr Brainstorm / Yellowstone Guide**  
Michael Brandon **Jack**  
Jennifer Love Hewitt **Mom / Woman with Clipboard

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Thunderstorm


	31. Thunderstorm P1

**Summary: **After he is accidentally freed from his prison, Dr Brainstorm's insane rival, Dr Thunderstorm, attacks the Earth.

* * *

_And now the Calvin and Hobbes: The Series Season 3 TV movie finale!  
Part one written by Swing123_

**Thunderstorm**

The episode begins with a shot of the Earth, rotating slowly.

It lingers for a moment, then the camera pans around the planet, passing up several meteors, satellites, and space junk that's orbiting it.

Finally, the camera stops on a bright red multi-floored space station. Rotating slowly along with the Earth, it has several small satellite dishes covering the top of it.

The camera zooms in on it, through one of the windows, and into the main control room.

Inside there was a tall man and a robot.

The man had sharp features with grass green eyes. His hair was dyed bright red and sticking straight upward into the air as if he had just stuck his finger into an electric socket. He was wearing a jet black shirt with a white unbuttoned lab coat over it. He had bright green gloves on his hands, and he wore black pants along with brown sneakers. He had a determined expression on his face as he typed into a keyboard, studying a monitor.

The robot was about as tall as the man. He was made from a shiny chrome metal and was reflecting the items in the room. He had a spherical head that was bolted up on the top. He had a long pointed nose, and a bored expression on his face. He had a long slim body. His arms were basically just like human's arms, each hand bearing four fingers and a thumb. His legs were segmented all the way down in order to enable him to extend them outward and take long strides at once. His feet were two rounded metal blocks, resembling shoes. He was sitting in a blue lounge chair, sipping on lemonade.

"HA HA!!" The man, which you've probably guessed to be Dr Brainstorm by now, screamed, whirling around. "Everything in place, Jack! Everything positioned! At long last! After all these years, I have finally built The Doom Satellite!!"

He threw his hands into the air and laughed, maniacally.

Jack heaved a sigh.

"You've had this thing built for over five years." He said. "You've spent the rest of this time trying to fix everything that was wrong with it."

"Well, who cares _how_ I made it?!" Brainstorm demanded. "It's made! That's the important thing! _AND NO ONE ASKED YOUR OPINION, ANYWAY!!_"

And with that, Brainstorm whipped around, and began typing into a computer keyboard.

_BZZZZZZT!!_

"AAAUGH!!"

Brainstorm shielded his face as sparks of electricity flew from it.

Jack observed, quietly.

"I'd say it still needs another decade of work." he said, finally.

Brainstorm glared murderously at him.

"Nothing's perfect, Jack!" He growled. "And it doesn't matter. It's taken me long enough, and now I can set my Super Plan into motion!"

"Super plan," Jack repeated, raising an eye brow.

"Right, my Super plan!" Brainstorm spat. "Those other plans of mine were just supporting plans! Moving to Yellowstone, kidnaping the robotic transmitter and those other two people, teaming up with the aliens, stealing the Electronic Frisbee! They were all sub-pans! All eventually leading up to the greatest plan of them all! No one will know what I'm doing until it's too late!"

Jack stared at him.

"If I recall, everything you just mentioned were plans that you made up as you went." He said, finally.

"Oh, details," Brainstorm waved Jack off. "That's all water under the bridge, anyway! And now not even that spike haired freak and his robotic tigers can defeat me!!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

Brainstorm whipped back around to his keyboard.

"Now, dishes in position!" He grinned, evilly, pushing a button.

Outside, the dishes all turned, and pointed in different directions.

"Cutting off signal!" Brainstorm cackled, hitting another button.

Outside, several NASA satellites suddenly shut down.

"Right, like people aren't going to notice this." Jack sighed, picking up a National Geographic magazine.

Brainstorm ignored him, and continued.

"Repositioning satellites and...NOW COMMENCING SUPER PLAN!!" The mad scientist slamming his fist into another button.

_ZZZZZZZZZZT!!_

Brainstorm and Jack looked up.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman had suddenly appeared in front of the space station in the cardboard box, glaring at Brainstorm.

The cardboard box had an air tight glass dome around the top.

Brainstorm stared at them.

Then he whipped around to Jack.

"How'd _they_ get here?!" He demanded.

Jack took another sip from his lemonade and shrugged.

Brainstorm whipped around.

"How'd _you_ get here?!" He demanded at them.

They stared at him.

"They can't hear you Frank," Jack sighed. "There are two layers of a glass and the vacuum of space in between you and them."

"Oh quit being a show offy jerk, Jack!" Brainstorm spat. "_**AND IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!**_ LOWER COMMUNICATION BARRIER!!"

The scientist grabbed a microphone, and began screaming into it.

"HOW DID YOU FIND ME, PUNK?! _I DEMAND TO KNOW!!_"

"You shut down the satellite that gives me DirectTV." Socrates said.

There was a pause.

Brainstorm blinked.

"YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO NOTICE THAT!" He screeched, hysterically.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Look, we're missing Doctor Who!" Andy shouted. "Would you _please_ turn the cable back on?"

Brainstorm glared at them.

"NEVER!!" He screeched. "My Super Plan _must_ commence! I won't let you stop me!! _YOU _CAN'T_ STOP ME!!_"

There was a short pause.

Calvin held the MTM up.

"MTM, turn the satellite back on." He sighed.

"Sure," MTM yawned in his British voice.

A red light shot out of the MTM, and entered the Time Machine.

The box turned, and pointed to one of the satellites.

The red light shot out of the box, and hit the satellite.

Suddenly, the solar panels began rotating, again, and it came back to life.

"Hey!" Brainstorm screamed. "DON'T DO THAT!!"

"There we go," Calvin grinned, turning back to Brainstorm. "I suppose we can be going, now."

"NO!!" Brainstorm screamed, dangerously, slamming his hands onto the console before him. "_I'm not letting you stop me, this time!_"

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman and Jack looked up at Brainstorm in shock.

They had never heard him be this serious.

"That almost sounded... mildly threatening." Hobbes said.

"Yeah, he has occasional bursts of that." Jack nodded.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"RAISE COMMUNICATIONS BARRIER!" He shouted at the machine.

The link between the station and box shut down, and Brainstorm whipped around to the keyboard.

He typed several things into it, and turned a menacing grin onto the box, outside.

"Take this!" He shouted, slamming his fist into a big red button.

Suddenly all the systems in the Time Machine shut down, leaving Calvin and the gang trapped.

"HEY!" Calvin shouted.

"Increase gravity field!" Brainstorm ordered. "Cut off satellite signal!"

The satellite went dead, again.

But that's not all that happened.

Suddenly, the box started shaking, violently, throwing Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman tumbling wildly inside.

"Whoa!" Calvin yelled. "I don't have control!"

Suddenly, the box went tumbling backwards, making a wild orbit around the station.

Brainstorm turned a grin onto Jack.

"What do you say about _that?!_" He growled.

"How long did you spend taking glitches out of _that_ feature?" Jack questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Brainstorm glared at him, and turned back to the console.

"Now cutting off all communications on planet Earth!" He cackled, pushing some buttons. "Earth will be thrown in full fledged panic in minutes!"

"Yeah, real original plan." Jack said, holding his magazine up.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside, the box was being flung all around the space station, occasionally slamming into it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!" Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman screamed, covering their heads.

Calvin, meanwhile was trying to remain calm as he attempted to rewire the Time Machine.

He took two ripped wires, and jammed them together.

_**BZZZT!**_

Suddenly, the box froze, and straightened up.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all fell back to the box's floor, and lay in a heap.

Calvin turned to them.

"Alright, we have temporary stability." He said.

There was a pause.

"Thanks," Sherman grumbled.

"Sure thing," Calvin said. "MTM, what's going on Earth? What's Brainstorm doing?"

"Hold on a second," MTM said.

The CD player began humming, loudly, as he scanned the Earth.

"Oh boy..." He sighed.

"What?" Hobbes asked.

"He's cutting off Earth's electrical sources," MTM said. "Transportation, communication, TV, radio, it's all being shut down!"

"What's he doing that, for?" Socrates asked.

"Well, if I'm not mistaken, he's aiming on taking control of the Earth's entire electrical supply," MTM said. "Throwing the Earth into total panic so he can rule them."

There was a moment of silence.

"Hasn't he already tried this?" Calvin asked.

Socrates shrugged.

"Well, you know Brainstorm." He said. "When in doubt, reuse ideas!"

"How do we stop him?" Andy asked. "He's never gone as far to build an entire space sation for this purpose!"

"Well come on, how long do you think he spent on this thing?" Hobbes asked. "Two... three minutes? Let's just invade the place and stop him."

"I'm afraid it's not going to be that easy." MTM said. "Brainstorm has a force field around the ship. Preventing anything from entering."

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked at MTM in shock.

"You...you mean he's actually thought this through?" Hobbes demanded.

* * *

Brainstorm cackled, insanely, watching the lights all around the planet go out.

"Finally!" He screamed. "After all this time! My hard work has paid off! THE WORLD IS MINE!! _I HAVE TAKEN OVER THE PLANET!!_"

"And everyone is totally unaware of it." Jack said, rolling his eyes.

Brainstorm ignored him, and continued typing into the keyboard.

"My broadcast to all of Earth's radios and TVs will be transmitted in less than five minutes. The human race will bow down before _me_, and I will restore their _precious_ electricity!"

"Uh huh." Jack said.

Just then, the space station lurched sideways, unexpectantly.

Brainstorm was knocked off his feet.

"What the heck was that?!" He demanded, leaping to his feet.

"Calvin and Hobbes, I'd assume," Jack said, who had been completely unaffected by the lurch.

"Impossible!" The mad scientist declared. "I took care of them! They've been..."

Just then, the cardboard box flew up to the window.

Calvin grinned, evilly.

Brainstorm stared at them.

"Darn it..." He mumbled.

A little laser blaster, which had been drawn on the front of the box, began glowing bright red.

_**BLASST!!**_

The station lurched, again.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK, JACK!!" Brainstorm screeched, holding onto the console for support.

"That's nice." Jack replied.

"_DO _SOMETHING!!" Brainstorm shrieked.

Jack took another sip from his lemonade.

Brainstorm growled, and began typing into his console.

Suddenly, one of the satellites came back to life, and began turning back towards the box.

Sherman looked around at it.

"He's coming back at us," He said, whirling around to Calvin.

Calvin looked back around to the satellite.

"Taken care of." He said. "MTM?"

"Mmm-hmm," MTM replied.

A laser blast shot out of the satellite, heading straight for the box.

Suddenly a transparent green dome appeared around it.

The laser blast ricocheted off, and headed towards the Earth.

"Amazing what NASA adds to their satellites." Andy commented.

"Alright," Calvin grinned, turning back to the panel before him. "MTM, any chance of getting Brainstorm and Jack out of there and destroying the station?"

"Nope," MTM replied. "The field is too strong. I'm using up about half of my power just to make it lurch."

"OK, then in that case, let me try something else." Calvin said.

He set the MTM down, and reached into his hypercube, which he had nearby.

He pulled out a bright green megaphone.

"Open communications channel," Calvin ordered, grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

Inside the station, Brainstorm was typing furiously into his keyboard.

Suddenly, a flashing red light lit up on the console.

"Ah!" The mad scientist grinned. "That must be Earth's great leaders! Calling to surrender to me and make me the supreme ruler of the planet!! _ME! _DR BRAINSTORM!! _I ROCK!!_"

Jack, without even looking up, reached up and flipped a switch on his head, turning off his ear piece.

"Sure," He said.

Brainstorm hit the button.

"Hello? Earth leaders? This is Dr Brainstorm! I can see you've decide to cooperate and give me the planet! _SMART MOVE!!_"

There was a moment of silence.

Brainstorm blinked.

Then, a response came.

_**SSCCCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCHHHH!!**_

"AUUGH!" Brainstorm screamed, holding his ears, and leaping backwards from the console.

The speaker vibrated violently, as a blood curdling scream emitted from them, filling the entire room.

Brainstorm curled up into a fetal position on the floor, and held his head.

_BZZZZT!!_

Suddenly, electrically burst out from the computer's hard drive, showering the floor with sparks.

Brainstorm looked up.

"NOOO!" He screamed, rushing over, and frantically typing into the keyboard. "CLOSE COMMUNICATIONS CHANNEL!! OBEY ME!!"

All around, the ship began shutting down. Lights went out, computers went dead, and the control over the satellites was cut off.

The satellites all suddenly switched back on, and turned back to their original positions.

The lights all the Earth shifted back on, lighting the planet back up.

A siren went off through the space station.

Brainstorm frantically typed into the keyboard, running over to different parts of the console, flipping switches and pulling levers down.

And through it all, Jack didn't even blink.

Finally, Brainstorm gave up, and turned to Jack.

"JACK! IT'S TIME TO RETREAT!! GET IN THE ROCKET!!" He screamed.

Jack didn't respond.

"Jack? JACK!! _I'M TALKING TO YOU!!_" The insane scientist screeched.

Jack scratched his head, and turned the page to his magazine.

Brainstorm stared at him.

Then his expression darkened.

He marched over to the robot, and flipped the switch on his head.

The robot looked up.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He said. "Did you need something?"

Brainstorm glared at him.

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched as the space station shut down completely.

"Good old Scream Horn," Calvin chuckled, throwing the megaphone back into the hypercube. "Old Brainstorm should be leaving in about five... four... three... two... one..."

Suddenly, one part of the space station lit up.

There was a blast of fire, and the Brainstorm rocket burst from it.

Brainstorm screeched angrily at Calvin and Hobbes from the box, then flew off back towards Earth.

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, I'd say this was a success." Andy said, finally.

"Ditto," Socrates nodded. "Let's go finish that movie."

Calvin pushed a button on the Time Machine.

_ZZZZZZT!!_

There was a blast of electricity, and the Time Machine vanished.

* * *

Meanwhile, the laser blast that was shot at Calvin and Hobbes from the satellite was still rocketing downwards towards the Earth.

It blasted through the atmosphere, and kept going.

It shot a hole through the clouds and headed straight towards a freeway.

The camera pans out as the laser blasts straight into a black pavement.

But it didn't stop there.

Drilling a hole into the ground, the laser cuts through the dirt, going deeper and deeper into the Earth.

Suddenly, it struck something.

Something metal.

A chrome sphere.

The sphere absorbed the blast, and suddenly lit up.

Lines of red light ran all around it, and it began glowing bright red.

A loud humming rang out, and the ground began shaking.

The orb suddenly began collapsing into a shape.

The shape of a robot.

A man stepped out onto his front porch, holding a cup of coffee in his hands.

He looked around the sky.

"Well, the power's on, now," He said to himself.

He took a sip from his coffee, and prepared to turn back into his house.

Suddenly, the ground began shaking.

"Now, what?" The man demanded, looking around.

His eyes fell on the road.

Suddenly, a huge crack appeared in it.

_K-K-K-K-K-K-K!!_

The man's eyes popped open, and he began backing up.

Another large crack burst from the road.

_KKKKK—__**CRACK!!**_

The man's mouth dropped open, and he dropped his coffee.

The mug landed on the sidewalk, and shattered, throwing coffee everywhere.

A chrome hand burst from the pavement.

It grabbed hold of the road, and began pushing itself up.

More large cracks appeared in the road as a robot emerged from the road.

The man screamed and ran into his house, slamming the door.

The robot looked like Jack. Sort of. He looked more like Jack during his "Evil" episode. He had metal claws, razor sharp teeth, and glowing white eyes.

The robot cut his eyes from side to side.

He stood up straight, and brushed some dirt off him.

Then, he looked back up.

"The Shadow _lives!_" It growled, dangerously.

And with that, it rushed off down the road.

Oops.

* * *

_VROOOOM!!_

Calvin flew his box through Socrates' open window into the house.

There, he landed it on the floor in Socrates' room.

"Excellent!" Socrates said, leaping out of the box. "Let's catch up on the movie, shall we?"

"Agreed," Hobbes and Andy nodded.

"Do what you want," Calvin said, "I'll be off reading a comic book,"

Sherman rolled his eyes, and walked off to himself with a tiny novel.

Socrates, Hobbes and Andy shrugged, and sat down on Socrates' bed in front of the giant TV in the room.

They finished the show, and then started browsing for something else.

"Well, let's see what's on the news," Andy suggested. "Chances are they'll have something about that worldwide power outage,"

"Sure, let's see," Socrates grinned.

He changed it to NBC.

Immediately, the TV switched over to a news reporter interviewing some man.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman looked up and stared at the TV.

"So, you think the worldwide power failure may have something to do with solar flares?" The reporter asked.

The other man nodded.

"Yes, it's a rare occurrence, but it may be possible for a solar flare to actually cause a power failure of that nature," He said.

"Do you also think that any of it might have something to do with global warming or the thinning of the ozone?" The reporter asked.

The man stared at him.

"Why would _that _have anything to do with it?" He asked.

The reporter rolled his eyes.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at the TV, blankly.

"Well, I've seen enough," Calvin said. "What else is on?"

Socrates nodded, and changed the channel.

The TV switched over to the exact same news cast.

Socrates blinked, and changed the channel, again.

The channel switched, again, and came to the same news reporter talking about the power failure.

Socrates' brow furrowed, and he started flipping through the channels.

"Hmm, this seems serious," He commented. "This is all they have on all channels!"

The tiger browsed through the other channels in the guide.

"Well, I assume that something as big as that would deserve some publicity," Hobbes said.

"Oh come on," Calvin said, waving it off. "People will get over it. The power was only out for... what? Two minutes? Pretty soon, these news reporters will find some other occurrence to obsess about, and then everyone will forget about this."

There was a moment of silence.

"Three minutes," MTM said.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman turned and stared at him.

"What?" Calvin asked.

"The power was off for three minutes," MTM said.

There was a long moment of silence.

"You're just desperate to make it so I can't be right, aren't you?" Calvin growled.

MTM sighed.

* * *

A terrible blizzard roared across a white, snowy, mountainous landscape.

The camera pans past the snow capped mountains, and up to a ridge to another large mountain.

Shadow was trudging through the snow, apparently immune to the extreme cold.

He was muttering to himself and staring straight ahead with an expressionless face.

He climbed up the ridge before reaching a flat piece of ground.

In a sort of _The Grudge _manner, Shadow crawled up onto the ledge, and stood up.

Right before him was an opening in the rock, leading to a large cavern.

Shadow grinned evilly, and crept through the heavy snow into the cave.

His glowing white eyes lit up the darkness as he went, until he came to a dead end in the rocks.

Shadow then held his hand up over the wall, before him.

He leaned over, and hissed something into it.

Then, he stood back.

Suddenly, an electronic voice rang out through the cave.

"PASSWORD ACCEPTED."

_K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K!!_

Shadow watched as the rocks suddenly collapsed, revealing a large room.

The robot grinned, evilly, and walked into the room.

The room was only lit by a couple of flickering lamps. There were cobwebs everywhere, and several rats scurried away upon Shadow's arrival. It was so dark, it was nearly impossible to make out anything inside.

The robot stalked across the floor, his footsteps making echos as he went.

"My master," He hissed into the darkness. "I have returned,"

He looked down, and his flashlight eyes revealed a large, dusty computer console.

Then, he lifted his head, and the light his eyes were emitting revealed something else; A man.

A man was standing motionless in a large glass cylinder. His eyes were closed and he showed no apparent signs of life.

The man had a strange resemblance to the Brainstorm family. He had a tall hairdo ending in spikes as if he had been electrocuted. _This _man's hair, however, was dyed jet black. He was wearing a matching black lab coat with a white shirt underneath. His gloves, shoes, and pants were also black.

"Trapped in stasis, my master," Shadow hissed, lowering his claws over the computer console. "You will now be freed!"

The robot flipped a switch on the console and pushed a bright green button.

_VRROOOOOOOOMMM!!_

Suddenly, engines around Shadow roared to life and began humming.

At first, this was the only outcome, then, something else occurred.

Slowly, inside the stasis cylinder, the man's fingers began twitching ever so slightly. Then, they grasped into a fist.

The man's electric blue eyes burst open.

He scanned the room around him, then his eyes fell onto Shadow.

He grinned, evilly.

Suddenly, air shot out of the bottom of the glass chamber, as it began lifting upward.

Shadow took a step back.

The glass chamber lifted from the platform, and the man came stumbling out.

He looked around, dazed for a moment.

"What... happened?" He asked in a deep voice.

"Post-stasis trauma," Shadow hissed.

"Post-stasis what?" The man demanded, rubbing his head. "Oh. How convenient. _Lister _didn't go through that. What's going on?"

"We have been freed, master," Shadow said. "I have emerged from my underground imprisonment, and I have released you."

The man looked himself up and down.

"Do I still have everything? Arms... Legs... Fingers... my head... Good, good," He said.

Then, his head came up.

"Shadow, switch the main power on," He ordered.

"I obey," Shadow said, bowing his head.

He turned to the computer console, and pushed some buttons.

_KA-COOM! KA-COOOM!! KA-COOOM! KA-COOOOM!!_

One by one, lights on the ceiling came to life, lighting up the entire room. Which, actually was a laboratory.

The man looked around.

Several inventions littered the black tiles on the ground, there was dust and cobwebs everywhere, and there were giant machines surrounding them.

The man blinked.

"That's quite a mess for a few days in stasis," He commented.

There was a pause.

"Shadow?" The man said, suddenly.

"Yes, master?" Shadow replied.

"How _long _was I in stasis?" The man asked, his left eye twitching.

"Gathering appropriate data, master. Please wait," Shadow said.

The robot began humming loudly, and the lights in his eyes flickered, slightly.

The man turned and stared at him.

"Data retrieved," Shadow said. "Last recorded date, five years, three months, two weeks, five days, seven hours ago."

The man's eyes burst open.

"FIVE YEARS?!" He screamed, frantically. "I've been in stasis for _five years?!_"

"Affirmative," Shadow replied.

The man looked around the lab.

"How did I get in stasis to begin with?" He wondered, rubbing his chin.

He paused for a moment.

Then, a light came on in his eyes.

"_Brainstorm,_" He growled, dangerously.

He whipped around to Shadow.

"Brainstorm!!" He repeated, angrily. "_Doctor_ Brainstorm! And his little robot associate, Jack,"

Shadow looked up at the man.

"Brainstorm and Jack?" He asked. "They are our competitors."

"Yes, until Brainfreak did _this_ to us!" He hissed. "They've caused us so much pain!"

"Pain," Shadow repeated.

The man rushed over to the computer console, and frantically began typing.

"And, now, five years later, he thinks he is rid of us. He probably hasn't thought of us for _years!_"

He looked up, and turned to Shadow.

"And now we're back! _We are back!_" He shouted. "And Shadow, rest assured that revenge will be ours!"

Shadow grinned, evilly.

"Because now, Shadow, now," The man advanced over the robot, grinning maniacally. "_**I**_ am back! DR THUNDERSTORM HAS RETURNED!"

And with that, both of them burst out with insane laughter.

Ho boy...


	32. Thunderstorm P2

_Part two written by Garfieldodie_

Later that afternoon, Calvin and Hobbes were walking along the sidewalk towards home. They had finished all business with Socrates, Andy and Sherman, and they were ready to get on to some business of their own.

"So, now that we're done over there, what do you want to do?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin paused and pulled out a notepad from his pocket.

"Huh," he said. "Well, let's see, what have done this past week…?" He proceeded in flipping through pages. "Let's see, we went wading in the creek, we threw a water balloon at Susie, we got stuck in another one of Socrates' pranks, we threw a water balloon at Moe, we watched cartoons, we threw a water balloon at my dad, we went treasure hunting, we threw a water balloon at my mom…"

"I remember that one," Hobbes said.

"Hobbes," Calvin said, putting the pad away, "it seems we have overlooked something very important as of late."

"And that is?"

"We haven't had a GROSS meeting in months!"

Hobbes gasped.

"What?!" he cried. "You can't be serious!"

"I'm _dead_ serious!"

"Well, what do we do?! We've got to make up for this somehow!"

"Agreed! There's only one thing to do!"

There was a brief pause.

"And that is…?" Hobbes asked, motioning for him to continue.

"We need to have a meeting right this very minute!" Calvin declared.

"Right!"

They promptly started running down the sidewalk to their house.

Calvin ran on ahead of him and got to the front door first and promptly yanked it open.

He ended up crashing into his father as he entered.

Dad looked down and saw his son and his stuffed tiger had smashed into his legs.

"Calvin, don't run," he said sternly. "You could've ruined my pants."

"And I could've gotten hurt as well," Calvin sighed. "Thanks for noticing."

"Sorry, but your mother and I are going out tonight, and we want to look presentable, which is more than I can say for you at the moment."

Calvin glared at him.

"Well, I'm busy right now," he grumbled. "Hobbes and I have some business to attend to."

Calvin picked Hobbes up and headed for the stairs.

"Oh, and Calvin, Rosalyn is coming by, so best behavior tonight," he said.

"Rosalyn?!" Calvin cried, stopping and staring at him. "What the heck for?!"

"Because you needed a babysitter, and we needed a _cheap_ babysitter," Mom said, putting her earrings on.

"Cheap?!" Dad asked. "You call Rosalyn _cheap?!_ My wallet's never been lighter in years."

"Well, with your bad back, maybe that's for the best," Calvin said.

Dad glared at him.

"Besides, why are you going out? After the blackout today, I'm surprised you're going anywhere!"

"Pah!" Dad snorted. "As if I'd let the technology get in my way! I'd have been happy if it'd stayed turned off!"

Calvin squeezed his eyes shut in annoyance.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

_**DING-DONG!**_

They all looked up.

"Oh, good! She's here!" Mom said, walking forward.

Dad followed her.

Calvin gulped nervously and stood on the stairs with Hobbes.

"It's too late!" he whispered. "Nowhere to run!"

"Have you noticed these stairs behind you?" Hobbes asked.

The door was opened by Mom.

Rosalyn stood at the door. She had a grim look on her face.

"Rosalyn! How are you?" Mom asked cheerfully.

"Fine, I suppose," Rosalyn replied. "I had to cancel a date for this, but that's okay. I just_ love_ watching Calvin." She said that last part through gritted teeth.

Mom and Dad nodded nervously.

"Right then, well, help yourself to anything you need around here. Calvin, you be good! See you later tonight."

"NO!" Calvin cried. "DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! SAVE ME!"

Calvin leapt from the stairs just as Mom and Dad were walking out the door.

_**WHAM!**_

Calvin collided with the now closed door. He was stuck to it for a moment before he finally slid down and landed in a heap on the floor.

Rosalyn towered angrily over him.

Calvin looked around.

Hobbes had vanished again.

Rosalyn glared at him.

"Bedtime," she said sternly.

Calvin stared at her.

"What?!" he cried. "It's barely five o'clock yet!"

"I don't care! I had to cancel a date tonight to do this gig, and I'm not about to let you ruin an already ruined night! You're going to bed and that's _final!_" she shouted.

Calvin managed to get to his feet.

"Right!" he said quickly. "I'll do just that!"

And he darted up the stairs to his room.

He found Hobbes already there, just reading a comic book on the bed.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"You got up here awful fast," he said.

"Three years of practice," Hobbes replied.

Calvin grumbled.

"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! ROSALYN CAN'T DO THIS TO US! WE HAVE OUR THINGS TO DO! WE HAVE JOBS! _SHE CAN'T HOLD ME!_"

"_**SHUT UP!!**_" Rosalyn shouted.

"Sorry," Calvin said meekly.

"That's it, Calvin," Hobbes sighed. "Read her the riot act."

Calvin glared at him.

"Oh, this isn't over yet!" he declared. "Come on, Hobbes! We need to strategize! Get out the box! It's time for a top-secret **G**ET **R**ID **O**F **S**LIMY **G**IRLS meeting!"

* * *

Back at Yellowstone, Dr Brainstorm's lab was still and waiting.

Suddenly, the door suddenly opened.

Dr Brainstorm was standing in the front, covered in soot and ash.

Jack was behind him, not paying attention to his grumbling.

"Well, _that_ was a wash!" Dr B fumed, stomping into the lab.

"Yeah," said Jack, following him. "Speaking of washing, you need a shower."

"Whatever. Anyway, I guess it's time to start working on Super Plan B."

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Uh-huh," he said. "Just another big and interesting way to fail."

Brainstorm grumbled as he headed over to his workbench.

"Hey, if it's any consolation, you actually sounded threatening to us," he said consoling, patting him on the back.

Dr Brainstorm paused.

"Yeah…it helps a little. Thanks," he sighed.

Jack smiled slightly and then went over to watch TV.

Dr Brainstorm then stood up.

"ALRIGHT THEN, JACK! I'M OFF TO BEGIN PREPARATIONS FOR SUPER PLAN B! I'LL BE BACK TUESDAY!" he shouted.

"Go for it, loser," Jack replied.

Dr Brainstorm started to head for his building room…

…until he saw a light flashing under the big screen.

"Huh," he said. "What's this?"

Jack looked up and saw the red light flashing.

"It means we have a call," he said. "Someone left a video message."

There was a pause.

"Uh…," Brainstorm finally said. "I don't suppose you could…"

"…play if for you?"

"WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?! THAT I CAN'T PLAY IT MYSELF? ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I'M A USELESS DO NOTHING WHO CAN'T HANDLE ANYTHING HE BUILT HIMSELF?! IS THAT WHAT IT IS?! _HUH?! HUH?! __**TELL ME?!**_"

Jack stared at him.

"Wow," he said. "You just summed yourself up. Good for you."

Brainstorm growled at him.

"Just play it," he grumbled.

Jack grinned wryly and pushed a button on the console.

The giant screen whirred into life, and before they knew it, a picture appeared on screen.

Dr Brainstorm's eyes bugged out and his mouth dropped open in utter shock.

And for possibly the first time in a long time, Jack's eyes opened wide, and his usual bored look shifted into an also shocked look.

"No…," Dr Brainstorm gasped. "It can't be!"

"It…it is!" Jack said.

They both recognized the figures on the screen.

"DR _THUNDERSTORM?!_" Brainstorm shouted.

"_SHADOW?!_" Jack cried.

Dr Thunderstorm was glaring at him angrily through the pre-recorded message.

"This is a recording, Brainstorm, you old doof," Thunderstorm growled. "Don't bother talking to me. I just want you to know that I'm back."

"Yeah, we gathered that from your message," Jack muttered.

"Shut up," Brainstorm ordered, fury growing across his face.

"I've decided what to do," Thunderstorm continued. "Shadow's determined where you are. So you decided to live under Old Faithful, eh, Frank? Nice place if you like that sort of thing. Well, guess what: I'm going to destroy you and everything you stand for and everything you've done to me will go flying back into your face. Then, as an added burn, I'll do the one thing you could never do. I'M GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! BWA, HA, HA, HA!"

"Affirmative," said Shadow, who was standing behind him. "Recording terminated."

The screen blinked off.

Jack glanced over at Dr Brainstorm.

Dr Brainstorm was growling loudly, his nostrils flared, his entire body trembling and he was breathing heavily.

"Uh, Frank, maybe you should sit down," Jack said nervously.

"_**IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!**_" Brainstorm shouted angrily.

This was far more violently loud than usual. It was far more incredibly loud and threatening. In fact, Jack was knocked over by the shockwaves coming out of his mouth.

Jack stared at him.

"HE'S A JERK!" Dr Brainstorm ranted. "THAT DOUBLE-CROSSING, NO GOOD, ABSOLUTE WASTE OF A SON OF A STUPID PAIR OF PARENTS ESCAPED FROM HIS HOLD!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM, I'M GONNA SHOOT HIM DEAD WITH A SILVER BULLET!"

Jack stared.

"Seriously?" he asked.

"I hate him more than Calvin!"

"Wow, you _are_ serious."

Brainstorm growled again.

"There's only one thing to do!" he said dramatically. "We must stop Thunderstorm and Shadow before they take over the world!"

There was a pause.

"How'd they get out Thunderstorm out of stasis?" Jack wondered.

"We'll ask him later," said Dr Brainstorm. "For now, we've got work to do! IT'S TIME TO STRATEGIZE! Here's my idea: using a giant wooden horse, we hide within it, and Thunderstorm and Shadow accept it as a gift of surrendering, and they push it inside with us inside, and then we jump out and kill them both!"

There was a pause.

Jack stared at him.

"Uh…no?" he said, reacquiring his bored expression.

"HEY, DON'T KNOCK IT! IT FOOLED THE TROJANS!"

"And that was _how_ long ago?" Jack sighed.

Dr Brainstorm grumbled and stomped away.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Look, just get a hold of Calvin and Hobbes. Maybe they can help us," he said.

Brainstorm stopped and whirled around.

"Oh, no," he said slowly. "_Oh_ no! No, no, no, no, no, no, _no!_ Absolutely not! Negative! No way! Never! And in case you didn't pick on that, NO!"

Jack nodded slightly.

"Right," he said. "Now how about you tell me _why_ it is that when you _need_ help, you refuse it."

"Because _I_ want to be the heroic villain, okay?!" he wailed. "There's got to be at least one time where _I'm_ the one who has a victory!"

Jack shook his head.

"Look, call me useless or not, but I think you need help with this one," he said.

"NO!" Brainstorm shouted. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have an idiot to kill!"

"You're committing suicide?" Jack asked.

Brainstorm growled and stomped away.

Jack watched him unsurely. Then he glanced over at the communicator.

"Wow," he said. "I think I just had a pang of conscience. I could've sworn I got rid of that thing."

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes were hiding under a cardboard box in their room.

"Okay, so are we clear on the plan?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah, we run downstairs and annoy the heck out of her," Hobbes replied.

"And do we have the Calvinball masks?"

"Check."

"Good. And the dart guns?"

"Yep."

"Now then, are we ready?"

"Let's bring it."

"Game on."

The box suddenly exploded off of them, revealing them both to be wearing their black masks.

"ATTACK!" they cried together.

They ran towards the door and yanked it open.

Rosalyn towered over them angrily.

"What are _you_ doing?" she asked stormily.

"Nothing," Calvin said nervously. "Enjoy your dateless evening."

"Good."

Calvin quickly shut the door.

"We probably should've planned that out a bit more," said Hobbes.

Calvin nodded.

_**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**_

They both looked up.

"What's that?" asked Hobbes.

"It's me," said MTM, who was sitting on the desk. "We're getting a call."

Calvin quickly ran over to him and popped him open.

"Hello, this is Calvin. What can I do you for?" he said.

"Calvin, its Jack. Can I talk to you about something?"

"I dunno. Can you?"

There was a pause.

"You're so lame sometimes," Hobbes sighed.

Calvin glared at him.

"What do you want, Jack?"

"Actually, can you teleport me there?" he asked. "This isn't the sort of thing I want to discuss over the phone. I'll run out of minutes."

"Check," said Calvin. "MTM? Send him in."

"Righto!" said MTM.

There was a pause.

Then in a field of electricity, Jack arrived in their bedroom.

"Hey, guys," he said.

"Hello," MTM said.

"So, what's up?" asked Hobbes.

"We've got trouble," Jack said grimly. "One of Frank's old rivals has shown up."

"What, _another_ mad scientist?" asked Calvin. "Big whoop."

"Yeah, if he's anything like Frank, we're just fine. He shouldn't be _too_ scary."

"I wouldn't be so sarcastic if I were you," Jack said.

"Oh and why not?" Calvin asked, rolling his eyes.

"Well, _I'm_ scared of him."

There was a pause.

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him in surprise.

"…Seriously?" Calvin asked.

"Who is he?" asked Hobbes.

"Dr Thunderstorm and his robot sidekick, Shadow," Jack explained. "It's a long story and should probably be done with a flashback…"

* * *

Apparently, Brainstorm and Thunderstorm went to college together, and they both hated each other. Thunderstorm was conceited at the fact that he was a better inventor than Brainstorm was, and Brainstorm was furious about this.

Afterwards, the two scientists would hysterically compete with each other, both of them getting angrier all the time. When Brainstorm built Jack, Thunderstorm built Shadow. When Brainstorm made his hypercube, Thunderstorm made a _working_ hypercube. When Brainstorm moved to an underground laboratory, Thunderstorm built a bigger and better one in Antarctica, which people would never find.

Eventually, Brainstorm got sick of Thunderstorm out-inventing him and decided to get to work on a Brainstorm Space Station in order to prove his point that he could take over the world. Once he found out, Thunderstorm, who by this time had actually gone totally insane, bluffed to Brainstorm by threatening to use a device called the Death Machine that could wipe out one third of the population with a press of a button. Brainstorm refused to believe Thunderstorm and continued working on the space station. It was one of the few smart things that Brainstorm ever did.

At that point, Thunderstorm became hostile. He sent Shadow to the lab in Calvin's town repeatedly to attack Brainstorm and Jack. Shadow, being equally insane and dangerous as Thunderstorm, has several features that Jack doesn't have, and he's a total killing machine. Therefore Jack and Brainstorm were virtually powerless to his attacks. Eventually, Jack initiated a sleeping function on Shadow, and buried him underground.

Then, Thunderstorm attacked Brainstorm and Jack himself, and Brainstorm, accidentally of course, trapped Thunderstorm in stasis. Thunderstorm was then transported back to his lab, and was since forgotten.

* * *

"…and that's where a lot of the anger and bitterness comes from," Jack finished. "It also explains some of his egotism, seeing as how trapping Thunderstorm in stasis was his only true victory. In his own dumb way, Frank saved the entire planet."

Calvin and Hobbes had clung to every word and were completely stunned by the story.

"Wow…," said Calvin. "Just when you think you know a guy."

Hobbes nodded.

"It's so strange," Jack continued. "They both started out so nicely."

"What? You mean they were friends at one point?" Hobbes asked.

"Yeah. Frank never gave me all the details, but I think I learned the basic message."

"What's that?" asked Calvin.

Jack paused for a second before he spoke again.

"Most friendships end in betrayal," he said at last. "And those two are sworn enemies now."

Calvin and Hobbes gulped.

"Oh, this is gonna be a tough one," Calvin sighed, running a hand through his hair. "We're gonna have to face this Thunderstorm guy at some point. No time like the present, I suppose."

Hobbes groaned.

"Do we _really_ want to get involved in this?" he asked. "This is _Frank's_ problem!"

"Sure!" said Calvin. "If we can just face him head-on, armed with everything we can fight with, I'm sure we can get him back into stasis!"

"It sounds like a really crummy plan, but okay," said Jack.

"Uh-huh," said Calvin. "We'll need some extra arms, though. Let's get Socrates, Andy and Sherman over here."

"Er, could you teleport me back to Yellowstone first, though? I'd better keep an eye on Frank. He could go a bit far this time. We don't know what he'll do next," Jack said.

"True, he has slightly improved as of late by at least one per cent," Hobbes admitted.

"MTM, send Jack home."

"Right," said MTM.

In a field of electricity, Jack was teleported out of the room.

"Okay, now try and get Andy, Sherman and Socrates here, please," Calvin said.

"Oh sure, send for this, send for that, you always think of yourself these days, don't you?" MTM grumbled. "I'm gonna get my paint scratched one of these days."

"Whatever. Just send them here."

There was a pause.

"Well…?" Calvin asked.

"Say please."

"I _did_ say please!"

"Say it again."

Calvin groaned.

"PLEASE!" he shouted.

"Thank you."

In another field of electricity, Socrates, Andy and Sherman suddenly appeared.

"Oh great," Sherman moaned. "I was in the middle of splicing a DNA."

"What do we have to do now?" Andy asked.

Calvin spoke up.

"We have to stop a true threat to the world, boys," he announced.

"Do we?" Socrates asked.

Calvin glanced over to his left.

Hobbes had vanished again.

"Okay," he sighed. "First, we have to find Hobbes, and_ then_ we have to stop a true threat to the world."


	33. Thunderstorm P3

_Part three written by Swing123_

Thunderstorm and Shadow were frantically working at their computers, developing a plan.

Shadow's claws had been taken off, and he had connected his arms into an outlet in the computer.

Numbers were flashing across his eyes as he stared straight ahead, motionless.

Thunderstorm was typing into another computer, his eyes darting back and forth between the various screens above him.

"File 242-IM, stop," He said to a microphone connected to the computer as he typed. "File 73-9M, stop, File 423-X, stop,"

Windows and subwindows popped up all over the screens as the mad scientist typed.

"Conclusion," Thunderstorm said, turning to Shadow.

The robot's arms disconnected from the computer, and his claws popped back into place.

"Replica building process completed." He said, turning to a large machine behind him. "All systems down. Lower protective barrier."

_SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!!_

Air shot out a square metal frame up the top of the machine, and it lifted upward.

Shadow stood back.

The steel door lifted upward into the top of the machine, revealing a small dark chamber.

Thunderstorm and Shadow stared at the machine.

Suddenly, the sound of a motor revving up was sounded, and a pair of small circular lights appeared side by side in the darkness.

Thunderstorm pulled a lever down.

An exact duplicate of Shadow emerged from the chamber, silently, its headlight eyes scanning its surroundings.

"Excellent!" Thunderstorm growled, rubbing his hands together. "Shadow, bring it down here!"

"I obey," Shadow hissed.

The robot turned and pushed some buttons on the console.

Suddenly, he stopped.

Thunderstorm turned around.

"Shadow?" He demanded. "Bring it down here! What are you doing?"

"Computer command override," Shadow said, suddenly, the lights in his eyes going up to the computer screen. "Incoming transmition from Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming."

Thunderstorm's eyes brightened.

"Ah, bring it onscreen," He smiled. "Let's see how my good friend has progressed in last five years."

"Affirmative." Shadow said.

There was a moment of silence.

Suddenly, Dr Brainstorm and Jack appeared on Thunderstorm's screen.

Brainstorm didn't look happy.

"YOU!" He shouted, angrily, pointing at Thunderstorm. "I ORDER YOU TO GET BACK INTO STASIS AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

Thunderstorm rolled his eyes.

"I see you haven't changed that much since I last saw you, last, Frank," He said, coldly, crossing his arms.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!**_"

"Not that much at all," Thunderstorm repeated shaking his head. "And Jack! How lovely to see you, again! Does your left arm still come off if someone pulls on it, too hard?"

Jack glared at Thunderstorm and didn't answer.

Brainstorm cut in.

"_**I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW IT DOESN'T!!**_" He screamed, frantically. "JACK IS EQUIPPED WITH AUTO-REPAIR NANOTECHNOLOGY, NOW! THAT ARM IS ON THERE FOR GOOD!! _**WE HAVEN'T EVEN USED THAT GAG SINCE OUR FIRST APPEARANCE ON THE SHOW!!**_"

"Uh huh," Thunderstorm said. "Why am I not surprised it took you five years to learn how to work nanotechnology ?"

"How did you get out of stasis, to begin with?" Jack asked, seriously, staring intently at Thunderstorm.

"Shadow let me out," Thunderstorm grinned. "Apparently something released him from his sleeping feature."

"YEAH?! _**YEAH?!**_ WELL JACK WOULD DO THE SAME THING FOR ME IF _**I **_GOT STUCK IN STASIS!! RIGHT JACK?!" Brainstorm whipped around to Jack.

Jack stared at him.

"Not right away, no," He said, finally.

Brainstorm whipped back to Thunderstorm.

"SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!! JACK'S JUST AS POWERFUL AND OBEDIENT AS YOUR PRECIOUS SHADOW IS!! SPEAKING OF WHICH... why are there two... Shadows... now?" Brainstorm's voice trailed off as he spotted the second Shadow standing on the floor next to the machine.

"Yeah right, like I'm going to tell you my plan," Thunderstorm said. "I'm sorry Brainstorm, but if you called me thinking that you're going to stop me from taking over the planet, then I have a bit of a disappointment for you. Shadow, come here,"

"I obey," Shadow bowed, walking up to Thunderstorm.

Brainstorm glared at Jack.

Thunderstorm opened up the compartment in Shadow's head, and reached inside.

Sparks of electricity flew from the top of Shadow's head, as Thunderstorm ripped something out.

The scientist pulled out a small black box, threw it aside, and closed Shadow's head up, again.

Shadow straightened up.

"Sleeping Mode deactivated." He said.

Thunderstorm turned a sinister grin onto Brainstorm.

"Shadow, go to Yellowstone and kill Brainstorm and Jack," He ordered.

The light in Shadow's eyes flickered for a moment, then suddenly, the robot bolted upward.

He landed on the ceiling, and his claws and feet stuck to it.

"JACK CAN DO THAT, TOO!!" Brainstorm shouted, hysterically, pointing at Shadow.

"No, I can't," Jack said.

"SHUT UP, JACK!!" Brainstorm spat.

Shadow climbed across the ceiling, staring straight ahead, went over the exit door, and disappeared.

The robot climbed upside down through the rocky cave, until he reached the entrance.

He leaped out into the snow and looked around.

Then, suddenly, there was a blast of snow, and Shadow vanished, bolting down the mountain at over a hundred miles per hour.

Thunderstorm grinned evilly at Brainstorm.

"Enjoy your last hours on Earth, Dr Brainstorm," He said, dangerously.

Brainstorm was nearly frantic.

"YOU CAN'T WIN!!" He screamed, hopping up and down, hysterically. "IF I CAN'T BEAT YOU, SOMEONE ELSE WILL!!"

"Really?" Thunderstorm asked, his eyebrows jumping. "Such as?"

Brainstorm stopped hopping.

He stared off into space for a moment.

Then, he turned a grin onto Thunderstorm.

"You don't know what's been going on the last five years!" He said, triumphantly. "I could have a secret weapon! I could have invented something more advanced that what _you've _invented! I could know some _people!_ _**PEOPLE, THUNDERSTORM!! PEOPLE!!**_"

"Whom?" Thunderstorm asked, crossing his arms.

Suddenly, a red light began flashing on Thunderstorm's ceiling.

An electronic voice shouted, "INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!"

Thunderstorm and Brainstorm looked around the lab in confusion.

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion, and the entrance to the lab was blown away.

Thunderstorm and Brainstorm turned, and stared.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman were sitting in the cardboard box, glaring at Thunderstorm.

Calvin was holding the MTM in one hand and the hypercube in the other.

Brainstorm and Thunderstorm stared at Calvin and the gang in shock.

There was a small pause.

"Well..." Brainstorm said, awkwardly. "I guess I should go, now,"

And with that, he pushed a button on his console, and the screen died.

"Who are you?" Thunderstorm demanded, pulling a jet black gun from his lab coat.

"Who are we?" Calvin said, seriously, his eyes narrowing. "Your worst nightmare."

There was a moment of silence.

"Ya know, Calvin, that line has been used so many times now, it's not even _mildly_ threatening anymore," Socrates said.

"Yeah, it actually just took all the drama out," Andy commented. "It's like having 555 for a phone number."

Calvin glared at them.

"Fine whatever, just attack him." He grumbled.

Calvin leaped out of the Time Machine, MTM in hand, and landed on the black tiled floor.

He held the MTM up, and a bolt of lightning shot out.

Thunderstorm leaped from the way, as the electric blast charred a piece of floor.

He stared in shock at the floor, and turned to Calvin.

"You little rat," he growled. "So you're an inventor, too?"

"Correct!" Calvin grinned, aiming the MTM at Thunderstorm. "Now prepare to meet your doom, Thunderhead!"

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all walked up to Calvin's side, each pointing an invention at Thunderstorm.

Thunderstorm cut his eyes from side to side.

"Shadow, defend!" Thunderstorm ordered, turning to the Shadow duplicate.

The lights in the robot's eyes suddenly lit up.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all turned their heads to the robot.

The duplicate held its claws up which began glowing bright red.

_**BLAST!!**_

Suddenly, two fire blasts shot out of a small laser cannon installed inside the robot's palms, and headed for Calvin.

"AAUGH!!" Calvin screamed, pushing a button the MTM.

A green transparent dome appeared around the five, and the laser blasts bounced off, and hit the floor.

Thunderstorm stood up, and backed away, grinning, insanely.

Not the kind of insane that Brainstorm had, but more like a kind of _mad_ insane.

Shadow's duplicate bolted up to Calvin and the gang and frantically began clawing at the dome, screeching.

Calvin glared at the robot and pushed a button on the MTM.

The dome began retracting, slightly, then suddenly exploded outward.

The field engulfed the duplicate as it spread outward.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGH!!" It screeched, falling to the ground.

The robot collapsed on the ground, and remained motionless.

Calvin turned a grin onto Thunderstorm.

"It's bad to have someone fight your own battles," He said, smugly. "Do you know what's even worse? _Having them lose!_"

And with that, Calvin sent another electric blast at Thunderstorm.

Thunderstorm aimed his Servant Ray and pulled the trigger.

A green blast shot out, and met the MTM's blast head on.

_**BOOM!!**_

The force threw Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman backward onto the floor.

"I trust you've already dealt with Brainstorm's Servant Ray," Thunderstorm said, raising an eyebrow. "It would fit that you wouldn't be prepared for mine, however."

And with that, Thunderstorm sent a blast of fire hurling for Calvin and Hobbes.

"AAAUGH!!" Calvin screamed pushing another button on the MTM.

The force field reappeared, and absorbed the fire.

"_Mine_ is telepathic!" Thunderstorm cackled. "SHADOW! ATTACK!!"

"Have you totally gone insane?" Socrates asked. "We took care of your little Shadow thing."

Suddenly, the duplicate of Shadow bolted upward.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman turned.

There was a pause.

"I stand corrected." Socrates said.

Shadow flung his claws forward, sending another blast of fire at the gang.

This one engulfed the entire force field causing it to disappear.

The Shadowclone then began moving forward, slowly, its eyes fixed on the five.

Calvin leaped to his feet, and aimed the MTM.

_**ZZZZT!!**_

The MTM sent another bolt of lightning at the robot, this one nailing him right in the shoulder.

Shadowclone was thrown to one side as the electricity tore off the robot's arm, and sent it flying to the other end of the room.

"YES!" Calvin yelled.

Shadowclone turned a sinister grin onto Calvin.

Suddenly, an electric field surrounded the area where Shadowclone's arm used to be.

_**ZZZZZZZT!!**_

There was a flash of bright light, and suddenly, the arm reappeared.

Shadowclone clenched his fist, and grinned.

"Not yes," Socrates said.

Shadowclone raised his fists above his head, which began glowing bright yellow.

Five large black cables suddenly burst from the floor, curled around Shadowclone, and wrapped around Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

"AAAAUGH!!" They all screamed, being incased in the black cables.

"Oh, what's wrong?" Thunderstorm asked, grinning. "Doesn't _Jack _have an Concentrated Electrical Manipulator?"

There was a pause.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at Thunderstorm blankly.

Thunderstorm sighed.

"The ability to concentrate his electrical power on a particular electrical object, thus being able to control what it does," He explained.

"Oh," Hobbes said.

Shadow screeched, and began moving in for the kill.

Calvin raised the MTM above his head.

"MTM! OVERRIDE!" He ordered.

"Why?" MTM asked.

"BECAUSE OUR LIVES DEPEND ON IT!!" Calvin screamed, frantically.

"Just like how our lives depended on me teleporting Socrates, Andy and Sherman to your room?" MTM asked.

"_**JUST DO IT!!**_"

"Oh, very well," MTM sighed.

Suddenly, electricity surrounded the tip of the MTM, and the five cables dropped, releasing Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

"DIE, ROBOT!!" Calvin screamed, sending blast after blast of fire at Shadow's duplicate.

Shadow was tossed from side to side as the fire struck him, but he continued to move forward.

Andy then moved in with the Scream Horn, and aimed it at Shadow's replica.

_**SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!**_

The shockwaves knocked Shadow back slightly, but he continued forward.

Hobbes then moved in with the Transmogrifier Gun.

He set it on Laser Mode, and began shooting wildly at the robot.

_**BLAST!! BLAST!! BLAST!! BLAST!!**_

_**SCRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**_

_**ZZZT!! ZZZT!! ZZZT!! ZZZZZT!**_

The robot continued to move forward, its eyes set intently on Calvin.

Finally, an extra loud _**BLAST **_emitted from the MTM, and a large explosion of fire engulfed Shadow's duplicate.

The robot was tossed backwards into the wall.

_**CRASH!!**_

He sunk to the ground, and lay motionless.

"SCORE ONE FOR THE BOYS BACK HOME!!" Calvin shouted.

He and Hobbes did a high five.

Suddenly, the robot's head came up.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman froze.

"All current tactics failed." It said, blandly. "Initiating Last Resort Robo-Launcher."

There was a pause.

"What launcher?" Hobbes asked.

The Shadow duplicate leaped to his feet, and opened his mouth up wide.

There was a small buzzing, then suddenly, over a hundred small locust-like robots exploded from the robot's mouth, and began circling him.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stood motionless in the middle of the room, staring at the robot, blankly.

Hobbes turned to Thunderstorm.

"You know, you have one creepy robot." He said.

Thunderstorm rolled his eyes.

The small robotic bugs swarmed all around the Shadow duplicate, who was glaring evilly at Calvin and Hobbes.

Then, suddenly, the small robots shot forward towards Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

"AAAUGH!!" They all screamed as the small robots attacked them.

Calvin held the MTM up, and tried to blast them away, but there were far too many of them.

Thunderstorm and the Shaodw replica watched, silently as the robots swarmed all around the five, driving them to the ground.

Thunderstorm clapped as the robots all flew back into Shadow's mouth, and into a small compartment in the back of his throat.

"Excellent work," He chuckled. "You're perfect for this job, duplicate."

Calvin's head came up.

"Wait, that's not the real Shadow?" He demanded.

"Of course not," Thunderstorm said. "The real Shadow would have been _much _worse,"

The robot confined Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman, forced them to their feet and pushed them into a small cell.

Thunderstorm slammed the door and locked it.

Calvin leaped to his feet, and began rattling the bars.

"NO FAIR! YOU USED ROBOT BUGS!!" He screamed.

Thunderstorm rolled his eyes.

The Shadow duplicate reached over and pulled a lever on the computer console.

A green transparent dome spread across the front of the cell.

"Now," Thunderstorm said, straightening his black lab coat. "Now that I have you under control... _who are you?_"

"Since that information is keeping us alive, I barely think we should tell you!" Calvin growled.

Thunderstorm grinned sweetly at Calvin.

"Very well, say cheese."

Before anyone could react, Thunderstorm held up a small device, aimed it at Calvin and the gang, and pushed the button.

_FLASH!!_

A light burst out, almost blinding the five, and Thunderstorm turned, and stared at his computer screen.

Suddenly, Calvin's name popped up onto the screen, followed by Hobbes', Socrates' Andy and Sherman's.

Beside the names, pictures of them sprung up, along with small descriptions.

Thunderstorm read over it.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared in shock at Thunderstorm.

"How did you..."

"Data extractor," Thunderstorm grinned at Calvin. "I just pulled every single bit of information from your brains. I know _everything _I need to know about you."

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman exchanged nervous glances.

"And I'm also assuming that you're not the only ones that Brainstorm has sent after me." Thunderstorm said, crossing his arms.

"What?" Hobbes asked. "Brainstorm didn't..."

"Apparently I need to set my plan into motion, immediately." Thunderstorm said to himself rubbing his chin. "No time to wait for Shadow's return."

He began pacing the floor.

"I need something though," He said, quietly. "Something with interdimensional energy. I need..."

Suddenly Thunderstorm looked up.

Calvin was still holding the hypercube in one hand.

"I need that!" He shouted, pointing at the cube.

Calvin looked down at the hypercube in confusion.

"Wha—what?"

Thunderstorm walked over to the cell, and reached inside.

"HEY!" Calvin screamed, as Thunderstorm snatched the hypercube away from him. "Give me that!"

"Sorry," Thunderstorm said, tossing the small cube into the air and catching it again. "But I need this,"

He walked across the lab with the hypercube, and up to a large machine.

It had a large circular hole right through the right hand side of it, with a computer console attached.

Thunderstorm inserted the hypercube into the small compartment on the machine, and began flicking some buttons.

Calvin and the gang watched.

Then, suddenly, Sherman's eyes burst open.

"Wait a minute..." He said, suddenly realizing. "You're not..."

Suddenly the machine began humming.

The hypercube began glowing bright blue.

Then, suddenly, the hole in the machine lit up with a bright blue color.

Thunderstorm grinned insanely.

"You're forcing a portal open between dimensions!" Sherman shouted. "STOP! That portal is too big!"

"What are you talking about?" Thunderstorm scoffed.

"Yeah, Sherman, what _are_ you talking about?" Calvin asked. "My hypercube and duffel bag force the portals open, too."

"Yeah, but that portal's _too_ big!" Sherman yelled, frantically. "The bigger a portal between dimensions is, the more unstable it is! And that one could suck this entire laboratory into it!"

"Well, you need not worry, because I'm only putting one item into it." Thunderstorm said. "Shadow! Enter!"

"I obey," The duplicate bowed before Thunderstorm.

He marched across the lab, and walked into the portal, disappearing in a flash of blue.

Thunderstorm then typed into the computer console, and shut the portal down.

The blue light emitting from it vanished.

"What are you doing?" Calvin demanded, raising an eyebrow. "You could have just used the hypercube to do that."

"Oh, but I'm not using the same dimension that _your_ hypercube uses," Thunderstorm said, dangerously. "I'm using a dimension with a _duplicating _property in it!"

"Duplicating?" Socrates asked. "You mean you're going to duplicate your Shadow duplicate?"

"Yes," Thunderstorm said. "Enough Shadows to take down the entire planet!"

He turned, and began typing into his computer console.

"You can't do that!" Calvin yelled. "Even if you could all those Shadow's could be destroyed the second the leave the portal!"

"You think so?" Thunderstorm asked, turning and facing Calvin.

Calvin paused.

"Uh... well... yeah.." He said.

"Not unless you have a really _really_ big portal!" He cackled.

Sherman eyes popped open.

"What are you..." He started.

"I'm going to release the Shadow duplicates by spreading the portal across the entire planet!" Thunderstorm declared. "The replicas will appear on every corner of the globe, and take down its government and people."

Sherman gasped.

"You can't!" He screamed.

"Oh, but I can!" Thunderstorm grinned.

"No, you don't understand!" Sherman yelled, jumping off Andy's shoulder, and onto the floor. "A portal that big could cause both our world and that world to collapse! Every living creature would die! The entire planet would be reduced to rocks in space!"

Thunderstorm stared at Sherman.

"Interdimensional portals _can _be stabilized, hamster," He said, crossing his arms. "You think I haven't thought this through?"

"You have to listen to me!" Sherman pleaded. "If you even _try_ to open the portal across the planet, everything dies! humans, plants, cats, dogs, everything!"

"You're overreacting," Thunderstorm said. "Is he always like this?"

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Andy nodded in unison.

"Besides, I don't even have a power source strong enough _to_ rip the portal open across the planet, yet." Thunderstorm yawned, his attention wandering.

_**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**_

Thunderstorm whirled around, and stared at his computer screen.

"Until, _NOW_, that is!" He screamed with delight, typing into his keyboard.

A picture of Brainstorm's space station appeared onscreen.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman gasped.

Thunderstorm grinned.

"Well, well," He said, rubbing his hands together. "Looks like Frank isn't as useless as I thought he was! He's completed his Space Station, now. Isn't that nice?"

The mad scientist typed more into his keyboard.

Subwindows popped up, and Thunderstorm examined them.

"And would you look at that?" He asked, grinning insanely. "It would appear that the power range of this station covers the entire planet."

He turned a grin onto the cell.

"That's a lot of power." He said, quietly.

"Thunderstorm," Sherman said, calmly. "Please listen to me. If you open that portal, you won't be _able_ to take over the Earth, because the Earth will be _gone!_"

"I think I know what I'm doing, hamster," Thunderstorm said, turning to Sherman. "Now, I have work to do,"

"You're insane!" Sherman yelled. "Nobody in their right mind would do this! The energy will destroy the Earth! WAIT!!"

Thunderstorm waved to Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman and walked out of the room.

There was a pause.

Then, suddenly, there was a sound of an engine revving up, and the wall opened up across from the exit.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman stared at it.

A black rocket was emerging from a small chamber, the engine roaring.

"Wow, this is guy is _obsessed_ with black." Socrates said.

The rocket roared forward, and shot straight out of the exit, leaving Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman alone in the cell.

The rocket blasted out into the middle of the snow, and shot off towards space.

There was a pause.

"We have to stop him..." Sherman said, his eyes squeezing shut.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Calvin's house, Rosalyn was having a strike of conscience, so she began fixing Calvin some dinner.

She walked up to Calvin's door and knocked, holding a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Calvin?" She called into the room. "I have some dinner for you. I want you to eat in your room, and out of my hair, got it?"

Rosalyn paused.

No reply came from the door.

"Calvin?" She asked.

She reached over, and opened the door.

She peeked inside.

Calvin, Hobbes, and several of Calvin's possessions were gone.

Rosalyn came into the room.

"Calvin where are you?" She demanded, putting the plate onto the desk.

She got down onto her knees, and lifted the bed sheet up, looking under Calvin's bed.

Then, she stood up, and walked over to the closet.

She opened the closet door and looked all throughout it.

"CALVIN!" She screamed, whipping around. "WHERE ARE YOU!!"

She looked all throughout the bedroom, and found Calvin nowhere.

"CALVIN!!" She shrieked. "YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN _SO_ MUCH TROUBLE WHEN YOUR PARENTS GET HOME!!"

Rosalyn then went on a searching rampage throughout the entire house, looking for Calvin in vain.

She screamed and yelled until she was hoarse, but still couldn't find him anywhere.

"Calvin, I'm going to tell your parents!" Rosalyn warned, scanning the living room for the seventh time. "They're going to be _so_ angry when they find out that you..."

Just then, lights shown through the window in the living room, throwing shadows throughout the room.

Rosalyn looked outside.

Mom and Dad were pulling up into the driveway.

Rosalyn's heart nearly stopped.

"CALVIN!" She called. "If you come out, I'll let you watch the TV! You can eat all the cookies and cake you want! PLEASE!! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

Just then, the doorknob rattled, and Mom and Dad walked into the house.

Rosalyn froze.

"Hello, Rosalyn," Dad said, taking off his coat. "How was Calvin?"

Rosalyn opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

Mom and Dad stared at her.

"Uh, Rosalyn?" Mom asked.

"Uhh... I uh... he... Calvin... I didn't..." Rosalyn stuttered.

"Rosalyn, is everything alright?" Dad asked. "Where's Calvin?"

"He's... I... he didn't... umm..." Rosalyn paused.

Then, she heaved a deep sigh.

"I can't find him," She said, rubbing her temple.

Mom and Dad's eyes popped open.

"What do you mean you can't find him?" Mom demanded.

"I sent him up to his room, and he just vanished." Rosalyn sighed.

"You _lost_ him?!" Mom demanded. "How could you loose a six year old hurricane like Calvin?!"

"Dear, just relax," Dad said, trying to calm Mom down. "He probably snuck out and went to Andy's house."

Mom looked back and forth between Dad and Rosalyn.

"Do you think so?" She started.

"Sure, Calvin's always doing that!" Dad said. "Here, I'll just call Andy's parents up, and we'll see if he's there."

"OK...OK..." Mom gasped, trying to calm down.

Dad walked past Rosalyn, and into the kitchen.

He picked up the phone and started dialing.

Then, he held the phone to his ear and waited.

"Hello?" He asked. "Yes, this is Calvin's parents down the street. Is this Andy's father? Ah, yes, hello. Is your son there, by any chance?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh..." Dad said, finally. "He is? OK. No, everything's fine. I was just... what? Oh. OK, well thank you. Mmm-hmm. Goodbye."

Dad hung the phone up, silently, and stared off into space for a moment.

There was a pause.

"What is it?" Mom asked.

Dad snapped back into reality, and looked at Mom.

"Andy isn't at home," He said, finally. "His father said he just disappeared."

There was another pause.

Mom nodded her head.

"Call the police," She said, crossing her arms.

"Now dear, isn't that a little drastic to..."

"THE POLICE!" Mom shouted. "Andy's house is the only place that Calvin would go to at this time of night. If he's not there, then there's something wrong!"

Rosalyn looked back and forth between Mom and Dad nervously.

Dad nodded his head, and picked the phone up, again.

He dialed some numbers, and waited.

"Hello, police?" He asked into the speaker. "Yes, I'd like to report a missing person."

There was a moment of silence.

Dad sighed.

"Yes, his name _is_ Calvin." He said.

It was at that point that Rosalyn just left. She didn't ask for any pay or anything, she just left.

She decided that the sooner she got out of the house, the better.


	34. Thunderstorm P4

_Part four written by garfieldodie_

Dr Thunderstorm leaned back and admired his handiwork. He had worked for approximately five hours to get this going. Everything had been fixed from the charred mess it was a few days ago.

"Yes!!" he cried. "Success! Now we have absolute threat! Excellent! The place can actually do some evil-like damage now! Every glitch is finally repaired! The gamma-rays are fully-loaded, the laser-cannons are set, the navicomp is functional, and the cappuccino machine has bendy straws! I'M IN THE GROOVE AGAIN!"

Then Thunderstorm ran over to the computer and began typing things in. Numbers and graphics flashed across the screen as he read all the info. He began to grin a wide grin as he got the information he needed.

"Yes, this is good…," he grinned. "_Very_ good."

Finally, he clicked the mouse and activated the printer.

**_ZZZT! ZOOT! ZZZT! ZOOT! ZZZT! ZOOT!_**

A piece of paper exited the printer, and Thunderstorm promptly picked it up and read it over.

"According to this, the Shadow duplicate will require a full hour to duplicate enough Shadow clones for the taking over of Earth," he said. "Well then, an hour it is! An hour! A full hour of waiting! Yes!"

There was a pause.

"What do I do for an hour?"

* * *

Calvin was now consulting the MTM.

"Okay, MTM, we're trapped in this force fielded prison with a maniac trying to open the universe next door and it could mean that both our worlds would collapse. We need options fast."

"What do you want, the long or the short version?" MTM asked.

Calvin paused. He decided he should play it safe.

"Ooh, long," he said.

"You're finished."

There was a pause.

"What's the short version?" asked Socrates.

"Bye."

Hobbes groaned.

"How about an escape plan that could delay our being finished?" Sherman suggested.

MTM paused.

"Well, I'll need a scan of this force field," he said at last.

Calvin nodded and aimed the MTM upwards. A green ray flashed from the tip of the CD player briefly, going around the force field. Then it zipped back into it.

"Processing…," MTM said.

Hobbes groaned again.

"Do you have to do that every time we need something from you?" he snapped.

"It takes time, this," MTM said indignantly. "If I didn't process these things, who knows where we'd end up?"

"_I _do! We'd be getting things done a lot quicker!"

"No, we'd be lying dead in ditch, broken and bleeding. I'll have you know that I have to operate carefully, or we'll all be dead!"

Hobbes shook his head.

"Fine, fine, whatever," he grumbled.

There was a pause.

"Processing…," MTM said again.

Hobbes rolled his eyes while the others snickered at him.

"Processing… Processing… Done."

"Well?" Calvin asked.

"The force field prevents any teleportation," MTM said. "It's too thick for the particles to get through it."

"Option 2?"

"Well, the lasers won't be able to penetrate either because, again, it's too thick."

"Anything else?"

"Well, we could try using shockwaves to break it down. You got anything like that?"

Calvin groaned.

"I don't think so. All the other inventions are trapped in the hypercube. All we have is the Transmogrifier gun, and I don't think it could make shockwaves."

Andy's eyes lit up.

"Wait, I still have the Scream Horn!" he said, pulling it out of his pocket.

"Will it work, MTM?" asked Sherman.

"Eh, we can give it a go," MTM replied.

Calvin pointed to Andy, who nodded. Andy activated it.

**_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!_**

Everyone covered their ears.

The shockwaves emitted from the Scream Horn and struck the force field.

Electricity crackled and the field flashed green light.

After a few seconds, the force field began to crack. Then after a while, it shattered.

**_CRASH! ZZAP! BAM!_**

Everyone was knocked over as the force field finally gave out.

MTM watched it fly.

"Got it," he said. "It's down."

Calvin looked up.

"Wow," he said. "Nice work, Andy."

"Uh-huh," Andy replied, getting off the floor.

Calvin ran over and gathered away all his inventions.

"Got 'em!" he cheered triumphantly. "MTM, you put them in _your_ hypercube."

"Check."

MTM opened up a little door on his edge, and all the inventions were swiped back inside.

"Alright," Calvin said. "What now?"

"Get the box," Sherman said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, right."

Calvin ran over to the box, which had remained untouched since their arrival.

"All aboard!" he said, climbing in.

The others climbed in with him.

"Now what do we do?" asked Andy.

"We've got to get to Yellowstone National Park and save Dr Brainstorm and Jack," Calvin said.

"Why?" Hobbes asked.

Everyone glared at him.

"Why do you guys always give me that look?" he demanded.

"You're sniveling cowardly little weasel, you know that?" Calvin snorted.

"Well, I like to try," Hobbes said proudly.

The others snorted.

Calvin revved the box up and flew towards the exit.

* * *

Back at Yellowstone, Dr Brainstorm was frantically running around the lab, setting things up and setting programs into the computers.

Jack was sipping a soda and leaning against the wall.

"WE'VE GOTTA HURRY, JACK!" he shouted. "WE MUST PREPARE! _TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! **HIDE THE CREAMED SPINACH!**_"

"What are you doing?" Jack sighed at last.

Brainstorm finally stopped running long enough to glare at him.

"DON'T YOU EVER PAY ATTENTION?! SHADOW IS COMING _HERE_! I AM IN NO MOOD TO PUT UP WITH HIS EVIL ROBOTIC WAYS!! _WE MUST **PREPARE** FOR THE ATTACK!!_"

And he resumed running.

Jack sighed.

"Well, I have an idea on how to fix that," he said.

"WHAT?!" Brainstorm demanded.

"How about…we _leave_ Yellowstone?"

"Huh?"

"Shadow's orders were to come to Yellowstone and destroy us. If we go elsewhere, he's gonna get confused and will have to go back to Thunderstorm. That'll buy us a little more time at least."

"NEVER!!"

Jack shrugged. "Should've guessed," he sighed. "Might I ask why?"

"Yes, I suppose you might!"

There was a pause.

Jack groaned.

"Why?!" he demanded.

"This lab is my baby! I can't lose it without a fight! EVERY CAPTAIN GOES DOWN WITH HIS SHIP!"

"One small problem with that," Jack said.

"Huh? What's that?!"

"You're not a captain. You're an idiot scientist."

Brainstorm finally stopped moving. He seemed in a trance almost.

Jack didn't notice this for a minute, but then when he did, he got confused.

"Uh…Frank?" he asked.

But Dr Brainstorm didn't react this time. Instead, he began typing in more commands to the computer.

Jack stared in surprise at him.

Deciding it was time he did something useful, he walked over to the control panel. He pressed a button.

The lights dimmed for a brief moment, and distant whirring sound was heard.

Dr Brainstorm looked up in surprise.

"What'd you do?" he demanded.

"I initiated the force field around the lab," Jack responded. "I'm hoping it'll keep Shadow from entering."

Dr Brainstorm stared at him, and then cracked a small grin.

"Thanks, Jack," he said at last.

"Hey, I just did it so we wouldn't have to take chances with those inventions of yours. By the time you remembered how to work the Servant Ray, we'd probably be dead."

"OH, SHUT UP!" Brainstorm shouted, reverting back to his old self. "WHAT DO _YOU_ KNOW OF INVENTING?!"

Jack rolled his eyes and resumed leaning.

* * *

Up above, people were walking around Yellowstone Park. They were enjoying their day and talking about nonsense.

Just then, up above, a giant ball came down out of the sky.

Everyone watched it come down.

Suddenly, it hit the ground with a crash.

**_WHAM!!_**

Everyone backed away from it.

Smoke billowed everywhere from the crater created.

People began to advance towards it.

Suddenly, a pair of blue lights appeared through the smoke.

Everyone gasped.

Shadow emerged from the smoke, glaring at them.

"Data required," he said. "The locations of Dr Franklin Brainstorm and Jack Robot must be made known to me."

There was a pause.

Then, seeing as how they finally noticed something happen, they immediately went into running and screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" they screamed.

Shadow growled in fury at the incompetence, and he promptly started terrorizing them even more.

"Insufficient data!" he shouted. "BRING ME THE SCIENTIST AND THE ROBOT!!"

People were too busy shouting and screaming to tell him they had no idea what he was talking about.

Shadow ran around like a mad gorilla, clawing at people and growling.

Finally, he stopped acting like an idiot and started using his sensors.

After a few seconds, his eyes flashed blue.

"Force field detected," he said. "Dr Brainstorm has been located."

Shadow ran as fast as he could over towards Old Faithful and the giant boulder. Immediately, he got down on his hands and knees and started digging away frantically through the dirt. It flew everywhere.

Tourists and tour guides ran away from the flying dirt.

* * *

Inside the lab, Dr Brainstorm was checking on a few things, until he saw a light flashing on the console.

"Uh…Jack?"

"Hmm?" Jack asked, not looking up from his magazine.

"What's the purple light mean?"

Jack managed to look up and study the flashing light.

"Uh-oh," he said, staring at it.

"What? What's it mean?! TELL ME!"

"It means someone is approaching us without using the elevator in the boulder," Jack said, getting up and walking over.

Dr Brainstorm gulped.

"Does that mean…?"

"Shadow's found us? Yes, it does."

There was a pause.

"Jack, prepare to fight," Dr Brainstorm finally said bravely.

"Check."

Jack walked back over to the chair and started reading his magazine again.

Dr Brainstorm squinted his eyes shut and waited for the hurricane that would hit. He hoped the force field would hold.

* * *

Shadow was now digging through a bunch of rocks. He was getting closer to his target. Then he dug his way over towards the metal part of the lab. He started to tear through it with his claws.

Finally, he broke through and saw the lab sitting inside. He dropped down towards it, only to land on top of the force field. Growling angrily, he managed to tear through it.

* * *

Inside, the yellow light started flashing.

"What's _this_ one mean?!" Brainstorm cried.

"I think it means the force field has been destroyed," said Jack, getting up again. "I'll hide in my room, thank you."

Jack walked out of the main room and into a bedroom.

Dr Brainstorm shook his head.

"Very well," he muttered to himself. "Time to do battle."

But as he was reaching into the pocket of the lab coat…

**_CRASH!_**

…a hole appeared in the ceiling of the lab, through which Shadow arrived. He landed on the floor on his feet.

"Dr Brainstorm," he said darkly.

"Shadow," Dr Brainstorm replied.

"Prepare to die!"

Shadow immediately pounced at him.

Acting quickly, Dr Brainstorm ducked down out of the way. Shadow sailed over him and crashed hard into the control panel, causing it to dent and let sparks fly.

Brainstorm stared at it.

Shadow managed to get to his feet and bare his claws.

Brainstorm finished reaching into his lab coat pocket, and he pulled out the Servant Ray.

"Servant Ray!" he ordered. "Attack Shadow!"

There was a pause.

"Servant Ray! _DO NOT_ attack Shadow!" he said, slightly louder.

**_BRZAP!_**

A shot of electricity flew from the tip of the gun and knocked down a charging Shadow.

Shadow was picked up and thrown into workbench where the bad inventions were made.

**_CRASH!_**

Shadow quickly got back to his feet, and he promptly charged towards Brainstorm again. Brainstorm quickly turned and ran from him.

"EAT LASER, ROBOT!" he shouted, aiming the Servant Ray back over his shoulder.

**_BRZAP! BRZAP!_**

Both blasts missed Shadow, and they destroyed the kitchen instead.

"Destroy!" Shadow shouted.

Dr Brainstorm growled.

"At least _Jack_ can talk right!" he yelled.

Shadow growled and jumped up and attempted to land on Brainstorm.

Somehow expecting this, Dr Brainstorm was able to duck out of the way, and Shadow sailed right over him and landed in the bathroom, promptly landed in the closet. Several things fell down on him.

**_CRASH! BAP! SPLUT!_**

Cleaning himself off, Shadow managed to get back to his feet and glare angrily at Brainstorm.

"Attack!" he cried.

He started to charge again, his time baring his sharp teeth.

Dr Brainstorm fired another blast with the Servant Ray.

**_BRZAP!_**

The blast missed Shadow again, so Dr Brainstorm had to turn and run for a while.

Quickly, Shadow managed to jump up again, and this time, he managed to land on Brainstorm.

**_WHUMP!_**

"OW!" Brainstorm shouted. "GET OFF OF ME, YOU JERK OF A ROBOT!"

Shadow wrenched the Servant Ray out of his hand, and he threw it across the lab.

Brainstorm stared at it as it landed, and then he stared at Shadow, who rolled him over and pinned him.

Shadow grinned sinisterly and raised his claws up above him to finish him off.

"…That could've gone better," Brainstorm muttered.

"Affirmative," Shadow grinned.

But before he could bring his claws down, there was a rumbling sound.

It was enough to shake everything, including Shadow, who finally fell off of Brainstorm. Brainstorm tried to get up, but the vibrations were too much.

Suddenly, the hole that Shadow had arrived through opened up wider.

A cardboard box arrived through it, with Calvin steering at the front and Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman in the back.

"Take this, Robot Scum!" Calvin shouted. He pulled out the MTM. "FIRE AT SHADOW!"

"Right," MTM replied.

**_ZZAP!_**

A bolt of lightning struck Shadow, knocking him over.

"Ouch!" he shouted.

Immediately, he went into attack mode, but before he could, Andy pulled the Scream Horn out again.

"Take _this_ as well!" he announced.

Everyone covered their ears.

Shadow had no way to protect himself, however.

**_SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!_**

The shockwaves flew outwards, and Shadow was promptly knocked over.

This went on for a few moments before finally, Shadow felt himself short-circuiting.

Andy finally turned off the Scream Horn.

Shadow vibrated slightly, and a few sparks flew from his head.

"Intense shriek has corrupted files," Shadow announced. "Recommendation: return to lab and reroute circuits."

Shadow quickly ran up the wall and onto the ceiling, where he promptly disappeared through the hole.

Brainstorm looked around his lab.

"Great," he moaned. "It's a mess! JACK! GET OUT HERE AND CLEAN THIS UP!"

The door finally opened, and Jack came out.

"Ah, I see you needed help after all," he commented.

"I DID NOT!" Brainstorm bellowed. "I was doing just fine, and they showed up to watch. Nothing more!"

"Uh-huh," Jack said, rolling his eyes.

Everyone sighed.

"Well, that's done," said Socrates. "Now what?"

"WELL, ISN'T IT OBVIOUS?!" Brainstorm shouted. "I MUST DEFEAT THUNDERSTORM AND SHADOW! My first order of business is to find out what their plan is!"

"_We _know," said Calvin.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"OH, _THAT'S _TYPICAL! _I NEVER GET A BREAK AROUND HERE_!"

"Do you want us to help you?" Calvin asked.

"NO!"

There was a pause.

Hobbes suddenly clasped his hands together.

"Well, there you have it! He said no. Not our problem. Goodbye!" he said, walking away.

Socrates promptly grabbed him by the tail to keep him from leaving.

"Come on, Dr Brainstorm," Calvin sighed. "We all know how this goes. You have a problem, we offer help, you turn it down, you get into trouble, we have to come and bail you out, so on and so on."

"That's _never _happened!" Brainstorm snorted, looking away.

"What about when Jack turned evil?" Sherman asked.

"Jack was evil?" asked Socrates. "How come nobody told me?"

Jack stood behind Brainstorm.

"Come on, Frank, let 'em help. You're going to need any help you can get. Thunderstorm and Shadow won't be defeated so easily," he said.

There was a pause.

Dr Brainstorm seemed to be in deep thought.

Finally, he turned a faced Jack.

"**_DR BRAINSTORM!_**" he shouted furiously.

Everyone groaned.

Dr Brainstorm paused briefly.

"…And I accept your offer," he said at last, turning to Calvin.

Calvin grinned.

"Nice," he said. "It takes a big idiot to admit his idiocy."

"Don't push it."

Jack handed Dr Brainstorm his Servant Ray, who put it in his pocket.

"What's Thunderstorm's plan?" Jack asked.

Calvin motioned for Sherman to speak.

Sherman crawled onto Andy's head.

"Dr Thunderstorm has combined Calvin's hypercube and another machine to open a dimension up that has duplicating abilities. He has placed a duplicate of Shadow inside of it, and he plans to make enough Shadows to take over the world. Unfortunately, he has made the portal far too large, and he's going to destroy everything in both dimensions unless we can destroy the place he's making everything from."

"Where's that?" asked Jack.

"The space station."

Dr Brainstorm's eyes bugged open.

"WHAT?!" he shouted. "WHY THAT FILTHY MOOCHER! HE'S TAKING MY STATION! I WANT HIM ELIMINATED!"

"Right," said Sherman. "There's only one way to do that. We have to destroy the space station."

"WHAT, AGAIN?!" Brainstorm shouted. "NO! I WON'T ALLOW IT! _I SPENT FIVE YEARS ON THAT THING!_"

"Look, Thunderstorm is planning everything in your space station. It's the only place to stop him. If you want to be rid of him, destroying your space station is the best place to do it."

Dr Brainstorm looked angrier than ever.

"…Fine," he muttered angrily, crossing his arms.

"How can we destroy it?" Andy asked.

"We could blast it from here, I suppose," said Jack. "We have that laser that you've been meaning to use. We could destroy it with that."

Dr Brainstorm thought for a moment.

"It could work, I suppose," he said.

"Let's see it," said Calvin.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack led them to the giant laser.

"Could it do it?" asked Sherman.

"You bet," said Jack. "It has just enough power to destroy it."

"Good," said Calvin. "Let's get it going."

Dr Brainstorm, Jack and Sherman promptly began to work on the giant ray gun. Jack pressed the ON button, and it whirred into life. Dr Brainstorm started typing commands into a keyboard, allowing a door to open, revealing the night sky. The tip of the gun extended to through the opening.

Sherman began working at a special screen.

"I need the coordinates of the space station," he said.

Calvin promptly aimed the MTM at the sky.

"Processing," MTM said.

Hobbes groaned.

"Well?" Calvin asked.

"823AA by 325JJ," MTM announced.

Sherman immediately started typing into the computer. Numbers flashed across the screen as he worked hard.

"Coordinates set," he announced. "Target locked."

"FIRE AT WILL!" Dr Brainstorm shouted.

Jack went to press the button, but before he could…

**_FOOM!_**

Everyone stopped moving.

"What happened?" asked Hobbes.

"Power failure!" Calvin cried.

"JACK, WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Dr Brainstorm shouted. "ACTIVATE THE BACKUP POWER!"

"Uh-huh."

There was a pause.

CLICK!

**_FWOOM!_**

The lights came back on.

"How'd that happen?" Andy asked.

"It must've been Thunderstorm," said Brainstorm grimly. "He must've known what we were doing and caused another world wide blackout."

"Bad news," said Jack, looking the laser over. "The backup power isn't enough to power up the laser. We can't get it from here."

"Figures," Socrates sighed. "Now what?"

Sherman looked up at the sky.

"Dr Thunderstorm could open the portal at any minute," he said nervously. "We need to get up there and stop him."

"How do we do that?" asked Andy.

Calvin immediately pulled out MTM.

"MTM, warm up the Teleporter," he ordered. "We've got a big delivery to make."

"You know, you should really start recharging my batteries once in a while," MTM replied.

"If you don't get up there now, there won't _be_ a once in a while!"

"Fine, fine."

Everyone gathered around Calvin.

**_BRZAP!_**

They were all teleported up to the space station.


	35. Thunderstorm P5

_Part five written by Swing123_

* * *

_**BRAZAP!!**_

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman all looked around.

They had teleported into a dark enclosed room in Brainstorm's space station.

Calvin grinned.

"Good job, MTM, you just teleported us into space!" He chuckled, patting the CD player. "I didn't think you were going to be able to do it!"

"Uh huh," MTM said. "Just keep in mind that I don't have unlimited battery power,"

Calvin rolled his eyes, and turned to Brainstorm.

"Alright, Frank," He hissed. "Where exactly _are_ we in the station?"

"_Dr Brainstorm!_" Brainstorm hissed back. "And I think we're in the storage compartment just right next to the main control room."

There was a pause.

"Wait, you mean we're in a closet?" Socrates asked.

Brainstorm nodded.

"How do you know?" Andy whispered.

Suddenly, the door in front of the seven swung wide open.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Brainstorm and Jack all turned, and stared.

Dr Thunderstorm was standing in the main control room, staring blankly at the seven people who had suddenly appeared in the closet.

There was a small pause.

"Uh, why are you in the closet?" He asked, calmly.

There was another pause.

Then, Calvin whipped out his Transmogrifier Gun.

"EAT LASER, YOU... Thunder...freak!" He said, beginning to run out of names.

He fired the Transmogrifier Gun.

Thunderstorm leapt from the way, and the laser struck the console beneath the large window.

Thunderstorm rolled across the ground, and into the wall.

"OOF!" He grunted, hitting his head.

Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Brainstorm and Jack all stared at Calvin.

Calvin glared at them.

"What?" He demanded.

"Thunderfreak?" Hobbes inquired.

"Well, you come up with a clever name on such short notice!" Calvin said, defensively.

"How about Greasestorm?" Jack suggested.

Calvin glared at them.

"Whatever, just go attack him."

Calvin tucked the Transmogrifier away, and held the MTM at the ready as he raced out of the closet.

"_SCREEEECH!!_" Shadow screamed, wildly, throwing a handful of claws at Calvin.

"EEK!" Calvin shouted, jumping back at Shadow's sudden appearance.

Thunderstorm was standing over Shadow, grinning insanely.

"Shadow! Kill them!!" He ordered, jabbing a finger at Calvin and Hobbes.

The lights in Shadow's eyes flickered, slightly, then he held his hands up.

The laser cannons installed in his palms began glowing bright red, then, two blasts of fire exploded out of each of them.

"AAAUGH!" Calvin screamed, pushing a button on the MTM.

A green transparent dome appeared around he and Hobbes, and the fire went around it.

Brainstorm leaped up just then, and held his Servant Ray up.

"SERVANT RAY, DON'T DEFEAT SHADOW!!" He ordered, finally remembering how to work the thing.

_**BRAZAP!**_

An explosion of red shot from the Servant Ray and headed straight for Shadow.

Shadow's head whipped around.

He opened his mouth up wide, and took a breath in.

"_**SCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!**_" He screeched, mimicking the Scream Horn.

"YEEEEUGH!!" Brainstorm yelled, the shockwaves throwing him back, and short-circuiting the Servant Ray.

Shadow then whipped back around to Calvin and Hobbes, who were now joined by Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

"KILL!" He screeched, leaping through the air towards them.

"Not in the mood, I'm afraid!" Calvin growled, pushing another button on the MTM.

_**BOOM!!**_

Electricity blasted out of the tip of the MTM, engulfing Shadow.

The robot went tumbling backwards into the wall.

Not missing a beat, he leaped to his feet, again, and held his claws out in front of him, which began glowing with electricity.

He slowly clutched his fists, and twisted his claws around in a circle.

A loud grinding sound from inside the wall was accompanied with Shadow's hand movements.

Suddenly, multicolored wires exploded from the wall, and grabbed Socrates, Andy and Sherman.

"HEY!!" Socrates screamed, as the wires confined them to the wall. "THAT'S NO FAIR!!"

An evil grin spread across Shadow's face, and he leaped forward to Calvin and Hobbes, again.

Suddenly, Jack stepped into Shadow's way.

Shadow came screeching to a stop in front of his fellow robot.

His eyes narrowed, and his razor sharp teeth gritted.

"Move!" He ordered.

Jack crossed his arms.

"MOVE!!" Shadow repeated, angrily.

He shot off towards the right, attempting to get around Jack.

Jack stepped off to the right, and blocked him.

Shadow bolted over to left, and continued to try and get to Calvin and Hobbes.

Jack stepped into the way.

Shadow was near frantic as he looked back and forth between Jack and Calvin and Hobbes.

"Uh, Jack, what are you doing?" Hobbes hissed.

"His orders are to kill us," Jack yawned. "He can't kill me because I'm not alive. I'm not involved in his orders."

Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.

"Man, talk about loopholes." Calvin said.

Shadow's eyes cut back and forth.

"Organic life form, detected. Robot, boy, tiger." He said, to himself. "All potential targets. "

"Of course, I've forgotten that Shadow is totally insane," Jack sighed.

Shadow slashed his claws forward, cutting Jack right in half.

"Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark," Jack groaned.

The robot collapsed, and Shadow turned a grin onto Calvin and Hobbes.

However, Jack's distraction was enough for Calvin to get the MTM at the ready.

_**BOOM!!**_

Shadow went soaring back in the other direction, and into the wall, he then collapsed on the ground, and lay motionless.

While Jack began initiating his auto-repair feature, Calvin ran forward with the MTM.

"MTM, activate hypercube!" Calvin ordered.

"Whatever," MTM sighed.

Calvin rushed up, and prepared to absorb Shadow into the CD player.

Suddenly, right at the last second, the robot's head shot up.

Calvin froze.

"All current tactics failed." Shadow said, silently. "Initiating last resort robo-launcher."

Calvin blinked.

"Oops," He said.

Suddenly, Shadow's mouth burst open, and over a hundred small insect-like robots exploded from his mouth.

"AAAUGH!!" Calvin screamed, pushing a button on the MTM.

A force field appeared around he and the robots simply bounced right off.

"HOBBES!! HELP!!" Calvin screamed, whipping around.

Hobbes had vanished.

Of course.

The locust-robots surrounded the green dome, and began attacking it nonstop.

"Force field failing," MTM said. "Decreased power by 91 percent."

Calvin looked around in horror.

"Use the energy from the station!" He ordered. "Don't let those things...!!"

Suddenly, the force field vanished.

"Oops, sorry," MTM said.

Calvin's eyes slammed shut.

The robots attacked Calvin, driving him to the ground.

"AAAAUGH!!" Calvin screamed, sending wild bolts of lightning left and right trying to avert them.

Thunderstorm, who had been watching quietly in corner, suddenly began chuckling.

"Well, well," He laughed. "Looks like you've failed yet again. I guess I can just classify this as the 'mildly annoying save the Earth attempt'. Shadow confine him. And get the tiger."

Shadow stood up, and the locust / robots all flew back into his mouth.

He marched over to Calvin, and grabbed him by the shirt collar.

He then drug him over to the closet, and ripped the door off.

Hobbes was cowering in the corner, shivering.

Shadow grabbed Hobbes by the scruff of the neck, and carried them over to Brainstorm and Jack, who were sitting tied up on the floor next to Socrates, Andy and Sherman, still being held against the wall by the wires.

"Well," Thunderstorm said, cracking his knuckles. "That's done. Let's get down to business."

He turned to the console before him.

He began typing furiously.

"Interdimensional energy stored." A cool robotic voice said, suddenly. "World domination in thirty seconds."

Sherman's eyes popped open.

"WHAT?!" He gasped.

Thunderstorm grinned, madly, and pulled a lever down.

"Thunderstorm, wait!" Sherman pleaded. "Don't do it!"

The mad scientist ignored Sherman, and pulled another lever down.

The engines around the station began humming.

"Thunderstorm, the world will be destroyed! _You can't do this!!_" Sherman screamed, struggling against the wires.

"Shut up," Thunderstorm ordered. "I know what I'm doing."

"World domination in fifteen seconds." The computer said.

Sherman was near panicking.

"Thunderstorm! PLEASE! Cancel the order! You can't stabilize a portal that big! _PLEASE!!_"

"World domination in five... four... three... two... one..."

Sherman's eyes squeezed shut, and his head fell to his chest.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Brainstorm, Jack, Thunderstorm and Shadow all stared out at the planet.

There was a pause, in which nothing happened.

Then, suddenly, the entire Earth began glowing bright purple, and large streaks of electricity bolted across it.

A wide, evil, insane grin spread across Thunderstorm's face.

"Observe, gentlemen," He said, turning to his prisoners. "You're witnessing _history!_"

Calvin and Hobbes gulped, and turned to the window.

* * *

Mom was pacing the house, nervously.

"I can't believe this," She groaned. "There's been another blackout, and Calvin is nowhere in sight!"

Dad, who was sitting on the couch, holding a candle, rolled his eyes around.

"Why do I have the feeling _he's_ behind this?" He mumbled.

"Where could Calvin have gone at this time of night?!" Mom demanded. "And why are we just sitting here, when we could be out looking for him!"

"Dear, the police said they'd take care of it," Dad said, reassuringly. "Just try to relax for a while."

"How can I relax when Calvin is out there, totally alone, in the _dead of night?!_" Mom demanded, frantically.

Suddenly, beams of light began shining through the window.

Mom and Dad looked around.

The sun had suddenly appeared over the horizon, and was bringing daylight.

There was a small pause.

"Dear, what time is it?" Mom asked.

Dad checked his watch.

"Uh, it's midnight," He said, quietly.

There was a moment of silence.

_**BRAZAP!!**_

Mom and Dad spun around.

A tall, silver robot had just appeared in the middle of the livingroom.

He had claws, glowing white eyes, and razor sharp teeth.

"AAUGH!" Mom and Dad yelled, reeling back.

The Shadow duplicate whipped around, as if just noticing Mom and Dad.

"Sensors confirm DNA match." It said, blandly. "You are affiliated with Calvin and Hobbes."

Mom and Dad exchanged glances.

"Uhhh... Well.." Dad began.

Shadow advanced over Mom and Dad.

"You will follow me," He growled, dangerously.

Mom and Dad gulped and nodded.

* * *

Meanwhile, on another part of America, Sheila and Jacqueline were in Sheila's lab.

Both of them were totally unaware of Thunderstorm and Shadow's return, but they still had suffered the blackout.

"Okay," Jacqueline sighed, walking back into the main lab with a wrench. "I think I got the backup power on, now."

"GOOD!!" Sheila screeched. "NOW ENGAGE IT!!"

Jacqueline rolled her eyes, and flipped a switch on the console.

_KA-COOM!!_

The lights in the lab came on, revealing several inventions littering the floor.

"EXCELLENT!!" Sheila screamed. "NOW I CAN CONTINUE TRYING TO FIND OUT HOW I'M GOING TO KILL THE ALIEN BOY!!"

"Okay, Sheila," Jacqueline said, checking her watch. "I'll be in the gym if you need me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Sheila said, waving the robot off.

Jacqueline jogged off, leaving Sheila alone in the lab.

Sheila began typing into her computer.

"Now, if I can trap the alien boy in his room by boarding up the windows and doors when he's asleep, then all I'd have to do is sit back and wait for him to perish!!"

Totally not seeing any flaws in this idea, Sheila, printed the idea out, and began hopping around, insanely.

"YES! I'M A GENIUS!! THE ALIEN BOY WILL BE DEFEATED YET!!" She cheered.

_**BRAZAP!! BRAZAP! BRAZAP!**_

Sheila whipped around.

Three Shadows had suddenly appeared in the lab, glaring dangerously at her.

Sheila stared at them.

"Uuh... Jacqueline?" She called.

"Yes?" Jacqueline called from another room.

"We have some visitors!" Sheila called back.

There was a pause.

"They're duplicates of Dr Thunderstorm's robot, Shadow, right?" Jacqueline asked.

Sheila glared at the other room.

"JACQUELINE! I DEMAND THAT YOU TAKE THAT BACK!! AND HOW DARE YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT THESE THINGS WERE BEFORE I DID?!" She shouted.

Jacqueline sighed.

* * *

Susie was walking down the sidewalk towards Calvin's house, to try and figure out why there was twelve o'clock noon sunlight shining down at twelve o'clock midnight.

_**BRAZAP!!**_

Suddenly, a duplicate of Shadow appeared right in front of her.

"AAUGH!!" She screamed, jumping back.

The robot growled, and made a dive for her.

* * *

Moe was in his bed. His shades were drawn, and he was attempting to ignore the sunlight streaming in and sleep.

_**BRAZAP!! BRAZAP!!**_

Moe's eyes popped open.

There were a pair of Shadows standing above him, growling dangerously.

"HEY!!" Moe shouted, in surprise, as the robots made a grab for him.

* * *

Holographic Retro was observing the odd change in daylight from a forest off from Calvin's town.

"This is really strange," He said, his golden "H" reflecting some of the sunlight. "Here I am trying to recharge for the night, and my light bee just activates for no reason whatsoever. This isn't daytime!"

He walked through the forest, looking around, silently.

Just then...

_**BRAZAP!!**_

Retro whipped around.

There was a Shadow humped over in front of one of the trees, glaring ahead with his claws held out in front of him.

"WHOA!" Retro yelled, backing up. "Who are you?!"

The robot whipped around.

"_**SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!**_" It shouted holding its claws up.

Suddenly, Retro's hologram began flickering.

"Hey! What are you doing?" He demanded. "Don't do that! I need that! HELP!!"

Suddenly, Retro's light bee absorbed his hologram, and bolted forward into Shadow's claws.

Shadow gripped the marble-like object, and ran off with it.

* * *

All across the Earth duplicates of Shadow were appearing out of thin air.

Africa, England, America, Canada, Japan, China, everywhere you went there was an army of killer robots.

Several Shadows appeared in front of the Eiffel Tower, and lined up perfectly.

They began marching down the down the streets, with people panicking, and trying to get away from them.

The camera pans out of the Earth, as several million Shadows appeared on every corner of the globe.

Thunderstorm stood in the space station, cackling insanely.

"The world is mine!" He laughed. "I am the ultimate ruler of the planet!!"

"That's great, Thunderstorm, now close the portal!" Sherman said, trying to remain calm.

Thunderstorm whipped around.

"Why would I do that?" He grinned, raising his eyebrows. "There's an infinite number of Shadows in that dimension! Just _think_ of the possibilities if I could get even more out onto the Earth!"

"Thunderstorm, look at the Earth!" Sherman ordered.

Thunderstorm turned to the window.

The planet was still glowing purple, only now, it was spinning a lot faster that usual.

"The world is already starting to collapse!" The hamster said. "The day and night have been cut totally in half! A day on that planet lasts only twelve hours, right now! The planet is going to spin faster and faster, until it explodes! Until _both_ worlds explode! _YOU HAVE TO CLOSE THE PORTAL, NOW!!_"

"Uh, Thunderstorm, I don't know if this helps, but I've grown quite fond of the Earth, and it would be nice to be able to keep it," Socrates said.

Thunderstorm glared at them.

"I am _not_ closing the portal," He announced. "And the Earth is _not_ going to explode."

"THUNDERSTORM!! LISTEN TO ME!!" Sherman shouted.

"Enough!" Thunderstorm ordered. "The portal is going to be stabilized. Right now, I'd like to see how I'm doing back on Earth. Shadow, come here."

Shadow dropped Calvin and Hobbes on the ground, and walked over to Thunderstorm.

Calvin looked back and forth between Hobbes and Shadow, and hissed, "Don't worry, I have an idea,"

Hobbes looked at him unsurely.

Calvin took the Transmogrifier Gun, and stuck it inside his spiky, yellow hair, concealing it.

Thunderstorm turned back to Calvin, Hobbes and the gang. He was holding a small black device with a red button.

"Let's see if I'm ultimate ruler of the planet, yet." He said, holding the device up.

_**BRAZAP!!**_

There was a blast of electricity, and everyone vanished from the space station.

_**BRAZAP!!**_

Thunderstorm and Shadow reappeared back down on Earth.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Brainstorm and Jack had all been teleported into a large cage.

In front of Thunderstorm, Shadow, and Calvin and the gang was a huge glass chamber with a control panel attached to it.

Calvin and Hobbes gasped.

Everyone Calvin knew was trapped inside it.

Mom, Dad, Susie, Moe, Miss Wormwood, Rosalyn, Holographic Retro, Candace, everyone.

"What are you doing?!" Calvin demanded.

"I'm kidnapping everyone you've ever met!" Thunderstorm cackled. "I'm going to make you pay for what you did to me, by imprisoning everyone you've ever come in contact with!"

There was a pause.

"Okay, exactly _what_ did I do to you?" Calvin asked.

Thunderstorm paused.

"Well, it's the principle of the matter," He said, finally. "You _almost_ did something bad to me!"

"Ah," Calvin said.

Two more Shadows walked up just then, leading Sheila and Jacqueline into the glass chamber.

"YOU!!" Sheila screeched, jabbing a finger at Brainstorm, who was in the cage. "I KNEW YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS!! YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I HAVE MY SHEILA SPACE STATION BUILT!!"

Jack groaned.

The two Shadows lead Sheila and Jacqueline into the chamber, and slammed the door, locking it.

There was a pause.

"Well, might as well make the best of it," Jacqueline said.

Sheila glared at her.

"Now that that's done, I can get to work on ordering the Earth leaders to make me ruler!" Thunderstorm said, turning to Calvin and Hobbes.

"Wait a minute!" Candace suddenly interrupted from inside the chamber. "Who are you! And what are you doing with us?!"

"And furthermore, what's going on?" Miss Wormwood demanded.

Thunderstorm turned an evil grin onto the group before him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, have I been leaving you in the dark?" He chuckled.

He jabbed a finger at Dr Brainstorm.

"That man right there is an insane evil genius," Thunderstorm said.

"Ah, I wouldn't go as far as to call him _that._" Jack said.

Thunderstorm ignored him, and continued.

"I am, too," He said, turning back to them. "However, _I'm _a little more careful when planning to take over the planet than he is!"

"Wait, you want to take over the Earth?" Susie asked.

"Yes," Thunderstorm said, crossing his arms.

"Do you know how incredibly unoriginal that is?" She asked, her brow furrowing.

Holographic Retro, Sheila, and Brainstorm all rolled their eyes around, trying to act innocent, while Hobbes and Socrates snickered.

Thunderstorm glared at her.

"Well, no one asked your opinion on the subject, so I'm leaving it at that," He said, turning around.

There was a pause.

Susie turned, and looked over at Jacqueline.

She was jogging in place, and didn't seem to care that she was trapped in a glass prison cell.

She smiled, sweetly at Susie.

"Hi!" She said, cheerfully.

Susie blinked.

"Uhh.. Hi." She said, a little unsurely.

"Now on to you," Thunderstorm said, turning to Calvin and the gang. "You will escorted to the local jail where you will..."

Thunderstorm stopped.

Calvin was standing on his head, holding the MTM with his feet, glaring at Thunderstorm.

Everyone stared at him in shock.

"Is something amiss?" He asked, calmly.

"Ah-amiss?" Thunderstorm started. "Why no, why would there be anything amiss?"

"I'm standing upside down," Calvin said, his expression remaining dark. "holding my inventions with my bare feet and you don't think anything is amiss?"

Thunderstorm blinked.

"Uh... yes, but I thought you had just gone nuts... I was trying to humor you."

"I was just doing a little test," Calvin said. "A test to see if you've gone crazy. Because if there's one thing I can't stand... _it's crazy people!_"

Socrates rolled his eyes.

Thunderstorm cut his eyes from side to side.

"Well... I passed your test, you can stop... staring at me like that, now..."

"I can't stop," Calvin growled, standing back up.

"Why not?" Thunderstorm said, starting to get impatient.

"Because the king of the potato people won't let me," Calvin said.

There was a long moment of silence.

"I begged him. I got onto my knees, and wept! He wants me to keep doing it. Keep doing it for ten years!"

Thunderstorm stared at Calvin, uneasily.

"Uh, can I see him?" He asked.

"See who?" Calvin asked, his voice starting to go back to normal.

"The king," Thunderstorm said.

"Do you have a magic carpet?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah, sure," Thunderstorm said. "A little two-seater."

"So let me get this straight," Calvin said, his voice totally back to normal, now. "You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the king of the potato people, and beg for your freedom... and you're telling me your completely sane?"

There was another lengthy pause.

"Uuuh..." Thunderstorm began.

"I'd say that warrants a punishment. MTM?"

_**BRAZAP!!**_

Suddenly, Calvin disappeared out of the cage and reappeared right outside it.

Before Thunderstorm could react, Calvin aimed the MTM, and fired.

_**ZZAAP!**_

"AAAAUGH!!" The mad scientists screamed, flying backwards into the glass prison.

"There!" Calvin said. "That will teach you to be a bread basket."

Calvin paused.

"You really went through a lot of trouble just to do that," MTM commented. "Was it all really necessary?"

"Yes, it was," Calvin insisted. "NOW ATTACK!!"

Calvin leaped forward to attack Thunderstorm again, when suddenly two Shadows leaped up and grabbed Calvin from behind.

"HEY!" Calvin screamed, dropping the MTM on the ground.

"Ouch!" MTM grunted, as he hit the floor. "That was quite uncomfortable. Let's not do it, again."

The two Shadows pulled Calvin back.

He began struggling against them.

"LET GO OF ME AT ONCE!! GIVE ME THAT CD PLAYER!! _I PAID MONEY FOR THAT THING!!_" He shouted, angrily.

"Good to know he cares about me," MTM said.

Thunderstorm stood up.

"I am sick and tired of you doing that!" He shrieked at Calvin, as the two Shadows shoved him back into the cage. "I am done being zapped around by that thing!"

The mad scientist whipped out his black Servant Ray, and aimed it at the MTM.

"Emergency, emergency. There's an emergency going on," MTM said, calmly.

Suddenly, a blast of red exploded out of the tip of the Servant Ray, heading for the MTM.

"It's still going on, and it's an emergency." MTM said.

_**KAABOOOM!!**_

Calvin's eyes burst open in terror.

Dr Thunderstorm had just destroyed the MTM.


	36. Thunderstorm P6

_Part six written by Garfieldodie_

Everyone was being marched down the street from their glass imprisonment by a ton of Shadow duplicates. They all marched in a straight line, each of them shackled together. It was a sad sight. Children were crying, their parents were trying comfort them and each other, and the robots kept their bazookoids on "kill".

Near the middle of the line, Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Dr Brainstorm and Jack all marched.

Jack looked bored, as usual. Dr Brainstorm was cursing and grumbling under his breath. Sherman was in a small shackle between Andy and Dr Brainstorm. He kept checking the sky. Andy had his hands shoved in his pockets and faced the road. Socrates was simply walking along, humming to himself. Hobbes was looking rather nervous.

As for Calvin, he had no look of expression on his face. He was just walking straight ahead, not caring what happened next.

What happened next, however, was soon made known.

They arrived at a giant jailhouse at the edge of town that had been emptied. The Shadows led them inside and, one by one, they were all searched for anything that looked remotely dangerous.

Several objects, like knives, razors and English IV text books were confiscated.

Finally, Calvin and the gang arrived.

They were all thoroughly searched.

All of Calvin's inventions were confiscated, as well as Dr Brainstorm's (even though they weren't so dangerous).

Later, they were all taken to their cells.

Mom, Dad, Susie and Rosalyn were given one cell. Moe, Candace and Miss Wormwood were put in another. Retro, Sheila and Jacqueline were thrown in one as well.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack were given a bigger cell than most others. They were shoved inside and the door slammed behind them.

_**CLANG!**_

Jack watched them leave, but Dr Brainstorm simply glared ahead.

"Well…," he said. "This certainly qualifies as bad."

Brainstorm didn't respond. He was too busy grumbling.

A few moments passed.

As they stood there, they heard footsteps from behind them. They turned around.

It was Dr Thunderstorm, who was grinning sinisterly at them.

"Hello, Frank, Jack," he said coolly. "Enjoying your stay so far? I could have room service send up some torturing instructors if you'd like."

Jack simply glared at him and walked towards the window.

Dr Brainstorm, however, opted to confront him.

"Mind telling me what you plan to do now?" he sneered, folding his arms.

Dr Thunderstorm grinned wider.

"Oh, but of course! If there's anything I love, it's gloating!" he said.

Brainstorm rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I've taken over the world by now. I've got a video conference with the world leaders to…ahem…_bargain_ with them so I can become ruler of the world!"

"I'm _so_ happy for you," Brainstorm grunted through gritted teeth.

Thunderstorm grinned.

"Ah, I see that you're jealous! Of course, you have every reason to! After all, it was always your dream to rule the world, and I beat you to the punch! Aren't I just _terrible_?"

And he laughed a horrible laugh.

Dr Brainstorm felt his blood boil.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!!" he shouted.

Thunderstorm smirked.

"What? Don't you want to catch up with your old college buddy?"

"LEAVE!"

Dr Thunderstorm grinned.

"Fine, then, Frank. I'm leaving. Just remember one thing: I'm the best there is!"

And he laughed again as he left.

Dr Brainstorm felt himself trembling with rage.

Jack, on the other hand, was staring out the barred window.

"Hey, Frank—"

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!**_"

"Whatever. Look outside."

"What?! And look at Thunderstorm's handiwork? Don't make me laugh!"

"No, it's not that," Jack insisted. "Look at the sky!"

Dr Brainstorm sighed and approached the window beside Jack. He gasped when he saw it.

Clouds were flashing past over them, and the sun was very quickly setting, and the sky was changing colors.

"Sherman was right!" said Jack. "Any time now, the Earth is going to be destroyed!"

"But that's not in his plan!" Dr Brainstorm cried. "He's out to _rule_ the world, not destroy it!"

* * *

From their cell, one floor down, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates were sitting around, waiting for something to happen.

Calvin was staring ahead at the wall. Sherman was watching the changing sky. Hobbes and Socrates were pacing around while Andy lay on his back, watching the ceiling.

"Poor MTM," Andy sighed.

"Yeah," agreed Socrates. "Shot down in the prime of life! I feel so bad for him!"

Hobbes snorted.

"Well, I don't care," he said. "All he ever did was insult me and mess things up and everything else bad. You ever look at our lives? Everything always leads back to Calvin's inventions. If you ask me—OUCH!"

Hobbes jumped in the air in pain.

Everyone stared.

Calvin had snapped out of his daze and had stomped his foot down incredibly hard down on Hobbes' tail. He was refusing to remove his foot.

There was a very tense pause.

"Shut…up…," Calvin said hoarsely.

Hobbes stared.

"But I…"

"_Shut…up…_," Calvin repeated with more danger in his voice.

Hobbes clamped his mouth shut.

Calvin continued. "All MTM ever did was try to help us. He always fired his lasers on time, and he always tried to lighten the mood. And what did _you_ do during all those adventures?"

Hobbes gulped. He knew where this was headed.

Andy, Sherman and Socrates continued to watch nervously.

"You were always running off. You were always hiding. You never helped us. What happened when we were attacked by a monster under my bed? You ran off. What happened when Socrates and I were attacked by a mountain lion? You ignored us. What happened when we were all trapped by that ghost? You deserted us. What happened when Socrates was lost and cornered by two bears? You feigned injury and made _me_ do all the work, AND I DON'T EVEN _LIKE_ SOCRATES!!"

Hobbes felt himself getting smaller with each reminder.

"YOU STAND HERE COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW USELESS MY INVENTIONS ARE, WHEN IN REALITY, _YOU'RE THE USELESS ONE! I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER WITH YOU!!__** I SHOULD'VE KICKED YOU OUT ON SORRY FURRY BUTT **__**YEARS**__** AGO!!**_" Calvin roared.

Hobbes had now back into a corner and had shrunken down quite a bit.

Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched in shock.

Calvin continued to stand over Hobbes, his face red with fury.

There was a long pause.

Finally, Calvin calmed down and reached into his hair, and he pulled out the Transmogrifier Gun.

"Now let's get out of here," he said at last.

Everyone stared as Calvin walked over to the wall. Aiming carefully, he pointed it at a brick in the wall.

_**BRZAP!**_

The brick was transmogrified into a replica of the Servant Ray.

"What's that for?" Socrates asked.

"To help us, stupid," Calvin replied.

"How can it do that?" asked Hobbes.

"Watch."

Calvin took the Servant Ray and aimed it out the door.

Several Shadow guards were in the hallway.

"Servant Ray?" Calvin said. "Take out the robots!"

There was a pause.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Huh," Calvin said. "It's a more exact duplicate than I thought. Servant Ray, DO NOT take out the robots!"

_**ZAP!**_

A flow of steady electricity flew from Servant Ray and through the bars.

All the Shadow robots suddenly screamed in agony as the electricity hit them and flew through their circuits. They fizzed and rattled for a while before they finally gave out and blew up.

_**KABOOOOOM!**_

Everyone ducked down as little bits of metal flew about and landed everywhere.

When the smoke plume cleared, they saw the remains of the robots.

Calvin then used the Servant Ray to unlock the cell door, and then he exited the cell and approached the destroyed robot. He kicked some of the rubble with his foot.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…," he sighed.

The others followed him.

"Now what?" asked Andy.

"We need to get Dr Brainstorm and Jack," said Calvin. "They're on the top floor."

They scrambled down the hall, up the stairs and into the top floor where Dr Brainstorm and Jack were being held. Using the Servant Ray, Calvin was able to free them. They both stepped out.

"Now what do we do?" asked Jack.

"We need to confront Thunderstorm," said Calvin. "We need to show him who's boss and get him out of the picture once and for all."

"Indeed," said Brainstorm. "He and I have a score to settle."

The others nodded.

Just then, Andy walked up holding a small box.

"I found the confiscated items," he announced. "Your inventions are in here."

"Excellent!" said Calvin.

Calvin and Brainstorm immediately pulled out their things and jammed them into their pockets.

"Let's go," said Sherman. "We have to hurry. This universe is becoming more and more unstable."

"Check," said Calvin.

They all started to leave, but before Calvin left, someone called out to him.

"Hey, wait!" Susie shouted. "What about _us?!_"

Calvin turned to face her.

"What _about_ you?"

"Calvin, you've got to let us out!" Dad cried.

"Why should I?"

"Because we're your family!" Mom said.

Calvin scratched his chin.

"Oh, okay," he said at last. "I'll come back for you."

Everyone stared at him.

Then Calvin grinned as he walked out the door.

"Don't worry, Dad! Being in jail builds character!"

And laughing at his own wit, Calvin walked away.

Dad grumbled angrily.

* * *

Up above the Earth in the space station, Dr Thunderstorm was typing commands into a computer. It was the machine for the portal. He was trying something out.

"If I try just right, I can open the portal even _wider_!" he said happily. "I can have over a zillion Shadow replicas within the next two hours at _least_!"

Then he saw the Earth spinning a little faster down below. He thought for a moment.

"Hmmm…," he said. "Maybe I should try and stabilize it."

_**WHIRP! WHIRP! WHIRP! WHIRP! WHIRP!**_

He whirled around.

It was the alarm.

"What's happened?!" he cried.

Thunderstorm ran over to the control panel and looked at the report on the screen. He gasped.

"What?! Someone has escaped from the prison! Who could have done this?!"

Then pictures of Calvin and Dr Brainstorm appeared on the screen.

There was a pause.

"Well, when you ask a bonehead question…," he muttered.

He thought for a moment. Then he had an idea.

"Shadow! Get in here!"

Shadow came running up.

"Master?" he asked.

"We are going down to Earth! We are going to destroy Brainstorm and Calvin _once and for all!_"

"Affirmative."

Thunderstorm pushed a button on the control panel.

_**ZZZT!**_

Thunderstorm and Shadow disappeared.

Calvin was now sitting on a sidewalk. He had the remains of the MTM scattered around him, and he was doing everything in his power to repair it. Sherman was assisting as well.

"Come on… Come on…," he grunted. "Please work…"

_**ZZZAP!!**_

There was a flash of light.

Everyone looked up in surprise.

It was Dr Thunderstorm and Shadow.

"YOU!!" Brainstorm shouted.

"_YOU!!_" Thunderstorm shouted back.

Jack stepped forward.

"Well, now that introductions are out the way…," he said, "…shall the battle commence?"

"Affirmative," Shadow growled.

Dr Brainstorm pulled out his Servant Ray, and Dr Thunderstorm pulled out his.

Hobbes paused for a moment. Then he did something surprising. He picked up the Transmogrifier Gun.

Everyone stared at him.

"Hobbes?" Socrates asked.

"Better dead than a jerk," Hobbes stated boldly.

Everyone grinned.

Andy picked up the Scream Horn, and Socrates picked up the Time Pauser, and Jack picked up the Atomic Freezer. They all joined up with Dr Brainstorm.

"And so it begins…," Thunderstorm said diabolically.

"ATTACK!!" Hobbes crowed.

They all descended upon Dr Thunderstorm and Shadow, and giant battle commenced.

Dr Brainstorm ordered his Servant Ray to not attack, and lasers flew everywhere.

_**BRZAAP! BRZAP! ZAP! ZAP!**_

Hobbes shot the Transmogrifier Gun everywhere.

_**BAM! ZAP! BRZAPP!**_

Dr Thunderstorm fired his own Servant Ray.

_**ZAPP! BAP! ZIP ZAP!**_

Andy blared the Scream Horn at Shadow…

_**SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!**_

…who attempted to counter with his claws.

_**SCREECH!!**_

Socrates managed to confuse the villains by using the Time Pauser to appear everywhere and nowhere and laughing.

_**BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!**_

Jack managed to sneak the Atomic Freezer onto Dr Thunderstorm's lab coat, freezing it.

_**SHIICK!**_

Unfortunately, Shadow was able to break the ice with his lasers.

_**KAZAP!**_

While this was going on, Calvin and Sherman quickly began to repair the MTM as best they could.

"Here are the voice chip and the personality software," said Sherman, holding up to pads of electronics.

"Good," said Calvin. "Let's start with those."

They immediately inserted them into the banged up MTM's casing, along with all the wiring they had managed to get back into it. There was a pause as the circuitry whirred. There was some static until…

"Alright, dudes?" MTM said at last. "What's happening down in Grooves Town?"

"MTM! You're alive!" Calvin cheered.

"Barely. What'd I tell you? My paint job has been scratched up, just like I said earlier. Gordon Bennett, look at me. It's like someone took a garage sale bought shaving razor to me casing."

"He'll be okay," Sherman sighed.

"Now then," Calvin said, putting more wires into the MTM. "Let me just engage MTM's nanotechnology auto-repair feature and..."

_**WHUMP!**_

They all looked up in surprise.

Dr Thunderstorm and Shadow had defeated the others, who lay in a heap nearby.

"Uh-oh," said Calvin.

"Shadow, retrieve!" Dr Thunderstorm ordered, pointing at Calvin.

"I obey," Shadow replied.

Before Calvin could escape, Shadow extended his arms and grabbed him, pinning him down briefly. Calvin quickly whispered something to Sherman, who nodded just before he was whisked away.

Seeing that no one was taking any notice of him, Sherman began typing things into the now completely repaired MTM.

"Ooh, good plan," MTM said. "You ever think of selling it?"

Sherman rolled his eyes.

Shadow brought Calvin to Dr Thunderstorm.

"You rang?" Calvin asked in a monotone voice.

"SHUT UP!" Thunderstorm shouted. "I'M DONE COMPETING WITH YOU AND BRAINSTORM!! NOW YOU SHALL PERISH!!" And he pulled out his Servant Ray.

"Oh no," Calvin said emotionlessly. "Help! Scream. Oh, unspeakable horror."

Just then, the MTM beeped.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Thunderstorm demanded, taking the Servant Ray down.

"Energy Absorber activated," MTM replied.

There was a pause.

Dr Thunderstorm stared at him.

"Uh…huh?" he asked.

Then the ground began to shake.

"What the…? SHADOWS! ATTACK!" he screamed.

But the Shadow replicas that surrounded them didn't move. In fact, _they_ were the source of the vibrations.

"WHY DON'T YOU OBEY?!" Thunderstorm demanded.

"Simple, really," Calvin replied calmly. "MTM's energy absorber is being used to close the portal up. All across the planet, all the Shadows, save for the original one here, will be sucked back into the dimension from where they came from."

"WHAT?!"

"But hey, the plus side is that the planet will stabilized at last and everything will go back to normal!"

"HOW IS _THAT_ A PLUS SIDE?!"

"I didn't say it was for _you_," Calvin grinned.

Suddenly, one of the Shadow clones imploded.

_**FOOM!**_

The same thing happened to three more.

_**FOOM! FOOM! FOOM!**_

Then a whole row of them disappeared.

_**FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! FOOM! FOOM!**_

"NOOOOOOOOO!!" Thunderstorm wailed hysterically. "MY PRECIOUS ROBOTS!!"

Shadow was in a state of shock, so Calvin was able to escape from him. He scooped up Sherman and the MTM and joined the others, who were managing to get up.

"Nice plan!" said Andy.

"Well done," Jack agreed.

Dr Brainstorm remained silent.

Jack nudged him.

"Huh? Oh, right," he said unsurely. "Er…nice work, Calvin."

Calvin simply grinned sweetly, and then he turned to MTM.

"MTM, how is the planet doing?" he asked.

"Processing…," MTM replied.

Everyone glanced at Hobbes.

Hobbes simply sighed. "I guess I would've missed it after awhile," he admitted.

The others grinned.

"Processing…," MTM repeated. "Alright, the world is almost saved," he announced. "All the Shadow replicas have been sent back to the other dimension, and the Earth is slowing down considerably."

"Good," said Calvin. "Now then, let's initiate a concentrated time vortex, shall we?"

"Check."

MTM beeped again.

_ZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!_

Suddenly, a white, spiraling funnel shot itself from the MTM, and engulfed the whole planet.

"ACK!" Thunderstorm shrieked. "NO! STOP IT! SHADOW, TELEPORT!!"

"I obey," Shadow replied.

In a field of electricity, Dr Thunderstorm and Shadow teleported to the space station again.

The others decided to ignore them.

"Now what happens?" Jack asked.

"Now we just rewind time!" Calvin replied.

"What? Why?!" Hobbes asked. "You could be revered as a hero!"

Calvin shrugged.

"I dunno," he sighed. "I guess it's got to do with people being scarred for life by this event."

"Oh, I dunno," said Andy. "I think this whole thing might have saved a couple of marriages."

Calvin rolled his eyes and hit REWIND on the MTM.

"Time being rewound now. Engaging time-proof force field," MTM announced.

A green electric dome covered Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman, Socrates, Dr Brainstorm and Jack, protecting them.

"How far back do you want to go?" MTM asked.

"Oh, how about just after the first blackout that Frank made?" Calvin suggested.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!**_"

"Right then."

Everything blurred slightly as it became night and day a few times before it finally made past three whole days.

"Finished," MTM announced.

The dome disappeared from around them, and they stood in the streets, watching cars go by and people walk past.

"Did it work?" asked Socrates.

"Look, on the TV over there," said Sherman, pointing.

They all looked at the electronics store with the TVs in the window.

"So, you think the worldwide power failure may have something to do with solar flares?" The reporter asked.

The other man nodded. "Yes, it's a rare occurrence, but it may be possible for a solar flare to actually cause a power failure of that nature," He said.

"Do you also think that any of it might have something to do with global warming or the thinning of the ozone?" The reporter asked.

The man stared at him. "Why would _that_ have anything to do with it?" He asked.

The reporter rolled his eyes.

Calvin grinned.

"We did it!" he said triumphantly.

"Case closed," Andy added.

Dr Brainstorm stepped forward.

"Well, Calvin, you have proven to be a most worthy advisory," he said.

Calvin stared at him.

"Uh…okay?" he said.

"And in those lost three days, you also proved to be a worthy companion."

Everyone stared at Dr Brainstorm in surprise.

"Wow, Frank, that was almost touching," Jack commented.

"_**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!**_"

"Okay, moment's gone," Hobbes sighed.

Suddenly, there was a flash of electricity.

_**ZZAP!**_

Everyone jumped in surprise.

"What the…?!" Calvin cried.

It was Shadow. He had teleported back. He grabbed him MTM away from Calvin.

"Hey!" Calvin shouted.

Shadow immediately pressed a command into the MTM.

"Teleporter activated," MTM announced.

_**ZZAP!**_

They were all zapped away.

A man with a mustache saw them do this.

"Mmm-hmmmm…," he said, and he continued walking away.

* * *

_**ZZAP!**_

They all appeared in the Space Station.

"Oh, _now_ what?!" Hobbes moaned.

"YOU!!" Thunderstorm shouted, appearing before them.

"What, this again?" Andy groaned.

Dr Thunderstorm, hated etched into his every feature, advanced on the group.

"YOU'VE RUINED ALL MY PLANS!" he shouted. "ALL MY HOPES AND DREAMS DESTROYED RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES!! IT CANNOT BE TRUE!!"

"You just said it yourself, Einstein," Socrates said.

Dr Thunderstorm immediately pulled his Servant Ray.

"IF I CAN'T HAVE THIS WORLD, _THEN IT CAN'T HAVE YOU!!_" he shouted.

Everyone stared.

"Has anyone ever said that before?" asked Andy.

"I don't think so," said Jack. "That was a pretty good line."

Suddenly, the tip of Thunderstorm's Servant Ray crackled with electricity.

Everyone hugged and hoped it would be quick.

_**ZZAP!**_

Everyone flinched. Then they noticed none of them were hurt. They all looked up. They stared at what they saw.

Dr Brainstorm was standing in front of them, holding his Servant Ray outwards at Dr Thunderstorm, whose own Servant Ray had been blasted out of his hand.

It was a tense moment as Dr Brainstorm held his angry glare at Thunderstorm.

"Nobody can kill any of them but _me!_" Brainstorm announced forcefully.

Thunderstorm growled and suddenly attacked him, pinning him to the ground.

"You were always the inferior one," Thunderstorm growled. "I'm the best there is! You should have just put up with the inferiority and played it good like you always did. But no, you had to try and compete. How can you _possibly_ want to continue this hopeless escapade?!"

Dr Brainstorm continued to glare at him through narrow eyes.

"Because I still remember," he replied simply.

"Remember what?!" Thunderstorm demanded.

"The smile when you tore me apart," Dr Brainstorm stated boldly.

And with those last words, he kicked Thunderstorm in the stomach and hurled him across the room.

_When we start killing, it's all coming down right now._

Everyone stared as Dr Brainstorm got up and continued.

_From the night that we've created, I wanna be awakened right now. (I wanna be awakened right now)_

"You deceived me right from the start. You showed me dreams of ruling the world together, but no! You had to break the promise. It made me realize it was all just a _lie!!_" he shouted.

_When we start killing, it all will be falling down._

The puzzle pieces slowly began to piece together in everyone's mind.

"And now you get _no mercy_," Brainstorm finished dramatically. He pulled out the Servant Ray. "SERVANT RAY! _DO NOT_ ATTACK AND DESTROY THUNDERSTORM!" he shouted.

_All the hurt that we're in, all we are is fading away…_

_**BRZAPP!**_

_When we start killing…_

A shot of fire roared from the Servant Ray and struck Thunderstorm, sending him hurtling into the wall of the space station.

This activated a protection system in Shadow.

"I must protect," he cried, dropping the MTM on the computer console.

Shadow immediately jumped in to attack.

"LOOK OUT, BRAINSTORM!" Calvin shouted.

Brainstorm was ready, however, and he immediately ducked out of the way, allowing Shadow to sail over him.

_**CRASH!**_

It was around now that MTM realized what he was sitting on. Activating his manipulator arms, he began typing commands into the computer.

Dr Thunderstorm had recovered now, and he was now wrestling with Dr Brainstorm.

"Give up, Frank!" he shouted. "GIVE UP NOW!"

But Dr Brainstorm pinned him to the floor.

"My…name…is…_DOCTOR…__**BRAINSTORM!!**_" he bellowed.

_When we start killing…_

"Self-destruct sequence activated," a voice announced.

Everyone stopped and stared.

…_it's all coming down right now._

They saw the MTM on the desk, waving at them with his robot arms.

_From the night that we've created, I wanna be awakened somehow (I wanna be awakened right now)_

Taking advantage of the shock, Calvin grabbed MTM and blasted Thunderstorm and Shadow away.

_**BRZAP!**_

They both flew to the far end of the Space Station.

_When we start killing…it all will be falling down._

"MTM? Teleport us out!" Calvin shouted.

"I can't. You never recharged my batteries when you repaired me," MTM replied.

"I knew we forgot something," Sherman said, snapping his fingers.

_From the hell that we're in, all we are is fading away._

"QUICK!" Brainstorm shouted. "There's an extra rocket in the launching room!"

Everyone that wasn't trying to take over the world at that particular moment ran after him. They all ran inside the next room and scrambled into the rocket. It was a bit cramped, but they managed to fit inside.

_When we start killing…_

Dr Brainstorm managed to start it up.

The space station shook as smoke and sparks poured everywhere.

It began to start upwards towards the ceiling, which was opening up.

_When we start killing…_

Everything got more and more intense.

Dr Brainstorm stomped on the gas, and the rocket began to fly out of the hangar.

_When we start killing…_

_**KABLAM! KABOOOOOOOOM! BAM!!**_

The explosion of the space station was enough to push the rocket further away from it. The rocket caught the shockwave and rode it to safety.

The space station was destroyed. None of them recalled seeing neither Dr Thunderstorm nor Shadow escape…

The rocket landed on top of Socrates' mansion.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack let Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates off there.

"Well," Hobbes said, stretching. "Let's not do that again sometime."

"Agreed," said Jack. "What a long day."

"A day that technically didn't exist," said Sherman.

Dr Brainstorm remained quiet.

"Frank, are you okay?" Calvin asked.

There was a pause.

Finally, Brainstorm spoke.

"_**IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!**_" he shouted.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"DON'T GET USED TO THIS SORT OF THING, CALLY!! I'LL GET YOU, AND YOUR LITTLE TIGERS AND BOY AND HAMSTER AND CD PLAYER, TOO!! Come, Jack! _WE'VE GOT WORK TO DO!!_"

"Do we?" Jack asked.

Dr Brainstorm glared.

"Jack, I'm afraid that this will have to go into my report," he sighed.

Jack chuckled. "Man, I haven't heard _that_ in a while."

Everyone waved goodbye as the rocket took off.

In the distance, they heard, "JACK! GET THE BRAKE PEDAL OUT OF MY EAR!!"

They all sighed.

"Glad that's done with," Calvin sighed. "So MTM, how do you feel?"

"Never been better," MTM replied. "I had a real out-of-body experience back there, I did. The bright light, the tunnel, the whole ten yards! But I'm back from the other side. Back and better than ever!"

"God help us," Hobbes sighed.

Everyone chuckled.

"Come on," said Socrates. "With time reversed back to wear we started, our movie should be starting again. Let's go watch _without _interruptions this time."

The others agreed, and they went downstairs to watch it.

* * *

In Antarctica, there was a sudden blast of electricity.

_**BRZAP!!**_

Dr Thunderstorm and Shadow, both severely injured, arrived in the snow.

"THANK GOODNESS!" Thunderstorm shrieked. "WE'VE ESCAPED! _**DOCTOR BRAINSTORM, YOUR DAYS ARE NUMB—!**_"

Suddenly, he fell through the ice.

_**SPLOOSH!**_

Shadow looked down.

Dr Thunderstorm reappeared again, bobbing up and down in a huge chunk of ice, frozen again.

"Warning," Shadow said. "Heat shield failure from earlier battle has arisen. Circuits fr-fr-free-freezing over-ver-ver-ver-ver-ver!"

Shadow stopped moving suddenly, now also frozen.

There was a long pause and wind howling as the screen went black.

_**THE END**_

**Voice work**

**Pamela Segall Adlon** Calvin**  
Tom Hanks** Hobbes**  
Ryan Stiles** Socrates**  
Andrew Lawrence** Andy**  
Colin Mochrie** Sherman**  
Norman Lovett** MTM**  
Jennifer Love Hewitt **Mom**  
Bill Murray** Dad**  
Kurtwood Smith** Holographic Retro**  
Dakota Fanning** Susie**  
Lauren Tom** Candace**  
Daveigh Chase** Rosalyn**  
Elisabeth Daly** Moe**  
Mary Jo Catlett **Miss Wormwood**  
Bridget Nelson** Sheila**  
AnnaSophia Robb **Jacqueline**  
Neil Crone** Dr Brainstorm**  
Michael Brandon **Jack**  
Clancy Brown** Doctor Thunderstorm**  
Tom Kenny** Shadow / Additional voice work**  
Dee Bradley Baker** Additional voice work

* * *

**Coming up Next: **Calvin and Hobbes: The Series (Season 4)


	37. Bonus Chapter

**Calvin and Hobbes: The Series (Season Three)  
Bonus Chapter**

**_CLASSIC MOMENTS IN SEASON 3 _**

-Dr Brainstorm meets Rupert and Earl for the first time: "ALIENS FROM A DISTANT WORLD! OH, I'M SO _HAPPY! _THIS IS WONDERFUL! **_I NEVER GET TO BE HAPPY!!_**"  
-Susie is repeatedly attacked in one form or another thanks to a chain letter. Perhaps her most worrying bit of bad luck is when she is splashed by a car despite there not being a puddle to splash her.  
-Hobbes is really annoyed in the mirror universe: "The logic in this universe is really sloppy!"  
-Tracer Bullet offers Mimi a cigarette. "Cigarette?" "Yes, it is."  
-Socrates' glance at his future self leaves a lot to be desired: "What happened to my butt?!"  
-In a historical moment in the show's history, MTM utters his first words: "Alright, dudes? How's it hanging?"  
-An invitation arrives in the mail to a New Year's party, and Mom and Dad aren't invited.  
-Calvin attempts to socialize with Elliot, but Elliot must have some sort of defense system that allows him to disappear. He'd do well in the jungle.  
-Dr Brainstorm and Jack are trapped thanks to Sheila's trick, and now Mother Brainstorm is eating them out of lab and home. And Dr B had only bought that jug of milk that morning.  
-Evil Jack is not only evil, but he's unoriginal as well, constantly quoting from various movies.  
-Socrates spends an entire day successfully avoiding Calvin's pranks, only to fall victim to the "your shoe's untied" gag. He doesn't even _wear _shoes.  
-MTM tries to hold a conversation with the malfunctioning Mega-Shrinker 6000.  
-Hobbes and Sherman try to co-exist. Enough said.  
-Jack must be snuck past Calvin's mom, so Calvin takes advantage of his auto-repair system to rip him to pieces and sneak him back. Ouch!  
-Old Faithful apparently interferes with the cable in Dr Brainstorm's lab.  
-Calvin manages to freak out Dr Thunderstorm by pretending he's crazy. MTM wonders if it was necessary.

* * *

**Birth of a Friendship  
Rewritten**

_Earlier this year, some college students in New York e-mailed me (Swing123), and expressed interest in adapting my first Calvin and Hobbes story into a short little play they were putting on. My story would be one of several fanfiction plays that would be taking place at their theater. Obviously, the last thing I needed was a whole audience of people in New York City seeing what kind of writer I was in 2004, so I e-mailed them back and told them I would rewrite the episode and send it to them. For your reading pleasure I have included said episode, here.  
So far I haven't had to sue them._

It was a bright afternoon in July. A tall balding man with glasses was scrubbing a car, quietly whistling to himself. He seemed to be mildly bored as he did so.

Suddenly, a small boy walked up to him wearing a safari hat. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"Well Dad, I'm off to check my tiger trap!" He grinned, crossing his arms.

"Hmm?" Dad inquired looking up.

"I rigged a tuna fish sandwich at that old tree with the lightning scar down the trunk. I've been waiting for a couple days and I'm positive that I've caught something, now!"

"You are?" Dad yawned.

"No, I'm just tired of waiting," Calvin shrugged. "So if you need me I'll be up at the hill inspecting the evidence."

"Tigers like tuna fish do they?" Dad said, turning back to scrubbing the car.

"Yep! Tigers will do anything for a tuna sandwich!" Calvin nodded.

"Calvin, you do know that you have a book report due, tomorrow, don't you?" Dad asked, turning back to the boy.

Calvin paused.

"....Yes," He said, slowly.

"Is it done?" Dad questioned his eyebrows jumping.

"Sort of," Calvin shrugged.

_"Sort _of?" Dad repeated.

"Well, I had to jump the space-time continuum a few times and I think I might have created a couple new black holes in the galaxy," Calvin explained. "I think I only diminished two or three years off of the sun's life expectancy, so we don't have anything to worry about."

"Is the report written?" Dad sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, sure, it's written," Calvin nodded. "I just haven't read it, yet. I'm still waiting for the time lines to sort themselves out. Well, see you later, Dad!"

And with that, Calvin rushed off before his father could call him back.

Dad stared after him, sighed, and turned back to the car.

Just then, a tall woman with brown hair and a green T-shirt came outside.

"Hi, Honey," She smiled, walking up to him. "Where'd Calvin go?"

"He's checking his tiger trap," Dad chuckled.

"Oh that's good," Mom grinned. "I put that little stuffed tiger out for him, last night. I hope he likes it,"

"He should. He's been going on about tigers for the last two weeks," Dad sighed. "Where'd you get that tiger, anyway?"

"Well, that's the interesting thing," Mom said. "I was just out walking up our hill for some exercise and he was just sitting on a log."

Dad blinked.

"Did some kid leave him there?" He asked.

"That's what I thought, but he looked like a brand new toy. That hill's also right in the middle of our property, so a kid couldn't have just came and left him."

"Huh, weird," Dad said, beginning to lose interest in the origin of the tiger. "Well, I got this done," He admired the now clean car, threw the dirty rag aside, and stretched a kink out of his back. "What else was I going to do?"

"Pay the bills?" Mom suggested, her eyebrow's raising.

"I suspected as much," Dad sighed.

* * *

Calvin peered out from behind a group of bushes over at a tree that had apparently been struck by lightning at some point in the past, as it had a dark scar down its trunk.

Several large sticks had been stuck in the dirt around the tree, forming what appeared to be a cage, and sitting inside on the ground, admiring his claws, was a tiger was about three times taller than Calvin was.

Calvin gasped.

"I caught one!" He whispered in shock. "I caught a tiger on my first try! I was expecting a badger or a wolverine on my first try!"

Calvin started towards the trap, but then stopped.

"Wait, I need to keep in mind that tigers are ferocious man-eating beasts, or at least that's what the circuses wants us to think, so I have to be handle this situation very professionally and wisely."

He paused for moment, thinking about what to do.

Finally, he made his presence known to the animal.

"OK, you listen up! Before you even to begin to consider devouring me, may I begin by saying that we humans are at the top of the food chain!" He shouted.

The tiger looked up and stared at him.

"Therefore, if you ate me, you would be defying the very laws of the universe!" Calvin announced, slowly taking a step towards the tiger.

The tiger watched him in dull interest.

"And do you know _why _we're the top of the food chain?" Calvin inquired, taking another step closer. "Because we can create fire, weapons and we have opposable thumbs!"

Calvin then held up his hands and showed his thumbs off to the tiger.

The tiger raised both of his front paws.

Calvin stared. They both had opposable thumbs on them. There was a pause.

"Okay, so you're some freak of nature. Big deal! We humans can create fire! So there!"

"Did you put this thing up?" The tiger demanded, pointing at the circle of sticks around him.

The tiger's voice took Calvin aback.

"Wait a minute, you can talk?" He gasped.

"Last time I checked, yes. Did you put this up?" The tiger repeated, motioning to the sticks, again.

"That depends. What do you plan on doing with the person who put it up?" Calvin asked, nervously.

The tiger rolled his eyes.

"My schedule's a little booked at the moment, so I'll probably let him off with a few internal injuries." He said, impatiently.

"I see," Calvin considered. He paused for a moment, then turned back to the tiger. "I have no idea what scoundrel locked you up like a common animal! Whoever they are should be put to death, as far as I'm concerned, though! Would you like me to let you out?"

To Calvin's surprise, the tiger got up on two legs, and crossed his arms.

"Yes, please do," He yawned. "By the way, through you're little speech about mankind superiority, you failed to mention your name,"

Calvin paused.

"Oh, right," He said, sheepishly, grabbing some sticks and pulling them out so the tiger could pass. "My name's Calvin. I live right down at the bottom of the hill, here."

The tiger peered down at the bottom of the hill.

"Hmm, charming," He noted. "I'm Hobbes,"

The tiger took Calvin's hand and shook it.

"Um... yes, nice to meet you, Hobbes," Calvin said, slowly.

"The pleasure's mine," Hobbes nodded.

There was a pause.

"How long have you been able to talk?" Calvin asked.

"The tuna fish you set up was terrible, by the way. It tasted like it had been outside for two or three days." Hobbes complained, licking his lips. "It's amazing that I was able to choke it all down."

Calvin stared at the tiger for a moment. "Why'd you eat it if it tasted bad?" He asked.

"I missed lunch," Hobbes said, indignantly. "Well now, Mr Hunter, now that you've captured a tiger, what do you plan on doing with him?"

There was a pause. Calvin's eyes blanked out.

"Uuh... I don't really know." He said, finally. "I didn't plan it out this far. What do people usually do with tigers when they catch them?"

"Nothing. We usually eat them before they even register that they caught anything." Hobbes shrugged.

Calvin thought for a moment.

"You want to see my house?" He asked, finally.

Hobbes looked up towards the sky. Calvin watched him, eagerly.

"Sure, I suppose I could squeeze a tour into my agenda. Lead on," He decided.

"Great! I can't wait to show you to Mom and Dad!" Calvin grinned, grabbing Hobbes' paw and leading him off down the hill.

* * *

Later, Dad was sitting down at his desk, writing out checks and going through a small stack of bills.

Suddenly, Calvin came into the room.

"Hey Dad!" Calvin grinned.

"Yes, Calvin?" Dad asked, dully, looking down at his son.

"What should I do when I catch I tiger?" Calvin questioned.

"I don't know. Bring it home and stuff it." Dad sighed, impatiently. "I really need to get this work done."

"Well, I just caught one!" Calvin grinned. "He's a pretty cool tiger, too! He can talk, he has opposable thumbs, he can stand up on two legs! It's really awesome! His name is Hobbes!"

"That's good, Calvin," Dad said, trying to work.

"I was a little confused on how he could walk and talk and all that, but I figured out, soon enough. Here's how it works. It's pretty cool, I'll tell you that...."

"That's fine, Calvin, you don't need to tell me." Dad said, rolling his eyes.

"You sure?! It's really cool!" Calvin grinned.

Dad chose to ignored Calvin this time.

"So, anyway, you say I should stuff him?" Calvin asked, rubbing his chin.

"Yeah, sure. Calvin, can't you see that I'm busy?" Dad demanded.

Calvin shrugged and walked off.

Dad went back to work.

For a few moments, it had seemed that Calvin had left. But suddenly, He walked back through the door. He was carrying a large armload of food with him. Crackers, cookies, bread, peanut butter, hot dogs and so on.

Dad looked up at Calvin and stared at him in disbelief.

Calvin walked out the other door into the back yard, dropping a couple hot dogs in the process.

Dad's eyes rolled into the back of his head.

* * *

Calvin lead Hobbes around to the front of the house.

"And here's our front yard," He said, showing Hobbes the relatively small yard in front of him. "This is where I'm usually attacked by aliens, monsters and various flesh eating zombies."

"I see," Hobbes said, munching on a hot dog and rolling his eyes.

"The zombies, I notice, like to come out on Monday mornings." Calvin explained. "You should see them, Hobbes. All dressed up in suits and coffee mugs dangling from their fingers. They all stagger into their separate cars moaning and screeching and then drive off. It's pretty creepy."

"I would suppose so, yes." Hobbes nodded.

"One time I tried to talk to one of them," Calvin said. "She was about half way to her car, and I asked her if she knew what time it was. I already knew, but I was just testing to see if the zombies were sociable."

"Really? What did she say?" Hobbes asked.

"She.... I don't know.... just kind of gargled at me."

There was a pause.

"What time was it?" Hobbes asked.

"Six o'clock. I was waiting for the school bus." Calvin replied. "Would you like another bag of chips?"

"No, no thank you, I couldn't hold another bite," Hobbes turned down Calvin's offer, finishing the hot dog in his paw. "So, Calvin, what do you usually do for fun around here?"

"Being fully truthful?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes nodded.

"Nothing," Calvin said, simply. "My life has essentially just been one big bore from the beginning."

"I see," Hobbes considered.

There was a short pause. Hobbes thought about what Calvin words, and saw immediately that he had a very large imagination. He mulled over this for a while.

"It's a nice day, isn't it?" He observed, looking up at the sky.

Calvin looked upwards.

"Yeah, I suppose," He said. "It's nice and clear... and sunny. A little warm for my taste, though"

"Perhaps," Hobbes considered. "A little too warm for comfort. Do you suppose anything of interest is transpiring?"

Calvin eyed him, suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

"Well, what do you suppose is making it so hot?" Hobbes inquired.

Calvin squinted his eyes at the sky.

"The... sun?" He guessed.

"That's what they want you to think," Hobbes said, mysteriously.

"Who?" Calvin asked, his brow furrowing.

"The aliens!" Hobbes grinned.

"They only attack on Saturdays," Calvin said.

"And they know that your expecting that!" Hobbes explained. "So they attack a little earlier to surprise you!"

Calvin thought about that for a moment. His eyes grew wide.

"Oh my gosh, Hobbes, you're right!" He said, a hint of fear in his voice. "What do we do?!"

"We need to attack them before they get us!" Hobbes declared. "They've already taken out the government agents and created a heater for core of the planet! I wouldn't be surprised if they were watching us right now!"

Calvin and Hobbes both looked over their shoulders.

"I'll get the usual weaponry!" Calvin announced, running off.

Hobbes watched him. "Really? What's that?"

"Water balloons," Calvin said before disappearing in the house.

Hobbes paused as he thought about that.

* * *

A few minutes later, Calvin had returned to the backyard with Hobbes and he had some water balloons with him.

They were peering out of some bushes at Dad, who was setting up some sprinklers in the garden.

"OK, Hobbes, now this is something that happens every other month," Calvin said, quietly. "The aliens have taken control of my Dad, and they're ordering him to set up nuclear bombs in the yard!"

Hobbes squinted at Dad's work.

"Those are sprinklers," He said.

"No, they're bombs," Calvin shot back. "Now, the only way to free my Dad from their grasp is to splash him with water. It's not a pretty sight, the transition from alien to regular human, but in the end, it's for his own good!"

"Uh huh," Hobbes nodded.

Calvin slowly picked up the balloon and aimed it at his father.

"On three, ready?" He whispered to Hobbes. "**_THREE!!!_** DIE YOU SLIMY SPACE MAGGOTS FROM MARS!!!"

Dad looked up just in time to see the water balloon hurling towards his face.

_**SPLASH!!**_

"AAUGH!! CALVIN!!!"

"Success! Dad, you've returned!!" Calvin cheered leaping from the bushes. Dad was standing over Calvin, his teeth gritted and his fists shaking. "Now, Dad, you need to just sit back and relax. You've just been possessed by the aliens again! But with Hobbes' help we managed to..."

Dad grabbed Calvin's arm and lead him away in the other direction.

"Wait, Dad, you don't understand! They had taken out Earth's defenses!" Calvin tried to explain.

Hobbes watched them go, then quickly followed after them.

* * *

"He threw a water balloon at you?" Mom asked, who was sitting in her chair, reading a book.

"Yes, and then he started screaming to all the neighbors that he had defeated the aliens," Dad growled, Calvin right by his side. Beside Calvin, was not Hobbes, but a small stuffed tiger.

"Well, come on, you needed it." Mom chuckled. "Why don't you let it slide this one time?"

Dad looked back and forth between Mom and Calvin, then sighed.

"Calvin, please don't ever do that, again." He said, the iciness starting to melt from his voice.

"No problem, Dad!" Calvin said, cheerfully. "I think I showed the aliens what we're made of."

Dad rolled his eyes, patted Calvin on the shoulder, and turned to go back to work.

"That's a nice tiger you have there, Calvin," Mom smiled, after Dad had left. "Where'd you get him?"

"I got him up at the top of the hill, over there!" Calvin said, proudly, pulling the stuffed tiger to his side. "His name's Hobbes! Isn't he amazing?!"

"Oh, yes, he's quite cool." Mom nodded.

"I mean standing up on his front legs, being able to talk and having four fingers and a thumb, just like us! Isn't that cool?!"

Mom looked Hobbes up and down.

"Uuuh.... yeah sure," She said.

"Plus, I just stuffed him, so I finished my duty as a tiger tracker." Calvin announced.

Mom paused.

"You _stuffed _him?" She asked.

"Yep! Just like Dad said! Although, we're going to need a grocery list, now. You wouldn't believe how much these guys can eat!"

Mom stared at Calvin for a short moment.

"Um... OK, then." Mom said. "And how long is Hobbes staying with us?"

Calvin paused for a moment.

"Uuuh... I don't know. Hobbes', how long are you staying?" He turned around to the stuffed tiger, who didn't reply. Even so, Calvin's eyes widened in disbelief. "Really?" He said, quietly.

Mom looked at her watch.

"Well, I better start cooking dinner, it's getting late." She said, silently standing up, putting her book away on a desk next to her chair. "Have fun with Hobbes, Calvin. I'm glad you like him." And she walked off.

Calvin took no notice of her departure.

"You're leaving, tonight?" He said, rather quietly. "Well, where will you go?"

"Oh, well..." Hobbes shrugged. "I'm aiming on Denver."

Calvin paused for a moment.

"Why Denver?" He asked.

"Why not?"

"You mean you don't have a home?" Calvin demanded.

"We tigers don't have _homes_," Hobbes said. "We have territories."

"Well..." Calvin paused for a second. "You could always.... stay with me."

Hobbes considered that for a moment.

"Well, I don't know..." He said, slowly, but clearly wanting to take Calvin's offer.

"We have tons of tuna in the kitchen, you know," Calvin said.

"OK, I suppose I could stay," Hobbes said, acting like he was going to chose otherwise, had there not been any tuna involved.

"HOT DOG!" Calvin cheered. "Hobbes, ol' buddy, you and I will go places!"

"Neat," Hobbes nodded. "Do you suppose that this would count as a friendship?"

"More than likely." Calvin said.

"Great! Let's go look for some buried treasure!" Hobbes said, eagerly.

"Cool! I've got a map up in my bedroom, of the forest by in our property! let's go exploring!" Calvin exclaimed, excitedly.

And with that, the two new friends ran off, laughing and discussing all the great things they were going to do.

Off to begin their adventures.

**The End

* * *

  
**

**TRAILERS**

**THE FIVE CALVINS**

_Soft version of the Doctor Who theme starts to play._

_The camera pans over a starry sky._

**_Calvin (V.O.): _**_A man is the sum of his memories, you know? And I'm not even more so._

_Fade in from black on Calvin looking around a desolate landscape._

**_Calvin (V.O.): _**_It feels like I'm being torn away at, piece by piece._

_Fade to shot of Calvin fading away and back again._

**_Calvin (V.O.): _**_I need…to be whole._

_Fade to shot of Tracer running away from the Mind Scoop._

**_Disembodied Voice: _**_Calvin and Hobbes, their companions and their inventions have been taken out of existence._

_Shot of Calvin and Hobbes fading away._

_Fade to Stupendous Man and Socrates stumbling over a brick wall._

**_Stupendous Man: _**_I... I wonder if it was Rassilon himself who brought us here!_

_Fade to exterior shot of the __Dark__Tower__ far in the distance through a rolling mist._

**_Disembodied Voice: _**_A being unknown to him has taken him from existence, and taken him to the reactivated Death Zone._

_Cut to Stupendous Man close-up._

**_Stupendous Man: _**_Oh boy... We may be playing The Game of Rassilon right now, even as we speak!_

_Fade to black._

_Music slows, and then becomes louder and more powerful._

**_Cyberleader: _**_HAAAAALT!!_

_Random shots of explosions and Cybermen being destroyed flash by._

**_Rassilon (V.O): _**_THIS IS THE GAME OF RASSILON!!_

_More Cybermen blow up._

_Tracer and Andy are up against a rock._

**_Tracer: _**_Don't move, or we're dead._

_A Dalek shoots at Spiff and __Sherman__._

**_Dalek: _**_EX-TER-MIN-ATE!!_

_Calvin doubles over in pain._

**_Calvin: _**_GGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!_

_Cut to Calvin and Hobbes standing in a wasteland._

**_Hobbes: _**_Where the heck are we?_

**_Calvin: _**_We're the heck here._

_Cut to hoards of Cybermen coming up over a ridge._

**_Stupendous Man (V.O.): _**_We're going to the __Tower__ of __Rassilon__. He's the one who created the Death Zone._

**_Miss Wormwood (V.O.): _**_STOP HIIIIIIIIIIIMM!!_

_Under her screech, shots go by. Retro runs from lightning. Tracer shoots a rope from his gun. Calvin struggles to get up, but collapses._

_Spiff is abducted by the Mind Scoop._

**_Rassilon (V.O.): _**_WHO DARES DISTURB THE TOMB OF RASSILON?!_

_Dalek explodes._

_Raston Warrior Robot fires his arrows._

**_Tracer (V.O): _**_It's the most perfect killing machine ever devised._

_An arrow strikes a Cyberman._

_Tracer and Andy peek out from behind a rock._

**_Calvin (V.O.): _**_I am far more…than just…another…child…_

_Cut to Calvin, Hobbes and Holographic Retro fleeing the Cybermen_

**_Cybermen: _**_You will be destroyed!_

**_Spiff: _**_They used a device called 'The Mind Scoop' which would take other beings right out of existence, and drop them in this place._

_Cut to Stupendous Man and Socrates in a cave._

**_Stupendous Man: _**_It's a Yeti!_

**_Yeti: _**_BBRRRROOOOOOOWWWWWWWWLLLLL!!_

**_Socrates: _**_And now it's madder! Good going, genius!_

_Screams are heard over shots of Rassilon's projection, a skeleton, a Cyberman, the Dalek, Holographic Retro, Calvin and finally, Stupendous Man and Socrates._

**_Socrates: _**_We're playing a game? A game we're not supposed to win?_

**_Stupendous Man: _**_I…don't know._

_Holographic Retro shoots down the Cyberleader._

**_Cyberleader (V.O.): _**_You have betrayed us._

**_Tracer: _**_To lose is to win…_

_Cut to Calvin, Hobbes, Spiff and __Sherman__ overlooking the Death Zone on a cliff._

**_Tracer (V.O.): _**_…and he who wins shall lose._

_As the music ends, the sound of the TARDIS dematerializing is heard over the next clip._

_The camera pans over Calvin, Spaceman Spiff, Stupendous Man, and Tracer Bullet._

_Fade in from black on Holographic Retro._

**_Retro: _**_The universe without Calvin scarcely bares thinking about._

_Fade to black._

**PRANKING THE GHOSTS  
**

_Shows a darkened figure walking down a hallway._

_**Andy:** there was an accidental killing in that house during the tenure of the first owners._

_Shows Socrates slowly looking up at his ceiling from his bedroom._

_CREEAAAK!!! K-K-K-K-K-KCREEAAAAK!!!_

_**Socrates:** Nonsense, It's probably just… It can't be a… It's not haunted, alright?!_

_Shows a deathly pale hand grabbing Andy's arm, and yanking him into the darkness._

_**Andy: **No one lived in it from 1953 until now, when Socrates and Elliot and those other people moved in._

_Shows several doors slamming shut on their own, Calvin, Andy and Sherman looking around, terrified._

_**Calvin:** I want to take a more thorough look at that house tonight._

_Shows a closet door slamming shut, trapping Socrates inside._

_Shows Socrates frantically trying to open the door, then looking up towards the attic._

_Shows the pale face of a man moving towards him his mouth hanging open, slightly._

_**Socrates:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!!!!!_

_**Narrator**: A brand new Calvin and Hobbes. Sunday at eight. On Nick._

**ELECTRONIC INVASION**

_**Narrator: **On the next all new Calvin and Hobbes!_

_**Sherman:** Are you alright, Andy?_

_**Andy (monotonously):** I am perfectly well, Sherman._

_**Calvin: **Hobbes, do you think Andy's been acting a little different as of late?_

_(Shows a blank faced Andy and Sherman closing in on Socrates)_

_**Socrates:** HELP!_

_**Calvin:** You don't suppose someone's up to something do you?_

_**Hobbes:** When are any of our enemies not up to something?_

_(Shows lamp posts flickering and traffic lights changing randomly.)_

_(Shows Calvin and Hobbes standing in the middle of a parking lot with car alarms all going off, simultaneously.)_

_(Shows Calvin gasping as he sees a replica of himself trashing the living room)_

_(Shows a crowd of people overtaking Hobbes)_

_**Hobbes:** CALVIN!!!!_

_**Narrator:** A brand new Calvin and Hobbes: The Series. This Friday at seven! Only on Nick_

**SEASON FOUR TRAILER  
**

_Dramatic music is playing in the background._

**_Narrator: _**_After a year of waiting…_

_Fade to a shot of a cardboard box flying overhead._

**_Narrator: _**_…the return of the award-winning cartoon series…_

_Shot of Calvin and Hobbes peaking up over the edge of their treehouse._

**_Narrator: _**_…on Nickelodeon._

_Pause. Music steps up a notch._

**_Narrator: _**_Always_

_Shot of their house._

**_Narrator: _**_Better_

_Camera crash zooms in on the house._

**_Narrator: _**_Late. Than. Never._

_The music stops._

_Fade in on MTM._

**_MTM: _**_This is a distress signal. I'm very distressed. You can probably tell. I'm almost hysterical as it happens._

_The music starts again._

_Fade to a shot of Calvin, Hobbes and friends running down the street._

**_MTM _**_(voiceover)**: **Planet Earth is in trouble, and these guys have to protect it. They are…_

_Cut to a shot of Calvin applying a screwdriver to an invention._

**_MTM _**_(voiceover)**: **…Calvin, the leader and the inventor…_

_Cut to a shot of Hobbes wrestling with big green tentacles._

**_MTM _**_(voiceover)**: **…Hobbes, his best friend and confidant…_

_Cut to a shot of Socrates sipping a smoothie._

**_MTM _**_(voiceover)**: **…Socrates, the one who plays the pranks…_

_Cut to a shot of Andy with wires and electrodes coming out of his head._

**_MTM _**_(voiceover)**: **…Andy, the sarcastic reasonable one…_

_Cut to a shot of __Sherman__ writing down data and then carefully pouring chemicals into beakers._

**_MTM _**_(voiceover)**: **…and __Sherman__, the genius hamster._

_Cut to the MTM sitting on a dresser._

**_MTM: _**_Plus me, the Mini-Time Machine, also known as the MTM, and also known as the Rock._

_Pause._

**_MTM: _**_No one ever calls me that, though._

_Cut to a shot of various small spaceships leaving a mother ship._

_Flash to a shot of Holographic Retro going back into his light bee._

_Fade back to MTM._

**_MTM: _**_Additional: this season you can expect intrigue, adventure, disaster, comedy, sorrow, drama and horror. Also, you might even hear a few digs at a few bad movies like _Saw _or _The Sixth Sense. _Lord knows they've had it coming._

_Flash to a shot of the box slowly rising into the air with Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates._

_Flash to Calvin and Hobbes curled up in a tent._

**_Hobbes: _**_How are we for food?_

**_Calvin: _**_We've got half a bag of chips, a can of mustard, a browning lemon, three stale biscuits, two bottles of milk a day after their expiration dates, and a tube of gum ointment._

**_Hobbes: _**_Gum ointment?!_

**_Calvin: _**_Dad had it in the first-aid kit. I tried some. It's minty. Pretty good stuff._

_Shot of Calvin and Hobbes being surrounded by badly dressed people._

_Shot of Andy trying to open __Sherman__'s lab._

**_Andy: _**_What in the heck Ramsey is he doing down there?!_

_Shot of Electro's cackling face._

_Shot of Galaxoid and Nebular talking to an alien._

_Shot of Calvin and Hobbes rattling along in the wagon._

_Shot of Hobbes lying in bed as Calvin enters, telling him something._

_Shot of Hobbes swimming rapidly down a river._

_Shot of a beam of light shooting out of MTM._

_Shot of Socrates dancing against his will in a cage._

_Flash to a shot of Andy, Sherman and Socrates being lowered towards a working blender._

_Shot of an explosion of flame._

_Shot of Calvin seeing a strange pale young boy standing in his room._

**_Calvin _**_(voiceover)**: **Many people have an irrational fear that they're being constantly watched._

_Shot of Calvin looking over his shoulder. A dark figure ducks out of sight._

**_Calvin _**_(voiceover)**: **But they're wrong…because it's not irrational._

_Shot of the box crashing into a giant building through the window. Everyone is thrown from the box._

_Music stops._

**_MTM _**_(voiceover)**: **It's the end._

_Pause._

_Drums start playing._

**_MTM _**_(voiceover)**: **Calvin and Hobbes the Series. Season Four premiere at __7:00 PM__ on Nickelodeon._

_Music fades out._

* * *

**Character development**

**Calvin: **When the series started, Calvin was essentially the same intensely immature little weirdo he was in the comic strip. Between the middle of season one and the beginning of season two, he began calming down. In the middle of season two he had begun making more inventions and he became a lot more mature. His IQ seemed to raise a bit also, and he began handling dangerous situations more responsibly. In the upcoming season, he will become a little more darker and manipulative, making things just slightly more difficult for his enemies.

**Hobbes:** Hobbes' character has been very consistent through the whole series, so far. He still remains wiser than Calvin, although Calvin is not aware of it, and is still terrified of anything that could cut or bruise him. However, in the upcoming season, he will hopefully become a smudge braver. Maybe.

**Socrates:** When Socrates was introduced in mid season one, he was a partially insane lunatic who jumped on any chance to prank something. Three seasons later... he's a partially insane lunatic who jumps on any chance to prank something. Not really much left to say, really.

**Andy:** When Andy came into the series in late season one, he was very quiet, reserved and let Sherman do a lot of the talking. No personality in other words. Since then, he has progressively become more talkative and began forming his own opinion on matters, and now in season three he's possibly the most sarcastic person in Calvin's group. Chances are, he will remain like that through Season four.

**Sherman:** Sherman's personality has essentially remained the same through the series. He's an egotistical little hamster. His rivalry with Hobbes has pretty much remained intact, but he has struck up a friendship with Calvin, putting the two on better terms, seeing as how they are pretty much on the same level.

**MTM: **The newest member to the Calvin and Hobbes group. MTM began out in late season one, and considered more along the lines as one of Calvin's inventions rather than another person in the group. However, since Calvin has installed a voice chip into the tiny machine, MTM has leaped from a simple little invention to the guy with all the answers who never tells any of them. MTM will continue to become more and more indispensable to Calvin's group through season four.

* * *

**Coming up Next:** Calvin and Hobbes : The Series (SEASON FOUR)


End file.
